In this day and age, she could have seen both of them on DVD. (As long as we all understand “Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles III – Turtles in Time” was an abomination that should have never been made!
Hello me, meet the real me
And my misfit’s way of life
A dark, black past is my
Most valued possession
Hindsight is always 20/20
Looking back, it’s still a bit fuzzy
Speak of mutually assured destruction
Nice story, tell it to Reader’s Digest
I don’t think anyone is really aware how far the split has gone, at this point. Danny is maybe vaguely aware, but it hasn’t been come out and said–I mean, Amber’s been saying it for a while, the way she differentiates between alters, but everyone seems to take it as just differentiating roles.
I think maybe it’s finally going to be stated, straight out.
I don’t know, Bruce has a lot more than two personalities in there.
…Might be fun to see Gray Amazi-Girl, though. But not Devil Amazi-Girl, and fuck no not Guilt Amazi-Girl (who would pretty much be Blaine as seen by Amber).
Abel Undercity
As long as we don’t have to look at the Amazi-Girl of Zur En Arrh. That would be too damn hard on the eyes.
Abel Undercity
Tch. Used my real face again. Apologies for any frightened children or animals.
Yeah, I’m hoping that maybe Amber saying it out loud to Dorothy will actually allow her to finally gain some insight into it herself and realize that it’s unhealthy.
That’s the gross part about mental disorders, they color perception so widely and for so long that the individual thinks their warped perception is really how things are.
Imagine if someone went around replacing all the mirrors/photos of yourself with funhouse distortion mirrors and photoshopped pictures. You’d think your body was super messed up.
Except she’s trying to make herself look as bad as possible. She literally believes she is a monster, that anyone showing her comfort or support is delusional about what a monster she is and a force that is a danger for all.
She wants someone to finally validate that besides Mike, to tell her what she’s telling herself, that she’s broken dangerous garbage who should be locked up.
It’s not what she needs. It’s not what is true. But it’s what she wants and will do her damndest to present here.
Really hard to tell. I mean, Dorothy isn’t some perfect being and that’s a lot to ask of someone. But if there’s someone who could, it probably would be Dorothy.
Reltzik
Except…
… While Dorothy has a lot of the book-smarts needed to assess things analytically (though probably not the specific training), she’s also pretty sheltered. I don’t think she’s ready for a full-on dose of OMFGWTH abuse-and-trauma reality.
The best person to have this conversation with, at least of the main cast, would probably be Billie.
thejeff
Maybe. Dorothy may not really get it, but she might be able to respond with compassion.
Billie would just pass the bottle over.
Marisa Mockery
No botes for Ruth? They have similar backgrounds and Ruth HAS tried to reach out to Amber twice before her own spiral. I feel a now-educated-and-medicated Ruth could really help. More than Dorothy anyway.
Not trying to armchair diagnose, but legit want to know: has Amber’s “me and her” distinction been discussed from a mental health standpoint? Does this universe’s iteration of Amber, based on her life experiences, have some sort of a dissociative identity disorder, as confirmed by Willis, or is just a convenient turn of phrase?
Not outright confirmed by Willis, but several commenters who have DID have talked about feeling resonance with the character and discuss Amber and Amazigirl as if they are multiples.
As far as I know, no. I can’t find it now, but I’m 99% sure David Willis wrote a text post on one of his Tumblrs semi-recently about being up in the air about actually confirming anything regarding Amber/Amazi-Girl because of potential backlash either way…? I really really wish I could find the post in question, but I couldn’t after searching for more than half an hour aaaaa. :C I really don’t want to spread something that sounds like a rumor without a clear source to point toward, but at the same time I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have hallucinated that because I’ve actually been wondering about this myself, and I remember that seeing something referencing it was super super interesting to me. So, uh, take that with as large a grain of salt as you’d like. ;~;
But either way, for people who know something about multiplicity/DID? What SarahSaur said – intentional or not, some similarities are DEFINTELY there.
I think Willis indicated that he didn’t want to officially label her as DID, just as he didn’t want to officially label Dina as Autistic, because he does not have enough personal experience to feel authoritative in providing representation of those experiences. So like, doesn’t want to label the character and then fuck up the representation.
Well, I read what Willis said as kind of indicating that he wasn’t intending Amber to be interpreted as DID, but that there was one individual in particular he frequently heard from that was persistant finding in finding value in the representation of DID in comic and to whom it was rather important. I think Cerberus indicated that the individual that Willis heard from wasn’t him. In any case Willis has followed a fine line where it could be interpreted either way and honestly, that seems to work pretty well.
Of course my memory and interpretation of what Willis said could be easily colored by my preexisting biases.
Doki
(Just so you know, Cerberus is a lady! IDK if that was a typo though.)
But yeah, that was kinda my take too…? But I don’t know haha, I’m not psychic. |D
Yup, wasn’t me but yeah, I feel very much the same way that having a character I can identify with who hits home on some of my experiences as a person who has lived most of their life with DID has been powerful. Especially as it is being done by a person who cares about doing these stories right and not just going for the easy normative out on multiple stories.
It means a lot and has been critical for helping me reconnect with pride to this aspect of myself that will always be with me after hiding it for so long in fear that it would be used to deny my gender or sexuality or that it made me an inhuman monster everyone should fear.
408 thoughts on “Deceived”
Ana Chronistic
“You want the truth? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!”
Reltzik
“… given that the lack of clear handles is what’s keeping me from getting at the truth in the first place…”
RandomDude
No truth-handler you! Bah! I deride your truth-handling ability!
King Daniel
And so Amber cuts right to the chase.
Sunny D
Yeah, she got right to the point there, huh
King Daniel
Well, I hear Amber’s been responsible for a slashing of phone prices everywhere.
Arawn
A well honed reply that functions as sharp repartee. This witty punishment is going to kill the mood though. . .
Ninjamaid
Dorothy’s basically accusing Amber of backstabbing her, of course she’s a little on edge.
podian
She isn’t gonna let anyone beat her to the punch.
Spencer
These jokes are so phoned in.
Michael Chandra
You cut me with your criticism.
adjudicus
Cut it out guys, we’re all friends here.
Doctor_Who
“I liked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze more than the original!”
“*gasp!*”
…Who’m I kidding, that joke would ave worked for OG Amber, but this Amber was like negative seven when that came out.
Also, I suspect DoA Amber to be more of a Raphael person than Donatello. Just a hunch.
Jamie
I dunno. Raph might hit a little too close to home.
motorfirebox
Raphael, hm? I’ve been given to understand that he’s the leader of the group. Some folks say he was transformed from the norm by the nuclear goop.
motorfirebox
WHY AM I NO LONGER JOE. SWEET JESUS TELL ME I’M NOT MARY.
John
Willis updated the random gravatars a few days ago, so everybody got reshuffled.
You’re not Mary; you’re Meredith.
I got Danny. That’s why I’m Philémon now.
The Other Mike
I went from Leslie to Amazi-Girl. Which, uh, I guess I can live with. I don’t mind being a brunette superheroine whose alter ego wears glasses.
ǝ snow ʍousɐ
Not Mary but Mery
Mortartarsaus
Let’s see who I got!
Mortartarsaus
Heeeeey~! I got…. THIS… lovely person… (help!)
ǝ snow ʍousɐ
Adjust the capitalization of your email and spin the grav roulette again
Seerow
I am just going to ignore the Gravitar comments and instead be happy someone else still remembers the original Turtle Power theme song.
Ed Rhodes
In this day and age, she could have seen both of them on DVD. (As long as we all understand “Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles III – Turtles in Time” was an abomination that should have never been made!
Sunny D
Well that just ramped up to 11 real quick
Reltzik
Wait, this is an 11?
…..
Nah, this is like 8 at most. How high would the number be if a phone made an appearance?
Michael Chandra
8.5. Nothing is ever a 10.
Ed Rhodes
9.95? (To stick with the “Turtles” theme.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZVaAwPinbs
Miguel
0 to 100
Danni
truth time for dotty
Dafydd
♪Can you see the real me, can ya? CAN YA?!♫
Mr. Bulbmin
Hello me, meet the real me
And my misfit’s way of life
A dark, black past is my
Most valued possession
Hindsight is always 20/20
Looking back, it’s still a bit fuzzy
Speak of mutually assured destruction
Nice story, tell it to Reader’s Digest
AGV
Don’t steal Stephen’s job
Shiro
I don’t think anyone is really aware how far the split has gone, at this point. Danny is maybe vaguely aware, but it hasn’t been come out and said–I mean, Amber’s been saying it for a while, the way she differentiates between alters, but everyone seems to take it as just differentiating roles.
I think maybe it’s finally going to be stated, straight out.
Shiro
Like, everyone seems to think this is a Batman thing when it’s really not. But I don’t know comics well enough to make the correct allusion.
A Nonymous
The incredible hulk?
Zaidyer
Ooh, that’s a good one
jeffepp
For so many reasons.
EvilMidnightLurker
I don’t know, Bruce has a lot more than two personalities in there.
…Might be fun to see Gray Amazi-Girl, though. But not Devil Amazi-Girl, and fuck no not Guilt Amazi-Girl (who would pretty much be Blaine as seen by Amber).
Abel Undercity
As long as we don’t have to look at the Amazi-Girl of Zur En Arrh. That would be too damn hard on the eyes.
Abel Undercity
Tch. Used my real face again. Apologies for any frightened children or animals.
Clif
The horror. The horror. 🙂
Jamie
Batman has far, far, far too many representations to neatly boil down as an analogy. Rorschach is much more coherent for this purpose.
LooksLikeDaniel
Nah. Amazi-ber is not nearly misanthropic enough for a Rorschach comparison. She (they?) hates herself, not everybody else.
Chris Phoenix
Besides, I think Rorschach was perma-Rorschach once he appeared. Amber and Amazi-girl swap back and forth.
LooksLikeDaniel
Pretty much. As I understand it, Amber and Amazi-Girl are two distinct personalities. Rorschach has one personality. He just used a secret identity.
Mandy
Yeah, I’m hoping that maybe Amber saying it out loud to Dorothy will actually allow her to finally gain some insight into it herself and realize that it’s unhealthy.
Solenoid
I think you’re dead-on. She’s gonna spell it out as plain as can be.
Stephen Bierce
Na na na na na na na na na…
Doribi
well, that escalated quickly
pjeseb
Is Amber aware that “unfiltered” also means “without twisting things to make herself look as bad as possible”?
Solenoid
She thinks that twisting it like that is being honest, so no.
deathjavu
That’s the gross part about mental disorders, they color perception so widely and for so long that the individual thinks their warped perception is really how things are.
Imagine if someone went around replacing all the mirrors/photos of yourself with funhouse distortion mirrors and photoshopped pictures. You’d think your body was super messed up.
Scar Man!!!
That…is so accurate. Scary
Deathjavu
Thanks! I try. Also, I know from experience 🙁
Separating out the layers of self-deception that continuously distort every aspect of your life is more or less a never ending battle.
StClair
Yup.
Another comparison is trying to use a broken/miscalibrated/off-true instrument to recalibrate itself.
Cerberus
Except she’s trying to make herself look as bad as possible. She literally believes she is a monster, that anyone showing her comfort or support is delusional about what a monster she is and a force that is a danger for all.
She wants someone to finally validate that besides Mike, to tell her what she’s telling herself, that she’s broken dangerous garbage who should be locked up.
It’s not what she needs. It’s not what is true. But it’s what she wants and will do her damndest to present here.
thejeff
The question is will Dorothy be able to see through that.
Cerberus
Really hard to tell. I mean, Dorothy isn’t some perfect being and that’s a lot to ask of someone. But if there’s someone who could, it probably would be Dorothy.
Reltzik
Except…
… While Dorothy has a lot of the book-smarts needed to assess things analytically (though probably not the specific training), she’s also pretty sheltered. I don’t think she’s ready for a full-on dose of OMFGWTH abuse-and-trauma reality.
The best person to have this conversation with, at least of the main cast, would probably be Billie.
thejeff
Maybe. Dorothy may not really get it, but she might be able to respond with compassion.
Billie would just pass the bottle over.
Marisa Mockery
No botes for Ruth? They have similar backgrounds and Ruth HAS tried to reach out to Amber twice before her own spiral. I feel a now-educated-and-medicated Ruth could really help. More than Dorothy anyway.
Marisa Mockery
*votes damn typos -_-
DocHarleen
Not trying to armchair diagnose, but legit want to know: has Amber’s “me and her” distinction been discussed from a mental health standpoint? Does this universe’s iteration of Amber, based on her life experiences, have some sort of a dissociative identity disorder, as confirmed by Willis, or is just a convenient turn of phrase?
Shiro
As far as I know it hasn’t been outright stated in so many words but that definitely looks like the direction it’s been headed for a while.
SarahSaur
Not outright confirmed by Willis, but several commenters who have DID have talked about feeling resonance with the character and discuss Amber and Amazigirl as if they are multiples.
Doki
As far as I know, no. I can’t find it now, but I’m 99% sure David Willis wrote a text post on one of his Tumblrs semi-recently about being up in the air about actually confirming anything regarding Amber/Amazi-Girl because of potential backlash either way…? I really really wish I could find the post in question, but I couldn’t after searching for more than half an hour aaaaa. :C I really don’t want to spread something that sounds like a rumor without a clear source to point toward, but at the same time I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have hallucinated that because I’ve actually been wondering about this myself, and I remember that seeing something referencing it was super super interesting to me. So, uh, take that with as large a grain of salt as you’d like. ;~;
But either way, for people who know something about multiplicity/DID? What SarahSaur said – intentional or not, some similarities are DEFINTELY there.
SarahSaur
I think Willis indicated that he didn’t want to officially label her as DID, just as he didn’t want to officially label Dina as Autistic, because he does not have enough personal experience to feel authoritative in providing representation of those experiences. So like, doesn’t want to label the character and then fuck up the representation.
I might be remembering this wrong though.
Clif
Well, I read what Willis said as kind of indicating that he wasn’t intending Amber to be interpreted as DID, but that there was one individual in particular he frequently heard from that was persistant finding in finding value in the representation of DID in comic and to whom it was rather important. I think Cerberus indicated that the individual that Willis heard from wasn’t him. In any case Willis has followed a fine line where it could be interpreted either way and honestly, that seems to work pretty well.
Of course my memory and interpretation of what Willis said could be easily colored by my preexisting biases.
Doki
(Just so you know, Cerberus is a lady! IDK if that was a typo though.)
But yeah, that was kinda my take too…? But I don’t know haha, I’m not psychic. |D
Clif
You’re right. My apologies. Have we heard from her recently?
thejeff
Yeah, she was around yesterday.
Cerberus
Yup, wasn’t me but yeah, I feel very much the same way that having a character I can identify with who hits home on some of my experiences as a person who has lived most of their life with DID has been powerful. Especially as it is being done by a person who cares about doing these stories right and not just going for the easy normative out on multiple stories.
It means a lot and has been critical for helping me reconnect with pride to this aspect of myself that will always be with me after hiding it for so long in fear that it would be used to deny my gender or sexuality or that it made me an inhuman monster everyone should fear.