I’ll have you know that in space the universally recognized directions are “Up”, “Downish”, “Away from those smelly earthlings”, “Turn left when you see Glonfarb, he’ll be waving”, and “Peppermint”.
Just try navigating spacetime without them!
Dana
No wonder I’m always lost. I’m mixing up peppermint and spearmint.
Catullus
There is “down,” though— it’s where the enemy’s gate is.
Xenocide
I was hoping this joke has been made in reply to that comment!
Roborat
Oh, is that an Ender reference!?
Jon Rich
Yes, and thanks to Xenocide for making another, less-well known one!
Women are simply men with wombs. It’s right there in the description and consistent with our drive to gender equality. So I say keep the “man” turns of phrase and apply them to women.
Eh, he’s in better shape than one would expect. He could keep up with Dorothy during the Amazi-Girl chase, which is kinda impressive for a couch potato.
Still, Joe’s obviously got like a head or more on him, broad shoulders, and probably the best physique short of Jacob in the comic, followed by I guess Ethan. We need a chart for the body types.
Have you seen the “Looks like he was sculpted from caramel” strip?
thejeff
He’s small though, despite being well sculpted. If you’re into tall and broad shouldered, Walky ain’t it.
chris73
What good is visible abs if you can’t lift anything heavy?
Agemegos
You can pick up without lifting anything.
chris73
Its always more useful to be stronger then it is to be weaker and visible abs are only cosmetic. I’ll take a useful strong dead lift over visible abs anyday.
thejeff
Sure, he doesn’t have Joe’s shoulders. Or his size.
And he wouldn’t, no matter how much he worked out.
Do we have any particular reason to think Walky’s physically weak beyond just being small?
Or are we just bashing him here for not meeting he-man physical standards?
chris73
Well he doesn’t play sports or exercise (or I missed something) and he has unhealthy eating habits so while it doesn’t prove it beyond reasonable doubt it’s probably a decent bet that hes probably weaker than the average 18 year old
thejeff
And yet all of those things lead away from the sculpted abs too.
Without the plot armor that always made his assholishness somehow turn out to be for the best and also some kind of convoluted machiavellian scheme, he’s just a regular teenage edgelord imo. He gets a millimeter of sympathy because of alternate universe Mike, and there’s something potentially interesting about how he clearly seems jealous that Ethan quickly moved on. But otherwise, boring and mostly irrelevant.
Depends on what you want, and what you consider being an asshole. Blaine could certainly be doing better as far as he is concerned, though obviously, I’d argue he’s living better than he deserves.
She’s was a hot mess during the majority of the time she was on screen, but at least she has the excuse of PTSD that comes from being cracked while trapped in a mirror which in turn was trapped inside of Pearl’s pearl which could not be too healthy for her when you are aware of the many deep seated issues Pearl had.
IME, late 90s, and it’s actually gotten somewhat better since then… The level of edgy shitheadery at least has gone way down even though the level of politically-oriented anger has gone up on all fronts.
It sure seems like all the “I’m 14 and this is edgy” nonsense has been concentrated to a few discussion boards since the heyday of Newgrounds and PHP discussion forums. (Or maybe I just haven’t come across it since becoming Old.) I bet it was even worse on BBSes and Usenet.
CJ
While women’s bbs boards were mostly actually women and the guys who dropped in regardless were rather easy to get rid of, it started to be a zoo once the bbs-boards were moved to usenet. Not sure if that was only because there were so many more people involved or if it was that most of the new ones never heard of nettiquette or couldn’t care less. About a year after the move, if you wanted to have a women’s discussion board, you started a closed mailing list, as usenet groups were like having a discussion on Times Square two hours after the new year hit.
thejeff
Probably because you don’t hang out on the chans and reddit.
For all the old toxicity, Usenet and BBSes didn’t spawn political movements and hate groups.
Needfuldoer
That’s what I meant to say. It used to be harder to find extremism online, when the net was a chaotic web of independently run discussion boards and modern social networking didn’t exist. For better or worse, the Internet has become a mostly homogenized platform. “It’s just the Internet, don’t take it seriously” went away with this shift. 14-year-old edge seems to have become easier to find, more concentrated, and more toxic than ever. Newgrounds, Something Awful, and Fark all seem relatively benign compared to today’s toxicity.
Cyrano:
And if my nature wants the germ that grows
Towering to heaven like the mountain pine,
Or like the oak, sheltering multitudes-
I stand, not high it may be- But alone!
Le Bret:
Alone, yes! But why stand against the world?
What devil has possessed you now, to go
Everywhere making yourself enemies?
Cyrano:
Watching you other people making friends
Everywhere- as a dog makes friends! I mark
The manner of these canine courtesies
And think: “My friends are of a cleaner breed;
Here comes- Thank God! – another enemy!”
167 thoughts on “Deferred”
Ana Chronistic
Walk(y)ed straight into that one
Doctor_Who
Yeah, don’t set people up like that if you don’t want the obvious punchline.
LookingIn
since when has he ever seen the obvious? 😀
Deanatay
Walky’s a master of the ob(li)vious!
Clif
The conversation can only go uphill from here .
butts
you must be swift as a coursing riv—
Marsh Maryrose
You know, it can happen in just seven days.
Nikol Geier
So, two years irl?
Clif
That pesky time-warp again.
thejeff
And seven nights?
Roborat
And six long nights?
Keulen
with all the force of a great typhoon?
AnvilPro
Walky wins!
Stephen Bierce
I’m a Lo~o~oser–and I’m not what I appear to be!
William Leonard Reese Jr.
. . .This is a beautiful interaction. Also good on Wally for actually maning up. Now to see if he follows up on it and goes looking for Sal.
. . . Maning up. . . there has to be a better term for that that ain’t so male centric.
Doctor_Who
My uncle always used to say “Cowboy up”, but I guess that’s gendered too.
“Astronaut up” it is!
butts
saddle up, pardner
Tacos
But there is no “up” in space…
Doctor_Who
I’ll have you know that in space the universally recognized directions are “Up”, “Downish”, “Away from those smelly earthlings”, “Turn left when you see Glonfarb, he’ll be waving”, and “Peppermint”.
Just try navigating spacetime without them!
Dana
No wonder I’m always lost. I’m mixing up peppermint and spearmint.
Catullus
There is “down,” though— it’s where the enemy’s gate is.
Xenocide
I was hoping this joke has been made in reply to that comment!
Roborat
Oh, is that an Ender reference!?
Jon Rich
Yes, and thanks to Xenocide for making another, less-well known one!
BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
Lawyer up
Wait… no
not someone else
Owning up? Being an adult? Growing a spine?
BarerMender
Growing a set? On, wait…
Dark
I’m still partial to grow a pair, because honestly, it applies to both testicles and ovaries.
Marsh Maryrose
“Grow a set of gonads.”
EvilMidnightLurker
Gender up?
Falcon
Women are simply men with wombs. It’s right there in the description and consistent with our drive to gender equality. So I say keep the “man” turns of phrase and apply them to women.
Amazi-Stool
Why is “Maning up” considered to be “male centric”?
We are talking about a mane here!
Jamie
And female lionesses don’t have one.
Roger
So like, what’s Walky wearing that puts him firmly in Dressed Like a Child territory anyway. Just looks like a letterman jacket to me.
Doctor_Who
I think it’s a reference to his physique, not his clothes. He ain’t exactly Joe.
DailyBrad
Eh, he’s in better shape than one would expect. He could keep up with Dorothy during the Amazi-Girl chase, which is kinda impressive for a couch potato.
Still, Joe’s obviously got like a head or more on him, broad shoulders, and probably the best physique short of Jacob in the comic, followed by I guess Ethan. We need a chart for the body types.
Mr D phone posting
Have you seen the “Looks like he was sculpted from caramel” strip?
thejeff
He’s small though, despite being well sculpted. If you’re into tall and broad shouldered, Walky ain’t it.
chris73
What good is visible abs if you can’t lift anything heavy?
Agemegos
You can pick up without lifting anything.
chris73
Its always more useful to be stronger then it is to be weaker and visible abs are only cosmetic. I’ll take a useful strong dead lift over visible abs anyday.
thejeff
Sure, he doesn’t have Joe’s shoulders. Or his size.
And he wouldn’t, no matter how much he worked out.
Do we have any particular reason to think Walky’s physically weak beyond just being small?
Or are we just bashing him here for not meeting he-man physical standards?
chris73
Well he doesn’t play sports or exercise (or I missed something) and he has unhealthy eating habits so while it doesn’t prove it beyond reasonable doubt it’s probably a decent bet that hes probably weaker than the average 18 year old
thejeff
And yet all of those things lead away from the sculpted abs too.
Perhaps comic strip is not strictly realistic?
Drunk Mike
I think she’s referring to his behavior.
Zatar
He’s short.
Roger
I was asking about his clothes but okay
ESM
In addition to his twinkish stature, Malaya is literally leaning forward to look him in the eyes like the “how to talk to short people” meme
timemonkey
Let’s just hope she gets through this without wanting to date him. That’s a nightmare none of us need.
butts
judging by that downward glance i’d say she’s not interested
newllend(henryvolt)
Plus I don’t see her wanting to dat and/or fool around with Someone who looks like Sal.
CJ
Oh, I definitely see Malaya wanting to fuck Sal’s brother. To annoy Sal if for no other reason.
Dating, though? Whyever should dating be on her mind?
Amazi-Stool
Oooh I have not considered this!
Shipping Malaky now!
Deathjavu
Ugh, Malaya. When did the internet get together and decide that being an asshole was a virtue? I must have missed that meeting.
Cholma
What’s your opinion of Mike?
Deathjavu
Also an asshole?
Without the plot armor that always made his assholishness somehow turn out to be for the best and also some kind of convoluted machiavellian scheme, he’s just a regular teenage edgelord imo. He gets a millimeter of sympathy because of alternate universe Mike, and there’s something potentially interesting about how he clearly seems jealous that Ethan quickly moved on. But otherwise, boring and mostly irrelevant.
Plasma Mongoose
The sad truth is that being an asshole, like crime often pays off.
DailyBrad
Depends on what you want, and what you consider being an asshole. Blaine could certainly be doing better as far as he is concerned, though obviously, I’d argue he’s living better than he deserves.
Zach
Lapis would know.
Plasma Mongoose
She’s was a hot mess during the majority of the time she was on screen, but at least she has the excuse of PTSD that comes from being cracked while trapped in a mirror which in turn was trapped inside of Pearl’s pearl which could not be too healthy for her when you are aware of the many deep seated issues Pearl had.
not someone else
IME, late 90s, and it’s actually gotten somewhat better since then… The level of edgy shitheadery at least has gone way down even though the level of politically-oriented anger has gone up on all fronts.
Dana
Yeah, my first instinct is to say that it predates the mainstreaming of the Internet, but I can’t think of examples to support or refute that.
Needfuldoer
It sure seems like all the “I’m 14 and this is edgy” nonsense has been concentrated to a few discussion boards since the heyday of Newgrounds and PHP discussion forums. (Or maybe I just haven’t come across it since becoming Old.) I bet it was even worse on BBSes and Usenet.
CJ
While women’s bbs boards were mostly actually women and the guys who dropped in regardless were rather easy to get rid of, it started to be a zoo once the bbs-boards were moved to usenet. Not sure if that was only because there were so many more people involved or if it was that most of the new ones never heard of nettiquette or couldn’t care less. About a year after the move, if you wanted to have a women’s discussion board, you started a closed mailing list, as usenet groups were like having a discussion on Times Square two hours after the new year hit.
thejeff
Probably because you don’t hang out on the chans and reddit.
For all the old toxicity, Usenet and BBSes didn’t spawn political movements and hate groups.
Needfuldoer
That’s what I meant to say. It used to be harder to find extremism online, when the net was a chaotic web of independently run discussion boards and modern social networking didn’t exist. For better or worse, the Internet has become a mostly homogenized platform. “It’s just the Internet, don’t take it seriously” went away with this shift. 14-year-old edge seems to have become easier to find, more concentrated, and more toxic than ever. Newgrounds, Something Awful, and Fark all seem relatively benign compared to today’s toxicity.
Marsh Maryrose
Cyrano:
And if my nature wants the germ that grows
Towering to heaven like the mountain pine,
Or like the oak, sheltering multitudes-
I stand, not high it may be- But alone!
Le Bret:
Alone, yes! But why stand against the world?
What devil has possessed you now, to go
Everywhere making yourself enemies?
Cyrano:
Watching you other people making friends
Everywhere- as a dog makes friends! I mark
The manner of these canine courtesies
And think: “My friends are of a cleaner breed;
Here comes- Thank God! – another enemy!”
Doom Shepherd
Roughly the same day that the GOP discovered it.
AeromechanicalAce
Holy crap, Malaya opened her mouth and what came out DIDN’T make me want to punch her.
That’s a new one.
Lexi
Really? Because my reaction to her first question was “Did you forget that other people exist, Malaya? And that you have a roommate?”
ValdVin
She’s slipping: She speaks in three panels and forgot to drop even a nominal cuss word in the last one.
Plasma Mongoose