One can only assume that she said it with the least convincing possible tone, and that behind that last panel she’s making one of her unbelievably, cartoonishly guilty faces.
I s’pect she’s hoping that just mentioning menstruation to Jacob, a guy, will get him so flustered and squicked that he’ll be too scrambled to see through her ruse.
And kudos to him for seeing through it, but my God, how I wish that real, inarguably grown men, let alone 17-19-year-old boys, didn’t have that weird superstitious aversion Joyce was counting on. Jacob is more the exception that proves the rule here, in my experience.
My father, who is in his fifties, has three daughters, squicks out like hell if i just mention being on my period. He absolutely panics and dont want any details and gets upset with me if i try to continue on the topic. Even if it just was that he was asking me how im doing and i try to explain to him why the hell im anemic or exhausted.
Massive kudos to Jacob
Axel
men are weak
Axel
before someone gets pissy, I’m a men
Axel
second disclaimer, this isn’t an excuse for men to act badly. it’s just an insult.
Felian
that’s the best and worst disclaimer i have heard ;D
Portland
Every single time I’ve bought a bra at a department store from a male cashier, something has gone wrong. I’ve accidentally shoplifted bras twice because the man didn’t want to touch it enough to ring it up. Just last week, I got charged but he didn’t take the anti-theft chip off. If these men are attracted to women, I shudder to think what their sex lives must be like.
Librain
You would think that working in such a store would mean you come up against this sort of requirement far too often to still be weird about it.
I mean, if it was someone you know then maybe it might be weird seeing them buy underwear, but otherwise just handle it like any other clothing and move on.
As for their sex life though – it’s completely different when they know they are allowed to touch it. At work they don’t want to come off creepy so are extra cautious about it (which I’m guessing usually works exactly how they don’t intend it to).
begbert2
To be entirely fair to your weak father, you’re talking about copious bleeding from a body part. You’re not squicked out because you’re (by necessity) used to it. I don’t even like watching them put in the needle to draw my blood. The notion of having my body up and deciding to playact being a trauma victim is reason #85 I’m glad I’m not a woman. (Most of the others being how women get treated like shit.)
James
No, it really is just that men need to grow the heck up about a natural but gross bodily function.
(hi, also a mens)
not someone else
Dunno, I’ve never seen a guy willing to act squicked out at a broken bone or an action movie. There’s definitely some grossness about any bodily function, but the level of preciousness some guys have is a bit much.
Dr. Sharks
What? Who isn’t squicked out by broken bones? I’m squicked out by broken bones! Things aren’t supposed to bend there, man!
thejeff
To be fair, different things squick people out differently. Needles freak me out, but more serious injuries with far more blood don’t.
The thing about menstruation is different though. Those are visceral reactions to actually seeing blood or shots or something. The reaction to menstruation is to even casual reference to it.
No one gets that for other injuries. Nothing like “I cut myself yesterday.” “Oh god don’t talk about that, it’s disgusting.”
Just Karen
Not having a period is one of the few things I like about being trans. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to, but it smells different to me, and the smell triggers a nausea response in me.
Which is really weird to me, as I like the smell of regular blood.
Z
Menstrual blood isn’t just blood. It’s mixed with cervical mucus and other dead tissues sloughing off. I seem to have extra thick cervical gunk so my periods look like a long string of red slime that occasionally has chunks in it. Ain’t nobody gonna think that’s regular blood.
Menstrual blood smells like road kill to me. I used to collect and clean bones from it so that’s a genuine comparison.
If you ever have to deal with bleeding again- I strongly encourage you to look into a menstrual cup. For real. They last for years, and are safe to use in any mens’ restroom because you just dump out the blood and wipe it off- you don’t have to worry about discreetly disposing of anything. Plus you can forget that it’s in.
KJ
Yea actually this is completely valid. I knew someone I high school that had to go on birth control so she wouldn’t pass out at the sight of her own blood.
El Chupacabre
People get squicked out by different things and aren’t all used to the same things, but if you change the period mention to an expression of pain from a wound and realize that as a father he should get over his shit and show some sympathy for his daughter, that’s a sign that he should get over his shit and show some sympathy to his daughter.
Nymphie
My dad grew up in a place where they show you how to butcher a sheep in kindergarden (and get some blood home to make black pudding!), and you still kill whales on the beach where blood just spreads, unlike how it can go in a drain at a slaughterhouse. He knows how to gut and clean an animal. My dad is not the squeamish type when it comes to gore.
But uteruses? They can’t be frickin mentioned. My stepmom had to slap his arm because he did the whole show when my older sister went into surgery for a myoma, and the whole thing was extremely stressful for her because of said myoma made it impossible for her to concieve.
He’s weak. At least when it comes to that.
JaneDoe
Heck, my dad gets uncomfortable when my sister and I talk about shaving our freaking legs, never mind actually talking about menstruation!
And that shows a lot. It’s not a matter of being squicked out by blood. It’s a matter of discomfort with anything that interferes with the idealization of femininity.
Taken to extremes, this is the mindset that accuses women of being deceitful manipulators for wearing makeup.
Genie
I remember when I was about 15, travelling with my family on vacation to another country where the language was different, but many people spoke English – and I needed menstrual supplies. My dad came with me into the store, and I asked the guy behind the counter where they were, and what the difference was between the types (since I couldn’t read the packaging). After we left, my dad let out the laughter he’d been suppressing over how uncomfortable the clerk was – I hadn’t even noticed!
For real, I have a lot more respect for Jacob’s upbringing right now that he didn’t bat an eye at this. He’s young enough that he may not have had many longterm girlfriends and I know grown ass adults who’ve been dating women for decades and still get squeamish about the thought of lady times.
Yeah but we’re still better off with the wrong kind than with nothing at all.
He Who Abides
Really? Because I got the box thrown at me for getting “the wrong ones”.
Seriously, either have a picture ready, or write down your exact requirements IN EXACT DETAILS. Do not blame me for not knowing exactly what you need when I’ve never had to get them before.
Geneseepaws
Don’t be the guy getting the box thrown at him. Go to the recycle-bin, get the old box out and tear the boxtop off, to take with you. Beware the arm of the box-thrower.
Liquid Len
That will work until the packaging is changed on the product. Sometimes this even pisses off my wife because then *she* can’t find the right ones!
Bicycle Bill
Always cut off the end of the box with the UPC code. Even if the package changes shape, colors, or illustrations (or all three!), the UPC code will remain the same.
Seregiel
I hope you didn’t stay with the person blaming you for not mind reading?
Clif
You haven’t had a lot of romantic partners have you? Best scenario is that they understand that you couldn’t possibly have read their mind but are still pissed off. Humans, you know?
Mopey
Thrown objects are still a big damn red flag, no matter how many partners you’ve had. It still shows poor self-control and at best and an impulse to inflict physical and/or emotional harm. And, speaking from my own experience, neither you or they really have any idea if it’ll escalate from small stuff to things that might actually hurt you until afterwards.
Mopey
“poor self-control at best”*
HeySo
To add to that perspective:
It’s like trying to justify jealousy. It just can’t be done. Sure, some people find it appealing (as it satisfies their own insecurities, in a bizarre situation reminiscent of codependency), but inherently it’s entirely negative and toxic with no redeeming factors. Underlying possessiveness could perhaps be excused, as that could be considered the foundation for positive elements such as protectiveness, but jealousy itself is based entirely in insecurities and a severely immature emotional and psychological state. It’s as bad a trait as, say, overindulging in alcohol. In small doses and with minor levels of presentation, it’s a minor character flaw, but at a certain point of severity it becomes a disorder which needs to be addressed.
In short, if you’re excusing a behavior of that sort, regardless of the form that behavior takes, you’re still in a relationship with toxic elements.
Flip side, that toxicity may never cross certain critical boundaries, and it may be overshadowed completely by positive elements. We can’t say a relationship is “bad” solely off such a minor representation of it. That is to say, the trait itself is worrisome, because it’s indicative of someone with a poor mental state, but it doesn’t outright prove that such a mental state actually is pervasive within the individual’s other interactions.
In other words, Mopey and Seregiel, you’re correct that it’s a red flag and that He Who Abides needs to take an honest, outside-of-the-box look at his relationship to see if the behavior is indicative of a trend. Conversely, it’s not our place to “hope [He Who Abides] didn’t stay with the person blaming you for not mind reading”, since we can’t see the full picture, and the element in question is INDICATIVE of toxicity, rather than being much of a problem to deal with in and of itself. Heck, for all we know, He Who Abides may have an S&M fetish for the interaction, or the interaction may be a lot more charming than the impression we were given.
If there’s ever a pervasive trend or signs of escalation or signs of deliberate willingness to harm [without explicit consent] or so forth, then that’s a sign that the relationship (romantic or otherwise) is one that needs to be escaped from asap. This, as Mopey noted, is something we all learn, growing up (though, perhaps some people have been blessed with only positive, supportive, nurturing relationships. Such fortunes seem to be rather the priviledged rarities, however.)
Someone who takes the opposite approach, of repeatedly excusing abusive behaviors, has developed a self-destructive personality archetype and should seek immediate counseling, the same as anyone else engaging in self-destructive behaviors.
On the other hand, yes, there’s almost always going to be one or two (or more) annoying behaviors within any relationship. Since most people “settle” [in the sense that they don’t hold out for a “perfect” partner, not in the sense that their current partner is significantly lacking] for their romantic relationships, making them about as high in compatability as a typical intimate friendship, the “in sync” nature of “lifelong best friends”, “life partners”, or “close siblings” isn’t necessarily there. And, of course, even in those relationships, the rare argument or disagreement or mistake or whatnot is still to be expected.
So, yeah. While it’s important to keep an eye out for red flags, and to do so with honest eyes, it’s also reasonable to excuse the occasional flaw in a romantic partner (the same way you would with a close friend). Generally, you’re not going to have a romantic partner who is perfectly in-sync with you. Even if you’re that lucky, you can’t guarantee that you’ll never be in a situation where there’s something you’re not in-sync about. Moreover, when it comes to something like periods, there’s generally a bit of grace to be given (as far as the behaviors being self-contained and excusable by the context).
In conclusion, if this behavior isn’t severe, isn’t escalating, and isn’t a symptom of a trend, then it’s not actually a basis for breaking up the relationship. Conversely, if it’s any of those things, it very much is.
HeySo
That all said, if He Who Abides isn’t “into it”, he should very much say as much to his partner, and then, if she doesn’t take his feelings into consideration, very much reconsider how much respect he’s actually receiving from her.
That just doesn’t seem like the kind of behavior a healthy relationship would let sit idle without discussion and resolution.
Corey
Guess i hate to cut off my sister now because shes thrown a box and a shoe at me before. Also my niece. One time my friend got annoyed I got the wrong spice brand so I guess I should cut him off too.
Shit I threw my cats small stuffed animal at her before I should cut myself out of her life, time to isolate and cut all ties at any signs of anything negative because thats healthy and happy way to live because I am perfect and never do anything remotely “toxic” or have any “red flags”.
SillyGoose
Yeah that seems very unfair. I just can’t imagine doing that, in the context described and without a lot of other parameters going into it.
Of COURSE they will be the “wrong ones” bc what company keeps it exactly the same that long (and also, I get the wrong ones but can’t bring myself to throw them out)
KJ
yea, you weren’t the one at fault, there
Ryoko
if you do a favor for her and she throws the box at you for getting the wrong one you need to kick her ass to the curb.
Ron
I remember calling her “okay so this green package with white letters saying… The font is also green? Okay lookibg for that one now”. We do communication quite well. She was amazed by the fact that I would be willing to get her anything related to periods.
He Who Abides
Okay, so I see that there were a lot of responses to this comment, and after reading some of them I feel like I need to clarify the situation I referenced in my original post. The thrower I mentioned was one of my sisters (I have three), and after I’d given her some time to cool off, she ended up explaining what had set her off (tl;dr, romantic encounter gone terribly wrong due to horrific food poisoning). I accepted the answer and forgave her, and still do when she apologizes to this day (some 15-ish years after the fact). As for not checking the old packages, they had been recycled and I was young and slightly more stupid than I am now.
That said, I’m touched that people were concerned about whether or not I might have been in an abusive relationship. It’s the fact that you guys care about things like that which make this a great community to belong to, and I’m glad that y’all think of me as one of you. Thanks.
Sometimes being grown is all about attitude than actual physical maturity. In this case? He’s definitely far more of a grown man than many older guys. 😛
I knew someone who had reached adult maturity by about 11. I know others who haven’t reached it by their 70s and 80s.
If all you’re focusing on is numbers- or worse, unintended nuances to phrases with clear intentions (in this case, “adult” clearly means “of basic levels of maturity and experience”, rather than “not youthful”)- then you’re just avoiding approaching things in a straightforward and honest manner.
And while we’re into off-topic, I recomend The Paleoartist’s Handbook by Mark Witton himself, specially if you’re into drawing dinosaurs and other prehistoric critters
Yeah, there is something that has been bothering me about how the pterosaurs are depicted in media. They really need more visible muscle mass in the chest region to flap those huge wings, most artist’s depictions show even less muscle mass in that area than bats.
Paleoartist have a tendency to put too little soft tissue in general (it’s referred to as shrink wrapping)… IMO, the worst consistent cases are the heads of carnivores, which frequently show no sign of jaw muscles whatever.
I’m hearing the voice of Willis here. Growing up in a fundie community – and then getting out of it – and learning that portion of the facts of life must have felt revelatory.
I never understood men who claim to enjoy sex with women, yet know nothing about a woman’s anatomy and/or gets grossed out by their body parts and functions. Ooh, or those men who think every woman who gets ticked off at them is on their period.
The best way for guys to not think like that, honestly, is to grow up with women. I have never thought like that, and I suspect having 3 sisters around my age has a lot to do with it.
Tomn
I remember having a shouted conversation through a bathroom door in a hotel with my younger sister over which hole to put the tampon in when I was in high school. “Not the one where you pee from or poop from!” covered the gist of it.
As i mentioned in a comment above, my dad is one of those squeamish ones. He can ask me how im doing, i say anemic and tired, he asks why, i say im on my period, and i can’t even finish the sentence before he talks over me about that i dont need to go into details and lets just leave it.
I once got scolded by an groupchat moderator because me and another woman started talking about periods. We did so to try and derail a discussion some guys had about using your own feces as lubrication.
I don’t think the guys got chewed out. The groupchat moderator turned out later to be a MRA though. And was the owner of the swedish brony group
177 thoughts on “Diaper”
Ana Chronistic
GDI Joyce you made MY lady times show up
…ya know, Jakes, not being mystified or intimidated by it doesn’t magically make it NOT A TERRIBLE MESS
JetstreamGW
I’d be more sympathetic to that if it wasn’t obviously a transparent ploy by Joyce to avoid the conversation that she needs to have now 😛
Ana Chronistic
(thought I should make it clear that yes I know it’s an obvious bluff but the retort just makes it sound like “JUST BLEED IN YOUR SEAT”)
TemporalShrew
One can only assume that she said it with the least convincing possible tone, and that behind that last panel she’s making one of her unbelievably, cartoonishly guilty faces.
DailyBrad
At the very least, I think Jacob’s spent enough time around her to pick up on some of her tells.
T Campbell
I s’pect she’s hoping that just mentioning menstruation to Jacob, a guy, will get him so flustered and squicked that he’ll be too scrambled to see through her ruse.
And kudos to him for seeing through it, but my God, how I wish that real, inarguably grown men, let alone 17-19-year-old boys, didn’t have that weird superstitious aversion Joyce was counting on. Jacob is more the exception that proves the rule here, in my experience.
brute
^^^ this comment is how i feel but with better wording than i could muster
Nymphie
My father, who is in his fifties, has three daughters, squicks out like hell if i just mention being on my period. He absolutely panics and dont want any details and gets upset with me if i try to continue on the topic. Even if it just was that he was asking me how im doing and i try to explain to him why the hell im anemic or exhausted.
Massive kudos to Jacob
Axel
men are weak
Axel
before someone gets pissy, I’m a men
Axel
second disclaimer, this isn’t an excuse for men to act badly. it’s just an insult.
Felian
that’s the best and worst disclaimer i have heard ;D
Portland
Every single time I’ve bought a bra at a department store from a male cashier, something has gone wrong. I’ve accidentally shoplifted bras twice because the man didn’t want to touch it enough to ring it up. Just last week, I got charged but he didn’t take the anti-theft chip off. If these men are attracted to women, I shudder to think what their sex lives must be like.
Librain
You would think that working in such a store would mean you come up against this sort of requirement far too often to still be weird about it.
I mean, if it was someone you know then maybe it might be weird seeing them buy underwear, but otherwise just handle it like any other clothing and move on.
As for their sex life though – it’s completely different when they know they are allowed to touch it. At work they don’t want to come off creepy so are extra cautious about it (which I’m guessing usually works exactly how they don’t intend it to).
begbert2
To be entirely fair to your weak father, you’re talking about copious bleeding from a body part. You’re not squicked out because you’re (by necessity) used to it. I don’t even like watching them put in the needle to draw my blood. The notion of having my body up and deciding to playact being a trauma victim is reason #85 I’m glad I’m not a woman. (Most of the others being how women get treated like shit.)
James
No, it really is just that men need to grow the heck up about a natural but gross bodily function.
(hi, also a mens)
not someone else
Dunno, I’ve never seen a guy willing to act squicked out at a broken bone or an action movie. There’s definitely some grossness about any bodily function, but the level of preciousness some guys have is a bit much.
Dr. Sharks
What? Who isn’t squicked out by broken bones? I’m squicked out by broken bones! Things aren’t supposed to bend there, man!
thejeff
To be fair, different things squick people out differently. Needles freak me out, but more serious injuries with far more blood don’t.
The thing about menstruation is different though. Those are visceral reactions to actually seeing blood or shots or something. The reaction to menstruation is to even casual reference to it.
No one gets that for other injuries. Nothing like “I cut myself yesterday.” “Oh god don’t talk about that, it’s disgusting.”
Just Karen
Not having a period is one of the few things I like about being trans. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to, but it smells different to me, and the smell triggers a nausea response in me.
Which is really weird to me, as I like the smell of regular blood.
Z
Menstrual blood isn’t just blood. It’s mixed with cervical mucus and other dead tissues sloughing off. I seem to have extra thick cervical gunk so my periods look like a long string of red slime that occasionally has chunks in it. Ain’t nobody gonna think that’s regular blood.
Menstrual blood smells like road kill to me. I used to collect and clean bones from it so that’s a genuine comparison.
If you ever have to deal with bleeding again- I strongly encourage you to look into a menstrual cup. For real. They last for years, and are safe to use in any mens’ restroom because you just dump out the blood and wipe it off- you don’t have to worry about discreetly disposing of anything. Plus you can forget that it’s in.
KJ
Yea actually this is completely valid. I knew someone I high school that had to go on birth control so she wouldn’t pass out at the sight of her own blood.
El Chupacabre
People get squicked out by different things and aren’t all used to the same things, but if you change the period mention to an expression of pain from a wound and realize that as a father he should get over his shit and show some sympathy for his daughter, that’s a sign that he should get over his shit and show some sympathy to his daughter.
Nymphie
My dad grew up in a place where they show you how to butcher a sheep in kindergarden (and get some blood home to make black pudding!), and you still kill whales on the beach where blood just spreads, unlike how it can go in a drain at a slaughterhouse. He knows how to gut and clean an animal. My dad is not the squeamish type when it comes to gore.
But uteruses? They can’t be frickin mentioned. My stepmom had to slap his arm because he did the whole show when my older sister went into surgery for a myoma, and the whole thing was extremely stressful for her because of said myoma made it impossible for her to concieve.
He’s weak. At least when it comes to that.
JaneDoe
Heck, my dad gets uncomfortable when my sister and I talk about shaving our freaking legs, never mind actually talking about menstruation!
Carl Muckenhoupt
And that shows a lot. It’s not a matter of being squicked out by blood. It’s a matter of discomfort with anything that interferes with the idealization of femininity.
Taken to extremes, this is the mindset that accuses women of being deceitful manipulators for wearing makeup.
Genie
I remember when I was about 15, travelling with my family on vacation to another country where the language was different, but many people spoke English – and I needed menstrual supplies. My dad came with me into the store, and I asked the guy behind the counter where they were, and what the difference was between the types (since I couldn’t read the packaging). After we left, my dad let out the laughter he’d been suppressing over how uncomfortable the clerk was – I hadn’t even noticed!
Z
For real, I have a lot more respect for Jacob’s upbringing right now that he didn’t bat an eye at this. He’s young enough that he may not have had many longterm girlfriends and I know grown ass adults who’ve been dating women for decades and still get squeamish about the thought of lady times.
Plasma Mongoose
If she bleeds, she leaves.
DemonChickenOfDoom
Mind telling me where you got that image of Lapis?
Needfuldoer
I don’t have a problem until I’m asked to pick up supplies without a photo of the right one’s packaging. I will get it wrong!
SillyGoose
Yeah but we’re still better off with the wrong kind than with nothing at all.
He Who Abides
Really? Because I got the box thrown at me for getting “the wrong ones”.
Seriously, either have a picture ready, or write down your exact requirements IN EXACT DETAILS. Do not blame me for not knowing exactly what you need when I’ve never had to get them before.
Geneseepaws
Don’t be the guy getting the box thrown at him. Go to the recycle-bin, get the old box out and tear the boxtop off, to take with you. Beware the arm of the box-thrower.
Liquid Len
That will work until the packaging is changed on the product. Sometimes this even pisses off my wife because then *she* can’t find the right ones!
Bicycle Bill
Always cut off the end of the box with the UPC code. Even if the package changes shape, colors, or illustrations (or all three!), the UPC code will remain the same.
Seregiel
I hope you didn’t stay with the person blaming you for not mind reading?
Clif
You haven’t had a lot of romantic partners have you? Best scenario is that they understand that you couldn’t possibly have read their mind but are still pissed off. Humans, you know?
Mopey
Thrown objects are still a big damn red flag, no matter how many partners you’ve had. It still shows poor self-control and at best and an impulse to inflict physical and/or emotional harm. And, speaking from my own experience, neither you or they really have any idea if it’ll escalate from small stuff to things that might actually hurt you until afterwards.
Mopey
“poor self-control at best”*
HeySo
To add to that perspective:
It’s like trying to justify jealousy. It just can’t be done. Sure, some people find it appealing (as it satisfies their own insecurities, in a bizarre situation reminiscent of codependency), but inherently it’s entirely negative and toxic with no redeeming factors. Underlying possessiveness could perhaps be excused, as that could be considered the foundation for positive elements such as protectiveness, but jealousy itself is based entirely in insecurities and a severely immature emotional and psychological state. It’s as bad a trait as, say, overindulging in alcohol. In small doses and with minor levels of presentation, it’s a minor character flaw, but at a certain point of severity it becomes a disorder which needs to be addressed.
In short, if you’re excusing a behavior of that sort, regardless of the form that behavior takes, you’re still in a relationship with toxic elements.
Flip side, that toxicity may never cross certain critical boundaries, and it may be overshadowed completely by positive elements. We can’t say a relationship is “bad” solely off such a minor representation of it. That is to say, the trait itself is worrisome, because it’s indicative of someone with a poor mental state, but it doesn’t outright prove that such a mental state actually is pervasive within the individual’s other interactions.
In other words, Mopey and Seregiel, you’re correct that it’s a red flag and that He Who Abides needs to take an honest, outside-of-the-box look at his relationship to see if the behavior is indicative of a trend. Conversely, it’s not our place to “hope [He Who Abides] didn’t stay with the person blaming you for not mind reading”, since we can’t see the full picture, and the element in question is INDICATIVE of toxicity, rather than being much of a problem to deal with in and of itself. Heck, for all we know, He Who Abides may have an S&M fetish for the interaction, or the interaction may be a lot more charming than the impression we were given.
If there’s ever a pervasive trend or signs of escalation or signs of deliberate willingness to harm [without explicit consent] or so forth, then that’s a sign that the relationship (romantic or otherwise) is one that needs to be escaped from asap. This, as Mopey noted, is something we all learn, growing up (though, perhaps some people have been blessed with only positive, supportive, nurturing relationships. Such fortunes seem to be rather the priviledged rarities, however.)
Someone who takes the opposite approach, of repeatedly excusing abusive behaviors, has developed a self-destructive personality archetype and should seek immediate counseling, the same as anyone else engaging in self-destructive behaviors.
On the other hand, yes, there’s almost always going to be one or two (or more) annoying behaviors within any relationship. Since most people “settle” [in the sense that they don’t hold out for a “perfect” partner, not in the sense that their current partner is significantly lacking] for their romantic relationships, making them about as high in compatability as a typical intimate friendship, the “in sync” nature of “lifelong best friends”, “life partners”, or “close siblings” isn’t necessarily there. And, of course, even in those relationships, the rare argument or disagreement or mistake or whatnot is still to be expected.
So, yeah. While it’s important to keep an eye out for red flags, and to do so with honest eyes, it’s also reasonable to excuse the occasional flaw in a romantic partner (the same way you would with a close friend). Generally, you’re not going to have a romantic partner who is perfectly in-sync with you. Even if you’re that lucky, you can’t guarantee that you’ll never be in a situation where there’s something you’re not in-sync about. Moreover, when it comes to something like periods, there’s generally a bit of grace to be given (as far as the behaviors being self-contained and excusable by the context).
In conclusion, if this behavior isn’t severe, isn’t escalating, and isn’t a symptom of a trend, then it’s not actually a basis for breaking up the relationship. Conversely, if it’s any of those things, it very much is.
HeySo
That all said, if He Who Abides isn’t “into it”, he should very much say as much to his partner, and then, if she doesn’t take his feelings into consideration, very much reconsider how much respect he’s actually receiving from her.
That just doesn’t seem like the kind of behavior a healthy relationship would let sit idle without discussion and resolution.
Corey
Guess i hate to cut off my sister now because shes thrown a box and a shoe at me before. Also my niece. One time my friend got annoyed I got the wrong spice brand so I guess I should cut him off too.
Shit I threw my cats small stuffed animal at her before I should cut myself out of her life, time to isolate and cut all ties at any signs of anything negative because thats healthy and happy way to live because I am perfect and never do anything remotely “toxic” or have any “red flags”.
SillyGoose
Yeah that seems very unfair. I just can’t imagine doing that, in the context described and without a lot of other parameters going into it.
Ana Chronistic
I buy them once every two years
Of COURSE they will be the “wrong ones” bc what company keeps it exactly the same that long (and also, I get the wrong ones but can’t bring myself to throw them out)
KJ
yea, you weren’t the one at fault, there
Ryoko
if you do a favor for her and she throws the box at you for getting the wrong one you need to kick her ass to the curb.
Ron
I remember calling her “okay so this green package with white letters saying… The font is also green? Okay lookibg for that one now”. We do communication quite well. She was amazed by the fact that I would be willing to get her anything related to periods.
He Who Abides
Okay, so I see that there were a lot of responses to this comment, and after reading some of them I feel like I need to clarify the situation I referenced in my original post. The thrower I mentioned was one of my sisters (I have three), and after I’d given her some time to cool off, she ended up explaining what had set her off (tl;dr, romantic encounter gone terribly wrong due to horrific food poisoning). I accepted the answer and forgave her, and still do when she apologizes to this day (some 15-ish years after the fact). As for not checking the old packages, they had been recycled and I was young and slightly more stupid than I am now.
That said, I’m touched that people were concerned about whether or not I might have been in an abusive relationship. It’s the fact that you guys care about things like that which make this a great community to belong to, and I’m glad that y’all think of me as one of you. Thanks.
butts
galasso’s face in that first panel reminds me a bit of roadblock
butts
“Little man Harrison, give me dough, all shall tremble before Galasso”
Nono
Jacob you’re 17/18, I don’t consider you grown yet.
Madock345
That sounds like a you problem
Aletheia
Sometimes being grown is all about attitude than actual physical maturity. In this case? He’s definitely far more of a grown man than many older guys. 😛
Opus the Poet
I believe that Word of God is everyone in the dorm is at least 18, and Dina is 19.
HeySo
I knew someone who had reached adult maturity by about 11. I know others who haven’t reached it by their 70s and 80s.
If all you’re focusing on is numbers- or worse, unintended nuances to phrases with clear intentions (in this case, “adult” clearly means “of basic levels of maturity and experience”, rather than “not youthful”)- then you’re just avoiding approaching things in a straightforward and honest manner.
Stephen Bierce
*plays Klymaxx’s “Meeting In The Ladies’ Room” on the jukebox*
ValdVin
Joyce, you’ve never tried that move to escape anyone, have you?
Dean
I expect that either she has used it before successfully or has seen others do so.
Paradoxius
There are exactly zero males in her hometown whom that would not work on.
PHNX
*Waves my zippo in the air from side to side*
Rock on, Jacob. Rock on!
(Totally not hearkening back to a ‘discussion’ I had with a lady friend recently!)
Bagge
Jamie!!!!
Derek
Not related to today’s comic, but found an article Dina would like
https://markwitton-com.blogspot.com/2018/05/why-we-think-giant-pterosaurs-could-fly.html?m=1
AGV
Read it a while back
It’s a very interesting article
And while we’re into off-topic, I recomend The Paleoartist’s Handbook by Mark Witton himself, specially if you’re into drawing dinosaurs and other prehistoric critters
Opus the Poet
Yeah, there is something that has been bothering me about how the pterosaurs are depicted in media. They really need more visible muscle mass in the chest region to flap those huge wings, most artist’s depictions show even less muscle mass in that area than bats.
Kamino Neko
Paleoartist have a tendency to put too little soft tissue in general (it’s referred to as shrink wrapping)… IMO, the worst consistent cases are the heads of carnivores, which frequently show no sign of jaw muscles whatever.
BBCC
I wish I wasn’t impressed by that, but I know men older than Jacob who act like squeamish weenies about periods, so good job, Jacob.
Joyce, don’t try to weasel out of this. I am hoping for catharsis here.
Bathymetheus
I’m hearing the voice of Willis here. Growing up in a fundie community – and then getting out of it – and learning that portion of the facts of life must have felt revelatory.
Jade
The bar is set pretty low, isn’t it 😛
I never understood men who claim to enjoy sex with women, yet know nothing about a woman’s anatomy and/or gets grossed out by their body parts and functions. Ooh, or those men who think every woman who gets ticked off at them is on their period.
Better stop before I get into a rant 😛
He Who Abides
The best way for guys to not think like that, honestly, is to grow up with women. I have never thought like that, and I suspect having 3 sisters around my age has a lot to do with it.
Tomn
I remember having a shouted conversation through a bathroom door in a hotel with my younger sister over which hole to put the tampon in when I was in high school. “Not the one where you pee from or poop from!” covered the gist of it.
Nymphie
As i mentioned in a comment above, my dad is one of those squeamish ones. He can ask me how im doing, i say anemic and tired, he asks why, i say im on my period, and i can’t even finish the sentence before he talks over me about that i dont need to go into details and lets just leave it.
I once got scolded by an groupchat moderator because me and another woman started talking about periods. We did so to try and derail a discussion some guys had about using your own feces as lubrication.
I don’t think the guys got chewed out. The groupchat moderator turned out later to be a MRA though. And was the owner of the swedish brony group
SillyGoose
I’m scared of googling “Swedish brony” yet intrigued.
Nymphie
Eh, haven’t been in that community for years. Might be less of a trashfire by now