183

Don’t touch
Posted on October 31, 2024 by David M Willis

183 thoughts on “Don’t touch”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    I was gonna ask, why isn’t Joyce STILL touching it, but maybe the answer is in the question

    1. AbacusWizard

      Because she had to go brag about it as soon as possible?

      1. Rose by Any other Name

        I’m pretty sure the answer is “because Joe came and Joyce immediately went to ask Sarah what to do next.”

        Clearly Dorothy needs to be more precise in her instructions.

        1. Michael Steamweed

          Poor Joe; no post-orgasm cuddles. His girlfriend ditched him immediately just to get some habitual social validation.

      2. Freemage

        In my headcannon, she got to her room so fast that Joe hasn’t had a chance to zip up yet.

  2. NGPZ

    Exotic Butters Intensifies….

    1. ktbear

      I am SO proud of Willis right now!

      1. saltchocolate

        Whoa—insane! Willis, the machine

  3. elfroyalty

    well i guess that answers whether the job was good or not, huh!

    1. Rose by Any other Name

      Indeed.
      I am still wondering how Joyce ONLY got it on her hand, though. Typically, it doesn’t stay put that well.
      Also, how she was able to get dressed again with only one hand. And yes, while it is possible fully clothed, it isn’t very fun that way.

      1. Michael Steamweed

        Possibly she never undressed. Public space, after all.

        (joe, on the other hand…)

        ((or should i say ‘joe, with the other hand…))

      2. elfroyalty

        since this was impromptu and joyce is still working through some stuff, i wouldn’t be surprised if they were both still mostly clothed, joe with his pants down a little bit and maybe joyce’s vest a little less done for better boob access. mostly i’m just surprised she managed to finish him on her first try! proud of her 🙂

      3. CardinalFan

        Joe could be a dribbler?

  4. Alongcameaspider

    Well we finally found something that can break Sarah out of the forced cheerfulness she’s been putting on

    1. Dante

      She tried so hard!!!

      Joe was just harder.

      1. Opus the Poet

        ?+1

      2. Darkoneko

        Probably not anymore. Joyce made sure of that

    2. Rabid Rabbit

      Sarah’s cheerfulness was no match for the sight of Joe’s cheer-juice.

      And I am now going to go wash my mouth out with soap, since I can’t do so to my brain.

      I do not, however, regret inflicting this on anyone.

      1. tyersome

        I have to hand it to you — that puts an interesting twist onto “head cheerleader” …

        1. Rabid Rabbit

          Oh, I’m sure Jennifer could tell you all about that.

          Or at least Billie could have, if her mouth wasn’t full.

    3. Pylgrim

      In fairness, she lasted until bedtime even though she was exposed to several different things that would have made her snap before.

  5. Dante

    Sarah’s face is the funniest thing I’ve seen sdglsjkdg

    1. Schpoonman

      I’ve seen a lot of humor disparaged as “just weird faces” but the right weird face is one of the funniest things in the world.

    2. Coatl

      At that moment….Sarah saw the true terror hahaha

    3. mindbleach

      Full-on King Crimson.

      1. Schpoonman

        That’s it!

      2. Opus the Poet

        Well maybe The King Biscuit Flower Hour. And if you recognized that, you are officially An Old.

      3. Dante

        Requiem for a Sarah.

        She’s gonna re-live this over and over, methinks

    4. Kaz

      Needs to be a new random avatar lol

  6. shadowcell

    joyce walks in with a cup of joe in hand

    1. True Survivor

      Eww… Great pun, but ewwwww

    2. Qube

      thanks, I hate it

    3. Dday

      nice

    4. JA

      Ok, I laughed, but I hate you.

    5. Bryy

      *polite claps*

    6. Nymph

      Take your points and get out lmfao

  7. Sirksome

    Forever unclean!…Until you wash with soap. I like Dial.

    1. Opus the Poet

      I prefer Palmolive Anti-Bacterial Dish Detergent. I use it on everything below my chin.

    2. anon

      Makes me wonder if there’s one detergent that advertises “removes THOSE kinda stains” that caters to moms buying cleaning products for bedsheets of them having teenage boys in puberty XD;

      1. jflb96

        You can prevent those stains almost entirely by just providing a steady stream of bog roll and not asking questions

    3. Zaxares

      I… cannot write the comment I want to make without getting banned, I’m sure. XD

      1. anon

        i’m sure it’s fine as long as you don’t like get reported but i don’t think willis cares as long as you follow the rules/ are respectful b/c i’m sure ppl have said dirty jokes on here before lol

      2. Taffy

        Do it, coward.

  8. Amós Batista

    Joyce’s face yesterday.
    Sarah’s horror face in third panel today.

  9. cmasta1992

    Welcome back Real Sarah

    1. Coatl

      true

    2. Qube

      she held out surprisingly well, considering

    3. anon

      she’s probably not gonna smile again for another month or at least death glare at joe next itme lol

  10. Coatl

    Hahaha, that terrified expression on Sarah’s face in the third panel.

    Yup, time to buy a new toothbrush.

  11. Schpoonman

    Not beating the “Touched Joe for half a second before immediately running to tell Sarah,” allegations there, Joyce.

    1. Schpoonman

      There’s an “I’m so fucked up,” joke to be made but I don’t want to bother right now.

    2. Nono

      Joe is just standing there in the kitchen with his wang out waiting for Joyce to come back.

    3. Schpoonman

      I saw the tag was now changed and oh wow she definitely did. In my defense I was very half-awake when I first read the comic.

      1. Michael Steamweed

        I just noticed the tags too. First thought: But Joe’s not there. Second thought: Oh, wait…

        😀

    4. Gigafreak

      She can’t beat the allegations because she was busy beating off something else

      1. Gigafreak

        Or is this more that she managed to beat two things at once, singlehandedly?

  12. NGPZ

    Happy Halloween everyone!!!

    Got any plans? Even if that is just chillin out! ^^ <#

    1. Yumi

      Will be carving a pumpkin. Looking forward to trick-or-treaters– the school district I’m in has the day off on Halloween AND November 1st this year, so I hope that means plenty of kids going around the neighborhood. We have candy, toys, and potatoes to offer.

    2. True Survivor

      Happy Halloween! I have a lot of work to do during the day – I figure Halloween is good day to face my fears and start doing some of the tasks I have been procrastinating for far far too long.

      I am excited for the night though – I am running the door for my parents this year. I got this plastic skeleton by the door which I dressed up in in a plaid button down shirt and blue jeans. When the kids ask for candy I will unfortunately have to tell them that my friend ate it all before all that candy killed him, but they can still fish the candy out of his guts!!! (I will then open the bottom part of the shirt to show where I have filled the pants with candy and red twirlers for the intestines).

      What are your plans?

    3. Thag Simmons

      Plan is for a pretty chill Halloween. Been meaning to watch Over the Garden Wall, might have to hand out some candy but the trick-or-treating is pretty sleepy out here.

    4. Doopyboop

      I’m gonna chill, maybe order a pizza, and re-watch Trick R Treat, my favorite lil Halloween movie.

    5. Bryy

      Watching movies at night, handing out candy, DRAGON AGE.

    6. Mark

      Listening for Trick-or-Treat-ers that never come, while watching It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! and Nightmare before Christmas.

    7. Deanatay

      Wearing my costume to work Happy Halloween everyone!!

    8. Needfuldoer

      Raking leaves and hiding from trick-or-treaters by leaving the porch light off.

      1. thejeff

        Oh. Is that why I don’t get trick-or-treaters?

  13. Nick Piers

    Oh my giddy aunt, Sarah’s expression in panel 3 is killing me. It’s 1 am right now and I need to sleep, but I’m laughing too hard.

    1. Dante

      Kimochi Warui

      1. Dante

        sdljgk this was for Amos downstairs, sorry

        BUT STILL

  14. Amós Batista

    Alt-text: Yes, it’s the End of Evangelion for Joyce.

    1. Clif

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2024/comic/book-15/01-love-dares-you-to-change/touched-2/#comment-1830637

      1. Sajuuk-Khar

        I know
        I know I’ve let you down
        I’ve been a fool to myself

    2. Opus the Poet

      I understood this reference dot gif.

  15. Jeremiah

    All the the repressed bitterness aged Sarah 40 years in a second.

  16. MickeeC

    AND she’s back, thank Rao.

    1. Michael Steamweed

      Kara, Kal, and I understand that reference!

  17. Sirksome

    I’m gonna put this on Joe. He’s the one with experience. Very irresponsible to not clean up after himself and let his girl walk away with a handful of Rosenthal. Even if he was still in the afterglow. Do better Joe.

    1. Bleuryder

      Unless they were interrupted and there wasn’t time?

      1. Thag Simmons

        I wonder if there was any discussion after the touching or if Joyce immediately bolted

        1. Opus the Poet

          Yes, I think that was exactly what happened.

    2. Yumi

      Maybe he thought she was running off to wash her hand somewhere else. Maybe he was distracted by cleaning up the macaroni and cheese that got EVERYWHERE. Maybe the penis just happened to appear on Joyce’s way back and Joe had nothing to do with it.

      1. Sirksome

        The dingdong bandit has really escalated things.

        1. Clif

          +1

        2. Proxiehunter

          She’s so fucked up.

        3. Sajuuk-Khar

          Sarah really said “kimochi warui”

      2. Mark

        It’s a kitchen. There’s a sink right there.

        1. Yumi

          Yeah, doesn’t mean she might not want to wash somewhere else, theoretically– different soap or such.

    3. Ray Radlein

      How do we know there is any anything on her hand? Maybe it’s just a hand.

      1. Sajuuk-Khar

        Joe is tagged in the strip, my friend. That’s how we know.

        1. Ray Radlein

          ?

      2. Michael Steamweed

        We do not see the Joe. But Sarah in panel 3…she sees the Joe. 😀

    4. Proxiehunter

      Did she walk away with a handful of Joe or did she just touch it and run away? All sh3 said she did was touch it.

    5. anon

      Given how neurotic she is about other things , if she did run out, even if there’s a sink in the shared kitchen i would’ve thought that he would assume she ran off to also clean herself rather than ‘bragging’ to sarah

    6. Needfuldoer

      Maybe immediately after he finished, she teleported to Sarah because she was so excited she had to tell someone ASAP.

  18. Taffy

    YOUNG LADY!!

  19. AdamJ

    Sarah is probably VERY glad that she wasn’t pretending to be cheerful enough to go for a high-five.

  20. jeffepp

    A reminder that vibrating toothbrushes are readily available almost anywhere, at an affordable price.

    1. Clif

      Back before civilization we had to vibrate the toothbrushes ourselves.

      1. Needfuldoer

        And nickels had little pictures of bumblebees on ’em! “Gimme five bees for a quarter”, you’d say…

      2. Michael Steamweed

        In the snow. Up hill. Both ways. And we liked it!

        (well okay i didn’t like it…i’ll admit it.)

    2. Taffy

      Why?

    3. Nymph

      You shouldn’t buy vibrating toothbrushes. Bees are on the decline, and if we keep using them to fill our toothbrushes just for the buzzy sensation it’s going to be our fault when they go extinct.

      1. morleuca

        I mean, it’s pretty much always our fault when things go extinct. At least since the last big event.

        1. Mark

          How did species manage to get themselves extinguished before humans came long?

        2. Taffy

          Sometimes their predators got really hungry, sometimes they got really unlucky, and sometimes they were just… just so fucking stupid. Complete imbeciles.

  21. Golden Yak

    “Wait, whose was it?”
    “Joe’s!”
    “Nevermind soap, use fire.”

  22. Derek

    wow, I’m really a fan of Sarah’s face in panel 3, we’ve never seen that before

  23. AbacusWizard

    Totally saving the “so I should wash this?” panel for future use as a reaction image. “A reaction to what?” you ask. I dunno yet, but I’m sure I’ll think of something.

  24. Suet

    “Don’t touch anything else”? How can I wash my hands?!

    Still unsure if she did more than a Jam Handy

    1. Opus the Poet

      By using the other hand, silly.

  25. Derek

    TMI confession time: I’ve accidentally grabbed a video game controller after touching a penis sans washing hands because I wanted to pause the game to stop the music.
    I’m normally more Sarah-like in keeping penis activities separate from other stuff

    1. DailyBrad

      At least it’s pretty easy to wipe a controller down.

    2. anon

      well hopefully it wasn’t a shared controller or anything. or like, a younger sibling’s game XD

  26. Dday

    So wait is there cum in her hand or is Sarah just reacting to the idea of general dick essence

    1. DailyBrad

      Presumably wang hand, rather than jizz. Even in her euphoria, Joyce would probably not walk around all sticky-fingered.

      1. Dday

        Ok show of hands ?
        Who thinks its DNA and who thinks its general penisness?

        1. Taffy

          A penis is not inherently dirty. You can touch it without needing to wash your hands, unless we suddenly have to do that after touching literally any body part. And that would just be stupid. We’d be washing all day and never have time for anything else.

        2. pickonecard

          the end of Eva joke all but confirms joe did finish

        3. Schpoonman

          Joe is tagged, so, uh.

        4. Dday

          lol I didn’t catch that, ok that settles it for me

        5. Michael Steamweed

          Joyce’s hand didn’t get that close to Sarah, to freak Sarah out. Sarah saw something on Joyce’s hand to freak her out. Specifically, Sarah saw a small quantity of Joe on Joyce’s hand. Thus the Sarah freak-out for the ages.

        6. morleuca

          There’s the possibility this was over‐clothing contact.

    2. Shakes

      I like the ambiguity of the strip.

      Schroedinger’s baby butter.

    3. Icalasari

      Joe IS tagged in today’s strip…

    4. Pylgrim

      All I will say is that if Joe gets disintegrated like Walky in IW, Joyce would be able to get a clone body for him as well.

  27. Pan

    Aw, man. Can we get that Sarah face without Joyce slightly in the way please?

    1. Clif

      Quick, someone photoshop it with Joyce even more in the way.

      1. Clif

        Or you could try using AI to remove Joyce I guess.

        1. Dante

          Please don’t.

    2. anon

      https://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/post/765825437681188864/hi-can-we-get-panel-3-of-dont-touch-10312024 the tumblr has a slightly more zoomed in ver of it at least

    3. Pergola

      Cut the features from panel 3 Sarah and paste them onto panel 1 Sarah. Easy.

  28. BBCC

    That’s probably for the best, Sarah.

  29. IntangibleMatter

    Sarah looks more terrified than some people who are about to be killed in horror movies

    1. anon

      I mean, i wouldn’t want a roommates hand to stay unsterilized after learning what happened lol

  30. anon

    She finally un-did er smile 8D;

    1. NGPZ

      she passed on the curse maybe?

      1. anon

        tbf her fake? smile was more self inflicted or so but i wouldn’t think joyce getting to 2nd? based with joe woudl be that ‘cursed’ lol

        1. NGPZ

          it’s a reference to Smile the horror movie, which got a sequel very recently

        2. anon

          oh i see, i haven’t rly kept up with too many horror movie, tho i do like horror manga bc the visuals odn’t necessarily jump scare you (tho i think there have been some that have had their pages turned to gifs lol)

          But that would be hilarious if some negative aspects of a cast member’s life kept passing between the group

  31. Bryy

    HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. Mr. Random

    Just to be clear, was it a handjob or did they just sorta grope each other?

    1. Rotunda

      As Sajuuk-Khar points out, Joe is tagged in the strip. Draw your own conclusions.

    2. Michael Steamweed

      Joyce’s hair is mussed up. I conclude they’d been going at…it…for some time. And knowing Joyce, she deliberately manipulated (seewhatididthere) Joe into orgasm.

  33. Chris

    I didn’t quite get what the joke was for about 20 seconds

    Then it came to me.

    1. Michael Steamweed

      You just throwin’ that out there?

      https://www.etymonline.com/word/ejaculate

  34. CianM1301

    The curse is lifted! It’s a Halloween miracle!

    1. Michael Steamweed

      Joyce is so good for her big sister. 😀

  35. Sajuuk-Khar

    Everyone who doubts that Joyce finished her onboarding session:

    Joe is tagged in the strip, now ain’t he? ?

    1. Dante

      … oh my god. You’re right.

      Holy shit sdlkgjs

    2. Amós Batista

      oh noes

    3. Felian

      OH GOTH HE IS

      Now, does that mean we can conclude that every previous time people had sex and weren’t tagged on their partners’ skin, those people actually washed after the sex? That would be very comforting to know.

  36. Darkseide

    wash it with fire!

  37. Shakes

    Well this answers the burning question of whether bodily fluids count as a character appearance.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Blood stains count, so why not?

  38. Ziggy

    Ah, there she is! Knew it was only a matter of time until Sarah cracked.

  39. Stephen Nedland

    This is the, “Dumbing of Age”, equivalent to, “I’ll be in my bunk”.

    1. Nymph

      You think Sarah’s going to masturbate about this? I have doubts.

  40. Darkoneko

    ….oh founder. Did she just immediately run and left a very confused Joe’in there

    1. Michael Steamweed

      Poor guy! She finishes him off and she immediately runs off to tell someone. Like, no post-orgasm cuddles. Just callously used like that. So sad.

      1. Sajuuk-Khar

        The cad! The callous vixen! The cruelest of dames!!

  41. SvenTS

    Well at least newSarah hadn’t tried to give her a high five….

  42. Michael Steamweed

    Sarah, you’re showing your “eww cooties!” reaction something fierce.

    1. CianM1301

      Considering the circumstances, I’d say that’s an apt reaction.

  43. Amós Batista

    As usual, Joe took Sarah’s smile again.

  44. CombustibleLemons

    happy halloween! Sarah is certainly experiencing some horror right now

  45. Yeet

    it’s not like she grabbed the toothbrush or something and cooties can’t be transmitted by proximity

    1. anon

      well, hopefully there’s a student store or so like how hotels have extra amenities or so versus going all the way to a groceyr store (unelss their convneience store nearby has some, like the one liz and joe went to that one time although i think at the one i’ve been to i’ve seen mouthwash but surprisingly no toothbrush)

  46. Van Jealous

    “I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hand” (With apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein….and maybe Mitzi Gaynor).

  47. Astariel

    I was wondering why Joyce ran to tell Sarah first rather than Dorothy, but that face in panel 3 fully justifies it.

  48. BassBone

    The real question, though, is did they get to eat the mac and cheese?

  49. TheKelliestKelly

    I can’t believe it’s not butter!

  50. EpochFlame

    the fact this counts as a joe appearance in tags is hilarious

  51. Lysbeth

    Tipping my hat to the subtlety of not drawing anything but adding Joe to the tags. On Hallowe’en, because it’s ectoplasm. Joe is dead.

  52. Charles Phipps

    I wasn’t even clear that Joyce’s penis touching had ended beyond the actual touching part to the “finishing” part.

    I would have thought she’d have chlorox wipes and radiation for when that happened.

  53. Paul1963

    Sarah’s face in panel 3! 😀 😀 😀

  54. nicoleandmaggie

    I’m impressed Sarah lasted that long. And going to bed is a great decision.

  55. ESM

    Oh my god, I thought the joke was just “Joyce touched a penis and Sarah is over-reacting” and then I read the comments and she’s Shinji’d

  56. Kazuma Taichi

    It took the hovertext for me to realize why Sarah’s expression was so visceral

  57. AlexanderHammil

    I hate that Joe is tagged in this strip

    1. Dday

      You’ll note that the Joe tag wasn’t there yesterday, when she hadn’t opened her hand yet.

  58. Rectilinear Propagation

    WAIT, I MIGHT HAVE TO CHANGE MY AVATAR AGAIN, HAHAHAHAHA!

  59. Amós Batista

    I want to see the old version of this strip

  60. Roborat

    That last panel, and the nature of the strip, made me think of Firefly: “I will be in my bunk”.

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