I think prom as a concept was only a big deal in movies. I remember my prom which was over a decade ago mind you, being really boring. I remember drinking lots of free soda then me and my two friends and a small group of others went bowling at the local arcade after like 20 minutes there.
I remember dressing up for Prom was fun.
I also remember not having a date, showing up alone, meeting friends there, dancing in a vague group… and that’s about it.
In retrospect, getting eaten out woulda been way more fun. Point Malaya.
I remember NOT dressing up for prom was fun. Ripped jeans, t-shirt, and not giving a fuck was actually more fun than I’d expected. I was going to skip it until my mother forbade me from going because it would embarrass my sister, who was in junior high and had been invited to the prom by her idiot boyfriend. That didn’t work out well for her, I was 18 and had my own car.
The after party was at a friend’s house, there was drinking and watching movies. I don’t think there was any sex that night, might have been, hard to remember 35 years later.
Rose by Any Other Name
See, after parties were apparently where it was at.
I did not have any after party invitations.
It did not help, I think, that Freshman year, I ended up as part of an upper classman friend group. My school had strict rules that only Juniors and Seniors could go to prom, so the years that fun things could have happened, I couldn’t go. And then when it was my turn, all my best friends had graduated already.
I had fun at my prom. I went as the Masque of the Red Death, made my own mask and everything. Inexplicably, I was the only one there who chose that theme (small class of like 125, but it still felt like an obvious choice for a masquerade).
Not gonna lie, that does sound pretty fuckin sweet.
Actually, I did something a little similar. While I couldn’t quite get away with actual historic cosplay, I went with the most Victorian-looking dress I could find.
There was, prehaps, more than one reason I did not have a date. ^^;;
Makkabee
If I’d known someone was going to my prom in the most victorian dress they could find I’d have worn a frock coat and top hat and gone with them instead of staying home and… well, I don’t remember what I did that night, or what night it was, being mumblety-mumble years ago.
Eh, prom was fun for what it was – a night to get dressed up super fancy, hang out with your friends and go ‘thank fuck we’re almost done high school’. If that’s not your thing then yeah it’s not that big a deal. One of my friends didn’t go and she seemed totally fine with that, though we missed hanging out with her that night.
My date wasn’t great – he was more concerned on hitting on the girl he actually wanted to go with (we were there as friends so I wasn’t super hurt but I was kinda miffed), but I had fun. I danced with my friends and the guy who became my first boyfriend a year later. It was fun going home with my date and aforementioned future first boyfriend to watch dumb action comedies at my house after.
Since LatAm imports all of y’all’s culture, but also, we don’t have our drinking age set at 21, schools have been making proms/galas for the last two decades. They can get elaborate. They also usually have an open bar.
Luckily, kiddos don’t usually drive their own cars so this recipe results in a bunch of (sharp-dressed) teenagers getting drunk and partying until really late… With their parents picking them up at the end.
I went to prom with friends, had fun. It’s when you elevate it to being the most consequential romantic moment of your life (something that’s very easy to do when you’re that age) that you run into problems.
My table at the prom dinner was super awkward. My date n I hate just broken up n he had recently cheated on me. Another girls date stood her up. It was a very emotional table
. Then I got very high on too much ecstacy but tried to play it off like I was sober so I drank every full pitcher of water the waiter brought to the table n chewed my face off with bubble gum lmao… It was the only way I could dance cause my dance was an ass n convinced me I had no rhythm n I had to get high to be able to dance in front of my classmates whooo
I remember my prom being fun! There was some fun music and dancing, and me and my friends ate a ridiculous amount of candy. I have no idea who was elected prom king & queen, because most of my friend circle was entirely indifferent to the matter. I’m fairly certain that a significant portion of the student body at large cared, though, and I respect that! Archaic rituals slash popularity contests can be genuinely enjoyable for some people, I’m sure!
I don’t entirely disagree with Malaya about it being kind of dorky, though.
The coolest thing of all would be to eat Malaya out. She’s beautiful, and she’s the kind of arrogant, over-bearing asshole who could put a submissive like me in his place.
Like Joyce, I was homeschooled. Some groups did “homeschool prom.” One of the moms in our group suggested it. Nobody bothered to reply to her email except me, and I suggested we have a Euchre tournament or a flag football game instead. Nobody ever said a word about it again. I don’t think any of us highschoolers in the group cared. It really wouldn’t have fit the vibe of our friend group.
I regret going (Aus version is formal). Didn’t want to go, got bribed, spent half the night reading in a different room until teachers found me and sent me back. Had a panic attack, got picked up early. Pretty much par for my course.
Best part of the night was when a guy made some remark (suggesting I blow him or something) and I dumped my drink on his rented suit. Felt bad ass for two minutes.
Best part of our prom was the insane free all-night party that the town threw for all attendees, in an effort to keep kids from leaving for a drinking afterparty.
Bouncy castles, unlimited food/candy/soft drinks, often a band or other entertainer. Prizes at the very end (5am-ish) if you stayed the whole time. I won an XBox 360 one year. One time they just handed out $50 cash to everyone on the way out.
also seems liek a waste of money. other than a safe supervised place to dress up or so , or being into that prom queen stuff, feels like it’d be better to hang outwith a group of friends at hte movies on the weekends
I loved going to my prom. Theme was Phantom of the Opera, I got to wear a tux with tails, I cut my hair two hours prior from ass-length to this really cute short thing with all these curls on top. After-prom was held at a local pool with hot rubs and saunas, and after that, my friends and our dates went to one friend’s house and watched LA story and crashes til some time in the afternoon the next day. This was also back in the olden days of 1992, so things were definitely different.
Other details, my date looked amazing, but she did cry my hair, dinner was at a fantastic restaurant rhat has long since closed, and no one recognized me because of my haircut.
Prom was imported to this country about ten years after I left school, and I have always been grateful it wasn’t sooner.
(“School disco” isn’t the same thing, even slightly. Although it also wasn’t much fun, at least once I realised I couldn’t breakdance, and the crowd that had gathered around me knew it. And those off-brand 200ml bottles of cola and iron brew that you never saw anywhere except school events, and which never tasted quite right.)
I couldn’t afford it even if I’d wanted to go (which I didn’t). My boyfriend (now husband) and I spent the weekend trying all the ice cream places in like a 45 min radius instead (wayyy less expensive).
agree. I may be biased because mine was uhhh more than 12 hours long (starting at like 4pm) and I got the hell out at about 6am. They wanted us to stay until like noon and I had to argue with the PTA to get out of there.
I spent a bunch my of time at prom batting balloons around. A few other kids joined in.
Also dropped a whole bunch of song requests. Some because they were good songs, others just for the lolz. One of them was Never Gonna Give You Up, I just rickrolled everycreature irl at prom because I could.
Music was freaking LOUD, couldn’t have much conversation outside of that one stretch of time set aside for eating (didn’t eat anything because I’m the pickiest eater on the planet and they didn’t have anything I liked). At one point to take a break from the sensory overload I shut myself in the bathroom for a minute and sang to myself in there. Bathrooms really do have the BEST acoustics btw.
Also there was like, no air conditioning, had to have my rainbow-sequin jacket tied around my waist half the night because I was sweating like crazy. Oh yeah, other things I was wearing included purple glitter sneakers (which were slightly small and too stiff so half the time I just danced around shoeless) and a plastic mask that looked like Pinkie Pie’s face (which went flying off every time I twirled). I was serving kind of a look imo.
Oh, also at one point I did a “dance move” that consisted of dropping on the floor on my back and waggling my arms and legs in the air.
I liked prom. Well. I like getting to wear pretty gowns. And the only reliable opportunities for that are prom and my wedding, with few in between.
I also got to spend the day getting ready with one of my best friends, and our other best friend who moved away the year before flew out to see us and came as her date. So yeah, pretty good night.
I was also made prom queen in the class gc? Which was weird bc that’s not really a thing here? So if was just a weird way to make fun of me ig ?♀️
Hey now, Malaya totally COULD hang out with other people! They’ve just DECIDED, on their own, not to grant other people that privilege. You know, because she’s COOL.
she doesn’t seem to be as needy for attention as carla, and has fuck face so i imagine she’s cool with being a ‘loner’ but not in a ‘posing lone wolf’ way lol
or randomly hooking up with ppl like she did with joe one time
Malaya does have Fuckface as another roommate, which inherently cool but only if Fuckface has choosen to be present otherwise MMalayais just another dork who went to White Castle, Although to be fair everyone is a dork when compared to Fuckface.
If we need another “Mike death” to move along the story, I volunteer Malaya to be the sacrifice. Hell even if we don’t necessarily need her death, I volunteer her for it anyway.
Honestly I hated Malaya for the longest time but now that Sal is slightly less vulnerable to Malaya’s needling, I’m actually enjoying their new dynamic. It was pretty grating for awhile there but it’s become almost playful or tongue in cheek, which makes it more bearable.
Also, Malaya in this instance is mostly being inflicted on Jennifer, who I haven’t ever really vibed with and I always enjoy seeing people no-sell her “prom queen” shtick.
200 thoughts on “Dork-ass”
NGPZ
*plays “Super Freak” by Rick James on hacked muzak*
Kyrik Michalowski
Wait, where is Ana? Have they been kidnapped or something?
Eric
Is it Prom season again already?!
Armadillo
Anything you could be doing that isn’t attending prom is better than being the bigshot at prom. Prom sucks ass.
Sirksome
I think prom as a concept was only a big deal in movies. I remember my prom which was over a decade ago mind you, being really boring. I remember drinking lots of free soda then me and my two friends and a small group of others went bowling at the local arcade after like 20 minutes there.
RassilonTDavros
Glad to know I’m not the only one here who skipped it and has no real regrets over doing so.
Rose by Any Other Name
I remember dressing up for Prom was fun.
I also remember not having a date, showing up alone, meeting friends there, dancing in a vague group… and that’s about it.
In retrospect, getting eaten out woulda been way more fun. Point Malaya.
VicMortimer
I remember NOT dressing up for prom was fun. Ripped jeans, t-shirt, and not giving a fuck was actually more fun than I’d expected. I was going to skip it until my mother forbade me from going because it would embarrass my sister, who was in junior high and had been invited to the prom by her idiot boyfriend. That didn’t work out well for her, I was 18 and had my own car.
The after party was at a friend’s house, there was drinking and watching movies. I don’t think there was any sex that night, might have been, hard to remember 35 years later.
Rose by Any Other Name
See, after parties were apparently where it was at.
I did not have any after party invitations.
It did not help, I think, that Freshman year, I ended up as part of an upper classman friend group. My school had strict rules that only Juniors and Seniors could go to prom, so the years that fun things could have happened, I couldn’t go. And then when it was my turn, all my best friends had graduated already.
Bittersweet
I had fun at my prom. I went as the Masque of the Red Death, made my own mask and everything. Inexplicably, I was the only one there who chose that theme (small class of like 125, but it still felt like an obvious choice for a masquerade).
Dante
That sounds amazing tho, I love the idea OwO!!
Rose by Any Other Name
Not gonna lie, that does sound pretty fuckin sweet.
Actually, I did something a little similar. While I couldn’t quite get away with actual historic cosplay, I went with the most Victorian-looking dress I could find.
There was, prehaps, more than one reason I did not have a date. ^^;;
Makkabee
If I’d known someone was going to my prom in the most victorian dress they could find I’d have worn a frock coat and top hat and gone with them instead of staying home and… well, I don’t remember what I did that night, or what night it was, being mumblety-mumble years ago.
twig
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BBCC
Eh, prom was fun for what it was – a night to get dressed up super fancy, hang out with your friends and go ‘thank fuck we’re almost done high school’. If that’s not your thing then yeah it’s not that big a deal. One of my friends didn’t go and she seemed totally fine with that, though we missed hanging out with her that night.
My date wasn’t great – he was more concerned on hitting on the girl he actually wanted to go with (we were there as friends so I wasn’t super hurt but I was kinda miffed), but I had fun. I danced with my friends and the guy who became my first boyfriend a year later. It was fun going home with my date and aforementioned future first boyfriend to watch dumb action comedies at my house after.
NGPZ
I never went to prom. by then my limbs had swollen to almost twice their size, so instead I was in the wheel-chair tripping on medical marijuana.
in retrospect i probably wouldn’t have liked prom anyway. seems too bourgeois honestly
Dante
Since LatAm imports all of y’all’s culture, but also, we don’t have our drinking age set at 21, schools have been making proms/galas for the last two decades. They can get elaborate. They also usually have an open bar.
Luckily, kiddos don’t usually drive their own cars so this recipe results in a bunch of (sharp-dressed) teenagers getting drunk and partying until really late… With their parents picking them up at the end.
Mr D
Ah, someone else who understands the basic idea of “old enough to be a soldier, old enough to get wasted”
Belegcam
I went to prom with friends, had fun. It’s when you elevate it to being the most consequential romantic moment of your life (something that’s very easy to do when you’re that age) that you run into problems.
Jo_cubstar
My table at the prom dinner was super awkward. My date n I hate just broken up n he had recently cheated on me. Another girls date stood her up. It was a very emotional table
. Then I got very high on too much ecstacy but tried to play it off like I was sober so I drank every full pitcher of water the waiter brought to the table n chewed my face off with bubble gum lmao… It was the only way I could dance cause my dance was an ass n convinced me I had no rhythm n I had to get high to be able to dance in front of my classmates whooo
Mturtle7
I remember my prom being fun! There was some fun music and dancing, and me and my friends ate a ridiculous amount of candy. I have no idea who was elected prom king & queen, because most of my friend circle was entirely indifferent to the matter. I’m fairly certain that a significant portion of the student body at large cared, though, and I respect that! Archaic rituals slash popularity contests can be genuinely enjoyable for some people, I’m sure!
I don’t entirely disagree with Malaya about it being kind of dorky, though.
BarerMender
The coolest thing of all would be to eat Malaya out. She’s beautiful, and she’s the kind of arrogant, over-bearing asshole who could put a submissive like me in his place.
David DeLaney
Carla avatar seems rather into it
Mturtle7
AU allosexual (or at least, sex-positive) Carla is mildly terrifying to me
thejeff
There was that brief weird thing where Carla was talking about getting Malaya to step on her, so this kind of tracks?
Mturtle7
Oh yeah, I actually forgot about that. Fair enough!
Imagining her talking enthusiastically about eating someone out is still weird, though.
Dinajoyce
Like Joyce, I was homeschooled. Some groups did “homeschool prom.” One of the moms in our group suggested it. Nobody bothered to reply to her email except me, and I suggested we have a Euchre tournament or a flag football game instead. Nobody ever said a word about it again. I don’t think any of us highschoolers in the group cared. It really wouldn’t have fit the vibe of our friend group.
Bogeywoman
I regret going (Aus version is formal). Didn’t want to go, got bribed, spent half the night reading in a different room until teachers found me and sent me back. Had a panic attack, got picked up early. Pretty much par for my course.
Best part of the night was when a guy made some remark (suggesting I blow him or something) and I dumped my drink on his rented suit. Felt bad ass for two minutes.
Jon
Best part of our prom was the insane free all-night party that the town threw for all attendees, in an effort to keep kids from leaving for a drinking afterparty.
Bouncy castles, unlimited food/candy/soft drinks, often a band or other entertainer. Prizes at the very end (5am-ish) if you stayed the whole time. I won an XBox 360 one year. One time they just handed out $50 cash to everyone on the way out.
anon
also seems liek a waste of money. other than a safe supervised place to dress up or so , or being into that prom queen stuff, feels like it’d be better to hang outwith a group of friends at hte movies on the weekends
morleuca
I loved going to my prom. Theme was Phantom of the Opera, I got to wear a tux with tails, I cut my hair two hours prior from ass-length to this really cute short thing with all these curls on top. After-prom was held at a local pool with hot rubs and saunas, and after that, my friends and our dates went to one friend’s house and watched LA story and crashes til some time in the afternoon the next day. This was also back in the olden days of 1992, so things were definitely different.
morleuca
Other details, my date looked amazing, but she did cry my hair, dinner was at a fantastic restaurant rhat has long since closed, and no one recognized me because of my haircut.
zee
:O tail coat! Im jealous, that awesome
Daibhid C
Prom was imported to this country about ten years after I left school, and I have always been grateful it wasn’t sooner.
(“School disco” isn’t the same thing, even slightly. Although it also wasn’t much fun, at least once I realised I couldn’t breakdance, and the crowd that had gathered around me knew it. And those off-brand 200ml bottles of cola and iron brew that you never saw anywhere except school events, and which never tasted quite right.)
Nicoleandmaggie
I couldn’t afford it even if I’d wanted to go (which I didn’t). My boyfriend (now husband) and I spent the weekend trying all the ice cream places in like a 45 min radius instead (wayyy less expensive).
Axel
agree. I may be biased because mine was uhhh more than 12 hours long (starting at like 4pm) and I got the hell out at about 6am. They wanted us to stay until like noon and I had to argue with the PTA to get out of there.
twig
W H A T ??????????????????
egg egg
I went to prom solo and got to eat a bunch of cookies, so it was a decent experience.
twig
I spent a bunch my of time at prom batting balloons around. A few other kids joined in.
Also dropped a whole bunch of song requests. Some because they were good songs, others just for the lolz. One of them was Never Gonna Give You Up, I just rickrolled everycreature irl at prom because I could.
Music was freaking LOUD, couldn’t have much conversation outside of that one stretch of time set aside for eating (didn’t eat anything because I’m the pickiest eater on the planet and they didn’t have anything I liked). At one point to take a break from the sensory overload I shut myself in the bathroom for a minute and sang to myself in there. Bathrooms really do have the BEST acoustics btw.
Also there was like, no air conditioning, had to have my rainbow-sequin jacket tied around my waist half the night because I was sweating like crazy. Oh yeah, other things I was wearing included purple glitter sneakers (which were slightly small and too stiff so half the time I just danced around shoeless) and a plastic mask that looked like Pinkie Pie’s face (which went flying off every time I twirled). I was serving kind of a look imo.
Oh, also at one point I did a “dance move” that consisted of dropping on the floor on my back and waggling my arms and legs in the air.
zee
I liked prom. Well. I like getting to wear pretty gowns. And the only reliable opportunities for that are prom and my wedding, with few in between.
I also got to spend the day getting ready with one of my best friends, and our other best friend who moved away the year before flew out to see us and came as her date. So yeah, pretty good night.
I was also made prom queen in the class gc? Which was weird bc that’s not really a thing here? So if was just a weird way to make fun of me ig ?♀️
Sirksome
Haven’t we established by now coolness is subjective? Who cares about who was getting eaten out where or who was cheerleader when?
UrsulaDavina
I guess I would say 7 to 8 degrees Celsius is cool which about 44.6 to 46.4 Fahrenheit but your right coolness is subjective.
BarerMender
I live in Forida. 74 F is cool to me. At 70, I break out my long johns.
Dday
When you die, they add up all your cool points to decide if you can get in to cool heaven.
C.T. Phipps
Jennifer absolutely does not believe that.
Mturtle7
To the first question: not in comic, and not for these two, no.
To the second: Malaya and Jennifer, respectively (and exclusively).
Nono
Rooming with Jennifer and then Malaya, I’m surprised Sal hasn’t turned to murder yet.
Maybe if her next roommate is Mary that will be the tipping point.
Jeremiah
Why would you wish such terrible fate on someone? There are circles of hell better than that.
Dante
The only person I’d sic Mary on is Malaya. The only person I’d wish on Malaya is Mary.
THIS would be a perfect roommate arrangement. And the resulting Sal and Roz sounds full of possibilities.
Thag Simmons
Problem; Malaya had a pet that’s against dorm rules and Mary is a snitch
Imogen
I would not wish Mary on Malaya. Mary would absolutely snitch on the lizard while constantly misgendering them. Malaya is just kind of cantankerous.
DailyBrad
I’d ask why Malaya doesn’t have other people to hang out with, but that is a question that answers itself.
Mturtle7
Hey now, Malaya totally COULD hang out with other people! They’ve just DECIDED, on their own, not to grant other people that privilege. You know, because she’s COOL.
anon
she doesn’t seem to be as needy for attention as carla, and has fuck face so i imagine she’s cool with being a ‘loner’ but not in a ‘posing lone wolf’ way lol
or randomly hooking up with ppl like she did with joe one time
Jeremiah
Well, she is an relationship with Marcie and go to the roller derbies thing.
DashWallkick
She’s a loner who doesn’t need people, but in a less try hard way than Sal (ie the exact same)
UrsulaDavina
Malaya does have Fuckface as another roommate, which inherently cool but only if Fuckface has choosen to be present otherwise MMalayais just another dork who went to White Castle, Although to be fair everyone is a dork when compared to Fuckface.
shadowcell
Dumbing of Age Gets Eaten Out in a White Castle Parking Lot
Rose by Any Other Name
I’d buy it.
Proto
Take that, Garfield At Large!
BBCC
Ya had to ruin the moment, eh Malaya? XD
Kyrik Michalowski
I think if Malaya actually thought she was having a moment with Sal, she would either implode due to hatred, or explode from intolerance of others.
BBCC
Malaya is a reflexive contrarian so if she has a moment, she must ruin it. It’s the way of the Malaya.
Kyrik Michalowski
If we need another “Mike death” to move along the story, I volunteer Malaya to be the sacrifice. Hell even if we don’t necessarily need her death, I volunteer her for it anyway.
I fucking detest Malaya; was that not clear?
Cmasta1992
+1 the less Malaya the better
Mturtle7
-1 Malaya, like Carla, is perfect and can do no wrong
CMasta1992
As far as depth goes she’s the flattest character we’ve had in the series and that is a hell of an accomplishment when Faz exists
clif
It’s the binder isn’t it.
Bruno
It is. It is the binder.
Jeremiah
I think you are thinking of Mary.
Jon
Honestly I hated Malaya for the longest time but now that Sal is slightly less vulnerable to Malaya’s needling, I’m actually enjoying their new dynamic. It was pretty grating for awhile there but it’s become almost playful or tongue in cheek, which makes it more bearable.
Also, Malaya in this instance is mostly being inflicted on Jennifer, who I haven’t ever really vibed with and I always enjoy seeing people no-sell her “prom queen” shtick.
lyzyrdwyzyrd