125

Drained
Posted on March 17, 2023 by David M Willis

125 thoughts on “Drained”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    lately my reward is one of

    + nap
    + spider solitaire
    + Yukon solitaire
    + weird version of FreeCell where the suits have to match instead
    + I guess also Canfield solitaire I just found, shit

    1. cbwroses

      I’ve been rewarding myself with AI art of my dnd characters.

      1. MIB4u

        ooooooh, show us!!

    2. Kyoulkoa

      I didn’t realize there were so many versions of solitaire
      * accidental flag, sorry

      1. cbwroses

        There’s over 100 versions of solitaire.

        1. Reltzik

          Strange that there’s more than one, semantically speaking.

        2. Decidedly Orthogonal

          Only if you consider the name as refering to the game structure, rather than who you play with. Though one could argue that there is only one game that is playing with yourself, and the details are merely different facets of that one game.

        3. Leorale

          If you make that argument, then Joyce is also talking about playing solitaire.

        4. Opus the Poet

          And we have another euphemism for masturbation.

        5. OBBWG

          If you like solitaire: Pretty Good Solitaire

      2. huesatlight

        I believe that was a main topic of discussion yesterday.

    3. cbwroses

      I was today’s years old when I finally paid attention to Ana’s name beyond the “Ana” part.
      It’s not even an issue of not getting it, I’ve just apparently been glossing over it for years.
      Now I’m wondering what other puns (is that the right term?) I’ve been missing in commenters’ names.

      1. Dana

        Ana has one or two other punny names.

        1. Cholma

          Jen Aside is the first one, I believe. Blanking on any others.

        2. Leadsynth

          Wait, what’s “Jen Aside” a pun on?

        3. LiterallyJustSomeGuy

          A word that is pronounced the same but spelled with a G, O, and C rather than a J, A, and S.

        4. LiterallyJustSomeGuy

          It was another Aside, right? Sue Aside?

        5. Ana Chronistic

          “one or two” NOBODY KNOWS ME AT ALL *cries*

    4. Stanistani

      try this, it’s 22 years old and difficult – no deck – https://www.gamedesign.jp/games/solitaire/

      1. Ana Chronistic

        yeah, that’s a variant on Yukon solitaire

    5. Paradox

      You should check out Churchill Solitaire

    6. Leadsynth

      And by “Solitaire,” I mean the ol’ target self-checkout

  2. Kyoulkoa

    Nooo dont do it Amber

  3. Sirksome

    Ooooh. Has sliding timescale made Amber now young enough she’s a tiktok teen instead of a twitter one?

    1. cbwroses

      Sliding timescale has brought Amber inline with Twitter post Musk and she has felt the urge to branch out.

    2. Vanessa

      I wonder if Twitter has also imploded into Nazis and Billionaire-Yes-Men in the dumbiverse. I’ve certainly found it far less entertaining lately, if it even works when I want to look at it.

  4. Schpoonman

    “little a doomscrolling”?

    1. RacingTurtle

      That is actually the proper formulation of the salami meme!

      1. Schpoonman

        Neat.

  5. Doctor_Who

    TokTok is the Amazi-Girl of apps. It also tracks everyone’s phones.

    1. Vanessa

      Lol which is exactly what FaceBook and Instagram have always done. I’ve seen some reporting that Zuckerberg is funding this whole TikTok panic to get his monopoly back. Meta definitely got caught paying money to a political operative to plant fake stories about TikTok in local TV news and newspapers last year.

      1. Needfuldoer

        At least Zuckbook doesn’t have that annoyingly nasal text-to-speech voice at the beginning of every post.

        1. Decidedly Orthogonal

          You mean that’s his *real* voice in interviews?

          He’d be better off using TikTok narration.

  6. Axel

    honestly that’s more than I manage a lot of days. a lot better than nothin’

  7. Yotomoe

    https://imgur.com/a/UAtiyAa

    One free art to whover gets this reference.

    1. newlland(Henryvolt)

      That one episode of American Dad where Stan is on jury duty trying to get Roger convicted.

      1. cbwroses

        I only remember that episode for their impromptu duet.

      2. Yotomoe

        Holy shit it didn’t even take 2 minutes. Ok you get one free art.

        1. newlland(Henryvolt)

          VICTORY! Don’t worry I know where to find you when I made up my mind. It will take about a day or an hour who knows.

    2. cbwroses

      I do not Captain America that reference, but I do like her look.

    3. RassilonTDavros

      Did a search for the text on the Internet, found the source, and immediately decided I didn’t even wanna pretend to get the reference. Which is a shame because the “one free art” bit woulda been neat.

    4. Decidedly Orthogonal

      Brilliant as always. It’s his chair right? That she wants to sit on?

      1. TerribleTransit

        No, it’s his butt. It’d make a comfy seat. Just two people platonically mashing their butts together for sitting purposes.

    5. ValdVin

      I don’t get the reference. You need to publish four more arts to help me.

    6. DailyBrad

      Hehe, I love your Joyce pics. Also enjoy the Clarice you did for GWS the other day.

      1. Yotomoe

        Haha thanks. I definitely wanna draw more of the GWS cast later. Or at least just my faves.

        1. DailyBrad

          Excellent to hear!

    7. Ragnarok101

      Hey, Yoto, what happened to your artdump link?

      1. Yotomoe

        Ah when my browser restarts I gotta plug in all my info again. I just forgot to save my imgur link and can’t link it right now.

        Also I haven’t updated it in a while.

      2. The Wellerman

        🙂 Your wish has been granted:

        https://imgur.io/a/8Q50mBQ

        Have fun!!!

  8. Stephen Bierce

    “You may call it doomscrolling, but I consider it intelligence gathering.”

    1. Jamie

      I feel like calling Tiktok “intelligence” is a bit much.

      1. Dana

        Propaganda conduit?

      2. Bicycle Bill

        TikTok (and Facebook) are useful in that they continue to prove that artificial intelligence is no match for natural human stupidity.

        1. Opus the Poet

          Please take this imaginary upvote!

  9. Just an Armadillo

    I think Joe is still processing.

    1. Holly

      Yeah, that’s a loading screen face if ever I saw one.

  10. nobodybasically

    God I feel old. I started reading this comic in college before even the earlier app that became TikTok existed and now the college students are all addicted to it.

    1. Sirksome

      So did Amber technically she should probably be near 30 right now. She’d be one of those liberal doomers arguing with her slightly racist, right wing uncle on twitter about how Trump is actually responsible for the current banking crisis and not woke-ism. She probably has an old MySpace account she forgot her password for that she posted old proto-slashfic of the first Iron Man movie.

      1. StClair

        possibly even a livejournal.

      2. RassilonTDavros

        (Furiously begins glancing through Blaine-related Shortpacked! storylines to see if Amber has an uncle mentioned anywhere in some obscure bit of continuity minutia)

        1. RassilonTDavros

          Couldn’t find one in any obvious spots but Stacy mentions an “Aunt Molly” who evidently informed her of Blaine’s death in Blaine’s death in this strip, so there’s that.

          Gotta love how Blaine is the only character who both dies and stays dead in both continuities. Multiple universes have all come to the same conclusion that he’s a waste of oxygen

        2. Sirksome

          Lol! Shortpacked Amber was apparently on Facebook! How old does that make her now, like 50?

      3. Sporky

        “Proto-slashfic”, that’s funny. Slashfic had already been around for like 40 years in the 2000s

        1. Sirksome

          I kind of meant “proto” for Amber not really the genre itself, but I can see a young teen Amber believing she’s a pioneer in the literary smut world before realizing she’s just walking in the footsteps of her smut writing forebears.

      4. huesatlight

        “proto-slashfic” every generation thinks they invented sex. Before the world wide web there was alt.sex.stories on usenet. Before that people used to read their erotica on paper.

        1. huesatlight

          Like Zeus isn’t real. Someone had to come up with the Zeus/Ganymede story.

        2. thejeff

          alt.sex.stories didn’t really have much slashfic. An awful lot of really creepy stuff though, iirc.

          Slashfic isn’t just erotica, but specifically smutty (or in some cases just romantic) fan-fiction. The term seems to have originated in Trek fandom back in the 70s. Spread in fan zines long before the internet.

          While I’m sure people wrote such stories before, at least in their heads, it needed some kind of organized fan community to spread beyond that.

        3. huesatlight

          I promise that having the term “slash” was not required for people to feel horniness in any particular way. People were sharing all kinds of erotica in whatever technology they could (usenet, zines, printing press, written, oral tradition), including both the stuff you disapprove of and the stuff you approve of, long before the 1970s, they didn’t just keep all of it in their heads.
          The Greeks performed it in theater, “organized fan community” isn’t something new.

          The more things change, the more they stay the same.

        4. thejeff

          It seems you’re conflating slashfic with any erotica?

      5. Keulen

        I’d like to hope at least some more of my fellow Millennials in their 30s have realized that liberal isn’t the farthest left you can go politically.

    2. ischemgeek

      If it helps, in a lot of ways TikTok is just an evolution of Vine except with bonus spyware.

  11. DailyBrad

    Joe is taking this in stride, and so is Joyce in a fashion.

    You did good, Amber.

  12. drs

    So are either Amber _or_ Ethan attending classes?

    1. GholaHalleck

      You think Amber would take a class before noon?

      1. Otl1973

        Admittedly it was almost 50 years ago, but when I majored in computer science, none of the classes were before noon.

        1. Daibhid C

          Reminded of why Dave Lister dropped out of art college.

          “I thought it’d be a skive, but they had classes like first thing in the middle of the afternoon!”

        2. Jason

          “I’m talking half past twelve every day! Who’s together by then?! You can still taste the toothpaste!”

          (Thinking about it, I’m impressed at the implication they made that Lister brushed his teeth regularly, given his general depiction…)

        3. Mark

          Yeah, the early morning slots are all reserved for calculus.

        4. huesatlight

          Filling the humanities requirements at the break of 10am.

    2. DailyBrad

      I am pretty sure Amber attends classes, at least, generally. I know she’s had her MMORPG moments in the past, but even that was probably in her free time more often than not.

  13. BBCC

    Oh come on, Amber. 😛 The funny ones all end up on YouTube anyway!

  14. newlland(Henryvolt)

    Running late on the daily reddit post, but hey I have just a little bit more than 24 hours on the Rivals poll:https://www.reddit.com/r/dumbingofage/comments/11ob9xb/greatest_nemesis_type_rivalry_in_doa/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

    1. newlland(Henryvolt)

      This comes a bit late but it was worth it, it’s ironic that tiktok was name dropped here since I use one of there viral sounds for this: https://www.reddit.com/r/dumbingofage/comments/11thvxg/my_proudest_work_yet_as_far_as_the_dumbing_of_age/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

  15. Icalasari

    Amber chose a great pair for socializing that day

  16. newlland(Henryvolt)

    Be careful with tiktok stuff Amber, sure at first it seems fun scrolling with the movie analysis and throw back parodies about animated series & video games with the exception of every 3rd or 4th being a someone ranting on about political history and/or news.

    But before you know it you end up spending 4 hours scrolling though it when you just wanted to spend 40 minutes at the most.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Don’t forget the latest “The [something] Challenge” that’s irritating at best to a dangerous low-level felony at worst.

      Seriously, the only good social media “challenge” was the Ice Bucket Challenge.

      1. milu

        There’s also a bunch of music and dance challenges? I’m not on it but i’ll hear about it from youtubers like Adam Neely and they honestly make it seem like a pretty cool platform

        1. Needfuldoer

          I categorize those under “irritating”. At least they’re generally harmless.

  17. anon

    LOL that sounds like it’d be a ‘challenge’ to some ppl as long as they’re respectful about it.

    Watch as they bump into someone that spills a drink on joe and then they have to undress

    1. Bicycle Bill

      I used to lick my finger, tap the girl on her shirtsleeve, then tell her, “Sorry. Maybe you’d better get out of those wet clothes before you catch cold.”
       
      It never worked.

      1. anon

        reminds me of that 30 rock scene where tracy spills watero n hazel lol

  18. Clif

    Meh, if it wasn’t tiktok it would be something else. In the dark ages before the Interwebs I would spend hours reading books instead of whatever I should have been doing instead.

    1. The Wellerman

      Reading manga is premium *_*

  19. bagge

    Go, Amber!

    1. milu

      You done good.

  20. bleepbloop

    Looks like Dorothy’s plan has worked…for now!

    1. Jason

      Joyce seems to think so… but that does not make it so. We shall see!

  21. PirateTawnee

    Oh Amber, I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      That was actually a line from a country song by Trace Adkins from almost 20 years ago.

      1. Opus the Poet

        I have been hearing that line for over 40 years, coming on 50. Yes I’m old. I’ve been getting senior discounts since the mid-90s.

  22. Needfuldoer

    Amber no! Doomscrolling is never a treat!

    1. StClair

      My cortisol addiction says otherwise!

  23. Hazel

    I think Amber’s hair is a little longer in the back. It looks nice.

  24. DarkoNeko

    I thought it’d be “ooh that line is good, time to put it in my fics”

  25. David

    This is not how masturbation works.

  26. AlaninDC

    Amber has always been my favorite character in the strip. I wish she could bury her ghosts and get on with a happy and productive life.

  27. Carla's #2 Fan

    Somehow Joyce, I don’t believe you. I just hope Joe doesn’t either. You may not be ready for a relationship, totally fine, but I’ve seen how you act with Joe. That was romantic long before it was horny.

  28. Rabisch

    What? Isn’t Amber going to meet Booster to find out how their “Ethan” project is going?

  29. ValdVin

    Joyce is certainly getting in workouts pushing friends and family around.

    https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/chattin/

  30. John

    Jesus Christ, Amber, go to therapy already!

  31. Sibre

    Twist: that’s Booster talking in the last panel.

    1. David

      That would make superb sense, and all that DW would need to do after the fact to make this canon is to add Booster to the character tags. You got my vote.

  32. vulcanodon

    Non-Platonic feelings (sound of capacitor charging after discharge…)

    1. David

      Cannot decide whether the capacitor charge is going to end in Joyce flashing Joe, or otherwise shocking him. Keep him on the fence.

      1. Opus the Poet

        I see what you did there. You should feel shame in your shorts. /s

  33. KiaStirling

    Dumbing of Age Book (I forget which number we’re on): I Have Drained My Body of Everything Except Platonic Feelings

    1. Opus the Poet

      It’s up there in the URL, we’re in Book 13 Chapter Joementum.

  34. HoopsieDaisy

    You got out of bed and ate some real food. Reward yourself with a little bit of crack.

  35. milu

    More Marsaya cuties =3

    1. The Wellerman

      ? Awesome!

    2. bemisawa

      Very nice!

  36. Felian

    Nothing says “i’m not sexually interested in you“ quite like “i totally masturbated before meeting you“….

  37. Mr.Morningstar

    Deniiiaaaaaaaaal

  38. shoopdawhoop

    You even used an excessive amount of innuendo. Treat yourself.

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