116

Drew
Posted on September 18, 2019 by David M Willis

116 thoughts on “Drew”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    everyone loves anti-lock brakes?

    1. Ana Chronistic

      “Drew walks by me…”

    2. The Other Mike

      Me, I’m a bigger fan of acrylonitrile butadiene styrene.

  2. BBCC

    You can find abs without the edge lord subreddit, Amber, I promise.

    And Ethan, honey, no, Drew is not a good idea.

    1. Rex Vivat

      To be fair, we know nothing about this Drew.

      1. BBCC

        I know, I know, but my hackles are up. Bitten by one universe’s Drew, twice shy.

        1. Kaidah

          Amen to that. I’m actually just coming to the end of a Shortpacked! re-read and it puts the whole Drew-Ethan-Mike-Amber thing in a different perspective I wouldn’t have had if this strip had come out a couple weeks ago.

        2. Potatamoto

          Heck yes to that. The Drew-hate’s baked on at this point.

    2. SUGauthor

      As long as he just wants casual I think it’ll be fine.

      1. BBCC

        Rationally speaking, yes, but seeing him gets my hackles up anyways.

    3. Dara

      Honestly? I think Mike may’ve actually done something… good? here? For Ethan?

      I mean, it’s early days, but…

      1. thejeff

        Remember the plan. The point was to make Danny a jealous, whimpering mess. Now he can be jealous not just of Mike, but of all the casual sex Ethan’s getting.

        1. Clif

          Mike wins again. He’s just not here to appreciate it.

  3. ian livs

    Aww, Danny… 🙁

    1. JessWitt

      Poor guy looks down in panel 5.

      1. abysswatcher1993

        Mike: If you pause slowly you can see the moment where his heart breaks.

  4. Nono

    Okay, I’m gonna say it: I think Drew is cute so the shallow part of me is fine with EthanxDrew.

    1. Doctor_Who

      And I think he looks like Jim J Bullock in Too Close For Comfort, but I keep that to myself because I don’t want to admit that I used to watch Too Close For Comfort.

      1. Stephen Bierce

        “It’s not voo–it’s VHO! With a wubbleyou.”

  5. ValdVin

    Amber has eidetic abs memory.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      And probably multiverse visions that break the 4th wall.

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      For a brief moment I was parsing this as ((eidetic abs) memory) and I was somehow trying to make it work. Colorless green ideas sleep furiously!

      1. Chris Phoenix

        https://linguistlist.org/issues/2/2-457.html#2

        Meaningful interpretations of “colorless green ideas sleep furiously” – the best (imo) rely on parsing (colorless (green ideas)).

      2. Clif

        How does a memory of eidetic abs not work? I would think they would be very memorable

  6. Lily

    Danny my boy

    1. Proxiehunter

      The pipes, the pipes are calling . . .

      1. StClair

        From Glen to Glen?
        (what about Ethan?)

        1. Geneseepaws

          Made me waste coffee, great comment tho’.

  7. Nono

    Wait, is this conversation basically Sarah and Jacob, but in reverse?

  8. JepMZ

    That’s quite the lore bomb for Danny

  9. J

    He’s starting to get pretty whimpery and jealous…

    1. Sunny

      So Mike’s scheme is coming to fruition then.

  10. King Daniel

    If Drew is Yoko, does that make Ethan John?

    Good thing there aren’t any gun-wielding characters we know of who recently got bailed from…oh no.

    1. Jamie

      And now I understand who “yoko” is, and that it is not some edgy variant on yolo. Thank you.

    2. Dara

      Ethan John isn’t the man you think he is at all. Oh no, no, no. He’s a rocker man.

      1. Ascension

        I regret that I cannot upvote this comment.

    3. Andrusi

      So I definitely read that as “does that make Elton John?”

  11. Madock345

    Danny tears nooo ?

  12. Kyrik Michalowski

    It’s ok Danny, there are other fish in the sea. Some of them even have names.

  13. Nono

    This is probably good for Danny? I mean, knowing that your crush is seeing other people, especially people you don’t approve of, is actually a pretty good way to get you to start moving on.

  14. Ascension

    Danny may be the exact kind of doofus who probably genuinely believes in the friendzone, but I’ve got to feel sorry for him here nonetheless.

    1. Keulen

      At least he wasn’t dumped on the stairs this time.

    2. Zee

      Maybe old Danny, but this is hat Danny.

  15. Sirksome

    Is Mike supposed to be hot? I’m sorry even if I could get passed the attitude the discount Johnny Bravo hair ruins it for me.

    1. Sam

      He is supposed to be at least attractive enough that some people are sexually attracted to him and likely just physically toned enough that it is noticeable to people that pay attention. And he knows how to be straightforward about what he wants. So he might not be 10/10 like Jacob, but he would probably be around a solid 8. His scowl at most times would detract from it however. Whether his personality would or not depends as some people will willingly sleep with people they despise so. Amber at least thinks Mike is hot and so does Ethan.

      1. Dana

        Don’t rank women, Joe. 🙂

        1. Sam

          Yes, I know. I only ranked him to give an idea of the fact that yes he would be considered attractive even if he is a godawful person as I know that I personally have a hard time telling when someone is attractive or not and if so, how much without it being too vague. I only rank for explanation purposes of comic character reactions.

      2. Zee

        It might just be the fact that I recently binge read Kaguya Sama: love is war, and my teenhood crush on Mike but the scowl is kinda sexy. Idk there’s something about him that I’ve always found really attractive. I’m assuming it’s the same for other people

      3. Marsh Maryrose

        Some people find scowling guys hot: Dude Watchin’ With the Brontes.

        (I’m glad that Kate Beaton has gone on to a successful career, but I do miss Hark! A Vagrant!)

        1. SailorCakes

          Why is this so perfect? D:

    2. StClair

      Hoo hah!
      Nickel-y.

  16. Terrapin

    Panel 5 is what heartbreak would look like if it had a face.

  17. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    . . . . Mike has abs? For some reason he never struck me as the type to go and actually work out. Like maybe some personnel dumb bells but not the type to go and shape his body.

    1. Foxhack

      Hatred and anger can cause involuntary muscle spasms…

    2. Deadjolras

      It’s not the first time Amber brings them up, so I guess Mike’s abs have existed for a while.
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/labels/

    3. Baf

      If it were just for his own sake, sure. But there is no amount of effort Mike will not go to in the pursuit of making people feel bad. And sculpted abs can be a very useful tool towards that end:
      – Make people feel inferior
      – Make people horny for him so he can turn them down
      – Helps him seduce your mom
      – I don’t mean moms in general, I’m talking specifically about your mom

    4. Eve

      In the previous universe he at least had alien augmentation to his dna that probably helped him be buff. Now he’s got to work for them.

      1. Nono

        Could be Jughead genetics.

  18. Tacos

    I don’t know why but when I read Amber say “abs” I heard in Jon Bailey’s Epic Voice Guy’s er… voice.

  19. Deadjolras

    Just according to keikaku.

    (Translator’s note: keikaku means plan)

  20. DailyBrad

    Drew always weirds me out. It’s something about his face.

    1. BarerMender

      Maybe it has to do with his beard running all the way down his neck.

  21. Baggettt

    amber’s smile in “slashficced it up” is beautiful

  22. Bagge

    amber’s smile in “slashficced it up” is beautiful

    1. Fire_daws

      Wait, there’s two of you????

      1. Bagge

        “Baggettt” is obviously my evil, French twin.

        (I did of course not mess up my user name in the comment form. Who would do something like that??)

        1. fire_daws

          A likely story, who do you think you’re trying to fool? Obviously it was your evil Belgian twin.

        2. Marsh Maryrose

          I thought Bagge’s evil Gallic twin was Baguette?

  23. Peter

    Mike the Edgelordy Subreddit doesn’t have a tag. I’m going to take a wild guess that we’re not going to be seeing him again.

    1. Peter

      Ehhh… his name is Drew, and I fail reading, this early in the morning. :-/ Disregard me, just doddering here.

  24. Miri

    Poor slightly concussed Danny boy…

  25. Moon

    open rp *rips open a box of Excedrin™* migrane pills? migrane pills anyone

  26. newllend(henryvolt)

    Mike gave Danny the Mike treatment without even interacting with him.

  27. JessWitt

    Sure hope Drew’s nicer in this universe.

  28. Inahc

    Rot13 of the day: Fgvyy abguvat gb ercbeg

  29. Keulen

    Mike must have some pretty impressive abs.

  30. Nenja

    Danny’s face in the fifth panel makes me sad.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      That was Mike’s plan all along.

  31. abysswatcher1993

    I feel bad for Danny. Most of his crushes in every universe break up with him for silly reasons. Walkyverse! Sal was running away and had mental problems, Dorothy broke with him for the same reasons she did with Walky (she was just having fun and is unrealistically obsessed with being president), Amber/Amazi-Girl became distrustful of him because of DOA! Sal, and Ethan seems to not want to be attached to anyone. He can’t get a break, and Willis has been making him a cosmic punch back for years because of past willis relationship with his original Christian works.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      I mean Christian in the most loose sense of the world (mocking political correctness and showing the fear of sexuality). Willis expressed some personal feelings during Roomies.

    2. LauraS

      Pretty down on the idea of a woman following her dreams rather than a man there, aren’tya?

    3. Sam

      These reasons are not silly. You’re allowed to break up with someone or not be with them for any reason.

      Walkyverse Sal is allowed to decide ‘I need to handle my stuff alone’ and not want to be with him.

      Dorothy has an ambitious dream she is willing to chase even if it means she only achieves it when she is 70. And Danny disrespectfully expected her to give up on it and had no faith in her. He expected her to give up on her greatest ambition for him, some white boy with no personal ambitions, dreams or wishes other than getting married, expected her to give up on hers, for him.

      Amber/AG are allowed to break up with him because he was getting close with someone who traumatised Amber and because they don’t agree with his view on things. You don’t have to stay with someone you conflict with.

      Ethan is allowed to go ‘no, I don’t want to hurt Amber like that’ and is allowed to decide he is only looking for something casual right now.

      Danny isn’t *owed* a relationship with anyone and he isn’t owed people staying when they feel there is an unresolvable rift or conflict between them.

      1. abysswatcher1993

        1)The Sal stuff is already too complex because Sal became a jaded self sacrificial jerk that almost commited genocide like her mom.
        2)Dorothy could work anywhere and achieve anything, but becoming a president is something highly unrealistic, not because she is a woman, but because that is a position only available for the rich and the extremely ambitious that have connections. Even when dating Walky or hanging out with Joyce she is killing herself with overworking and barely socializing, which is a necesary skills in politics.
        3)Danny didn’t knew the full story, and Amber needs psychiatric help.
        4)Okay, Ethan can be casual, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still feel sympathetic for Willis’ cosmic puncabag.

        1. He Who Abides

          I, too, tend to feel bad for a writer’s personal punching bags. Normally it tends to be part of the greater plan, though.

          Except when Rainbow didn’t stick to their guns on keeping Mirta around on Winx Club. After the kicking she got, that decision was just bullshit.

  32. Walstafa

    Leave him alone cos the boy’s bad Drews.

  33. Dana

    Don’t rank women, Joe. 🙂

    1. Dana

      Ugh, intended as a reply to Sam.

  34. BenRG

    1) Yes, Danny is jealous;

    2) Yes, Danny is disappointed that Ethan isn’t looking for commitment at the moment.

    3) Most interesting, I think that Amber is jealous too. The question is, is she jealous of Mike or is she jealous of Ethan. There does seem to be a suggestion that she finds Mike at least physically attractive!

    1. Dracke

      No surprise, they were Married in another time line.

    2. drs

      Jealous? Amber seems the happiest we’ve seen her in all of DoA. Panels 2 and 3 are beatific. Last panel, well, she thinks Mike is hot, nothing new there.

  35. Dracke

    you can see Danny’s heartbreak at that moment

  36. Keeith

    I apologize, but. Amber in that last panel. For reals out loud belly laugh. “An Edge Lordy Sub-Reddit with ABS” snork, snort, hack cough. Oh that. was. good.

  37. Andrusi

    I misread Amber’s final line as saying “ass” and was all set to comment that an ass is easy to find in most edgelordy subreddits.

  38. Charles Phipps

    Good for Ethan. Play the field a bit before you get serious. I also like that Danny is looking for a permanent partner and has been since Dorothy.

  39. Rabisch

    Maybe Danny needs Mike’s “help” too?

  40. Zee

    Amber, your fujoshi is showing
    That bug anyone else btw? Amber’s whole creepy fujoshi, straight girl getting off on gay men thing? Like, I’ve never seen that discussed and it bothers the hell out of me. Fetishizing other people’s sexuality in general is just…ugh

    1. HeinousActsZX

      Oh, it’s creepy as hell, and not the first time this “joke” of Amber getting horny over her gay friends has come up. It’s starting to upset me that nobody in-universe is calling it out because it’s pretty gross and none of these people should be standing for it

      1. SillyGoose

        Is she getting off specifically on thme being gay, or is it just that she’s thinking about two hot, naked men, and doesn’t specifically register their sexuality? Like a threesome fantasy, and since it’s fantasy she’s discounting the fact that they would not be interested back? (or maybe Drew would? Do we know if he’s gay? Mike is bi I think? So many intrusive questions, so little time)

        1. thejeff

          She definitely writes gay slashfic, so I think it’s the idea of 2 guys together, not threesome stuff.

          I guess it’s creepy in a way, but it’s pretty common. Should she stop being turned on by it? Is it even possible to shut down kinks like that?

        2. not someone else

          She can be turned on by it all she likes in private, she just needs to stop talking about real people/relationships like they’re porn she’s currently getting off on.

          This is exactly as creepy as a dude talking about how a pair of women should make out so he can watch.

        3. thejeff

          Which she’s not doing here (she’s just blushing) and to my recollection she’s only admitted to close friends (Ethan and Danny?)

        4. StClair

          Never stopped fandom, ever.

    2. JBento

      Oh, it’s come up before:

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/04-of-mike-and-men/chummy/

    3. timemonkey

      What about Amber isn’t creepy and problematic?

    4. not someone else

      Yes, and thank you for someone else saying it. Directly comparing real people to fanfiction on the basis of their sexuality is creepy as heeeelll.

    5. thejeff

      In this case though, it might just be the thought of Mike’s abs. That’s come up before too.
      It’s the mention of those that’s tied to her blushing and biting her lip. Talking about Ethan with the other boys just gets a happy smile for her friend.

      There are certainly other scenes where it’s more explicitly the thought of two guys together is turning her on, but this one is ambiguous at best.

  41. BenRG

    Me? I’m kind of worried that Ethan is getting out of character here. I’m wondering if jumping from fancy to fancy may impact on him quite negatively after a while.

    1. timemonkey

      Meh, he’s just enjoying himself and his sexuality for the first time since he discovered it. It’s been all shame and repression and disapproval until now. He’ll calm down in a week or two, most likely, it’ll just be much longer for us.

  42. someone

    How is Drew adressing Ethan with his back turned to him, raising a hand Ethan can’t see?

  43. Pat Myers

    GIVE US DUNCAN X ETHAN!

    please?

    1. BBCC

      Why would you say something so controversial and yet so brave? 😀

    2. Valerie Holt

      My mom’s name is Pat Myers; you’re not my mom, are you?

  44. Valerie Holt

    If Ethan could come into his own, he wouldn’t need all these boytoys, AMIRITE

  45. DarkoNeko

    Mike need abs and muscle, to survive all the trashing he gotta get.

  46. ReFlex76

    HUMAN ABS

  47. SailorCakes

    I mean she aren’t wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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