162

Everywhere
Posted on January 1, 2024 by David M Willis

162 thoughts on “Everywhere”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    always inconvenient when the hot new fling shows up just as the hot new bling drops

    1. Ana Chronistic

      …guess everyone else is actually celebrating a new year or something, I forgot about this and still firsted?

      1. John Campbell

        It was 00:16 by my NTP-synched clock when the new page went up.

        1. a/snow/mous/e

          10 minutes off yeah

        2. Yumi

          Yeah, I kept refreshing the page because I had nothing better to do and, like, I’m enjoying these two, and it took a while. Maybe the comic itself was waiting for Ana to be ready.

      2. Aviator

        Its funny, I saw it empty and I considered making a comment. Then I said, nah it doesnt feel right >.> so I hit refresh and it was still empty so thats when I made my comment. Shoulda just went for it. But it doesn’t feel right if you aren’t at the top.

        1. Decidedly Orthogonal

          > But it doesn’t feel right if you aren’t at the top.

          New power bottom seduction line just dropped.

        2. David DeLaney

          add to CART o gods

      3. Miri

        Some of us live in a timezone where this comic updates around 5AM.

        I am sometimes up then but it’s usually because there is a child sobbing and I need to fix a problem. Sometimes insomnia. Sometimes am inability to get back to sleep after fixing problems for sad, tired children… I generally intend to be asleep then.

    2. GholaHalleck

      Cockblocked by waspinator again…

    3. David DeLaney

      and just when the hot new fling was about to drop, too

  2. Aviator

    EMPTY COMMENT SECTION

    1. a/snow/mous/e

      HAPPY TWO QUEERS

      1. Jo_cubstar

        Happy two queers to you!!!

        1. a/snow/mous/e

          <3

  3. Bootshivers

    A man of integrity

    1. Jeremiah

      Hope he stay away from highways for now.

  4. Doctor_Who

    Plot twist: Asher somehow finds this even hotter.

    1. Theluxland

      Imagine if this happened like 20 minutes earlier and Ethan just stopped doing the do and be like ”Hang on” and leaving Asher god knows how long to do the preorders

  5. RacingTurtle

    …Ethan

    1. anon

      inconsiderate-ness aside it’s good that he’s held on to some old hobbies/interests as opposed to completely not carying anymore lol

      1. Jamie

        ^

        1. Decidedly Orthogonal

          ??

      2. Vanessa

        Yes, here’s our old Ethan. He’s still there, such a good boy.

      3. Thag Simmons

        Didn’t he make a big emo speech about Dinobot the second we first saw his big post-timeskip Emo makeover

    2. Thag Simmons

      Let Auld acquaintance not be forget and ne’er brought tae mind

      1. elebenty

        “…Ain’t Tra-ans-formers fine?”

  6. Sirksome

    Is the emo hot enough to offset the Transformers obsession?…. Maybe.

    1. Yumi

      But what if Asher is or becomes also obsessed with Transformers and it’s just a plus? The attraction might become too powerful, and he’ll burst into flames.

      1. Doctor_Who

        I’m pretty sure Asher getting into something that nerdy would be the final straw that sinks him and Jennifer for good.

        Yes, I think she’d be a lot more bothered by him having a Starscream on his desk than the infidelity.

        1. Thag Simmons

          Jennifer also absolutely has a Kit Fisto action figure on her desk.

        2. thejeff

          Nah. It’s in a drawer where no one can see it.

      2. Sirksome

        Nothing hotter than fact checking the Transformers wiki at 3 am in your undies with your bf.

        1. StClair

          why he was in my undies

          wait, I do know the answer to this one

        2. David DeLaney

          the undies were cosplaying

        3. darkgloomie

          Isn’t that how Mile first hooked up with Ethan?

    2. anon

      given how much fandom has expanded i’m sure there’s an overlap of ’emo boys’ and transformers fans the same way there are gothic weebs lol

      1. Jo_cubstar

        There 100% is an overlap of emos n transformers lovers. Reference: I am one.

      2. elebenty

        As opposed to the Francophile ouibs.

    3. Doctor_Who

      I wonder if there are any emo Transfo-Cyclonus.

      Was right in the middle of typing my question when the answer presented itself.

      1. Thag Simmons

        So is Asher Tailgate or Whirl?

  7. anon

    lol the ‘nerdery’ is real but i’m sure ppl have done this as like a tactic XD; tho i suppose you could still touch him otherwise XD;

  8. Grimey

    Ah, Ethan using tfsource.

    Don’t ask me how I know that.

    I’M NOT ON TRIAL HERE.

  9. NGPZ

    Happy new year!!!! ?

    1. NGPZ

      Gonna play some Nuclear Throne, that’s bound to do something…

      *plays “Yung Venus” by Jukio Kallio on hacked muzak

      1. True Survivor

        Happy New Year! The distinction maybe arbitrary, but the motivation to improve is (at least temporarily) real – and desperately needed if I’m going to be honest with myself.

        1. NGPZ

          I gotta learn better ways to self-medicate, and to actually play video games
          (I haven’t played an actual game besides spelunky in MONTHS what)

          Also if anyone got any viable guides on cannabis micro-dosing for anxiety that would be highly appreciated ;-;

    2. Doctor_Who

      Happy new year to you!

      And happy new pre-orders to Ethan!

  10. StClair

    Priorities.

  11. Dara

    ha HAAAAAAAAAAAAA [BAM] and the comments section is OUTTA HERE

    he’s still an eternal transformers nerd, hot emo nihilist or not xD

    1. Dara

      seriously I’m just seeing everyone who usually comments on this getting the anime mass knockback and it’s glorious

      1. David DeLaney

        slowly, a crowd of commenters who were all staring up at the sky and yelling, in perfect synchronization fall over onto their backs

  12. Laura

    Umm. Yeah. OK, Ethan. That kind of “hold that thought” is a -1 on the sexy scale, OK? But I understand. A guy’s gotta have his priorities!

    Asher’s like, “Wait, what? What is this?” *Grimaces*

    1. Jo_cubstar

      Or +10 if you’re also neurodiverse and into the same fandom and respect the commitment to the hobby.

      1. Laura

        Well, yeah, obviously! ;-D
        Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of the “each time I’m still alive.”
        Expressing a disattachment to life may be sexy to some. Not to me, though, these days.

    2. Tan

      Asher over here like “Am I getting pranked right now?”

    3. Li

      Yeah, I’m sure being easily dismissed for anything at all wouldn’t have helped, but the muttering under his breath about how he doesn’t want to be alive is… mmmmm. Less seductive self-destruction.

  13. John Campbell

    It’s good to see that Ethan is still Ethan.

  14. Kyrik Michalowski

    Ethan may be depressed, but his weirdness lives on. Though it takes a special kind of weird to choose transformers over sexy times.
    Also,
    HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

    1. NGPZ

      *plays “Transformers Movie Theme” by Lion on hacked muzak*

    2. True Survivor

      Special kind of weird? Its smashing wet tissues together and maybe getting a terrible disease VS Robots that Turn into Awesome Cars and Planes (or maybe its the other way around?). I think that choice is pretty obvious.

      1. CallynD

        They also turn into Dinosaurs and Cheetahs. And Wasps. There are far less cool Transformers than Waspinator.

        1. StClair

          but few less fortunate.

        2. Decidedly Orthogonal

          True, but also much cooler ones. Megatron was frozen in ice for an age.

  15. DailyBrad

    I am kind of glad none of what I collect has preorder time issues, really. The figures I want tend to be pretty commonly available, but I know it can get real rough with exclusives.

    1. Decidedly Orthogonal

      I learned a little while ago some folks collect the little tabs from bread bags even. So I can be more surprised than I thought. ? Sub-cultures tend to be pretty cool and a neat place to learn stuff. So, if it’s ok to ask…

      what do you collect?

  16. Bittersweet

    Y’know, given that Asher likes butt taco shirts and presumably enjoyed listening to Jennifer talk about Star Wars and Kit Fisto (if she talked about it with Raidah, she probably talked about it with Asher at one point), he might find such nerdiness a massive plus, he seems to have a fun dorky side to him.

    [Star Wars and it’s non-movie lore isn’t really a niche nerd thing irl anymore, not in the same ways it was, is it still one in DOA though?]

    1. True Survivor

      I think the fact that cartoons are often still dismissed by the public and that the non-movie lore is deep enough that it still meets with the definition of niche nerd thing, which I would propose is roughly: an area of knowledge which seems like it would be beloved only by children but possess sufficient complexity to only be deeply understood by obsessively devoted teenagers and adults.

  17. CrimsonStorm

    DAMN YOU WILLIS

  18. AbacusWizard

    throw your phone off a cliff, Ethan

  19. Nono

    He’s hot and he’s cold, yes and then TRANSFORMERS

    1. cbwroses

      He’s hot and he’s cold.
      He’s yes and he’s no.
      He’s in and he’s out.
      He’s up and – OOH Transformers!

  20. Jo_cubstar

    I do collect transformers… But all the ones I want tend to be from the 80s so I have to go to classic toy cons to find them. Found a cassette man last time and that was excellent

  21. Wendy

    *neil cicierga’s ariel voice* “Ohhh I can’t not fuck him”

    1. Holly

      Thanks for this comment, had not seen it – have now!

  22. bejouled

    Does the right side of the comment look weird to anyone else? It cuts off after what would be half of Ethan’s face, except that his face is covered by some dark blob. Is that just the way my phone loaded?

    1. bejouled

      I guess the dark blob is Ethan’s hair but it’s weird we can’t see his face at all

    2. bejouled

      Also, right side of the comic, not comment. It’s late.

    3. Thomas

      You’re right. He’s got a hole in his face that might be a portal to another dimension. That emo look sure ain’t flattering.

    4. june gloom

      That’s kind of the joke, he’s essentially wandered off the scene.

    5. Decidedly Orthogonal

      No, you’re right. That’s the wrong side of him to be looking at. It’s because he’s turned his back on Asher to geek out on his toys.

      Little did he know, this tactic seems to work on Asher quite well (see Ms. Billingsworth’s behaviour). At least, it does until Asher realizes it’s bullshit/abusive.

      Remember folks, if you come from abuse (like me), “it feels like home,” is a
      VERY BAD THING.

      Don’t settle for familiarity. You deserve to be loved, just for being you.

      1. David DeLaney

        next panel Asher is clearly looking back at Ethan’s back again … but _down_

    6. HueSatLight

      he’s out of the shot because he’s out of the moment.

  23. Amós Batista

    ugh, one more heartbreaker has awaken…

  24. Nathan

    It’s fascinating to see how much of Willis’ autobiography we’re getting in this comic.

  25. tim gueguen

    And then Ethan disappeared, never to be seen in the comic again.

  26. Bleuryder

    “Excuse me, but this slipshine is gonna have to wait til I pre-order my transformers. I hope you realize we WILL be fucking on top of my bootleg transformers plushies?”

    1. Schpoonman

      “Dina banned me from banging dudes on top of her velociraptor bed plush, but I think if I say it’s for an emotionally positive reason she’ll let me have this one.”

  27. Mym

    Ethan 100% has a personality.
    He’s just depressed and destructive

    1. The Jighole Man

      ethan’s depression has been ignore and allowed to fester.
      While everybody else has at least had someone to talk to, ethan seems to have been basically left alone to rot and wither.

      1. DashWallkick

        Amber and Booster are trying their best. Ethan doesn’t *want* to be talked to.

      2. Sam

        Ethan doesn’t WANT to get better right now. Amber and Booster HAVE tried to talk to him.

        No one can save you from yourself if you want to let yourself drown. You can’t save someone who has chosen to drown.

        If they don’t want to swim to shore, you can’t MAKE them. No one wants to hear it, but you CAN’T SAVE SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T WANT SAVED.

        Some people will get so enraptured in the misery of a death of a single person, they will never live life again. Ethan is a comic strip character, so he likely will recover, but some people will spend the rest of their lives miserable no matter how many people try to help them because they don’t really WANT to be okay ever again.

  28. Suet

    I see Ethan still has some Willisms intact. And I’m sure he’s encountered the same login problem before.

    Gee, I wonder what 2024 will bring us?

    1. NGPZ

      A storyline that’s hornier than usual at the very least.

      And hopefully more Dina, I really miss her ????

      1. Decidedly Orthogonal

        A storyline that’s hornier than usual Slag¹
        at the very least.

        FTFY ?

        1. Triceratops Dinobot

        p.s. Seems someone has griefed the Dinowiki. Renamed the Dinobots on the summary picture.

    2. sakamism

      Predictions: At least two of the couples who haven’t consummated their relationship (Ethan/Asher, Joe/Joyce, Sal/Danny) will do so.

      At least one couple will break up.

      Walky will be prescribed Adderall.

      Dorothy will drop out and join a rock band.

      1. Taffy

        Dorothy and the Crushed Dreamers will go on a nation-wide road trip, playing gigs for hotel/dinner/gas money.

        1. Miri

          I hear that band name and picture Joyce playing the tambourine with a flower circlet in her hair, triangle grin in place…

          Rock, it is not.

        2. clif

          Besides, we know that if Dorothy dropped out it would be to START a rock band.

          Ethan is still Ethan and Dorothy is still Dorothy.

        3. Schpoonman

          If (Don’t Fear) The Reaper can have cowbell, their rock band can have tambourine. Besides, Elphelt just dropped and she’s a death metal vocalist. Her voice artist’s scream in Elphelt’s win screen is fantastic.

      2. Bleuryder

        All kidding aside, I think someone will have a massive emotional breakdown. The type where you end up at a mental hospital, and I think that person will be Dorothy. All of the crew needs emotional help after what happened, but Dorothy is absolutely not doing well and might need more help than the others if it seems more subtle, since she’s alone.

  29. Fay

    I’m realized Asher has a type: hot, dark, self-destructive, and secretly a huge nerd.

    1. Jeremiah

      In Ethan case it’s not really that much of a secret, it’s just the first time Asher seen it. Who know, maybe this will turn him off enough to reconsider banging the walking red flag (it will probably not).

      1. Thag Simmons

        It was a secret to him

      2. Decidedly Orthogonal

        > the walking red flag

        Catch the hot new series this fall. Only on AMC.

  30. DashWallkick

    Ethan might crave death from his misery but he’s still Ethan.

  31. UrsulaDavina

    Priorities!

  32. BBCC

    Happy new year everybody!

    Honestly, I’m just relieved to know that this part of Ethan is still there. All’s not lost yet.

  33. Kim

    Happy New Year!✨? Don’t blow this, Asher, please!
    (But -him- instead^^)

  34. Cloud

    This is the new year’s yaoi I crave

  35. Taffy

    Ethan is the least believable character in this comic. Who the fuck preorders a toy with this much urgency?

    1. AGV

      Definitely not me ??

    2. Daibhid C

      Well, quite.

      That sort of urgency should be reserved for pre-ordering comics. And possibly fictional postage stamps.

    3. Schpoonman

      Ever since Mass Effect 3 I think the only games I’ve preordered with urgency were Japanese. AC6 is the only one coming to mind right now, though.

    4. Mym

      Watching Willis’ Twitter, I would say: David Willis does

      Additionally, my cousin Dave who is a transformers fan as well

      Those toys sell out fast on preorder

    5. Bleuryder

      Well not for a pre-order, but I did leave an ex-boyfriend hanging because in my online gaming days, I was waiting for a monster that spawned every 24 hours to pop. We got bored waiting for it. So we started fooling around, the alarm on my game went off (it spawned) so I left him hanging, killed the thing, claimed my loot, logged off to go back to him (he was not amused), and attempted to finish what I had started (it did not end well).

      I completely understand Ethan here.

      And for those wondering, we broke up. Unrelated to this incident though.

  36. AGV

    “Oh my god, all my crushes are nerds”

    Happy new year everyone!

    1. Schpoonman

      Have Asher and Amber ever met?

      1. Schpoonman

        The only reason Asher hasn’t spent literally every second since meeting Sal in college pining after her is because he subconsciously recognizes she’s not a nerd at all.

        1. Schpoonman

          And also in the time it took for me to write this comment I forgot Sal and Danny got together.

        2. Decidedly Orthogonal

          That doesn’t make Sal a nerd though. It just shows what she and Asher have in common.

          Now, being into Roller Derby might make her a geek, depending on how into the meta she is. Thus far though, that seems to be a no.

        3. Yumi

          While that doesn’t make Sal a nerd, it DOES raise the idea of Danny and Asher in my mind, and I love Sal and Danny, don’t get me wrong, but if maybe Asher got incorporated into things in some capacity…

        4. David DeLaney

          Ethan decides everyone can have a little Asher, as a treat

  37. Mr. Random

    Happy New Year!
    A remibder that Ethan, no matter how depressed, is still Ethan.

    1. BadRoad

      Transformers may not fill the empty void in his soul, but he’s willing to let them try.

      1. Zaxares

        Well of course not… He needs the Matrix of Leadership for that. 😉

  38. reed

    well some things never change i suppose.

  39. morhek

    “Is having to compete for Ethan’s attention with transformers more or less demeaning than having to compete for Jennifer’s attention with absolutely nothing?”

    1. Mym

      Since he’s not dating Ethan, there aren’t any actual expectations set

      So Jennifer is still worse and is actively demeaning him

      But I wonder which models Ethan is buying

  40. JessWitt

    Ethan is a man of contrasts.

    1. Decidedly Orthogonal

      Seems like only extreme ones indeed. White/black. Sexy times/transformers.

      Hmmm… after legos (obviously), would transformers be the next worst thing to fuck atop?

      1. NickG

        If we’re talking toys, Jacks are the same shape as caltrops.

  41. Acher4

    Happy New Year! 🙂

  42. Dara

    Happy New Year! Also, our weather in Seattle didn’t really cooperate and we had an inversion layer and no wind which means all the firework smoke got grouped together at the Space Needle and it totally looks like ALIENS!!1! and I love it.

  43. Bryy

    Asher, you’re dating Jennifer, don’t act like this shit is new.

  44. Andrews

    One website login closer to death

  45. Steamweed

    “Where do you wanna go?”
    “Garbage roof.”
    “Where’s that?”
    “I don’t know. I don’t know even what it is. I just heard someone mentioning it.”

    1. Mym

      I think Ethan is too destructive to hang out on roofs right now
      Might push Asher off for adrenaline

  46. DarkoNeko

    ..Ethan

  47. Wraithy2773

    “…each time I’m still alive.”

    …I’m not the only one seeing those words, right? Like, I get the “they’re awful for each other but I love it” impulse, I can’t say no to Disaster Lesbians, but this has to be setting off all sorts of red flags for people…

    1. Daibhid C

      I mean, it’s not setting off any new red flags for me. It’s pointing urgently at the one that popped up on “I should try to persist long enough” though.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Yeah, I don’t like what he’s been hinting at.

      Poor kid needs an effective therapist.

  48. Yeet

    Ethan.
    Buddy.
    Pal.
    Friend.
    Acquaintance.
    Webcomic character I relate to a bit.
    For the love of any gods that may or may not exist, man, please do NOT get distracted by nerd shite while you’re trying to fuck. I’m gonna relate to you too much and you’re gonna be even sadder.

    1. ValdVin

      It could be worse. What if Ethan only started blushing after breaking his deep, soulful gaze with Asher? If the Transformers alarm was the thing which made him blush?

      1. Mym

        Maybe he started blushing because his body remembered the sale before his brain

  49. Nicoleandmaggie

    I’m glad Ethan has a reason to live.

  50. David DeLaney

    if you look closely at the last panel
    Asher’s cheeks are _still_ blushy

    –Dave, “why is this a kink I didn’t realize I had till right this moment”

  51. Needfuldoer

    Yup, he’s still Ethan.

  52. Anon A Mouse

    Isn’t this a bit like what Jennifer just did? Blew off their emotional connection in a blatantly disregarding way? Seems like a “bad to worse” situation, considering he really has no connection to Ethan other than cheating.

    1. Mym

      Well, Ethan owes him nothing, they’re just fucking around and cheating

      That being said, if Jennifer told him “hold on, I got an Ulta sale, be right back with you” it’d be 1000% different than “go away you’re garbage to me”

    2. HueSatLight

      not saying horniness isn’t an emotion, but the [putative] connections between Asher and Jennifer vs Asher and Ethan are not the same kind of connection.

  53. thumb

    Asher just feeling jerked around every which way. Supervillain origin story in the works.

  54. Dday

    Cut to Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds all shaking and bellowing and cross-eyed with rage

  55. zee

    It’s somehow relieving that he’s still like this

  56. David DeLaney

    the little square for ‘Magical How’ on the Hiveworks comics banner under the comic is eerily similar to the top half of Ethan’s face here

    –Dave, clearly Willis has infected other comic artists, half a year in advance

    1. David DeLaney

      also – Willis doesn’t very often use a title for a strip that isn’t fully spoken in the strip, does he?

  57. Icalasari

    I am SO glad Ethan is still addicted

    …Wow that sounds bad

  58. HueSatLight

    unlike Blaine, he might have dodged a bullet here.

  59. James

    The million dollar question, is Asher put off by the geek thing, or because this makes it clear where he actually stands in Ethan’s priorities?

    1. anon

      I mean he vibed with walky and owns a butt taco shirt, i’m sure hes got some nerd-adjacent interests of his own even if it’s not the the extent of amber/ethan’s interests in stuff (tho jen was a ‘secret’? star wars nerd too)

  60. Felian

    I’m somehow not really concerned with Asher *cheating* after Jennifer basically said he’s not her boyfriend. And also kinda said she doesn’t care if he’s making out with guys. It’s certainly not the best relationship communication, but it doesn’t sound like a committed monogamous relationship either. So…. i’m kinda rooting for Asher and Ethan now. Would i recommend this kind of behaviour to my friends? Absolutely not. But i want to see this in a comic 😀

  61. Bo

    After everything…

    It’s still you.

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