433

Exchange
Posted on August 8, 2017 by David M Willis

433 thoughts on “Exchange”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    I’d say that was anticlimactic, but I’m sure it could get VERY climactic shortly

    1. shadowcell

      a common problem with boys

      1. Androiddreams

        Especially boys who are named mike

        1. Joyous ☿

          I doubt Joyce wouldn’t have mentioned it when if it was mike. She implied it was someone she didn’t know. Also, I know mike’s a jerk, but he has some standards!

        2. desolation0

          For the right price.

        3. Goshii

          Now in the future, if Mary becomes a mom, how many nickels would it take for Mike to do her?

        4. Gojira

          Mike wouldn’t do Mary, she’s more the type he would train a scurry of squirrels to rape her.

        5. Hana

          Let’s not be the person who says things like that. Somehow, I am guessing that this is not the right place to make jokes about rape.

        6. Mortartarsaus

          What if Mike trained a scurry of squirrels to wear a trench coat, impersonate him, seduce Mary, and then reveal themselves to be said scurry of squirrels after giving Mary the best orgasm of her life, past or future?

        7. Dandi_Andi

          @Mortartarsaus, that’s still sex under false pretenses which, frankly, is not better than using force or coercion. Mary enjoying it does not justify the deception.

        8. Delicious Taffy

          You can’t arrest squirrels.

        9. nightsbridge

          His standards are a nickel or spite.

        10. UniqueSnowflake2

          Does Joyce actually know Mike?

        11. saltchocolate

          She was dating his best (only?) friend.

        12. saltchocolate

          Also, remember her hilarious date with Joe, when she asked Mike along to punch Joe anytime he got the least bit sexual? She definitely knows him!

        13. UniqueSnowflake2

          Right; I forgot about that.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        It is too premature to assume that.

      3. AlexDenton

        Owwwww nice one XD

    2. Bagge

      Well, it would have been until Joyce interrupted them.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Joyous Interruptius

        1. Fire_daws

          Don’t you mean Joyce-ous Interruptius?

      2. Emperor Norton II

        Considering she’s already a clam-jam, there should be no surprise she’s also a cock-block.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Can she block other genders or only male and female ones.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          I think it’s more of a genital block. So, unless I’ve somehow missed some sort of genitalia DLC pack, she really can’t block more than the two. Maybe both at once, in some cases.

        3. Vivid Grim

          this actually may be the first time I’ve seen someone who buys into cissexism while also believing there’s more than two sexes. impressive

        4. Gojira

          The three genders are male, female and blue.

        5. N0083rp00F

          I thought that was a flavor in the burning category – Ralph Wiggum

        6. thejeff

          The genders are up, down, strange, charm, top, and bottom.

        7. Psyme

          Those aren’t genders, those are flavors of quark.
          I like strawberry quark, personally. It goes great on bagels.

        8. gwalla

          Everybody get up it’s time to slam now
          We got a real jam goin’ down
          Welcome to the Clam Jam
          Here’s your chance, do your dance at the Clam Jam
          Alright….

    3. Ana Chronistic

      I came back here b/c I remembered my “more like a CARbecue!!” punchline, then it didn’t make sense but I’M ALREADY HERE so

  2. AnvilPro

    Another case cracked by Detective Joyce!

    1. miados

      is it bad I could still see her thinking “now we just have to figure out who she likes….”

    2. Griffin

      Truly the world’s greatest sleuth.

  3. Doctor_Who

    Panel three needs to be the next book title.

    So, who’s the (un)lucky guy? Someone we know?

    1. Toad

      I have a baaaaaaad feeling about this.

      1. Yumi

        Let’s play a game:
        Who would be the worst guy for Mary to be making out with?

        1. Doctor_Who

          Ross.

        2. Durandal_1707

          Faz

        3. pjeseb

          Faz

        4. Some1

          Howard

        5. Andrew_C

          Yup, definitely Howard. This is another ploy by Mary to hurt Ruth & Billie, & I don’t think Joyce has met Howard

        6. Shade

          Hasn’t Howard left with their grandfather already?

        7. Shiro

          I’m gonna say John Brown, because 1.) awful person to start with, 2.) infidelity, and 3.) familial drama for Joyce

          But he’s not an IU student, so I doubt it’s him. He’s just the worst guy it could be.

        8. Yumi

          I’d also like to think that Joyce would have recognized him, but who knows.

        9. maxyai

          Is it bad that my mind first went to “John Brown’s body lies a’ moldering in the grave”

        10. Yumi

          I didn’t know of the song, but my first thought upon reading “John Brown” was, “The abolitionist?”
          So I don’t think it’s bad.

        11. Opus the Poet

          Ryan. Not likely B/C he’s either in ICU or jail now, but most definitely the worst person for Mary to be making out with.

        12. DrWattson

          Plus, Joyce was within arm’s reach of him and didn’t have the urge to strangle him.

        13. miados

          and managed to get into marys room without every other girl in the dorm area seeing and trying to kill him.

        14. Goki

          One of Ryan’s “Bro’s”, possibly even the person who saved him that one night.

        15. dn3s

          yep, you win. horrifying and plausible

        16. miados

          walky

        17. Socks

          Galasso, maybe. Dude’s twice her age, happily married, and may possibly not understand how sex or even gender anything works.

          Ooh oh oh or Ethan. Like, oh man. He, in particular, doesn’t need that.

        18. Dean

          Toedad.

        19. Plasma Mongoose

          Jesus?

        20. Victor

          And my thoughts go to…

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBKQL6f5sec

        21. Plasma Mongoose

          Not sure if that counts as heresy or not. 😛

        22. Andrew_C

          Always loved Drop Dead Gorgeous. Always surprised it wasn’t more popular.

        23. Dean

          Historical Jesus!

        24. Needfuldoer

          Does Peter Paul exist in the DoA-verse?

        25. JessWitt

          I heard he was seen in a Patreon comic so yes he’s enrolled in IU.

        26. John

          Yes.

        27. Yotomoe

          The Devil.

        28. Clif

          Head Alien.

        29. keithcurtis

          You mean Dexter?

        30. Gojira

          Ryan’s getaway driver.

        31. Clif

          Worst guy? Jason.

    2. Yotomoe

      Alright I admit it. It’s me. Fundies are hot, I’m sorry!

      1. Some1

        Mary would entice me for the same reason teenage girls sometimes go for the bad boy, an idiotic belief that I can help change her. Also she’s an artist, and can be clever when she wants to be (well manipulative…but that’s still a form of cleverness)

        1. dn3s

          she’s an artist?

        2. Yumi

          Or she’s in the wrong major.

        3. Some1

          Her current style is anime

        4. Needfuldoer

          Classes haven’t beaten the DeviantArt out of her drawing style yet.

        5. John

          It is still my headcanon that most of her drawings are of Sonic the Hedgehog prostrating himself before a cross.

        6. thejeff

          With a few sexy Ronald Reagan ones.

        7. Goshii

          Sonic and Reagan team up to take out the evil communists Robotnik and Hilary, while teaching us life lessons about how people who are different than us are evil. Sonic Says Jack Chick knows all!

        8. Clif

          Someone, that’s a magnificent level of self-delusion. I’m impressed.

        9. Some1

          Doesn’t saying it’s idiotic cancel out any self delusion?

          I would never actually date her, lord knows how that would go, I’m just attracted to evil

      2. Koms

        Gotta see that fanpic

    3. Dana

      My vote is still “way too many of my problems can’t be solved by punching.”
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/foster/

      1. TheGrammarLegionary

        I don’t know, I’d at least consider panel 6 here. Kinda suits a lot of what’s going on.

    4. ESM

      Probably not. Most male characters of important Joyce already knows, so shocking pairing like Mary/Ryan are out (and that one doesn’t make sense on basically any level). It’s either a new character, or someone so minor they might as well be new.

      If I had to guess where this plotline is going (and I don’t, but I wanna), it’s that the Mystery Boy makes Mary a happier, much less evil person, and then she’s going to fuck everything up in a major way when she finds out he’s Jewish or something.

      1. brasca1

        She’d probably handle that the same way Joyce did except she’ll be more convinced she can convert him.

  4. Miguel

    Well, that explains half of it.

  5. Haven

    Dorks.

  6. Romanticide

    Somehow I cannot help but feel it cannot be that easy with Mary….

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Mary isn’t easy?

      Good to know I guess.

  7. Knightsword

    Please don’t say he has red hair…

    1. Doctor_Who

      She’s dating a Weasley?

      I bet it’s fucking Percy.

      1. Yumi

        But, like, pre-end of Deathly Hallows Percy.
        Percy from when he was real prat.

      2. Knightsword

        I thinking Howard.

        1. brionl

          Howard Weasley? Is he one of the cousins or something?

  8. Cerberus

    Man this is really subtle. Do you think Mary has someone she’s interested in? I can’t make heads or tails out of this one.

    1. StClair

      it is a mystery

    2. Emperor Norton II

      It’s misery wrapped in an enema.

      Or something like that. I mean, Mary’s involved, so it might just be.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        The Riddler?

      2. Delicious Taffy

        Did you mean “enigma”? Because otherwise, that’s some gross imagery.

        1. ValdVin

          Could be autocorrect. Of course that raises questions also, ones which I will not type enema multiple times, out of context, to find out about.

        2. Jason

          I’ve had some weird autocorrect of words I don’t use often. Nothing springs to mind, but really random everyday words being swapped with other random words that I don’t use. I have no idea why.

        3. Li

          Yeah, me too. I kinda think autocorrect is half learning your typing, half a global database.

        4. ValdVin

          Fair enough; I suppository it could happen to anyone.

        5. Emperor Norton II

          …It appears that the phrase “mystery wrapped in an enigma” and (more importantly) its potential for punniness is less known than I thought it was.

        6. TheHorseCouncil

          I got it. But I like watching other people not get it.

        7. UniqueSnowflake2

          *whoosh*

        8. Delicious Taffy

          That’s Strike 1, my friend.

        9. davidbreslin101

          It’s from Churchill’s famous speech about how he was out on his stag night, right, and his a$$hole of a brother dragged them all to this medical-themed BDSM club and he wasn’t really into that scene.

        10. Delicious Taffy

          See, I don’t know anything about Churchill, so I can’t tell if that’s true or not.

        11. ruhrow

          I think the fact that both ‘misery’ and ‘enema’ are swapped in, it’s a play on words converting mysterious things to miserable ones.

        12. Clif

          The emperor would never do that to *us*.

        13. Emperor Norton II

          This is akin to having thought, at some point:

          “David Willis would never make a Slipshine showing Mary having a ‘private moment’ thinking about Reagan.”

    3. Yotomoe

      Mary is so tight lipped about her relationship. The boy she was kissing knows that better than anyone.

      1. Cerberus

        Oh, that is well-played. I love it!

    4. zoelogical

      naaaaaaaaaaaaaah

    5. Reltzik

      Sound like SHE’S making heads or tails out of it.

      …..

      …. I don’t know EXACTLY what that means, but it sounds dirty so I’m going with it.

      1. UniqueSnowflake2

        What do you mean, you don’t know what it means? Is the guy getting some head, or some tail?

        1. Reltzik

          Given that SHE’S making heads or tails? …. neither? It just doesn’t match up grammatically, does it?

  9. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    . . . Catapult Suit? . . As in Shoulder Mounted or. . .How would this work?

    1. Shiro

      Doesn’t matter, motherfucking catapult suit

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Is it a suit with catapults attached or a suit you wear when you are catapluted?

        1. A Scientist

          Perhaps it is designed to catapult targets away from the wearer?

        2. Delicious Taffy

          I mean, if you wear it when it launches you, it’s both of those.

      2. Ferret

        Trebuchet suit would be better.

    2. Tacos

      In my mind, I expect chest-mounted so she can throw pies at people like in Shortpacked.

    3. Orion Fury

      I was worried that no one would have challenged her to build one. Would have been unacceptable otherwise. Glaad it was done inside 3 minutes.

    4. Lingo

      What came to my mind was something you’d wear that would somehow catapult YOURSELF….yeah I have no idea what that would look like either.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Bonus points if you do the Goofy Holler in midair.

        1. N0083rp00F

          YAAAAAAA-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooey!

      2. A Scientist

        Seems like a pull yourself up by your bootstraps sort of proposition, doesn’t it?

        1. N0083rp00F

          That is usually how you end up face down in whatever you were stuck in, in the first place.
          Just try it. I ain’t kidding. Just bend over or crouch down and grab that strap, or if you don’t have them then just the back of your shoe and pull upwards and see how much altitude you gain.

      3. Miri

        I imagine it has some sort of springy rod you pull down, at great tension, to ground level, at which point you’re on tiptoes with it supporting your weight, and then when you pull the lever it releases the tension and launches you (with a dampening and folding mechanism so the rod folds up and tucks back into your suit rather than breaking your nose)…

    5. Fart Captor

      Clearly it grabs Mary and catapults her into the nearest dumpster

    6. Zer0

      I think you first gather some cats. Then put on a suit to look real snazzy. Then get to pulting. That’s where I get confused. But Maybe Carla will show us what she means.

      1. N0083rp00F

        I thought that it was already documented as the sound the cat makes on interaction, at speed, with any solid vertical surface. “PULT”

        1. merbrat

          THAT needed a *beverage warning*

    7. davidbreslin101

      Works exactly the same as a chainsaw suit, of course. Only with catapults.

  10. caesaria82

    lmaooooo. Everything about this strip is amazing.

  11. Shiro

    …Billie, you’re the journalism major in this room, yes? I’m gonna need you to explain to Joyce what BURYING THE LEDE is

    1. drs

      Joyce retorts with “comedic timing”.

    2. Dean

      It’s ‘burying the lead’, as in ‘lead story’.

      1. CorporateDronesDontHaveMissiles

        You’d think so, but nope.

        https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/bury-the-lede-versus-lead

      2. Shiro

        Google disagrees

        1. dn3s

          *Grammarist disagrees

          according to a whois lookup, the domain grammarist.com was registered using GoDaddy.com, with DNS hosted by CloudFlare. The A record points to a CloudFlare (reverse proxy?) server.

          According to their About page, their website is hosted by a company called WPEngine, which I can’t verify because of the CloudFlare reverse proxy. But, it’s safe to say that they are probably not owned, or hosted by Google.

        2. Shiro

          No one likes a pedant.

        3. hof1991

          Everyone likes a pendant, just different pendants.

        4. MatthewTheLucky

          Not everyone wears necklaces.

        5. LynziGraye

          How about Mirriam-Webster, then?

          https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/bury-the-lede-versus-lead

      3. Sarah Lea

        Just chiming in: My journalist (newspaper) husband also disagrees. (He gently, but emphatically, votes “Lede”; He’s also generally horribly apt to bury it. “Where is your journalistic training when I need it!?” – Me)

      4. DSL

        The journalist term of art is “lede.” It’s internal jargon to avoid confusion with the word “lead” either as the verb or as the metal.
        And judging by the smoldering wreck that is the paper I used to be proud of working for, “burying the lede” isn’t the sin it once was.

      5. N0083rp00F

        Not “Dropping the dead Donkey”?

        I remember that one from an old Britcoms I used to watch ages ago.
        You know, one of those comedy shows that get plagiarized by Hollywood, has the name changed, and idioted down for the American audience.

  12. Cattleprod

    Huh, I guess that kills my theory, ‘brain parasites’. Unless it’s the parasites that are in love with this boy.

    1. Yotomoe

      Maybe the boy is actually just a very large brain parasite who learned to love…or just wants the quickest way to the brain through the mouth.

      1. shammers

        This is definitely an episode of Rick and Morty. Mr poopybutthead!

    2. Dean

      The brain parasites are transmitted by kissing.

      1. Yotomoe

        Why does no one teach about shit like this in sex ed?

        1. BBCC

          Dunno about you, but my high school did. Right after the part where your dick will fall off into an alternate dimension full of dogs ready to eat it, but right before ‘you’ll get knocked up and die’.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          That’s a Family Guy reference. I expect better from you.

        3. Ferret

          I’d argue it’s counterbalanced by the Mean Girls reference.

        4. Delicious Taffy

          Chlamydia, though…

        5. BBCC

          It’s an awful awful show, but it’s on right before Bob’s Burgers, I have a bad case of Bile Fascination, and that was just so over the top it fit my hyperbole perfectly.

    3. Delicious Taffy

      Mary ate a bad egg sandwich.

    4. a/snow mous/e

      Brain parasites? What is this, Higurashi? :p

  13. Stephen Bierce

    *plays The Power Station’s “Some Like It Hot” on the hacked Muzak*

  14. Tacos

    Given Mary’s personality, I don’t think I want to know who’s the guy.

  15. Sam

    Joyce didn’t screw up in any harmful way! *Throws confetti*

  16. Shiro

    So, taking bets on who the boy is. Someone we’ve seen? Someone from IU? Someone new?

    1. DrWattson

      I’m calling it now: some one-off character from waaaaay back in, like, the Roomies!-era. That or someone completely new that has yet to be seen.

      1. Shiro

        Are there any spare Roomies characters we haven’t seen yet?

        1. Opus the Poet

          Sober-nice Mike from the store on the other side of the mall from Shortpacked?

        2. Regalli

          Well there was Mary’s canonical fling dude, Peter Paul.

        3. DrWattson

          Or maybe Eric AKA Uncharismatic Ryan North.

        4. BBCC

          We’re also seen her other beau, Eric running around.

        5. Krys Brynhildr

          Having sex with Mike on the side even.

        6. butting

          Oooh, I like this candidate. Mary’s trying to Joyce him, without the first clue of how that worked out for either Joyce or Ethan?

          Except, of course, Mary’s the anti-Joyce, and there’s a calamity ahead.

          Alsoplus, Joyce: when your opponent is making a mistake, do not interrupt.

        7. BBCC

          It’s also possible Eric’s into multiple genders.

      2. lia47

        i bet reagan from shortpacked

    2. Rectilinear Propagation

      It isn’t anyone Joyce knows, otherwise she wouldn’t have said ‘the boy’.

    3. Lingo

      Without spoiling anything, there was at least one guy besides Danny that Mary showed interest in in the Walkyverse. So probably that guy.

      1. zoelogical

        who was that guy

    4. Kamino Neko

      Mike. In disguise. A moustache and ill-fitted wig.

      1. Loki

        Your avatar is oddly appropriate for this guess.

        1. MatthewTheLucky

          Catgirl Tedd is always appropriate

        2. Kamino Neko

          You stole my line.

          (Also, given the sheer variety of things people make that comment in response to…we have objective proof that it’s true!)

      2. ValdVin

        Preparing himself for the mustache ride?

        (I’ll show myself out.)

    5. Plasma Mongoose

      It’s not Ryan is it?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        …Yes. It’s Ryan. Joyce reacted casually to him being in her hall.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Maybe she didn’t recognize him after Amber carved his face off?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I realized the flaw only a few minutes after I posted.

  17. Quartz Falcon

    And thus ends the mystery of why Mary’s so chipper today. Yeah, it’s really not related to any major offscreen change.

    1. Orion Fury

      Her publicly making out with someone isn’t a major offscreen change? Well I do tend to have a memory like a goldfish…

      1. Swissaboo

        Well, I mean it wasn’t EXPLICITLY stated as something she was okay with but uh, I think you might have been basically the only person taking her at her word when it came to any of her OWN behavior.

        1. Orion Fury

          Yeah that sounds about right.

  18. Just Here

    Damn. Guess I called it. Yay me?

    (I am revolted by the correctness of my smartass guess.)

    1. JessWitt

      As penance for revolting us, you must distribute enough donuts for all the commenters here.

      1. Clif

        Yes. Yes. It’s mandatory.

  19. Chromacandi

    I kneewwww it

  20. Alex Boston

    I’m guessing the boy in question has blond hair and enjoys messing with people.

    1. Some1

      Joyce knows who Mike is, besides he’s to busy collecting nickels

      1. Yumi

        Mike but in a disguise

        1. Shiro

          Mike but wearing a dollar store fake mustache

        2. WWWdotGun

          Mike piloting a holographic Joyce projection spreading rumors and lies. The girls walk past Joyce and out onto the building’s steps, and Joyce is back out there, still looking at her phone. They exclaim in shock, and just as they do so, Mary runs past, still crooning about God’s love. Look back up, and Mike is there. He is there.

  21. Opus the Poet

    Hormones activated. Do you think this might be the first time post-puberty for Mary?

    1. Delicious Taffy

      I imagine Mary’s libido as being similar to Broly. Nice and calm, most of the time. But under very specific circumstances, a rampaging demon is unleashed, laying waste to everything in her path, until nothing stands between her and pounding her target into an early grave.

      1. Rukduk

        So Mary’s the Dumbing of Age Universe’s Kale?

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Absolutely not. Kale is nothing like Mary.

          For one thing, she has confidence issues, which Mary notably lacks. For another, I really doubt you’d find Kale making out with a guy. Unless I’m completely misunderstanding her dynamic with Caulifla…

  22. RogueParasol

    Billee and Carla’s faces in panel 5 are absolutely glorious. I don’t wish Mary on anyone, especially Carla, especially especially after Carla so eloquently laid out what a mess it would have been, BUT…now that Carla seems to be safe, I’m glad we were led to the expressions in Panel 5.

  23. pjeseb

    Joyce prefers the direct approach, I see.

  24. Emperor Norton II

    Back from a very nice but very uneventful trip to the hills of Virginia. I mean, they called it mountains, but let’s be honest, they were hills. Nice hills, though. Reminded me of the flatter parts of Norway.

    And because I’ve been quiet, I am agog to splurge in and do my little recap comment, but first:

    Cerberus, I’m so happy that things eventually worked out for you and your fiancé. I’m sorry I could not be here when things were at its darkest, but I’m glad that so many others were. That’s the nice thing about a big (internet) family; if one is missing, others can pick up the slack.

    So anyway, Joe was probably for the first time in his life saying “blowjob” and not actually trying to be sexual about it… Shut up, you know what I mean. Naturally, the comment field discusses the real Blowjob Cat. At length. Because we’re apparently all a bunch of teenagers.

    (I’m not at all upset that I missed being in all those discussions.)

    Next, Walky Walkies it up with Billie. Some moments of goodness, and then the goofball act ruining it. Now, Walky is in no way stupid, and one day, he might even realise that Billlie in panel four was a Billie actually willing to talk properly to him for once; and at that particular moment, that could have led to quite a breakthrough in their (family) relationship.

    And then, Mary is suddenly being way too happy about things. Thankfully, Carla shoots down one of the theories on why she’s happy, because Carla is a motherfucking goddess.

    In the comment field, people are trying to discuss the relative disgustingness of offering a half-eaten donut, even going so far as to indicate that Mary might have broken off her half. You people are weird weirdoes. For one thing, nobody would ever willingly share a donut. Not even with their loved ones lying on a death bed asking for a last bite.

    Finally, Joyce is now getting involved in the whole “Why is Mary happy”… And it turns out that Satan’s offspring had simply found a Deepspawn of the Elder Gods to smooch with. This will probably herald the beginning of the DoA End Times.

    Also, Bagge is clearly trying to hide it, but he’s not holding it together well. After all, the last Becky appearance was on the 1st of July, and he must be having some serious Becky withdrawal issues by now. I imagine him sitting in the dark, clutching a red wig as if it was the only thing keeping him alive….

    1. Orion Fury

      Wow, over a month? I wonder, aside from side characters like Galasso, has been longer?

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Well, Dorothy’s -also- been over a month now, though still slightly shorter than Becky. So those are two of the -main- main cast that has not gotten screen time in some time.

        1. Orion Fury

          But we have seen alot of her old pallette swap, so that probably why I didn’t remember her. I’m also curious/concerned as to what’s been going on with Mike as well; last I recall he was in the middle of some kind of jerkass jerk plan to jerk around with Danny and Ethan.

        2. DrWattson

          I’m pretty sure the last time we saw Mike, he was forcing Amber out from behind a tree.

        3. Emperor Norton II

          Indeed. And Mike is not -main- main cast anyway.

        4. Clif

          Head Canon rejected.

        5. Bagge

          It’s not like I miss Dorothy too or anything…

    2. Shiro

      I would like to note for the record that this storyline actually prompted me to eat a frosted cake donut for the first time in years. Conclusion: pleasant, but not as much so as yeast donuts.

    3. Bagge

      SHUT UP, I’M NOT READING ABOUT DINOSAURS AND WEEPING. YOU ARE READING ABOUT DINOSAURS AND WEEPING.

      Yeah, I once brought my cousins from northern Sweden to the largest mountain of southern Sweden. They stood next to it and desperately tried to turn their neck in every direction at once to find this “mountain” I was talking about. All they could see was a little hill…

      1. Orion Fury

        /looks around for camera

      2. Emperor Norton II

        Oh, maybe I should not have mentioned that Becky has not been in this comic for over a month now. How to fix this…

        HEY BAGGE, I AM VERY SORRY FOR REMINDING YOU THAT BECKY HAS NOT BEEN IN THIS COMIC FOR 37 DAYS AND COUNTING!

        There, that should do it.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          That’s not too bad a wait. It’s about how long I had to wait between Day of the Dumpster‘s release and my own birth.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          You were born waiting for Power Rangers?

        3. Delicious Taffy

          More like the show came out and I got impatient to be born. Nearly asphyxiated on the way out, in my haste.

        4. Emperor Norton II

          Power Rangers? More like Power Baby Killers, am I right?

        5. Delicious Taffy

          You’d think so, to hear some anti-fans talk about it.

    4. Cerberus

      Ah thanks. It’s been an emotionally draining month so far.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        I can only imagine… Stay in there, Cerb. The world needs you, even if it needs to work harder before it deserves you.

    5. zoelogical

      !!!! things worked out with cerebrus and her fiancee??? yay!

      1. Cerberus

        I’m glad too. Thanks to you and everyone who kept me functional when I thought it had all fallen apart.

    6. Vulcanodon

      OMG, Emperor, I had the same reaction many years ago when I moved to East Tennessee from Washington state. “That’s Buffalo Mountain” they said. “It’s a bump” I said. It was an educational experience. I learned that Southerners are not necessary interested in a Yankee’s opinion of their topography.

    7. CoMa

      As everything besides that has already been addressed (I think):
      I beg to differ, I’ve shared donuts with my most beloved friends on several occasions (e.g. cutting one up into thirds to divide four donuts onto three people).

  25. Vinny

    Seriously? All Mary needed to happy the f**k up was a little male attention?
    Please, let her turn into an infatuated ditz. Or total wanton nympho. Or both.

    1. Shiro

      Let’s not.

      1. Yumi

        Yeeeeaaahhh…

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Let’s just say that the last time Willis did a storyline like that… was the -last- time he would do a storyline like that.

        2. Orion Fury

          From what I’ve seen, the ‘You need to get Laid’ trope has no middle ground for people.

    2. Yotomoe

      I’m pretty unhappy but if I got some positive attention I’m sure I’d be pretty stoked.
      Unless I got the attention because they’re kicking my ass or laughing at me or something.

      1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

        Your definition of “positive” is a strange one.

      2. thejeff

        Part of the problem is we (and the characters in comic) have been talking about it in terms of “happy” and “unhappy”, but that’s not really the shift – or not all of it. It’s been from “mean” to “nice”. We’ve seen Mary happy before. It wasn’t pleasant. We haven’t seen her nice.

    3. TemperaryObsessor

      Mary likely sees finding a good Christian boy as her end goal in college. So for her this is sort of like getting straight As. Plus this is likely the only positive attention she got in a while.

  26. Passchendaele

    She would’ve come back to tell them sooner if she hadn’t been busy watching, from around the corner of the hallway, mary kiss her bf. But hooray, mystery solved! :p

    1. UniqueSnowflake2

      Solved? No, mystery deepened!

      1. Passchendaele

        ehhh, it could totally be her IW! love interest, schtuppenstein (yeah I probably got it wrong, you try spelling his name), though I think he already has a gf and that was before mary went all hearts and flowers on everybody. He could’ve always broken up and became mary’s bf, but that tells me this relationship won’t last long, and it’ll be ugly when it burns down.

        1. thejeff

          An interesting possibility – especially since that Eric Schtuppenstein(sp?) was most recently seen in DoA after schtupping Mike as part of Mike toying with Ethan. If it’s him, it’ll be fun seeing how Mary reacts to him cheating on her with a boy. Nice way to solidify her homophobia.

  27. DinaWho

    Why do I feel like Joyce’s approach here is similar to the one Dina might have taken.

    1. Bagge

      A bit too direct for Dina – after all, we have seen how she approached a similar situation

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/04-walking-with-dina/haunted/

      1. DinaWho

        True, though in that case Dina’s instructions were to observe, not ask outright.

  28. Bagge

    As I walked down the corridors I thought about what I have learnt. Mary. The boy she was smooching. Billie and Ruth (who were totally in love). How did it all fit together? The case was closed (Mary was totally in love), but I couldn’t help to feel that there were pieces I was missing. That the jigsaw I had solved was part of a larger jigsaw. One with 500 pieces and the box picture missing. And not of a cute kitten, either.

    But that was future Joyce’s problem. Today I returned to my dorm room, to my lolipop and the monkey master poster. There are people out there who don’t believe in a happily ever after, but I’m not one of them. The road to love can take us strange places, but it’s always worth it. I should know because I’m Joyce Brown – the love detective, and this dorm is my beat.

  29. DailyBrad

    Well, I’m pretty sure I have a crush on Carla. She may yet have need for a catapult suit.

    Kidding aside, guessing it’s someone Joyce doesn’t know, or she’d have said. I also don’t know if we even know any guys who would date her.
    (Even if it had been Joe, like some have conjectured, Joyce would have likely reacted differently, and additionally, I don’t know if Mary would date a Jewish guy.)

  30. Kernanator

    Gosh, I wonder who this mysterious person she likes could be.

    1. UniqueSnowflake2

      Is he visiting from “Canada”?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        A leaf?! EGADS!

  31. DarkoNeko

    huum… Joyce…

  32. Yotomoe

    I have to imagine Mary say “oh, yes there is” in a very uncharacteristically lusty voice for Mary.

    1. Bagge

      There was a smirk. I’m sure there was a smirk.

      1. Some1

        Her left hand was lustfully draped over the guys shoulder

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Good lord, his shoulder!?

  33. Griffin

    I still don’t see how Mary’s happiness = better treatment for people she’s awful to, so I’m still waiting for the bad part of all this.

    1. Goblin Scribe

      Well, I mean, abusive people tend to use abuse as a coping mechanism to handle their own distress (which is why I don’t think there are any excuses for it—plenty of people have worse stress but find better mechanisms). So it’s perfectly possible that Mary being in a good mood leads her to be less abusive.

      But yeah, I really want to know who the guy is.

      1. Sam

        I wouldn’t say abuse is a coping mechanism (as many of the things they do have very little to do with how they feel at the moment and more to do with establishing control and desired reactions) but you are correct in that there are no excuses for it and that a good mood could decrease how wrathful someone feels for a while.

    2. Regalli

      So far she’s been too busy being happy to remember she hates their existence (assuming this isn’t a long con), but yeah I give it a week tops before she’s back to Mary. Still, that’ll be the most pleasant week anyone in the dorm has that semester. (I know Roz wants out of her room, but I bet MARY wants out of that hall and back with ‘good’ people eventually. … people like that have to get tired of being outraged by our existence eventually, right?)

    3. thejeff

      Yeah, I don’t believe it either. A boyfriend might make her happy, but isn’t likely to make her change her basic attitude towards people she’s been hating. Distract her from her plans, maybe. Be generally nicer, maybe.
      Specifically be all overfriendly with the perverts and freaks? Not a chance.

      1. TemperaryObsessor

        He might have short term convinced her be kind to your enemies and let God be in charge of punishing them. People rarely change long term on a whim though so expect things to be back to normal in a week or two.

    4. hof1991

      There’s an opportunity cost. Each minute she spents on smooches is one less she can spend on other things.

      Like we should encourage Trump to tweet, since that’s less destructive than some things he could be doing.

  34. SargeAbernathy

    Oh lord, please let it be Faz. 😀 That would make my day.

    1. Shiro

      …pretty sure he’s underage in this continuity.

      1. BBCC

        Yeaaaaahh, he’s like 17 and also doesn’t seem to live in town.

    2. Emperor Norton II

      …

      …

      …

      You’re a really weird person, aren’t you?

  35. Cerberus

    Comic Reactions:

    Panel 1: Oh man, I feel Carla’s existential dread here, because it’s one of those things that would just fit 2017. Like, I’ve definitely had runs where I’ve been, surely that isn’t what’s about to happen, but then I think about this year and it feels like my most cynical isn’t quite enough.

    So yeah, I can definitely feel Carla just going “ah, fuck, it’s the apocalypse, of course the transphobic bigot who wants me dead has a crush on me”.

    Panels 2-4: I love Joyce’s innocence and absolute lack of tact sometimes. Like, in actual reality, this is super rude, but Joyce makes it seem relatively endearing like this nervous little churchmouse inching up to ask two making out people whether or not there is someone they are interested in as if it wasn’t obvious.

    Panel 5: And it breaks Billie. Like Carla is just like “thanks for freaking me out” and Ruth is like “wait, is she serious”, but Billie is just like “what, why, what is happening, I-I-I-”

    Panel 6: And precious cinnamon roll Joyce still does the minimal reaction like “gosh, that was an awkward situation”. You just have to love her and this interaction is absolutely hilarious.

    Panel 3: And poor Carla in this panel. Like, linking back to panel 1, she’s clearly thinking this is part of the unending hell portal that is 2017 and is just like “no, I will fucking build a catapult suit to launch myself off the earth if I have to”.

    I want half the confidence that Carla has and strength in defending her boundaries and her wants.

    Also, does anyone have any idea if Mary is seeing someone or not? This vague storytelling is really throwing me for a loop.

    1. Shiro

      I am 100% stealing “I will build myself a goddamn catapult suit” as a retort for “I reject everything about this situation”

    2. Derek

      before this there was never any hint of Mary seeing anyone, you haven’t missed anything

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Cerb is being silly about today’s strip. Like, is today’s strip giving us any hints of Mary seeing someone? I mean, it’s very vague and unspecific, don’t you agree? Especially panel four.

        1. Cerberus

          Panel 4 is extra confusing. Like, why is she bringing up some boy. Does this boy know if Mary has a crush on someone? /silliness

        2. Derek

          oh, I didn’t recognize the sarcasm

      2. Cerberus

        Sorry, I was making a joke. 🙁

        1. BBCC

          I thought it was funny.

    3. Regalli

      I don’t think she’s indicated it, but then the last time we saw Mary with someone she wasn’t antagonizing pre-this was years ago.

    4. Li

      I was so relieved for Carla and also I love all the girls’ reaction faces and Joyce here. Just, many <3s

  36. Puckish Rogue

    Wonder if her guy is the guy Mike had sexy times with?

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Maric 4 lyfe

    2. thejeff

      That is the boy she screwed (and got pregnant) back in IW!

      1. Delicious Taffy

        She got Eric pregnant?

  37. Yotomoe

    Mary kissing a boy, before marriage. IS NOTHING SACRED? She’s not even wearing her wristbands anymore! Next you’re gonna tell me she gets dressed before noon.

    1. Orion Fury

      There are people who get dressed before noon? Willingly?

      1. Yotomoe

        Yes. Contrary to Roz and Joe who get undressed before noon. Willingly.

        1. Orion Fury

          It’s always noon somewhere?

        2. Delicious Taffy

          “Well… It’s high noon somewhere in the world.”

        3. MatthewTheLucky

          Only once an hour.

        4. boop

          if we’re talking noon o’clock, then every half-hour or hour would be correct
          if we’re talking high noon, when the sun is at its highest point in the sky, then it’s a line that rolls around the earth constantly
          /pedant

  38. Cmd1095

    Joyce felt awkward during her matchmaking activities, dear god how intense was that making out?

    1. Yotomoe

      Slobber everywhere. Everything was being grabbed.

      1. Dusk Rain

        HANKIES were being PANKED, that’s how awkward it was.

  39. Derek

    so in the original Roomies Mary got pregnant from fooling around, it was kind of written as a comeuppance for being a judgemental binch and a hypocrite

    While I don’t think modern Willis would ever use pregnancy as punishment, I’m kind of massively curious to know how this universe’s Mary would react to it.

    1. Krys Brynhildr

      Regardless, its one of those other little “Mary is a total hypocrite in secret” thing. Well, I mean not as much of one as if she was smootching girls in secret I guess…but still.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        How is tongue-punching some guy’s tonsils hypocritical?

        1. Cmd1095

          she’s all about the purity and the whole extreme religious no premarital intimacy nonsense. I think kissing might be allowed for the fundies but knowing Mary it probably isn’t

      2. thejeff

        If she was doing it where Joyce could just walk up and interrupt and then went right back to it, it wasn’t particularly “in secret”.

    2. Needfuldoer

      DoA’s comparatively glacial pace would make this a long plot thread. Even if this is the morning after, it would probably take Mary at least week or two to find out. On average we’re watching an in-universe week go by about every real-time year, even with skips.

    3. Li

      Willis is on record as regretting literally everything about this storyline, yeah.

  40. Bagge

    I can really see being interrupted by Joyce mid-smooching to be asked if you there is someone you like being a non-strange occurrence in Clark wing. People are growing accustomed to their little busy-body.

    1. Regalli

      Yeah from anyone else they’d be surprised, but… Joyce.

  41. Blackbird

    Panel 5 –
    Ruth: “The fuck’s wrong with you, Joyce?”
    Carla: “Ugh! I’m picturing it! Why can’t I unpicture it?!”
    Billie: “We’re sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again.”

    1. Orion Fury

      Ow, my ribs for the Billie one.

  42. m-m

    #TagYourself I am Ruth’s right eyebrow of incredulity

    1. Some1

      I am Ruth’s armpit (not heavily featured, oftentimes smelly and in constant darkness)

    2. TheGrammarLegionary

      I am Joyce in panel 6 (supremely awkward, but oddly at peace with it).

  43. Orion Fury

    And I just wanna take a moment here to compliment our God-Figure for his artistic skill, the level of detail for facial expressions and body designs, stylistic choices for clothes and settings. Great stuff.

  44. @zombieundergrnd

    What is a catapult suit? And why?

    1. Orion Fury

      Our place is not to challenge it, only accept its inevitability.

    2. BenRG

      Basically, a stuntman’s suit with bungee cords attached to the torso. You connect the cords around a suitable anchor point, walk back as far as you can and then let to to be sent flying through the air! If you need to get out of a situation or location quickly, the Catapult Suit is a quick and visually dramatic as well as breathtakingly impractical and dangerous way to do it!

      Yes, you can see that I’ve thought of haivng just such a creation myself, can’t you?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Okay, but how does it launch you, without the bungees staying securely fixed and just slamming you back down at high speed? Seems like a suicide suit, to me.

        1. boop

          maybe you have a quick-release mechanism for the anchors

        2. merbrat

          I would go olde-skool, with a giant sling-shot! The anchor points need to be up high, to avoid the (too-soon) ground splat.

    3. Needfuldoer

      A suit made of catapults, of course.

    4. Some Guy

      Ben already provided what I’m sure is the objectively correct answer, but I got some fun results Googling “catapult suit.” Mostly Gundam launching mechanisms (like how jets are launched off of aircraft carriers) and heavy-duty wrist-mounted slingshots. And one Shutterstock image of a businessman being launched over a chasm by a catapult.

      While these results were fun, perhaps they reveal some of Google’s limitations.

  45. Mr D

    CALLED IT.
    She happy because she getting it on.

    1. Yotomoe

      Counterpoint.
      She’s happy because she’s getting off.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        She’s actually happy because he’s going down.

        1. Foxhack

          Or she’s getting it in the butt, ’cause that doesn’t count as premarital sex. To some.

        2. Emperor Norton II

          This song:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY

        3. Delicious Taffy

          Point taken. I’d be pretty happy after that, too.

          No, not that part, get your mind out of the gutter.

        4. Delicious Taffy

          Okay, fine, that part.

    2. newllend(henryvolt)

      Some people just need to get laid I guess.

  46. Gaia

    The twist, the boy is really a satanist.

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      Oh please, please tell me he is looking for a virgin to sacrifice.

      1. Gaia

        Nah, corrupt, then “bride of satan”.

        The twist after that, is that Carla now rules hell, so Satan is Carlas slave, and by extension Mary.

        1. Dusk Rain

          A) I love that image and fully support her rule and b) she *now* rules hell? Is this a recent development? (Heh, devil-opment) I’d have thought our motherfucking goddess would be unconstrained by silly things like the space time continuum.

  47. Keulan

    Joyce is the best detective ever. And now I’m wondering which male character would want to date someone like Mary.

  48. Foxhack

    I think Satan goes to college in Indiana. Who else could tolerate Mary?

    Also, continuing the thread from a couple of days ago, I’m still hella confused by bagels.

  49. QueerBitch

    I want to be surprised that someone is with Mary…but on a college campus there are a lot more men willing to fuck anyone then there are women so…

  50. Victor Riley

    Had this storyline been a few months ago, there would have been a great possibility that the “boy” was scar-cheek Ryan. But, as he’s currently breathing through a tube, I guess the reveal won’t be that shocking.

    1. Yotomoe

      If you really think about it…we’re all breathing through a tube.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        Not his own tube, government owned tube.

        1. Yotomoe

          If you really think about it, the government kinda owns our tubes.

        2. Eldritch Gentleman

          Not if we make our own country in the middle of the sea!
          Unless we sit on oil, then US Marines will annex us.

      2. John

        Especially in DoA, where most people have big nose-tubes instead of nostrils.

  51. Brute

    Joyce is wonderful and i platonically love her.
    also several other characters who aren’t relevant here.
    also carla.

  52. sylvestrus

    I really appreciate Joyce’s makeouts hand gesture.

    1. Loki

      I made this gesture with my hands and giggled like a school girl.

    2. VeryCreativeUsername

      Joyce has the best mimics and gestures of all the characters. ALL OF THEM!

  53. Reltzik

    Joyce Brown, Super-Sleuth.

  54. Danni

    guesses on who the guy is?

    1. BenRG

      A random non-cast member. We may never actually meet the guy; me many not even be a student. What matters is that Mary has a boyfriend and she’s suddenly mostly sweetness and light. I say ‘mostly’ because she very obviously still likes needling people. She’s just less sadistically determined to cause pain, misery and death.

      This raises questions about precisely what Mary’s motivation may have been. It might have been close to what I think is Mike’s motivation: “The world makes me miserable and angry; everyone else ought to be miserable and angry too. If they aren’t, I’ll make them miserable and angry!”

      1. Reltzik

        Given that they were in a relationship back in Roomies, I’d put even odds on it being this guy.

        1. BenRG

          Which means that Mary’s SO is likely bisexual. I wonder, is he cheating on her with Mike or was Mike dumping him the thing that made him leap into Mary’s arms? Does Mary… owe a debt to Mike’s manipulatively malign behaviour?

        2. Reltzik

          Given that Ethan says he has a girlfriend already, and it’s only been a few days since…

          …okay, sure, maybe his previous girlfriend dumped her and he hooked up with Mary which is why she’s suddenly so cheerful…

          … huh, that could be possible.

  55. WingedBeast

    Remember back when I thought Mary and Danny hooked up?

    …

    Are we afraid, now?

    1. ScarvesandCelery

      I’m fairly sure Joyce would recognise Danny – she has met him before.

      1. WingedBeast

        Depends on how much of him she saw this time.

  56. Jake

    What a wacky sitcom moment. You can almost hear the laugh track.

  57. Lawzlo

    Plot twist: Mary’s boyfriend turns out to be a transgendered man. Maybe Mary knows and that’s what changed her attitude towards Carla, or maybe she doesn’t, yet, and when she finds out, things get very, very interesting.

    This… is probably not it, but I’m just taking a wild shot in the dark here.

    1. Some1

      It’s a version of Carla from an alternate universe where everyone’s sex and genders are reversed

      1. Scar Man!!!

        Then Carl would be a transgender man

        1. Dusk Rain

          It *would* be cool to see myself represented, though he’d also have to be nonbinary for added effectiveness. But then I’d have to ask why is my representation kissing Mary. (All of this is humor, please don’t take seriously.)

  58. BenRG

    JOYCE!

    Honey, you’re a sweet, wonderful and good woman but you seriously need a grafting on of common sense! What on Earth made you think that this would be the right thing to do?

    FWIW, from panel 3, I think that Carla was worried that Mary had a crush on her too!

  59. SlothfulCobra

    Back in Roomies, Mary bonin’ a dude was a big hypocritical move that totally betrayed her world view and morals, but here it’s…who cares? There haven’t been any diatribes on waiting until marriage to have sex or anything. There’s barely been criticism in this series on alcohol, provided you don’t drink into a coma.

    1. Cephalo the Pod

      I think the hypocrisy is implied. Like, we all know about all those Fundamentalists who are so adamant about chastity. Mary doesn’t need to preach it specifically for us to know that it’s part of her doctrine.

      1. Council

        Fundamentalism is not so clear and cut, though. No christian denomination agrees on everything. That’s why they exist as separate organizations with varying degrees of communion.
        It is entirely possible this Mary is from a denom/sect that cares for Stereotypical Fundie Bullshit X but not Z.

  60. smarties

    Today and yesterday’s comic strip panels have cemented Joyce as the fave. Something I was never prepared for when I started reading this comic in 2013. But it is just so perfect.

  61. Eldritch Gentleman

    Mary… making out… before marriage… this… my brain feels fried…

  62. Gesc

    Nothing is ever so simple, but I guess Mary really needed some lovin’. Also, look at it this way; she’s it being nice to everyone as much as she’s simply being happy in general. I’m fairly certain this is just the rush of being attracted to someone, romantically speaking or not.

    And huh, kinda called it on not having anything to do with anyone. Well, so far.

    1. BenRG

      She’s still being mildly but generally antagonistic towards Carla and Billie (note her sarcastic and mocking reaction to Carla not wanting a bite of her donut). However, she’s in too good a mood to ruin it by trying to think up a more profound malignancy.

      I think that Carla should take it. It’s a close to a ‘nice’ Mary as she’s going to get; just stay out of her way as much as possible.

      1. Gaia

        Disagree this is the perfect time for Mary to see Carla as human, so Carla should interact more with Mary. (In a friendly way)

    2. thejeff

      “Well, it looks like some of them are falling for it.”

      Mary finds a boy (offscreen) and becomes nice(r) and no longer a threat or a villain is vaguely plausible, but a completely uninteresting narrative resolution. Not going to happen.

  63. Cephalo the Pod

    Wait, am I the only one who interpreted Joyce’s last two lines as sarcastic?

    1. BenRG

      Evidently so, yes. I think the problem is that itowuld be in character for Joyce to miss such an obvious clue.

    2. Emperor Norton II

      Considering her facial expressions, it seems to me that it was Genuine Joyce going on.

    3. Eldritch Gentleman

      Same here, but then I remembered… Hey, it’s Joyce. She has virtually no mean bone in her body so it’s hard for her to be sarcastic.

    4. Cephalo the Pod

      So at first I was surprised that Willis was using the “She just needs to get laid” trope. Like, really man? It was why I was sure that Joyce was being sarcastic.

      But I suppose the true offensiveness of that trope is that sex apparently “fixes” the character. And this doesn’t necessarily “fix” Mary.

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        Sex did not Fix Mary. Heck she probably didn’t even Have sex yet. She just fell in love which fills her with all those fuzzy, cuddly emotions which make her friendly. Once her crush goes away she will return to being the shitbasket we all know and wish to get eaten by Satan.

        1. thejeff

          So it’s the “Love fixes everything” trope instead. Not as offensive, I suppose, but equally cliched.

          Except I don’t believe it for a second. It’s a fakeout. I mean, she apparently has found a boy, but that’s not why she’s being all extra nice and friendly.

        2. Eldritch Gentleman

          Not fixes, puts a temporary bandaid on. Because this kind of “love” eventually ends as the hormones get back to normal and… well reality smashes you in the face with a baseball bat. I see crushes as… temporary insanity because hormones mess up with the person’s perception of reality. This is the cause of so many marriages which later fall apart because the partners married when in the hormone-high state of love and then reality slowly eroded all that.

          Might be.

        3. thejeff

          What we were referring to earlier here as “New Relationship Energy”. Yeah, I get that, but I still find it being used like this in a story as an obnoxious cliche.

          Assuming that’s what’s going on, which I don’t believe for a moment.

        4. Eldritch Gentleman

          Welp, we’ll have to wait and see. It would indeed require a humongous amount of happy hormones to make Mary into… This.

  64. Nenja

    Are the black lines lighter in this strip than usual?
    It seems like a more dark grey.

    1. ValdVin

      Some of the hair outlines for Carla look dark grey, some look black. All the Ruth and Joyce hair outlines look black to me.

      (Warning: Results not guaranteed, as I need to clean my monitor.)

  65. MasakiSayz

    Oh, how I’ve missed harmless bumbling Joyce shenanigans.

  66. Odditude

    Oh god. This is my favorite strip of yours in a while! 😀

  67. Eldritch Gentleman

    Sooo now Mary’s enemies know her dirty little secret… Hehehehe, let the plotting and teasing commence :-3

  68. Dutchtica

    This is a good comic for facial expressions

  69. Reltzik

    …..

    …. You know?

    I think we’ve overlooked a possibility here.

    ….

    Despite all our discussions and analysis and and nitpicking attention to detail and speculation, I think that a very, very significantly possible possibility has slipped by us.

    ….. what if…

    …. this is just speculation, but what if…

    …. it’s a suit that you force someone ELSE into and it catapults THEM somewhere?

    1. 3oranges

      What if it’s a suit for a catapult? So you can use it to launch people, but you know, nobody complains because it looks so classy in its bow-tie and cummerbund.

      1. Reltzik

        Nah, no one complains because the Doppler Effect shifts any purely hypothetical, unobserved, and ergo scientifically nonexistent complaint beneath the range of human hearing.

      2. Reltzik

        Also, that catapult would so need a safety sign that says, “Upon landing, tux and roll.”

  70. Triniking1234

    It’s Faz.

    1. Josh Spicer

      OH MY GOD NO!

  71. KSClaw

    Well at least Carla can breathe easier?

  72. CianM1301

    Question: How would a catapult suit work? Is it fitted with a mounted catapult on the back so the user just has to lie down, pull a lever, and then they’re thrown off to anywhere but their current location?

    1. BenRG

      Bungee cords attached to the torso that you attach to an anchor point. You walk back as far as you can and then lift your feet. Impractical and dangerous but… wow!

  73. ValdVin

    Is there any reason Joyce would recognise, but not tell them, The Boy’s name?

  74. Phantom

    If the boy turns out to be Eric, then somebody better pick up that phone…..

    BECAUSE I FUCKING CALLED IT!

    1. a4lbi

      *scrambles to the character tags to remember who Eric was*

      1. a4lbi

        (He made only one appearance so far, so I feel less bad about forgetting about him.)

  75. Reltzik

    Apropos nothing, has no one commented yet that Ruth and Carla have the same glasses?

  76. nothri

    Well, it is important not to make assumptions.

  77. Scar Man!!!

    *sings*Hypocriiiiite

    Though I really hope this isn’t going that way either

  78. Falcon

    You know, Mary is head over heels in love now, but I get the feeling it won’t last forever. And when it doesn’t, it’ll be interesting to see where the chips fall. How self aware is she of her change in behavior? Will she become even more hateful (and perhaps unhinged), or go through a purgatory a hundred times more painful than Joe’s in order to grow as a character?

  79. JessWitt

    As a certain duck-tective once says, “Case closed.”

    I say a little prayer for the poor soul in Mary’s clutches.

  80. Vulcanodon

    I assume the catapult suit has Go-Pro camera mounts? Because that ride’s goin’ on YouTube!

    (Stores Carla’s line for future use next time something just makes absolutely no sense in an offensive way. Like whatever the Trump administration will accidentally do today.)

  81. Dang Fool

    PRE-MARITAL HANKY PANKY!

    1. Gaia

      There is a difference between making out and sex.

    2. Jaxx Sentinel

      No where in the bible bout oral. Just sayin

  82. Tomas

    Groot, bring me the red fin.

    No, that’s not a fin. Bring me the fin.

  83. Ferdinand Rosenthal

    Oh, hey, is this the first time we’ve seen Ruth in profile?

  84. Jordan

    …Joyce, I adore you, but what. the. fuck.

  85. Damned

    Wait is not everyone a lesbian here? That’s messed up

    1. Some1

      Technically no one is lesbian here, Ruth and Billie are both bisexual, Carla isn’t attracted to anyone and I’m pretty sure Joyce is straight (with Willis you never know)

      1. Vivid Grim

        Carla is an ace lesbian. her asexuality doesn’t diminish her gayness

        1. Mr. Random

          Maybe her homosexuality.

    2. Cerberus

      I’m really disappointed in Willis, always shoehorning in allo cis straight folks into his works. Like, really it’s just some pandering quota filling. 😉

      1. Emperor Norton II

        I want my representation now!!!!

        (For new comment readers: I don’t really want that.)

  86. Tenchan

    It’s Mike, isn’t it?

    1. DarkoNeko

      lord almighty, I didn’t need that mental image.

      (it shouldn’t be, Joyce knows Mike)

      1. Emperor Daniel

        On the other hand, Willis put MaryxMike art he drew up on tumblr a while back.

  87. Meta

    HAHAHA

  88. WikiDreamer

    Huh. Gotta admit I did NOT see that one coming…neither did Joyce apparently *commentators throw garbage in general direction*
    Oh come, COME ON, that was a gimme, let me have it!

  89. Arianod

    Hard to say if Carla is merely pissed at Joyce’s thick-headedness or actually slightly disappointed that Mary is not, in fact, interested in her.

    1. thejeff

      Judging by every other bit of reaction from Carla in this whole sequence – not even a tiny bit disappointed.

  90. Doopyboop

    Reactions to the making out stuff reminds me of the time some religious fundies came to my college to preach at us about how we’re going to hell. The wife insisted that making out would give men boners, and when a male student spoke up pointing out that he didn’t get a boner just from kissing, she told him there was something wrong with him.

  91. Renee

    I laughed out loud.

  92. acher4

    Panel 5. Omg, that panel is amazing! 😀

  93. Fart Captor

    Oh my god, did Joyce not assume that it was the boy Mary was making out with because of how she learned about polyamory recently? Or is she just trying to avoid making assumptions in general?

    That would make this even more adorable

  94. Flakky

    That boy’s name?

    Albert Einstein!

    1. Flakky

      Also, remember Joyce when she first started? Welcome to “Joyce approach to college”-Bad End.

      Prediction: Mary’s gonna practice unsafe sex and she’ll get pregnant. The boy will be some upperclassman who took advantage of her.

      1. thejeff

        Done in It’s Walky! Probably won’t be revisited so directly.

        1. Mr. Random

          Although it would be an interesting way to place Mary’s views and general outlook when a decision comes up that doesn’t benefit her yet her religious views demand a certain action.
          Plus it might lead to another interesting talk on choice v. life.

    2. Flakky

      On the other hand, Mary becoming a better person through no actual character development (aside from the power of love) for no apparent plot reason and no drama is an appealing concept to me.

      1. thejeff

        I guess. Doesn’t work for me. Too much hand waving for me.

        “You’ve got a villain who’s causing you problems? Well, offscreen she falls in love and becomes nice. No more problems.”

  95. Makkabee

    Way to bury the lead, Joyce.

  96. Hescotti

    Panel 5 – Carla, Ruth, and Billy as the three Fates. Possibly the three Graces. Or three Delphic Oracles.

    1. John

      Furies.

      1. Hescotti

        Yes, you’re right, thank you! (Couldn’t remember that)

  97. Smooti

    “I AM STILL GOING TO BUILD A DAMN CATAPULT SUIT, UNRELATEDLY”

  98. FacelessDeviant

    This would have been military grade sass if it had come from anyone else but Joyce.

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