167

Face time
Posted on January 2, 2012 by David M Willis

167 thoughts on “Face time”

  1. Chrisby

    FAAAACE Time.

    1. Wonder Wig

      Billie can read his FAAAACE.

      1. Kernanator

        He wants a piece of that freckled AAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          But I thought Dotty had freckled shoulders not a freckled ass.

        2. Blob Marley

          Oh, but now it’s canon.

        3. Leorale

          they aren’t mutually exclusive

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Good point! 😀

        5. Tucker

          ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

        6. Animal

          Two things between which it is 1) important to know the difference, and 2) sadly few people do.

        7. Zababcd

          “I intended to slap her in the face” won’t get you out of a sexual harassment claim.

    2. Zaratustra

      hey. hey lady. hey. hey. hi. hi. hey. hey. i know. i know.

      face

      1. Kaj

        Clap. Clap. Clap.

  2. Plasma Mongoose

    A new ship appears!

    1. Joraiem

      oh please god no

      1. Aizat

        Oh please YES.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Too late, that ship has been launched, bwahahaha!

        1. dchorror

          Maybe prematurely. We don’t know if she’ll steal his femurs.

        2. Tristan J

          If your ship is launching prematurely, you may want to speak to a doctor.

          oh god i’m sorry i’m so so sorry

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Don’t be, comments like that help make the comment sections of DoA fun. 😀

        4. Tucker

          …what can brown do for you?

        5. Kamino Neko

          You’re saying Ruth might not want Walky’s bone?

        6. Wizard

          She doesn’t dig it.

        7. Kamino Neko

          Ah, so you’re saying Billie should try to set him up with Dina!

        8. Plasma Mongoose

          The only bones Ruth wants is femurs.

        9. Khrene Cleaver

          With her penis

        10. DagonXIII

          Ruth, the face that launched a thousand ships.

        11. Michelle J Caboose

          No; the FAAAAAACE that launched, etc.

        12. Darksen

          Hmm, maybe to get far away from her.

      3. Kernanator

        “Oh no”
        “Oh yeah!”

    2. Viktoria

      I have no objection to Walky/Billy, Walky/Sal, or even Walky/Mike. Walky/Ruth is creepy as hell, though.

      1. fellixe

        B5! E10! J3! Must! Sink! Ship!

        1. Bickendan

          The DD ship already sunk.

          Danny wasn’t happy.

        2. Tucker

          5 = S?

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        I wonder how Ruth would respond to a Monkey Master to the FAAAAAACE!?

        1. dchorror

          WITH FURY!

        2. Kernanator

          By ripping out his femurs. Then beating him to death with them.

      3. Gundi

        So you have no problem with incest?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          If I know American stereotypes from watching TV and movies, certain southern states are all about the incest.

        2. dchorror

          In all actuality, it’s more commonly the north than the south. We’s got an image to leave behind, so indulging in it wouldn’t help.

        3. Kernanator

          Really, it’s more of an Appalachian Mountains thing.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Oh I see… I think…

        5. Hannover Fist

          .I don’t mean to call Kernanator a liar, but I’ve traveled through the south a couple of times and that particular stereotype has some truth to it. In the interest of fairness the northern half of my state (live free or die bongoes) has its fair share of non-forking family trees.

        6. dchorror

          Every stereotype has some truth to it. The claim wasn’t that it doesn’t happen, but that the area that it is attributed to is unfairly represented.

      4. thomas0comer

        The only thing I have an objection to is Mike/Ruth. Not sure why, they just don’t seem to fit together.

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          No they fit together TOO WELL.

          And On another note, can I get a cooler avatar? Sorry Danny boy your just kinda lame…

        2. das-g

          Easy. If you want another random avatar, use a different email address. If you want to upload your own avatar image, register your email address at gravatar.com (click the link next to the NAME field when posting a comment).

  3. David Herbert

    Her ass has freckles? How would you know this Billie?

    1. Joraiem

      Man, Billie knows about EVERYONE’S asses. Obviously, her favorite is Sal’s ass, but she is an ass connoisseur. She sees all butts, knows all butts, and feels all butts.

      1. Aizat

        So, Billie’s an ass woman?

        1. iSaidCandleja-

          She may just have butts disease.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Pray it doesn’t lead to Sphincter Clench.

        3. fellixe

          That’d be a real jam to get into.

        4. Tucker

          It can really constipate stop movement.

      2. Blob Marley

        connoASSeur?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          +1

        2. Zababcd

          I can’t tell if that’s an indication of approval or a weird emoticon indicating disapproval of Blob Marley’s comment. Normally I would just assume approval, but it was a really terrible joke.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          +1 = plus one, if I disapproved I would have either *groan*, FACEPALM or even X{

        4. Tucker

          Plasma likes bad jokes, keep up Zab.

          Also: Caboose -1. Best t-shirt ever.

        5. Blob Marley

          I have that shirt. It’s amazing.

        6. Khrene Cleaver

          +2

    2. dchorror

      They were just at the beach.

  4. iSaidCandleja-

    Wrong freckled ass…

    1. Rognik

      But it just might mellow her out. She could use it.

      1. dchorror

        But from Walky?

        1. ryan

          i bet ruth secretly wants to live in a lego house too.

      2. iSaidCandleja-

        If you want to see her mellow out you’ll have to wait until she gets hold of Walky’s femurs.

  5. Izzy

    What about the freckled tatas

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Oooooh fetish fuel…

      1. Kernanator

        Woo-yeah!

    2. Jetstream

      What about Terry Farrell?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        As in Jadzia Dax, yeah her freckles were pretty awesome.

        1. Rowen Morland

          And they went all the way down.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          via the ‘hills and valleys’. 😀

  6. Enderkap

    BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMMM! DRAMATIC REVERBBBBBBBB!

  7. Drunken Nordmann

    There are so many ships right now… wouldn’t it be easier to put all of them on one Titanic-sized ship? It would certainly be more efficient.

    1. Ryan

      Are you suggesting orgy?

      1. dchorror

        I don’t know, Titanic kinda suggests mass sinking.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          and Willis will be the iceburg in this case.

        2. Rowen Morland

          I’d like to see a Willis fa(aaaa)ce iceberg malevolently cruising towards an ocean liner filled with his worried looking characters who are paired up in weird and unlikely ways.

      2. Kernanator

        It’s always an orgy on the S.S. Willis.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          The S.S Willis: A veritable supercarrier of PSL.

        2. Kernanator

          Do I need my vaccinations? Or is it too late for me?

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          YOU’RE DOOMED I TELL YOU, DOOMED!!!

        4. Aizat

          SPIDERS!

        5. Tucker

          Pfft, he’s only inviting Watson anyway.

        6. Kernanator

          …I don’t get it.

        7. Tucker

          Joel and David are going to be travelling on a ship together.

        8. Kernanator

          Ooooooh.

  8. Aizat

    Freckles doesn’t seemed to happy that Billie wants a piece of her ass.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      That’s cos she knows that she cheated on her with Sal. 😛

  9. mnk

    “I’m going to help you.”
    “What? Why?”
    “First, because it will benefit me. Second, because it will benefit ME.”

    1. lawzlo

      That’s what we call a win-win situation.

    2. dchorror

      “Third, cause I know you really want to. But mostly, it’s going to benefit me.”

    3. thomas0comer

      But let’s not forget how it’ll benefit ME!

  10. Aizat

    Face time? Don’t you mean FAAAACCCEEE time?

  11. dchorror

    It’s not saying both?

  12. fellixe

    Well played freckles, sir.

  13. alex

    wait… wasn’t there some thing in the previous universe about a time traveling head-alien trying to hook those two up?

    1. Aizat

      And it just so happens that both Walky and Dorothy are fans of Dexter, a cartoon based on Head Alien.

  14. Plasma Mongoose

    What the 4th Panel should have looked like.

    1. dchorror

      Walky actually looks more uncomfortable in your version.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Can you really blame him?

        1. Kernanator

          I would be pretty disturbed if one of my female friends just started talking about someone else’s ass. Bonus points if it was my own. “How do you know what my ass looks like?”

        2. GarretSylvar

          “Remember that one time, at band camp…” And ya. We don’t need to look into that any deeper.

        3. Kernanator

          Oh right, band camp. Everyone sees your ass when you change into the uniform.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          These band camps sound… intriguing.

        5. Kernanator

          It’s more of a marching band thing in general; you often strip down to your underwear in order to put on your uniform, because wearing than that tends to be noticeable during band competitions, where judges are looking at you very closely. And because time is usually of the essence, we tend to do it in front of each other. Because of that, my high school marching band’s battle cry was “Let’s get naked, people!”

        6. Blob Marley

          We need to go deeper into that ass.

          All the Inception jokes I could think of were REALLY dirty.

        7. dchorror

          The one you just said was really dirty.

        8. Khrene Cleaver

          It was really dirty, but nor REALLY dirty.

    2. Zababcd

      The turtleneck sweater goes from being just a part of the oncoming nightmare to an indicator of shyness.

      Wikipedia says we call anything with that neckline a skivvy in Australia, and we call sweaters jumpers. I call sweaters jumpers, and shirts with that neckline skivvies, but the combination I call turtleneck sweaters – but with so little confidence that I look up two Wikipedia articles just to post a comment online.

  15. Janette

    And Walky got laid.

  16. Kernanator

    I’m not sure would actually be more painful for Walky: BilliexWalky or WalkyxRuth. Depending on the answer, I may have to jump from ship to ship.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      The safest ship for him to stay on is Walky/McNuggets.

      1. Blob Marley

        All aboard! Toot toot!

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Sounds more like a train than a ship…
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgbfxibKCtE&feature=related

      2. Kernanator

        In that case, I’ll stay far away from that.

    2. dchorror

      Depends of if it turns into an OT3 or not.

      1. Kernanator

        Truly, Walky is beset from all sides.

      2. Hannover Fist

        Great, now I have the image of Walky eating McNuggets off of Dorothy’s ass stuck in my head.

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          Great now I feel impelled to the draw that…

        2. dchorror

          …Why?

        3. Kernanator

          Because Hannover is a sick puppy.

        4. Hannover Fist

          Yes, yes I am.

  17. jjareds

    Freckles=hot; given; Nerdy=hot;given
    Prove: Dorothy=hot^2

    Dorothy=FrecklesxNerdy / That there picture shoes it

    FrecklesxNerdy= hot^2 / “F*** you teacher it’s math” theory

    Dorothy=hot^2 / Velma’s law

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I’m disappointed that you forgot to add glasses into the equation.

      1. Kernanator

        Glasses appeeeeeal.

  18. Blob Marley

    I’m now imagining Dotty as the super-hot drummer from the Scott Pilgrim movie.

    1. das-g

      Which one? Kim? Or maybe Trasha or Lynette? (I guess Kim’s the only one with freckles.)

      1. Blob Marley

        Trasha looks like she’s 12, and neither of those two gets more than 10 seconds of sceentime. And Kim was the hot one.

  19. Kelvin

    SHE RETUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!!!!!!!!! >:O

  20. Zababcd

    I didn’t comment at all on the last comic, so this time, you get to see how Sal wanted this to go. Not that she would ever really look at Dorothy like that anyway.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Who was the person talking in the first frame?

      1. Zababcd

        Still Billie, but she was speaking over a memory scene. I did wonder if that wasn’t clear.

        1. Zababcd

          If I read more comics, I would have remembered that I could do it like this.

  21. JBO

    Excuse me but HOW does Walk not getting super powers cause him not being babysitted (babysat?) by Ruth when he was a kid?

    1. Zababcd

      It doesn’t… the two non-events don’t have a causative relationship.

      I think your complaint is probably based on a misunderstanding of the premise of this particular comic. Dumbing of Age is in a separate universe, with no connection whatsoever to any other David Willis comic except for characters with identical or similar names and appearances, and a few in-jokes. Maybe some other connections, but it’s definitely set in an independent universe, not a ‘what-if’ universe or anywhere in the original storyline.

      1. David

        Another possible answer: “The same thing that makes him the same age as Joyce, makes Joyce from a different town in Indiana, gives Ruth and Dina different last names, causes Mike to not be from New York, Amber and Ethan to not be from California, and makes Robin and Leslie five-eight years older than everybody.”

        But, yeah, this is not a What-If universe. This is not a possible fork in any other known timeline.

        1. Animal

          As long as Sal continues to be a HOPA.

          And she will. She will.

          (I know where you live.)

        2. Animal

          HPOA, dammit, not HOPA.

        3. Tucker

          Holy, Omnipotent Piece of Ass – HOPA

        4. Zababcd

          Having-Order-Permuted Anagram

  22. MarcinMN

    Here’s the one problem with the slow progression of time in this comic. I honestly have no recollection of where the Ruth/Billie conflict left off last time, so I don’t know what to expect here.

    Hmm…maybe it’s a good thing. More suspense! =P

    1. David

      Click “Ruth” in the tags below the strip, and you’ll be shown her next most recent appearances.

      1. begbert2

        Blast, I was ninja’d! Damn you Willis, for cheating and sneaking ahead by not writing a frigging essay.

      2. Khrene Cleaver

        Yah know looking back at these old stips, I was thinking that the should just bone and get it over with.

        And Then I realized that I’m combining free love solving problems and pairing up odd couples kinda makes me sound like some sort of Shipper Hippie.

        A “Shippie” is what I presume it would be called. Don’t get it confused with a “Shipster”

        1. dchorror

          Does a Shipster put together couples that nobody’s ever heard of?

        2. David

          booooooooooooo

        3. Kernanator

          Hey now, that pun was legitimately funny.

        4. dchorror

          I’d feel bad if I had been trying to tell a joke.

    2. begbert2

      This is what tags are for. Though that statement is a little facetious since that only really works if one or more of the characters has disappeared completely since the forgotten event in question. Which, in this case, happens to be true for Ruth.

      Last time on Ruthing of Age, Billie ‘beat’ Ruth via the expedient of super-cool Sal blowing her off completely, with Billie riding on her coattails. Billie took that opportunity to duck back for a parting shot, just to make sure that the next time Ruth saw her, Ruth would come prepared to make Billie die repeatedly. That ‘next time’ is, of course, right now.

      However, unless she wandered off somewhere since the first panel, Sal is still there, so Ruth may find herself out-cooled again. Only time will tell.

  23. ADHadh

    That’s a different piece of freckled ass.

    1. Animal

      Didn’t Billie get her some different freckled ass once, in another completely unrelated reality which I will not specify?

  24. begbert2

    I like how Sal’s expression is roughly “this idea I’m hearing is a level of stupid that cannot end well.”

  25. Henry

    Sal = Pokerface.

    1. Michelle J Caboose

      So, Sal wants to hold ’em like they do in Texas?

      1. Kernanator

        …That sounds incredibly dirty when you say it like that.

        1. Tucker

          It is dirty.

  26. Moonshine McGee

    Billie’s mellowing out, in her own weird misguided way.

  27. Charles RB

    ATTACK WARNING RED!

  28. Zoey

    I would love a piece of that freaked ass.

  29. Nexev

    Can’t his face say BOTH?

  30. Khrene Cleaver

    Billie’s Rape Face

    By the gods, why did I make this travesty, none the less realese it on the world?

    1. Zoey

      ROFL

  31. Maycroft

    Wrong freckled ass!

  32. Miles

    I was just rereading some of the older comics, and Given the present comic this is the greatest strip of Forshadowing ever

    1. Mada

      *slips on the shiny floor*

      I know what you mean.

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