Fancy-Pants Lounge
Posted on September 19, 2013 by David M Willis

265 thoughts on “Fancy-Pants Lounge”

  1. thecanvashat

    More epic than Blaine vs. Ruth.

    1. David Herbert

      More exciting than Amazi-Girl vs. those jocks.

      1. thecanvashat

        Iiiiiiiit’s Walky! And his fantastic derring-do! And his Dastardly Villains too!

        1. Super Duper

          More exciting than David Willis vs old jokes about automobiles!

        2. Aizat

          What? You mean like how Nova means “Doesn’t Go” in Spanish? Or how the Pinto blows up even with the slightest contact?

        3. Super Duper

          I am referring to one whose name starts with a U and may or may not be Amazigirl.

        4. Romanticide

          I always found the urban legend about the nova ridiculous, we even had a type of gasoline with the name “nova” for years, until in was substituted for a newer one with better octanage XD XD

        5. Random832

          It’s a combination of: “No va” can technically translate to “doesn’t go”; it was in fact sold as the Chevrolet Chevy in Argentina and the Opel Corsa in Spain; people like to think things happen for a reason; and maybe just a bit of the tradition of making up acronyms like “Found on road dead”

        6. Whittier

          I’ve also heard “Fix Or Repair Daily.”

          I have officially exhausted my knowledge of cars.

        7. Fred

          You know, the Mitsubishi Montero WAS called that way in Spain and Latin America for a reason ;P

        8. AsimovSideburns

          F***ed Over Rebuilt Dodge

        9. Andrew_C

          That only really applies to Frauds with electrics by Lucas, Prices of Darkness, though

  2. Bob

    waitwaitwaitwhaaat?

    1. Doctor_Who

      My exact words: “Bluh?!”

      I was drinking a frappucino. I now have a coffee flavored shirt.

      1. Khantalas

        Can I eat your T-shirt.

        1. Jack Finch

          Only if Joyce’s mom from the walkyverse sprays it with whipped cream.

        2. AgentKeen

          Man, he licked you clean…

          Good job!

  3. Yotomoe

    I think we’d all jump at the chance to kick our Dean’s ass.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Never met my dean my college, my school had 40,000 students.

      I suppose I might have shaken his hand when I accepted my diploma, but I was too excited to care because we were going out to a steakhouse right afterward.

      Mmmmm….graduation surf n turf.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Correction. Googled out of curiosity. 52,568 students.

        1. Noah

          Ohio State, eh?

        2. Doctor_Who

          Yup.

      2. wynne

        You didn’t miss much. My mom went to a small liberal arts school, and the president there liked to address students by random names whenever he was giving a donor a tour. You know, to show how closely knit the school was.

        Though I go to a similarly sized school and our president actually DOES know students’ names…

      3. Whittier

        My first college had 150 students. Trust me, closeness to the dean is not a good thing.

        1. Aeyt

          I liked my Dean. She was hot. So was my counselor and a few of my teachers. Attractive women in positions of power make me happy.

        2. Aeyt

          I must amend this by adding Intelligent in front of attractive.

        3. DarkVeghetta

          To be fair, for me it’s a tad redundant. If a woman isn’t at least somewhat intelligent, I can’t think of her as attractive once I realize this.

    2. DSL

      I had the pleasure of watching the president of my University get zapped by a lawn sprinkler as he crossed what passed for our “quad.”

  4. Mattyos

    and now people’s minds are blown in this universe

    1. thecanvashat

      The janitor will have issues cleaning them off the walls.

      1. Javert

        Which should be difficult considering that he now lacks a brain.

        1. thecanvashat

          Solution: Robots.

        2. Aizat

          SUPER Robots.

        3. Zana

          How do we build robots when we have no brains?

        4. saltchocolate

          They build themselves.

        5. N0083rP00F

          Easy answer, old school skeletons and zombies. You know, the dead things that move and do what they are commanded, not the flesh eating ghouls that Hollywood labels zombies.

          *Begin facepalm rant*
          Hollywood repeats it often enough so now the GenPop believes it was always so…. stupid stupid people.
          *end facepalm rant*

        6. L.K. Croctuta

          That’s the case with zombies, yes, but I’m not aware of any traditions that hold animated skeletons can be used for the same purpose. However, I will also interject that while ghouls have always been flesh-eating, traditionally they’re a form of either djinn or living creature that can be reasoned with and may or may not prefer feeding on the already deceased.

        7. Bill

          See the short story “Reason”, by Isaac Asimov.  Found in his book “I, Robot”.

  5. Sensedog

    Well…that was honestly unexpected.

  6. Bilfred

    I really hope that its official name is ‘The Fancy-Pants Lounge’

    1. Lavaticmay

      Not only is it the name, it’s also the dress code.

      1. thecanvashat

        And the buffet.

        1. Bilfred

          mmmmm, them fancy pants

        2. Lavaticmay

          GLASSO HAS PREPARED YOUR FANCY PANTS!!

        3. Khantalas

          Chances are your pants are not as fancy as the pair
          Of very fancy pants that Mr. Fancy Pants will wear
          When everybody’s marching in the fancy pants parade
          He’s gonna pass the test
          He’s gonna be the best
          The best in terms of pants

        4. Varangian

          You look in every catalog, you shop at every store
          Cause even though you have a hundred pants you want some more
          When suddenly you see the greatest pants you’ve ever seen
          And even though you know
          It’s gonna cost a lot of dough
          You have to have the world’s best pants

      2. Random832

        Can you wear fancy pants and a T-shirt?

        1. Lavaticmay

          The dress code only requires fancy pants, you could go shirtless and not be in violation

        2. The Candyman

          In fact, shirtlessness is actually encouraged for strongman night.

    2. Roborat

      Yup, named after alumnus Big Jim Fancy, the mail order tuxedo tycoon. His generous donations paid for the lounge, the new textile lab, and the football team dressing room and uniforms. Ironically, he was infamous for not wearing pants while attending uni.

  7. VizardJeffhog

    Say whaaaaaaaaat?!

  8. Yotomoe

    The real question is…who holds and who punches!?

    1. thecanvashat

      Walky’s mom holds and Ruth punches. Ruth always gets the punches, unless Mike does.

      1. Pizzathehutt

        Meh, just call Mike. 🙂

      2. Whittier

        For a nickel.

        1. Josh

          With his penis.

        2. Bill

          In the FAAAACCEE!

    2. Aizat

      NO HOLDING..ONLY PUNCHIES.

  9. dailybrad

    Walky just wants to be tag champ once in his life. A kid needs dreams.

    1. Yotomoe

      AND IN THIS CORNER. WEIGHING AT 600 MCNUGGETS. THE STAINED STALLION, THE MESSY MARAUDER, THE MAGNIFICENT MACHO MAN WALKY SAVAGE.

      1. thecanvashat

        And the crowd goes wild.

      2. NightmareWarden

        How could you forget “THE CARAMEL CRUSADER”?

      3. N0083rP00F

        didn’t you mean … NACHO MAN …

        1. Yotomoe

          ^+1 YEEEEEES

    2. Aizat

      And he’s gonna love Teddy Long.

  10. DiDi

    The last panel just made me adore Walky just a little bit more.

  11. David Herbert

    Well at least they’re still friendly.

  12. Kyle

    walky that is not how this works

    1. Shade

      Yeah, but I’m willing to bet that there is a part of you that wishes it was.

      1. Yotomoe

        I want to punch all my Ex’s new boyfriends and vice versa.

        1. Shade

          Well, that’s a given. We all want to punch our Ex’s new SO’s.

        2. thecanvashat

          It was a rough week for Professor Xavier. Everyone kept punching him and he didn’t know why!

    2. Aizat

      Yeah, it’s one on one fight. NO TAG-TEAMING.

      1. thecanvashat

        Two go in, one comes out.

        The other one is busy eating McNuggets.

        1. Aizat

          Can’t we get beyond Thunderdome?

        2. N0083rP00F

          Skydome?
          http://torontoist.com/2009/06/on_its_own_like_a_complete_unknown/

        3. Aizat

          Apparently, either no one gets the Beyond Thuderdome joke…or I just suck at joke making. I’d go with the latter.

        4. thecanvashat

          I got it! But I could’t think of a suitable response.

        5. Aizat

          Really? Thanks man.

  13. JayStrang

    Walky would probably know this already if he ever paid any damn attention!

    1. Yotomoe

      He was much too busy thinking about how many freckles he hasn’t yet touched on his girlfriend’s body.

  14. Wonder Wig

    Wow, so I guess when Linda divorced Anthony he was dean-ied.

    1. Yotomoe

      But at least he never lost his principles.

      1. thecanvashat

        Don’t you mean principals?

        Badum-tish.

        1. Noah

          Yeah…that’s the pun he was making.

        2. Yotomoe

          indeed.

        3. Wonder Wig

          You’d think The Riddler would recognize a pun better.

        4. Khantalas

          Puns aren’t riddles, though they often leave me puzzled as to why they should be allowed to exist.

        5. DSL

          There’s nothing as good as a good bad pun.

  15. timemonkey

    Damn, I was hoping for some Tony today. At least I can enjoy Walky’s dad, it seems the likability of the Walkerton increases the darker the skin tone.

    1. Yotomoe

      Gosh. This feels racist but we black people are very likeable.

      1. timemonkey

        ….is it racist? I didn’t think it was but I’m never sure.

        1. Yotomoe

          Well…not really but enough that someone’d be like “D’as racisssssssss”
          That said, I’m kinda “whatever” about offending people. I try not to but people are so sensitive that I can’t stress about it.

        2. timemonkey

          Damn, I’m really bad at communicating my thoughts.

          I simply wished to express my distaste for most of this family, but in a humorous fashion so it didn’t sound like I was a whiney asshole. And now I’m racist instead.

        3. Yotomoe

          Naw you’re not. Don’t worry about it. I’m just bein’ stupid.

        4. KevinGriffin3CD

          A lot of statements that accidentally sound racist are simply because we as listeners lack enough context to judge the full meaning of someone’s statement, OR because the person saying it might be unaware of the full context or implications of said statement.

          For example, since we don’t know you as a person, and we don’t know your full opinions on the Walkertons or on people’s of different colors, a casual statement that sounds like “I think the Walkertons’ likability depends on their skin color,” will obviously sound racist. It’s easy to tell that you weren’t being malicious, but we still needed to call you out on it to make sure you’re aware of the potential harmfulness behind that message.

          And hey, if the lesson was learned and you feel sorry and it won’t happen again, then that means mission accomplished and we can all be bestest friends again!

    2. vsophi

      It’s not racist in a vacuum. It only gets tricky when you’re trying to define them by their skin color.

      1. Thasvaddef

        In space no-one can hear you be racist

        1. AgentKeen

          I don’t know, space dust can be pretty judgmental….

  16. Pizzathehutt

    Cowboy! Who you callin’ Cowboy! My name’s Walky Texas Ranger.
    (Chuck Norris stare)

    1. Yotomoe

      And then he Roundhouse kicks the dean.

  17. Hoboturtle

    Wait, what? Seriously that was really casual.

  18. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership

    Holy gentleman’s ‘C’, Batman! That explains a lot…

  19. Beachfox

    I did not see that coming.

  20. Shade

    Well, now I’m wondering just how old Linda and Charles are. Because assuming Walky and Sal are both Charles’s, that must have been a short marriage.

    1. John

      Walky and Sal are twins, so there’d be some interesting logistics involved in them not both having the same father.

      1. Shade

        That it would, but that’s besides my point. Walky and Sal would be around 17 – 20 for this to be their first year of university (unless I am incorrect on that point). Which means that Linda and Charles have probably been married for around the same amount of time. Which makes one wonder just how young Linda was when she and Dean Mchenry got hitched, and just how short it was.

        1. luxlucis

          They could have 40-45 right now, still look like that and being what? less than 23-28 when they had them? She could have married when when she was 18-21 and still haven been together for a couple of years till it fell apart.

        2. Otera

          Shade- the twins are probably about 18. my sister’s in her sophomore year of college here in the states and is 19…. so unless Sal and Walky took a year off (seems unlikely) they’re probably 18.

        3. Shade

          I kinda figured we were still in first year here, but I wasn’t sure. It’s sometimes hard to tell exactly how much time has passed in a webcomic.

        4. John

          I’m pretty sure we’re still in the first month of the first year. This is the third or fourth weekend; I forget exactly.

          (I’m tempted now to do an archive trawl and put together a timeline of events, but I have other things I need to get done this week.)

          Willis has said that all of the main cast are at least 18. Most of the freshmen are probably not older than 18, either, though there’s at least one – Dorothy, I think? – who’s been established to be 19. Ruth is 20, Word of God. Robin is constitutionally required to be at least 25, and since she’s been in office a few years, is probably more like late 20s-early 30s.

        5. Nicholas

          On http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/activist/ it’s established that Robin ran at age 25. Since she’s running for reelection, probably for the first time, she must be 27.

          Roz says in the previous strip that she’s eighteen.

        6. N0083rP00F

          Three weeks tops I would hazard to guess but The Master has a timeline so he knows exactly what day it is.

          Wonder if some creative sort could put together a Comic Page/Calender cross reference if the Damnable One is not able to share.

    2. Whittier

      It’s been established that Linda is somewhat older than Charles.

  21. Doctor_Who

    So, how can you not be aware your mom had a previous marriage?

    By being Walky, apparently.

    1. Ace

      By it never being brought up? It’s not that unusual.

    2. David Willis

      It happens, believe me.

      1. fishamaphone

        I’m sure it happens, but it strikes me a *little* weird. They didn’t even mention it as he was applying to the school? I mean, I understand from a narrative perspective why you’d have Walky not know (it’s a great way to tell the audience), but I’d really appreciate some explanation on Linda’s part at some point. It could even be a bogus reason, just so long as it’s addressed and not hanging there.

        Courteously yours,
        -A lone reader you’re not beholden to.

        1. Impwned

          I actually didn’t know my mom had been married before my dad until about a month ago and I’m about the same age as Walky is here. Makes sense to me.

        2. David Willis

          Read down, have your answer.

        3. fishamaphone

          Well, those are the answers for other people. They’re not the answers for the Walkertons. The kink that throws me is that he’s the Dean. I accept that it’s possible, even plausible, I just feel like it shouldn’t be skipped over. Which, to be fair, may be a problem that’s solved in the very next strip (like my concern over Amber punching her dad was). I don’t know, maybe I’ve just been taking part in too many writer’s workshops lately.

      2. Clodia

        Found out my dad had a first wife when I was 10 or 12. No kids made it nonrelevant I guess.

    3. laurenh

      totally possible. I apparently clued my cousins in about their mom’s previous marriage (oops! I had NO idea they didn’t know!!!) They were 25 and 21 at the time.

    4. Derek

      Totally happened to me. Never found out until I was fifteen. It wasn’t really a secret, as one of my parents casually mentioned it in passing as if I already knew.

      Sometimes I think parents don’t develop an appreciation for the fact that things familiar to them were never introduced to you.

    5. Kernanator

      I am almost ashamed to admit that until I was around Walky’s age, I had no idea my mom had a dating history before my father.

    6. Romanticide

      you would be surprised.

    7. Sunrea

      To add to this growing list: I didn’t know that BOTH of my parents were married to other people before they had me. I didn’t find out until I was about 18 and my step-mother (my mother and father divorced each other when I was about 1yo) casually mentioned that she had to block my father’s “first wife” on Facebook because she’s a psycho. I was super confused and then, like this isn’t crazy news to me, my father and step-mom mentioned that, oh yeah, my dad was married to a crazy lady for a few years before he married another crazy lady (my mom, whom I love but is totes crazy) and then he married my step-mom, who is also crazy (my dad has a type, it’s crazy and curvy blondes). Then they also casually dropped that my mom was married before my dad too. Parents are very tricky creatures.

    8. Ali

      Adding another to the list. Found out my mom had been married before when I was in high school. First question I asked was if I had any siblings I didn’t know about, and Mom gave me this look like I was utterly stupid. >.>

    9. SHAZAM

      Not quite the same but when I was about 12 I found out my grandfather had had a 1st (deceased) wife before marrying my grandmother. I’m very sure it wasn’t a secret since he had two kids and two grandkids from the marriage most of whom I knew

      1. Axel bander

        Yet another. Mine was a bit different too, but when I turned 18, my mom just casually told me that I’m actually not my dad’s first child. Apparently I have an older sister that no one in my family knows about. I guess my dad got some girl in high school preggo, and the girl’s parents took her and the kid to California, and my dad never saw/heard from her again.

        My mom then continued on to say that I might also have Korean family. Because, and I quote, “That’s what happens when you sleep with a bunch of Korean whores when you’re overseas.” Soooo yeah, my family is a tad bigger than I knew.

        1. L.K. Croctuta

          On the later bit, my father has a sister he never met due to similar circumstances when HIS father was overseas. I’m not sure if it was Korea or some other country, though.

      2. SHAZAM

        Just because I’m not sure how clear I made it my grandfather’s first wife died before he married my grandmother, and possibly before he met her. I’m pretty sure as far as the 1st wife’s kids are concerned my grandmother is their mum (then again it has to have been at least 50 years since they married)

    10. TJ Baltimore

      I always knew that my father was married before he was married to my mother: that’s how I got four much older half-sisters. But it took a few years to figure out that his first wife was that one woman whom we never talked to but would show up at my older half-sister’s children’s birthday parties . . .

    11. Mo

      My grandfather was married before he met my grandmother. Not a single damn one of us knew it until after he died and we were going through his effects and found the divorce papers.

  22. John

    I wasn’t expecting that.

    Is it just me, or is Sal’s non-presence a distinct presence here?

    1. thecanvashat

      I thought Sal slunk away?

      1. Yotomoe

        and she slithered and slunk with a smile most unpleasant.

      2. Aizat

        I thought Sal jumped out of the window, landed on her bike and rode of into the sunset?

        1. begbert2

          Sunset Pines Hair Decrimping Parlor, to be specific.

  23. Aizat

    Walky, everyone knows that you let your dad throw the first punch. Then you can come in but only if the Dean brought backup.

  24. Tunaro

    *Ahem* Fight! Fight! Fight! FIGHT! FIGHT!

    1. John

      I can totally see Robin doing that if they threw down.

      1. Aizat

        Bring on the custard tub.

        1. Yotomoe

          I carry it around for emergencies.
          and lunch.

      2. John

        Actually, come to think of it, I could see Robin doing that if it looked even vaguely like it might be possible that they’d throw down, and totally failing to be embarrassed when they acted like civilized adults instead.

  25. Kernanator

    *blink blink*

    This… is somehow simultaneously surprising and unsurprising.

    1. saltchocolate

      ^ This.

  26. Ryune

    I find it really interesting how relationships in this universe are different yet very, very similar. It’s certainly not a history fighting aliens together, but it’s a history.

  27. Wack'd

    *practices his smug jackass face as the surprised comments roll in*

    1. Yotomoe

      *practices smug jackass face punching fist as he prepares his smug jackass face.*

      1. John

        I’ll hold, you punch?

    2. Kernanator

      I don’t remember you ever calling this!

      1. nekobawt

        well maybe you shouldn’t have let your subscription to the doa commenter hivemind lapse. 😐

      2. Wack'd

        I didn’t have to! Linda and Big Boss Dean McHenry having a thing happened in the old universe too, and I KNOW ALL! I AM WALKYPEDIA! KNEEL BEFORE ME!

        1. Yotomoe

          HE’S GROWN TOO POWERFUL!!! HE KNOWS TOO MUCH!!!

      3. Wack'd

        Seriously though I didn’t call it because I didn’t expect Dean McHenry to be a big deal in this storyline. Or ever. But I’m not surprised by it, either.

      4. begbert2

        Wait, you have to call something before presenting the smug jerkass face? I’ve been doing it wrong.

        1. Kernanator

          No, but if you do it without calling something, we’re allowed to punch you.

  28. Aizat

    Well, this is interesting…and awkward.

    1. thecanvashat

      So, Dumbing of Age?

      1. Aizat

        Yep, Dumbing of Age.

  29. Yotomoe

    Well you know what they say. Once you go black, you pick favorites and completely ignore one of your kids.

    1. KevinGriffin3CD

      This was somehow the funniest thing I’ve read all day.

    2. Axel bander

      I like it.

    3. TJ Baltimore

      I was waiting for a “Once you go black” comment like this!

  30. Super Duper

    I’m guessing Walky is actually Mr. Deans kid! Plot twist! Dun dun DUUUUNNNNN!!!!

    1. Yotomoe

      Turns out Mr. Dean is actually secretly black.

      1. Pizzathehutt

        Another Micheal Jackson story! Only without underage boys and…. I’m going to stop.

        1. NightmareWarden

          You already have a shovel, why not “pull a danny” and try to dig your way out of that hole?

        2. Thor

          If I ever pull a danny, you’ll hear me screaming for the medics.

        3. Kernanator

          Pulling a Danny is like pulling a muscle.

        4. Super Duper

          “Yes, Doctor, I pulled a Danny.”
          “I’m sorry son, but there is nothing we can do. Here’s a pistol.”

        5. norj

          You’re supposed to give him a shot of whiskey then the pistol.

        6. The Candyman

          *Writes on notepad* Whiskey BEFORE pistol…

  31. Aizat

    Hey, Walky? I f you want to fight, then we are going to do it right. Tonight’s main event is a…..TAG TEAM MATCH!

    1. Yotomoe

      Dumbing of Age Tag Tournament 2.

      1. Biege

        I’d buy that

        1. Aizat

          For a dollar?

        2. Yotomoe

          I would definitely main Billie/Ruth if that game existed. But maybe I’d also learn Sierra and Marcie, just to mix it up.

  32. Regalli

    … Huh.

  33. Neospector

    “And remember, groin shots are immature, but not illegal.”

    1. Aizat

      “But reach around is just plain rude. We should ask their permission before hand.”

      1. vsophi

        haha before “hand”

        …yeah, sorry

  34. Insect

    ..huh.

    Is Tony also one of Linda’s kids in this universe? Seems like if he’s a starter he’s probably two or three years older than the twins, and we haven’t seen a Mrs. McHenry, so may be possible.

    1. The Candyman

      In the old universe, Tony’s mom died of unspecified reasons. Maybe that’s true here as well.

      1. Yotomoe

        Disney Motherhood Syndrome.

    2. kelticat

      I was wondering the exact same thing.

  35. Ruck Bogers

    Aww, Walky is adorable.

  36. Melvin Schlock

    Happy anniversary.

    1. Melvin Schlock

      I hope you’re both too bizzay to read this.

  37. Eve

    Awkward. I don’t suppose that football player is a secret half brother to Walky?

    1. Aizat

      Now that’s awkward.

  38. Raen

    This is both surprising and unsurprising. I think what’s more surprising is that it took this for it to begin to surprise me how not-world-weary Linda looks. That I’m finding this surprise at this sudden onset of surprise surprising is in itself surprising.

    Anyway, calling it now – Charles was a part of their relationship before it ended.

  39. thumb

    And that’s how Biff became his brother.

    1. Yotomoe

      AND THAT’S HOW THEY BECAME THE WALKY BUNCH.

      1. The Candyman

        This is the story, a lovely lady, who was raising up two very lovely twins..

  40. nick

    Did Willis just skip the Walkertons meeting Dorothy or have I just completely forgot about it?

    1. Khantalas

      Dinner plans. There is still time before dinner. Strangely, most gridiron games take place before the sun sets, unlike football, which usually happens during night.

      1. tahrey

        OK… wait… what? What’s the difference between them?
        /nonamerican

        1. Khantalas

          Well, football is played by 11 players per team, lasts 90 minutes (plus overtime), and requires getting a round ball into a small, netted cage guarded by a goalkeeper.

          I don’t know anything about the rules of gridiron, but Statesians call it football for some reason.

        2. Khantalas

          ((Well the cage isn’t that small, actually.))

        3. Shade

          The game that British folks refer to as football (and given what actually happens in that game, it makes more sense to call it that), us folks over in North America call soccer.

        4. Khantalas

          Not just the British, almost the entire world. Even parts of it that don’t speak English.

          Strangely though, not the Japanese.

      2. nick

        True. It just seems a little odd that they would wait till dinner, seeing how big a deal Mrs. W made of her son having a girlfriend.

  41. Carlos

    LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! BOYS AND GIRLS! WELCOME TO THE THIRD ANUAL FANCY-PANTS LOUNGE ROOM SMACK DOWN ARE YOU READY TO RUMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!! ( You can’t spell it right and strech it out i tried)

  42. Otera

    awwww makes me think of my boyfriend’s parents, sorta. his mom remarried but she and his dad are on excellent terms, we often go over her place for dinner on the weekends

  43. joeyo

    My grandfather divorced and re-married. My grandmother and (step?) grandmother got to know each other and at least tolerated each other.

  44. tahrey

    Sounds pretty much standard, to me… 🙂

    Though to be fair, both my mother / stepmother, and father / various ersatz stepfathers (mum never remarried, but has found at least temporary stability since) all seem to get on nicely, depriving me of even the entertainment of them getting into a good old fashioned throwdown, or popularity contest.

    Ergo, no motor scooters for T…

    Finding out that your mum was once boinking the college Dean must totally suck all the same.

    1. Jack Finch

      Some people can think of their mom’s boinking without both eyes rolling up with the words TILT. Walky is not one of them, I suspect.

  45. Crumplepunch

    “How did you think you got into college, dear?”

    1. Jack Finch

      We know Walky’s one of those effortlessly good students, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that was true for Sal.

      1. The Candyman

        I’d be surprised if Linda actually cared about Sal enough to do that.

        1. K. Ivan Ruppert

          I was about to say how I bet Sal is an effortless student too, and how while Walky doesn’t care about appearances enough to act like he cares about studying, Sal is personally invested in her appearance as someone who doesn’t care about studying.

          Then I remember there was an entire subplot about Sal needing personal tutoring in one of her classes and how that turned into *really* personal tutoring. So, nevermind.

        2. madd

          Yeah, because not being able to get along well with a rebellious child means you totes don’t give a shit about them. /sarcasm

        3. Yotomoe

          Yeah, but not saying so much as “Hi” after not seeing them for YEARS, kinda implies that you totes don’t give a shit about them.

      2. hof1991

        Sal never ever does anything nice and easy. Anyway , there was that whole sleeping with the TA for a grade thing earlier.

  46. hof1991

    Frigging Dean is weird, but Dean frigging your mom is ultra weird . Makes you wonder how many nickels tuition comes to.

    1. madd

      You win internets.

  47. Drillgorg

    I’d make conspiracy theories about her being Dean Junior’s mom, but seeing as she’s on ok terms with the dean I doubt she would be estranged from her son like that.

    1. madd

      Maybe it’s a secret! Ssshhhhh.

      1. Yotomoe

        She sneaks out every night to take care of him. Which is kind of a back-hand to Sal.

  48. Ocbrad1

    What does it say that one of the most likable and pleasant parental interactions involves Walky, the Walkertons, and the Dean?

    1. Carlos

      It says “DAMN YOU WILLIS”

  49. Galatine

    I think I can establish that Linda isn’t Tony’s mom, because she doesn’t have red hair. Unless the Dean’s hair used to be red, it’s very unlikely. If the Dean’s hair used to be red, it’s… still pretty unlikely, actually.

    I think?

    It’s been years since I studied this.

    Also, I totally don’t get it. Willis said it would be explained somewhere down here, and it’s not.

    1. Random832

      I’d think if they’d had a kid, they would have stayed in contact enough for Walky to already know.

    2. SHAZAM

      Tony’s hair is blonde

      1. Galatine

        It is?! Oh my god, it is. WTH is wrong with my eyes.

        1. SHAZAM

          I think there was a guy at the party with red hair who kind of looks like Tony. that might explain it

    3. Marceline

      Both parents just need to have the recessive gene for red hair. I’m a redhead and my parents are brunettes.

  50. Random832

    I have never heard “upstate” used in reference to Indiana. But, then, I don’t live in the southern third of it, so maybe. But it’s jarring because I generally think of it as being a New York term, where “upstate” refers to the less urbanized bits.

    From a Google search, apparently there are a few businesses in Fort Wayne with “upstate” in the name.

    1. Bill

      It’s the same in Illinois.  Anything not in/around Chicago is “downstate”, especially when it’s the Chicago news media referring to happenings in the state capitol of Springfield.

      1. L.K. Croctuta

        Never heard that terminology for Illinois in my neck of the woods, but when you consider I’m far enough south that the nearest big city to me is Saint Louis, Missouri, it’s not too surprising.

  51. Steve

    Walky’s family is a stealth contender for worst. Send Sal to boarding school then allow her to split on a flimsy excuse shows they don’t much give a shit about her. Her Catholic school girl outfit didn’t even register a blip. Now blithely dropping the first marriage bomb in passing as if it isn’t enormous says this couple is majorly fucked up…

    1. Marceline

      I think the Sal stuff is pretty awful, but I don’t think the first marriage thing is a big deal at all. It’d be different if they had kids together but as is, it seems like they were briefly married when they were pretty young, and it doesn’t seem like it was a big secret.

      1. Galatine

        In fairness, if I stole from a convenience store or something, my parents would have shipped me off to boarding school too. The reformatory kind. And they probably wouldn’t be paying for college, either. Heck, if I robbed anything, I’d probably be disowned. Not something that happened here.

        So. I think people are taking a bit of a hard tack on the Walkertons over Sal being sent to boarding school. Not everyone is able to cope with their children, but there’s obviously some interest there, they just… can’t handle Sal being Sal. I don’t think that that’s unusual. With the best will in the world, an impartial observer would probably have difficulty in handling Sal. Boarding school is probably a better alternative as far as she’s concerned than lots of drugs being forced into her or whatever.

        There’s some definite resentment on Sal’s part, but I don’t sense too much anger; she chose to head off on her own that afternoon rather than stick with her twin and parents, they didn’t tell her she couldn’t come, and I don’t think they would have. In fact, since Sal had to actually come up with an excuse to disappear, she probably narrowly avoided being dragged along for a big ol’ family event anyway.

        Considering there are people in the story so much worse to their children than the Walkertons… I don’t get the hate. I just don’t.

        On the subject of the Walkertons, I am disappointed that there is no Beef. Don’t we all miss Beef?

    2. David Willis

      I don’t think not telling your kid about an inconsequential marriage is really all that terrible at all. It’s only an “enormous bomb” if one has certain puritanical expectations.

      1. Bill

        There’s are two worse bombs that can still be dropped, and each one involves the oldest child finding out that he/she is not/was not the firstborn.  Speaking from experience here.

        1. Zach

          I don’t understand. What is bad about that?

        2. David Willis

          The potential past tense used for “is/was not the firstborn” makes me think of miscarriage or infant mortality, which is considered by many to be a bad thing. And it can break up marriages.

        3. Zach

          I appreciate what a miscarriage can do to a marriage but so no way this can relate to the young adult sun as an unhappy shock. I can only see better understanding your parents in retrospect as a good thing.

          A bombshell is something hurtfull, not just surprising.

      2. bunivasal

        I feel like the term “inconsequential marriage” would probably send the wrong message if one did have puritanical expectations.

      3. Lanval

        I dunno. I think the main issue is that it’s not phrased in a way that implies Walkie knew his Mom remarried at all [which would be fine] but I think most people would be pretty shocked to find out one of their parents remarried.

        I don’t think it’s puritanical so much as “Holy crap, that’s a pretty big thing that I apparently knew nothing about”.

        Maybe I’m the wierd one but I’ve a general idea of what my parent’s life stories for since my teen years and suddenly finding that out wouldn’t send me into a puritan outrage but it would definitely catch me off guard.

        If on the other hand, he knew about the remarriage but didn’t know it was to Mr. Dean specifically, then yeah. Minor thing, though a little wierd because of the co-incidence.

        1. David Willis

          I think it’s perfectly fine for Walky to react with surprise and shock. But it’s not a secret that makes his parents evil.

        2. Lanval

          Fair enough. I think it’s a bit wierd but yeah, I dunno, people seem to be taking the Worst Parents Ever thing pretty seriously; I think every couple that has had more than a line between them has been nominated by now.

        3. Marceline

          I don’t think it’s surprising that he’s shocked, but I don’t think it’s a big deal not to tell him. I know very little about my parent’s relationship history and it’s never bothered me. It’d be weird if they’d lied about it, but I don’t think it’s the kind of thing you need to sit down and tell your kid about.

    3. vsophi

      I keep on forgetting that the Walkertons sent Sal away, which leads to me being utterly baffled as to why everyone hates them so much… and then I remember.

      Yeah.

  52. Ace Rimmer

    I’ve always quite liked Walky, but this interaction makes me adore him. Good kid; righteous priorities.

  53. The Candyman

    I’m still wondering how Linda’s affair with David Willis fits into this.

  54. JepMZ

    Wait a minute… doesn’t that mean Walky’s dad is the big cheeses crackers???

  55. Kirkyboy

    I just discovered Dumbing of Age today, and I’ve totally fallen in love with it. But I just got up to the latest comic, and my first thought is “NOOOOOOOOO!!!”

    1. nick

      I had the same reaction about a month ago. Found it at 9 PM, caught up to the present by 3 AM that morning

      1. Zach

        But have you read through Shortpacked? And there’s SO much in It’s Walky to read.

        1. nick

          I’ve finished IW, and I’m going through SP right now.
          Also, Dina monologue.

        2. nick

          Capitalize ONE LETTER in my email address and suddenly the entire joke is ruined

        3. Zach

          Only Ruth’s avatar can properly describe how irate I am with you. This is a Dina only blog, and only new readers get Dina. How did Dina get this way? By reading over 12 hours of web comics and using a pee jug. What else have we done this on?

    2. Jack Finch

      Yes it is common. Discovery binge and slam into the current end like Wile E. Coyote running into a painted train tunnel. We have all been there.

  56. Galatine

    Also, and I can’t believe I just realized this. I actually now get why Joyce thought for a little while that Walky and family were Native American.

    1. The Candyman

      I still don’t. I’ve always thought they could be Hispanic before finding out Walky’s race.

      1. Hoboturtle

        I thought he was Indian.

  57. Scott

    My previous marriage story was not inconsequential. When I was 10 or si, I was introduced to a previously- unknown to me stepsister who was about 20 years older than me (10 years older than my oldest brother). Awkward, but it turned out well. I got to know her a bit and she is very nice. Sounds like my mom turned out to be “the other woman”, though I certainly have no regrets about how it played out…

  58. Jack Finch

    This may not be evil but can we at least agree it was dropped on David in a way that maximized surprise and weirdness for him.

  59. brionl

    No sign of Billie’s girlfriend today. Why? Because pirates are Ruthless!

    1. Roborat

      That was terrible. I salute you sir.

  60. L.K. Croctuta

    The hovertext made my mind go straight to Mulan. May be due to some comments I read on the previous page that seem to be intended to be sung to the tune of “I’ll Make A Man Out of You”.

  61. calvsie

    I just figured out why the dean seems so familiar… Calvsie you are an idiot.

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