236

Five
Posted on September 10, 2015 by David M Willis
2015-09-wallpaper700Since Dumbing of Age is five years old today, the Dumbing of Age Patreon has updated with the month's wallpaper a little earlier than usual. It features all of the Joyce model sheets I've drawn over the past half-decade. In addition to a 1800px wallpaper-sized version of the image to the left, there's a double-wide 2400px version available as well to Patreon patrons who have crazy future screens.   And as always, Patreon folks who pledge $5 or more per month can read tomorrow's strip early.

236 thoughts on “Five”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “Bad Becky! No rides until ya can say FUCK! Dina! …you ARE the size of a dog!”

    Happy Dumbirthday of Age!

    1. Doctor_Who

      All I could think of.

    2. Disloyal Subject

      Dogs come in so many sizes. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if one could get bigger than Sal’s bike.

      1. John

        I’ve got a friend with three dogs. The medium-sized one is a Great Dane. The big one is some kind of crossbreed that they’re pretty sure is part Great Pyrenees, about the same height at the shoulder as the Great Dane, but more heavily built. He weighs in over 150 pounds. He’s also fluffy, so he looks even bigger than he really is.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          My workplace is guarded by an Akbash. When he wants bellyrubs, he can just knock me down and then roll over next to me, and I’m not a small guy.
          Fortunately he’s a good boy, and won’t do that when I’m busy, but he will try to steer me around by resting his 150ish pounds on my side. Next to a big dog, Dina might resemble an unusually thin hobbit.

    3. Bagge

      Dina is almost a raptor. That will please her.

    4. TheGrammarLegionary

      Oh, but she CAN…
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/angry-2/

      1. legobil

        Nice catch!

      2. Ana Chronistic

        She has to say it in Sal’s presence! Like swearing in court or whatever

        haha SWEARING

  2. HorchataShake

    aaaand there’s becky!

  3. darkoneko

    Oh joyce is gonna be sooo jealous.

    1. m2iCodeJockey

      She’s just out of frame, waiting to put the helmet on and go “VROOM, VROOOM, VRRROOOMMMMmm!!!”

      1. Yet_One_More_Idiot

        She’s just out of frame, planning to swipe the helmet from under Sal’s arm and then start sniffing it. ‘Cos, y’know, it smells of Sal. And then put it on and try to climb on the bike with Beckasaurus.

        Beckasaurus, y u so cute again? ;D

        1. gkheyf

          It is because they are cute and Joyce is a creeper that such a thing was allowed to happen

        2. gkheyf

          Also, they are cute but semi-invisible. Translucent, I think the word is.

    2. Deanatay

      “HEY, THAT’S MY MOTORCYCLE!!”
      “HEY, THAT’S MY MOTORCYCLE!!”

      *Sal glares at Joyce, who blushes furiously*

  4. otusasio451

    You know…I think we can forgive the paleontological inaccuracies in that film, but only because of the AMAZING climax. Bootifuh.

    1. Heatth

      Indeed. The whole movie ranged from ‘terrible’ to ‘passable’. But then the climax happened and it was pure distillated awesome.

      1. otusasio451

        For me, it went from “OK” to “meh” to “ooooooh the pterosaurs are loose and some cool deaths are happening” to “not bad, but kinda boring,” to “YESYESOHMYGOD!!!” Seriously, I got so excited in the theater that I shouted out loud. VERY. Loud.

    2. JessWitt

      I can forgive the movie for the beauty that is the last panel of this DoA strip.

    3. Tacos

      I went to go see that movie and after it ended, a bunch of little kids sitting in front of us started singing the Jurassic Park theme song. Regardless of the movie’s scientific inaccuracies, it brought a smile to my face that it can still get kids enthusiastic about dinosaurs and maybe want to learn more about them.

      1. TheLoneReader

        Funny thing is that it addresses the main inaccuracy of the “dinosaurs” being genetically engineered monsters rather than actual representations of dinosaurs.

        1. Tacos

          Oh I know. I just figure most people were too enraptured with Chris Pratt riding a motorcycle alongside Raptors to have paid attention to what that one scientist said.

        2. JaneDoe

          Hey, it is possible to be both enraptured by Chris Pratt riding a motorcycle alongside Raptors and delighted that they addressed the scientific inaccuracies of the franchise! 😛

    4. Jacknoir

      the Raptors in Jurrassic park were always actually Utahraptors rather than Velociraptors. at 23ft long and somewhere around 1100lbs that would be one hell of a dog

      I’m rather surprised Dina the supposed dinosaur expert did not know that.

      1. BenRG

        It’s possible that Dina is a pendant and has never got past the use of the name ‘Velociraptor’ in Jurassic Park.

        1. Chris

          Trust a pendant to get hung up on one little detail.

        2. Erin

          *slow clap*

      2. Tacos

        They hadn’t been discovered yet at the time. They were apparently supposed to be Deinonychus but Crichton got confused while doing his research for the book and thought Deinonychus was just a large species of Velociraptor.

        1. Kamino Neko

          The movie ones are too big for Deinonichus, too, to be sure, but, yes, that’s what they were meant to be in the book. (I’ve seen two stories on the calling them Velociraptors – either his research was dominated by a lumper, or he thought Velociraptor was a cooler name. Personally, I think the former is way more likely.)

        2. Richard

          In writing the novel, Michael Chrichton’s references on dinosaurs included Gregory S. Paul, who argued that Deinonychus antirrhopus and Velociraptor mongoliensis were members of the same genus. Since V. mongoliensis was discovered first, its name took precedent. In the book, (p. 129 of the 25th anniversary edition), Tim compares the two dinosaurs and Dr. Grant says, “… Deinonychus is now considered one of the Velociraptors.”

          As for the feathers, (a) the notion of feathers being common among dinosaurs was in its infancy when the first movie was made, let alone when the book was written; and (b) Dr. Wu’s argument in the book (p. 137) about the animals being built from incomplete instructions with the gaps filled in by educated guessing, which inspired a similar statement in the most recent movie, explains the lack of feathers about as well as anything where SF genetic engineering is involved.

          And yes, the raptors* in the book and movie were probably closer in size to Achillobator than Deinonychus. But Deinonychus is slightly more well-known (probably thanks to a late-80s toy line) and not too much smaller. And “terrible claw” sounds better than “Achilles hero” in by opinion anyway.

          (* If people can refer to Felis concolor as a “panther” even though Panthera is an entirely different genus, then nobody should complain about the casual use of “raptor” to refer to members of Dromaeosauridae in general.)

        3. Richard

          (crap, forgot to add at the end of that first paragraph that paleontologists established Velociraptor and Deinonychus to be separate species since Paul’s writings on the subject, but the damage to the book and films was already done)

      3. Gamaran Sepudomyn

        They’re too small to be Utahraptors. Utahraptors are seven meters long.

        1. DarkoNeko

          But… do Utaraptors sing ?

        2. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          I don’t know. A sizeable proportion of modern dromeosaurids do, so…maybe?

  5. Tunaro

    Part of me really hopes Sal forgot to take the key outta the ignition…

  6. AnvilPro

    I like Mike’s addition to this conversation

  7. Seeker861

    This is a good birthday comic.

    1. Twilightomens

      Happy birthday!!! How old ya turning?

      1. Seeker861

        Thank you! I’m 21 now.

        1. Roborat

          Wow, this comic has been running for almost a quarter of your life.

  8. Mada

    This is the best thing in the history of things.

  9. liahansen

    ah, I remember the hoodie-dress fad of a couple weeks ago

    1. caesaria82

      I loved that outfit with the hoodie dress and the cartoon leggins so much. Fashion icon Joyce Brown tbh.

    2. Cattleprod

      That was a crazy few hours. Humanity simply wasn’t ready to bridge the gap between hoodie and dress.

  10. Shanunh

    How funny! I just got back from a showing of this movie 20 minutes ask at my college! To be fair, Dina, the one scientist DOES remark that none of the dinosaurs look like they should due to being artificially altered.

    1. Shanunu

      Misspelled my name AND a word. Cant have it all with auto correct I guess.

  11. Nightsbridge

    I’m mostly surprised Becky has seen that much Jurassic Park.

  12. Blue

    So I’m assuming that while they were looking at dinosaurs yesterday Dina showed Becky Jurassic World?

    1. liahansen

      Since Dumbing of Age takes place in an unspecified constantly changing year, and it will undoubtedly be published for many years to come, I prefer to take the 2025 perspective that it’s a movie that everyone has already seen

      1. Blue

        However, given her dad and the social circles she grew up in, I’m not sure she’d have been allowed to see Jurassic World no matter how long it was ago. I mean, it’s canonically established that she had never gotten to see Frozen…

        1. Roborat

          Yea, I had the same thought. How did repressed fundy homeschooler manage to see a movie like that?

      2. Cattleprod

        At bare minimum, she’s seen commercials of Chris Pratt on a motorcycle with raptors. Pop cultural osmosis is a powerful force.

        1. Bagge

          And of course Dina has seen it. She can have filled Becky in on the necessary details:
          [Long, detailed discussion on all dinosaurs involved and how the movie deviate from current scientific consensus and what aspects of those dinosaurs are currently under debate]…and there’s a cool dude on a motorcycle…[…raptors. 5 hours discussing raptors.]

        2. Disloyal Subject

          Becky is a lucky girl.

        3. Bagge

          Dina is a clever girl!

        4. Nightsbridge

          Together, they are unstoppable!

        5. xKiv

          Unlimited. Together, they’re unlimited. Together, they’ll be the greatest team there’s ever been.

  13. gkheyf

    amazingly, i started my current job this day in 2012. looks like we’ll always have this common anniversary!

  14. aitherion

    I officially no longer have any idea what year this comic is taking place in.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      20XX, it always is 20XX and it will continue to be 20XX.

      1. liahansen

        until 2XXX of course

      2. aitherion

        See, that’s what I thought, but Jurassic World came out in 20XX, and that’s several years either before or after 20XX!

        1. Spencer

          So is the next arc going to be about the Reploid uprising?

      3. Someone

        it is actually taking place in 199x at some point a boy with a yellow and blue striped shirt and baseball bat will ask joyce is she has seen a universe destroying elderitch cosmic psychic alien.

        1. evilmidnightlurker

          Or a guy with seven scars on his chest will come through looking for his girlfriend, and incidentally make Blaine’s and Toedad’s heads explode.

    2. Kernanator

      It’s always taking place in “This Year”. Whatever year is going on right now, that’s the year it’s taking place in.

      1. Evan

        john darnielle constantly in the background, just out of frame

    3. saki

      Dumbing of Age is not set in any particular year and operates on comic book time. 🙂

      1. Roborat

        I find it funny that we get this question about once a week.

        1. saki

          People commenting for the first time should get automatically redirected to the “read before posting” section. XD

    4. BenRG

      It is in the “eternal now” of pop culture.

  15. caesaria82

    Happy DoA-nniversary!

    1. Alice Macher

      Yes, congratulations on five years of incurring our praise and damnation! And, more seriously, for doing your bit to make us all more aware of diversity-related issues.

      1. saltchocolate

        Happy b-day, DoA!! (And many more!) (Seriously, don’t ever end this strip.)

  16. Plasma Mongoose

    Maturity is for cheese.

    1. inqntrol

      And for wines.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Meanwhile, immaturity is great for whines.

        1. inqntrol

          We aren’t talking about the aging process,are we?

  17. saki

    Well this strip certainly makes Jurassic World worth existing. 😀
    Never expected Dina and Becky to be this compatible tbh. Their couple just gets cuter and awesomer by the second. :3

  18. chris73

    I’m thinking that Becky is about to receive an overdue lesson in personal boundaries

    1. darkoneko

      What boundaries ? “Jesus is always with us” anyway.

      1. chris73

        Its not cool to jump on someones bike without asking permission, people get quite passionate about certain objects and I’d imagine Sal is about her bike

        1. DarkoNeko

          Of course.
          I probably should have added an humour tag above.

        2. chris73

          My bad

  19. Mollyscribbles

    So does this mean their Slipshine is going to involve some Jurassic World roleplaying that may or may not involve the word ‘cloaca’?

  20. darkoneko

    So Sal is on normal talking terms with Mike.
    This is kinda surprising. I guess he hasn’t an occasion to say something so rude to her face yet. (it’s Carla’s job 🙂

    1. Doctor_Who

      I like to think that this universe’s Mike, not being a genetically modified government trained killer, is a little more sensible when it comes to pissing off people who could beat the motherloving shit out of him.

    2. drs

      Like Becky, Mike talks to her normally (if at all), not like a delinquent or a pedestalled madonna of coolness.

      1. DarkoNeko

        Good point.

  21. zebrathinker

    what year does this strip take place in because this reference could be a couple years ahead of its time

    1. timemonkey

      DoA is always set right now, it’s a fluid timeline.

  22. Mr. Random

    And may these pop culture references fade into obscurity and confuse the hell out of young ones many years in the future.
    Ah-men.

    1. Void

      It confused the hell out of me NOW.

  23. Blue

    Anyone know what Walky’s ‘Um, about that…’ is in reference to?

    1. saki

      Something like ‘Um, about that… What age am I again?’ maybe? Wouldn’t put it past him.

      1. Clif

        I prefer to consider it a backhanded reference to the fact that this version of him IS about 5 today.

    2. Blue

      …and I just realised that it’s him pointing out what Becky and Dina are up to. Oops.

    3. Bagge

      “Um. speaking of people who are not acting their age, your motorcycle is now a prop in a dinosaur game”

    4. timemonkey

      He acts like a five year old all the time.

    5. Disloyal Subject

      He’s pointing out the childishness that Sal’s bike is being subjected tom

      1. Disloyal Subject

        *to.

  24. Ash Ketchup

    Joyce’s thighs have kind of exploded since the school year began, huh? She’s really getting wrecked by the Freshman 15.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      That, or all the walking is packing on a little muscle. Hopefully both.

    2. liahansen

      I think that’s actually her whole body expanding in order to become proportional to her head

    3. BenRG

      She’s going jogging with Dorothy most mornings, IIRC. Increase of muscle tone is pretty much a given.

  25. JessWitt

    Cheers to another five (and a million more) years!

  26. John

    It took me a minute to correctly parse the hovertext. At first I was reading it to mean, “This day of DoA started in 2010,” and I was all, “Wait, Dumbiverse time isn’t that slow…”

  27. tim gueguen

    Off topic, but I was thinking the other day that someone needs to draw Sal and Ruth as Kei and Yuri from the original version of Dirty Pair. Sal’s got the hairstyle to pull it off.

    1. tim gueguen

      Although I’m sure someone thinks she’d make a better Priss from Bubblegum Crisis.

  28. Bagge

    Don’t worry, Chris Pratt. Your scientifically accurate bestest raptor pal will save you.

  29. thebatman22

    When did Becky see Jurassic World?

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Within the last couple days, presumably. Maybe after the morning smooches?
      Heck, maybe Dina just gave her a briefing on what they were playing.

  30. inqntrol

    Congratulations Willis,keep up the good work!

  31. Stephen R. Bierce

    *plays some Zepplin on the Muzak*

  32. timemonkey

    I do hope someone comes along and makes a scientifically accurate dino movie sometime. I don’t expect the JP franchise to drastically change all their iconic mutants but someone else could do it. Mayeb a really badass videogame so it could be fun and educational at the same time.

    1. Lucina

      Boy, have I got an upcoming game for you.

      http://saurian.maxmediacorp.com/

      1. Tacos

        I’ve heard of that game. I’m actually really excited about it.

      2. Gamaran Sepudomyn

        Avoid Mesozoica, though. Bit yeah, Saurian is awesome. I’d also recommend Mark Witton’s blog (markwitton-com.blogspot.co.uk). He’s a great paleoartist. For movies, I suspect the best you can find is The Birds. Rather dissapointing that we haven’t had a popular movie with accurate dinosaurs since that.

    2. BenRG

      Typically it takes a genius to get ‘scientifically accurate’ and ‘entertaining’ together in the same piece. The two rarely, if ever, go together. Certainly, getting them funded is an enormous trial.

  33. Lucina

    Oh hey, this time Dina’s even unpronating her wrists. Good on ya, Dina.

  34. Marvelman

    Yknow, Sal, you’re not necessarily the easiest person in the world to get along with either.

  35. liahansen

    man, looking at that wallpaper you really get a sense of how much joyce has dumb of age

  36. Tacos

    Man, Joyce is gonna be so jealous that Becky got to be on Sal’s bike before her.

  37. Bagge

    Danny, late for class: “Maaaaan, not the raptor AGAIN”

  38. wakimaniac

    Wait, but isn’t this comic set in september of 200X? How can they know of Chris Pratt’s raptors?

    1. Tacos

      Actually it’s set in “this year” so the timeline is fluid.

    2. David M Willis

      see the “about/read before posting” link way at the top?

      the cliffs notes:

      1. Roborat

        Come on people, ‘fess up, you keep asking this question just to try to make Willis’ head explode, right?

      2. Smiling Cat

        Which raises an interesting question. Since time is not a fixed concept, should this particular scene get a flashback in ten years, will it be retroactively altered (only in in the flashback mind you) to reference the current dinosaur movie of the future? The same way superhero origins gradually move forward in time as the comic continues?

        1. David M Willis

          people’s words will not be altered with time, no

  39. Darwin

    Leave it to Dina and Becky to make a motorcycle so adorable it’ll rot your teeth.

  40. nothri

    Among other things, Becky makes a great winggirl.

    1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      Best pun ever.

  41. Koms

    Happy Anniversary to D. O. A. My favorite webcomic ever!

  42. Cass

    Woo, Dina has slappers!

  43. Rob

    THOSE TWO ARE SO PRECIOUS, DAVID PLEASE BE GOOD TO THEM AND DON’T CAUSE THEM UNWANTED DRAMA ;=;

    1. DarkoNeko

      hhahahahahahaha 😀
      hahaha
      ha 🙁

      1. Clif

        Yeah, all of that.

  44. Bagge

    I don’t know why, but I just find in incredibly funny when people treat Becky like a child. Same when Billie slipped her a 20 to get her out of her hair. “shoo” indeed.

    1. Cerberus

      I think it’s because she doesn’t take it personally. Her life is so besieged with really adult problems and she was denied a childhood that wasn’t tightly regulated with regards to who she had to be and what media she was allowed to consume. So playing around in a childish way or being treated like a kid doesn’t bother her, because it’s like a break from the super adult things she’s having to worry about all the time (avoiding being abducted by her father, being mostly homeless, having the bare minimum of money and possessions…).

      So yeah, if she can play around with a cute girl who likes hanging out with her and giving mouth smoochies without said girl turning out to be straight or denying any attraction to her in the first place, then, by golly, she’s going to enjoy that and go whole hog.

      1. Bagge

        True. I even think she actively prefers to be treated that way. She is loud and fun and doesn’t take things seriously, so why would people have to take her seriously. Again, In many ways Becky is a female Walky – and he just told us his views on how children have the whole dilly figured out.

        For Dina, of course, this is proper third date etiquette.

        “Go the whole hog” – hah 🙂

    2. DarkoNeko

      She’s shooing these 2 like pigeons standing on her bike XD

  45. ProfessorDetective

    A) Dina’s just getting more adorable by the strip. and B) Happy anniversary, Mr. Willis.

  46. Arianod

    Suddenly I want to see more of Sal and Mike interacting together. Also, happy anniversary, DoA!

  47. masterofbones

    Why do people insist on getting on the motorcycles of others without permission? Everyone knows that it would be rude to sit on somebodies car without permission, why is a motorcycle different? If you car is unlocked am I gonna just get in and fiddle with your stuff? Of course not.

    1. Lord Stoneheart

      Becky and Joyce aren’t really respectful of Sal’s boundaries. Remember how they woke her up this morning.

  48. OnyxIdol

    Aww look, Sal and Mike are frowning buddies!

  49. The Other Mike

    I loves me some Chris Pratt, but I would have no objection to his being replaced by an adorable redheaded lesbian with freckles.

    1. saki

      That certainly would make the whole thing between Pratt’s character and Claire more interesting.

      1. The Other Mike

        Wouldn’t it just, though…

  50. BenRG

    Now this one is a strip guaranteed to make you smile!

    Mike and Sal, the bad news is that you are the only adults in the room right now. The good news is that you aren’t in any way expected to baby-sit.

    1. inqntrol

      If they had to,Mike would probably just leave.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Or sit on someone.

  51. CleverTrousers

    Aw, after that first panel was posted I really hoped that Jason would be added to the background for the squad 128 stealth reunion.

  52. Wafflebob

    nerd Dina is hot, child Dina is creepy.

  53. EmbraceEvil

    Happy Anniversary! I love this comic so much!

  54. BenRG

    Am I the only one who is getting a serious Hermione Granger vibe from Joyce in yesterday and today’s strip? “Oh, HONESTLY, Ronald Bilus Weasley David Walkerton!” The brown hair and uptight attitude only makes the comparison stronger.

    Emma Watson to play Joyce in DoA – The Movie?

  55. Ethan

    So awesome seeing this is now 5 years old! This started about the time I first came to college but I didn’t actually start reading until a about two years ago. I’m so glad I eventually found this and Shortpacked! Has been inspirational so far!

  56. clorr

    Totally would have bought a DoA tshirt in honor of the anniversary. Whatever happened to the dig it shirt?

    1. David M Willis

      nobody bought shirts so when the tshirt company went out of business i stopped making shirts

  57. Volkai

    I have been waiting for that last panel. For months.

    I was not disappointed.

  58. Jimmy

    Happy Birthday DoA!

  59. Jen

    Happy birthday, DoA! And hahaha! I love Dina’s comment! 😀

  60. Cybersnark

    Happy sorta-birthday!

    And I just noticed that Sal’s bike is Adventure Override. Now I have to get him.

  61. LordHaw

    Have I been reading this for 4.5 years? Happy 5th DOA!

    Becky and Dina…an unbeatable couple!

  62. Shake and Bake

    I can’t deny the feathers, but they have found JP-sized raptors in the last decade.

    1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      Which dinosaurs are you referring to, exactly? DeinonychI were too small, while Utahraptors were too large.

  63. theheroesofcrash

    It’s great when a couple can act like five-year-olds together.

    When my girlfriend and I got to play Mario Kart 8, I pointed out that each character’s kart/bike has a horn that sounds different for each character. She was playing as her favorite character, Wario, and discovered that his horn made an *ahem* flatulent sound – a point made funnier by the fact that when a character honks their horn, all racers in their vicinity hop up and then look at the horn-honker. As this is especially noticeable at the starting line, when she tried honking the horn, it appeared as though Wario broke wind and everyone was staring at him. We both found this hilarious, and my girlfriend spent a good chunk of the rest of the race honking the horn. And I occasionally reached over to press the horn button. And we both laughed like elementary school children. Although in real life, there’s a little bit of an age gap between us, on the inside, it appears we’re both five.

    Anyway, happy five year anniversary, DoA! And happy 18-year anniversary, Roomies! If you’re starting to feel old right about now, Willis, might I recommend some Mario Kart 8…?

  64. Carefreewill

    How does Becky know that reference? If she wasn’t allowed to see Disney movies, how has she seen Jurassic World?

    I’m not questioning timelines or anything, that’s all a bit hand wavy, I’m questioning how she saw it at all, it seems like it would be a forbidden movie.

    1. David M Willis

      http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/128774874312/on-todays-strip-how-does-becky-specifically-know

      1. charlierw1

        yay thats my question!!! But i replied to it http://cause-why-thehell-not.tumblr.com/post/128775553742/on-todays-strip-how-does-becky-specifically-know

  65. Daikaiju

    Boots… Boots never change.

    1. Arianod

      They do get worn down, though.

  66. Tommy Fresh

    Bonus points for Dina’s “clapper” hand position imitating a raptor here.

  67. dwbapst

    Willis, I’d just like to point out how pleased I am that Dina appears to be making raptor hands *in a scientifically accurate fashion*.

  68. Lan Mikoto

    Dina: Loved by most, hated by some loser whiner. Dina shall lead us into a new age of dinosaurs.

  69. Spencer

    It’s not that shocking that Becky knows about the Jurassic Park franchise. Her character page mentions how she was more flippant and rebellious than Joyce.

    My dad didn’t let me watch Yu-Gi-Oh or Cardcaptors when I was a kid, so of course I went and did it anyway. The quickest way to get your kid to do something is to tell them not to do it.

    1. m2iCodeJockey

      “Don’t go to the school and get A’s, you little bastard!!”

  70. ShadowDJ

    Ever hear of Deinonchus, Dina?

    1. David M Willis

      she has heard about deinonychus

      with a y

      she would also lecture you AT LENGTH at how the jurassic park’s casual, lazy treatment of deinonychus as somehow a kind of velociraptor is terrible and unusual and awful science and that she’s tired of people who think they’re smart trying to one-up her on silly shit like that

      but that it still doesn’t matter because in the film they’re velociraptors, and velociraptors should be the size of a dog and have feathers, so come back when there’s a jurassic park film that talks about “nychuses” instead of “raptors” and also still you’ll be wrong because they don’t have feathers and their bones are structured all wrong and they certainly can’t open a doorknob, their wrists don’t even work that way

    2. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      Both Velociraptor and Deinonychus were too small to be JP’s raptors. Utahraptors were far too large, on the other hand.

      1. Someone

        Of course Jurrasic world outright states that the dinosaurs our inaccurate. Thats kinda the whole point of the movie. That you shouldn’t play God and create giant man eating lizards without any basic safety precautions. I don’t give a shit about the dinosaurs being inaccurate. I want to know why the fuck they aren’t all fitted with shock collars.

        1. Lucina

          I want to know why the fuck the enclosure Indominus rex was raised in and was never ever supposed to get out from had fucking Indominus-sized gates instead of people-sized access doors.

          It would have a lot harder time getting out if people didn’t have a front door for it to use.

  71. wakeangel2001

    2 things in Jurassic World’s defense, 1-there WAS a man sized raptor species, Utahraptor (though it wasn’t discovered until after the first Jurassic Park movie was made) and besides they probably just went with that name because it had more impact than “deinonychus”and 2-they DID specifically state that they had altered the dinosaur genomes for aesthetic purposes, either by purposefully suppressing the feather genes or simply not being able to recover them.

    1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      Utahraptors were way too large. And anyway, the raptors in JP were always way too skinny and shrink-wrapped. They’d die within minutes just from exhaustion.

  72. Kyle

    yes but what kind of dog

  73. 2K

    Happy Birthday, Walki Universe. Have a good day. Be Happy.

  74. charlierw1

    I have an alert for this comic’s updates on my phone and the alarm is “the touch”, thats how into these comics (willis comics) i am

  75. kay

    This is the definition of perfect.

  76. IJ

    What kind of rude motherfucker sits on someone else’s motorcycle without permission?

    If that were my bike, I’d deck Becky in the face.

    1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      Perfect match of Gravatar and comment. The fact that Mike is that kind of person just adds to it.

    2. m2iCodeJockey

      One doesn’t have to deck when good swat on the ass will do.

      “Yer bendin’ mah center-stand, jackass!”
      *bap!!*

  77. Pingback: Fleen: Try Our Thick, Creamy Shakes » This Is Why I’ll Never Believe RSS Is Dead

  78. KingOfGreyfell

    “Feathers, and the size of a dog?”
    No wonder folks prefer fantasy to reality. Science is an idiot.

    1. David M Willis

      somewhere in the distant future some bro on the internet gets all pissy when science figures out that male lions were fuzzy and had some kind of poofy hair thing around their neck, thus ruining lions forever because it doesn’t match a movie

      1. timemonkey

        This assumes people in the future will care about lions.

      2. timemonkey

        Or any other extinct animal by that time.

        1. David M Willis

          i was really hoping someone would bring up some distracting bullshit irrelevant to my point

        2. timemonkey

          It’s not irrelevant, you’re assuming people will care about the accuracy of an extinct species. The vast majority just cares that it’s entertaining. They’re extinct, they no longer matter. Sure, some actually care, the information will be recorded somewhere but the general populous will never look or even care it’s there.

          To 99% of people there’s no real difference between dinosaurs and dragons. Big lizards who are used in fiction to kill people and be entertaining.

        3. David M Willis

          i’m not spelling out for you why it was irrelevant to my point, even though you keep missing it by a friggin’ mile, because right now you’re spewing some dumb anti-learning, anti-intelligence crap that’s exactly the kind of bullshit that kept me from learning the world was more than 6000 years old until i was 22 and it’s really pissing me off and it’s hard to not be communicating entirely in swears

        4. timemonkey

          I’m not promoting that kind fo thinking, merely pointing out that it exists. It’s the exact reason you grew up in that environment.

          Just because I bring something up doesn’t mean I endorse it. I even pointed out further up that I hope a scientifically accurate movie or game comes out so I can enjoy it.

        5. Tan

          The OP that Willis was responding to was suggesting that raptors with feathers and the size of dogs would be stupid-looking.

          Willis was drawing an analogy between these traits and the fact that male lions have manes. You know, those majestic looking things that are totally bad-ass? But if someone who -didn’t- know real lions and had some other image in their head about what ‘lion’ means that they liked, they would likely react negatively to a description of real lions.

          And they would be wrong.

          Like the OP is wrong about real dinosaurs.

          Analogy.

          This is the point you have utterly missed.

          People who don’t care about lions and don’t care about dinosaurs don’t enter into the equation, because the person Willis was responding to CLEARLY HAS AN OPINION on the dinosaurs/metaphorical lions. (or was joking, hard to tell on the Interwebs)

          ((wouldn’t it be great if, in the distant future, remnants of THIS COMMENT SECTION were in fact the evidence science stumbled across that male lions had manes?))

        6. Smiling Cat

          You’re claiming nobody will care what an extinct creature will look like in an argument about how people care about what extinct creatures look like?

          Because… wow.

        7. timemonkey

          The point is, most people DON’T really care. That’s why media hasn’t bothered updating how dinosaurs look even though we know better.

          To most people they’re just monsters, good for entertainment but anything resembling accuracy to the real creatures is unnecessary.

        8. Smiling Cat

          I’m having trouble finding a way to read your comment that doesn’t come off as “right thinking people don’t care what they look like”. So I have to assume that you’re just an ass.

          To paraphrase Zero Punctuation, you know why substance matters more than image? “President Donald Trump.”

        9. timemonkey

          You’re assuming I believe that ignorance is the correct mindset, I do not. It’s simply a fact that most do not care.

        10. Smiling Cat

          You opened up your statement by saying nobody would care what lions looked like. You’ve only recently backpedaled to “most”. Even then, you seem intent to insist that “most” makes the opinion or thoughts of those who do care irrelevant.

          Since it would be the height of stupidity to point out most people don’t have this conversation like it’s some magic revelation, I can only conclude that you did so to denigrate those who would by telling them they’re irrelevant.

          I could be wrong, you could just be a moronic attention seeker who thinks pointing out irrelevant self evident details makes you special, but somehow I find you being an asshole to be more comforting.

        11. timemonkey

          Nah, I just made a bad call and then couldn’t stop trying to explain myself out of the hole.

        12. Bicycle Bill

          When you find yourself in a hole that’s the perfect time to stop digging.

        13. timemonkey

          See, I know that intellectually but my brain gets stuck in the loop and says if I just find the right words it’ll make everything better.

        14. Mindlink

          I not only have a hard time, but find it completely IMPOSSIBLE to read his posts as anything but a heavy indictment on the attitude of the general public. Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away, why put your head in the sand like that ?

        15. Clif

          Willis was really hoping someone would bring up some distracting bullshit irrelevant to his point and lo, he wasn’t disappointed.

        16. Clif

          Quick, without looking back, what was his original point?

    2. Smiling Cat

      Hey, raptor doesn’t have to prove anything to you. Raptor already be awesome. Works them feathers like a bird of prey!

      (my mind gets weird when I have insomnia)

  79. Edupoet81

    Happy, birthday, DoA! Here’s hoping for many more.

  80. Pinja

    Jesus Sal what are you whining about now?

    I can’t recall the last time you were in a strip and not complaining.

    1. Spencer

      I love it when people I barely know who I am also sticking my neck out for by hiding them in my room start muscling around on my shit.

      It’s a cute punchline but I can’t see why Sal wouldn’t be annoyed.

    2. Lord Stoneheart

      Ummm, last week, in her last appearance? She’s not whining there. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/differnt/

    3. Reaver

      So if you have a car can you leave it unlocked so I can mess around with it? No whining about it!

      1. Mindlink

        A car is an “inside space”, often containing lots of personal items. A bike is an “outside space”, no different from a bench. You wouldn’t find it weird if people sat on your bench without permission, would you ?

        1. Reaver

          A bike is NOT public use, a BENCH is, a BIKE is an expensive piece of equiptment, that often has a equally expensive helmet, people sitting, climbing or rocking on the bike can cause it to fall, damaging it.

          Can I just start sitting all over your car when you park it? Sit on the roof, lay on the hood, swing my legs against the glass window?

        2. David M Willis

          outside it’s basically “finder’s keepers”

          oh hey a credit card

          welp sorry, this is outside space, now i can clear out your bank account, sorry

        3. Reaver

          If you hadn’t WANTED me to take your credit card you shouldn’t have dropped it, and have had me watch you walk away from it! My money now~!

  81. Tenn

    Five years, wiigii! 😀

    1. Strife

      Can’t believe it’s been that long already Oo’

      Happy b-day DOA! 😀

  82. parismio

    yep

  83. Reaver

    -eyetwitch- you do not SIT or touch on someone’s BIKE, you do not mess with things that are NOT yours x.x

    1. Mindlink

      Why not ?
      It’s just a bike ?

      1. Reaver

        Because it doesn’t /belong/ to you, just like how you don’t see someone’s flowers and go “Ooh I want” and take a bunch of them”

        and it’s not ‘Just” a bike, it’s a vehicle, a very EXPENSIVE one, so if you, an uninsured person sit on it, cause it to fall, damage it and run off, the owner gets to just EAT that expense.

        1. Clif

          In my head cannon Mike is a DOA comment troll.

  84. halcyon1234

    this comic is so unrealistic nothing ever changes and people keep wearing the same clothes every day………

    (oh wait)

  85. Dr. T

    That’s what you get for parking your bike on 3rd St (in a place that there are no parking spaces, to boot).

  86. DarkoNeko

    Why isn’t the new page up T_T

  87. TheKelliestKelly

    I’m impressed! It’s been awhile since we’ve seen Sal’s motorcycle and awhile since I’ve read those strips but you’ve clearly improved with vehicles. Good job, Willis

  88. Sporky

    “It features all of the Joyce model sheets I’ve drawn over the past half-decade.”

    Oh my god I’ve been reading this comic since day one I feel so old

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