Yep, it’s going to happen. Every grade perfectionist I saw go to college hits that point. Either the teacher is really hard, the subject itself is, or they just screw up but it happens. It’s interesting to see how they react.
Gloating at Dorothy’s grave, I take it, in his wheelchair.
N0083rP00F
More likely one of those newfangled automated full care, self cleaning beds.
I think I saw it on one of those anime shorts but cant remember the title.
Ah, here it is, the Roujin Z-0001 Robotic Bed. circa 1991? Damn I feel old.
Plus, perfect people don’t doubt that they’re perfect, except that if they don’t, they have an ego problem, which means they’re not perfect, but if they do, they sell themselves short, which means…
The only solution is that they’re perfect because they say they’re perfect, and being perfect, whatever they say is true. Catch-22.
miados
the dilbert guy said he wanted to be three things even if logically he could only be 2 of them.
humble, honestly, and successful
in his mind you can only be two of them successfully though.
insomniac
Scott Adams is, charitably, one of the three.
miados
but the logic is fairly sound. you can be humble and honest when you are a failure but if you are honest and successful you sound like a bragard and you can only really but successful and humble if you lie for the most part.
insomniac
Not really. It’s long been remarked that the most accomplished experts in any field are the most acutely aware of their own ignorance; someone not constantly going up their own asshole about how rich they are is isn’t dishonesty, it’s just basic social skills.
It’s a thing that sounds deep but really is just some almost clever wordplay.
Dott
Situational and subjective perfection are, in my opinion, oxymorons. If there’s any conditionals or exceptions, whatever it is is simply not perfect.
Perfection is absolute completion. No advancement possible, no better option in any way, the incomparable best.
It is nothing but an ideal. A hypothetical impossibility.
By definition, it’s not something Dorothy wants at all. Because it’s an end. A state which cannot be progressed.
And then it can be argued that since such perfection is depressing, it’s not perfection anyway. That’s situational and subjective, which is why I would agree.
perfect in one persons eye isn’t just perfect its wishing they had what you have i think. in a sense seeing things in them that could counter all their own flaws.
The only difference being that Walky is actually interesting.
MatsuoTanuki
Hey, that hurts, its always interesting to watch a second banana try and fail to one up his cooler friend.
But seriously though, if you’re one of those people who think’s Ron is selfish or stupid or some dreck, I. Will. Fight you.
Doctor_Who
He’s fine in the books, but the movies kinda played up the idiot-comic-relief shtick.
vlademir1
Movies kinda do that a lot. Even in the books though, Ron is kinda a doof in spite of being the only real mensch among the main cast by the end.
CoMa
You mean in the movie or in the book? I can mainly remember the books, and in there even Hermione did keep her human-ness pretty well, simply because she also had her faults. As well as did Harry. The main purpose of Harry was that everybody wanted to see something special in him, when he himself only denied that – which in the end did make him special (because, let’s be honest, he could’ve developed into a power-hungry monster). I think about everyone in the book displayed human tendencies, even Voldi.
Oh, not at all. I just think he’s a pointless character who never amounts to anything, who has no personality worth mentioning, and whose only defining characteristics are “poor redhead with brothers who’s friends with the Chosen One.”
Actually he’s the kind caring openhearted guy,willing to accept Harry into his family and circle of friends. He’s loyal, openhearted, intelligent. He’s the only one of the trio who was actually born in a magical family,and thus has experience with magic outside of books. Which makes him incredibly useful.
He’s not perfect, but he’s faaaaaar from pointless. And as for ‘not amounting to anything’… he comes to accept himself, is a hero, becomes an auror and has a happy and healthy homelife, while accepting that his wife has a bigger career than he does, without feeling jealous about it. Which I’d say is a high goal to achieve for a male character.
I was trying to make you feel better about yourself, because Trump is the epitome of a mess-up trying to look better, and in comparison, you are better.
Unrealistic expectations screw up a lot of relationships, I have the opinion more so than cheating or any of the other huge events that can happen. You assume one thing or a bunch of stuff about a person’s character, and if you don’t communicate it just snowballs from there.
*by events I mean stereotypical issues like cheating, or dealing with in-laws (which can be related to that), not like illness/health problems and death which are tribulations all on their own.
I’d have to go back in the archive to check for sure, but I think that his issue here isn’t Dorothy. Walky is a smart guy and always had an easy time in high school, and he assumed that college classes would be just as easy. Instead, he’s having a hard time. Since he doesn’t have the experience to knuckle down and study, he’s retreated into his comfort zone of ‘not trying’.
I do agree that dating Dorothy might make it harder for Walky to admit what’s going wrong, but I don’t think that’s the root cause of the issue.
I think i can relate somewhat to walky here. I suspect he feels he isn’t good enough for her which honestly is/was part of why i dont date. im not good enough yet
Man, non-amazing people can still date — being worthy of asking somebody out, that’s not a very high bar.
But, I don’t know what you think constitutes not-good-enough-for-dates, or if you think of yourself accurately. It’s cool if you, like, want to clean your room before you invite people over, but I hope you don’t consider yourself fundamentally unlovable. Nobody’s that.
1. Pretty much fits the bill.
2. Honestly Trump’s problems aren’t fundamental characteristic issues, they exist in the space between fundamental characteristics and extrinsic presentation of self to the world.
Just A. Thinker
Yes. He is a hollow shell of a person, with a heart of gold. Cold, unfeeling, uncaring, gold. Glittering gilded emptiness.
Is he fundamentally unlovable? His supporters sure seem to love him, and I’m sure quite a few Nazis loved Hitler. Serial killers receive tons of fan mail. The world is really fucked up.
Leorale
Even people whom we detest ourselves, they aren’t fundamentally unlovable by anyone ever. You and I detest Trump, but we aren’t everyone in the whole world. Some people love Trump. Takes all kinds.
I exactly know where you’re coming from. Also because what you get to hear when you even just mention to someone “yeah it would be nice to have someone” they, themselves in relationships, spout things as “You only have to love yourself, love yourself first” or “It will happen when you least expect it”
Thing is if you don’t even consider yourself to be “good enough yet” you can’t really love yourself for being you completely, because you want to change how you are right now nearly constantly. And most people I know don’t get that.
And people in relationships however strong their self-esteem is tend to forget that being in a relationship (a healthy and good one, that is) is an emotional boost in itself, and it can help support your feelings about yourself in a positive way, like “I might not look perfect, but this person is together with me regardless” – or “I know I’m clumsy, but this one thinks it’s cute” etc.etc.
Most of my friends in relationships seem to forget that. A friend of mine (in a 3-year-long relationship) simply told me “bullshit” as I mentioned to her how I’m not comfortable in my body right now (I had to deal with overweight a few years back, now am slim but want to be muscular), simply because she has more weight than I do, but on her it doesn’t look like that, because my hips are wider and most of my weight is on my hips. But to her I sound as if I have body issues when I should have none – which might be the case (I’m not anorexic or underweight, to clear things up)- but I react allergic to ppl not being able to empathise with how I feel replying simply “bullshit” to my (however maybe unfounded) worries.
Man, I relate so hard to you two right now. My particular issue is holding an ungair standard for myself (fixing my health issues, mental and otherwise, for starters) before I can even be close friends, much less date. I say unfaur, because I would NEVER subject anyone else in my boat to it, so I *know* it’s dumb…but I’m not sure how to get to the point I *believe* it, if that makes sense?
Tl;dr: Don’t tell someone struggling with self-doubt/loathing they need to love themselves first. You probably mean well, but they hear something different than you think, and that will stick with them.
Halpful
Knowing something and believing it are two different things. and yeah, it can be really really fucking hard. like, I’ve been working on my mental health for >5 years and only in the last year have I been able to touch the issue of self-compassion with a ten-foot pole. 😛 Luckily, it seems to be the same shape of problem as ones I’ve already tackled with CBT/mindfulness/etc.
CoMa
I understand that. Now, because I mentioned body issues up above and to just stay in the example (I’ve got other issues too, e.g. skin problems, but bear with me for that) – I’d also NEVER judge people for how they look, if overweight or ‘too thin’, because I know their side, and some may have health problems, or some may be stress eaters (or non-eaters), or compensate emotions unknowingly with food (which e.g. I did as a teen by stuffing myself with mainly too much and fast food), but I judge myself harshly in that department.
So: I also know of that unfair standard – I use that for myself too in many departments (also mental health) – and there’s always this “When I can’t do even that, how should anyone even want to spend time with me?”
It also doesn’t help your self-esteem when everyone around you is in a loving relationship for at least a year (and my sister’s married to the guy she got together with at age 16 – and she’ll be 28 this year) and your only ‘adult’ relationship, the one time you thought you met someone actually accepting you, only lasted 1 1/2 months and his feelings ‘just changed’. And everyone of your more or less closer friends thought you’d definitely be in a relationship because you were the “most normal one of them” – just enhancing the idea of ‘you’re obviously not, if you still aren’t’ after 8 years of telling me this.
So yeah, telling someone with issues “you need to love yourself” is as useful as telling someone with depression “to just be happy” – because yeah, it’s that easy, why didn’t I think of that sooner!
In that case, it’s better to tell them what YOU like about them, so that they feel that at least they have some worth because a friend likes them for what they might consider a fault at most times (e.g. I talk too much with my friends, but one told me, she likes it on our shared drive home at night, because it keeps her from falling asleep while tired, and she likes my rambling).
My luck is just that I gained friends while I had these issues and didn’t let them go during their issues, which has kept me and them together, BEFORE I was aware of the scope of all my issues and new ones developed. But still, I don’t bother all of my friends with all of my issues because I know it would be too much for them.
So…I hope I’m still relatable somehow and didn’t drive you away with this long comment, because that somehow at the least gives me some effed up sense of community feeling that shouldn’t be needed in the first place, but it is there, because of our “standards” :/
SundaesChild
Of all the things one could do to be less relatable, telling me more of their story is the least effective. I love the opportunity to really, truly understand other people.And yeah, I get that kind of romantic frustration. I’m the eldest of my siblings, who all are or have been in serious relationships…meanwhile, the closest I got to a significant other ended up with my dad. Kinda hard to believe you’re interesting and fun to be around when that happens, though I have gotten better. I get the food issues, too, which is really hard to seek help for when you’re a dude who *ssems* healthy.
CoMa
That’s a relief to read, somehow 🙂 I’m like that too, it’s some kind of strange fulfilment to get to know other people in the way you describe, it’s widening your horizon and…hard to describe what’s going beyond that.
Yeah, after such things, it’s really difficult to fight one’s self-doubts, and I’m glad to read you’re doing better 🙂 (I do too, though last winter was unbearable). With the food issue, I can only describe it from a female point of view (and I only have one male close friend, who I know doesn’t has problems in that regard) – but I get that it must be difficult for you too, especially if other’s think from outside that you look healthy anyway.
Reminds me of this conversation with a group of friends that’s somehow only remotely relevant: I was very focused on my nutrition (after having slimmed down healthily with sport) and tried to stay away from fast food (because I know how unhealthy it is – in the end it was what made me fat very fast, especially chips, because I’m addicted to them – I lack the self-restrain to only eat a handful of them, I need to eat the whole package and after it I feel bad about it – which is why I try to follow the “don’t buy” rule) – and because I talked “too much” about it, another friend snapped at me, because she said that fast food every now and then doesn’t hurt etc.etc. and basically told me I was stupid for trying to keep them out of my diet.
Now she understands my side better (she gained, lost, and gained weight in the past years), but I still can’t talk to her about it as much as I’d maybe wanted too, because she doesn’t understand that chips are really addicting to me (I think because of the salt – I could eat the whole package, and even a second, even if my gum starts hurting) or that I see that as very bad.
(So yeah, just another part of my life. Damn, I feel like sharing today!)
244 thoughts on “Flunking”
Ana Chronistic
but you fuck so perfectly =o~~~~~|
Ana Chronistic
hahaha shit, Alt-text is good
Jay Eff
Just wait till Dorothy learns about the dreaded One-Legged “A”
Terry
a….. “P”?
begbert2
The middle earth rune for W, actually.
Tan
*glances slightly to the left*
Are you sure he still feels that way?
David
Just wait until she goes lower than b.
Baronbrian
Yep, it’s going to happen. Every grade perfectionist I saw go to college hits that point. Either the teacher is really hard, the subject itself is, or they just screw up but it happens. It’s interesting to see how they react.
TheAnonymousGuy
You mean the d
Dante
I know it’s not really that close to the same line, but now I have the song “Crazy bongo” stuck in my head. I hate that song.
Dante
I had a feeling that word was autocorrected.
Emperor Daniel
Shouty Dotty. This is new.
Pablo360
No, we’ve seen her before, back when…
…hm, no, okay, but what about…
…there was that one time, with — actually, not really…
…but what about —
—huh. This IS new.
AnvilPro
Poor Walky, tonight’s gonna get worse before it gets better
Doctor_Who
Tell me about it. By the time he gets back to his milkshake, it will have melted.
Disloyal Subject
Thermodynamics is a cruel mistress.
StClair
You can’t win
You can’t break even
You can’t get out of the game
No Name
Don’t forget the 0th law: You can’t change the rules of the game.
Emperor Norton II
Why should I tell you about it when you just told us about it?
Pablo360
But in the end, he’ll be glad it happened.
An end that’s far, far in the future, but still.
David
Gloating at Dorothy’s grave, I take it, in his wheelchair.
N0083rP00F
More likely one of those newfangled automated full care, self cleaning beds.
I think I saw it on one of those anime shorts but cant remember the title.
Ah, here it is, the Roujin Z-0001 Robotic Bed. circa 1991? Damn I feel old.
Mr D
If you look to the banner to your left, you’ll find out it ends up with Walky gettin Pegged.
Beef
That’s a reacharound, not pegging. Unless there’s a different definition of pegging which I’m not aware of (very possible)
Wizard
I don’t see why it couldn’t be both.
Spencer
It’s clearly Dorothy pulling a monster suplex on Walky.
Rowen Morland
There’s the one with the assumptions of character and the thing with the laundry.
Mr D
Well, as I only have the banner to guess…
Nicster216
first rule of dating Dorothy: NEVER ADMIT SHES NEVER PERFECT NO MATTER HOW HARD SHE TELLS YOU NOT TO XD
miados
of course she isn’t perfect. she has glasses so her eyesight isnt perfect…… thats all i got.
Commodore Counterintuitive
Plus, perfect people don’t doubt that they’re perfect, except that if they don’t, they have an ego problem, which means they’re not perfect, but if they do, they sell themselves short, which means…
The only solution is that they’re perfect because they say they’re perfect, and being perfect, whatever they say is true. Catch-22.
miados
the dilbert guy said he wanted to be three things even if logically he could only be 2 of them.
humble, honestly, and successful
in his mind you can only be two of them successfully though.
insomniac
Scott Adams is, charitably, one of the three.
miados
but the logic is fairly sound. you can be humble and honest when you are a failure but if you are honest and successful you sound like a bragard and you can only really but successful and humble if you lie for the most part.
insomniac
Not really. It’s long been remarked that the most accomplished experts in any field are the most acutely aware of their own ignorance; someone not constantly going up their own asshole about how rich they are is isn’t dishonesty, it’s just basic social skills.
It’s a thing that sounds deep but really is just some almost clever wordplay.
Dott
Situational and subjective perfection are, in my opinion, oxymorons. If there’s any conditionals or exceptions, whatever it is is simply not perfect.
Perfection is absolute completion. No advancement possible, no better option in any way, the incomparable best.
It is nothing but an ideal. A hypothetical impossibility.
By definition, it’s not something Dorothy wants at all. Because it’s an end. A state which cannot be progressed.
And then it can be argued that since such perfection is depressing, it’s not perfection anyway. That’s situational and subjective, which is why I would agree.
Pablo360
That sounds like exactly what she doesn’t want to hear right now.
First rule of dating men: They will assume you are being obtuse at all times and then blame you for being obtuse when you finally pick up on it.
See, two can play at this game.
miados
your comment made me think of the fairly odd parents theme song.
miados
perfect in one persons eye isn’t just perfect its wishing they had what you have i think. in a sense seeing things in them that could counter all their own flaws.
gehrehmee
I have a feeling this is going to get uncomfortably real for me.
AndroidDreams
Had the last part of the conversation with like, a few girls uve dated xD
Nicster216
Also I totally get where Walky is coming from, I’d feel so bad if my girlfriend was super smart and I’m just a mess up always trying to impress her
Doctor_Who
These two give me a Ron & Hermione vibe.
Pablo360
The only difference being that Walky is actually interesting.
MatsuoTanuki
Hey, that hurts, its always interesting to watch a second banana try and fail to one up his cooler friend.
But seriously though, if you’re one of those people who think’s Ron is selfish or stupid or some dreck, I. Will. Fight you.
Doctor_Who
He’s fine in the books, but the movies kinda played up the idiot-comic-relief shtick.
vlademir1
Movies kinda do that a lot. Even in the books though, Ron is kinda a doof in spite of being the only real mensch among the main cast by the end.
CoMa
You mean in the movie or in the book? I can mainly remember the books, and in there even Hermione did keep her human-ness pretty well, simply because she also had her faults. As well as did Harry. The main purpose of Harry was that everybody wanted to see something special in him, when he himself only denied that – which in the end did make him special (because, let’s be honest, he could’ve developed into a power-hungry monster). I think about everyone in the book displayed human tendencies, even Voldi.
Liliaeth
The problem with the movies, is that they gave most of Ron’s good lines, and moments of usefulness to Hermione.
Pablo360
Oh, not at all. I just think he’s a pointless character who never amounts to anything, who has no personality worth mentioning, and whose only defining characteristics are “poor redhead with brothers who’s friends with the Chosen One.”
Liliaeth
Actually he’s the kind caring openhearted guy,willing to accept Harry into his family and circle of friends. He’s loyal, openhearted, intelligent. He’s the only one of the trio who was actually born in a magical family,and thus has experience with magic outside of books. Which makes him incredibly useful.
He’s not perfect, but he’s faaaaaar from pointless. And as for ‘not amounting to anything’… he comes to accept himself, is a hero, becomes an auror and has a happy and healthy homelife, while accepting that his wife has a bigger career than he does, without feeling jealous about it. Which I’d say is a high goal to achieve for a male character.
Pablo360
Aren’t we all just mess ups trying to impress each other?
Because if not I’m going to have an existential crisis pretty soon.
Falling Star
Trump.
I think we’re okay.
Pablo360
Those two sentences should not be touching.
Falling Star
I was trying to make you feel better about yourself, because Trump is the epitome of a mess-up trying to look better, and in comparison, you are better.
Mav
Unrealistic expectations screw up a lot of relationships, I have the opinion more so than cheating or any of the other huge events that can happen. You assume one thing or a bunch of stuff about a person’s character, and if you don’t communicate it just snowballs from there.
Mav
*by events I mean stereotypical issues like cheating, or dealing with in-laws (which can be related to that), not like illness/health problems and death which are tribulations all on their own.
ShowFromSpace
I’d have to go back in the archive to check for sure, but I think that his issue here isn’t Dorothy. Walky is a smart guy and always had an easy time in high school, and he assumed that college classes would be just as easy. Instead, he’s having a hard time. Since he doesn’t have the experience to knuckle down and study, he’s retreated into his comfort zone of ‘not trying’.
I do agree that dating Dorothy might make it harder for Walky to admit what’s going wrong, but I don’t think that’s the root cause of the issue.
Rowanmikaio
Yes I also think that’s the case, but that excuse was in response to her question “Why didn’t you tell me?”, not an excuse for the failing itself.
miados
I think i can relate somewhat to walky here. I suspect he feels he isn’t good enough for her which honestly is/was part of why i dont date. im not good enough yet
Leorale
Man, non-amazing people can still date — being worthy of asking somebody out, that’s not a very high bar.
But, I don’t know what you think constitutes not-good-enough-for-dates, or if you think of yourself accurately. It’s cool if you, like, want to clean your room before you invite people over, but I hope you don’t consider yourself fundamentally unlovable. Nobody’s that.
Chris Phoenix
So… Trump is nobody?
vlademir1
1. Pretty much fits the bill.
2. Honestly Trump’s problems aren’t fundamental characteristic issues, they exist in the space between fundamental characteristics and extrinsic presentation of self to the world.
Just A. Thinker
Yes. He is a hollow shell of a person, with a heart of gold. Cold, unfeeling, uncaring, gold. Glittering gilded emptiness.
Is he fundamentally unlovable? His supporters sure seem to love him, and I’m sure quite a few Nazis loved Hitler. Serial killers receive tons of fan mail. The world is really fucked up.
Leorale
Even people whom we detest ourselves, they aren’t fundamentally unlovable by anyone ever. You and I detest Trump, but we aren’t everyone in the whole world. Some people love Trump. Takes all kinds.
CoMa
I exactly know where you’re coming from. Also because what you get to hear when you even just mention to someone “yeah it would be nice to have someone” they, themselves in relationships, spout things as “You only have to love yourself, love yourself first” or “It will happen when you least expect it”
Thing is if you don’t even consider yourself to be “good enough yet” you can’t really love yourself for being you completely, because you want to change how you are right now nearly constantly. And most people I know don’t get that.
And people in relationships however strong their self-esteem is tend to forget that being in a relationship (a healthy and good one, that is) is an emotional boost in itself, and it can help support your feelings about yourself in a positive way, like “I might not look perfect, but this person is together with me regardless” – or “I know I’m clumsy, but this one thinks it’s cute” etc.etc.
Most of my friends in relationships seem to forget that. A friend of mine (in a 3-year-long relationship) simply told me “bullshit” as I mentioned to her how I’m not comfortable in my body right now (I had to deal with overweight a few years back, now am slim but want to be muscular), simply because she has more weight than I do, but on her it doesn’t look like that, because my hips are wider and most of my weight is on my hips. But to her I sound as if I have body issues when I should have none – which might be the case (I’m not anorexic or underweight, to clear things up)- but I react allergic to ppl not being able to empathise with how I feel replying simply “bullshit” to my (however maybe unfounded) worries.
SundaesChild
Man, I relate so hard to you two right now. My particular issue is holding an ungair standard for myself (fixing my health issues, mental and otherwise, for starters) before I can even be close friends, much less date. I say unfaur, because I would NEVER subject anyone else in my boat to it, so I *know* it’s dumb…but I’m not sure how to get to the point I *believe* it, if that makes sense?
Tl;dr: Don’t tell someone struggling with self-doubt/loathing they need to love themselves first. You probably mean well, but they hear something different than you think, and that will stick with them.
Halpful
Knowing something and believing it are two different things. and yeah, it can be really really fucking hard. like, I’ve been working on my mental health for >5 years and only in the last year have I been able to touch the issue of self-compassion with a ten-foot pole. 😛 Luckily, it seems to be the same shape of problem as ones I’ve already tackled with CBT/mindfulness/etc.
CoMa
I understand that. Now, because I mentioned body issues up above and to just stay in the example (I’ve got other issues too, e.g. skin problems, but bear with me for that) – I’d also NEVER judge people for how they look, if overweight or ‘too thin’, because I know their side, and some may have health problems, or some may be stress eaters (or non-eaters), or compensate emotions unknowingly with food (which e.g. I did as a teen by stuffing myself with mainly too much and fast food), but I judge myself harshly in that department.
So: I also know of that unfair standard – I use that for myself too in many departments (also mental health) – and there’s always this “When I can’t do even that, how should anyone even want to spend time with me?”
It also doesn’t help your self-esteem when everyone around you is in a loving relationship for at least a year (and my sister’s married to the guy she got together with at age 16 – and she’ll be 28 this year) and your only ‘adult’ relationship, the one time you thought you met someone actually accepting you, only lasted 1 1/2 months and his feelings ‘just changed’. And everyone of your more or less closer friends thought you’d definitely be in a relationship because you were the “most normal one of them” – just enhancing the idea of ‘you’re obviously not, if you still aren’t’ after 8 years of telling me this.
So yeah, telling someone with issues “you need to love yourself” is as useful as telling someone with depression “to just be happy” – because yeah, it’s that easy, why didn’t I think of that sooner!
In that case, it’s better to tell them what YOU like about them, so that they feel that at least they have some worth because a friend likes them for what they might consider a fault at most times (e.g. I talk too much with my friends, but one told me, she likes it on our shared drive home at night, because it keeps her from falling asleep while tired, and she likes my rambling).
My luck is just that I gained friends while I had these issues and didn’t let them go during their issues, which has kept me and them together, BEFORE I was aware of the scope of all my issues and new ones developed. But still, I don’t bother all of my friends with all of my issues because I know it would be too much for them.
So…I hope I’m still relatable somehow and didn’t drive you away with this long comment, because that somehow at the least gives me some effed up sense of community feeling that shouldn’t be needed in the first place, but it is there, because of our “standards” :/
SundaesChild
Of all the things one could do to be less relatable, telling me more of their story is the least effective. I love the opportunity to really, truly understand other people.And yeah, I get that kind of romantic frustration. I’m the eldest of my siblings, who all are or have been in serious relationships…meanwhile, the closest I got to a significant other ended up with my dad. Kinda hard to believe you’re interesting and fun to be around when that happens, though I have gotten better. I get the food issues, too, which is really hard to seek help for when you’re a dude who *ssems* healthy.
CoMa
That’s a relief to read, somehow 🙂 I’m like that too, it’s some kind of strange fulfilment to get to know other people in the way you describe, it’s widening your horizon and…hard to describe what’s going beyond that.
Yeah, after such things, it’s really difficult to fight one’s self-doubts, and I’m glad to read you’re doing better 🙂 (I do too, though last winter was unbearable). With the food issue, I can only describe it from a female point of view (and I only have one male close friend, who I know doesn’t has problems in that regard) – but I get that it must be difficult for you too, especially if other’s think from outside that you look healthy anyway.
Reminds me of this conversation with a group of friends that’s somehow only remotely relevant: I was very focused on my nutrition (after having slimmed down healthily with sport) and tried to stay away from fast food (because I know how unhealthy it is – in the end it was what made me fat very fast, especially chips, because I’m addicted to them – I lack the self-restrain to only eat a handful of them, I need to eat the whole package and after it I feel bad about it – which is why I try to follow the “don’t buy” rule) – and because I talked “too much” about it, another friend snapped at me, because she said that fast food every now and then doesn’t hurt etc.etc. and basically told me I was stupid for trying to keep them out of my diet.
Now she understands my side better (she gained, lost, and gained weight in the past years), but I still can’t talk to her about it as much as I’d maybe wanted too, because she doesn’t understand that chips are really addicting to me (I think because of the salt – I could eat the whole package, and even a second, even if my gum starts hurting) or that I see that as very bad.
(So yeah, just another part of my life. Damn, I feel like sharing today!)