123

Forward
Posted on March 15, 2012 by David M Willis
Please stop telling me about that thieving webcomic app. I really really do appreciate your concern, and it warms my heart that there are folks out there looking out for me, but every webcomic artist in the world found out about it a week ago, and we've been getting told about it every fifteen minutes since then.

123 thoughts on “Forward”

  1. Plasma Mongoose

    …running into exs.

    1. Wonder Wig

      y?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Y NOT! 😛

        1. Nee Hou

          “Y NOT!”
          You may run into some ZZZzzzzz….

        2. TheBenenator

          WOBBUFFET!

          …Sorry.

      2. Thor

        I z what u did there.

        1. Twentydragon

          A now, b nice.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Mind your Ps and Qs.

        3. Khrene Cleaver

          Plasma. can’t beleive you didnt c the pattern. I was d pending on you.

        4. Gordon Blvd

          E-mazing that yr pattern was F’d up, G 😉

        5. Black Bumblebee

          You don’t need H with his keen I to see this pattern…

        6. Jackson

          A pun combo with nothing but individual letters? O bloody L.

        7. Nee Hou

          Get some OJ, K?

        8. Plasma Mongoose

          RRRRRR thissssss is giving me a headache, I need a cup of T.

        9. Nicholas "Lavacano" O'Connor

          As a man working for the CIA, I can say the POWs are treated OK. I’m hungry so I’m going to order KFC on my PDA. ETA on this is…GODDAMMIT AT&T

      3. Henry

        Because people don’t like it when you collide with them.

        1. xainoforgv

          oh it can be quite fun to collide with exes just not the way seen above

        2. N0083rP00F

          All to true – Being in a motor vehicle is much more satisfying …. what?

        3. Kirt Dankmyer

          She’s not positioned in the correct way to make the collision the most fun.

  2. Izzy

    Lol

  3. Jetstream

    So very serious, Dorothy. You need some… Hijinks!

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      She totally needs more hijinks in her life to prevent burn-out. Besides, Walky is too adorkable not to love his distractions.

    2. OhHayMike

      Not just hijinks, ironic hijinks!

  4. Tricia

    Awkward!

    1. fellixe

      “I need to look forward instead of awkward.”

      Yes. That works quite well.

      1. Kaylee

        This is my new motto!

        1. fellixe

          It should be stitched into all men’s sweater vests. This will hasten the extinction of men’s sweater vests.

        2. wererat

          until the hipsters discover that it’s ironic and start buying them.

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        It’s a pity that forward and awkward don’t rhyme, otherwise very quotable.

        1. Kernanator

          But awkward and backward sorta do!

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          It might also depend on what kind of accent you have.

          For example, when I say backward, I pronounce it ‘back-wood’ while I pronouce awkward as ‘all-quord’.

        3. Sethaius

          Heh, that honestly sounds like a great accent, in my opinion.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          It’s due to my distorted Aussie accent.

        5. N0083rP00F

          0.0 Isn’t that redundant or is that a variation on Glawegian??

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          Not exactly, while I was born and raised in Australia, I spent a great deal of after-school childhood with babysitters of various nationalities, all of them with strong distictive accents, ranging from Highland scottish to Indian, so it kinda contaminated my accent somewhat.

          It’s not as obvious now as it has been a few decades since then but people still notice sometimes.

        7. Kernanator

          Whereas I say it like back-wurd and auk-wurd.

        8. fellixe

          Wurd

        9. Khrene Cleaver

          .Thats pretty close to the to the way I say i and IMA ‘MERICAN. Ahem… but I guess I don’t really stress the L’s in all though.

        10. Justin

          How can you -not- stress the Ls in ‘all’? I mean… that’s all there is to that word, a bunch of Ls. Now I’m going to spend the next 8 hours trying to figure out how to say ‘all’ without stressing the Ls. My entire work day is wasted.

        11. MeHael

          awwww

        12. Rognik

          How are things in Merica, anyway?

  5. 5ony

    Oh yeah, baby. IT JUST GOT REAL.
    Seriously though, I laughed when I saw this. The situations these kids get into.

  6. Wonder Wig

    “Dorothy, why do you smell like Chicken McNuggets?

    1. ryan

      “Danny, why do you smell like booze?”

  7. Mkvenner

    He’s a glasses magnet.

    1. Izzy

      Her glasses aren’t even touching him. More like a boob or head magnet

      1. Khrene Cleaver

        A boob and a head magnet!? Joe must be rubbing off ole Danny boy!

    2. PureLionHeart

      How can I attain such power? Tell me please!

  8. Vabolo

    Man, Danny just keeps banging all the chicks in this comic.

    1. fellixe

      With that grav I reflexively read all your comments in Otto Mann’s voice. It works especially well here.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Otto Mann? As it the solid holographic man from the show Automan?

        1. Roninwolf

          The bus driver in “The Simpsons”

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I totally forgotten about him, it has been so long since I watched that show.

        3. fellixe

          Automan! Totally cool reference! That brings me back to bad sci-fi TV like the motorcycle version (kinda) Street Hawk.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          This year, I rewatched Automan for the first time since the 1980s and while it does have a certain charm, I can easily see why it never got a 2nd season.

    2. xainoforgv

      wait so danny is banging everyone in this universe and joe has consistenly struck out so danny is a more effective joe than joe is … something is very wrong

      1. David

        You are reading a very different comic, I think.

  9. Spammy McSpamster

    What’s this stealing app?

    1. Jen Aside

      http://chrishanel.tumblr.com/post/19196576643/spread-the-word-updated

      It’s been delisted now, so no worries [for now]

  10. LimeTH

    Huh, go figure.

  11. Kernanator

    Yes. Look forward. That is what people usually do when they walk.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It is just as well that she has got ‘airbags’ to reduce possible injury.

      1. Kernanator

        Well, it’s a good thing Dorothy’s airbags reduced the impact…

        Because I think Danny is about to have an “accident”.

      2. Doctor_Who

        Is that what those things are for? Wow, aesthetically pleasing, able to dispense nourishment for infants, and a useful safety feature.

        I hope God gave whatever angel came up with those some sort of product design award!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          So boobies are proof that there is a God? I would love to hear a minister use this arguement next time he preaches in church.

        2. Doctor_Who

          Joe would be first in line to convert. I know he’s Jewish, but his true religion has always been boobs.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          But Jews already believe in God, it’s Jesus that have issues with.

        4. Izzy

          Not all Jews have Jesus issues. Some are basically Christians, but still keepto all the strict jewishy rules

        5. KresyAntics

          They have two useful safety features… 1) in case of crash landings in water those with “extra added buoyancy” can be used as a floation device. 2) As seen in Dot’s crash test dummy act into Danny…

    2. Cybersnark

      No, people don’t usually look forward when they walk. They look in every other direction possible, but rarely in the direction they’re actually going.

      Stupid pedestrians.

      1. MeHael

        I look down to avoid stepping in whatever the animals left on the sidewalk.

  12. Aeron

    Jeez, is Danny really that tall or is Dorothy really that short? “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to look all the way down your hair.” 😀

    1. David

      Consistency! http://www.dumbingofage.com/2010/comic/book-1/01-move-in-day/together/

      1. Thor

        But . . . but . . . but it’s consistency, then why are her lips different colors now?

        YOU’RE MESSING WITH OUR TINY MINDS, WILLIS!

        1. John

          She got Walky on her mouth.

        2. Rognik

          Maybe she’s using a different lip gloss now.

        3. Thor

          Negative, Ghost Rider. When she goes to the mandatory floor meeting with the RA, she has dusty rose lips, upper and lower. (See strip “Pizza”.) As she is leaving the meeting, her upper lip is now brown, while her lower lip is still dusty rose. (See strip “Answer”.) Both lips were back to dusty rose the next day (“Drama”) and through the morning of the following day (“Divert”), but on her way to class the top lip turned brown again, while the bottom lip blended into her fleshtone (“Hi”) and it has remained the same ever since.

          It is truly inexplicable.

        4. Roborat

          Son, you have waaaaaaay to much free time on your hands. Anyway, your observestion skills have impressed me immensely.

    2. Bekah

      If I were to guess, and who am I kidding, this is totally a guess, I’d say that Danny is about 5’9 or 5’10. Given the height difference between him and Dorothy, that’d make her about 5’3 or 5’4. Which, if you look it up, is average height for a woman in North America.

      1. Justin

        Behold, the power of statistics!

        1. N0083rP00F

          I am now obliged to post a Haiku….

          Numbers never lie,
          Science and Engineering,
          Then there’s Statistics

        2. Bekah

          No, just a girl who’s 5’3 and hates it when guys call her short.

        3. Aeron

          i wouldn’t dare call you short… though I might pat your head a lot.

  13. Daeva

    Somehow, I’m reminded of this

    1. Kernanator

      Only Dorothy could be pissed about being happy.

  14. NCP19

    The way Dorothy’s breast looks all pointy in the last panel I feel like Danny just got stabbed…but you know, in a good way.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      If sje were a lot taller, Danny would lose an eye.

      1. Khrene Cleaver

        Or if she were a bit shorter he’d lose a penis.

    2. Justin

      Pointy breasts are so 1960s.

      1. Rognik

        Or 80’s Madonna.

  15. Ridureyu

    Can’t wait for Danny to get FILLED WITH ENRAGING JEALOUSY… toward Walky of all people.

    1. Historyman68

      Who could stay mad at Walky?

    2. Rognik

      Danny’s more likely to mope than get angry-jealous. Passive aggressiveness all around!

    3. Tenn

      Or Danny getting filled with Walky’s raging… *’o’*

    4. AJBulldis

      Actually Danny flipping out and physically assaulting Walky would be the craziest twist of all. Course it might also get him arrested.

  16. Zoey

    you all crack me up just as much as the comics!

  17. Liberal1337

    And then she got pregnant.

    1. Kernanator

      You should wear protection at all times. Never know what might happen.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Good to know that your grav is setting a good example then. 😀

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          Yes kern and his grav are always telling his peers that they should protect their head!

  18. Arkadi

    Whoops.

    1. Jackson

      Welcome to Unintended Literalism Theater, with your unwitting host, Dorothy Keener.

  19. HMRC4EVR

    Is anyone else getting a Kim Possible/Ron Stoppable vibe from Dorothy and Walky?

    1. Spazman

      now that you mention it….

      just with Monkey Master instead of Rufus and Mcnuggets instead of Nacos!

      1. Rognik

        Call me, beep me, if you want to reach me?

  20. Accidentist

    and then the flood gates get released.

  21. Rognik

    My, this looks like a sticky situation…

  22. Kirt Dankmyer

    Dorothy, think about how HAPPY you are in the second panel. It’s OK to “waste your time”.

    1. begbert2

      Depends on how much studying you need to do to get by in college. There are people who can afford to spend all their time romancin’ like Walky, and then there are the women whose academic careers he will destroy if they try to reciprocate.

      1. MeHael

        I think that romancin’ is about as important to Walky as studying is.

  23. Lord Synick XXIII

    You know, I’ve been a JoycexWalky shipper since Dumbing of Age began…but I think WalkyxDorothy is actually a much better pairing now…GAAAH

    1. Lord Synick XXIII

      Damn thee, Joe!

    2. voodoo_curse

      You sir are mistaken

  24. Blob Marley

    God dammit, Dotty. You really are just my Big Ex all over again. Which makes me either Walky or Danny. I’m not sure which one of those I dread more.

  25. vlademir1

    Apropos to nothing in this strip, but instead having to do with the poll I’ve consistently failed to notice since Sunday… I find it impossible to decide between DoA and It’s Walky.

    1. Jackson

      Can’t help but notice that DoA is in the lead, followed by Shortpacked. I wonder if Shortpacked would be in the lead if the poll ran on the Shortpacked site.

      1. Aydr

        Probably.

      2. David

        …oh, huh. Shortpacked! was in a very far lead a few days ago. Didn’t notice the dynamic switching.

      3. voodoocurse

        I think Joyce & Walky would have far more votes if more people had been exposed to it. I wonder if they will ever become free….

        1. David

          The subscription comics will always remain pay in some form or another, whether in their current HTML form or in a possible future book form.

  26. Ryan Balis

    NO! everyone except Danny!

  27. Jamie North

    This, ladies and gentlemen, is called irony.

    1. Maycroft

      “… bumping into the past”

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