157

Fresh start
Posted on March 22, 2013 by David M Willis

157 thoughts on “Fresh start”

  1. NCP19

    “That’s our, Walky!”

    1. Skull025

      That’s also a fiiiiiiine trophy.

      1. Resne

        Dat caramel.

  2. Jen Aside

    That’s a “That FIEND” face in panel 1!

    On a side note, I saw that “Brony Scalping” was coined as stealing the fedoras off of bronies and nailing them to the wall as trophies if they don’t try to get them back.

    1. Audiophillie

      I don’t have a fedora…

      1. The Cakemeister

        Neither do I, I’m not sure how well this scalping trend will go.

        1. Kavonde

          I don’t know, but I’m leaving mine at home from now on.

        2. Sir Robin

          I only take fashion advice from one pony, and she says fedoras are not fabulous

        3. Aeyt

          Well we all should at least be aware that there is a one fedora per group of friends rule. Nobody wants to look extra foolish.

    2. Baroncognito

      That sounds like Pick-up artist scalping to me.

      http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/20-reasons-you-shouldnt-date-men-who-wear-fedoras

      1. Historyman68

        That list infuriates me. For many reasons, such as the complete tonal inconsistency. Some lines are sarcastic, some are not, and there’s no rhyme or reason to it.

      2. Hest

        Looks like OKCupid user scalping to me.

    3. ADHadh

      It’s they own fault, they have no business wearing a fedora without a three-piece suit to match.
      And most of them are wearing trillbies anyway. They lose nothing of value.

      1. Ross_Varn

        This. Exactly this.

  3. Regalli

    I vote Ethan become a shirt thief on the run from the law in the next crisis! Who’s with me?!

    1. Doctor_Who

      And starts dating Malaya.

      1. timemonkey

        Who is now a dude.

        1. GoldStarz

          Malaya is apparently a unisex name…

        2. JoeMerl

          “I’m Mal. Short for ‘Malaya.’ My stupid mom wanted a girl.”

        3. Regalli

          He COULD get out of it by claiming it’s short for ‘Malcolm’, but someone mentioned Firefly once and he had to stop or else someone might associate him with nerds.

          And according to the first baby name website I pulled up, it apparently is unisex.

        4. Mal

          I… I just… I’m not…

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          That or she’s a lady-boy. 😀

        6. Yotomoe

          Malaya is more man than Ethan can handle.

        7. Andy

          Please don’t.

        8. fit-to-freak

          Plasma, I would say you probably shouldn’t be using that word as it can be offensive to transgendered people.

        9. John

          Nah, she’s still a chick. Takes Ethan out on a nice romantic date, and they kiss… and that’s when he realizes he’s not into girls.

  4. Wonder Wig

    Macho, macho man,
    Walky thinks,
    He’s a macho man.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Next thing you know, he will accuse him of staying at the YMCA and being in the Navy.

      1. Yotomoe

        I don’t know what you’re talking about. You can tell by the way he walks that he’s a woman’s man, no time to talk.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I’ve been kicked around since I was born.

        2. AndromedaRage

          Now, that joke’s alright…it’s ok. I guess I’ll look the other way.

    2. BlueRam

      You can best believe that, he’s a macho man~
      And you he’s down with, anyone who can~

    3. Roborat

      Don’t you mean “Nacho man”?

      1. Narf

        I want to be a – *homph homph* – nacho man!!

  5. Count Dracula

    Amber is many things, but a hussy she is not.

  6. Thores

    I love how Joyce looks like she’s considering the possibility of Walky’s theory being true in the last panel.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      You can almost hear her gears grinding as she thinks “Holy pifflesticks, Walky just might be onto something…”

      1. Yotomoe

        I’ve been underestimating him all this time.

    2. Zababcd

      Dina looks like she’s completely on board with it.

  7. Memyself

    “What does that hussy think she’s going”?

    1. Yotomoe

      She’s going your mom for a nickel.

  8. John Madden

    Oh Walky, you rascal.

  9. addude

    And the one Dina is going to say Ethan’s gay and hiding it and they won’t believe her.

    1. John

      Nah, Dina’s too busy trying out her new Twitter account.

      (The everybody link, incidentally, isn’t working.)

      1. xKiv

        It works for me, and this browser doesn’t even have javascript (I was surprised; so many “social” sites today simply don’t show any content if they can’t load it dynamically).

        1. John

          Yeah, it’s working again now. Dunno if Willis fixed something or if Twitter just unfucked itself.

        2. Kelly

          The name changed, it did not have hyphens in it before.

    2. timemonkey

      She IS Amber’s roommate, and they’ve been hanging out, Amber may have mentioned it.

      1. SUGauthor

        She’s known the whole time but she didn’t think it was worth mentioning.

        1. JoeMerl

          Maybe she knows he’s “gay” but doesn’t actually know what that means, so she doesn’t see any reason it complicates her and Joyce’s relationship.

        2. JoeMerl

          *”HIS and Joyce’s”

        3. xKiv

          Well .. it certainly doesn’t complicate Dina’s and Joyce’s relationship, or does it?

        4. Yotomoe

          She doesn’t even know how normal relationships work. She just assumed people kiss each other casually.

        5. timemonkey

          If she’s trying to be more normal does that mean she’ll go around kissing random people now? Will Amber’s first unwanted kiss with a girl be with Dina in this universe?

      2. Greenygal

        Specifically, Dina was standing behind the door when Amber and Ethan discussed the drama of Ethan’s coming out. I’m not sure if she was paying attention, or for that matter if she knows what “coming out” means, but potentially she knows.

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    Walky, your logic is impeccable… 😛

    1. Yotomoe

      try as I might, I cannot pec his logic.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Its ABSolutely perfect.

        1. SUGauthor

          It sounded kind of ASSinine to me

        2. Geegles

          I’m personally going to stay thighlent on the issue.

        3. Zababcd

          I’m not entirely sure that I get the pun chain theme. However, because I’m not posting in the pun chain, I kneed to at least make an attempt to join in.

        4. Zababcd

          *now

        5. Andiemus

          It took me a second. I didn’t see your pun before(arm).

    2. Arkadi

      It’s like it’s sculpted out of chocolate. Chocolate logic.

      1. Yotomoe

        Close! It’s Caramel logic.

      2. Rognik

        Chocolate logic is more Sarah’s specialty.

    3. Roborat

      And the pecs aren’t bad either.

      I’m sorry, I couldn’t think of a pun.

  11. Wack'd

    Well, folks were right about the idea that Ethan being gay wouldn’t even register as a possibility for Joyce.

    1. begbert2

      To be entirely fair to Joyce, she is pretty, and stacked, and they obviously know each other, and Amber was pissed to see Ethan kissing another woman. The evidence could easily lead to the opposite conclusion: that Ethan’s a womanizer.

      Which, of course, would be Amber’s fault.

  12. Doctor_Who

    I love that Danny is just standing there. He hasn’t said anything, and nobody is even acknowledging that he’s there.

    Crud, he’s sort of the male Dina, isn’t he. I’d ship it. Their dates will consist entirely of awkward silences, while louder characters do funny things in the foreground.

    1. DanielleM

      He said, “I’m sure you’re safe.” in the last panel. That’s a shared speech bubble and he also looks pretty pissed off.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Oops, didn’t realize it was a two person bubble.

      2. Rognik

        Which begs the question, is Danny being witty here? I didn’t think he had it in him. Plus, he agrees completely with Dorothy. Perhaps there is something to the two of them…

        1. begbert2

          Danny has a very low opinion of Walky. The notion of him being ‘manly’ just begs for correction. Even by his girlfriend!

    2. timemonkey

      Is it awkward if Dina has no problem being silent and largely ignored?

      1. Roborat

        No. That’s how you avoid being eaten, after all.

  13. Wack'd

    Also, don’t forget that you can discuss this comic in GLORIOUS REALTIME on super-modern IRC at Nightstar.net, channel name #dumbingofage !

    1. Rognik

      Subtle.

  14. Wack'd

    …oh wait Amber mentioned that she used to date a gay guy to Danny, so he in fact totally knows what’s going on.

    1. John

      Danny? Putting together clues to reach an obvious conclusion? Boy hasn’t even figured out that the two women that he’s seeing are really Sal and Spider-Car.

  15. timemonkey

    I’d laugh if Danny figures it out, somebody in this group needs some common sense.

    1. Wack'd

      As I just mentioned, Danny probably already has! At last if he’s been paying attention to Amber at all.

      1. timemonkey

        I think he’s too busy glaring at Walky to have put it together yet. he may not have been paying attention to anything else.

  16. Ragnal

    I wonder if Dorothy gets what’s going on. There was that time Amber and Ethan were talking, and afterwards Amber was saying how nice a guy he was, and Dorothy was like, “…he’s gay, isn’t he?”

    1. timemonkey

      That was Joyce, not Amber.

      1. Ragnal

        Thank you, this is what I get for not proofing.

    2. SUGauthor

      The second Danny mentions Amber dated a gay guy, they’re all gonna realize it at once.

  17. BlueRam

    So what’s a “talk dark stranger”?

  18. ridtom

    Wow it looks like Danny’s still pissed at Walky, he didn’t even crack a smile!

    1. Yotomoe

      Walky is *presumably* banging his ex.

  19. Uniqueantique

    Dina’s doing what Dina does best in this type of situation: she can’t help anyone, so she will just watch.
    If more people followed her example there would be a lot less drama in the world.
    Joyce has done well. Now to see if Ethan can redeem himself.

  20. La Vida Mocha

    It’s not quite Amber about to rain down the wrath of God, but I’m still enjoying Joyce’s diabolical supervillain pose in panel 1

  21. Somebody

    First panel: I hate when girls do that!

    1. Yotomoe

      I just don’t like people assuming others are hussies. Stop it. All the real hussies aren’t getting the credit they deserve when you do that.

    2. Arkadi

      I hear you man. If only girls wouldn’t go around frowning and clenching their fists like that.

  22. Tagg

    Typical Walky, and I see Danny still likely hates his guts.

  23. JoeMerl

    Dina: Or he’s gay. I mean, I’m not the only one who got a gay vibe from him, right?

    1. Mr Soviet

      I really wanna see this happen. even though everyone would probably just stare at her

    2. Yotomoe

      They make gay vibes? That sounds hot.

    3. Wizard

      It’s a little-known fact that many dinosaur species possessed excellent gaydar.

  24. Sloth

    …Can someone please shut Joyce up alread–oh. …thank you Walky.
    He’s just so convenient.

  25. Icalasari

    Alt text has a typo. You put Talk dark instead of Tall dark

  26. 31stwalker

    Uh-oh is Joyce gonna have to choke a hussy?

    1. Yotomoe

      Is Joyce Brown gonna have to Choke a B-word?

  27. Markus

    Oooookay. I can see where this is going. In the end, Joyce and Walky can be delusional together.

  28. Arkadi

    By the way, I talk dark stranger too 😀 Anyone else does?

  29. Underachiever007

    I’m just starting to read this, and I’ve got a question: are the pairings going to work out the same way they did in Shortpacked? Or is this going to go with the whole alt-universe conceit and be all new pairings? I’m so used to Joyce and Walky being a couple that it might break my heart if they were, you know, not a couple.

    Also, something tells me this question is irrelevant and none of the readers are equipped to answer it.

    1. Yotomoe

      We’re, in fact, all equipt to answer it. No. These will not be the same as the Walkyverse. This is a different universe. Different relationships will be formed by people who hadn’t even met initially. Anything goes.

    2. SUGauthor

      I really can’t imagine Joyce and Walky ever getting together in this universe.

      1. timemonkey

        I can, but they both need to grow first. Granted, I’m not shipping them but I could see it happening.

  30. Jay

    …. Somehow Walky even has me convinced that’s way more likely XD
    Except wouldn’t he steal Transformers and G.I. Joe collections??

  31. Kernanator

    Panel 1: She will rue the day she messed with Joyce Brown!

  32. HEYOUGUYZ!

    I pity the hussy who husses with Joyce brown.

  33. Jay

    —-^
    They always seem friendly and peace loving but Joyce looks like she’d go holy crusade at any moment now XD

  34. bunivasal

    Ah, Joyce. Stupid, insecure, suspicious Joyce. Even if Ethan was totally not hot for men and their penises and stuff, this attitude would damn their relationship.

  35. kurlykris

    I sat down and read these all in one night. I had no prior knowledge of these characters but I started reading roomies and shortpacked. Where can I read its walky and joyce and walky? I am in love with these characters!

    1. Kelly

      It’s Walky is the same site as Roomies (ItsWalky.com), it starts here: http://www.itswalky.com/d/19991225.html

      But things got rolling with the aliens before that, Roomies pretty much blends into It’s Walky. And of course things are a disorganized over there, the design is terrible, etc, which is why Willis has started http://bringbackroomies.com If you can stand to wait and not archive binge, I would just read that.

      As for Joce and Walky, that is here: http://shortpacked.bigcartel.com/product/joyce-and-walky-complete Well worth the money!

      1. Kelly

        *Joyce

        1. kurlykris

          Thank you so much!

  36. kurlykris

    Also, the avatar they picked for me is perfect <3

  37. Notebooked

    Lookit Danny’s disdainful face as he delivers that vaudeville gag. He does not approve.
    Joyce is sort of interesting here, especially given the context. Earlier, she was very insecure about her desires, and now she’s clinging to the image of Ethan as her boyfriend like a rabid wolverine. (Which is basically the same thing as a regular wolverine, except it froths when it says ‘bub’.) Indicating more that she wants a relationship because she’s supposed to, not because she actually wants one. Dotty and Walky want what they’re in, and that’s why they seem perfect to her, but she can’t really force those desires or force that feeling of rightness. Hopefully she’ll realize that before getting into a sham marriage.

    1. Notebooked

      Also, does Joyce seriously think secret girlfriends are A Thing?

    2. begbert2

      Joyce is insecure about her sexual desires, but rock-solid secure in her desire to have a steady loving fundamentalist christian husband for whom to be barefoot and pregnant, especially the latter due to lots of pastor-authorized post-marital hanky-panky.

      1. Notebooked

        That’s true — and I hadn’t really considered her view on post-marital hanky-panky. Mentally she accepts that, but if she hasn’t had any physical experience before, it’ll probably be more or less awkward for all parties.

  38. Jay

    ..how is it Dina totally shoved the evolution argument right back into Joyce’s throat, yet she has absolutely no good info to divulge at the one moment she should?

    A: BECAUSE SHES SMART XD
    Dinosaurs are simple. Homo-sapiens are a chaotic mess that somehow resemble mammals

  39. Jay

    http://www.facebook.com/JHorner27123

    Do with it what you will Mr. Walky 😉

  40. KLG

    Gonna make us wait for the Amber talk eh Willis?

  41. Josh

    Replace “cops” with closet, and “murderin'” with ogling and Walky isn’t too far off.

  42. HLY

    …walky was so close, and then he just… well, he’s walky after all

  43. Farmer_10

    This weekend Cliffhanger isn’t sexy at all. Willis you oathbreaking rapscallion!

    1. SUGauthor

      Maybe Willis has a shirt thief fetish.

  44. Dr.Z

    Where’s the laugh track???

  45. drs

    From the way they’re drawn I’m guessing that a population survey would rank Joyce as prettier than Amber…

    1. McKathlin

      Hard to tell; practically all the characters are drawn in a way that’s ambiguously “cute”. But Amber does dress for comfort more than looks, and Joyce has just seen her in an unflattering angry-faced moment, so Joyce’s sizing Amber up as “pretty” is interesting, and probably says more about Joyce than it does about Amber.

    2. John

      *eyes the population survey on the right*

      Doesn’t look that way! Actually, she’s apparently the least attractive lady in the room.

      1. Kelly

        which population? this one?

  46. Das BookPimp (@The_BookPimp)

    But…What if Walky is Right?

  47. EKHawkman

    Man, more drama and stuff! Dumbing of Age delivers the best birthday presents EVER!

  48. JBO

    BEST. ALT TEXT. EVAR.

    Well maybe not evar. Xkcd had some better ones.
    But still pretty funny.

  49. Jay

    :3

  50. Jay

    –^
    It still wont let me have a different picture. fair ‘nough

  51. Li

    Just going on record to say that I feel like part of Joyce is right now enthusiastically roleplaying as every jilted woman she’s ever seen in media, and I think it’s pretty darned cute.

    What she has absorbed from media is, of course, depressing — like it would be if a robot announced: “Now replicating pattern D56-ALPHA of FEMALE BEHAVIOR: assume other women are all after my man and proceed to hate them irrationally. JUDGING THEM BASED ON THEIR ATTRACTIVENESS RELATIVE TO MY OWN and DEVELOPING LOW SELF-ESTEEM modules installing…”

    It’s a big box of really unfortunate and really prevelant cliches that the naive human emulator bot has decided are just The Way Women Work (TM), and who can blame it, with all the information it’s absorbed through study of our culture?

  52. djhash

    Even though he keeps on being ragged on, I’d love to be Walky any time of the day!

  53. Jay

    Who wouldn’t want to be Walky?
    Not only is he smart enough to breeze through his courses (apparently. High school slackers dont get into secondary education)
    He’s smart enough not to let the overload to get to him
    Unlike Dotty xD
    (Amber’s problems stem from way too much time spent in front of her computer)

    1. John

      Based on my own experience as a literal genius who slacked through high school and got into college on the strength of what I could do when I wasn’t even trying and an amazing SAT score… Walky’s going to have some problems if and when he hits subject matter that actually challenges him (and, however smart he may be, a major university can do that), and doesn’t have the skills or habits to actually study.

      With luck, his relationship with Dorothy will help him develop those skills and habits before he gets there. And help her loosen up a little, which she also needs or she’ll burn out.

      1. Kernanator

        Yeah, I know what that’s like, too. Soon after I got to college, I was going around asking my classmates, “How do you study?”

      2. Tagg

        Story of my college life.

  54. Ciaran Lovejoy

    The Hovertext says Talk Dark Stranger? Shouldn’t it be tall?

  55. Ray

    There’s the Joyce that old fans know and love and some of us have only just recently read about.

    Considering how sheltered and naive she is generally, the jealous rages and psychotic stalking (both here and in the old Roomies) seems a little odd, but I suppose those two personality quirks aren’t really mutually exclusive. Keeps things exciting, anyway.

    Meanwhile Walky keeps things stupid, but lots of people other than myself love that kind of humor, so I shouldn’t criticize. Much.

  56. Jim

    I wanna spoof the Cheers song for Galasso’s now.

    Makin’ yer way through four years of college
    Takes everything ya got
    Takin’ a break from all your studies sure would help a lot

    Wouldn’t ya like to an easy grade?

    Sometimes you wanna go

    Where it’s okay if you’re gay
    And there’s pizza during the day
    You wanna be where you can see
    the drama come out and play
    You wanna be where it’s okay if you’re gay

    You wanna go where people know
    People are all the same
    You wanna go where it’s okay if you’re gay

    1. Jim

      Danny-me, Y U NO proofread?

      1. TPman

        I ask Richard Garfield me the same thing all the time.

        1. Jim

          if we’re semi us does that mean our high fives hit like a mack truck?

  57. Aeyt

    I wish she had blurted out GAY! it would have been spectacularly hilarious.

  58. Jay

    While I may have technically specified Canadians in the challenge, does anyone have any designs they’d like to submit anyways?
    http://goo.gl/5oVok

  59. newllend

    BURN!

  60. Chris

    Oh God, I think Roomies Joyce is starting to take over.

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