120

Fully armed
Posted on July 3, 2019 by David M Willis

120 thoughts on “Fully armed”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    Carla’s gonna make (it ab)out (herself)?

    1. anonamousethatscurriesinthedarkness

      My decaffeinated low sugar pudding engine generates the next strip from a divergent timeline.
      1) Carla prevents either from quickly escaping with a waist hug
      2) plants one on Marcie to get a reaction from Sal
      3) Sal reacts. Marcie looks speculative. Carla is grinning.
      4) Carla plants one on Sal ala full leg sweep over the knee style.
      5) Blank filler quarter panel
      6) Marcie signs [she is good] Sal [dang] Carla [again?]

  2. BBCC

    Oooh, now Carla’s involved!

    This story gets funnier by the minute. I fucking love it.

  3. Doctor_Who

    It’s Carla’s age, they just dumb in it.

    1. davidbreslin101

      The movie theatre in my brain is now showing a mashup called: “Avengers: Age of Carla.”

      1. Suitora

        Carla would have this huge culmination for the heroes to agonize about, and the Avengers would try to stop her from going about her supposed evil plan, but then she would just light up a huge cluster of lights in space that everyone could see, saying “TRANS RIGHTS”.

      2. JustcallmeSoul

        C’mon. It was right there in front of you. “Avengers: Age of Ultra-car”

  4. Jamie

    Sooooo….. Malaya is going to try to seduce Carla, isn’t she?

    1. Agemegos

      That might see the limits of Carla’s desire to let things be about her.

      1. thejeff

        Carla did have that weird “abuse me, Malaya” phase.

    2. Coru

      Well, we were told that no original Walkyverse ‘ships will carry over, and Malaya/Ultracar were romantically involved, in as much as Malaya is capable of romance.

      1. thejeff

        OTOH, Ruth/Billie.

        I think it was more that they wouldn’t by default and wouldn’t unless he had something different he wanted to do with them.

  5. TrueVCU

    Carla
    Gender: Trans-woman
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Quirk: Black Hole

    1. Doctor_Who

      Class: Mechromancer
      Age: Dumbing
      Dislikes: Yes
      Patronus: Ultra Car

      1. EvilMidnightLurker

        Is she specced Anarchy?

        1. pjeseb

          Every Mechromancer is specced into Anarchy. You can’t make a viable build without it.

        2. Doctor_Who

          Anarchy, an Infinity, and Close Enough = funtimes.

          It’s like the Borderlands equivalent to Yondu unleashing his arrow.

        3. Kamino Neko

          I used Anarchy for all of 5 minutes, before respeccing to focus on Deathtrap.

          Gaige was the only character I used until I started Maya to do the new DLC.

    2. Schol-R-LEA

      Hey, I’ve already put Carla in Poe Cottage (in one of my “Dumbing to Whateley” micro-fanfics). And yes, I had her as a Shifter who could turn into a car.

  6. ValdVin

    “I think you vastly underestimate my ability to make things be about me.”

    I am decades older than Carla and I have come nowhere as close as she has to nailing my joke epitath.

    1. Solenoid

      So you’re saying she made it about her?

      1. Jamie

        You get an internet.

  7. ian livs

    Gonna steal that line next time my parents talk shit at me. It’s just too good.

  8. Tarkara

    Look at Marcie’s eyes.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Fun fact: she’s wearing regular glasses and just happens to be a Terminator.

  9. CMasta

    Marcie catching feelings…

    1. Rycan

      This’ll end well.

  10. Kyrik Michalowski

    Sal, just do what you did for the other ones. Tell Malaya you want to fuck Marcie and watch her go to town.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Jeez I hope there are limits to that power.

      Sal: “Hey Malaya, that dumpster full of broken glass and porcupines is kinda hot.”

      Malaya: “Oh yeah?! CANNONBALL!”

    2. Keulen

      Yeah, that method seems like it’d be more effective on Malaya.

  11. Delicious Taffy

    What if they have to smooch? Wouldn’t that be weird for them?

    1. Bagge

      I can’t imagine this situation ever becoming weird…

    2. BarerMender

      It might be weird for Sal. I think Marcie will love it.

      1. Nono

        Why would Marcie love it? Just because she’s attracted to women? Doesn’t mean she’s attracted to Sal.

        1. Shen Hibiki

          In this comic? I think every character is a bit into Sal.
          Well, except her bro.
          I think.

        2. Falcon

          Because Marcie is attracted to Sal. Like, right now.

        3. BarerMender

          Because Marcie’s been in love with Sal for a thousand years?

        4. Jade

          And she’ll love her for a thousand more~

          … in this situation, is Marcie the sparkly vampire?

        5. BarerMender

          Marcie’s an immortal, but it’s a secret. Sal doesn’t know.

  12. Stephen Bierce

    The Endor Justifies The Means?

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      Ewok away, Stephen Bierce.

      Ewok. Away.

      1. Screwball

        Are we starting another pun chain here? Cause usually they just keep getting Wars & Wars…

        1. Marsh Maryrose

          And there can be Leias upon Leias of responses.

        2. Keulen

          This pun chain is a Force to be reckoned with.

        3. FacelessDeviant

          This Obi-Wan cannot be.

        4. Shen Hibiki

          This pun chains R2-silly…

        5. davidbreslin101

          All this jibber-Jabba’s doin’ my head in.

        6. Schpoonman

          I hate all of you.

        7. Screwball

          The Dark Side is strong with Schpoonman…

        8. Chris Phoenix

          And to think, it all started with an Endor’s game…

    2. Deanatay

      That Carla is no moon!

  13. ValdVin

    “Carla! Where’d you come from?”

    “I’ve been taking teleportation lessons from Joyce.”

    1. Bicycle Bill

      “I’ve been taking apparation lessons from Dina.”

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Prey she never learns the triangular smile.

        1. Shen Hibiki

          No, you don’t want to be her prey!

        2. Deanatay

          What do you mean? Dina has already mastered it!

  14. Josh Spicer

    Carla, I love you, but please leave.

  15. Lars nelson

    What if Malaya’s plan all along has been to do what Sal is doing right now? Take away everything Sal has so only Marcie remains? Make Sal get with Marcie just to spite Malaya but then be something more?

    1. Delicious Taffy

      That would be really fucked up.

    2. DailyBrad

      That’d be disturbing. I don’t get what her motivation would be.

    3. Marsh Maryrose

      That would require Malaya to have at least enough empathy to understand what matters to Sal. And any scenario that requires Malaya to have even a shred of empathy would run pretty much contrary to everything we know about Malaya.

      1. thejeff

        Yeah, it’s pretty clear from every past interaction that Malaya’s read of Sal is completely wrong in pretty much every way.

    4. Shane Wegner

      Too complex, too vindictive, too obsessed. “Take away everything someone has due to minor annoyance” isn’t something Malaya could reasonably do nor would care enough to do. My take: She likes to spread her brand of truth to those who happen to be around, but she would see going out of her way to obsess about someone clingy and lap-dog like.

      1. thejeff

        This I’m not so sure of. Malaya’s been shown to be pretty obsessed with outdoing Sal. That’s what Sal’s whole plan is based on.
        I don’t completely buy it, but I wouldn’t be wholly surprised if her friendship with Marcie was at least initially based on taking her away from Sal.

  16. Mal

    I love Carla. I love Carla. I can enjoy a character who acts like an asshole, knows their an asshole, cheerfully owns the fact that they’re an asshole, but who isn’t actually a bad person. Like, Carla is a force of chaos, but isn’t as gleefully, or maliciously, destructive as Mike can be.

  17. Piotr W

    I love Carla :))

  18. DailyBrad

    I love Carla, and I love that Carla loves Carla.

  19. TemporalShrew

    Yes, good, more Carla, less Malaya. Carla is too ridiculous to get on my nerves no matter how intrusive she is.

    Also, Marcie’s feeling some kind of way about this hand-holding, and I’m not sure what that way is.

    1. Needfuldoer

      I read panel 2 Marcie as “you can let go now”, and panel 4 as “seriously, let go”.

      In the last panel, either Marcie’s second-guessing the plan because there might be something more to their relationship that neither of them has acknowledged yet, or Sal was subconsciously squeezing harder as she got frustrated and it hurt a little.

    2. John Smith

      I’m still thinking this is going to be a cover of that old hit song “crush on your best friend.” We’ve had performances from Becky and Amber so far, after all.

    3. Solenoid

      You mean something more than “Could you let go of my hand so I can say something?”

      Marcie can’t speak, her hands are her mouth.

  20. LightPunster

    Calling it now: this was Marcie’s plan all along, but…TWIST! Marcie was pretending to be into Maylaya because she thought it would make Sal jealous.

    1. ShinyNeen

      The more time passes, the more I’m inclined to believe that. It’d be a heckuva convoluted long-con, but it’s not impossible! And, bonus, it’d be a hilarious reveal!

  21. Kyoulkoa

    DoA Book9:I think you vastly underestimate my ability to make things be about me

    1. Meagan

      We’ve had a Carla quote as a title before, so I’d like something from a different character. On the other hand, having two book titles be her quotes would fit the exact sentence.

      This inspired me to go take an assessment of who said what titles. It may require more archive digging than I can handle. Partial list:

      Book 1: ???
      Book 2: Joyce
      3: Ruth
      4: Who said this? Was it Amazi-Girl about herself?
      5: Becky
      6: Carla
      7: Joe
      8: Amber – hey, does this count as Amber getting two? Sort of? she was less fragmented back when she said that for book 4, if it was her.

      We are due a book title by Sal or Danny or Dina or …

      1. BBCC

        Book one is Walky and Book 4 was indeed AG.

        And the narrative has tagged AG and Amber separately from the start. I think it counts as two characters. Regardless, they were more fragmented by book 8 when Amber said it, so I’d say that still counts.

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        Pretty sure Book 1 was Walky.

  22. GutterChick

    Man I hope this ends with Marcie and Sal together that’s all I’ve ever wanted

  23. Dean

    Last panel Marcie is considering whether faking a Billie-Marcie-Carla love triangle would be too much shenanigans.

  24. tim gueguen

    Carla Wars Episode IV: A New Hopelessness.

  25. abysswatcher1993

    Marcie just realized she held hands with Sal. This is going in a way Sal didn’t expect.

    1. BenRG

      Yeah, it strikes me that she’s pondering on whether it’s a good thing that she’s now got her hand back.

  26. Meagan

    Not that Marcie doesn’t adapt beautifully to being mute, and not that this has anything to do with this strip really, but can I just donate the money for her surgery already, if she still wants her voice back and it is still possible? Can we have a fundraiser?

    I randomly got a touch in the feels about the unjustness of her being hung out to dry in the way she was. Especially when Sal tried so hard to get the money together.

    I think I got these feels because their handholding reminded me of the long and complicated nature of their friendship.

    1. Sunfish

      Articulate, just, long-range, empathetic post. Avatar checks out.

  27. Bagge

    what an utterly unpredictable turn of events.

  28. BenRG

    I should’ve guessed that Carla is a Warsie!

    The worrying implication (at least for Marcie’s desires) is that Malaya is only interested in things that are about Malaya and in bullying people. So long as Marcie isn’t too obviously making Sal happy, then Malaya has no interest in her.

  29. DarkoNeko

    Marcie may have new questions to ponder about

  30. NF

    Carla’s alignment is Chaotic Jerk.

    1. BenRG

      As Willis puts it on the cast page, her message to the universe appears to be: “Pay attention to meee!!!”

      1. Eldritch Gentleman

        Carla should go become a youtube celebrity. She’d get all the attention she’d want.

  31. NinjaNick

    Buzz off, Carla. 😛

  32. SpaceshipPilot

    Is “Armed and operational battle station” a euphemism? It feels like a euphemism in this context.

    1. Chexwarrior

      Star wars reference, in Return of the Jedi the Emperor tricked the rebels into thinking that Death Star the second was incomplete, however he made sure the superlaser was ready to pop their capital ships when they showed up to attack. Emperor was taunting Luke because his friends were about to get wrecked “Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station. Fire at will, commander.”

      1. SpaceshipPilot

        I know what it’s a reference to. Just wondered if it had another meaning. 😛

    2. Deanatay

      FULLY!

    3. Bathymetheus

      My take is that Carla has grasped that Sal and Marcie are attempting some sort of con/shenanigans. And since they were looking at Malaya while discussing it, she may reasonably infer that Malaya is their intended mark.

      Whether she understands the natue of the con is less clear. Carla has little interest in sex, but can hardly be unaware that most people are obsessed with it. So she might infer that one or both of them intend some sort of sexual ploy involving Malaya.

      Her reference to her power suggests she intends to show them that she can do what they have been unable to. However, since we have no idea what she thinks they want to accomplish, her intervention is likely to be hilariously off-base.

      1. Bathymetheus

        Italics were supposed to inlude “might” only.

  33. BarerMender

    I went back and read all the Marcie strips. At no point do we see Marcie’s eyes. She’s wearing goggles, wearing white-out glasses, or has her eyes closed. We never get to look into her eyes.

    1. C.T Phipps

      If we did, we’d know she was undead.

      1. BarerMender

        Aw, crap. You’re right. Now how am I going to get to sleep?

        1. Tan

          Just close your eyes and listen to the creaking of the skeleton trapped inside you trying to get out.

      2. Delicious Taffy

        If Marcie was undead, I would have made a Grav of her already.

    2. Seregiel

      Marcy is Sin City’s Kevin, except instead of eating hookers she just wants to eat out Malaya.

  34. Catman

    That last comment makes it sound like she’s already put two and two together and is about to do some shenanigans to make their plan work in a way that has her as the central focus.
    Go Carla. Do the thing.

    1. He Who Abides

      Next page: doing the thing.

  35. BenRG

    Sort of a ‘P.S.’ thought: Sal, Malaya does know that you and Marcie have been best friends since forever. It is quite possible that the two of you holding hands doesn’t seem so remarkable to her!

  36. Catman

    If her sexuality is the same as in Shortpacked, which Willis has said is true for most characters, Carla isn’t really into sexytimes. The ‘adventure’ would probably be Joe trying to flirt with Carla eating up the attention but not going anywhere with it.

    1. Alan in DC

      True dat, but just like the NSFW Dorothy-Joyce ‘April Fool’ makeout artwork, a step outside the reality of the moment can be exhilarating, surprising and very entertaining, while keeping both actors in character.

      Say, a bunch of cleverly-engineered servos suddenly spring to life out of nowhere which restrain and go to town all over Joe, initiated by a single button-push from an uninterested (and frankly nauseated) Carla. Watching from five feet away, Carla thumbs a remote rheostat that controls speed intensity and, most likely the level of discomfort, asking one last time, “You SURE you want to ride this train, Joe?”

      As Amber might offer, “You ought to read the fanfic I’m writing in my head right now.”

  37. TemperaryObsessor

    In all fairness holding hands is not inherently romantic. Besides Malays has shown that she is willing to take Sal’s declaration of interest at face value, even though they came off as half hearted. Maybe tell don’t show. Like say out loud Marcy I am sexually attracted to you so it hurts me when you look at Malaya that way.

  38. ShinyNeen

    Look, it’s working! Carla is totally showing interest in Sal now- … err, no, wait, that’s buisness as usual.

    1. BBCC

      I can hear Cerberus squeeing right now.

      1. ShinyNeen

        Carla is just adorable around Sal. Cerberus has good taste!

  39. hof1991

    Love that Marcie’s “eyes” look at Sal, then at their hands together, then at Carla, then back to the hands and finally to her now empty hand. For someone whose eyes you can’t see, that was very expressive.

  40. wakeangel2001

    this can work, I bet Carla could much more convincingly play at the “I’m interested in sexy times with this girl” ploy than anyone.

    1. DarkoNeko

      too bad she’s more interested in Sal than in Marcie

    2. Cmd1095

      Well bear in mind a core part of the plan is Malaya’s hatred of Sal being what drives her to do the sexy times with Marcie, Carla wouldn’t have the same affect

    3. HeatherJean

      Carla also has a history of trying to manage courtships of cute queer ladies….
      I suppose Malaya could be considered “cute” for a certain value of cute.

      If Carla starts fawning over Sal again and Malaya picks up on THAT rather than the handholding, things could get complicated for all involved. And even those not involved.

  41. Agemegos

    Malaya is going to pop a valve when Asher shows up all romantic hero, and is all about his history with Sal.

  42. Falcon

    Alright Sal. Maybe you’re ultimately straight. But if there’s ever a time to experiment, it’s in college.

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      We all know that the heart wants what the heart wants. What I’ve see of life suggests to me that it is also true that the genitals want what the genitals want; and, like the heart, the genitals also know what they don’t want, no matter the rational arguments for why they should want that thing that they don’t want.

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