This is such a nice answer from Leslie and it makes me glad that Becky came back to have this talk with her. It was overdue and something they both needed. Now we just have two questions, where do we go from here? And where the hell is Mike?
I'm glad Becky has some good people (and one awesome Dino-girl) in her corner. For all she projects confidence, she really does need them (and not just because of Toedad).
No one except Joyce – Becky’s only rock in a world turned on her – could have assured her that yes, Joyce was exactly the rock Becky counted on her to be when she fled to her.
No one except Hank* – who knew Bonnie and who has gone out of his way to be an adult Becky can trust – could have assured her that what Becky has become is something her mother would be proud of.
*) Well, any adult in church COULD have done it, but only Hank DID.
and no one except Leslie – the one adult who sees through all her bullshit, knows firsthand what she is going through and who has offered to help her – can tell her the one thing a homeless lgbt youngster very, very much needs to hear – that the support she gives isn’t conditional.
I also think it’s worth linking back to the danged extent of Becky’s allowed aspirations. I kinda think Leslie touched a nerve here about the price of parental pride for some parents.
Oh, absolutely. There was a reason why the last thing Becky said to Toedad before walking out of that hospital room was ‘I’m gonna be a fuckin’ scientist.’ In a strip titled ‘Unlimited’ solely to bring home the Defying Gravity point.
And also good parental pride, when Hank saw Joyce defying him and Carol for what Joyce believes is right and using a good Christian argument about accepting others. There’s pride in your family showing they can be smarter and kinder than you.
I’m proud of my children but also think it’s an honour and privilege to watch their personalities and imaginations develop and unfold and see who they become. (Obviously with guidance but this is most frequently “don’t hit/torment your sister”, “remember gentle hands – be gentle”, “what do we say when we’re asking for something?/I think you’ve missed a word there”… The 5 year old is a complete sweetheart 95% of the time, and the 2 year old – when she’s well-rested and not having a tantrum or drawing on the walls – genuinely wants to be helpful and is a darling.
Who they will love, what will drive them as adults, what they will do with their lives? I’m a cheerleader in all that jazz. So long as they’re kind and strive to be the best version of themselves that they can be, I will have done my job and set them on the right path.
You monster! Don’t you know that a parents primary job is to totally ruin their child’s life forever in the most humiliating way possible? Ask any teenager.
It’s cool, recent pics I have taken for future reference include “toddler in ice cream coma” and “5 year old being ridiculous an trying to drink her milk by licking it like a cat”… Which OK is something I did as a teen on a few occasions to prove a point *but there is no photographic evidence* so she doesn’t need to know that ?
Blaine being proud of his daughter for defeating an attempted rapist and would-be murderer is the least-toxic thing he’d have ever done. Granted, it would have been for the wrong reasons, but still.
I don’t know about too scared. Likely in a similar, but worse, position as Joyce. Didn’t know who he was, were drugged and not entirely clear how it had happened. Without an ID and corroboration from others, no real case.
Several did apparently come forward after the attack.
I would have said “I am proud”, but this acceptable. This is a comic by Willis, and simple answers aren’t enough for these already DUMB teens and adults. I am the kind of person that would be proud if a loved one defeated me in honorable combat.
When it comes to questions like this, I don’t think the honest truth is ever a dodge. I think anything else would be a dodge. These are the very questions where the truth is paramount, and sacred, and it’s what everybody involved needs to hear. I dunno, maybe I’m being a bit high-minded about it. But, I’ll always personally take the unsatisfying answer that’s the truest representation of the other persons’ feelings than anything approaching placation. With the deep things like that, it’s important to know as exactly as possible where everybody stands.
Shit, I get that.
Don’t recall my mom telling me she was proud. Might’ve happened and just don’t recall. My dad was only ever proud when I was doing something he wanted me doing, so it was always when I was the most miserable.
Leslie may make many bad decisions, but she sure makes the right moves when it really matters. I love how she first reassures Becky that she doesn’t want to play mom to her before stating her unconditional support. This way, Becky can know that Leslie is not projecting her past family frustrations on her and is seeing her for what she really is. It’s amazing how so much nuance can be packed in just one strip. Great job, Mr. Willis!
I agree with Becky and many in here. Yes or no is vastly overrated. After all the real answer are rarely that cut & dry. They are never as simple as we want or as complicated as we try to make them.
Waiting for the moment that Mike crashes through the roof into Leslie’s room from his fall; same way Jodie Whitaker’s ’13th Doctor’ plummeted from space and landing unharmed inside a moving train.
In this strip, I think Leslie shows us that being a good parent can be less about your “Parenting Skills” and more about who you are. All the regular characters in the strip seem like people I’d want to have for friends. Well, except the Villians.
It makes me happy seeing how far you’ve come and how much you accomplished. It was an honor being part of it.
This project I’ve been working on is coming along nicely. I’m proud of how well I shaped you.
They clearly had very particular expectations for you, given what they named you. I understand having mixed feelings about them being proud you actually turned out to be a Leslie Bean.
THIS is a perfect portrait of how it feels to be asked by a younger queer person to be something you never had. You are aware of what expectations do, you’re aware of how badly a person you admire or love can hurt you, you’re aware of how much it hurts to realize what you thought was a rock is a island that may not be there when you come back, but you STILL want to see them flourish, and you want to believe you can be the person they need you to be.
BEST NON-BINARY ANSWER
MSPA Reader: “What are you? Some kind of centrist?!”
MSPA?
MS Paint Adventures.
A classic.
Non-binary answers are the best answers.
Maybe.
And Leslie earns another 50 mom points.
Awwwww ♥️
Agreed.
Man, remember the Proud Family? That sure was a cartoon I watched.
I loved the Proud Family.
Hahaha that fucking hurt way more than I thought it would hahaha
Leslie is such a good Becky-Mom.
Beckie is such a good Leslie-Daughter !
Indeed she is.
Its a shame that more Beckys aren’t lucky enough to find a mom like Leslie.
Absolutely.
YESSSS A HUG
Called it!
mah hart
mah sole
you’ll be mah friend should ah grow old
This is good.
This is such a nice answer from Leslie and it makes me glad that Becky came back to have this talk with her. It was overdue and something they both needed. Now we just have two questions, where do we go from here? And where the hell is Mike?
who is Mike ?
He is an asshole we occasionally care about.
When is Mike?
Never and always.
Why is Mike?
To be the asshole you do not want. But the asshole you need right now.
How is Mike?
Nature abhores a lack of Mikeness.
The asshole he thinks you need, and the last few days in-comic have been greatly cathartic to me in proving how often he is wrong.
I’ll do you one better: why is Mike?
This thread reads a bit like ‘forky asks a question’.
The Once and Future Mike.
Fucking Blaine’s Mom. :thumbup:
He’ll come back when he’s out of nickels. 😉
Gosh, I adore this exchange
This is a MUCH more positive resolution than I’d feared, and I’m much happier for it
This is so healthy and wholesome! It makes me happy. Clearly that means that something terrible is about to happen.
nooooo
Willis still hasn’t revealed what happened to Mike yet.
*Descending whistle* *Splat*
Actually, let’s let Mike himself answer this one.
pretty sure he’s a missionary in Bulmeria by now.
Coming from an Asian culture, where family expectations can be so much higher, what Leslie said hits home really hard.
sympathy via light physical contact
Trust me, alt, I wanted it also, then we can just kill anything positive softly, but I guess it is all for more to not hold back
FINALLY, HUG!!!
“My support of you isn’t conditional” might be the third best thing anyone ever said to Becky in this comic. Leslie is momming just right.
Only third best thing?
Well, yeah!
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/pit/
Yeah.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/04-it-all-returns/deserves/
<3
I'm glad Becky has some good people (and one awesome Dino-girl) in her corner. For all she projects confidence, she really does need them (and not just because of Toedad).
Jesus, the feels on those two….especially the last one. Oof.
I know.
I even knew what comics Bagge was linking, and yet, when I clicked on them, those strips were hitting me in feels I didn’t even know I had.
It’s so lovely and, like the other two comments, something only Leslie as the speaker could say and give the same impact.
I’m so proud of them.
Yes. Very much.
No one except Joyce – Becky’s only rock in a world turned on her – could have assured her that yes, Joyce was exactly the rock Becky counted on her to be when she fled to her.
No one except Hank* – who knew Bonnie and who has gone out of his way to be an adult Becky can trust – could have assured her that what Becky has become is something her mother would be proud of.
*) Well, any adult in church COULD have done it, but only Hank DID.
and no one except Leslie – the one adult who sees through all her bullshit, knows firsthand what she is going through and who has offered to help her – can tell her the one thing a homeless lgbt youngster very, very much needs to hear – that the support she gives isn’t conditional.
No wonder it turned to hugging.
ah, yes, I knew there was a conversation about conditional support somwhere. Becky has learnt it doesn’t pay to trust adults.
…except perhaps this one.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-9-comic/04-vote-for-robin/wakeywakey/
I also think it’s worth linking back to the danged extent of Becky’s allowed aspirations. I kinda think Leslie touched a nerve here about the price of parental pride for some parents.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/aspirations/
Oh, absolutely. There was a reason why the last thing Becky said to Toedad before walking out of that hospital room was ‘I’m gonna be a fuckin’ scientist.’ In a strip titled ‘Unlimited’ solely to bring home the Defying Gravity point.
We’ve met toxic parental pride before in Dumbing of Age: after Amber stabbed Ryan, she imagined Blaine being proud of her.
And also good parental pride, when Hank saw Joyce defying him and Carol for what Joyce believes is right and using a good Christian argument about accepting others. There’s pride in your family showing they can be smarter and kinder than you.
I’m proud of my children but also think it’s an honour and privilege to watch their personalities and imaginations develop and unfold and see who they become. (Obviously with guidance but this is most frequently “don’t hit/torment your sister”, “remember gentle hands – be gentle”, “what do we say when we’re asking for something?/I think you’ve missed a word there”… The 5 year old is a complete sweetheart 95% of the time, and the 2 year old – when she’s well-rested and not having a tantrum or drawing on the walls – genuinely wants to be helpful and is a darling.
Who they will love, what will drive them as adults, what they will do with their lives? I’m a cheerleader in all that jazz. So long as they’re kind and strive to be the best version of themselves that they can be, I will have done my job and set them on the right path.
You monster! Don’t you know that a parents primary job is to totally ruin their child’s life forever in the most humiliating way possible? Ask any teenager.
It’s cool, recent pics I have taken for future reference include “toddler in ice cream coma” and “5 year old being ridiculous an trying to drink her milk by licking it like a cat”… Which OK is something I did as a teen on a few occasions to prove a point *but there is no photographic evidence* so she doesn’t need to know that ?
Blaine being proud of his daughter for defeating an attempted rapist and would-be murderer is the least-toxic thing he’d have ever done. Granted, it would have been for the wrong reasons, but still.
Attempted? Ryan Gashface apparnetly raped other women, but they were too scared to testify against him.
I don’t know about too scared. Likely in a similar, but worse, position as Joyce. Didn’t know who he was, were drugged and not entirely clear how it had happened. Without an ID and corroboration from others, no real case.
Several did apparently come forward after the attack.
Speaking of wounded and not yet healed…
I love this answer, too. I love it a lot.
I would have said “I am proud”, but this acceptable. This is a comic by Willis, and simple answers aren’t enough for these already DUMB teens and adults. I am the kind of person that would be proud if a loved one defeated me in honorable combat.
With that said, let’s remember the ending of Captain Marvel. You don’t have to prove anything to a jerk.
Oh cool, I got the reference. Katie; 1 References; a gazillion.
All this talk of wounding… *stares in Mike Warner*
Good answer
Thanks, Leslie.
Best DoA page ever?
She STILL dodged your question, Becky. 😛 But, I will agree that it is probably the best answer she could have given. 🙂
When it comes to questions like this, I don’t think the honest truth is ever a dodge. I think anything else would be a dodge. These are the very questions where the truth is paramount, and sacred, and it’s what everybody involved needs to hear. I dunno, maybe I’m being a bit high-minded about it. But, I’ll always personally take the unsatisfying answer that’s the truest representation of the other persons’ feelings than anything approaching placation. With the deep things like that, it’s important to know as exactly as possible where everybody stands.
Shit, I get that.
Don’t recall my mom telling me she was proud. Might’ve happened and just don’t recall. My dad was only ever proud when I was doing something he wanted me doing, so it was always when I was the most miserable.
That is a really good answer.
Leslie may make many bad decisions, but she sure makes the right moves when it really matters. I love how she first reassures Becky that she doesn’t want to play mom to her before stating her unconditional support. This way, Becky can know that Leslie is not projecting her past family frustrations on her and is seeing her for what she really is. It’s amazing how so much nuance can be packed in just one strip. Great job, Mr. Willis!
I’m not crying, you’re crying
I agree with Becky and many in here. Yes or no is vastly overrated. After all the real answer are rarely that cut & dry. They are never as simple as we want or as complicated as we try to make them.
This is definitely one of my favorite and most poignant strips thus far from Dumbing of Age.
Waiting for the moment that Mike crashes through the roof into Leslie’s room from his fall; same way Jodie Whitaker’s ’13th Doctor’ plummeted from space and landing unharmed inside a moving train.
Yeah, I am assuming that we won’t see Mike until tonight when Amazigirl visits the hospital or wherever Mike’s decaying body is.
Willis, you onion chopping jerk/sweetheart of a man.
Yup. Morning cry: check.
Awwwww♡ Really a good, sweet answer.
In this strip, I think Leslie shows us that being a good parent can be less about your “Parenting Skills” and more about who you are. All the regular characters in the strip seem like people I’d want to have for friends. Well, except the Villians.
Can this arc be put into books on parenting? And sent back in time to when I was just starting to raise my kids?
Please?
It makes me happy seeing how far you’ve come and how much you accomplished. It was an honor being part of it.
This project I’ve been working on is coming along nicely. I’m proud of how well I shaped you.
I like Leslie. She’s a good bean.
Sweeties
I kinda want to buy a print of this strip, is it just me?
This strip is very touching. I know I’m pretty much saying what other people have already said but I wanted to put my 2 cents in.
Damn I relate hard to Leslie here.
When I started reading DoA I was Becky’s age. Now I’m Leslie’s age
Nicely handled Leslie, very well done.
They clearly had very particular expectations for you, given what they named you. I understand having mixed feelings about them being proud you actually turned out to be a Leslie Bean.
O M G
THIS is a perfect portrait of how it feels to be asked by a younger queer person to be something you never had. You are aware of what expectations do, you’re aware of how badly a person you admire or love can hurt you, you’re aware of how much it hurts to realize what you thought was a rock is a island that may not be there when you come back, but you STILL want to see them flourish, and you want to believe you can be the person they need you to be.
Thanks so much for this.