229

Gimme
Posted on March 28, 2015 by David M Willis

229 thoughts on “Gimme”

  1. Ellie

    Damnit Mike.

    1. Ellie

      I mean, everyone knows you use sepia tones to make it classy.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        That or Vaseline on the lens.

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Homemade colonoscopies: super classy

        2. sps48

          Vaseline is not good for the lens. You lube the transparent filter.
          But when did “Penthouse” equal “classy”?

        3. Church

          i find that lotion is always better than vaseline

      2. Rowen Morland

        Black and white is to make it real.

      3. TachyonCode

        Ugh, please no. 90% desaturation filter for the win. With some distracting colors dropped out, preferably.

  2. Jupiterror

    dammit, mike

  3. TheTJ

    Let him keep that camera, after that he moves to film.

    1. Yet_One_More_Idiot

      And then he might pull out a canvas and oils just start painting a portrait of them.

      “Take a picture, it’ll last longer”
      “Paint a picture, it’ll take longer” 😛

  4. Doctor_Who

    She takes the camera, removes the film, looks up, and sees Mike halfway through an oil painting. By the time she’s done ripping up that, he’s already captured a very good likeness of her with a chisel and a block of marble. It’s truly breathtaking.

    1. Screwball

      Working at the speed of Trolls…

      1. Bill

        Are you mixing that up with imps, the secret of the iconograph on the Discworld?

        1. Screwball

          No, I’m thinking he can be more than a bit like a real-life internet troll…

        2. Rowen Morland

          In the Split Infinity Series of books Trolls had the power to mould stone as if it were wet clay.

    2. Emily

      Yesssss. This comment wins.

    3. dethtoll

      And then when he’s all done he puts it in a beautiful frame.

  5. Stephen Bierce

    “What’s in it?” “That would ruin the ‘surprise’.”

    1. Bill

      Mr. Kidd, ‘Diamonds are Forever’, right?

      1. fogel

        Bet a lot of the commenters would like to see Mike share Mr Wint’s fate.

  6. Nono

    If Mike’s majoring in some kind of photography or media course, that’s…

    Huh. No idea how to feel about that.

    1. Seerow

      I actually like to think he is planning to go into public relations, specifically for politics.

      He’s the guy you hire when you want to smear your opponent so hard their name becomes a curse word for the new generation.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        The next Karl Rove?

        1. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          The next Gordon Brown. Or John Prescott. Or Peter Mandelson. 😛

        2. JustCheetoDust

          They can’t rap.

      2. Questionor

        He must have an interest. He obviously knows enough about politics to actually know the term “October Surprise”. How many college freshmen would know that?

        1. marr

          How many graduates of a nonpolitical or journalistic stripe even know that?

        2. Questionor

          exactly

      3. Chupabarbara

        You mean Santorum?

    2. B.D

      Journalism major.

      1. Deanatay

        I still say psychology.

        1. Cybersnark

          He’d be like Dr. House, but specializing in behavioural psych.

          He’ll solve your problems, but you won’t enjoy the process.

    3. David H.

      Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more!

  7. Nena

    Mike needs his ass kicked to his shoulder blades. I hope there is a scene where he gets beaten up.

    1. Doctor_Who

      There’s one in It’s Walky…but the context kinda ruins the catharsis.

      1. fogel

        There’s at least two… I think the ‘other one’ is when he’s walking with Jason and does a provocation on a March for nonviolence….

        1. Bantha

          There’s also the time the Martians get a hold of him … … … That was really bad.

        2. OctopusGardener

          And that time with the crossover (the non-Melonpool one), and that time Walky snapped and pounded him into paste

        3. John

          And in Shortpacked! when he provoked Amber into punching him. And even here in DoA when he defeated Amazi-Girl’s interrogation techniques by being way too into it.

          When you wrestle with a pig, you both get muddy, but the pig enjoys it.

    2. insomniac

      If you assault Mike, his only response is smug satisfaction at drawing you down to his level.

      1. Screwball

        Or he enjoys it way too much… O.O

      2. fogel

        In the one with the nonviolence marchers it’s smug satisfaction at revealing their earnest lack of self awareness, if not actual hypocrisy.

    3. B.D

      It wouldn’t prove that he’s wrong.

      1. Andrusi

        The concept of “proving that he’s wrong” is completely irrelevant not only to the discussion at hand but to the situation itself. He hasn’t actually said anything to be wrong about. He’s just making implied threats and being creepy.

        I mean, if you feel a burning need to Draco-in-leather-pants him into a wise mentor who disguises his valuable life lessons as sociopathic assholery, that’s fine, but even then he’s not actually SAYING whatever blood you squeezed out of this stone yesterday, he’s just making implied threats and being creepy.

    4. SmartAlec105

      But Mike is a good guy! Notice that every time he does something mean to one of the characters, it actually makes things turn out better. He knows what he’s doing.

      1. Nono

        Doesn’t mean that people have to like his brand of ‘help’. Good intentions and results might not mean a thing to people if your delivery is terrible.

        The idea that Mike is some wizard manipulator with a keen psychological insight into everybody’s motives doesn’t work well in a series full of real, failable characters.

        1. Clif

          He’s young yet. This is a dumber Mike.

        2. fogel

          We’ll, on the one hand, he does have more insight and clearer than the Dumby-versers he’s interacting with. On the other hand, I don’t know what his motivation is, whether he “means well or not”.

    5. Emily

      Yeah, it usually isn’t satisfying when he gets beaten up. Because he doesn’t usually fight back, and just takes it. The whole thing makes you feel uncomfortable because we’d rather he fight back and make it even, but he just left people bash his face in and we start to feel bad for him as he seems so pathetic.

      1. fogel

        Unsatisfying, but it’s not because he’s pounded, he doesn’t mind that, and not because he won’t defend himself–which he could do very capably if he chose to. But he CHOOSES not to. He tests people by provoking them to physically assault him. So I don’t feel director Mike.

        1. fogel

          Don’t feel sorry for Mike. ( is there a name for Spellchecker frustrating the neck out of you?)

  8. Catullus

    Wait, but it’s not October yet…

    1. Questionor

      It’s a politics reference.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/October_surprise

      1. Catullus

        Whoops, that one flew over my head.

      2. Screwball

        Interesting. that term doesn’t seem to exist Down Under. You learn something everyday…

        ..Like it seems Mike may have been in Scouts, he was certainly prepared with a 2nd camera at the ready. That said, Daniel the Human carries a actual digital camera in his pocket for picture opportunities…

        1. Deanatay

          Your elections probably occur at a different time of year.

      3. Kaoy

        Gonna be honest and say I didn’t get it either. My first thought was “Woah, did we time skip to January?”

    2. Bill

      Truthfully, I think it is.  There was a time-line somewhere (can’t find it now) that shows we’ve been through about six weeks, I believe, so that would put the strip into mid-October.

      1. John

        Nope. It’s Saturday morning, the last day of Week Four, so late Septemberish.

        Incidentally, today is the day when Walky predicted Joyce will admit she wants to go down on Dorothy.

        1. DarkoNeko

          it’s not there yet, but… 😀

        2. airyu

          Omg freshman family weekend was only a week ago? D:

        3. John

          Yeah, it’s been a long week. The first three weeks ran about a year real-time, while this week started back in October 2013, and there’s still a couple months to go, so it’ll be a year and a half or more before it’s done. All of Book Four was this week, and we’re well into Book Five now.

          Week Four is the first since the first that we haven’t had a multi-day timeskip, and there was a lot less going on that first week.

    3. Blue

      I think October Surprise is a political term for the sort of twist that comes up in the last month before the election.

      1. Jon Rich

        You’re correct, it is.

      2. Yet_One_More_Idiot

        Ah, okay, that reference went right over my head.

        Then again, here in the UK we hold our general elections in May. So, just over a month from now in fact…

  9. Spencer

    AHA! See! Dorothy’s smiling! That means Mike’s repugnant behaviour is completely justified and it’s hilarious!

    1. winter

      Doesn’t it kind of make it better that Mike makes a habit of picking on people who can take care of themselves, rather than people who can’t? No harm, no foul, right?

      I get why people dislike Mike, since by any real world standard he would be disgusting and a blight on civilization. But I think we’re allowed to judge the hilariousness/likability of fictional characters on a different scale than that of real people.

      1. Clif

        But he’s not just a blight on civilization, he’s a magnificent blight on civilization.

    2. B.D

      …why’s it repugnant? He’s deliberately staying within arm’s reach of her (he has his own bunk).

      1. Spencer

        Do I need to explain in words why sneaking into somebody’s bed and taking photographs of them with the explicit intent of ruining someone’s future career is more than a little fucked up?

        1. winter

          I think (hope) that B.D’s point was that Mike intended to keep the phone within Dorothy’s reach precisely so she would have the chance to swipe it back. Ergo, he never intended to sabotage her career.

          Yeah, I buy that not at all. This wouldn’t be the first time a mike has ended a political career. (http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=773) And even if he intended to give her the opportunity to take the camera back, it unfairly puts the onus on her to do something about it. And even then, in what world is it okay to take and post sleeping photos of somebody without their consent?

          Yeah, I like Mike and all, but it blows me away that anybody would suggest what he’s doing is somehow acceptable.

        2. fogel

          Did he intend to post the pictures? Or is this his way of suggesting to Dorothy that maybe she hasn’t thought through the running for President thing?

        3. winter

          Dorothy’s comments about cleaning up facebook feed certainly suggest so. On the other hand, it seems unlikely that he’s had time to post already. It probably is his way of suggesting Dorothy’s not thinking things through.

          But, Christ, does it matter?

          I knew I made a mistake when I wrote “take and post”, bc taking the photos in the first place is wrong all by itself. And there are ways of suggesting things to people without acting like an asshole!

        4. fogel

          Yep. In the age of social media cameras have become like guns: dangerous things to point at people.

        5. Clif

          Indeed there are ways of suggesting things without acting like an asshole. But being an asshole is Mike’s thing. And he does it so well.

        6. StClair

          I started to reply, then I read yours.

        7. winter

          On another note, I doubt anybody who wants to become president has really thought things through (including all those people who actually got elected).

          I mean, four years in an incredibly stressful job with everybody picking on everything you do… Not to mention nothing quite puts how powerless you are into perspective like becoming one of the most powerful people on earth and still not being able to do shit. It must be a goddamn nightmare.

        8. fogel

          Word. I think that I started to get a little wise when I realized that I could not possibly do the job of president — and would absolutely not want to try.

        9. fogel

          I don’t think he snuck in. I went back to yesterday and it appears that Mike waited till D & W woke up to start on Dorothy. If he was really trying to get pics he’d have done it while they were asleep.

        10. John

          Mike has had hours unsupervised while Dorothy was sleeping. If he were serious about ruining her career, she wouldn’t have even known about the pictures until they got splashed across Fox Noise the October before her election. This is just obnoxious teasing.

          And, seriously, anybody who isn’t going to vote for Dorothy because it’s revealed that, in college, she was on a bed with her boyfriend fully dressed was never going to vote for Dorothy to begin with.

        11. StClair

          I don’t think he’s actually intending to, himself, do anything to her career. IMO, what he’s doing is indirectly pointing out that her current behavior is incompatible with her declared goals.
          Which is something that Dorothy has been ignoring as hard as she possibly can for a while now. :/

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    Mike really needs a girlfriend or possibly a boyfriend.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Mike dating some, Mike getting a job, Mike investing himself in someone else’s problems or him actually feeling guilt about something for the first time or him having some sort of interaction with someone new.

      Anything please and if not Mike someone else, but please anything but Joyce again.

      1. tim gueguen

        Mike spending time around Dina could have interesting results. Much of his nonsense would be ineffective on her given her peculiarities, which would likely drive Mike batty.

        1. fogel

          Dina doesn’t ‘need’ Mike to point out her self-deceptions and hypocrisies to her.

    2. DarkoNeko

      or a dog/cat. Probably forbidden in dorm tho.

      1. tim gueguen

        Mike is probably a dog person, and the dog in question would be a pit bull.

        1. Rycan

          I was thinking cat; he’d either get one that’s basically a feline version of himself, or get a fluffy white kitty to add gravitas when he’s at home plotting.

        2. fogel

          Mike Stavro Blofeld

        3. fogel

          A hound that sniffs out flaws in people’s self image and chinks in their social armor.

    3. fogel

      But who? Amber is out in this universe.

    4. zoelogical

      Malaya!

  11. TheTJ

    Besides, ANYTHING in Black and White gets an automatic Letter Grade increase in Photo Classes.

    1. Clif

      Close enough to true as to be passed on as wisdom.

  12. David Herbert

    Mike also has a photo of Walky’s junk falling out of his boxers.

  13. Beachfox

    In 30 years, Ms. Keener’s campaign is in trouble due to the lack of embarrassing college Facebook posts. “Is she even human? Who else our age doesn’t have -anything- embarrassing online?” Then, in mid-October, The Warner Files are released.

    President Keener wins in a landslide.

    1. Safgaftsa

      Wouldn’t it be Senator/Congresswoman/[other public office] Keener until she gets sworn in?

      1. Beachfox

        I have no idea what office she’d have pre-Presidency, so I defaulted to Ms.

        1. Safgaftsa

          I meant in the last line.

        2. Beachfox

          Ah! The entire piece is supposed to be written as a retrospective, so within the fictional time-frame, she’d already been elected president. We’re just reviewing how that came to pass.

    2. caesaria82

      I like your vision for the future 🙂

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      My near total lack of Facebook/Google+/social media exposure would most likely be seen as suspicious to HR departments if I were to ever re-enter the workforce.

      1. Cybersnark

        Depends on where you get hired. I’m pretty sure my current employers don’t know that “social media” exists. I’m pretty sure they don’t know that the internet exists.

        (They’re a company in charge of measuring audience numbers on television, which determines what shows succeed or fail. Which explains a whole fucking lot.)

      2. Animal

        Some of us are old enough that lack of social media exposure comes as no surprise. Although I do maintain a LinkedIn profile – LinkedIn being, basically, Facebook for people with IQs above 65.

        1. Kathleen

          I think you had a typo there… it should be Facebook for people WHO AGE above 65.

        2. Animal

          No, I had it right.

          It’s impossible for me to completely articulate my loathing for Facebook. Worst noise to signal ratio on the Internet, and that’s really saying something.

          Besides, I’m not quite 65 yet.

    4. Bill

      Or perhaps by then people actually elect candidates based on qualifications, not the skeletons in their closets.

      Hey, it could happen!!

      1. fogel

        You mean in a cartoon universe, not IRL, right?

      2. fogel

        “When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.”
        Clarence Darrow

  14. Safgaftsa

    Mike’s photography collection is made up entirely of crying faces and moments just awkward enough that people will believe they happened.

    And one take of a stack of nickels.

    1. TheLurkerAbove

      Together with a folder of mothers?

      1. neeks

        A rolodex of names all starting with “Mrs”

    2. Deanatay

      *hangs them all up on a wall together*

      Look at them! SO BEAUTIFUL… *tear*

  15. caesaria82

    I love happy, smiley Dorothy 🙂

    1. Bagge

      She is adorable. Walky notices.

  16. newllend(henryvolt)

    So Mike wants to be a photographer huh ? Attention all fans that like Mike , enjoy this one small new thing you learned about Mike because that’s the only character Development you’re going to get from him for the next 2-3 chapters.

    1. TheLurkerAbove

      No, Mike wants to be an asshole. Whatever he does is to serve that purpose.

  17. Ashley

    You can really tell why Ethan chose not to room with him, can’t you?

    1. Deanatay

      Or maybe, subconsciously, Ethan was hoping to win the roommate lottery, and score him a handsome hunk.

      Unfortunately for him, he did.

  18. Northcutt

    I choose to believe that 20 years from here, when Dorothy runs for President, she’s got to run against Indiana Governor Mike Warner. In both the Primary and the General. Because Mike’s presidential slogan is, of course “I’m whatever party you DON’T want me to be.”

  19. Ridureyu

    Man, I remember this one guy in my college who took pictures of girls in bed without their consent…

    …One day, his dorm room was empty, and we never saw him again.

  20. Twilightomens

    What is Mike’s major? I must know.

    1. tim gueguen

      Assholery Science.

    2. fogel

      Really, Willis should include their majors in the cast page profiles!

    3. podian

      Malicious Psychology.

      1. Deanatay

        More like, Psych with an Asshole concentration.

    4. Deanatay

      Journalism. With a concentration in Your Mom.

      1. Sharon

        And a minor in Applied Economics(for a nickel).

  21. Urukak

    Wait, wasn’t chasing people something Dorothy dragged Walky into, not the other way around?

    1. Bagge

      Yeah but he feels inferior and projects. He kinda did show her that tweet that led to them chasing Amazigirl and performing a sex. Might be what he’s thinking about

  22. anonymsly

    I love that Dorothy and Walky are still having more or less the same conversation they’d have if Mike weren’t trying to be an agent of chaos and disruption in the same room.

    That’s how you handle Mike. Deal with the stuff he’s doing, but otherwise pay zero attention to him.

    1. Screwball

      Or tie him up & gag him, them dump him in the closet. He enjoys being tied up & the roughhousing needed to do so, so it should work. Just try to remember he’s there before too long…

      1. Rycan

        Or else Dorothy will have a skeleton in her closet.

        1. Screwball

          LOL literally… 😛

  23. PureLionHeart

    Mike. Mike.

    1. JessWitt

      Mike Wazowski!

  24. poofdepoof

    People who like Mike – why?
    (follow-up aside: is he beyond reproach? If so, why?)
    My question is meant honestly and non-aggressively. 🙂

    1. winter

      I’m going to give this a shot.

      1. I don’t consider Mike beyond reproach, but Mike is interesting on a pretty consistent basis. And interesting outweighs niceness when I’m reading a story. Mike himself is largely uninteresting (in Shortpacked there was some barely touched upon narrative that he actually considered Amber too good for him and tried to drive her away because of it, but we’ve had nothing approaching that here). No, Mike is interesting because he reveals interesting questions about other characters. Is the safety of Walky’s D&MM DVDs less important to him than the time he spends in Dorothy’s room? Is what attracts Amber to Danny his pushover-ness? What made Ethan leave the closet in the first place, and why are those reasons no longer enough? Mike is consistently used in the narrative to instigate conflict and drive other characters to action, usually in interesting ways. (Honestly, I think he hasn’t been as interesting as usual in these last two strips though.)

      2. For all of us with sadistic streaks, for everyone who has wanted to stir up shit like Mike does, but doesn’t want the icky aftermath of actually having hurt someone and/or facing the consequences, we can all live vicariously through Mike.

      1. fogel

        I’ll take #1. And add, If Mike was JUST an a-hole or JUST went after any kind of weakness to hurt people or get a reaction, he’d be just be a kind of junior Blaine or something related. But Mike isn’t trying to dominate and torture people the way Blaine did with Amber. Mike sees some things about people AND points those things out to them in his own particular way, which violates social norms and conventions. He’s kind of a variation on a Shakespearean Fool. And the brilliant thing that DYWillis did with Mike in Shortpacked is making him the Anti-Angry-Drunk. I hope that he is in the Dumbyverse as well. I would LOVE to see Mike and Joyce get drunk together!

        1. JWLM

          Mike isn’t due for a good kicking; He’s due for a good kinking out.

          Specifically, he’s due for a “look what this guy did with his camera” report to the University president — coupled with a “and you do know that Facebook keeps a copy of everything ever posted there, so I can hold you to account if you don’t do anything, right?” reminder. Mike’s stuff would be out of his room in minutes.

        2. timemonkey

          Half the cast could have likely been kicked out by now.

        3. JWLM

          Yup. Mike was just stupid to leave evidence behind.

        4. fogel

          You don’t know that he even took pictures,let alone posted them. As was pointed out, he’s holding g his second camera in a not taking picture way.

      2. Stifyn Baker

        I think it’s been well established that most people reading this comic don’t like ‘nice’, hence Mike being more popular than Danny. However, seriously, Mike is due for a good kicking, which I would happily deliver… I did consider that Mike is only being a douche because he doesn’t know any other way of interacting with other people (an Autism thing again), but it’s been made abundantly clear that he does it deliberately and with malice aforethought. So he needs punching in the face.

        1. fogel

          Ah. Many people do seem to believe that physical violence is THE universal cure all.

        2. Bantha

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBxgrr0wL8M 😉

        3. fogel

          (: 🙂

    2. B.D

      I think there’s two camps in the “like” side, and they can overlap – those who think he’s funny, and those who think he’s right.

      He is neither good nor nice.

      The humor… will by all rights eventually get him on the beatdown side of an ass-kicking. His track record for being right (this isn’t the same as “good” or “nice”, not by a long shot) is solid.

      1. fogel

        He provoked beatdowns in the Walkyverse deliberately and didn’t defend himself.

      2. hof1991

        He’s not good, he’s not nice, he’s just right. So Mike is basically the witch from Into the Woods. That’s why I like him.

      3. Ntrovert60

        I read this and immediately thought of The Witch from Into The Woods. The song “Last Midnight” has a line that goes ” I’m not good, I’m not nice, I’m just right “. Sort of tends to sum Mike up nicely. Well, that and him doing your mom for a nickel…

        1. Ntrovert60

          OK, Hof. Didn’t even see that. Jeez.

    3. Clif

      Of course he’s not beyond reproach or you wouldn’t read so many reproaches in the comments. As to why – he’s an awesome force of nature; a personality so screwed up he wraps all the way back around to transendant. He takes something as common as being a jerk and perfects it to an artform, a thing of warped beauty in itself. Now the dumbing of age Mike is less perfect, less evolved, still learning, still misfiring on occasion. A dumber version if you will. But as compensation we get to watch his awesomeness evolve.

      1. fogel

        I agree, though I wonder, do the reproaches say more about Mike or about the reproachers, the way a lot of folks have reacted to Becky recently? Or about both? Mike’s persona is not nice AND people react to that.

    4. Rycan

      Lemme put it this way: Mike is funny, but being funny isn’t exactly a redeeming quality. So, I enjoy Mike being a second-string cast member because he’s funny, but I still think he’s a horrible person.

      Oh, and with regards to him being an asshole with a purpose, I consider it to be little more than a convenient plot device. The idea that his aims are benevolent is laughable. This ain’t Shortpacked!

      1. fogel

        Huh. I don’t find him funny. And I think we don’t know how much Dumbyverse Mike shares with Walkyverse Mike. I’m waiting to see him when he’s drunk.

    5. zoelogical

      cause he’s an interesting, well-written character.

      I don’t need to approve of his behavior to be entertained by it. it’s the same reason people watch House.

      …Mike reminds me a lot of Sawyer from LOST, actually.

    6. Deanatay

      I’ve always been a magnet for people others find abrasive or annoying. My friends tend to be hard to deal with, but they’re honest, caring and fiercely loyal to anything and anyone they believe in. They’re not trying to fit in – anyone who’s ‘nice’ is usually trying to fit in, to the extent that they hide from you their true natures in order to do so. Eventually, when you’ve known them for long enough, those true natures come out, and if they’re not what they seemed to be, you feel betrayed and hurt.

      Mike’s the sort who is very honest with people about his true nature – he hurts you upfront, shows you every rough face and sharp point he has. If you choose to stay, he knows you’ll be a true friend.

    7. Kya

      I think Mike isn’t portrayed as someone who is likable? The Ruth/Billie relationship still skeeves me out, because of the way Ruth physically assaulted her in the earlier strips, but everyone seems to be all gushy over it so I don’t see why Mike being a tool is any different.

    8. joshlamont

      Because Mike uses assholery to do good. And if you don’t believe me, remember how he died. This comic right here, he reminded Dorothy of her priorities and he’s forcing her to look at what she truly values more.

      That’s not to say he wasn’t/isn’t being an asshole. He always is. That’s what makes it awesome. He does more for the cast than anyone else, and he does with hatred in his heart.

  25. Khaner

    Wait, it’s only October?!
    Holy shit.

  26. Kris

    I’m sure the pictures will be taseful.

  27. JessWitt

    Awfully delightful? D’aww.

  28. Screwball

    Well, got in here in time to see what it’s like when it’s under 60 comments. Gotta admit, it looks…….empty….

    1. Clif

      Just think if you were second.

  29. David D. Davidson

    I understand the political humor but please tell us what month it really is because days within the strip have lasted MONTHS in real time

    1. Screwball

      Well, according to this timetable which some awesome person made, it’s Saturday at the end of week 4, with Sunday starting week 5. I don’t know where that matches up to American school terms, but least you know they’re basically 5 weeks in…

      1. fogel

        Most unis begin in late August, maybe early September.

    2. Catullus

      The author commentary for this strip sets 1.3 canonically in August, and this strip sets 4.3 canonically in September, so it’s September 25 at the latest.

  30. Bagge

    Mike should not harass people bla, bla bla. OK, I’m done with that for now.

  31. Bagge

    Awwww, Poor Walky. You feel you are not good enough for your awesome girlfriend. But here is the thing – SHE thinks you’re awesome enough.

    And give yourself some credit – most of yesterday’s dumb drama was on Joyce and Becky. The day before that was mostly Billie. Your dumb drama is like a week back. Thing is, you and Dorothy both care about your friends, and that is one of the main reasons she thinks you are awesome.

    1. fogel

      Yes, but it’s hard for some people to realize and accept that someone finds them awesome. Because that person might have really poor judgement 🙂

      1. Bagge

        “Dorothy is smart and helpful and will be president, and I am a stupid slob who fails math tests. Whatever can she see in meeeeee?”

        1. fogel

          “She is really smart, BUT everyone makes mistakes!” The logical disconnect driven by self-loathing and insecurity is amazing, and so sad.

    2. John

      Thing is, Walky knows that he’s been lying by omission to Dorothy, about something that’s probably more important to her than it is to him, and forms a large part of her image of him. She still thinks he’s getting perfect grades despite lack of studying and skipping class, and has even started to adjust her own behavior to follow his example. He has good reason to believe that she’ll be upset when she finds out about that, especially if it’s come back to bite her in the ass.

      And if it affects her grades and ruins her Yale and Presidential ambitions… not only would that probably be a relationship-destroying bomb, I think Walky cares about Dorothy’s ambitions just because they’re hers and he wants her to be happy even if they break up somewhere down the road. Plus, he can’t tell people he banged the President when she was a hot young college student if she doesn’t get elected.

      But he’s still scared to tell her because he worries that she won’t love him anymore if she finds out he’s not as brilliant a genius as she thought. So last night and today, he’s trying to tell her without actually telling her, get her to avoid that path that might affect her grades without coming clean as to why.

  32. saltchocolate

    Nobody has mentioned how Walky is still sort of reverse-psychology-ing Dorothy in the direction of studying more—because he is still (secretly) freaking out over his failed math quiz. The irony! The irony!

    1. DarkoNeko

      And he feel she’s sorta not studying enough anymore. Maybe. He can be surprisingly insightful.

      1. saltchocolate

        I didn’t think about that . . .

      2. Bagge

        They have that weird dynamic right now where they both try to accommodate the other. She studies less to make room for fun-time with Walky, for his sake and because she really has fun. He wants to study more to help Dorothy in her goals, and because he just realized that he has to. So they pull in different directions but meet somewhere halfway.

      3. fogel

        When Dorothy decided to take Friday night off, it seemed Walky wanted to study, which D didn’t recognize at all, but went along with D. But it seemed he was concerned about his own need to study, not hers. Or is he feeling guilty about distracting her?

        1. Bagge

          Both, I think.

        2. Kathleen

          He didn’t voice his desire to study because he doesn’t want to admit that he’s failed. And right after that, Dorothy praised him for being so smart he doesn’t have to study. Now not-studying has become a part of his identity and a positive trait, to admit that he needs to study might make Dorothy not like him as much (in his mind)

  33. Idon'tcarenomore

    Mike facts from other universe.
    Mike has great parents, really nice.
    Mike is really nice when you get him drunk. A really great guy.

    Mike does tend to pick on those quite willing and able to defend themselves. In this case, he should be a wake up call to Dorothy: if she is honestly planning a run for president (and she is), she has to be aware that this is indeed the kind of thing the scumbags who drop Oct. surprises love to get ahold of.

    The wanton college woman in bed with male in an open dorm. Exhibiting loose morals even at this young age. Etc Etc. blah blah blah.

    Someone above thread said it well: Mike is neither nice nor good. He is funny and he is right.

    I like Mike, always have from day one of Walky universe.

  34. Kater

    Mike, are you an art major? Is your entire life a giant preformance piece about how far you can push people before you wind up in a hospital?

    1. Peter Sadlon

      That’d be my guess.

  35. Reltzik

    Photography actually fits Mike. We already knew that he was a master of taking candid shots.

    1. Reltzik

      Also, wtf? My auto gravatar got switched from Walky to Mary? WTF? WHO DIES FOR THIS???

      1. Rycan

        Blame Willis.
        _

        Oh, need I mention we’d be pretty pissed if you killed the cartoonist?

      2. DarkoNeko

        Just put one manually in your settings ^^;

        1. saltchocolate

          Your grav is beautiful, btw, DarkoNeko.

        2. DarkoNeko

          *blush* thank you

        3. fogel

          Seconded: your grav caught my eye earlier.

      3. Deanatay

        You must not post very often, the rando-Gravs switched a few weeks ago.

        I went from Roz to Ruth. 🙂

        Still happy with it, too. 😀

    2. JohnnyO

      Candid shots of your mom

  36. TheLurkerAbove

    Well, if he’s really in photography class, he’s not been learning anything – he’s already holding the camera wrong. 😛

    1. Bill

      Are you referring to the fact that (based on every camera I’ve ever seen or used) none of his fingers are anywhere near the shutter button?

      1. TheLurkerAbove

        That and his left hand is not holding the lens barrel. This is the point-and-shoot style of holding, and it’s very easy to spot newbies that way.

    2. fogel

      Yes, but he might not actually be trying to get pictures. He doesn’t have to provoke Dorothy.

  37. XMinusOne

    That camera lens would look better shoved up Mike’s ass. He must have bought a copy of ‘How to Be a Total Douche and Like It’ by Paynan deAsse in the campus bookstore.

    1. Rycan

      Do you have any idea how much a good camera lens can cost?

      1. Cybersnark

        Do you have any idea how much anything in campus bookstores costs?

        The camera + lens would be the cheaper of those purchases.

    2. Deanatay

      You’re just trying to oppress Mike’s freedom of religious expression! The Church of Satan has just as much of a right to practice its beliefs as any other! The right to freely express one’s religious beliefs cannot be suppressed, no matter who else it hurts!

      THERE ARE LAWS ABOUT THAT, YOU KNOW.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_Freedom_Restoration_Act

  38. Aeron

    What photos? I was hosting a Meerkat.

  39. DarkoNeko

    Mike just want her to get out of his room already.

  40. Palaeoboy

    Enough of a photo geek to notice the Mike owns a Leica. He must come from quite a privileged background!

  41. Arikel

    See this is why I love Mike, I know exactly what he’s up to.

    Just like back with Walky’s pajeans, he’s forcing their relationship problems to the surface because he cares.

    That, and he gets to watch as they fight, I mean, it’s a win-win.

    1. Spencer

      Blaine just totally wants his daughter to be stronger and more independent.

      Mrs. Siegal just really wants grandkids.

      Mrs. Walkerton is actually just really worried about Walky’s school life so that’s why she ignores Sal so much.

      1. fogel

        Blaine totally flipped his nut when Amber became strong and independent.

        Mrs S: Ethan being gay doesn’t rule out grandkids, but everything is totally about her, not about who he might be and Wang to be.

        Mrs. W: all for Walky, none for Sal–except disdain.

        1. Andrusi

          Blaine just wants to test Amber’s strength and independence by seeing how she handles an abusive father!

          Mrs. S just wants Ethan to remember that his actions affect other people!

          And Mrs. W looks bad now, sure, but she secretly knows something about Sal that we don’t: she thrives when disdained! You’ll see when everything eventually works out for the best, thus proving that what set it off must have been a good thing done with good intentions.

        2. fogel

          We’ll, I’m convinced: “Abusive Love: Parenting the DOA Way!” DYWillis could do a self-help book.

  42. What was the question again?

    Mike is just a cuddly-wuddly who wants attention.

    Prove me wrong damnyouwillis.

  43. Deanatay

    Come to the Walky side, Dorothy. We have good friends, fun adventures and A+++ sexy times.

    1. Deanatay

      You don’t NEED to be President, do you, Dorothy? I’m SURE the nation won’t fall apart without you…

  44. Andrusi

    Mike: *performs various actions while not actually making any statements*
    573 different comments: As usual, Mike is absolutely right.

  45. JohnnyO

    Is she really worried people are going to judge her for having a college boyfriend? Is she running as a tea party candidate? We’ve already had weed-smoking and cocaine-snorting presidents.

  46. hof1991

    The number of presidents who were adulterers is rather high too. FDR, Kennedy, etc. Sleeping with slaves didn’t disqualify Jefferson. Reagan was even divorced and in bed with his second wife before the divorce. No cognitive dissonance there.

    But those were all guys. Any chance the rules wouldn’t be different for a woman??

    1. fogel

      Oh no, THE Double Standard is totally a thing of the past.

  47. Spencer

    What I’ve learned from the DoA comments is that constantly harassing victims of societal double standards, sexual assault, and abusive parents is okay as long as you’re allegedly attractive, because that means you have super deep and meaningful reasons for being such a twat.

    1. fogel

      You know, privilege…

    2. Kintrex

      Yeah, pretty much. People sure do like Ruth.

  48. Sara

    I’m not the only one who read that as “pornography class”, right? Right??

  49. Megatron

    *sigh*

    THIS is why arm mounted fusion cannons are a necessity.

  50. Ryan

    Mike is hilarious. Specifically because he’s impossible. Assholes like Malaya or horrible, awful people like Ryan aren’t funny because they’re very real.

    But Mike is hilarious because he’s completely impossible. Where did that camera come from? He just ALSO had it on him because he knew Dorothy would take his phone? No, it just materialized because that’s Mike and Mike’s a jerk and he’s hilarious. And it’s not like he’s malicious. Like evil, bad person malicious.

    He’s so cartoony and impossible that it makes him hilarious.

    1. Architex

      Mike’s got the hammerspace to pull out whatever he needs for the job!

      1. Animal

        Halt! Hammerzeit!

    2. Havtorn

      I like to think he _did_ have a camera on him because he knew Dorothy would take his phone. He’s basically the batman of being an asshole.

    3. winter

      I don’t know where everyone is getting this whole “impossible” thing from. Certainly, I don’t know anybody whose personality can solely be defined by dickishness like Mike’s is, but I know plenty of people who very calculatingly create scenarios with the express purpose of pushing people’s buttons (including the whole pull out a second camera when the first one gets confiscated). Mike seems clearly within the realm of possibility to me, not that it doesn’t make it funny to watch.

      Also Malaya’s great. No lies.

  51. Kathleen

    Mike WOULD be a good artist, given how perceptive he is with other people.

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