152

Given
Posted on February 6, 2018 by David M Willis

152 thoughts on “Given”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “why Mike, I didn’t know you cared”

    “I don’t, just verifying”

    1. Deanatay

      “Sounds like you need help. With surrendering.”

      *pulls out whip and bondage gear*

      1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

        I approve of this plan. Then again, I approve of most things that involve bondage.
        Alt: Next, on Slipshine!

  2. Doctor_Who

    But from his bed can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch milkshakes?

    1. Portland

      He can see that from his heart.

  3. AnvilPro

    Mike refuses to let Walky give up. Then there will be nothing for him to ruin.

    1. Aggrax

      To be fair, Mike also has to live in that room, which mean he has to smell Walky right now. It is likely unpleasant.

  4. Madock345

    So anyone else suspect Mike just got in this morning? 😉

  5. Kernanator

    It’s probably a bad sign that I am finding Walky here very relatable.

  6. Bagge

    Ah, living the high life as a bachelor, I see.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Yeah, if I saw someone eating like that, I’d assume they were living the “high” life as well.

      1. Geneseepaws

        And then there’s Miller High-Life, which means for Mike it’s Miller time?

  7. Yumi

    Ahh, college.

  8. Delicious Taffy

    To be honest, that milkshake sounds deliciously atrocious.

    1. Laladoria

      If you have Steak n Shake where you live, I recommend stopping in for one ?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        There’s one just half an hour away, by car. I love eating there, so this is a hot tip.

        1. cajunburger

          Steak and Shake has the best ideas for shakes, and thus they are burdened with terrible service as a result of their (delicious) hubris.

    2. Doctor_Who

      It’s a real thing. There’s Lucky Charms milkshakes too. And probably others, my current diet does now allow for such things very often.

      …I envy Walky.

    3. JohnF

      No, sardine milkshakes are atrocious. Walky’s one is just life threatening.

    4. JessWitt

      I’d second guess a crunchy shake and ask when the milk expired.

    5. Chronos

      I think you mean “atrociously delicious.”

      1. Kaunisenkeli

        I don’t know why, but when I read this I heard it being said by the leprechaun from those old Lucky Charms commercials (no idea what their commercials are like now).

    6. Yet_One_More_Idiot

      I think you have your words the wrong way round.

      Atrociously delicious = e.g. deep fried Mars bars, bacon butties, or Black Forest Gateau.

      Deliciously atrocious = e.g. mixing every single liquid you have in your house right now in a blender, and then drinking it.

      1. Khno

        I don’t get how Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte (or even Schwarzwaldtorte) compares with fat food rendered fatter combos…

  9. ashely

    it concerns me that the storyline is called “faz is great”. anyone else?

    1. Stephen Bierce

      Very much so, as a matter of graph.

      1. Willinwoods

        The graphing hands
        graph all they can
        Faz for himself
        after all

        (It is the greatness of Faz)

        Everyone has respect for Faz

    2. Teddae

      i didn’t even notice till you pointed it out. i’m scared.

      1. Inahc

        I’m pretending it doesn’t exist for as long as possible 😛

        1. Some1

          Look upon Willis’ works, ye mighty and dispair.

      2. jeffepp

        The fact that Willis is pointing it out on twitter, while giggling meniacally, I’m sure, doesn’t help.

    3. 3oranges

      Surely Faz is great enough that it should be proclaimed without him having to, you know, show up.

      1. Some1

        I’m honestly confused on how you can have an entire storyline about Faz. Although perhaps it will be revealed that Faz was homeless for the last couple months (has it been a couple months? Dumbing of Age time is confusing) after Blain got the shit kicked out of him.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Presumably, he’d still be able to live with his mother if that was the case.

        2. Kamino Neko

          Given how Blaine likely met her (based on how they met in the other universe, and the fact that he’s mobbed up in this universe, too), I wouldn’t be surprised if she was in jail. And his dad either dead, in the clink, or on the run.

        3. BBCC

          It’s definitely not been a couple months. It’s around the middle of October and Blaine was here in the third week of September. It’s been about a month.

        4. Clif

          Faz could have been in delivery all that time.

    4. McBogue

      I find it concerning because the last time we saw Faz was because Blaine was around.

      According to the timeline, it’s been a little over three weeks since Amber laid the beatdown on not-so-dear-old dad.

    5. brasca1

      Not all that concerned with Faz, but if he’s back then Blaine can’t be all that far behind.

    6. Keulen

      I’m definitely concerned, since in the first time we saw Faz in this comic he was brought to the college by Amber’s dad.

    7. JessWitt

      I was only worried about Faz. And then the other commenters mentioned Blaine so now I’m triply worried.

    8. Deanatay

      This storyline name has been on the Chapter List for a while – Willis always pre-names his chapters, and puts them on the Chapter list.

      So, yeah, I’ve been worried for months.

      Then again, maybe Willis is just taunting us. Maybe Faz doesn’t actually appear in ‘Faz Is Great’. Maybe it’s just his way of tormenting us? Wouldn’t that be great? *fragile, broken laugh*

  10. Passchendaele

    Mike presumably won’t exist for the next few hours. 😛

    1. Jhon

      Berkeleyan Idealism?

  11. Laladoria

    This is not going to go over well when midterms are over…

  12. Beef

    Oh no. Dorothy’s gonna blame herself D:

  13. Archivist

    If Mike is giving you basic good advice, you know things are bad.

    1. cesium133

      Mike just doesn’t want to put up with the smell.

      1. DarkoNeko

        Can’t blame him

  14. Stephen Bierce

    *plays the “Nacho Man” parody of The Village People’s “Macho Man” on the hacked Muzak*

    1. Stephen Bierce

      There Is More Than One Way To Be Nacho…
      This is the one I remember. I’m not a Simpsons fan.

    2. DarkoNeko

      Nacho nacho maaaaaaan
      I gotta be~ a nacho maaaan

      1. Deanatay

        “I’m single! Unattached! I’m MY OWN MAN.

        …

        Not-ch-yo’s!”

  15. NerdHerder

    FAZ INCOMING

  16. threePwny

    Dammit Walky, that is a classic symptom of depression! I should know! We’re four weeks into classes and I’ve been to only four German classes! Don’t do it!

  17. Derek

    ah to be able to eat like an 18-year-old again

    1. PB

      Remember eating cookie dough at 2 in the morning? Yeah, me too.

      1. Fart Captor

        Sometimes I would buy a roll of it with no intention of baking it, and just eat it like a candy bar

        1. Jordan

          I would get a brownie tray (or whatever they’re called), line the bottom with store-bought cookie dough, put Oreos on top of that, then put the brownie mix on top of that and bake it. Absolutely delicious.

  18. nothri

    Dorothy is gonna be pissed is Walky ends up becoming president due to a sugar rushed infused blackout.

    1. Stoodmuffin

      HA HA HA oh shit that’s actually funny. Rbin might be too though that’s HER gig

    2. Stoodmuffin

      Robin*

      Also, WHERE did you get your avatar? ???

      1. DarkoNeko

        probably Slipshine

        1. Stoodmuffin

          my thoughts exactly, I just wasn’t sure I missed a strip or something

        2. nothri

          Slipshine, indeed. It was basically about Billie “helping” Ruth take a shower.

  19. nothri

    IF Walky…

  20. Stoodmuffin

    When MIKE is the voice or reason, Walky. MIKE.

    MIIIIIKE.

    Do I have to say it again?

    1. Jordan

      When he’s doing it and doesn’t have a clear motive to cause pain and misery, then it’s really worrying.

      1. Stoodmuffin

        indeed

        1. nothri

          I figure that Mike has a very specific calendar for how he’s going to crush each and every person’s hopes and dreams, and the whole damn schedule will be thrown off if Walky falls into a pattern of self-destructive behavior. Mike must therefore intervene and help Walky out of these doldrums if he is to destroy him later.

  21. Badeyes

    If he keeps that up he’ll go from Walky to Waddley…

    1. JessWitt

      And then from Waddley to Rolly.

  22. nobodybasically

    I take it Walky also doesn’t believe in pants?

    Otherwise he should be using this break as an opportunity to wear those pajama jeans again.

  23. Marsh Maryrose

    I am guessing that this is probably one of the most autobiographical strips Willis has ever done.

    1. Some1

      So just replace Mike with Maggie and classes with Dumbing of Age?

      1. Yumi

        And toddlers.

        1. Some1

          Problem Solved!

        2. Some1

          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B_AzEeIGznU

  24. Rukdug

    Mike: “Oh fuck he’s gonna make the room reek even worse now.”
    Me: “I hope Mike suffers.”

    1. Jordan

      If Mike suffers, he’ll make sure to spread it around.

  25. Arianod

    Well, that was quick.

  26. Ainara

    Now this storyline name I very much don’t agree with

  27. Some1

    Look I’m sorry but as someone who relishes in the suffering of most of you guys, let me give my reaction to the commenter’s reactions to the storyline title.

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    You may continue.

  28. newllend(henryvolt)

    It looks more like your trying to eat your pain away Walky.

    1. JessWitt

      Post break-up eating – it’s what most humans do.

  29. kitty

    here is kitty’s finnish word of the day!

    siitin (penis)

    hahahaha

    have a nice day!

    1. hof1991

      https://youtu.be/djpnsqdNabM

      siitin on my own, not by myself.

    2. Chronos

      Perkele…

      (the only Finnish word I knew before I read your comments!) 😛

  30. Someguy

    Alright Willis, you don’t scare me! You wanna do a fax storyline? WELL BRING IT ON! I’d actually like to see how this plays out

  31. Reltzik

    Walky’s regressing back to before his brain recognized object permanence.

    1. Eldritch Gentleman

      This is quite terrifying. Not only was Doty his impulse control but she seems to have been also most of his higher brain functions…

      1. thejeff

        Or you know, depression as a result of a breakup – disguised as “I’m free!”
        Not that uncommon, really.

        Partly why this “pause”, rather than letting them catch up and sort themselves out is likely to leave both of them in worse shape.

        1. Eldritch Gentleman

          Might be it’s just… Walky is so hard to take seriously.

  32. kitty

    how did you find these pictures of me?

    1. Reltzik

      Quick! Put masking tape over your webcamera!

  33. @zombieundergrnd

    Doesn’t Walky realize if he fails out Dorothy is going to blame herself for not being there to support him.
    And then when she cracks and never becomes President and the world becomes a flaming fireball, it will be all his fault?

  34. LateCustomer

    Should I be concerned that Mike seems to be giving a sh*t about Walky here?

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      ?….shit your right, When Mike actaully starts caring you know things are probably really bad.

    2. Nono

      More like Mike doesn’t want his room to smell like cheetos and McNuggets all year round.

  35. Needfuldoer

    And now the bed is full of pointy Nachito fragments. That’s why you don’t eat chips in bed, Walky!

    1. Roborat

      “That’s how you get ants” -Archer

  36. Savail

    *sees name of storyline*
    *sees Valentine’s Day approaching*

    Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope.

    1. Deanatay

      You realize, of course, that if Faz shows up on Valentine’s Day… he’ll be coming after Dina.

      After all, Dina tied him up with rope. Faz has watched several Internet videos that indicate this means she desires his body. While Faz has several other potential lovers on his stalking list, his notes indicate that Dina is the most vulnerable, and therefore the most receptive to his advances. Let the wooing commence!

      1. thejeff

        Eh, bring it on.
        Dina can handle him. He tries anything there, he’ll wind up mailed to the Amazon. And that’s if Becky doesn’t get involved.

  37. Coco Pommel

    …. Why do I get the feeling that even if Mike likes to be a jerk, sometimes, he uses being a jerk as a front to actually be a good guy without copping to it because he likes being seen as a jerk so people don’t expect anything else out of him?

    1. thejeff

      Because Mike is messing with you on a meta level, setting you up to believe he isn’t just a jerk, so that the betrayal when he again reveals that he is will be more painful.

      1. Clif

        This.

  38. BenRG

    I’m guessing one week before Walky either ends up in the Emergency Room or some of his friends need to make an intervention. Either way, I’m expecting a bucket-load of Dorothy angst in response.

    1. thejeff

      I wonder if the reaction would be like this if we saw one of the girls respond to a breakup by drowning her sorrows in ice cream. What’s the difference, really?

      1. ValdVin

        How much ice cream? Walky looks to have enough junk food for a small Super Bowl party on his bed. And that’s on top of the McNuggets.

      2. BenRG

        If the’d eaten enough to be so clearly nauseous as Walky is in panel 1? Yes, I’d have been just as concerned.

      3. Sam

        If they were doing exactly as Walky is, I would be just as concerned.

        But it would honestly depend on who exactly it was you were referring to.

        Most girls that we know have a friendly relationship with Joyce, who would likely check up on them if she knew they missed a class. Whereas I wouldn’t expect her to check on Walky for a couple of days because they don’t get along as well and honestly, I can’t think of anyone else off the top of my head who would think to check on Walky.

        I wouldn’t have expected Mike to check in on Walky AT ALL even though they are roommates.

        And I don’t expect Walky to really be willing to listen to people either until they actually force him to.

        So like, if they had the exact same style of context as Walky, yeah, I would be just as concerned, but I don’t know any girls personally who while crying over a tub of ice cream wouldn’t contact a parent or a friend or a sibling or would let themselves wallow over it to the point of missing classes.

        Like, the context matters here that Walky is the exact kind of person to let himself wallow and spiral and ignore all the consequences.

        1. thejeff

          It’s the next morning! You don’t know anyone who wouldn’t screw up a night and maybe the next day over a breakup?

          Sure, if he actually wallows and spirals, then it’s an issue. But it hasn’t even been 24 hours. Frankly, I knew quite a few people who would have gone out, gotten plastered and been in much worse shape the next day – but not spiraled into alcoholism. Hell, I’ve done it.

        2. Brotato

          The point is that Walky’s personality means he very well COULD spiral, hard. He avoids his feelings, his responsibilities, and anything that isn’t easy. If there was a girl in the cast who acted remotely like that – which, there is, her name is Becky, though even she isn’t at Walky’s level of avoidant & irresponsible – and she responded to a breakup in this way, then yes, we’d be just as worried.

          Yes, some of the commenters are overreacting. Yes, it’s only the next morning.

          But that has absolutely nothing to do with his gender.

  39. PB

    Walky no don’t do this to yourself.

    I know you’re in mourning/relieved at your imagined freedom but THIS WILL BITE YOU IN THE ASS SO HARD IT’LL SCAR YOU IN YOUR TWENTIES.

  40. Plasma Mongoose

    Walky may be a slob but he is going to be very NEET if he’s not careful.

    1. Chronos

      cute

  41. acher4

    *Sees the new storyline title
    Oh for f… sake…noooooooooo!!!

    😛

    1. Zaxares

      Search your feelings. You know it to be true. 😉

  42. Torra

    I don’t understand the new storyline title

    1. Sunny

      It merely states the truth.

      1. DarkoNeko

        Or what Faz think is the truth, anyway

        1. Sunny

          Faz is great, if Faz thinks something is true, it logically follows that it must be true or else Faz wouldn’t think it were true. Logic!

  43. Eldritch Gentleman

    Damn this is basically a kid version of becoming a hopeless homeless alcoholic O_o

    1. hof1991

      After a college breakup, I did the adult version of that minus the homeless part. I may have done that before the breakup too though.

  44. DarkoNeko

    Well that went down fast.

  45. Stoodmuffin

    Oh god I’m not danny i’m WALKY.

  46. JessWitt

    Quit while you’re ahead, Walky. That metabolism of yours is going to give way eventually.

  47. Architex

    Got a strong drive to just throw the entire Walky and his sheets in a washing machine

    1. Just a Ian

      sounds like a good idea 😛

      1. Stoodmuffin

        I can agree to that. Should throw myself in too

  48. Wendylynn

    I was a philosophy major at IU… I’ll just show myself out.

  49. Danny

    Oh geez. This hits way too close to home for me. Freshman year of college, I pretty much let myself go. The next year all my friends had dropped out due to partying and skipping class. I finally found a good crowd and got my shit together, but damn this brings back memories.

  50. Mandy

    This is actually really nice of Mike. Maybe the makeouts left him in a good mood.

    1. Stoodmuffin

      Maybe he’s…. love drunk?

      thank you thank you I’ll see myself out

  51. Wendy

    Is Mike…concerned?

    Is Ethan rubbing off on him?!

    (Literally and figuratively.)

    1. Chronos

      I suppose Ethan managed to get a rise out of Mike…

    2. BenRG

      It’s difficult to imagine but Mike DOES occasionally care for people. It’s just that his way of expressing it tends towards the backhanded or even openly and counter-productively abusive (his attempt to help Amber comes to mind).

      I think his problem, like lots of people, is that he imagines everyone ultimately thinks the way he does so he always expresses things in the way he’d understand to be helpful.

      1. Brotato

        You’re the first commenter I’ve seen who seems to grasp that Mike isn’t the literal worst & does care/have emotions, while also not praising his “unique style of helping people.” (Read: abuse.)

        1. thejeff

          Mike isn’t the literal worst – he’s not Ross or Ryan or Clint or Blaine or even Mary.
          The jury is definitely still out on whether he cares about anyone or anything. There’s been very little sign of it so far.

    3. Remmington Steele

      Nah.

      This is just the best way to get at Walkie in his current sugar zombie state.

  52. Regalli

    I missed the storyline title the first time around, but guys it gets worse. Last time we got Faz we also got BLAINE.

    1. BenRG

      Blaine is still hospitalised, AFAIK. I’m wondering if this is going to be about Amber trying to be a good sister and helping Faz break away from his control.

      1. segnosaur

        I think its been a couple of weeks at least (comic book time) since Amber/Amazigirl beat up Blaine. I suspect that whatever injuries he’s had probably would have healed enough to be discharged.

  53. Remmington Steele

    I think, therefore I am
    I’m pink there I’m spam

    *proceeds to eat self

  54. Hari

    I’ve known people like Walky when I was at IU. They just kind of float and coast and sometimes got themselves into academic trouble.

  55. Ninjamaid

    DoA!Mike seems a little less extreme than IW/SP!Mike. Of course, as far as we know he’s never killed anyone, or been a secret agent. Less grand scale asshole and more kind of a jerk, but one that’d put a minimum effort to check up on you. Maybe punch your enemies for you.

    1. thejeff

      Or he’s just an asshole, without even the redeeming feature of helping to save the world.

      But people keep trying to read good into him.

  56. DEG1377

    Goddammit.

    Walky is me…

  57. signalfirefly

    Showing your age, Willis. They haven’t been called Nacho Cheesier in years.

    1. David M Willis

      …you do realize they’re nachitos, not doritos, in this universe, and so i can call them whatever i want, right

  58. Raibean

    I, too, want to be Diogenes when I grow up

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