Godless
Posted on October 6, 2013 by David M Willis

314 thoughts on “Godless”

  1. Tuanro

    Well. Shit’s ’bout to go down.

    1. Lumino

      What does, NOBODY else go to this damn school?

      1. GoldStarz

        Only the legion of shadow people who lurk in background.

        1. Fay

          Nobody who’s plot-convenient, apparently.

        2. Nobody

          I’m just wondering where joe came from

        3. Vash

          That’s Joe’s dad.

        4. Tomaj

          … this is still technically a valid statement.

        5. Vash

          NO SORRY THAT’S ETHAN’S DAD
          I’M A DUMMY

        6. GrrArg42

          I can’t see his eyebrow… I imagine it is raised.

        7. Neospector

          Your avatar is perfect to make this comment.

        8. noisyparker

          hm, I dunno… I think you were right the first time. If “a) Joe’s dad” and “b) Ethan’s dad” were the only two answers to a context-free multiple-choice question of “Where did Joe come from?”, I’d expect A to be considered the “most correct” answer.
          I dislike the ones where you have to take the “most correct” choice out of not fully correct answers, though (Maybe it is to get you used to voting).

        9. Oishi1117

          It’s Ethan dad he is with Joyce’s group. You can tell because you can also see Ethan’s mom walking with Joyce’s parents.

        10. MichaelHaneline

          Oh god that is kind of terrifying now that I think about it as a real thing and not a time-saving artistic device.

        11. Tungsten Aleph

          Try not to look at the dog park, and especially do not look for any period of time at the hooded figures. The dog park will not harm you.

        12. Starscreamer

          There is no dog park. And look to the sky. It won’t give you any answers but it will certainly let you know why everyone else is screaming.

        13. Tom Speelman

          Fear the night sky, children, and sleep tight in your beds, and the inadequate shelters of blankets and parental love.

      2. Twirls

        It’s Freshman Family weekend – everyone else fled!

      3. Ourorboros

        Lumino, no. Haven’t you noticed all the main cast live in the same dorm? Even on the same floor.
        For some reason, even the rich girls eat at the dorm cafeteria.

        (There are real creative reasons why everybody knows each other in sitcoms, but yeah it’s conservation of art.)

    2. Al

      First comment is best comment.

    3. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

      Target the Reavers! TARGET THE REAVERS! SOMEBODY FIRE!

    4. Dan

      KABOOM!

  2. thecanvashat

    THIS IS HAPPENING DEEP BREATHS DEEP BREATHS POSITIONS EVERYONE.

    1. rachel

      ok, head between knees, huh huh huh HUHHHH as ready as I’m gonna be

    2. NightmareWarden

      Naomi is taking out the angry eyes! Everyone hit the deck!

      1. Yotomoe

        I’m just imagining her like Mr. Potato head with different eyes in her back.

    3. Psycho

      And right then and there, the Dumbing of Age universe imploded from sheer , unbridled, AWKWARD TENSION.

      1. saltchocolate

        I can see this.

  3. Geminia999

    And Ethan’s dad is just walking in the back :/

    1. thecanvashat

      It’s in case he needs to make a stealthy escape so that SPIDERMAN can show up in time.

      1. Sir Robin

        Or a Spider-Car

        1. Sir Robin

          Spider … Car

        2. cliff

          Best. Comment. Ever.

        3. Historyman68

          The avatar/comment interaction is what really sells it.

    2. Yotomoe

      I’ll catch up, noone wait for me or anything.

    3. someguywithakatana

      These last few hours with his wife talking to someone else have been the happiest he’s had in a long time.

      1. Yotomoe

        What is this feeling…Is this what they call….silence?

  4. Mkvenner

    Speak of devil.

    1. Tristan B.

      What in the hell????????

  5. Jen Aside

    *throws money at you*

    WOO

    1. dragonbrain

      As long as it’s at least 4 nickels that money will go to a good cause

      1. Simon

        I wouldn’t describe sex with your mother four times as a *good* cause.

        1. CapnPanda

          Depends on the mother.

  6. Fluffy

    Aaaaaaaand clusterfuck in FIVEFOURTHREETWOONENOW.

    1. Yotomoe

      Sounds kinky.

      1. Tuanro

        THANK GOD Faz is still tied up.

        1. thecanvashat

          He thinks that’s kinky, most likely.

        2. Tunaro

          You could say that about anything.

        3. thecanvashat

          He thinks that’s kinky, most likely…

      2. NightmareWarden

        Kinky? I new there’d be an orgy eventually! Although, Joe and his dad are mysteriously missing…

        1. thecanvashat

          They will appear when the time is right.

        2. Tristan B.

          It’s all about Mike’s hatefucks.

  7. asdsadafa

    Fight! Fight westside story style!

    1. derick

      *snap* *snap*

      1. Farmer_10

        *snap**snap*(It’s finally happening!)

    2. The Candyman

      They’re all going to break out into song?

      1. James

        [I] The atheists are going to have their day tonight
        The atheists are going to have their way tonight!
        The Christians grumble “fair fight”
        But if they stat a rumble, we’ll rumble them right!” [/I]

  8. cliff

    Wait, why is this epic?

    1. NightmareWarden

      All the bad stuff is about to critical. The scene is set and the story is about to reach a violent climax.

    2. thecanvashat

      1.) Joyce’s parents don’t like Dorothy for the whole atheist thing.

      2.) Saul Siegal’s first and last name start with the same letter.

      3.) Ethan’s parents may bring up the “Ethan is Gay” thing, and

      4.) Dorothy won’t approve of that. (Sarah said this earlier too!)

      5.) The sun is setting, so shits abouts to go down.

      6.)Joyce and Dorothy are friends, but their parents likely aren’t.

      7.) Six is a bad number to end a list on.

      1. FuryOfFirestorm

        And Saul’s initial as SS, meaning that he’s secretly a Nazi spy who is plotting to use Ethan and Joyce to breed the next Hitler! Pretty sneaky, sis!

        1. Lel

          “You know who else was Jewish? Hitler!” – Joyce’s Dad

      2. Tuanro

        Ya forgot Ethan’s implied attraction to Joyce’s brother.

        1. vsophi

          “Implied”?

        2. thecanvashat

          Like the implication that Yoda is a Jedi.

      3. TJ Baltimore

        I suspect that Joyce’s family also wouldn’t be comfortable with Walky having parents of two difference races. After all, upon meeting Sarah, her mother said, “You’ve made an African-American friend! I can’t wait to tell everyone on our street that our daughter isn’t a racist!” It sounds like they aren’t very forward-thinking when it comes to race-relations as it is.

      4. Mr. Random

        7) Ethan’ll say Joyce knew. That she was “helping” him. And what Sarah said oh, so many strips ago may come true.

    3. Astraea

      Well, let’s look at the facts:
      1. The Browns already pretty much insulted the Keeners for having a daughter who is an atheist by leaving in the middle of the conversation (though they were cool about it)
      2. Dorothy doesn’t know Joyce is gay-conversion-dating Ethan (is that the term??), which Joyce knows will probably mean losing her as a friend if it comes out
      3. The Browns don’t know Ethan is gay (except, potentially, for her brother), so both Joyce’s parents AND her friend will hate her for dating him for entirely different reasons
      Aaaaaannnd…
      4. Ethan’s parents still dislike that he’s gay, so both Dorothy encouraging the behavior and the Browns potentially insulting their son as a horrible person could set them off. Actually, potentially, this could cause a split with Ethan’s parents because Mrs. Segal may agree with the Browns, while Mr. Segal decides to grow a backbone and agree with Dorothy
      All of which will leave Ethan, Joyce, and Dorothy potentially separated and scarred for life

      Our only hope is the Keeners, as the most sensible ones, will totally shame the other parents for being such jerk faces. Including the Walkertons for their pushiness, because I can’t think of any other way they could get involved in this debacle.

      1. vsophi

        Who would out him, though?

        1. Norah

          I agree, unless Saul does it. Ethan and Joyce aren’t going to. Dorothy, Walky and their parents don’t know. Naomi wants Ethan to fuck Joyce’s brains out because she thinks that’ll turn him straight, so she’s not likely to mention his being gay.

          I’m not sure, but I think the big thing here is that Dorothy and Joyce are meeting for the first time after Joyce’s parents dragged her away rudely after Dorothy admitted to being an atheist. Especially since Joyce was just about to say “it’s not like you’re godless” to Ethan as a reason why her parents wouldn’t dislike him, when she came face-to-face with Dorothy.

        2. vsophi

          Yeah, it’ll probably be the atheism thing. Still, I can’t see how it’ll be any more dramatic the second time around. Mostly just awkward.

          Might trigger some more doubts and regrets on Joyce’s part though.

      2. Spack

        You left out Ethan’s mother’s “Fuck Joyce early and often” commandment, which just might pop out again in the course of the Ultimate Showdown.

        Joyce’s parents would certainly object to this UnChristian person trying to turn their daughter into a fornicator, which could bring the “yank her out of that unGodly cesspool” card into play (or at least one more thing doing it).

      3. Ourorboros

        Joyce also believes that Doris is Godless (the word that was about to slip out) and will go to hell for it (said jokingly, but in belief).
        She has over looked her “beliefs” for her own self interests, with no sign of reconsidering her beliefs.
        Joe and Ethan are Jewish, while she is looking for a Christian husband. However, they are both handsome so he overlooked this fact, Sarah’s warning about Joe, and Ethan being gay. She believes being gay is about the level of lies – which she hates.
        She wants to have the friendship – or current companionship – of Doris, whom she believes is going to hell, has no firmly rooted beliefs, and has had “pre-marital hanky-panky”.

        Which raises the question of Joyce being at a secular college instead of the Christian college her friend went to.

        Then there is the question of how self-centered she has been, which is something Doris and Sarah should start thinking about. Everybody else has had to work around her “beliefs” while she will call theirs propaganda. She also wants to be babied, while really giving nothing back – unlike everybody else.
        Even after three weeks this has to occur to some people.

        Although (not having read the other strips) I’m guessing that doesn’t happen, the story arc keeps Joyce here with friends, and just enough modifications to her beliefs to get married.

        But Mike would be great for everybody’s growth right now.

    4. MarcinMN

      Because in this comic, everyone takes everything as personally as possible. 😉

    5. Ourorboros

      If Mike opens up a big can of truth, this should be utter chaos. I think others have given reasons.
      Which would actually be good for Joyce’s self serving ways, if nothing else.

  9. BayoWolf

    oh no.

  10. ironbillie

    the awkwardness is over 9000

    1. Tristan B.

      OMG that gravatar is so -squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

      1. ironbillie

        It better. I paid good money for it.

  11. DiDi

    Oh… my…YES.

    This is gonna be all the drama. Quick, everybody get settled! No interruptions!

    1. Yotomoe

      MORE DRAMA THAN YOU CAN HANDLE!!!

      1. Aizat

        THIS AIN’T YOUR FATHER’S DRAMA!

        1. CapnPanda

          ITS A BUCKET’S WORTH OF DRAMA!!

        2. Kyrros

          Pepperidge Farms remembers your father’s drama…

    2. Josh

      I NEED TO PEE!

      1. Tandel

        Hey, a creepy red vortex!

        …

        Ok that reference was unnecessary.

  12. Sir Robin

    I don’t get this, is there going to be a battle?

    1. Yotomoe

      I wasn’t thinking it, but I hope they all just duke it out.
      Willis, if you ever end dumbing of age, end it with everyone in a no holds barred fight to the death.

      1. thecanvashat

        Only Dina and Mike will survive.

        1. NightmareWarden

          Galasso disagrees.

        2. NightmareWarden

          Galasso will make a Pizza of DOOM out of the remains. Because a cook cannot be wasteful with ingredients, of course.

        3. Leorale

          Dina won’t be left standing. But it’ll be the best she can do.

        4. Osaru Sensei

          Ouch, dude.

          Dina was my fav character in the original universe. ;_;

    2. OH_NO_YOU_DI'ENT!

      Oh yeah! “Step Up: Revolution” style!

    3. Keroshino

      Yes a battle of Red vs. Blue!

    4. saltchocolate

      I’m predicting *no battle.* Just the biggest silent treatment EVER from Dorothy, and a looooonnnng journey back to friendship between her and Joyce (who will not have a bestie, just when she needs to sob about Ethan).

  13. Keroshino

    The Gathering Storm…

    1. thecanvashat

      The fire rises…

    2. Rani

      cthulhul f’tagn…

    3. Tristan B.

      He who must not be named……..

    4. Aizat

      The Eye of the Storm.

      1. Rani

        The one who knocks…

    5. Kelly

      I was thinking maybe Lord of Chaos. I think we are still a ways out from A Memory of Light.

    6. Kernanator

      He Who Walks Behind.

  14. rachel

    also oh my god I LOOOVE this sunset scene, reddish hue on everything, so beautiful!! SUPER JOB WILLIS-MAN

    1. Leorale

      True! It may well have been excruciating but it’s so pretty.

      1. saltchocolate

        Yes — thank you, Willis!

  15. Plasma Mongoose

    Watch out fans, there is a flying heap of wet shit aimed right at you.

    1. Yotomoe

      Ew.

      1. NightmareWarden

        Don’t worry, it missed by a lot.
        And hit the fan.

        1. thecanvashat

          But it’s going down! And dripping everywhere!

        2. Yotomoe

          Ew

        3. saltchocolate

          There’s a whole creek of it below Joyce — who, of course, left her paddle in the dorm.

  16. Rani

    THAT WHICH BEGAN IN STRIFE MUST END IN BLOOD.

    LET THE TRIAL BY COMBAT PHASE OF PARENTS’ NIGHT COMMENCE.

    1. Yotomoe

      My money’s on the Saurazu’s. They’re hiding their animal instincts.

      1. thecanvashat

        I believe the proper term is “prehistoric power”

        1. Aizat

          I thought the term was “Ancient Power”?

        2. Kernanator

          Also, they’ve all got Serene Grace as their ability. Meaning each use has a 20 percent chance of raising Attack, Defense, Special Attack, Special Defense, and Speed.

        3. Yotomoe

          Don’t be silly. Their ability is Oblivious.

      2. Rani

        The Saurazus and Amazi-Girl have shot their bolts keeping the worst evils from the battlefield.

        There will be no dawn for (wo)men.

        1. Kiggy

          Saruyamas….lol

    2. Joe

      FOUR FAMILIES ENTER ONE FAMILY LEAVES!
      FOUR FAMILIES ENTER ONE FAMILY LEAVES!

  17. Yotomoe

    WHEN PARENTS COLLIDE.

    1. Yotomoe

      which is how they became parents in the first place

      1. Kernanator

        I get it!

      2. Kiggy

        I see what you did there

    2. Wack'd

      Wake up the masses! Assume the crash position. Hold on tight, take a deep breath for a new kind of comic strip. It’s Dumbing of Age, where students and parents collide.

    3. Tenn

      Plot twist: Indiana U is a giant parenticle accelerator.

      1. Arkadi

        BEST COMMENT.

  18. Mattyos

    DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER!

    1. Mattyos

      also….MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!

  19. Super Duper

    Let’s get all Great Legend War in this comic’s ass!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mJLyHR9QfM

  20. cliff

    Someone please explain. Why is this dramatic? Am I missing something?

    1. Rani

      Name your favorite series and I will carefully explain how this is like that epic reckoning that you waited 5 seasons for.

      1. Tenn

        …Teletubbies?

      2. The Candyman

        Saturday Night Live?

    2. RobHagen

      It’s a perfect storm of awkwardness. More than a few folks in those two groups don’t like others in the other group. Plus the word about to come out Joyce’s mouth is probably not something she wanted to say to Dorothy…

      1. cliff

        Other than the slight anti – GOD vybes between Joyce and Dorothy’w families, what is there?

        1. Shade

          Weeeeeeell, there is the possibility of somebody accidentally outing Ethan as gay, and you can guess the shitstorm that’ll stir up with Joyce’s parents. And then of course there’s just Ethan’s mom in general, can’t imagine how she could possibly make this situation better.

          Basically, if you’ve read the strips that involved each of the families, it’s hard to imagine how this CAN’T go wrong.

    3. Reltzik

      It isn’t epic.

      Not yet.

      It’s got the ingredients, and it WOULD be epic if left to percolate with just what we have here, but we ALL know Willis is going to add even more epicness to it before it’s done.

      At the very least, it needs the addition of at least one of the following: Danny, Leslie, Robin, or Roz. Also also Joe and/or Mike as chaotic comic relief injectors.

      Do not worry, though. It WILL be epic. The Willis will provide. Have faith in the Willis. And then Damn the Willis until the sun comes up, and he draws it in glorious, time-consuming splash format.

      1. Leonou

        I’m sorry but forggot the epicest of all epic components :
        Sarah’s Bat !

        1. Reltzik

          Yes, but that’d be too epic. That’s “end the strip” epic, not “end the storyline” epic.

          … besides, what makes it epic isn’t the bat, it’s Sarah. It’s more epic if she never uses the bat like that again. Instead, next time she needs to be violent, she uses a standing lamp, and the next time, a chair, and so on through the WWF armory.

  21. Giant Speck

    It’s like a final showdown of family drama.

  22. Geminia999

    Also, how distracted was everyone that they only saw each other when they where about walk right into each other? It’s only a fountain

    1. Shade

      Easy, it’s called follow the leader. Most of the group isn’t paying attention to where their going, only where the person in front of them is going.

      Plus, given the fact that most members of each group are paired up, they were probably each having their own conversations. Do you often notice people when you’re walking and having a conversation at the same time?

      1. Historyman68

        Yes, but I am constantly on a lookout for people I may know at all times. Lamp-poles and trees, however, I am apt to walk into on the reg.

  23. OH_NO_YOU_DI'ENT!

    Two households, both alike in awkwardness,
    In fair Indiana, where we lay our scene,
    From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
    Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
    From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
    A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life;
    Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
    Do with their death bury their parents’ strife.
    The fearful passage of their death-mark’d love,
    And the continuance of their parents’ rage,
    Which, but their children’s end, nought could remove,
    Is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage;
    The which if you with patient ears attend,
    What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

  24. Yotomoe

    And their eyes met. And then they made out.
    And their families fought.
    And the Romeo and Juliet analogy is complete.

    1. ironbillie

      Where did you get that grenade Walky?

      1. ironbillie

        Shit wrong person. Keep moving people nothing to see.

      2. Aizat

        “I don’t know”

      3. Wack'd

        Hey Walky, where you goin’ with that grenade in your hand?

  25. Baker

    This is going to turn out like that fight from Anchorman. Maybe Ethan’s mom will get tridented?! We can hope.

    1. merbrat

      I was imagining the fight in Blazing Saddles!

  26. Henry

    And thus begins the great shitshow of our time.

    1. Shade

      Your avatar, is greatness for that comment.

  27. Bill

    Isn’t that Walky alongside Dorothy?  How did you miss putting him in the tag cloud?

    1. Yotomoe

      You act like he’s a main character or something.

      1. Bill

        Isn’t he?  He’s one of only five characters who have their own drop-down when you mouse over the word “cast” in the header.

        1. Yotomoe

          (I’m being fecetious :3)

    2. TaintedSpud

      I’ll take some. This gonna be good.

  28. Regalli

    … So, uh. Popcorn, anyone?

  29. alicemacher

    Joyce: Ahahaha… Slip of the tongue. “It’s not like you’re Goldilocks,” is what I meant to say.

    Dorothy: …Why would anyone mistake Ethan for Goldilocks?

    Joyce: Well, um, we were… (runs off)

    1. timemonkey

      Because they both love the cock?

      1. alicemacher

        Hmm… Goldilocks was rather young in the traditional fairy tale for that to be an issue… I’ll grant that once she’d grown older, the chances would be in favour.

        1. Leorale

          Goldie was an obnoxious old woman in the original. A vagrant deserving a stint in the House Of Corrections.

        2. John

          My money’s on Goldilocks being bi.

          “This orientation is too straight! … but this orientation is too gay! Ah, but this one is juuuust right!”

        3. Reynard-Miri

          So where do I deposit this $50?

        4. vsophi

          +9999

        5. saltchocolate

          quotable

    2. Jack Finch

      Godel. She meant Godel.

  30. Portmanteaust

    $50!? I’m not paying more than $15, Mr. Willis.

  31. AgentKeen

    Oh man…

  32. Doom Shepherd

    Warning! Interfamilial hostility level approaching critical mass! Abandon planet!!!

    1. Rani

      INITIATE HAMMERDOWN PROTOCOL

      1. Dragonwheel

        WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

      2. Historyman68

        STOP

      3. Historyman68

        HAMMERDOWN

        1. The Candyman

          +9001

  33. Anywhere

    NOW KISS

    1. Pyr05

      Kiss like you mean it! We all know you do!

    2. The E-man

      MY FIRST THOUGHT UPON SEEING PANEL 3

  34. guy

    Can the next comic be the part where Walky says something really honest that makes shit super awkward for Dorothy Joyce and Ethan? That is the best part.

    1. Yotomoe

      “Just so you know I caught that dude checking out my ass the other day.”

    2. Tristan B.

      Amen. May Willis let it be so.

  35. Rani

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6xoEy-UO8s

    For some reason, this comes to mind

  36. cliff

    tetting money that Amber shows up. Only way to justify this over drama. Only tension here is with Joyce and Dorothy and even then, it’s nbd. Unless there’s unspoken issues between the adults.

    1. Astraea

      Ooh! There’s potential for that, actually. Even if Joyce’s parents are a little older than most, the Browns AND Mrs. Walkerton (I think, considering she almost married the Dead, I’m guessing maybe they met in college) have all gone to Indiana, and some of the other parents may have as well (it hasn’t been stated). There may be an unstated history there…

      1. vsophi

        “she almost married the Dead”

        Kinda harsh, don’t you think?

  37. Ragnal

    Nothing.

    That is the amount of good to come from this.

  38. Jack Finch

    cue tire SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCH sound effect.

  39. Unit Eleven

    Well, this is the perfect recipe for a shitstorm.

  40. Kernanator

    EXPLOSION TIME.

    1. Aizat

      Or even better “LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!”

      1. Shade

        Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand FIGHT!

        1. The Candyman

          MORTAL KOMBAT!

        2. Keroshino

          Heaven or Hell, Let’s Rock!

  41. Aizat

    Only a few things that could come out from this: A High Noon or a The Good, The Bad and the Ugly or that bit where everybody’s yelling out names.

    1. Aizat

      Or like that fight scene in Anchorman.

  42. LS

    I’m gonna need a wallpaper size on that last panel. 1920×1080 please. Though if you could do it in 3640×1080, that would be even better. One group on one monitor staring at the group on the other!

  43. JessWitt

    And the great pileup begins.

  44. Wonder Wig

    THE JETS ARE GONNA HAVE THEIR WAY TONIIIIGHT

    1. CharLee

      When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way!

  45. FuryOfFirestorm

    Then the next comic will be a frame by frame remake of the knife fight from the music video for Thriller.

    $20 says that Joyce wins. Conservative Christian girls won’t hesitate to stab a bongo.

    1. Fay

      50 monopoly dollars that Dorothy wins.

      1. Kernanator

        I’m going with Mrs. Brown. She knows the street, after all.

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/perfectest/#comment-132786

        1. John

          In a free-for-all, my money’s on Joyce. The girl hides some serious righteous wrath behind those big baby-blues. She wields a mean glass, too.

    2. TripCyclone

      You meant the knife fight from Beat It. Thriller was Zombie Dancing…no fighting.

      I also hear Beat It in my head, but if they all started shuffling and jumping in unison, I think it would be an equally mind-boggling turn of events.

      1. FuryOfFirestorm

        You’re right. Mea culpa.

  46. Aizat

    Welcome to the Thunderdome: Four family enters, one family leaves.

    1. Keroshino

      Geez…can’t we just get “beyond” that! 😉

      1. Aizat

        Well played, Keroshino. Well played, indeed.

  47. vsophi

    awwwwwwwk

    1. Leorale

      waaaaard

  48. HAB

    Sweet Robin’s ass! Shit’s about to go down.

  49. ironbillie

    And then Joyce and Dorothy just gave into their deep seed passion and began to make out right in front off everyone. This started a chain reaction of passion thru out the campus as everyone there that night gave in a found there soul mate. Joshua and Ethan, Ruth and Billie, Walky and a 200 piece Chicken McNuggets box with free toy. On that night, as said first by the immortal works of Roderick King, Everyone got laid.

    1. ironbillie

      And Dina found a real life Dinosaur!

      1. Aizat

        Nay, Dina turned into a a real life dinosaur. And she fought the evil dinosaur empire.

    2. Aizat

      But that does not sate my blood lust. I demand violence.

    3. Shade

      I don’t want to imagine who Faz would get paired up with. But my mind demands this information to made so.

      1. vsophi

        I… I was trying to think of something funny, so I started going through the cast list, a-and the first person I thought of was…

        …Mike. And now my soul is in tatters.

  50. PureLionHeart

    If ever there was a time to pray…

  51. Zababcd

    I would gladly pay the fifty dollar fee, if I had fifty dollars. The last panel is great.

  52. Beachfox

    If the upcoming drama isn’t interrupted by Amber’s dad and Faz somehow, there is no god.

    1. Bilfred

      nah, I bet this plot just fizzles out. There’s not much to do here.

      1. cliff

        Glad I’m not the only one to feel that way. Most of these commentators are just looking at the dramatic set up and going “OOOHHH” without considering that the beef here is practically non existent.

      2. Josh

        Next page:

        Dotty: Oh… hey!
        Joyce: Hey!
        *both parties carry on walking*

  53. Sensedog

    Alright Willis, fair enough. If it works for you, I will pledge at least $50.00 on your next kickstarter related to DOA, whenever that may be. Your comic still keeps me interested, so I have no problem in making this pledge.

  54. Kitschensyngk

    My prediction? NO SURVIVORS.

  55. Gunlock

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwBK31tC5QM

    Pretty self explanatory.

  56. Lucas

    Joyce’s family vs Dorothy’s family; Ethan vs Dorothy. S**t’s about to go down.

  57. Greenygal

    Somewhere, Sarah is offering up a prayer of thankfulness that she is not in this scene.

  58. Baker

    Ok for anyone not seeing the potential for drama here, Ethan is the gay boyfriend that Joyce has been hiding from Dorothy to avoid a fight over religion. Dorothy is going to want an explanation of who he is and why she never was told about him. Joyce is going to have to either lie, which Joyce being Joyce she very likely won’t do, or tell her the truth.

    Talking about how she’s dating a gay guy to straighten him out is going to cause a total explosion especially with the parents involved.

    1. RobHagen

      Dorothy knows she’s dating Ethan. They had meal discs and talked about stuff in the ladies room. The gay part, well that’s another kettle of fish…

    2. Norah

      But Dorothy knows that Joyce has been seeing Ethan, she just doesn’t know he’s gay. They were all at Galasso’s in the “Guess Who’s Coming to Galasso’s” arc, and it was pretty clear that Joyce saw Ethan as her boyfriend. Joyce even talked to Dorothy in the bathroom about it.

      1. Norah

        Oops, we must’ve posted at the same time.

    3. John

      Dorothy knows that Joyce and Ethan are dating. She was right there when Joyce kissed him at Galasso’s. She just doesn’t know that Ethan is gay, and Sarah told Joyce that Dorothy would dump her if she found out.

      (I think Sarah is underestimating Dorothy’s loyalty – I think she’s more likely to try to convince Joyce of the error of her ways than to dump her – but it’s certainly plausible enough that I can see why Joyce believed her.)

      I doubt the Browns would approve of Joyce dating a gay guy, either, even if it is to convert him. They certainly don’t approve of Dorothy. The Siegals know that Ethan is gay, and don’t know that it’s supposed to be kept secret from Dorothy (or the Browns).

      1. vsophi

        Why would you want to bring attention to something you view as a “disappointment”? They won’t say anything about his gayness, surely.

        1. John

          Well, I don’t think they’d just up and volunteer it, but I could see it coming out in the middle of an argument provoked by, probably, Dorothy’s godlessness.

        2. Baker

          I had forgotten they had met, that’s right. These recent Ruth/Billie Amber/Danny arcs had pushed it out of my head I guess. I do think Ethan being gay will somehow come up though, I don’t really see how else a big bunch of drama would spew forth from this.

        3. vsophi

          Maybe, but I dunno, it seems like a stretch. And in any event, I was hoping he’d end up having some sort of secret fling with Joshua, and I don’t think that’ll be able to happen if he’s outed now.

          Don’t crush my dreams!

        4. Baker

          They still could, Joshua was shown the way to Ethan’s dorm room.
          It’s not like Ethan being gay would turn Joshua away and he’s plenty old enough to drive himself. In fact the biggest reason he decided to get away from Ethan to begin with was because he didn’t want to hurt his sister when Joshua realized he and Ethan had chemistry. If the Browns were downright awful to Ethan he might just show up to apologize for their actions. Crazy fling ensues?

          The Browns aren’t going to want Joyce to talk to Dorothy at all, even if Joyce and Dorothy are perfectly friendly with each other I think the Browns will be vindictive. All they have to say is something like “You need to stay away from her, you could get ideas from her and that boy.”

          That could be the starting point right there, Mrs. Siegal or Joyce objects and it’s not far from there to providing the why. Joyce would be bringing up it not being an issue for them more than most couples, or Mrs. Siegal could mention she really wants them to have sex. All they have to do is start talking about sex , and the atheist “bad influence” being there with her boyfriend is an easy way to get that conversation started. Ethan being outed could very well be the dramatic punchline/cliffhanger of an escalating situation. Which fits since it seems doubtful this is going to be over in just one more strip.

          Anyway that’s my crazy speculations.

        5. vsophi

          Hm, you have a point. It’d just be more dramatic (and completely awful) with mine.

          Then again, there’s no way this storyline will be able to end on any sort of a non-awful note, so…

  59. Mr. Morningstar

    I forsee gnashing of teeth and punching of faces in the near future.

  60. Alexis

    Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

  61. nothri

    I was gonna be like “man, god really has it out for these characters today” then I remembered that “god” of this world is Willis and he has it out for these characters everyday.

    1. Shade

      I once thought that being a writer was kind of like being God. Now the only thing I pray about is that God isn’t a writer, because when you think about it, writers are dicks to their characters.

      1. nekobawt

        that reminds me, i still need to watch that movie where emma thompson tries to think of a good way to kill will ferrell.

        1. Baker

          Stranger than Fiction

        2. nekobawt

          yeah, thanks, i found that out after i almost said it was the one where helen mirren etc etc, but then i thought “that can’t be right” so i looked it up and it turned out not to be the case.

          maybe in a future “red” sequel, though.

  62. GoSpeedRumpist

    Quick Walky, get in there and direct everyone to the nearest nacho vendor!

  63. Cheryl

    I just saw shit fly into the air, and Im pretty sure its about to hit the fan.

  64. Originalslugboy

    Do you suppose the DOAgers are old enough to understand the needle-scratching-off-the-record sound they all clearly just heard?

    1. Bill

      If you’re referring to the DoA readers, this one definitely is……

  65. Pier

    Sad Ethan is sad.
    http://www.picfront.org/d/91tc

    (I was able to finish it, a week after the last Joshua storyline)

    1. vsophi

      omfg this is fantastic +1

    2. caesaria82

      This is amazing!

    3. Pier

      Thanks. Willis tweeted my last art. Hopefully this one will be tweeted as well 🙂

  66. Vash

    Oh god it took me a second,
    but when I figured it out: PRICELESS.

  67. John Madden

    http://dundundun.net

  68. vsophi

    I’m kinda confused as to why everyone seems to think Ethan’s gayness will factor into the situation at hand in the slightest. None of the people who are aware of his inclinations has any motivation to announce it to the world.

  69. Gottawonder

    Beautiful panel Mr. W. It really is.
    As to big scene coming up…everytime the stage has been set for some major fireworks….fizzles. The one exception being when Amber smacked her father a good one and then Ruth flipped him ass over teacups in the hallway.
    So, I’m guess a bit of mumble mumble ackward gotta run long day see ya around sort of thing.
    But, I could be wrong. Mr. W. is good at plot twists.

  70. Gottawonder

    Why is Joyce’s hair pinkish colored? Not the sunset, because Dorothy’s hair isn’t.

    1. Dave O

      Probably a breast cancer awareness thing. Pink for October. No idea who to donate to, to aid in the fight. But now you’re aware, and that’s all that matters, apparently!

  71. Jammy

    Bam

  72. Omnithea

    Tags: Spray of Bodies

  73. Salmo

    DANGER ZONE!

    1. Keroshino

      With a Highway leading right to it!

  74. Featherstone

    uh….I’ve got fifty dollars in monopoly money!?!?!
    (Though as soon as I have spare money I’m buying one of your everything)

    What’s REALLY going to be excruciating is what happens next in this little drama. I was happy those two were friends.

  75. Galatine

    I am disappointed that Sal has not rejoined her family. Bringing with her her new british boyfriend. Just to make things awkward.

  76. Matt

    But you’ll have to face the future…when the truth comes out!

  77. Corlanthis

    While I do think a fight is about to break out, eventually I expect to find out the fountain is really a rocketship and Walky, Dorothy, Joyce, Ethan, Dina, Billie, Sarah, and Howard are going to go fight Robo-Vac.

  78. Synnerman

    Fwakoom!!!

  79. Hoboturtle

    Oh badness is coming.

    Damnit Ruth, I thought you said the day was over, all the badness should be gone.

    1. Norj

      The day is over, it’s time for the nightmares to begin.

  80. blackouthart

    WELP
    CALLING IT NOW
    Ethan’s parents aren’t going to out him as gay because, let’s be honest, his mom really wants Joyce to have sex with him and publicly outing him isn’t going to help that. It’s actually way more likely that Walky’s going to piss off Joyce’s parents by ranting about Dexter, or even Sal showing up out of nowhere displeasing them bc she’s hanging out with rebellious heathens- which will lead to a big parent blow-out that will have all the kids in the middle. This will helpfully siphon away the attention from Joyce and Ethan’s relationship, though it will be very melodramatic.

  81. linkotd

    MORTAL COMBAT!

  82. blackouthart

    wait no
    different call
    MIKE WALKS THE FUCK IN AND ANNOUNCES THAT ETHAN IS GAY. he’s still on campus with his parents, yeah?
    guys for the holy mother of sol this is the perfect moment to shit on everybody’s life. joyce loses dorothy and ethan, dorothy loses joyce, walky…is stuck in drama yet again, ethan just gets REALLY SHIT ALL OVER, everyone’s parents are furious, and mike bangs all the moms.

  83. JA

    OH SHI-

  84. Evil Fairy

    …And in other news, a dozen people dropped dead on campus earlier this evening. Details are sketchy, but the cause of death is tentatively given as ‘brain hemorrhaging due to unsustainable awkward tension.’ More details as they develop.

  85. Crumplepunch

    NOW KISS.

    Seriously though, all we need is Amber and Danny meeting at that same place to reach awkward critical mass.

  86. Notebooked

    OOOOOH HOT DIGGITY
    jeeze I used to have really long and elaborate commentary once upon a time but that was before all these super intense comics came around

    I seriously hope they can talk about this because Dorothy’s generally pretty level-headed and they have discussed her atheism before. Hopefully she knows this is a terrible coincidence, but if she starts feeling like Joyce has been lying to her about being okay with it that could put a pretty bad dent in their relationship. (Not to mention that Dorothy, while commendable for being so frequently open for talking things through, doesn’t have to do that, and if she feels Joyce has been dishonest about her feelings she may actually not be able to have a good heart-to-heart.)
    gjjj tensioooon

    1. Josh

      You’re also forgetting that Joyce hasn’t told Dotty about Ethan.

  87. turbanous

    I love all of the body language in the final panel. Especially how Joyce’s mother seems ready to throw down.

  88. wr3h

    :O

  89. Ryan

    Oh hey, what’s that mushroom cloud in the dist–

  90. Ray Barrington

    And suddenly, Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” started playing and they all went into a combination gang rumble-dance number.

    1. saltchocolate

      ha!

  91. Jack Finch

    What did Dorothy say that time?
    oh yeah
    Joyce this is no longer adorable.

    1. Hoboturtle

      Quickly Joyce, pretend to be Dina! You might be able to mimic some of her adorableness!

      1. Jack Finch

        Monkey Master Shirt and Dinosaur Hat = a rift in space time

  92. Spack

    Cue up “Mortal Kombat theme” and “Ultimate Showdown”. Play similtaneously.

  93. kk

    shit’s about to get fucked up

  94. Andrew Thomas Giarrusso

    “Godly. It’s not like he thinks he’s god.”

  95. LiamAldam

    New tag record!

  96. Kyle

    do you accept checks

  97. Victor Riley

    It’s on… It’s on! FAITH WAR!! Faith War’s on, everybody! It’s going down… s**t is going down!

    Faith war… come on… faith war!

  98. maycroft

    Faith trainwreck!!

  99. shietka

    Has no one yet seen the alternate version on Willis’s tumblr?
    http://itswalky.tumblr.com/image/63240765584
    Glorious.

    1. Asurasur

      SO MUCH LIKE!

      1. Raen

        It took me considerably longer than it should to realize what had been changed.

    2. Jack Finch

      Fanservice, your name is Willis.

    3. saltchocolate

      LOVE!!

  100. Tufto

    Do. Not. Cut. Away. From. This. Tomorrow.

    Please.

    1. Raen

      I’d say “of course he will,” but then I think, “cut to where?”

      …then again, I still want to see what happens when the Browns meet Sierra…

  101. Asurasur

    Of all the fountains, in all the university, in all the world, they walk into mine…

  102. Wilkie

    SHOWdown and SHOWalter Fountain hehehehe

  103. ScardyG

    Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

  104. razama

    “It’s not like you’re godlike. They know you are a normal person with faults and have reasonable expectations for our relationship.” Is what Joyce was going to say.

  105. nothri

    Panel 3 briefly made me think those two were gonna kiss on accident. Which I suspect would not do a thing to diffuse this situation.

  106. Lavaticmay

    And on that day, Joyce received a grim reminder. That her family lived in fear of the godless.

  107. tahrey

    $50? I’m broke and I already chipped in for the book 2 kickstarter, doesn’t that count for anything?

    Also the sky has gone a weird colour and everything’s tinged red, have they suddenly gone to hell?

  108. Roborat

    So do we all owe you $50 each, or do we all chip in to make it $50?

  109. rachel

    ahhhhh the lighting in this one, it hurts, it huuuuuurts

  110. LiveWire

    «snap»«snap»«snap»«snap» duh-dum, duh-dum, duh-duh-duh-duuuh-dum…
    You rooting Sharks or Jets?

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