161

Grim
Posted on October 12, 2019 by David M Willis

161 thoughts on “Grim”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    sorry, that’s an exclusive terrible lizbian power

    1. Nono

      Robin’s not invisible, and Dina’s not terrible.

      1. King Daniel

        “Dinosaur” is ancient Greek for “terrible lizard” (from deinosauros) – “terrible” here used in the older sense of something that inspires terror.

        1. MaddMaxx

          Dina inspires pure joy, I dunno what you mean by terrible

        2. Clif

          A terribly large amount of joy.

        3. 3oranges

          To someone chasing their daughter through the woods, unaware of the Dina to the side, her ambush could inspire terror.

        4. Ana Chronistic

          Need I remind you of alt-text: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/safe-2/

        5. LeslieBean4shizzle

          You know, it’s weird who remembers what.
          Maybe it’s because I love me some ship names, but I knew what you meant (and remember that Willis himself dubbed them thus).
          On the other hand, I forget plot points from like a month ago and need reminders half the time.

        6. maarvarq

          I yet again regret that this comment system doesn’t allow one to upvote comments. Have 1000 unofficial ones!

        7. AbelUndercity

          Dina suddenly appearing next to me could create a brief moment of terror, I’m not going to lie.

        8. Delicious Taffy

          Oh no, a 43kg, 108cm teenager with no eyelids! Run for your life?

        9. begbert2

          You must be one of those relaxed people. For the rest of us anyone materializing out of nowhere at our elbow and unexpectedly saying something will cause all our nerves to suddenly wake up.

          And also I’m 185 cm, so when I turn to look at her you know what I’m going to see? That hat glaring up at me promising a tooth-filled death!

        10. Needfuldoer

          She sparks joy, so she’s a keeper?

          Sounds about right.

        11. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

          They’re also pretty terrible at being lizards, though. No self-reptile would ever walk around all covered in luxurious feathers.

        12. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

          Shit, that was supposed to be “self-respecting reptile”. I suppose I too am terrible at lizarding.

        13. Geneseepaws

          Could be doing Cos-Play, could be doing Drag. Really I think you are maligning thunderlizards. Look at Henry the Eighth, in the Holbein painting, the guy is covered in gold-set garnets and rubies. His shirt has been slashed so that he can wear hundreds of buttons. Not very many people laughed at Henry,… Its good to be the King.

    2. Lexi

      Pretty sure he means because bisexuality “doesn’t exist”.

      1. LeslieBean4shizzle

        That’s “erasure” not invisibility.
        ….
        Although, speaking of super powers… that would be a really interesting super villain or antihero gimmick.

        1. Banzo

          It’s a super common bi joke. LIKE SUPER common. Because of the erasure, we are invisible.

  2. Doctor_Who

    Danny, if you declare yourself Pan you get to either be an awesome goat god who parties all day, or fly and fight pirates with Tinkerbell.

    1. tim gueguen

      Or he ends up continually moving from one side of the room to the other.

    2. Miri

      Or full of sizzling hot sausages?

      1. Schpoonman

        Ooh, I could go for a sausage.

        1. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

          sausage party please

    3. Foxhack

      What if he’s got a gluten allergy or celiac disease?

    4. abysswatcher1993

      Or he becomes a daemon to a British girl that has to fight against the Church and God.

  3. timemonkey

    Well, someone’s eating a shoe today.

    1. Doctor_Who

      GoblinScribe, I bet if you boil it long enough it’ll be like really tough steak.

      Unless we’re talking a rubber and plastic type shoe. Then it’ll be like steak from Applebees.

      1. Chris Phoenix

        Eat Arby’s.

        1. Ntrovert60

          Because, like a men’s locker room, they has the meats…

      2. Marsh Maryrose

        Charlie Chaplin has some serving suggestions.

    2. ValdVin

      My offer of licorice as a substitute stands.

      1. Sunny

        I’ll eat the liquorice. Someone else can have the shoe. Liquorice is delicious.

        1. StClair

          Personally, I’d rather have the shoe.

    3. sdrainbow

      What book was it where the one guy kept saying “If you tell a joke and make someone laugh, I’ll eat my boots?” and then at the very end IT HAPPENED and he bit a chunk out of his boot? Was it Magic Kingdom for Sale-Sold!?

      1. Azhrei Vep

        I don’t remember that from Magic Kingdom, but it might have been one of the later books in the series. I can think of a couple of characters who’d do that.

      2. He Who Abides

        It was the . . . I want to say second . . . book of the Lost Years of Merlin novels. One of Merlin’s companions while he was seeking the Seven Signs of magic was a dour man who always wanted to be a jester but could never make anyone laugh, hence the bet of eating his boot if he could make anyone so much as chuckle. This is accomplished when the failed jester sings a funeral dirge for Merlin when it appears to be likely to eat him in its sleep, causing the dragon to chuckle.

        1. sdrainbow

          oh you’re right! I don’t remember which one of the books it was either but it was 100% Lost Years of Merlin. Good catch!

        2. He Who Abides

          No problem. I loved those books as a kid, to the extent that my copies were falling apart from over-reading.

  4. Lily

    Danny is a big mood. I feel ya Danny.

  5. MaddMaxx

    It’s your hat, man. The hat’s pansexual. That’s why they can see you.

    1. Deathjavu

      Joyce only remembers Danny as his hat, so there’s some evidence for this theory.

  6. Stephen Bierce

    You could have said ‘No’
    You could have said ‘Well I just can’t’
    Whoa! we were off the wall    …

    1. Stephen Bierce

      This strip was sponsored by McDonald’s in either Mainland China or Taiwan, I can’t tell which. They want you to download the mobile app.

      1. Jess

        I can and will say ‘no’ to that!

        1. JetstreamGW

          You think that.

  7. Danielle

    danny is kind of a dumbass

    1. DailyBrad

      Sure, if you think he literally believes this to be how bi-erasure works. On account of he’s making a joke, though, not so much.

      1. Miri

        I thought he was still a bit woozy from the head injury and just saying random words; that makes more sense!

    2. Zatar

      There are many ways Danny is a dumbass. Making a really good joke is not one of them.

    3. Bagge

      He is not, however, a very good smartass, despite him trying.

  8. Romanticide

    Well happy coming out day to you I guess (Here is still friday, 11:16 to be exact)

  9. Meagan

    This is making me grin so much. Did he just come out to Dorothy with this line? I am so happy right now.

    1. Nono

      He already did, earlier, the day of Joyce’s party.

      1. King Daniel

        It’s a great line to use for that nevertheless, though.

    2. DailyBrad

      Nah, they’ve talked about it some before, but I don’t recall if he was using that label yet. It’s when they discussed the Kinsey Scale a little.

    3. SuperZero

      She’s the one who told him.

  10. not someone else

    No, no he couldn’t. He just came out like a week ago, it takes at least a month to get out of the constant jokes and references phase.

    1. SuperZero

      …was I meant to stop after a month?

      1. Smartalec105

        Yeah, puns are a key part of being bisexual because they can be taken both ways.

        1. Geneseepaws

          You made me laugh. Not giving you a Ten, but I’ll give you an eight for the joke, with a one point five for catching me off guard, …so 9.5 total for that comment.

        2. Wizard

          Please consider yourself upvoted.

        3. Rosstifer

          Boom! Best bi joke in the comments so far.

        4. JBento

          And today’s +1 Internet goes to…

          Smartalec105!!!!

          Also, good screenname-to-comment synergy.

        5. DarkoNeko

          glorious

        6. Banzo

          *standing ovation*

        7. StClair

          oh, very nice.

        8. Svata

          Perfection.

  11. p!enapple

    Friend of mine went to a lgbtq+ rally, and saw pride/promotions for everything except being bi. She asked, and was told ppl who were bi just hadn’t decided what they were yet, and there wasn’t any reason to promote it. She nodded and said, yes, we get that discriminatory attitude most of the time.

    1. PHNX

      That sort of treatment is exactly the reason I had to divorce myself from the Gay and Lesbian community back in the 90’s. That very dismissive and exclusionary attitude toward bisexuals was everywhere, back then, and a lot less subtle.

      1. He Who Abides

        My condolences. If it makes you feel better, we aces are largely in the same boat most of the time. People seem to believe that you’re not so much unable to feel sexually attracted to people as you are unable to get any.

        1. Elisto

          Or they think you’re really just straight and trying to take “resources” from the LGBT community. (What “resources”? Who knows.)

        2. He Who Abides

          That . . . sounds like bullshit. Total bullshit.

        3. MatthewTheLucky

          Pamphlets. Delicious pamphlets.

        4. Seregiel

          If your genitals don’t collide with frequency, you can’t be romantically involved… because everything in a relationship for sexually active people doesn’t count until you’re in the sheets?. I always wondered how some of those view points would hold up in standard heteronormative relationships. I mean – nobility could get divorce if they never consummated in the Middle Ages but that was an acknowledged business transaction. Us Earthers have hang ups.

        5. plasticwrap

          For some people, the understanding of attraction is tied up in the whole sex thing, especially if they’re religious, because the act 1) creates life 2) is usually a lot of fun and 3) many of us become consumed by the need to touch and be touched by that special someone, but just like sex doesn’t have to revolve around the orgasm, that affection doesn’t have to involve genitals/intercourse.
          If there’s anyone who experiences attraction but is actually repulsed by human contact, that’s pretty unusual and I’m guessing more often than not related to something like autism or a history of abuse.

    2. Miri

      I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for 14.5 years. It’s mainly good and I’m happy. This doesn’t change a fundamental fact about how my brain processes attraction/people.

      If they’re going to take that attitude, surely they should drop the “b” and let people know that their inclusionary space isn’t?

    3. Ron

      I did not know bisexuals had it this bad. I just assumed that if a community called itself lgBt, they would include the B. I mean it’s right there. I learned something from the comments today 🙂

    4. Seregiel

      That’s… a lot meaner than the reason I was gave. I was told having the option to pass “normal” meant I was less at risk than those who couldn’t be invisible. I mean, the idea you have to hide part of yourself is still gross, but it kind of made sense with the huge amount of LG homeless youth in the area and Salvation Army being the major at risk help that they were mentally prioritizing those who couldn’t lie effectively to baby Jesus. (Not defending at all just adding to the diversity of discrimination). This is how people fall through cracks.

    5. Jago

      There really are people that went far enough to loop back around to stupid.”Deciding” sexuality. Amazing.

  12. Tacos

    It’s the hat yo. It gives you +100 to visibility.

    1. Keulen

      He looks better with that hat on anyway.

  13. Sunny

    Did Dotty always have a haircut like that? It kinda looks bigger than I recalled.

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      Dotty was recently at the stage where she gave up showering often enough. While it’s possible to do reading while receiving a haircut, the travel time to the salon and back would cut into studying time. Thus, Dotty’s hair is getting longer and poofier.

    2. Miri

      Is she still neglecting self-care? That could mean she’s overdue a haircut.

      Tip: if you have long, type 2 curly (possibly 3a as well) hair and need a trim, centre-part it, pulling each half forwards in front of your shoulders. Pull it straight in front of you, keeping the tension as even as you can, then put a hair elastic about 5mm further up than you want to trim it to. Cut across below the hair elastic in as straight a line as you can manage. Tidy up if necessary. Voila: your hair is longer in the back, in an evenly graded manner that should give it decent shape, and has been trimmed to the degree you.want.

      Useful if you have a bit of a hair dresser phobia because of the number of times you were told they were just going to cut off 2″ and removed 6″ instead when you were a child, or are short on time/lazy.

      I wouldn’t risk this if I had dead-straight hair (or straightened it) but it works well for me, and I used this method to give my almost-5 year old her first haircut last month and she was happy. (There are YouTube tutorials where people do similar but above their heads rather than below, to get a layered effect too, but layers plus perms-plaited hair irritate me so this works better for my purposes.)

  14. Jess

    “something something ace solidarity”

    1. Dakhran

      Hey, that’s right, our week’s coming up soon!

      1. He Who Abides

        We have a week? Why didn’t the union tell me?

    2. Regalli

      Ssh, if we talk too loud they might catch onto our great bi-ace train heist!

      … Crap.

  15. Agemegos

    What is this place? It looks like a waiting-room.

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      It’s pretty clearly a corridor in what I’m guessing is a classroom building? The black and white checkered floor is from an earlier era — 70s maybe?

      And the external wiring for the fire alarm is a dead giveaway that the fire alarm itself is a retrofit. The last time this building was remodeled was before fire alarms were part of the routine planning process.

  16. Zatar

    Don’t discourage him Dorothy that was a really good joke.

  17. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    . . . . I do not understand Danny’s comment about invisibility here.

    1. Reltzik

      IKR? What’s this invisibility business? He’s supposed to be listening to Erasure singing about wanting a little respect.

      1. UniqueSnowflake2

        He’s referring to bisexual Erasure, which means that Andy Bell is gay while Vince Clarke is straight.

    2. Lexi

      The joke is bi-erasure, and the idea that bisexuality doesn’t really exist. Popular both amongst straight and LGBT communities!

      1. Azhrei Vep

        Which I have also seen referred to as Bi Invisibility, which just makes it work even better.

      2. Reltzik

        Yeah, it’s even a problem in the LGT community.

        …. or maybe that’s just the LG community?

        …. I shouldn’t be making jokes about this, should I?

    3. Shane Wegner

      “I’m bi! Bi I say! I like both!” “No, you’re not, that’s not a thing.” “Bi! Me! Now!” “It’s just phase, it’ll pass.” “You know that musical, Bi Bi Birdie? That’s me!” “You’re in college, everyone experiments.” “BiiiIiiIiiiii!” “Look just pick one or the other.”

      There’s a meaner flavor I hear from my bi pals that goes like “Bah, we actual LGBTQ people have no sympathy or solidarity for bi, the fun, recreational flavor, unlike the rest of us who face actual problems. You don’t belong at this Pride event.”

      1. Inahc

        When I got to university I overheard some girls bongoing about how much the bicurious suck. I buried that shit hard and haven’t gotten past kissing a girl since high school.

        1. Seregiel

          Wonder if they confused bisexuality with faux sexuality. Which IS a thing shitty people do for attention and sucks as a bi/pan person who ends up with someone who doesn’t have feelings but just wants to use you for attention or a test subject. —> hates bisexual erasure but also people who used my pan as an attention status from their actual desired object.

        2. Leorale

          Kissing somebody you don’t actually like is shitty behaviour, whether you’re smooching a dude to make another dude jealous, or smooching a lady to attract a dude, or etc.
          Don’t kiss somebody you don’t actually want to kiss.
          But, kissing somebody because you might like them and want to find out, that seems legit! Just be very clear with them that this is what you’re doing.
          Thank you for coming to my bi talk.

        3. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

          I think the case presented was kissing someone just to find out if you like kissing someone of their gender or sex. I guess that falls under the first category? It seems like it might be okay to do for fun if you’re up front about that (it’s certainly inconsiderate/shitty if you’re just taking advantage of their feelings for you), but if this “experiment” isn’t really predicated on any prior romantic/sexual attraction, it doesn’t seem likely that you’ll suddenly discover you have feelings for them via a kiss.

          Also you shouldn’t kiss someone because they like you and you think it’d be convenient if you liked them back but I guess that applies to attraction to any gender or sex, and I guess also I’m basically thinking of Joyce and Becky…

        4. Seregiel

          Like… I’m mostly agreeing with you and just explaining why that overheard conversation might not have been bi bashing directly but legitimate sour grapes due to being used? But also of the opinion using people as test subjects is still a lot of false messaging unless you do as snow mouse said.

  18. JA

    So who else thought Danny was leaning against the wall at an extreme angle, building up his neck muscles, before they noticed the bench he’s sitting on, leaning way back?

    1. Jago

      Yes.

    2. Cattleprod

      Yep, almost like the bench is better at being invisible than Danny is.

  19. Foxhack

    So the funny thing about living in Mexico is that:

    A: Bisexuals don’t exist, you’re either gay or not;
    B: Not a single person who I’ve come out to has EVER believed I was bisexual. None. My sisters still don’t believe me, my mom only told me that if I ever brought a dude home she’d [[ redacted ]], I never got to tell my brother but he was Christian so he’d probably condemn me to hell or something.

    I had a point, but I already forgot it

    1. Seregiel

      So ignorant question – I thought some localized communities in Mexico had a third gender or is this more in select indigenous populations? Would this sort of thing fall under that third umbrella of “other” that means a lot of things as a catch all for more than the dichotomy? Stupid comparison but some cultures don’t have distinct words for blue and green if I remember correctly because it’s considered tones of the same color like crimson and burgundy would for red. Not great because Spanish does have those words, but curious if that background might be part of the disbelief rather than ingrained hate?

      1. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

        I have no personal experience, nor am I from Mexico, but I’ve read about the third gender in an introductory anthropology course, and I seem to recall that it’s a Native American thing. So probably select indigenous populations.

        1. Seregiel

          It is a Native American thing too. And Thai. And some Polynesian. Hence why I was asking if it got assimilated into general population at all. It isn’t a singular occurance. And two spirited is a really odd thing in NA because many tribes that used to embrace it now frown against it after our horrid assimilation programs.

      2. Romanticide

        Hi! a certain region of Oaxaca among the zapotecas has Muxe which are considered a third gender. It is quite a localized place and colonilism did try their worse at erasing most gender expresions that existed before the arrival of the spanish so unfortunately the existence of Muxes are a blip on the radar of how gender expresion is thought by the majority of Mexico. I don’t think it does color how bisexuality is thought on the country, for good or for bad 🙁

        1. Seregiel

          Oh! Thank you!

  20. Moon

    Watch me say this everyday for the rest of my life (or until bi erasure as much of a thing anymore)

    1. Moon

      *is not as

  21. TrueVCU

    Unfortunately the cloak of invisibility is very fickle

  22. Bagge

    Stop bothering your exes for drama, Dorothy. Go and enoy your undisturbed productivity.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      And I doubt having a social life disturbs productivity. She is just a workaholic.

  23. abysswatcher1993

    Sorry Danny, but bisexual visibility has become quite common thanks to Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook and other social media. So many bisexual flag mermaids and many characters with bi pride shirts.

    1. Bagge

      …mermaids?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        I’m also confused. I thought Mermaids was some sort of charity group created to support trans kids.

    2. JBento

      I’ll be honest, “bisexual flag mermaids” sounds like a band name.

  24. Bagge

    also, the bisexuality invisibility filter can’t really be expected to work on the person who told YOU about what bisexuality is in the first place, now can it, Danny?

  25. Alanari

    I actually had to look up what is bothering Danny right now. And why he brought up bisexuality.
    Looks like I’m losing track of the details of the storylines

  26. Ophidiophile

    Danny boy, you need to take lessons from Dina. Assuming you can find her.

  27. Seregiel

    I am proud of this joke, but be happy someone acknowledges your place on the physical attraction spectrum. It’s a lot less lonely that way – thought I was a really picky bi until I had more words. Now I realize demi pan. Similarly: Ace and demi being lesser because libido is somehow conflated to romantic interest. Hello Ace Bi romantics! In reverse: Aro. Hi, aromantics!

    1. He Who Abides

      Hello from someone who is ace demiromantic.

      And yeah, libido =/= romantic interest at all. If the missus and I had high enough libidos to perform hanky panky as a replacement for cuddling, we’d never leave the apartment.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        “As a replacement for cuddling” ???

        Might as well say “If we started eating candy corn as a replacement for crab legs”.

        1. Seregiel

          Keep your bug limbs and dried corn syrup to yourself. *makes face*

        2. JBento

          Heya – I talked to my mini-painting friends, and they say they charge €1 per mini, increasing to €10 for larger/more detailed miniatures and €25 for the really large or extremely detailed ones, like the really intricate dragons and stuff.

        3. Delicious Taffy

          That’s pretty close to what I’ve been estimating. Thanks for checking, I appreciate!

        4. He Who Abides

          Oh yes, Taffy, cuddling is infinitely superior to rutting like animals. You are right (provided that was your point in the first place).

    2. Sol Karas

      Technically asexuality has nothing to do with your libido, just your sexual attraction. You can be heterosexual with a low or nonexistant libido, and you can be asexual with a high libido (source: myself. it sucks).

      1. JBento

        I hope this doesn’t come off as nosy/rude and you obviously don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I’m having trouble understanding how “asexual with high libido” works (besides, apparently, poorly). Is it a matter of your mind having no interest is sex but your body wanting it?

        1. Zee

          How I’ve heard it described is, think of sexual attraction and libido as two separate things. Libido is just the presence of arousal itself, while sexual attraction is wanting to have sex with someone in particular who arouses you. So it’s quite possible to have the presence of arousal without being particularly attracted to anyone.

        2. Sol Karas

          Basically I have no sexual attraction to anyone (nor romantic attraction, but that’s another story lol) but my body is like “hey, you should like, fuck.”
          “Okay, who? … hello? Body? Who??? WHAT DO YOU WANT????”

          It’s about as annoying as it sounds.

        3. He Who Abides

          I’m genuinely sorry to hear that.

        4. Sol Karas

          Eh I’m used to it. It’s gotten actually better since I was able to put a name to it. Before I thought I was just broken, although it wasn’t until I learned that someone who’s ace can have a libido that I went “Oh, wait… that me! o:”

          And I mean, there’s a wide variety of sex toys available to us now, so it’s not too bad lmao (sorry for the potential TMI lol)

        5. He Who Abides

          Hey, if you’re comfortable sharing, that makes it the right amount of information.

        6. StClair

          “You should get some.”
          “Okay, with who?”
          “Iunno, that’s your problem.”

          :p

        7. JBento

          Thanks to you both.

        8. Sol Karas

          🙂 Happy to help.

        9. Seregiel

          Hi. This is actually me (libido divorced from attraction to a person) and I was making a point of reductionism not divorcing libido from it entirely. For me it’s that there isn’t an attraction to a physical form (man/woman/person) but can experience arousal due to circumstances,, fetishes, kinks, personality types. It’s not as frustrating for me because I understand what makes a person attractive in a physical sense – it’s just not what triggers a response.

        10. JBento

          Thanks.

      2. Seregiel

        I know this? My point was the reductionism of thought that occurs, not to divorce it. I’m actually in this boat.

  28. Jago

    I guess there was no way he woulda given a straight answer, huh.

    1. Leorale

      Hey-o!

    2. Wizard

      Push the red button.

      1. Jago

        I don’t like links of which I don’t know what they do, so, no.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Looks like it’s a minimally-furnished web page with a big red button. Pressing the button causes an audio file of a rimshot to play.

  29. Rabisch

    Good one Danny.

  30. Solenoid

    Oh, Danny boy, the salt… the salt is showing

  31. Borg

    You could try being ace instead. That might work.

    1. He Who Abides

      I asked Morbo. He says “SEXUALITY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!”.

  32. ADLegend21

    Damn that’s the best bisexual joke I’ve ever heard, I’m IRL cackling

  33. Alan in DC

    And just like real college students, everybody ignores getting their hair trimmed a full 8 to 10 weeks into freshman first semester.

    Dorothy, you’re turning into an English Sheepdog.

  34. BBCC

    Sorry, Danny, budget cuts mean it takes longer to process the superpower subscriptions than normal. Should be in the mail in about 8-10 weeks.

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