166

Hands
Posted on May 3, 2024 by David M Willis
The Dumbing of Age Book 13 Kickstarter is in its final five days!  It ends Tuesday night at 11:45pm Eastern, and as of this writing we're under $2000 from unlocking the twelfth character magnet!  We're... probably gonna make it?  Seems likely!  Now, the bonus thirteenth magnet unlocked at $55K, we'll see.  That might be cutting it closer. Anyway, yo, My Peer Group’s Smoochy Chart Is Basically Now An Ouroboros will collect “Year Thirteen,” spanning the four storylines that start on August 22, 2022, and complete on August 15, 2023. This includes new commentary, behind-the-scenes artwork, and new character designs into a 218-page tome with luxurious glossy paper all bound up into a sturdy, full-color presentation.   It's fancy!   Includes new commentary, behind-the-scenes artwork, and new character designs gathered into a hefty tome with luxurious glossy paper all bound up into a sturdy, full-color presentation.  There’s 24 new Patreon bonus strips collected!  There's rejected strips!  There's... laundry! Ends Tuesday night!  Pledge today.

166 thoughts on “Hands”

  1. NGPZ

    ???

    *plays “Unforgetting” by Devin Church on hacked muzak*

  2. Ana Chronistic

    “…nuts”

    ?

    1. Clif

      We don’t actually know where those hands are.

      But we can have fun guessing.

      1. Plaaaaaa

        But the position of the arm is clearly below the waist in the last panel

        1. Hydrohead

          agreed

        2. Rook

          And she smiling too like she enjoying something…….

      2. Warcodered

        considering the two things she’s not wearing, there’s a pretty good guess.

  3. quark

    shoulders knees and toes?

    1. quark

      wait. its head not hands. im a fool and a charlatan

      1. True Survivor

        Well I liked it regardless.

      2. GholaHalleck

        Can you *imagine* the comments when she asks for that though?

        1. Byron Orpheus

          When she asks for Joe to giver her shoulders? I just assumed that Joe gave good shoulder.

      3. David DeLaney

        *plays Nails Hair Hips Heels on the hacked Muzak*
        (NSFW)

        1. David DeLaney

          how long does it take you to notice
          they’re ALL in heels

      4. Mark

        Nose and toes the same way goes?

    2. Jamie

      hand bone connected to the?

      1. Agemegos

        Bone bone.

    3. butting

      Jugs.

  4. shadowcell

    yep poop would definitely probably be unwelcome right about now

  5. Animedingo

    Nsfw incoming

    1. Grimey

      Slowly but surely.

    2. NGPZ

      Get ready to renew your slipshine subscription! OWO

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        I genuinely wonder how big the spike in Slipshine subscriptions is every time Willis posts one, and how many of those are 1-month only, just for the sake of getting that one story.

        And I really wonder how much bigger the spike will be the day it’s a Joyce Slipshine.

      2. Jeremiah

        That Gravatar disturbs me.

        1. NGPZ

          Awe thanks. It’s the icon of a Chinese Plants vs Zombies game where SpongeBob Peashooter Pants doesn’t even exist ;-;

        2. Chokfi

          Did… did you change it or is chinese plants vs zombies about spungebob got a weed smoking pikachu icon?

        3. NGPZ

          I changed it XD

          The game with the spongebob peashooter icon is called PVZ 2 Expedition if you interested

    3. Decidedly Orthogonal

      Pretty sure it’s Joe incoming…

  6. Nono

    Sounds like things are gonna get… HANDSY OO-HOO-HOO

    1. True Survivor

      *Applause*

    2. Emperor Norton II

      Gotta hand this one to you.

  7. Nathan

    Don’t you guys gotta go to school or work or breakfast or something.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I was going to suggest it’s the weekend, and Joyce was smart enough to plan her Drinking Adventure when it wasn’t a school night, but the storyline title suggests this is a Tuesday, so I guess not.

      1. anonymsly

        The chapter title could just be the expression,it could be Saturday. Like ‘for you this was some incredible thing, for me it was Tuesday.’ (Admittedly I just don’t see Dorothy willing to go out for dranks on a week night under any circumstances.)

        1. HueSatLight

          There’s been no timeskips, last chapter they had MWF classes. The chapter before that Walky went to church with Lucy.

        2. riley

          ohohohoho no it’s not just any ol saying. it’s a quote from one of the greatest movies of all time. Street Fighter (1994)

        3. clif

          I would have sworn I saw this in a Conan movie or something, but the Internet insists you’re right.

        4. Shaith86

          Well if it’s on the internet it must be true!

      2. Reltzik

        Drinking Adventure wasn’t planned for a school night because it wasn’t planned, period. Joyce just had a sudden epiphany about Dorothy being in a downward spiral and called an audible.

      3. Screwball

        The title is from a quote from a movie few people liked yet gets quoted quite a lot…… the live action Street Fighter movie staring Jean-Claude Van Damme…
        ” For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.”
        Meaning this was a major event in your life. For me, it was just another day…
        Yaay, I’m still learning new stuff about this planet…

    2. Jamie

      Next strip, we cut away to them in class.

      1. GholaHalleck

        Next strip, we cut to Dotty and Sarah being in class and not seeing Joyce or Joe because snuggle hooky.

        1. ian livs

          I mean, at least it isn’t nookie hooky (I kid, that’d be perfectly acceptable if they so chose)

        2. Reltzik

          Next strip, Sarah grabs a baseball bat and comes looking for a Joyce that didn’t come last night.

        3. S

          She didn’t come last night but it looks like she might come today

      2. Needfuldoer

        Hopefully they get dressed first, instead of just teleporting there.

    3. Jeremiah

      College. Varied schedules. I think this has already been explained.

      1. Doopyboop

        Agreed, like when I was in college I tried to do my best to snag classes that were later in the morning/early noon because I have issues with sleeping/waking up, so while sometimes you just have to take the 8 am class, other times your schedule will work out and you’ll get to relax until your first class is noon. Or in this case, have a bit of honky honks.

        1. RedWarlock

          Totally. I preferred evening classes to am classes.

    4. JA

      Listen, there are some things that just take priority over trivial things like classes or food.

    5. Taffy

      I know it’s confusing, but it’s only been a few minutes for them, not several days. That one’s us.

      1. HueSatLight

        I like to imagine there’s a background character that experiences time like us. They don’t tire, hunger, or age like us, but every day feels like it’s almost 3 months long. Maybe they were Agatha’s first roommate, and spending what felt like 10 years in September and part of October of her freshman year, only to have the rest of October, November, and December pass like three days drove her to drop out.

  8. MordWa

    Jeez, Joyce. Start with just a couple of fingers first- HEY YOOO!

  9. Ty34er

    I swear to God Willis

    1. NGPZ

      Which one?

    2. shrub

      Swear to me!

    3. Steamweed

      You’re swearing to the God Willis?

      Am I a part of His following now, too??

  10. jeffepp

    Hand bra engaged.

    1. David DeLaney

      error 469 – bra missing

  11. Kyoulkoa

    Paging Dr. Haends

    1. Dday

      I’m Doc
      Doc
      Doctor Hands
      And I can understands
      All your demands

  12. VolticEXE

    Good for Joyce.
    Hoping this doesn’t backfire for her or Joe.

  13. JA

    Must secure the assets. And breastets.

  14. Dday

    Note she didn’t say hand.

  15. RacingTurtle

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwww

  16. Dara

    Regarding my comment yesterday: I’m glad to see he received instructions.

    1. sultryglebe

      She is really comfortable giving instructions.

  17. Schpoonman

    Joe in panel 3: “Wait, like, my hands?” Big return of the energy of when Dorothy told Walky to touch her breasts the first time.

    Joyce’s smile widening and her hand clenching in panel 5. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    1. Needfuldoer

      It’s the subtle details that tell the story.

  18. Rabbit

    I’m gonna pretend that the comic ends here because I am unprepared for anything to happen to these two/for them to split.

    So long and thanks for all the fish

  19. shrub

    Touching a boob is not fail

    1. Needfuldoer

      Only with permission, of course.

  20. RassilonTDavros

    I gotta hand it to these two. They cute

    1. RassilonTDavros

      side note, is anyone else getting particularly RAM-hogging ads on this and/or other pages today? My browser is barely functioning.

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        It’s not just you, my browser hates loading this site.

      2. HueSatLight

        No, do you use Firefox with any script blocking addons? If you’re allowing ads so that Willis gets paid, block the ads and pay on patreon.
        Using NoScript, for this page, I only have three sites whitelisted, dumbingofage.com, hiveworkcomics.com, wordpress.com

  21. Jo_cubstar

    This is so wholesome

  22. Shakes

    This is big thing for Joe too, it’s intimacy without necessarily being sex which is something he’s had trouble getting a handle on.

    1. shrub

      I think he’s handling it quite well if Joyce’s expression and hand are anything to go by

      Giggity

  23. TrueVCU

    Ok NOW its an arousal boner

  24. Icalasari

    DAWWW!

  25. AlexaSpuds

    I love how much Joyce has grown and progressed over the last 14 years, she went from “I hope you get better soon weirdo” to “she just like me fr” in record (in universe) time, I’m so proud of her

    1. AlexaSpuds

      Also it’s gonna SUCK when she gets up and has to remove the makeup lmao

      1. Bittersweet

        People saying this always makes me feel self conscious. I’ve never once removed makeup before sleeping or after. My skin is clear. What happens when you try to take makeup off the morning after as opposed to letting it was off over several days in the shower???

        (Ftr, I only wear makeup to special events anyways these days. Don’t even wear lip gloss anymore for the most part.)

        1. Dara

          Yeah, me too – I think it must have something to do with skin type or something. Or maybe the kind of makeup.

    2. Rabid Rabbit

      Even more impressive is that it’s only been about six months for her.

  26. Freezer

    And it just hit me that this scenario is new territory (dare I say “virgin territory”) for both of them.

    Godspeed, you crazy kids!

  27. M!a

    Ok, this would be, undoubtedly, the most heartwarming, adorable porn I have ever consumed. This shit is Hallmark porn, basically.

    1. Steamweed

      _That_ is an untapped market that we very much need to be developed.

      1. David DeLaney

        every film involves a small rural town
        at christmastime
        sacs full of presents

        1. Asky

          One such Hallmark-like movie was filmed in my hometown.

          It was also extremely gay. A very lesbian Christmastime, it was.

          Given how conservative my hometown can be… I like this factoid.

  28. egon

    finally this comic is getting somewhere

  29. zee

    This was absolutely worth the brief depressive stint I will have tomorrow morning for obliterating my morning routine of reading the comic and checking the comments

    1. Amós Batista

      Hope you will have a better moment tomorrow.

      1. zee

        Yep, still worth it

  30. BBCC

    Awwww! They’re so cute!

  31. bemisawa

    This continues to be just so, so super wholesome. A+++

  32. SvenTS

    Really love both Joe’s caution and Joyce’s ability to clearly ask for exactly what she wants.

    Best way to proceed on both fronts.

  33. TheCozburger

    …across America…

    1. David DeLaney

      haaands across the bra-ter
      heaaads across the thigh

      1. Opus the Poet

        Imaginary upvote for the McCartney and Wings reference.

        1. David DeLaney

          “… McCartney was in a BAND??”

  34. Arianod

    Joyce is right. This situation clearly calls for a hands-on approach.

  35. Juanoku

    Don’t watch the mouth…

  36. Loki

    I am still scandalized by the disregard for the safety of the glasses.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Came here to say this.

    2. zee

      Right? Girl you’re gonna break your hinges!!!

      1. clif

        What kind of flimsy glasses do you guys have? I’ve woken up laying on top of mine before multiple times and they’ve been fine. They were closed, but so are Joyce’s. I *have* broken the hinges before, but that was from stepping on them. And they were extended, not closed.

  37. Taffy

    They’re both doing really well.

    1. HueSatLight

      So somewhere, someone else has to be doing bad, to even it out. [rot13] Qbebgul, ol gur ybbxf bs gur cerivrj cnary. Fhqqrayl srryvat cnatf bs ybff naq wrnybhfl fur pna’g rkcynva, fur purpxf ure cubar sbe pyhrf sebz gur avtug orsber: n frysvr bs Wblpr xvffvat ure ba gur purrx va sevraqfuvc, ohg gur ybbx ba ure bja snpr vf qvssrerag. [/rot13]

      1. Taffy

        I don’t speak German.

        1. clif

          It’s not German. Germans say nine a lot.

        2. David DeLaney

          oh, that’s right, you’re a young’un

          run it through rot13.com , which somehow still exists to-day

        3. HueSatLight

          It references a preview panel, link to tumblr got messed up though. firefox addon link works though. You just highlight, right-click, choose rot13.

      2. HueSatLight

        Guessed the preview panel wrong again.

  38. Bash

    I’m glad that Joyce is specifying what she wants and Joe isn’t supposed to just assume. That dynamic always makes me uncomfortable.

    1. Steamweed

      Same!

  39. Woop de doop

    Woah someone called it. I half called it.

  40. Acher4

    Aaaaaaaaand…

    Credits roll!

  41. Amós Batista

    let her cook

  42. Taffy

    *character wakes up at 3:00 AM to piss*
    Commenters: “Don’t they have a class to go to?”

    1. CrazyJ

      I’d be more concerned about how long Danny would have been in the shower by that point.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Not like he’s going to get any wetter.

        1. morleuca

          I mean

        2. Proxiehunter

          No but Joyce is going to.

      2. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        He is metamorphosing in to Deep One by now.

  43. PirateTawnee

    *gasp* p[re-marital Handy-Panky!

  44. ValdVin

    And that’s why artists learn drawing folds in cloth.

    Really, a great tutorial on this popped up in my Tumblr feed a week ago.

    1. Schpoonman

      Was rereading the Cubetown introduction, got to the party, and Jeph said under one particular comic he learned how to draw fabric folds for a boob joke.

      Jeph and David’s cases of Butts Disease is coterminal, it seems.

      1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

        John Kovalic may also be involved, with his unprecedented underboob on Gilly.

        http://www.dorktower.com/2024/04/22/18614/

      2. ValdVin

        Ooh, I remember Jeph’s note about that. It was time well spent.

  45. Steamweed

    “Hey, my breasts are down here.”

    Like Dorothy, like Joyce. Dorothy had to tell Walky to touch her boobs.

    1. Pseudowolf

      She may have just wanted his arms around her waist, rather than feeling her up.

  46. Van Jealous

    I get the point of this part of the arc. But the last few days panels have brought back memories of this classic Indy comic :-): http://www.lynchnet.com/angrydog/

  47. Disastroid

    SWEET CAROLINE

    1. Needfuldoer

      BAH BAH BAH

      (The Citgo sign somehow briefly appears outside the dorm window)

      1. JR

        Incredible, yes please.

  48. Amós Batista

    Even in Kickstarter banner today, Joyce and Dorothy are holding hands, but in “real” life, Joyce has chosen the huge himbo.
    Oh, unfairness…

  49. Yeet

    hell yeah joyce

  50. BlackScarabFilmZ

    I think I’ve been watching too much “The Bear” because I instinctively hear “Hands” in Jeremy Allen White’s shouting voice “HANDS!”

  51. SailorCakes

    Whatever Joe is holding onto is nice enough to make her fingers curl up which is a win 😉

    1. Amós Batista

      Her biggest smile.

      1. SailorCakes

        It’s also surprising at how calm Joe looks. I think this is so good for the both of them ?

  52. Mturtle7

    *George Takei voice* OHHHHH MY!

  53. Plonker

    I see Willis subscribe to the theory that female hormonal contraceptives affect female sexual behavior and choices.

    In a comic strip blink of an eye, Joyce went from chaste virginal non-consumer of birth control pills, to full-on hussy, exploring lesbianism and sex with appliances, eventually jumping in bed with the biggest manwhore on campus.

    Willis must have thought he could sneak his right-wing, red pilled, incel propaganda without any of us noticing before he rolled out the heavy anti-abortion guns, but we are, or at least, I am, on to him!

    Just you wait, in another five years, we’ll no doubt see how Joyce’s pills fail to work properly and her falling pregnant. Then over a year or two of strips, we’ll see Joe and Jennifer teaming up to convince her to have an abortion, how he’d love to have kids with her, but it’s “too soon” and “they’re still in college”, with her eventually cracking and agreeing.

    Bit more back-and-forth were other friends try to dissuade her over the following year, but in about 8-9 years we’ll see her go to Planned Parenthood, with Joe accompanying her to ensure she don’t change her mind, last moment. She has the abortion, but, surprise surprise, something goes horribly wrong.

    Joe, who only stucks around long enough to confirm that the “clump of cells” is definitely out of her, tells her “it’s not you, it’s me”, dumps her, and leaves. On his way out, the receptionist hits on him, and we have a little 6 month sub-plot of him and her finding a secluded place where he can explore his newfound freedom.

    While that’s happening, Joyce starts bleeding and it just won’t stop, she’s taken in an ambulance to the nearest hospital, and over the next two years, we follow her life being saved at the cost of her ability to ever have children, her medical recovery, and her visiting friends supporting her and vowing revenge on Joe, who is their designated scapegoat for everything.

    You’ll see. Or it could be those tasty mushrooms I found and ate.

    1. Adept

      Not nearly as funny as you probably thought.

      1. Bryy

        Not NEARLY.

        Especially given the Christofascists that actually do read this comic.

    2. Rocketboy1313

      This reads as somehow both lame and fucked up?
      Try-hard-y is perhaps the best way to describe it.

    3. Taffy

      D-
      Poorly worded, boring, overly reliant on shock value tropes, unfunny reference to drug use. It’s like you want to fail this class.

    4. Schpoonman

      How the fuck did this get through the filter?

    5. Renadt

      A lot of what made Joyce the way she was was because of the indoctrination she received at home. Her mother showed her the dark side of that indoctrination. Not to mention the douche that almost assaulted her using her naiveté to his advantage. This is her feeling safe with a man who actually acknowledged her as a person rather than a piece of meat.

    6. NGPZ

      Awe that’s a cute opinion, did a YouTuber give it to you?

      For reals though, I may not be the best at reading social cues, but it looks like you just missed one yourself.

      And a big one too. ?

    7. Hof1991

      The fail mode of smart ass is dumb ass.

    8. albi frfr

      I think I read that book in middle school.

      But seriously, I don’t visit the comments section often and dunno of Plonker is a bad actor here. But I thought they were just absolutely taking the piss out of whatever-the-hell-that-was, because of the last line: “You’ll see. Or it could be those tasty mushrooms I found and ate.”

  54. DashWallkick

    Who knows what we’ll see when we cut back here but I like Joyce shedding her puritan shame. It really is okay to have desire and seek it. There’s no Hell which means it’s okay to take things you want. And Joe is doing perfectly handling this.

  55. IntangibleMatter

    Alt text: they better be jazz hands

    1. David DeLaney

      vowel shift

  56. Adept

    I like this new Joyce. She knows what she wants, and is successfully communicating it as well.

  57. kaitou

    “Jazz hands”? Close; wrong vowel.

    1. vjlobel

      spit out my beverage at this one. Well done.

  58. Nothri

    Joyce is that one player in an xp based RPG LARP who forgets to allocate experience to her character for like 10 sessions and then spends like a thousand character points to level up her skills to become an expert overnight….and I guess in this analogy she’s maxed out the skill Foreplay.

  59. Alan in DC

    I should be enjoying today’s strip like everyone else… instead Im obsessing over how enormous Joyce’s head would be if she cut off her hair.

    Yeah she’s adorable, but mentally turn off her hair for a moment, and see that those are MegaMind proportions.

    1. John Campbell

      Nah, she just has ’80s hair.

      And 90% of her head is taken up by her eyeballs, anyway.

  60. Bryy

    oh SHIT.

    OH SHIT.

    IT’S HAPPENING.

  61. albi frfr

    Skin-to-skin contact snuggling IS THE BEST, especially for contact’s sake. I’m so proud of them both.

  62. anon

    half expect sal to walk in on these two and assume they already did it and rush to shag danny lol

Leave a Reply to jeffepp Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.