158

Hands
Posted on September 14, 2012 by David M Willis

158 thoughts on “Hands”

  1. David Herbert

    She’s being overpowered by her lady boner.

    1. Yotomoe

      That sounds like the plot of many japanese hentai, but one genre at a time.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        So Joyce is going to sprout tentacles? I buy that for a dollar.

        1. Yotomoe

          with that kind of money you could buy 20 moms.

        2. Kernanator

          That’s as many as two tens. And that’s wonderful.

        3. Noel Schornhorst

          An octopussoir?

        4. Zoey

          Id buy it for a nickel……give it to her mum

        5. Liam L.

          that gravatar makes your statement completely unacceptable

        6. Zoey

          lol excuse me. I would purchase it for a nickel and respectfully deliver it to his birth giver.

    2. Tristan J

      Welp. The comments peaked. It’s all downhill from here.

      1. Tandel

        Agreed! I’ll be back Monday. *ninja vanish*

      2. Tan

        Are you suggesting that the lady boner was a premature (lady) climax?

        1. ASmellyOgre

          Yes, that’s exactly what is being said.

    3. Mkvenner

      We are well past boner stage and are already starting multiple orgasim.

      1. Effie

        I sure hope not cause that would be a horrible noise to hear during sex.
        “hehehehehehehehe”
        /shudder

        1. GrrArg42

          Wait… but that’s what they ALL say.

        2. begbert2

          That’s what I thought too, but then somebody told me that sounds made during the first moment she sees me with my pants off don’t count as “during sex”.

        3. Kaci

          put this thread in a needle its awesome.

        4. LaurelRaven

          Love the avatar with that comment

        5. Rex Hondo

          As I’ve always said, laughter is good and healthy in the bedroom, so long as there is not also pointing.

  2. Gundi

    Got a Donkey Kong face there.

    1. Rognik

      It’s far scarier than her triangle smile face, or last week’s “She dumps you” face. Honestly, she just gets scarier and scarier. And I don’t know why Ethan isn’t realizing just what she’s doing, especially as she’s giggling on the phone in the middle of a hymn. (By the way, which hymn is this and how long has it been going on for?)

      1. Ralfor

        It’s not actually a hymn; it’s just a worship song. It’s called “Open the Eyes of my Heart”
        Easy to play, and fun to sing.

  3. Uniqueantique

    That about sums it up David.

  4. Lars

    Niiiiiiiiice

  5. Joe

    Joyce Brown: Moment Killer.

    1. Kernanator

      She killed her own moment. That takes talent.

      1. Sparks

        Momentocide?

  6. otusasio451

    I’m sorry, but that face…it’s…it’s friggin’ adorable, you guys.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I find it kinda creepy myself. I’d expect to see a face like that if she were hacking her way through my door with an axe.

      “Here’s Joycey!”

      1. NCP19

        Yeah…I’ll be seeing this face in my nightmares soon.

        1. Roborat

          Not me, I see Romanticide’s. I see Plasma’s too, but it changes every time I blink.

      2. Bekah

        To me, she kind of looks like so much blood has just rushed to her head that her eyeballs are about ready to pop out, and rivers of blood are about to rush forth, just like the elevator scene in the same movie that *you’re* referencing.

      3. I.care.0

        This is creepier than Faz with blue dots as eyebrows.

  7. Yotomoe

    Ethan, you can get out of this by saying “I don’t date insane chicks.” QUICK BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!!!

    1. Mkvenner

      Wouldn’t that be “I don’t date chicks, I’m gay”.

      1. Yotomoe

        How about, “I don’t date.” Then everybody’s happy.

        1. Bekah

          Until next week, when he finds out about his college’s LGBT association, meets Dumbiverse-Drew and finally pops his brown cherry. What does he tell Joyce after that?

        2. Yotomoe

          “I was just making sure he’d be good husband material for you!”

        3. Jim

          He can say “I’m going to med school eventually. I want to be a proctologist! Also a urologist! Specializing in men’s health!” And then he can show her the practice videos.

      2. Stevie Windup

        Well, then “I don’t date insane chicks” would still be technically correct, wouldn’t it?

        1. CWR

          Except that he apparently is, at this very moment.

      3. Joe

        That’s covered under “insane chicks”
        amirite, guyz?

  8. Wonder Wig

    Just saw a commercial for Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3.

    1. Yotomoe

      my condolences.

      1. Cave

        Truly a sad moment for filmography and humanity alike

    2. Mkvenner

      At least it’s not jersey shore.

      1. Wonder Wig

        When people talking about the election ask if the nation is better off than it was 4 years ago I always say, “Jersey Shore has been cancelled.”

        1. hmrc4evr

          The only thing better than hearing that Jersey Shore has been cancelled would be that it would be replaced by a new show about life in a co-ed college called Dumbing of Age.

          Or I would accept an hour long sci-fi drama series about a group of boarding school kids fighting a computer sentient computer that wants to destroy humanity called Code: Lyoko

          Hey, if I’m going to dream the improbable…

        2. Regalli

          It IS getting a sequel series that replaces the 2D animated parts with live-action… (No. Really. Look up Code Lyoko Evolution. THIS IS A THING.)

        3. Stevie Windup

          OH MY YES MUST GO FIND THIS IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        4. Roborat

          So, is a “computer sentient computer” twice as much computer as a standard sentient computer? All that aside, I see I will have to do some research, never heard of this one. At first, I thought you were talking about Negima.

        5. Hoop

          Not only is Jersey Shore dead, Arrested Development is alive.

          FUCK YEAH I’M BETTER OFF NOW THAN I WAS FOUR YEARS AGO

    3. Spazman

      The hell? They made a second one?

      Or an hour-long sci-fi drama series about a group of boarding school kids fighting off Aliens, using Martian technology, and being awesome.

  9. GenericScreenName101

    Blasphemy!!! Talking on a cell phone during mass!! How very RUDE an unchristian of her. College is having a bad influence on Joyce

    1. Ryano

      She’s not Catholic so it’s not mass.

      1. GenericScreenName101

        Same God, same Jesus, same Sunday, same Hell she is going to if she doesn’t get off the phone

    2. Anna in Indiana

      I think she could get away with it in some churches, at least during the music. I’m from the town this is set in, and if she’s going to the large Christian church that’s within easy walking distance of campus, then there are probably 500 people in there with really loud music. No one would notice except the people directly behind her…oh yeah, and Ethan…

      No Christian would suddenly be going to hell for talking on the phone during church. Sure, it’s rude, and shows disregard for the fact that you’re in God’s presence (two-ply!) but that’s not what salvation is based on.

      1. Jim

        I had a one-nighter ask me in the morning to go to church with her when I was at Purdue. I figured it was worth it. With so few females there as it is, and so small a fraction that look good, I had to thank SOMETHING for that little gift with the fake ID!

        1. PhysicsLB

          So. Much. Win.

        2. Aidenn

          Ah, that brings back memories. I still have my cup from Trashcan night a Pete’s; I use it as a flower vase. Where else can you get 54oz wells for $2?

      2. begbert2

        Actually, salvation *is* based on not talking on cell phones in church, almost to the exclusion of everything else. This just isn’t very clear in the bible because they hadn’t been invented at the time, and god’s vehemence talking about these unknown things confused people.

        1. Jackson

          As it is written: “And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but using a cellphone in church will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks a word into his cellphone in church will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.”

        2. Rognik

          That must be part of the books that got cut off, like Lillith and the birth of the first vampire. And how dinosaurs/unicorns all died in the Great Flood.

  10. Yotomoe

    I’m just trying to wrap my mind around what position Sierra is standing in

    1. GrrArg42

      The “Hallel-ky Pokey”! Put your left hand, take your left hand out..

      1. Yotomoe

        You put your left hand in and you show that your devout.
        You do the Hallelky Pokey as you kneel down on the ground
        That’s what it’s all about.

        1. begbert2

          I feel somehow let down at a cosmic level by the fact ‘ground’ and ‘about’ don’t rhyme.

        2. Roborat

          Depends on the accent.

        3. Yotomoe

          Well neither do about and around. I was following the rhyme scheem.

  11. Effie

    I’m just imagining Mary in the background in a constant state of harumphing at Joyce.

    1. Yotomoe

      Mary is perpetually harumphed. Sarah is is a friggin clown comparitively.

      1. Effie

        Mary has reached harumph nirvana

      2. ryan

        now i want to see a photoshop of today’s joyce as a clown.

        1. thomas0comer

          Why so serious?

    2. Rognik

      Didn’t she go off in a huff to find a more aggressive church? I’d be surprised if she returned to this one, which Joyce and co like so much.

  12. Think0028

    MAN it’s weird seeing Joyce in two different comics with two entirely different backstories for her.

    1. GrrArg42

      Joyce standing in the house of the lord: he’s like “double-ply”.
      Joyce in the same room as Jesus: who’s the guy with the sash?

      Oh Joyce.

    2. John

      Yeah. Seeing post-IW! Joyce again makes me kind of sad for this one. Yeah, IW! Joyce lived through war and death and sometimes resurrection of her friends and enemies and frenemies, but she grew up. It’s kind of painful seeing this Joyce rewound to where she was before all of that. But I guess that means we get to watch her grow up again.

      On a completely different topic, I notice that Joyce’s friend there isn’t in church.

      1. GrrArg42

        DUN DUN DUNNN!

        1. Blob Marley

          Sometimes Gravatars are perfect. In this case, Elan gets an A+

        2. GrrArg42

          Thanks!!

      2. Shazam

        I’m going to assume her church has a later service or an evening service for her to attend. Becky’s at a Christian college right? They probably have their own church (random assumptions from a Brit)

        1. Rognik

          Probably this. When I went to a private school, we had chapel every day before school. Except on Friday, where we had actual class time for Chapel. Thus, the school MIGHT not have chapel on Sunday, because they’ve shown penance every day, but I can’t say for certain. I changed schools before I had to stay in the dorms, but they might have had chapel Sunday morning.

    3. dethtoll

      not even two backstories, just the sheer CONTRAST of them is breathtaking.

  13. AliaPie

    So cuteeeee aaaaaa

  14. Godly

    I fell like if Joyce is sad when she finds out about Ethan, Becky will be angry and may or may not yell at him. Anyone else agree?

    1. Yotomoe

      I’m just imagining Becky yelling across the entire state so loudly that Ethan can hear and feel ashamed.

      1. Godly

        Yes. I also have a strange want for Becky to punch Ethan. Ooh, or have Amber block the punch, then get mad at Ethan and chew him out.

        Also, for some reason I feel like Becky is anti-gay. (Note: I haven’t read Roomies-J&W. Only SP and DOA, so I’m not certain. *sigh*)

        1. Wack'd

          Becky, for what it’s worth, is fairly on Joyce’s level in Joyce and Walky!, and both at this point are fairly grown up and mature about their points of view. Walkyverse!Becky doesn’t strike me as a homophobe.

        2. Godly

          Ah. Thanks for the heads-up. I need to get around to reading those. Whatever the case, Ethan is at least going to get yelled at by someone by the end of this.

        3. Wack'd

          Well, I mean, keep in mind that DOA!Becky flipped her shit when she found out Joyce dated a Jew. Walkyverse!Becky being mature and accepting isn’t likely to come into play here.

        4. Godly

          Ah. Then it could go either way. I blame Willis and his darn alternate realities making us look at characters differently. DAAAMN YOU WILLIS

  15. petsinwinter

    My reaction too, joyce. but for different reasons

  16. Ebonsaber

    Gotta admit, Joyce’s joygasm face made me giggle…

  17. Kafloobop

    …….That last panel is legitimately terrifying.

    1. Resne

      It’s the same face shippers make.

      1. vlademir1

        That’s what we refer to as a “squee”.

  18. Plasma Mongoose

    Poor Joyce, Ethan’s cooties have invaded her body and messed with her brain.

    1. Kernanator

      She is getting a contact high. She is seeing lots of Joyce and Ethan babies.

      1. Jackson

        Y’know, I can see Joyce referring to things she likes as “totally babies.”

  19. C.

    Becky’s roommate doesn’t have a tag. Who is she?

    1. GrrArg42

      Don’t know, but I bet Joe “has a pool going”.

    2. Raen

      Honestly, my first thought was that she was supposed to be Hot Dog Water – of course, then she’d have a broach.

  20. NinjaRoni92

    is it bad that I know what song is going on in the bockground?

    1. LauraS

      Nope. It’s a good hymn.

    2. Bill M.

      No, not when they’re in the chorus where they’re singing the title, then repeating it, sandwiching the word Lord in there. Also, since this is the third song of the service, they should start going to the slower tempo songs, to go from the jump-jive-and-wail mood to a more prayerful mood.

  21. Kernanator

    “I’m holding hands! With a BOY! I’M GONNA HAVE HIS BABIES!!!”

    1. Yotomoe

      Careful with all that unprotected hand-holding. Wear a glove.

      1. Phil

        You know what they say: no glove, no love.

  22. Nym

    Aw, Joyce. From cute to creepy in just four panels.

  23. Audiophillie

    Oh no, this is a MUCH more distressing Friday comic.

  24. Kernanator

    Ethan, let go. This is one of the stories that ends with you dead and the girl wearing a suit of your skin.

    1. hmrc4evr

      Let’s not give Syfi (ugh) channel any more movie ideas please.

      1. Sagara S.

        It has always been, and forever shall be, SciFi. I refuse to acknowledge ‘syfy’ as a thing.

        1. Toad

          Except Polish for syphilis.

        2. vlademir1

          You know that’s pretty much OK since they refuse to acknowledge you as a fan as they continue their descent toward becoming Spike TV, just as G4 did before them.

  25. Boom

    This must’ve been what happened before… with what’s-his-face, the dude Dorothy digs. In that alternate universe.

  26. ASmellyOgre

    Man, between this and today’s questionable content, I think I’ve had more than my daily dose of creepy comedy.

  27. Spazman

    is anyone else reminded of Candace Flynn’s strange laugh when they saw the last panel?

    1. Ren

      No it’s no-….darnet yep. Crap. -_- Now i’m hearing it in the back of my mind.

    2. Historyman68

      Haha nice

    3. thomas0comer

      I had to look this up. That laugh will haunt my nightmares. What have you done to meeeeee.

    4. Andy

      Damn, you beat me to it. By, like, 14 hours or something.

    5. Mo

      MOOOOM! Phineas and Ferb are converting gay Jews!

  28. Jimmy

    Next week Mike will do something assholish (word I made up) to expose (double entendre fully intended) Ethan to Joyce. It just has to happen that way. MAKE IT SO!

  29. Jackson

    ARGH

    JOYCE

  30. Furie

    That’s it. I’ve definitely dated Joyce in real life.

  31. Dr.Z

    WOW.

    EPIC CUTENESS, achieved!

    Well played, Mr. Willis. Well played, indeed.

  32. Gneiss

    I like that Sierra is one of the tags in this comic, because her arm is slightly visible in the last panel.

    1. begbert2

      Sierra is secretly the main character of this storyline.

      1. thomas0comer

        Sierra is secretly the main character of this *webcomic.*
        Fixed it fer ya.

  33. ArkhamTexan

    And then Mike punches Joyce in her adorable face for those impure thoughts.

    The adorableness of Joyce. It is adorable.

  34. Chenrezi

    HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE
    HEE HEE HEE
    HEE HEE HEE HEE
    HEE HEE
    HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE
    HEE HEE
    HEE HEE HEE

    1. ArkhamTexan

      O_O;

    2. BD

      That’s kinda disturbing with the Ruth icon.

  35. LauraS

    Is it sad how shocked I am to see a dorm room with beds that are actually made? And neatly, too! God, I feel lazy.

    1. Marshall Erickson

      Then again, it is a webcomic.

      1. Historyman68

        And she’s a Christian. There’s a correlation, right?

        1. Matt of Steel

          Oh yes. They are a very neat people.

          I believe their motto is: “Cleanliness is next to godliness”.

        2. thelastnerd

          I think you’re confusing Christians with cats.

  36. Makkabee

    If he hadn’t been gay before, this would have done it.

  37. BD

    Eventually she’s going to run out of tall dudes on campus to hold hands with, break glasses into their faces, and hold hands with.

  38. Bill

    Well, now that she had already posted it on facebook and twitter, personal calls is all that’s left!

  39. begbert2

    Let’s see, so far Joyce has talked, flirted, used a cell phone, and started giggling like a maniac, in the middle of service. It’s surprising that the only person we’ve noticed glaring at her so far is Mary.

    In the church I was taken to, people would have been shushing her and trying to use telepathy to tell her to step out into the hall by now. (She would have merited dirty looks from the start for being a girl wearing pants -jeans!- in church from the start, but that’s a different matter.)

    1. Historyman68

      The sweatervest forgives all.

  40. Aegon01

    If I was Ethan I’d be freaking out right now. Joyce’s face in panel 4 is gonna give me nightmares.

  41. David

    Joyce is not good with this kind of thing.

  42. Ray

    Right about now Ethan should be starting to get the idea that he needs to let Joyce down easy. Whether or not that happens depends on how funny the train wreck would be if he doesn’t. Although at this point I’m not sure how the fallout will be different between doing it now and putting it off for later. It’s not like Joyce is going to try to get him into bed or something like that.

    Hell, you know what? Never mind. If she’s this worked up over holding hands, and as sex-phobic as her character stereotype typically is, she’s never going to get to a place with Ethan where him being gay even matters.

  43. Wixvhen

    Why does it feel like this is her equivalent of doing a dirty deed? And what’s her expression going to turn to when she realizes that not only is he homosexual, but jewish.

    1. Kernanator

      She already knows he’s jewish.

      1. Wixvhen

        Jewish and that he won’t convert. Better?

        1. Kernanator

          Yes.

  44. bunivasal

    Am I seeing a different face? Because I’m seeing a face that suggests Ethan just popped Joyce’s hand-cherry, and I may not sleep for a week. I’m traumatized.

  45. Harry

    Joyce…

    Joooooyce…

    Sigh…

  46. Random New Commenter

    Only premarital sex can save him from the homosexuals disease!

    *neon sarcasm font*

    1. GrrArg42

      Sarcasm font is in neon? I’ve been doing it wrong!

      PS Welcome to the commenting! <—Not neon.

  47. CleverTrousers

    Somebody’s gettin’ a lil’ sumthing later.

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