292

Harness
Posted on November 15, 2013 by David M Willis

292 thoughts on “Harness”

  1. Geminia999

    Joe died of Laughter that day

    1. Tunaro

      Right before everyone else died due to the massive hole in reality the tore open when Sarah started to giggle.

      1. Rick

        It looks like more of a snorting chortle to me.

        1. Tom Speelman

          Either way, we are DOOMED.

        2. Badeyes

          Truly the end is nigh.
          Joe with a normal grin not a lecherous one and anything resembling mirth from Sarah is a sign of the apocalypse.

        3. asmcint

          The next sign is Walky wearing a suit and tie.

        4. Thasvaddef

          http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1717

        5. Tunaro

          Different universe, don’t think it counts

          Alternatively:

          REPENT! REPENT YE SINNERS AND PRAY FOR MERCY! THE DESTROYER IS MANIFEST AND THE END IS NIGH!

        6. BlueRam

          And on that day, humanity was reminded of the pain and fear that can only be caused by….Willis.

        7. Shadow12000

          So, I haven’t read Shortpacked in quite some time and now my jaw just unhinged itself and now my mouth wont close. Please send help.

        8. djaevlenselv

          Whereupon Mike smiles at you and kindly inquires as to your mother’s wellbeing.

        9. Vash

          You mean he’s drunk?

        10. Wack'd

          Snorting Chortle is the name of my Weezer tribute band.

        11. cjg293

          Weezer Tribute Band is the name of my Paul and Storm tribute band

    2. David

      Not before turning Asian.

  2. Plasma Mongoose

    Enhance your calm Joyce, you’re freaking the normals out.

    1. Thad guy

      Who are these “normals” of which you speak?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        In theory, Sarah and Dotty.

    2. Jen Aside

      Maintain low tones! Maintain low tones!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I just hope she doesn’t resort to Murder-Death-Kills.

        1. Black Bumblebee

          Nah, Joyce has too many of those Joy-Joy good vibes from singing about Armor hotdogs

        2. LazerWulf

          And eating Taco Bell

        3. Narf

          Demolition man reference for the win 😀

    3. Cheryl

      Dem CURSE words

      1. Jen Aside

        Mebs! Mebs!

  3. Aizat

    Joyce….your attempt at cursing is adorable.

    1. Yotomoe

      And this is why she can’t Ride Sal’s bike.

      1. Tunaro

        Riley would be able to ride Sal’s bike before Joyce could.

        1. Sammie1053

          Of course. Everyone knows the number one trait of rebellious biker girls is affinity for breakfast cereal.
          …
          Aaand now I’m just picturing Dina riding a custom chopper shaped like a velociraptor.

        2. Yotomoe

          She’s riding an actual Velociraptor. She’s just making the noises.

        3. Sammie1053

          While wearing a pterodactyl-hide leather jacket.

        4. Tunaro

          Her boots? 100% genuine baby T-rex.

        5. Yotomoe

          CHOMPER, NO!

        6. James

          How dare you reference the Land before time sequels!!!!!!!

          They were pure freaking poopy!

      2. Aizat

        And she will never get to play card games.

        1. Tunaro

          Card games on bikes?

        2. Aizat

          Yes Tunaro, CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!

      3. nothri

        I dunno, maybe Sal’s gang can make Joyce their adorable mascot.

        1. Vash

          Sal is a lone wolf, from what I gather she’s not in a gang.

        2. nothri

          Well, she does frequently hang out with that deaf girl who’s name I am blanking on.

        3. Narf

          Marcy? 😉

        4. MR K

          She’s mute not deaf.

      4. Roborat

        Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?

  4. Tunaro

    Joyce’s threat is equivalent to a chihuahua growling at someone: so bad it’s absolutely adorable.

    1. Doctor_Who

      What makes it so great when tiny dogs growl at you is that they totally think they are massive wolves ready to tear your throat out. The fact that they are specifically bred to fit in bimbo-purses does not register.

      1. Yotomoe

        They’re bred to piss me off and be easy to punt. Worst evolutionary strategy.

        1. Rick

          Punting dogs is often illegal, kind sir.

        2. Tunaro

          But with chihuahuas? Oddly satisfying.

        3. Badeyes

          They’re actually deceivingly difficult to punt, squirm at the absolute worst moment. Now, Yorkies…..

        4. madd

          Yorkies are the WORST! It’s the decibel levels they are capable of achieving that drive me nuts. My sister has a pair that go mental anytime anyone comes to the door.

        5. saltchocolate

          Am I the only person thinking about Angel in Rent right now?

        6. rachel

          : ) : ) : ) now you’re not yaaaay

      2. Ancestral Hamster

        With small dogs I always thought it was “small man syndrome” and so they were overcompensating out of insecurity and feelings of inferiority.

        1. leonou

          Us vertically challenged people are NOT overcompensating.
          We’re just fed up with having to deal with taller people’s altitude sickness !

        2. madd

          The problem is owners who don’t treat them like proper dogs, thereby confusing the dog as to it’s place in the pack. They get the idea that they lead the pack and are therefore responsible for protecting the pack. Leads to all sorts of annoying behaviour, ie. yapping, marking, snapping at people who get to close to their person. Only makes it worse that some owners think this behaviour funny when it first starts because the dog is so small and cute. Not good for the dog either tend to make them aggressive or an anxious mess, sometimes a bit of both.

      3. Bill

        Speaking as a cyclist, I have found — to my dismay — that those damned little dogs seem to be genetically disposed to make up in nasty what they lack in size.  And those small teeth seem to almost always come to needle points.

    2. Tacdud2

      I read chihuahua as cthulhu and was completely confused.

      1. Tunaro

        All fear the Dark and Terrible Cthihuahulu lest he darken the skies with blood and piss all on your couch! With blood!

        1. CthulhuPanda36

          It’s true, he did it at a company party one time.

        2. DarkVeghetta

          Seems legit.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      Don’t dismiss chihuahuas so easily, years ago when I worked in door to door charity sales, a one-eyed chihuahua went beyong merely yapping and used the screen door to try and bite me in the throat, vicious little bastard.

      1. Jack Finch

        Look, that chihuahua’s got a vicious streak a mile wide, it’s a killer!

        1. Tunaro

          He’s got huge, sharp… er… He can leap about. Look at the bones!

  5. Skull025

    Whoa, simmer down Joyce. Your making it difficult to abandon the mission.

  6. Pizzathehutt

    I still ship Sarah and Joe, Its meant to be.

    1. Yotomoe

      Sarah is on top always. With a bat to make sure he knows his place.

      1. LiaHansen

        Now THAT’S a pinup idea!

        1. Pizzathehutt

          Willis! Draw it! For the good of all mankind draw it!

      2. Nono

        The bat can also be adapted for other purposes during the act.

      3. timemonkey

        I wonder if Joe’s into pegging?

        1. Yotomoe

          Like it or not, here she comes.

    2. Milosh

      It’s gonna happen. I don’t think Joe would’ve gone into such detail otherwise.

      1. saltchocolate

        Right? He said “I like women who exactly fit your description. Including the growl.” That is a ship ready to sail, if I ever saw one.

  7. Tanarin

    Oh Joyce, you adorable naive woman you. This is why we all love you.

  8. Doctor_Who

    I want to see Joyce stub her toe. It’ll be freaking precious.

    1. Aizat

      Or fall and scrape her knee.

      1. Rick

        Why would you wish for her to be hurt so?

        1. Tunaro

          After a certain point, all the emotional pain and inner turmoil just has to take a back seat to some good ol’ fashioned slapstick, ya know?
          People angstin’ over their lives can’t really beat a pie to the face in terms of entertainment value.

      2. Dara

        She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee. Her dress has got a tear….

    2. Link

      Aw, heck! This shucks so much donkey bags! Cheese and rice, who put this piece of stuff here?

      1. Yotomoe

        AH fuuuuuuuuuuuucryin’ out loud! My Mother Fridgin’ TOE!!! That hurts like a B-word!

      2. OkamiKing

        Fiddlesticks and Atheist!

        1. Doctor_Who

          Hey, I used to play bass for Fiddlesticks and Atheist.

        2. Wack'd

          Fiddlesticks and Atheist is my They Might Be Giants tribute band.

        3. Kelly

          You seem to have surprising number of tribute bands.

          … I’d listen to them all!

        4. Wack'd

          I’d Listen to Them All is the name of my Toys and Tiny Instruments tribute band.

        5. Narf

          Toys and Tiny Instruments Tribute Band is the name of my Cradle of Filth tribute band.

          Yeah.

  9. Foxhack

    Okay, this made me like Joe quite a bit.

    Granted, I know very little about his previous versions, but I liked how he reacted to the rejection. Respect instead of making fun.

    1. adinfinitumspero

      I don’t think I’m spoiling anything by saying Joe has always been cool, a little overly macho and afraid of feelings sometimes, but more or less always respectful.

      1. Wack'd

        Yes, always respectful. 😛

        1. John

          That “College Ho!” storyline was the same one where Sal threatened, literally, in so many words, to rape Danny, and this was played for laughs. (No, seriously.) Calibrated against that, Joe running around making kissy noises at college hos (yes, that was the “joke” in the title) barely even registers on the terriblometer.

          I have trouble sometimes believing that the David Willis who wrote that is the same David Willis who’s writing DoA. Maybe Roomies! Willis got abducted by aliens and replaced by a pod person infiltrator with the mission to prepare the Earth for the alien takeover by manipulating our media. If so, I, for one, welcome our new alien webcomic artists. (This might also explain his inhuman buffer.)

        2. Wack'd

          Well, “always respectful” wasn’t qualified with “insofar as anyone in Roomies! was a decent human being”, so…

        3. John

          There’s a reason I qualified mine!

        4. Wack'd

          I did not see yours!

        5. saltchocolate

          Or maybe he just grew up! 😀

          I want to say that it takes guts to put your “juvenalia” (which was safely off the internet in print history’s cobwebbed storage room of college comics) onto the internet at all, let alone linked to your uber-popular new strips in which the same characters appear. But I’m so glad I can read the backstory/counterstory! Thanks, Willis!

    2. John

      Yeah, Joe’s pretty much always been cool like that. Always asking for a yes, but always willing to accept a no with good grace.

      Except early in Roomies!, but everyone was terrible early in Roomies!. Joyce’s “personality” back then was “obsessive stalker”, Sarah didn’t even have that much, and Danny was Danny. And the rest of the cast had yet to be introduced.

    3. rachel

      agreeeeeee so much! joe is a-ok!

  10. fbihop

    SHE’S SO CUTE.

  11. Shrugs

    Joyce brings everyone together. To laugh at her.

    1. Yotomoe

      Joyce failed at cursing. Let’s all point and laugh at her humiliation.

  12. Aizat

    A dude backing off…huh. I was expecting a PePe Le Pew.

    1. Yotomoe

      So the trick would be to Douse Sarah in water and have her chase after him.

  13. Kernanator

    This is the story where people try to pay Joyce to swear, isn’t it?

    1. Doctor_Who

      Willis should totally do that for real. Like, make expansions to her vocabulary stretch goals on the next Kickstarter.

      1. Kernanator

        Willis puts a stretch goal that Joyce will use words like “Damn” and “Hell” in the comic. When it’s met, she only uses them in a religious context.

        1. John

          She’s already done that.

    2. Wack'd

      I do really quite desperately want that to be an actual storyline. Here’s hoping.

  14. alicemacher

    Let it out, Sarah. It’s probably been a geological eon since you’ve laughed that hard.

    1. David Willis

      Eh, just five days ago: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/needle/

      1. alicemacher

        …Oh yeah. Durn webcomic time.

        1. Ancestral Hamster

          What is that in dog years?

        2. John

          *consults Florence Ambrose*

          Looks like a little over three years.

      2. saltchocolate

        Thank you, Willis! Now we know why Sarah likes Joyce: she’s the only one who can make Sarah laugh. 😀

  15. Yotomoe

    I feel bad for Joe. Who isn’t turned on by Sarah’s RAGE?

    1. Aizat

      Actually..I have no answer to that question.

      1. Tunaro

        Certainly not I.

    2. Rick

      The deceased.

    3. Jenny Creed

      I’m not. >_>

    4. Opus the Poet

      Meh! Not aroused by constantly angry women.

      1. rachel

        fuck you ha ha!

  16. mechaqua

    its’s okay Joyce the important thing is that their laughing at you and not with you.

  17. carl320

    Watch out guys, we’re dealing with a Bad Joyce over here.

    1. Yotomoe

      She’s gonna rip her tap soon enough to show 4 inches below her belly button!!!!

  18. Deathjavu

    This set of strips at the cafeteria continues to provide the best facial reactions ever.

    In fact, I’ll just go ahead and say that these are the funniest DoA strips we’ve had so far.

  19. Totz the Plaid

    Well, Joyce took a situation full of anger and frustration, and turned it into a moment of humor and joy for all involved (at least for the moment)!

    While unintentional, that’s very impressive!

    1. saltchocolate

      And paved the way for the SS Jorah to set sail!

  20. Henry

    If Joyce ever curses in this ‘verse, I’m pretty sure she’ll break the universe.

    1. Aizat

      And then a talking crow would go “YOU FOOLS! YOU MESSED WITH THE NATURAL ORDER!” as the universe deletes itself.

      1. Yotomoe

        Suddenly Joyce, Joe, and Sarah are Powerpuff Girls.

        1. CthulhuPanda36

          And Dina becomes Samurai Jack! (only because Ninja Rick is not a main character here)

        2. Aizat

          With Galasso becomes AKU! WITH GREAT FLAMING EYEBROWS!

        3. Wack'd

          …goddammit now I’m even sadder Mako’s dead. If anyone should’ve voiced Galasso in an animated adaptation…

        4. Kelly

          WAIT! wait. wait. Mako as in General Iroh?! Holy crap he was even awesomer than I knew!

          Yeah, I don’t know my VAs that well 🙁

        5. StClair

          inDEED!

        6. Aizat

          With Walky being Professor Utonium.

    2. Nono

      The final strip of the comic will be Joyce shouting the F-word into the heavens.

      1. John

        From her motorcycle.

        With Dorothy riding B-word.

      2. xKiv

        Hasa diga eebowai!

  21. Plasma Mongoose

    …and Joyce’s swear jar remains coinless.

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s already died of neglect.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Jar-jar can die of neglect, jars not so much. 😀

        1. Ancestral Hamster

          But Jar-Jar is the Christ figure of the Star Wars universe! He’s plot-critical!

          (If I had the link, I’d link the parody animation.)

  22. Wonder Wig

    Joyce has the eyes of a white walker.

    1. Badeyes

      Good God I read that as ‘white walken’ and was completely confused. “What does Christopher Walken have to do with it?”
      Time to back away from the monitor.

      1. madd

        Well … the name kind of explains it all, no?

  23. Albi

    I snorted. Ow! My nose! Damn you Willis!

    1. NerdHerder

      I think you mean, “Darn you, Willis”.

  24. adinfinitumspero

    So have I missed something ? I know Joyce and Joe had a bad date, but I don’t get this extreme anger coming towards him

    1. Doctor_Who

      He’s a no-good poop-brain who only thinks with his thingie, and all about pre-marital hanky panky.

      1. Yotomoe

        And so mike and her punched the ever loving poop out of him.

    2. Random832

      I’m actually more confused about the protectiveness towards Sarah in particular, and why she’s so mad. Does she have some kind of history I’ve forgotten about?

      1. Bill

        When Joyce got roofied at the party it was Sarah who designated herself as Joyce’s guardian angel and used her Louisville Slugger to turn the would-be molester into a ground-rule double.  Joyce is merely returning the favor — not that Sarah needs the help….. 

        1. Random832

          So she doesn’t recognize the difference between that and what Joe is doing?

          Okay, that explains Joyce, what about Sarah?

        2. John

          Sarah’s very protective of Joyce, probably still annoyed at Joe over the conversation they had before the date… and remember that, unlike us, Sarah didn’t see what happened on the date, so her perception is filtered entirely through Joyce. And if Joyce has ever confessed that she hired a guy to punch Joe in the face, we haven’t seen it.

      2. Jack Finch

        She’s shown a tendency to get mad when she thinks somebody has forgotten their place.

    3. timemonkey

      Joyce had issues with sexuality and lust to begin with. Since then she was almost raped and is now dating a self-hating gay guy willingly since he’ll never put the moves on her. She’s not the most stable person.

      1. insomniac

        Right. She has her issues, so she’s not seeing the difference between Joe’s constant horndogness and the sexual predator she had a run-in with.

        Like the day after, when she flipped out on Joe while she was on the phone.

  25. Jay Eff

    “Gosh darn it!”

    “Heck!!”

  26. Keroshino

    Not sure how I should feel about “NEW” Joyce…

    1. Aizat

      I’d prefer Pre-Crisis Joyce.

    2. Wack'd

      Classic Joyce never swore either.

      I can actually categorically prove the proof of this statement, using the classic site’s dialogue search engine. See, in It’s Walky! and related properties, swears were either grawlixed out or scribbled over, so you can find any swear words by searching for “#”. You can also find when a certain character found a certain thing by typing “name :” before the dialogue you’re searching for.

      Now, when I plug in “joyce : #”, absolutely no results come up at all. Therefore, today’s comic does not in fact indicate any change to Joyce’s personality cross-dimensionally.

      1. Kelly

        Aw, you used a search engine? And here I thought you just knew that with certainty off the top of your head!

        1. Wack'd

          I do, doesn’t mean I don’t double-check my facts before making an assertion. And I figured “I know off the top of my head that Joyce never swore in the old universe” wouldn’t be a very persuasive argument, because c’mon, that’s kinda crazy.

        2. John

          Doesn’t seem crazy to me.

          Of course, I’m the guy who went through and counted how many times each of the DoA characters has said “fuck” to date.

    3. madd

      I was ok with her until this particular moment. Her anger at Joe strikes me as not only being all out of proportion to the situation, but extremely unfair given that Joe is reacting so well to being shot down in such an aggressive manor and not at all being a jerk. Joyce’s rant really put me off her. In Joe’s place, I’d have told her that Sarah is a big girl who can take care of herself and that Joyce needs to mind her own business and grow the hell up. I don’t know why, but that third panel really hit me wrong.

      1. Kladeos

        I feel a bit of this too. It’s unnecessary and overkill on Joyce’s part – which is part of why they find it funny, though if she’d used actual swearwords they’d probably be a little more bothered by it.

        1. Kladeos

          They being Sarah et al, not readers.

  27. ironbillie

    Cuteness overload! Dorothy may go down along with Joes.

  28. milk experiment

    I sense that Joyce is really trying not to be adorable when she’s angry and threatening. The fact that she’s failing completely somehow just makes it even cuter.

    1. Yotomoe

      Why is incompetence so cute? Why are we endeared to it. Is it because babies are cute and they’re the most incompetent things of all?

      1. nothri

        Yotomoe, the hell are you talking about? Babies have conned the whole world into attending to their every whim whenever they desire. There are kings of vast empires that have less power than a two week old baby.

      2. Ourorboros

        While I will agree about Joyce in general, in this case it is cute because Joyce is completely unable to break out of her shell even when she is trying.
        If it helps, people find being laughed at worse than mere failure. Sometimes they find it worse than contempt since they couldn’t even rise to that level.

  29. brionl

    Ding dang ratter-fratter habber-stabbin rassa frakin’ rabbit.

    1. Aizat

      @#$%^$%$#%!@##@#%#$%^$%#$@%@#%$^%$^$%^&$^&$!

    2. Sammie1053

      WHAT THE FOX SAY

      1. Keroshino

        Nothing…he doesn’t have to say anything!!!

      2. Aizat

        Only a fool trusts his life to a weapon.

      3. Wack'd

        “Little princeling, why do you weep?“

      4. Tenn

        He says a lotta stuff. Hear for yourself.

      5. Kladeos

        The finest call in nature.

      6. Reepunzel

        The fox better keep his fool mouth shut if he knows what’s good for ‘im.

  30. Super Duper

    Whoa, whoa! Willis, this comic is supposed to be family friendly! Don’t have so much cursing!

  31. matt

    oh joyce your about as threatening as a kitten

    1. Yotomoe

      Dude, cats can ruin your life.

      1. Tunaro

        And LOLcatz can ruin the internet. You know, even more after porn did.

        1. Kelly

          If by ruin, you mean save.

        2. Tunaro

          Wait, which one?
          LOLcatz or porn?

        3. Vash

          Porn

        4. Vash

          lolcatz is the worst thing to happen to the internet imo

    2. CthulhuPanda36

      THEY WILL EAT YOU IN YOUR SLEEP! Cats are EVIL!!!

  32. Ellie

    Look at joyce, trying so hard. She’s like a chihuahua trying to be vicious.

    1. Ellie

      And, now after reading the comments I see someone beat me to it, by a while. Oh well..

  33. Plasma Mongoose

    It’s safe to say that Malcolm Tucker’s title as the F-cluster champion will remain intact.

  34. Sammie1053

    Joe acting practically chivalrous?
    Joyce trying to swear?
    Sarah laughing (grimacing)?
    It was a good day.

    1. Yotomoe

      IN OPPOSITE LAND.

      1. Sammie1053

        I proudly await tomorrow’s strip in which Mary compliments someone and then smiles.

        1. Yotomoe

          And Danny is the best character.

        2. MR K

          And Dina is a socialite.

        3. saltchocolate

          And Walky turns down tacos.

        4. Spectre

          And Sal gets a math question right.

        5. Yotomoe

          Joe and Roz take a mutual vow of abstinence.

        6. Kernanator

          Mike helps people without any ulterior motive.

        7. Tunaro

          Galasso succeeds in conquering the world.

        8. Narf

          My first glance caused me to read that as “scrote-a-lite.”

          No, I don’t know why.

          Yes, that’s probably indicative of severe problems.

        9. Mr K

          Eww.

    2. insomniac

      To be fair, Joe’s never been other than this in regards to his pursuits. He’ll make a pass at anyone, but we got a look into old-Joe’s thought process in a FAANS! crossover a few years back. Seduction isn’t a fight, in his mind, it’s a mutually enjoyable game for two.

  35. Darwin

    Joyce meltdown is comedy gold.

  36. Yotomoe

    Sarah: “Oh my god this actually made me bite my lip”

    (points to whoever knows the correct followup)

    1. why do I know this off the top of my head

      *stammers, gets up, falls out of bed* “Yes, sir!!”

  37. Arkadi

    Count on Joyce to defuse the tension.

  38. Tacdud2

    I have a strong urge to pet Joyce.

    1. Jack Finch

      Or kiss the top of her head.

  39. newllend

    My god I cant take it anymore she to much I coughed up my root bear because of her

    1. Someone

      I think you should get that checked out. I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure it’s not healthy to have bears crawling around in your throat.

      1. Narf

        I don’t even know what a root bear is, but it can’t be good if the little guy’s living in your throat. There’s no roots in there!!

  40. Bilfred

    that lightened the mood

  41. caesaria82

    omg how totally adorable

  42. Mr K

    Dina is more scary than you, Joyce. As is Riley.

  43. Calibus

    Joyce could totally be an 8

  44. Agera

    Not sure why but I want either Tara strong or Cristina Vee to voice joyce just for those lines.

    1. The Phantom's Belch

      Emma Stone, hands down.

  45. BeckHop

    Such language, Joyce! :O

  46. Raibean

    omg joyce

  47. Tahkuya

    with a vocabulary like the she should just stare angrily instead open opening her mouth and ruining it with her aversion to swearing

  48. Varangian

    Fucking righteous, Sarah. Goddamn. I want to give you a high-five for NOT being at all charmed by Joe.

  49. Gottawonder

    Literally Rofl at this panel.
    Joyce you’re trying, but you did give it a shot, and missed by a mile. 🙂
    The fact that everyone in the room is trying not to fall off their chairs didn’t help me keep a straight face, at all.
    I see it as a step forward for her, she never would have spoken up like that last year (yesterday DOA time). She only exploded when ‘mariitial hanky panky’ was suspected.

  50. begbert2

    I may be the only one here who finds Joyce’s outburst disturbing rather than amusing. Yes, her non-cursing makes her sound stupid, but it’s a think veneer of stupid over the very real rage she’s showing. And this is the girl who required no prompting to resort to physical violence.

    Yes I know it won’t happen because this is a happy friendly comic, but the usually-nice Joyce strikes me as somebody who has very little self-control when she decides to snap.

    1. Bill

      Please explain how one can “snap” and not lose self control?

      1. begbert2

        The move classic way is when you stand over your quailing victim with your beating’ hand raised and shaking, but don’t actually start pounding because that would get you a worse rating. Your gear slips a few notches, but doesn’t start spinning freely.

        We’ve seen actual proof that Joyce not only doesn’t hold back the pounding, but she doesn’t regret it afterwards. To me that side of her is a bit disturbing.

        1. Random832

          I’m not sure I would define that as a “snap”.

        2. John

          I’m pretty sure Joyce did
          regret it afterwards          .

        3. begbert2

          And then I clicked next and she was fuming again. Seems less like regret about being violent than regret that her date ended poorly and awkwardly.

    2. Bemmie

      This seems to me to be a very intentional and integral part of her character. The thin veneer of a repressed homeschool fundie over a boiling pit of rage provides great opportunities for conflict/drama with others as well as herself. So much potential for character development with how and where she directs that rage. Considering Joyce is Willis’ personal autobiographical avatar I imagine it provides some catharsis telling how she deals with it. Then again I could be talking out my arse.

      1. Bemmie

        Also “this is a happy friendly comic”…
        … I recommend you familiarise yourself with the phrase “damn you Willis!”

        1. begbert2

          I considered laying the irony on thicker to make it clear, but decided it would be distracting.

    3. Pizkie

      No, I’m right there with you. That is a really disproportionate amount of rage considering Joe’s “crime”. My personal theory is that her aversion to Joe is a cocktail of lust for him, jealousy of him (the same way she’s jealous of Walky/Dorothy), and good ol’ self-righteous repulsion.
      But then I read another commentor’s theory that maybe she can’t distinguish between Joe’s horndog-ing and that dude who assualted her. Which makes sense to me.

      But yeah, girl has a lot of rage to sort through.

      1. tahrey

        PREEEE MAAAARRRIIIIITAAAAALLLLL HAAAAANNNKYYY PAAAAAAANNNNKYYYYYYYYYYYYY

    4. ThatOneCatC

      I agree. The levels of anger from Joyce seems quite out of line with that of any reasonable person. One has to wonder why the cast remains friends at all due to their inability to be able to actually be nice to one another for longer than a single day. Perhaps they are all so damaged that all of their other peers have since ostracized them due to their unrelenting rage issues (deserved or not). I can just imagine sitting at another table near them and hearing their exchanges with one another day after day. Definitely would have me warning others away from this disturbed group of children.

      1. ThatOneCatC

        Though to be fair this is a therapists utopia. Much money to be made on a long term basis.

    5. Baker

      Part of what makes it so funny I think is just that it doesn’t make any sense on the surface. She’s not willing to swear, but it’s OK to pummel him. Looking at it a little more closely though it does start to make sense within her moral grounds. If there is ever a time for justified violence in the eyes of Joyce’s God, it makes sense to me at least that defending someone from being dragged off to be raped would be on the list.

      I think the reason she reacted so strongly here though probably has to do with her own nearly raped experience. She’s saying if you don’t back off of Sarah who is clearly not interested, I will fight. Jumping to the conclusion that Joe might rape Sarah could be a result of what happened to her as well.

      1. ThatOneCatC

        Except she was just as likely to justify and use violence before the rape attempt. To Joe she just seems insane.

    6. madd

      I didn’t find it amusing. It made me dislike her a little bit. I think it’s the unfairness of it. Both Sarah and Joyce act like Joe’s done something terrible by being interested in Sarah. He didn’t press when Sarah made it obvious she wasn’t interested and he wasn’t a jerk about it either, despite the aggro shut down he got. He didn’t deserve Joyce’s BS.

      1. Bill

        I think it is because we have seen that Joe’s goal in college is to collect notches on his bedpost; Dorothy and Sarah both know this and find this repulsive for varying reasons — Joyce because of her upbringing and Sarah because it is counter to what she is in school for.  Remember, according to the storyline she narked out her previous roommate for being too much of a party girl.  Sarah’s reaction under those circumstances seems appropriate for the situation.

        OTOH Joyce seems to be over-reacting precisely because she has been displaying so much self-control.  She is like the Mythbusters water heater with the disabled safety valve; the pressure of her moral outrage has been building over the past four weeks of in-comic time.  And just like the water heater, when she finally blows it is going to be spectacular!  

        1. John

          That’s not why Sarah narced on Dana, at least according to Storytime With Aunt Sarah.

        2. Bill

          You’re right — I had forgotten what pushed Dana over the edge from casual toker to full-time stoner.  But the end result was the same; it was causing Sarah’s grades to fall and possibly jeopardizing her scholarship.

        3. begbert2

          I’m not seeing how Joe’s hobby is counter to Sarah’s goals for school. Sure she’s not here for sex, but unless Joe’s sex compromises her grades I don’t see why she’d care one way or the other.

          Have we seen her get ragey about Joe and his sexuality on any previous instance?

        4. taekwondogirl

          I think her problem is she’s tried to sidestep his advances before and it’s just sorta fueled his interest. In her mind, this is the only way to make him back off.

    7. Ourorboros

      Actually Joyce was prompted to physical violence – Joe was looking at another woman on their “date”.
      Not that I find it excusable, but it was a combination of possessiveness, jealousy, and her mixed up belief’s about sex and lust.

      Now add to her unresolved almost rape fears and the fact that she is somewhat of a virtuous slut – also unresolved – and you have an outburst.

  51. NinjaNick

    Joyce is so cute when she rages.

    Poopieface!

    1. Jackson

      PoopieFAAAAAACE!

  52. Bill

    Reminds me, actually, of the story about Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens), who reportedly had a rather salty vocabulary, and his wife Olivia, who did not appreciate it.  Clemens tried to keep watch on his tongue when she was close by; but one day something irritated him and, thinking his wife could not hear, he launched into a torrent of red-hot profanity. When he entered his wife’s room a short time later, she coolly repeated word-for-word everything he had said.

    “Livy,” he replied, astounded yet amused, “did it sound like that?”

    “Of course it did,” she said, “only worse. I wanted you to hear just how it sounded.”

    “Livy, it would pain me to think that when I swear it sounds like that. You got the words right but you don’t know the tune.”

    1. tahrey

      Which is why it’s just about as satisfying to swear in a completely different language to your own even if you only know that a word is “bad” rather than its true meaning, so long as the sounds are correct. It’s not about the word, it’s all about the emphasis.

  53. Raoullefere

    Oh sweet heaven above, Sarah’s face cracked! Someone fix her faaaccceee!

  54. tahrey

    …and from then on, everyone was (platonic) friends, their previously positively-reinforcing emnity shattered in one fell swoop by the ludicrous awkwardness of the situation?

  55. The Candyman

    Whoa there. That’s actually pretty threatening coming from Joyce.

  56. Volkai

    Oh God, the look on Joe’s face.

    On everyone’s face.

    1. Wack'd

      on everyone’s faaaaaaaaaaaace

  57. SgtNumnum

    My brother is more mature than Joyce, and he’s ten

    1. Baron

      Ummm do you mean ‘swears better’ in place of mature? Joyce is at least somewhat mature. And is still dealing w/issues. Frankly Joyce seems to fit my memories of how I was at 18 and totally fits w/college freshmen I’ve met since.

      1. madd

        You don’t have to swear to express your displeasure with someone. You also don’t have to call them a poopieface.

      2. Ourorboros

        Joyce is mature in some ways – but a lot of that is merely acting on programming. She is immature in other ways, more than many freshmen.
        She certainly expects to be coddled and babied. Even as the baby of HER family, the message would have been sent a few times in the last couple of (comic strip time) weeks.
        You know, the way Billie has had to deal with the fact that she isn’t a cheerleader any more and what she or her family was in high school doesn’t matter.

  58. joeyo

    Oh poop, it’s on now motherfudger!

  59. Sock

    Fudge yeah, Joyce!

  60. CianM1301

    Aw, she’s trying so hard!

  61. ShadowWing Tronix

    I have a favorite Joyce moment now, and this is it.

  62. madd

    The way my mother explained it to me, any word you use to replace a swear word is the same as using the swear word because it means the same thing.

    1. Bill

      George Carlin: “Because that’s what they taught us!  It’s what’s in your mind that counts!  Your intentions!  That’s how we’ll judge you – what you want to do!  Mortal sin: had to be a grievous offense, sufficient reflection, and full consent of the will.  You had to wanna!”

      Might as well have used the actual words, Joyce.  God knows what you meant!!

    2. saltchocolate

      This is exactly the way I was taught, too!

    3. Ourorboros

      That’s true, but if nothing else people are good at rationalizing how what they do doesn’t count.
      In that family, the way they are brought up, Joyce would never think of it.

  63. Ashley

    Being adorable when angry is counterproductive.

  64. Paul1963

    Oh, Joyce, nobody will ever take you seriously if you insist on fake-swearing. That’s one of those things where you need to go all-in or just not bother. Now go read some Warren Ellis or Garth Ennis comics and try again later.

  65. Katie Schenkel

    Really Joe? “Harness” that energy? Sigh … 10 points for apologizing and backing off, but 5 points off for the harness line.

    1. Wack'd

      Joe just wants to use Sarah’s emotions to go rock climbing. Is that so wrong?

      1. Kladeos

        He wants to put in Danny.

  66. Twirls

    That last panel… they’re all so CUTE!
    AhHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    ~friendship~

    1. Hoboturtle

      The emotion that is friendship

  67. Nena

    Hahaha! I love how they’re all trying not to bust out laughing.

  68. Lizzy

    I don’t curse so this is literally me trying to insult someone.

  69. Roborat

    Aw, isn’t she the cutest?

  70. Ben

    to quote Stewie Griffin ‘It’s like she’s f#^%ing 5!!’ baaaahahahahaha

  71. OmegaDez

    Poor Joe. Seriously…

    1. Ourorboros

      People with multiple un-addressed hangups are not easy to deal with.

  72. AckackAck

    Okay I’m laughing so hard right now. That’s adorable and I just want to pat her head. I used to want to pair Joe and Joyce, but now I see them more like brother and sister.

    Also Joe and Sarah? Jorah? HELL YES!

  73. aeyt

    she is so fricken adorbs I love it

  74. stevecharb

    Joyce is really becoming one bad-butt melon-farmer

  75. Reepunzel

    Sarah may not be on Joe’s menu, but I’m sure she just made his home cooking grocery list.

    He just needs to warm her up (a LOT) before serving.

  76. XMinusOne

    “Poopieface?” “Fudge you up?” “Dang?” “A-Hole?” Poor Joyce, with those epithets you’ve just blown your chance at salvation so you might as well see to to Joe.

  77. Boom

    She said neigh.

  78. Snoot

    I never drew the correlation between Dumbiverse Joyce and a friend of mine until just now

  79. KingOfGreyfell

    This is why Joyce is my favorite character.

  80. DarkoNeko

    And bam, global aggressivity defused ! (save for one)

  81. Onion

    I think I’m also one of those people who will never swear IRL. I only do it on the internet on exclusive occasions.

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