“Ever been able to” is a strong way of phrasing a statement about someone you’ve known for like 6 weeks, Mike. But you are an edgelordy asshole so pointless hyperbole is definitely in your wheelhouse.
I mean, you’re right in this case, but you haven’t seen any of the flashbacks we did.
Normally I’d agree, but given Mike’s disturbing dedication to hurting Walky, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s somehow stalked Walky’s online presence to information gather at one point or another.
After the ‘I elaborately faked a website to record you crying’ thing I basically assume as much malicious intent and energy as is feasible from Mike.
Has he? I mean, Amber knows Sal, though she didn’t know she knew Sal or who Walky was… And apparently Blaine knew Sal’s best friend’s Dad, and Mike knew more about Blaine than he should have…
…Oh crap. I think Mike might know a lot more about a lot of things than he lets on.
Yeah. Anyone could notice Walky’s short attention span. And, Walky doesn’t act at all surprised about it.
Tbh, Walky probably has ADHD-inattentive, which would include that he’s always felt this way. Mike totally knows him well enough to develop this as a working theory.
(I recognize that I’m not qualified to diagnose people, that
I couldn’t diagnose somebody online even if I was qualified, and that Walky is a character in a comic strip. I’m just saying, he’d sure pass a casual internet screening for it.)
I know we’re on a floating timeline here, but there always seems to be SOME fast food restaurant trying to get into the spotlight by concocting a gimmick item that should not be, so you can just mentally substitute whatever the current Avatar if Indigestion is.
Like Bloodbending, complete with doubling over in agony and wishing you were dead.
It can be countered with TumsBending.
Roborat
And the attack “stream” comes from an unexpected orifice, Making it hard to aim the attack effectively. Strangely, for some reason nobody wants to travel with the digestion bender.
Looking forward to the new licensed Dumbing of Age game, where-in you play Amber hiding in the bushes, moving benches and trash cans into Walky’s way to herd him toward his next class without letting him see you.
**raises hand**
I am not thinking about it constantly.
In fact, had I not just read this comic, I would have happily never known of its existence and never wasted any precious brain cells on this horrible, horrible knowledge.
I have stared into the KFC Cheetos Sandwich, and it stares back at me.
I’m vaguely pleased that more and more fast food chains are introducing non-meat alternatives – whilst also a bit irked that a lot of these cook them on the same griddles as the meat patties so they aren’t truly veggie/vegan. For people looking to cut down their meat consumption, great; for people who are veggie/vegan but not too fussed about cross-contamination, great – but for people who either don’t know but would care, or would otherwise happily try [insert chain name here]’s offering for the first time if they were doing it properly, not so much. And my concern is that the conclusion will be “these aren’t as popular as predicted, it’s not worth it” rather than “the market clearly supports having a dedicated griddle for the veggie/vegan offerings and doing it properly to maximise our appeal to this growing section of the population”…
It occupies considerably more brain space than novelty offerings, but that’s still a “when the topic of fast food innovations/the ease with which veggies can eat out comes up” thing rather than an ever-present driving force in my life…
There’s also another problem about the bacteria-grown meat as it is.
It’s not going to help reduce meat production at all, in itself.
Here’s the thing: About 50% of all meat is basically minced meat in one form or another. HOWEVER, it’s not like we grow a thousand cows; then we make steaks (NOTE: I’m using steaks as a short-hand term for products that are basically slabs of meat in this case) from 500 of them, and the minced meat products with the other 500.
No, we make steaks from 50% of the cow. Then the other 50% will become burgers and meat loafs and pates and whatnot.
So in other words; as long as the market for steaks remains constant, we’ll still need to keep growing them cows at the same number. At which point you might as well actually use the whole damn animal as efficiently as possible; rather than throwing it away for no good reason.
Of course, this might change in the future. Maybe they’ll manage to recreate the consistency of steaks. Maybe we will lower the demand of meat consumption all over. There are ways that the impossible meat can be a small part of an overall systemic change.
But on its own, it’s a marketing gimmick rather than a solution.
TheWanderingMist
Reducing meat production will not help the environment. It takes twice as much farmland to sustain a vegan as opposed to an ordinary person, as well as the fact that B12, a vital ingredient in brain function, is NOT FOUND in non-animal products. The real problem the environment faces is habitat loss, and veganism simply increases the rate at which forests become cornfields. Fields are far more of a controlled environment than an animal pen. Only predators are regularly kept away from farm animals with other types of animal free to come and go as they please, meaning they get to keep their living space.
Bathymetheus
I don’t know where you got that “twice as much farmland” from, but given the inefficiency of raising meat animals rather than eating plants ourselves, that has to be wrong.
thejeff
Also, the idea that other animals get to keep their living space is nonsense as well. If you cut a forest for a dairy farm, the deer don’t just move on to the farm. Some animals might do okay, but most don’t adapt well to living in that close proximity.
There is a hint of truth that probably led to these ideas – strict veganism isn’t the most efficient use of land for agriculture. Mostly because it doesn’t make good use of land that’s suitable for grazing, but not for intensive crop farming.
However, most livestock isn’t fed mostly by grazing or from land that can only effectively grow hay or other things people can’t eat. Vast amounts of corn and grain is grown for animal feed and much of that land could be used for human food instead – corn and grains mostly.
The studies I’ve heard of suggest a diet with much less meat consumption than modern America, along with dairy, probably makes the best use of available resources.
thejeff
I’m not sure how true that is. I’m no expert, but I don’t think ground beef is just made from the scraps you can’t sell as “steaks”. Probably not the highest end cuts (filet mignon hamburg!), but most parts of a cow are regularly sold as steaks or roasts or something unground.
And yeah, every time I’ve looked into any of the meat substitutes, the high salt content is what’s turned me away.
Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t go to KFC if he was paying attention, Mike. I mean, it’s just before midterms. He’s probably just missing review. Not that that couldn’t bite him in the ass, but we’ve no indication he’s struggling in gender studies. I mean, I wish he was, because math has a reputation as a hard subject and so a lot of people think the answer is to drop it and take an easier math or no math, and gender studies problems would get the point across he’s struggling with studying, not just math, but that’s a me quibble.
It would definitely get the point across better. (I do think one of Walky’s problems is that he chose classes haphazardly as well – does anyone really think he’ll stay a Communications major? – and picking a higher math than he was necessarily ready for may have been part of that, but I still figure he can salvage it if someone helped him with study bootcamp and teaching the material more effectively than Jason. But also Amber WHY DID YOU CHANGE HIS GRADES AUGH.)
He’s a telecommunications major, not communications, but honestly he only picked it because he likes television and it has tele in it. I don’t think he’d stick with it.
No doubt that since time immemorial, the earls of Sandwich have had no greater allies than their peers in the duchy of Thingley. But probably this has more to do with his close friendship to the southern colonels.
Chekhov’s phone? Chekhov’s text message? Of course it will be an essential message which he is ignoring. His mom is on hand? His sister needs him? Probably much much worse.
I’ve been telling you, Amber, this was ludicrously high risk for no reward. I know you can’t hear me because you’re a cartoon, but I have said it anyway.
(I have no idea if Walky’s specifically in neurodivergent gifted kid burnout or not, but either way he needs some serious help with the ‘how to study’ and the ‘my self-esteem is tied to being the Smart One’ fronts.)
124 thoughts on “Hiding”
Ana Chronistic
Walky loves you, Colonel Sanders
plasticwrap
I’m actually less surprised by this than the fact that the KFC Cheetos sandwich is a real thing.
Jim
Same.
Ana Chronistic
How about that Colonel Sanders hated KFC?
LazerWulf
Well, it probably was at the time this was written. It seems to have fallen off the face of the earth.
Good thing, too. I tried it, and it was nasty.
Ana Chronistic
Did you try the “mac and cheese covered chicken strips” that are at the climax of the Colonel Sanders dating sim
DarkoNeko
Wow, Billie looks like a zombie today
Doctor_Who
She and Walky could both use some braaaaains.
nico
Well, withdrawal sucks :/
BBCC
It really fucking does, even when it’s mild.
Billie’s is not mild.
King Daniel
Panel 1: I knew it! Walky’s a robot!
…why are you all looking at me in that manner?
Deathjavu
“Ever been able to” is a strong way of phrasing a statement about someone you’ve known for like 6 weeks, Mike. But you are an edgelordy asshole so pointless hyperbole is definitely in your wheelhouse.
I mean, you’re right in this case, but you haven’t seen any of the flashbacks we did.
Regalli
Normally I’d agree, but given Mike’s disturbing dedication to hurting Walky, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s somehow stalked Walky’s online presence to information gather at one point or another.
After the ‘I elaborately faked a website to record you crying’ thing I basically assume as much malicious intent and energy as is feasible from Mike.
not someone else
Has he? I mean, Amber knows Sal, though she didn’t know she knew Sal or who Walky was… And apparently Blaine knew Sal’s best friend’s Dad, and Mike knew more about Blaine than he should have…
…Oh crap. I think Mike might know a lot more about a lot of things than he lets on.
not someone else
Well, one of her friends, maybe not her best friend. Still.
Tacos
I mean it is Walky. You don’t really need to spend much time with him to draw the conclusion Mike did.
Leorale
Yeah. Anyone could notice Walky’s short attention span. And, Walky doesn’t act at all surprised about it.
Tbh, Walky probably has ADHD-inattentive, which would include that he’s always felt this way. Mike totally knows him well enough to develop this as a working theory.
(I recognize that I’m not qualified to diagnose people, that
I couldn’t diagnose somebody online even if I was qualified, and that Walky is a character in a comic strip. I’m just saying, he’d sure pass a casual internet screening for it.)
BarerMender
“Ever” doesn’t necessarily mean his whole life. It can mean “As long as I’ve known him.”
Stephen Bierce
*plays “Junk Food Junkie” on the hacked speakers*
Doctor_Who
I know we’re on a floating timeline here, but there always seems to be SOME fast food restaurant trying to get into the spotlight by concocting a gimmick item that should not be, so you can just mentally substitute whatever the current Avatar if Indigestion is.
King Daniel
So what does digestionbending look like, anyway?
Doctor_Who
Like Bloodbending, complete with doubling over in agony and wishing you were dead.
It can be countered with TumsBending.
Roborat
And the attack “stream” comes from an unexpected orifice, Making it hard to aim the attack effectively. Strangely, for some reason nobody wants to travel with the digestion bender.
Needfuldoer
Taco Bell’s Dorito taco shell opened the floodgates.
Geneseepaws
It could go back to McD’s BigMac, but it may go back to the Earl of Sandwich?
Opus the Poet
Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae (which BTW was good, but Way Too Sweet)
SuperZero
I’m sorry, the what.
newllend(henryvolt)
It’s exactly as it sounds.
Deanatay
Actually, it’s worse – Willis apparently knew about this abomination six months ago.
Roborat
Well, that was when they started test marketing it in limited locations.
ValdVin
Okay, was this strip originally written about the Popeye’s chicken sandwich, or shortage thereof?
David M Willis
This was written as-is.
Author X
Looking forward to the new licensed Dumbing of Age game, where-in you play Amber hiding in the bushes, moving benches and trash cans into Walky’s way to herd him toward his next class without letting him see you.
Keulen
If that game existed I would definitely play it.
hof1991
Maybe she could train a goose to follow him around and chase him where he needs to go.
Roborat
Think I played that game on the Amiga, it was called Lemmings.
Kyrik Michalowski
Come on Amber, you know Walky by now. He was part of Garbage Roof with you, what makes you think he is going to fix things without a kick in the ass?
Delicious Taffy
Is that what it’s like on the opposite end of a relationship with an airhead? What a rush.
LeslieBean4shizzle
**raises hand**
I am not thinking about it constantly.
In fact, had I not just read this comic, I would have happily never known of its existence and never wasted any precious brain cells on this horrible, horrible knowledge.
I have stared into the KFC Cheetos Sandwich, and it stares back at me.
Emperor Norton II
You speak for Us as well in this one matter. Together, we shall defeat the monster that is Willis’ obsession with crappy sandwiches.
He Who Abides
I’d like to join your party.
Roborat
Are you a cleric, there is always a need for clerics.
He Who Abides
Druid, actually. But if you can find a cleric as well, we won’t need a fighter.
Miri
I’m vaguely pleased that more and more fast food chains are introducing non-meat alternatives – whilst also a bit irked that a lot of these cook them on the same griddles as the meat patties so they aren’t truly veggie/vegan. For people looking to cut down their meat consumption, great; for people who are veggie/vegan but not too fussed about cross-contamination, great – but for people who either don’t know but would care, or would otherwise happily try [insert chain name here]’s offering for the first time if they were doing it properly, not so much. And my concern is that the conclusion will be “these aren’t as popular as predicted, it’s not worth it” rather than “the market clearly supports having a dedicated griddle for the veggie/vegan offerings and doing it properly to maximise our appeal to this growing section of the population”…
It occupies considerably more brain space than novelty offerings, but that’s still a “when the topic of fast food innovations/the ease with which veggies can eat out comes up” thing rather than an ever-present driving force in my life…
Ana Chronistic
Yikes, I was hoping that health regulations would require veganish foods to be cooked separately
Already disappointed that the Impossible Whopper is actually LESS healthy than a regular one (more sodium)
Emperor Norton II
There’s also another problem about the bacteria-grown meat as it is.
It’s not going to help reduce meat production at all, in itself.
Here’s the thing: About 50% of all meat is basically minced meat in one form or another. HOWEVER, it’s not like we grow a thousand cows; then we make steaks (NOTE: I’m using steaks as a short-hand term for products that are basically slabs of meat in this case) from 500 of them, and the minced meat products with the other 500.
No, we make steaks from 50% of the cow. Then the other 50% will become burgers and meat loafs and pates and whatnot.
So in other words; as long as the market for steaks remains constant, we’ll still need to keep growing them cows at the same number. At which point you might as well actually use the whole damn animal as efficiently as possible; rather than throwing it away for no good reason.
Of course, this might change in the future. Maybe they’ll manage to recreate the consistency of steaks. Maybe we will lower the demand of meat consumption all over. There are ways that the impossible meat can be a small part of an overall systemic change.
But on its own, it’s a marketing gimmick rather than a solution.
TheWanderingMist
Reducing meat production will not help the environment. It takes twice as much farmland to sustain a vegan as opposed to an ordinary person, as well as the fact that B12, a vital ingredient in brain function, is NOT FOUND in non-animal products. The real problem the environment faces is habitat loss, and veganism simply increases the rate at which forests become cornfields. Fields are far more of a controlled environment than an animal pen. Only predators are regularly kept away from farm animals with other types of animal free to come and go as they please, meaning they get to keep their living space.
Bathymetheus
I don’t know where you got that “twice as much farmland” from, but given the inefficiency of raising meat animals rather than eating plants ourselves, that has to be wrong.
thejeff
Also, the idea that other animals get to keep their living space is nonsense as well. If you cut a forest for a dairy farm, the deer don’t just move on to the farm. Some animals might do okay, but most don’t adapt well to living in that close proximity.
There is a hint of truth that probably led to these ideas – strict veganism isn’t the most efficient use of land for agriculture. Mostly because it doesn’t make good use of land that’s suitable for grazing, but not for intensive crop farming.
However, most livestock isn’t fed mostly by grazing or from land that can only effectively grow hay or other things people can’t eat. Vast amounts of corn and grain is grown for animal feed and much of that land could be used for human food instead – corn and grains mostly.
The studies I’ve heard of suggest a diet with much less meat consumption than modern America, along with dairy, probably makes the best use of available resources.
thejeff
I’m not sure how true that is. I’m no expert, but I don’t think ground beef is just made from the scraps you can’t sell as “steaks”. Probably not the highest end cuts (filet mignon hamburg!), but most parts of a cow are regularly sold as steaks or roasts or something unground.
And yeah, every time I’ve looked into any of the meat substitutes, the high salt content is what’s turned me away.
BBCC
Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t go to KFC if he was paying attention, Mike. I mean, it’s just before midterms. He’s probably just missing review. Not that that couldn’t bite him in the ass, but we’ve no indication he’s struggling in gender studies. I mean, I wish he was, because math has a reputation as a hard subject and so a lot of people think the answer is to drop it and take an easier math or no math, and gender studies problems would get the point across he’s struggling with studying, not just math, but that’s a me quibble.
Regalli
It would definitely get the point across better. (I do think one of Walky’s problems is that he chose classes haphazardly as well – does anyone really think he’ll stay a Communications major? – and picking a higher math than he was necessarily ready for may have been part of that, but I still figure he can salvage it if someone helped him with study bootcamp and teaching the material more effectively than Jason. But also Amber WHY DID YOU CHANGE HIS GRADES AUGH.)
BBCC
He’s a telecommunications major, not communications, but honestly he only picked it because he likes television and it has tele in it. I don’t think he’d stick with it.
Bagge
Fool! No one denies the Duke of Thingley his sandwisch. Fool!
RicardtheDragoon
Maybe I’ve just watched Soul Eater too recently, but is that a reference to Excalibur?
Bagge
Nah, just me running around with the background insanity of Galasso.
Emperor Norton II
So different from your usual state of mind.
(Which is running around in circles with the background insanity of Becky.)
Bagge
That is completely correct!
Emperor Norton II
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-7/01-glower-vacuum/doozy/
Most people have forgotten the Duke of Thingley… But Bagge never will. Ever.
Bagge
That is completely correct!
3oranges
No doubt that since time immemorial, the earls of Sandwich have had no greater allies than their peers in the duchy of Thingley. But probably this has more to do with his close friendship to the southern colonels.
AntJ
I feel like his phone buzzing will be important later http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/facetoface/
abysswatcher1993
I doubt Blaine and Toedad can use Walky in their plans. He is a wildcard like Mike… No, Walky is a fool and Mike is a devil.
Leorale
I thought Mike had texted him a picture of the sandwich, to distract him, because Mike’s a terrible person.
hof1991
Chekhov’s phone? Chekhov’s text message? Of course it will be an essential message which he is ignoring. His mom is on hand? His sister needs him? Probably much much worse.
Roborat
Dorothy is making a booty call?
mrnoidea
*huech* at that concoction of a sandwich.
Regalli
Oh I see we’re on this shoe to drop!
I’ve been telling you, Amber, this was ludicrously high risk for no reward. I know you can’t hear me because you’re a cartoon, but I have said it anyway.
(I have no idea if Walky’s specifically in neurodivergent gifted kid burnout or not, but either way he needs some serious help with the ‘how to study’ and the ‘my self-esteem is tied to being the Smart One’ fronts.)
Pocky
Walkie is gonna be halfway to the other side the school at this rate.
abysswatcher1993