139

Insomnia
Posted on October 1, 2014 by David M Willis

139 thoughts on “Insomnia”

  1. Jen Aside

    THREAT LEVEL: [empty]

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Being insufferable doesn’t work as a threat if it’s your default mode.

      1. nothri

        Sure it does. You just explain that you keep the majority of your insufferability in check and that your opponent has only ever seen like 1% of your true power. If pressed you can issue a tactical nuclear war of obnoxiousness!

        1. Kernanator

          Being insufferable sounds a lot like being an anime character.

        2. nothri

          Well, going four episodes in which all you do is scream and power up IS pretty goddamn obnoxious, I’ll freely admit.

        3. Psyme

          Only four episodes? Must be a pretty fast paced series.

        4. Noeryu

          Its the abridged version im sure

        5. Lume

          Abridged? Heck no, it’s an animated GIF

        6. vmgx

          She have yet to find a pie.

        7. Cybersnark

          Like when Rarity demonstrated the difference between complaining and WHINING.

        8. Gordon

          That’s one of my favorite episodes.

  2. liahansen

    Her ultimate technique

    1. Lel

      THIS IS NOT EVEN MY FINAL FORM

      1. Jen Aside

        TLB

  3. otusasio451

    …Still not convinced that that isn’t Walky.

    1. MrSirk

      A wig, a bra stuffed with tissue, and sucking in that stomach….maybe it could work?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        But the smell of McNuggets and sauce remain…

        1. Gangler

          Sal’s clothes nicely mask it with the smell of cigarettes.

    2. deathjavu

      Well, the alt text about not sharing feelings reminds us what the twins have in common

    3. LockeZ

      I think Sal would notice if Carla were actually Walky in disguise.

      1. Gangler

        You just have yet to witness Walky’s gifts as a thespian.

    4. Triniking

      Walky could pull off a mid-riff. I was not informed of this!

  4. Doctor_Who

    The pies are coming out, Sal. Be warned.

    1. Yotomoe

      Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

      1. newllend

        I thought that’s what they called it when you wanted some poon

      2. Stephen Bierce

        Aren’t they ALREADY up the Amazon River without a paddle?

      3. nothri

        Well, he really is talking about pies. As in the baked goods. So…yes, I guess it technically is what the kids are calling it these days. Because they are pies, and the kids these days call them pies….because that is what they are called.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Damn it, I just finished dinner. All this talk of pies has renewed my hunger with a vengeance.
          …I’ll bet Amazi-Girl has Hostess Fruit Pies in her utility belt.

        2. Ivan

          Carla has a Dongle hanging under her utility belt.

        3. Deanatay

          Nope. Justice Fruit Pies.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FakBfSnRKjo

        4. Evil Math Magician

          NO, not Justice Fruit Pies, the delicious treat you’d have to be crazy to hate!

        5. Roborat

          And an amazing hair pie right below the utility belt. (rimshot)

          -runs away

        6. gwalla

          Oh shit yes we need an Amazi-Girl Hostess ad.

        7. Lume

          Can I have a slice of graesh please

  5. Yotomoe

    You will be incapable of suffering me!

  6. Emperor Kiva

    Carla, you need better threats than that.

  7. MrSirk

    Because she was so good a skating a person’s head exploded from the awesomeness and she vowed never to skate again.

    1. Kernanator

      Being as awesome as Sal is truly a curse.

    2. newllend

      Man is every arc about Sal going to be connected to some deep cyclogical tragedy from her past that some how ended up ruining some else’s life?

      Because if that’s the case there’s going to be a lot of people challenging her to a brawl late at night.

      1. SilentRain

        did you mean psychological?

        1. Opus the Poet

          No, Sal is one of my repressed personalities 🙂

          Well, it sounded good when I thought it, doesn’t make much sense typed out though.

        2. Cybersnark

          Cyclogical tragedy = a tragedy stemming from Cyclonus.

        3. Slinx

          Every Sal arc is referencing her tragic bicycling accident. First we saw her on a motorcylce. Then playing with a toy truck. Now with skates. The wheels are foreshadowing!

        4. SilentRain

          your avatar is fascinating and disturbing

        5. Lume

          YOUR GRAVITAR IS PERFECT

        6. Slinx

          It’s an imagined “pink haired George” from El Goonish Shive. Also, I love Rain (the comic). The characters are so entertaining!

        7. SilentRain

          i actually new what it was it’s just pink haired george fascinates and disturbs me

        8. SilentRain

          is it possible to edit these comments
          i just noticed i typed new instead of knew

    3. 3oranges

      “Why? I’ll tell you why. Because I choose not to skate!”

  8. newllend

    Being insufferable seems to be a theme for every character here.

  9. Godozo

    “What part of ‘I don’t want to’ are you going out of your way not to understand?”

    1. Yotomoe

      “The part where I care about what you do or don’t want.”

  10. Anon

    Still shipping HMS Salcar. Bon voyage!

  11. sps48

    I’m still surprised Sal cared enough to do Carla’s bidding. I’d thought better of the character.

    1. Killjoy

      How does shoving Carla’s smug assumptions and self-declared superiority to the entire human species back in her face constitute “doing her bidding”?

      1. AgentKeen

        And she’s doing it because it’ll take her mind off of worrying about Billie… I mean, ‘insomnia’.

      2. Thomas64

        She cares what Carla thinks of her. Cool people are not supposed to care what other people think. Chink in armor: detected!

        1. Killjoy

          Again, taking a smug jerk down a few pegs is not the same as caring what they think of you.

        2. Thomas64

          Sure it is.
          If Sal really doesn’t care what Carla thinks, why bother taking her down a notch? It’s not like there’s anyone else around to impress.

        3. Killjoy

          So you don’t grasp the difference between taking someone down a notch and caring about what they think of you?

          Oh well.

        4. Thomas64

          So why did Sal give her little skating demo? To shut Carla up, that’s why, but why feel the need to do that if you don’t care about that person’s opinion? You’re not making sense.

        5. JWLM

          No — to humiliate Carla by showing that she was stupid. Nothing can possibly affect Carla’s view of Sal, but lots of things can affect Carla’s view of *Carla*. And, from Carla’s response, this one stung.

  12. Regalli

    I smell a friendship coming!

    … You know, eventually.

    1. J42

      Smells like teen spirit. From really far away

  13. Catullus

    I keep recognizing bits and pieces of these comics from their Tumblr previews, and it never becomes less surreal.

  14. pyrophobia

    Carla: BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER

    1. Gigafreak

      Mushroom, Mushroom?

      Oh wait no

      1. AndromedaRage

        Mustaches! mustaches!
        …sorry wrong one

      2. NaYa

        Snaaaaaake!

    2. Deanatay

      CREAM PIE CREAM PIE

      1. Deanatay

        (I will pre-empt any ‘creampie’ jokes with a litte Bugs ‘n’ Bogey:)
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWnHtMU1TZU

    3. Jen Aside

      NAKED TIME!

  15. Kernanator

    Oh look at the time, I really should be going to bed, we’ll continue this conversation never.

  16. JessWitt

    I don’t like smoking joints either, Sal. I prefer MJ-infused teas and cakes, like in the good ol’ Victorian era.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      As much fun as fire is, smoke is something I will never trust. Baked goods, on the other hand… Well, I still don’t trust them, but they’re delicious anyway.

    2. Kelly

      Most of the times I have tried smoking I never got more than a slight buzz, about like one beer. One time (the first time) I did get high from smoking and another time I ate a brownie. Those two times I was seriously wasted and spaced out and did not enjoy it. I have concluded that weed is not for me.

      1. JessWitt

        oof, Yeah, marijuana clearly won’t work out well for everybody. I don’t take very well to alcohol myself, especially beer, since most of it tastes bland and nasty.

        1. dralou

          Most beers tasting bland and nasty ? Some time ago, I would have assumed you’re from the USA, but friends of mine who actually visited the country told me there ARE good tasty beers in there, made in the USA no less, even though most of them are stouts…Now, I’d say wherever you are, if you’re interested into trying new beers, look elsewhere than inside the supermarkets, maybe try and find the closest actual liquor store. If they haven’t got any, well, they’re not a good liquor store, then, but they could help you locate another source. And If you’re from a country where they are proud of their beers and their diversity, maybe go for other stuff than the cheap ones, they usually sit in the same alley… yes, in the supermarkets.

        2. gwalla

          Dude, don’t pull the “no there are actually really tasty beers out there, you just haven’t tried them” thing. It never works. And unless you know what beers they’ve tried and that they’re lousy, you cannot discount the possibility that they just plain don’t like beer. It’s not uncommon.

        3. Jen Aside

          srsly! Is there alcohol in it? I guarantee I’ll hate it. Same with coffee. Don’t tell me I just haven’t tried the “right” ones like you know me |=/

        4. dralou

          My answer was motivated by the “since most of it tastes bland and nasty” part of JessWitt’s comment. By experience, I know that there are a lot of beers that are far from bland, and with a variety of differences, from the fruity ones to the aggressively raspy ones.

          Granted, I don’t know what beers you tasted, and the fact that you like them or not is not my business. If my comment made you feel attacked, I apologize whole-heartedly. But if you think that “most of it tastes bland”, I’m just saying that you missed some kinds of beers. That’s why I said “IF you’re interested into trying new beers”…

          Again, your tastes are not my business. Just don’t say that most of them are bland, because it’s false.

        5. gwalla

          I actually like beer. I’m just saying, based on personal experience, that trying to convince somebody that they “just haven’t had a good beer yet” when they’ve already determined that they don’t like beer usually just annoys them.

    3. Opus the Poet

      Not a joint, just cheap stanky tobacco.

  17. JA

    You will suffer me!

  18. nothri

    And that’s how Sal wound up living in the Amazon.

    Trust me, its hilarious if you read Shortpacked.

  19. Jeffrywith1e

    she’s still shorter, even with the skates on

  20. deathjavu

    The alt text about not liking to share feelings: in case we ever forget what the Walkerton twins have in common.

    1. saltchocolate

      Ha! Bonus internet for you!

  21. Ben

    Because spiting Malaya is the best thing evar.

  22. Idon'tcarenomore

    Yup, surprised Sal bothered.
    But I did figure either she wouldn’t bother to because of cool factor, or she would because Sal never does what you expect her to do.

    1. tinfoil theory

      I certainly didn’t expect her to enter her onw room through the door.

      1. Clif

        Isn’t it in her roomate agreement?

  23. Malchus

    Think this through, Carla: The the more insufferable you are, the more people will ship you two.

  24. NF

    Okay, now I ship them.

    1. saltchocolate

      I have to say, I really don’t get this ship. Do you see *any* chemistry here??

      1. JA

        more hatefucks on slipshine ships? 🙂

      2. Jen Aside

        For some people, that’s the draw =p

      3. gwalla

        They were in a panel together! OTP!!!1

    2. Camachri

      Welcome aboard the S.S. Skatewinning, comrade~

  25. Gigafreak

    Great. Now I’m gonna worry that Sal was involved in a horrible skating accident which destroyed Marcie’s vocal chords.

    1. thatindianguy

      How would a skating accident destroy vocal chords?

      1. Jen Aside

        foot-in-mouth syndrome?

      2. JQuire

        Ice skating crash leads to Marcie ended up with a blade to the throat like Clint Malarchuk?

        P.S. there if you have to google Clint Malarchuk…beware there’s video of that accident that comes up.

        1. vlademir1

          I’d personally presume a skating accident that did significant blunt force trama to her larynyx. We’ve, to my memory, seen nothing to indicate ice skating for any of these girls, and blunt force trama can do enough of the right kind of damage to make normal, understandable speech impossible

        2. JQuire

          I guess that’s true….I’d figured Sal’s axel-esque jump yesterday was a figure skating carry over. And (to my mind) figure skating fits in better with the show-biz helicopter mom and complicated race issues than roller figure skating (is that what it’s called?)…but that might be down to a lack of familiarity. *Shrug*

          Either way: Skate to the throat!
          And Clint Malarchuk. O:)

        3. Killjoy

          That was what I speculated yesterday after it was pointed out that the spin-jump was very iceskating-esque. An iceskate to the neck of a child could easily do irreparable damage to the vocal apparatus.

          On the other hand, have ever seen a view of Marcie’s neck that would reveal a scar of some sort?

        4. gwalla

          I thought it was just a spin. The ground isn’t shown in the third panel, and Sal isn’t positioned in relation to it (just for composition purposes). The way I read it is:

          1) a spin
          2) a leap (definitely not in a figure skating style)
          3) landing in a crouch (also not typical of figure skating)
          4) stand looking awesome

        5. Killjoy

          I can see what people are getting it from, though. The “spin” could also be the windup motion to a figure-skating style jump, and some figure-skating jumps do end with one leg extended.

        6. gwalla

          Those wind-up motion to a spinning jump is an arc, not a tight spin–cutting the arc short is what generates the spin. One leg is sometimes extended on the landing, not in midair. If the legs are extended in midair, that’s a split jump, which doesn’t spin. And in either case the knees wouldn’t be bent.

        7. Opus the Poet

          Not in this comic http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/fun-2/ No visible scars there.

    2. NikkyD

      You had the same thought as me. I’m guessing that skating accident lead to Marcie having brain trauma that destroyed her vocal synapses.

      1. JWLM

        IRL, brain trauma would be wildly unlikely. Marcie is simply too functional for that — we know she could talk when she was five or so, and plasticity has plunged by then. Any injury which could complete loss of laryngeal function would have wrecked a hell of a lot more.

    3. Zaxares

      Yeeeep. That’s my new pet theory as well.

  26. Lonas

    AGGRESSIVE PERSONAL SHARING!

  27. Thomas

    For someone who’s seemingly impervious to peer pressure, Carla is pretty oblivious to detecting that quality in others. (1st panel, 2nd balloon.)

    Or “Carla, stop being a jerk. Now you’re just trolling her.”

  28. Bill

    The only skating we have seen Carla do is when she skated away from the Wal*Mart parking lot after the Amazi-Girl incident.  She claims to be skating in roller derby, but we have only her say-so to go by.

    Sal, on the other hand, has demonstrated her skating skills.  At this point the win goes to Sal.

    1. clodia

      Actually, Carla is not currently skating in roller derby. She has concerns that they wouldn’t accept her.

      1. JWLM

        She should have caught on that things were not as she’d assumed when Sal knew perfectly well that any women’s Derby team would take Carla.

        1. Fit-to-freak

          That literally just happened in yesterday’s comic though….

    2. Will

      We also saw Carla skating when she almost crashed into Danny and Ethan.

      1. Bill

        I forgot that scene — Thanks.

  29. ShaggyDonahugh

    Oh Carla, you hateful loving bongo you.

  30. Merilboné

    Nosey people. Can’t just they shut up. Like, forever?

  31. Mo

    At a quick glance, I thought that newspaper rack was an arcade machine. I was like, “Wait, did Sal just time-jump back to the early ’80s?”

  32. Kirt

    On a much more trivial note… What is Carla *wearing*? Are those legwarmers?

    1. JWLM

      I assume that they’re shinguards.

  33. Los

    Maybe it’s because I binge-watched Daria last week but now I read Sal’s parts and hear Jane Lane with a southern twang in my head. I think it fits.

    1. Jen Aside

      I hear Sal’s voice as appeared in an old, now unfindable It’s Walky! animation… *kind of* a gritty Rogue from the ’80s X-Men cartoon but not really??

      (would love to find it again but no luck)

    2. Wildkarrde

      Just a few days ago I was going to ask if I was the only one that always heard Sal using Applejack’s (MLP:FIM) voice. Clearly I am.

      I’m still ok with that.

  34. Iron

    If we should talk about feelings they would be called talkings.

  35. Hellhound

    hehehe i know why she doesn’t skate in public.
    She don’t want anyone to find about here embarrasing past.see she really is:
    SAL SPARKLES ,a Canadian Pop-skater who skated exclusivly in Mall Parking-lots.

    1. Chase

      Let’s go to the Mall! To skate

      1. anonymous

        Let’s Go to the Rink!

        Does that mean Sal has five dogs or plans to after college?

        1. anonymous

          Also, doesn’t this comic already have a Robin?

        2. Clif

          Well, yes. But she doesn’t seem to be all that Robinesque..

  36. Vree

    You don’t understand…Her parents died getting ran over by a skater in an alley after watching The Mark of Zorro.

  37. a4lbi

    I’m readin’ through and I realize for some reason, I have Sal sounding 47% like Oerba Yun Fang in my head.

    Huh.

  38. DarkoNeko

    …Sal would probably snap and beat the hell of the other team. Or possibly of her own teammates.

  39. kkiten

    For some reason it surprises me that Sal doesn’t like weed

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