419

Instructed
Posted on July 27, 2020 by David M Willis
JULY's first Patreon bonus strip is about DINA'S PARENTS!!! Because a zillion of you voted for them! All patrons can click through and check it out. and don't forget you can pledge up to read tomorrow's strip a day early, every day

419 thoughts on “Instructed”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    don’t you think she won’t!

    1. Tan

      *laughs in poor life choices*

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Never had that on my bucket list cos I have no interest in hearing granny bones cracking.

      1. TemplarKnight

        Haven’t suplexed anybody, but I have had to take an old man to the ground because he wouldn’t comply to a strip search.

        Jail sucks for everybody.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          You sound so cool right now.

        2. Rycan

          I don’t think ‘cool’ is the right word….

        3. Pearl

          I’m pretty sure this is like an actual nazi. Templar knights are a big nazi thing.

        4. Delicious Taffy

          Oh, 200%.

        5. FacelessDeviant

          Oh cool, are we throwing the nazi card around?

        6. Delicious Taffy

          I mean, if it’s being thrown in the wrong direction, there’s more or less nothing at stake. They at least claim to have “taken an old man to the ground” over a strip search, which is tasteless at best if it’s not true.

        7. Valerie

          Eww, why is there a Nazi here?

        8. Delicious Taffy

          Nazis are cartoonishly stupid and somehow capable of reading webcomics like this one without eventually realising what themes are being shown to them.

        9. Aragonius42

          Hmm out of curiosity I followed the link in his name and hmm. I think he might not actually be a Nazi. Seems to be a nerd with an unfortunately chosen name…

          https://templarknightslongdamnreviews.com/faq/

        10. Sunny

          I mean, yeah. Not every historical reference means the person is a nazi or in any way right-wing. Way back in university I had a job that involved moderating part of the forums for some big aggregated games site. Our instructions included a list of things that were supposedly indicators a user was a neo-nazi. Like names taken from old norse, runes, references to historical scandinavian myths, etc. And my reaction was to promptly ignore all those parts because they all equally apply to people who like metal, 75% of the people I hung with back then were into metal and none of them were in any way right-wing. Any of them could have picked a name from the list of forbidden things without thinking anything of it.

          Some of the other indicators I did not ignore because the numerology and acronym bits were actually sensible.

          tl;dr Not every historical reference means a person is a nazi and we should not assume so automatically.

        11. thejeff

          It certainly does not.
          OTOH, neo-Nazis deliberately use such symbols to signal to other neo-Nazis while maintaining plausible deniability to the normies. Certainly not proof, but an indication that, when combined with other signs can be enough to not give some parties the benefit of the doubt.
          Of course pointing this out makes people who recognize the signs seem paranoid to those who don’t. Which is part of the point.

        12. Delicious Taffy

          Either way, their original comment is supremely shitty and deserves mockery.

          Also, I took a quick peek as well and saw misinformation about Power Rangers, so there’s no mercy I can provide this individual.

        13. TemplarKnight

          What misinformation?

        14. Mattyos

          Speaking as someone who has suplexed somebody. It’s incredibly fun until you stand up and remember your back took part of the impact of the move.

        15. SuperZero

          Ruth should remember that from the last time she did it.

          (I don’t know my wrestling terms. What she did to Blaine was a suplex, right?)

        16. FacelessDeviant

          Weirdest flex I’ve ever seen.

      2. Oberon

        There are exceptions to every rule.

        1. Delicious Taffy

          Yeah, jail fuckin’ rocks for cops. They can just beat the shit out of the elderly for not loving to get molested, just as one example directly from the horse’s mouth.

        2. TemplarKnight

          Yeah, like I said, Jail sucks for everybody as in not an experiance I cared for, but I still had to do my job and make sure this mentally unhinged old man did not have a razor or anything like that on him that he would use to hurt himself or others. I said this primarily in response to the comment about suplexing a granny and breaking brittle bones to offer evidence that there is nothing fun about having to use force against the elderly. Mainly just a a lot of useless kicking and being gummed. But yeah, draw up my character as You see fit.

        3. SuperZero

          And you did this by, apparently falsely, asking him to consent to a strip search and then tackling him. Even though you just said he would have been easily restrained by reasonable means.

        4. TemplarKnight

          I did what? Where did I say any of that? I didn’t ask his consent to a strip search, because he was incarcerated, so he did not have the option of refusing. He needed to be strip searched per policy and procedures. He was refusing to comply willingly. And I did not “tackle him.” When he began refusing, I called for assistance, and between me and two other officers, took him to the ground(they grabbed his torso, I lifted his legs off the ground, and he was set down on the ground) and completed the strip search, while he is biting at us and kicking at us. There are a lot of reports out there where someone puts “I assisted the inmate to the ground” where they actually mean they suplexed the inmate(which is what Ruth’s report is going to read), but in this case, between three officers, we brought him to the ground in the gentlest manner possible so he did not get hurt. He was probably 90lbs soaking wet, but if I had done it alone with him trying to bite and kick me the entire time, he would have gotten seriously hurt and I would have been held blameless due to his assaultive nature(this is the only dude in my career so far that I’ve seen take to and from court in a restraint chair because he refused to comply with ANYTHING, even when they were taking him to court so he could be released). But I made sure I got help so I did it as safely as possible and he did not get hurt. Also fortunately neither me nor my other officers got hurt because he lacked both teeth and significant kicking strength.
          Any other clarifications I need to make or can I sign my report and go home now?

        5. FacelessDeviant

          I mean yes, but we should have a talk about you putting Troll 2, a masterpiece, as a shitty halloween movie on your site 😛

  2. Doctor_Who

    If this was a pay-per-view event, I’d have my credit card out so fast the edges would melt.

    1. chris2315

      *Willis seeing this*

      “Welp, guess I’d better skip over the fight and show it later in a Patreon bonus strip.”

      1. Hilzabub

        Slipshine

        1. SillyGoose

          Yuk.

        2. Ana Chronistic

          More like FLIPshine

          …look, these are the jokes, folks

  3. Robert

    It’s gonna be especially funny when she figures out that Joyce isn’t even up there anymore 😛

    1. Nono

      You know what might not be funny when she finds out who might still be up there?

      Mary.

      1. Devin

        I dunno, that sounds like a showdown for the ages. Where’s my popcorn?

        1. Nono

          I was thinking less ‘showdown’ and more ‘evil Christian team-up’.

        2. chris2315

          I dunno, are they from the same denomination? If not, they might just have an incredibly petty fight instead.

        3. C.T Phipps

          Carol discovers Mary is the daughter she had as a teenager and gave away to other fundamentalists to pay for her college.

          …

          Hell, that’s entirely possible in this comic.

        4. Doctor_Who

          Probably not, unless Mary is a lot older than she looks.

          Remember, Joyce is the youngest of the Browns, and Carol and Hank met in college.

        5. SuperZero

          Was Mary cryogenically frozen until Joyce caught up, or did Joyce age faster than a normal human?

        6. C.T Phipps

          Joyce’s twin by another father (it can happen if conception happens within a couple of days of one another) that she sold for money!

          Okay, okay it was a stupid idea.

        7. woobie

          One allows musical instruments and one is a capella only?

        8. chris2315

          Gasp! Such an irreconcilable difference can only end in a fight to the death!

        9. HoneyThistle

          Well now I’m thinking of a musical thunderdome,
          and honestly I really, really want that now, so thanks,
          I’ll never get that and I’m sad about it.

        10. chris2315

          Ain’t nothing stopping you from writing it!

        11. Gandalf007

          And then the a cappella denomination will experience further schisms over things like supporting missionaries or having kitchens on church premises.

          I wish I were joking.

        12. Dave the Inverted

          Wait…there are *doctrinal disputes* over the presence of kitchens on church premises? On what basis?

        13. clif

          Because of Christ’s sacrifice there’s no longer any need for burnt offerings.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Doubly so when she discovers she’s with Hank. That’s a hydrogen drama bomb waiting to go off!

    3. Geneseepaws

      Omg, wait til Linda finds out she was suplexed by the RA!…. who’s a Lesbian! “My head was WHERE!!”
      I hope that Billie understands that it’s a power play, but it’s not a sexual one.

      1. Mariah Hardnett

        I mean arent ruth and billie canonically bi we know that ruth only dated a guy before . Although I guess joyce mom wouldn’t know or care about the difference

        1. thejeff

          I believe they’re both bi – though it’s certainly possible for a lesbian to have tried dating a guy before realizing where her real interests lay.

  4. Jay M Ferguson

    What an accomplishment in your early twenties. 🙂

    1. Michael Steamweed

      The look of violent joy on Ruth’s face. 🙂

    2. gears

      I banged a grandma in my early twenties. My life’s been a bit strange.

      1. ZerglingOne

        I mean, I’ve known a 37 year old grandma before. The title doesn’t mean a whole lot when you had a kid at 16 and your kid had one at 20.

        1. coma

          This…boggles my mind. I always forget that some people get children when they’re under 20, or in their early 20ies. I’m here like, yo, my sister married some 7 years ago, her highschool sweetheart (got together over 15 years ago), got a son at 30 two years ago and I recently reached the same age and still don’t have any part of my life together (well, if everything goes well the next weeks, I at least have a job I can finally live off while finishing studies)

        2. Rectilinear Propagation

          Fingers and toes crossed you get that job!

        3. Needfuldoer

          I’m convinced the mid-2000s financial crisis (and the anxiety and aftershocks it brought) set us Millennials back at least a decade in comparison to the Boomers and early GenX.

          tfw you realize you remember when your parents were the age you are now and wonder how the hell they did it

        4. ego

          i mean, the relentless and accelerating progression of money flowing uphill *maybe* pertains.

        5. Regalli

          Also the complete stagnation of any hope of even career advancement, much less increased wages.

        6. thejeff

          Quite likely, though us early GenXers were also complaining about the Boomers and wondering how they did it. I graduated in the midst of a smaller recession and didn’t get a decent job for quite a few years, then lost that after the DotCom crash. A lot of my friends were in a similar boat.
          It’s definitely worse now, but those days weren’t the post war boom either.

        7. Ana Chronistic

          Apropos of nothing, the youngest grandmother was 17

          SCARY

  5. Josh Spicer

    Yeah no Carol pretty sure this is where security can drag your ass out kicking and screaming.

    1. JetstreamGW

      I imagine there’s a possibility that Ruth’s authority extends to removing people who make residents feel threatened.

      1. Doctor_Who

        There is. I don’t know if every University is the same, but I was office staff at my dorm (basically Asma’s job), and if a student said they didn’t want a particular family member allowed in, we were to have them removed, no questions asked.

        Generally that meant calling the police, not performing a suplex. But on one memorable occasion I got the fun task of going to the weight room and asking the human refrigerators therein if anyone would like to stand outside a particular door with their arms crossed and glower.

        1. Jon Rich

          That is awesome. Both “human refrigerators” and the very idea of this.

          “I need someone imposing—yes, you, with the biceps, you’ll do—to block a door for a few hours. No one goes in but students and the Residence Hall staff.”

        2. NotPiffany

          I bet their eyes lit up like Christmas.

        3. Eldritchy

          “Finally, my time has come.”
          Said while flexing and Jojo posing

        4. Doctor_Who

          Oh yeah. One guy went to his room to get sunglasses and a tighter shirt.

          I admired his dedication to the role.

        5. StClair

          Ethical opportunities to Loom Menacingly are rare, unless you’re employed as a bouncer.

        6. He Who Abides

          Yo.

        7. He Who Abides

          By which I mean, that’s my job.

        8. Minotaur

          Your name really fits, then.

      2. Bicycle Bill

        I was the campus dispatcher for the University ‘Protective Services’ Department and this is the case.  If the Hall Directors or RAs had problems with people in the dorms, whether they were residents, relatives, or outside persons that the residents had invited over, all they had to do was call us.  Two of the P/S officers would respond, and if they needed additional help the ‘real’ police was just a radio call to me away.

        Although I imagine Ruth to be the kind of person who consider that to be an option only to used as the last resort.

        1. Eldritchy

          Why rely on police brutality if you can enjoy some brutality of your own

        2. clif

          Is this a trick question?

  6. Chris

    I wonder what else is on her list.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Honestly, it’s mostly suplexes on different sorts of people.

      Current status:

      [✓]Cheeleader
      [✓]Clown
      [ ]Granny (Pending)
      [✓]Ice Cream Man
      [ ]Shamwow Guy
      [ ]Ghost (False alarm; was just a regular pale little girl)
      [ ]Mary
      [✓]Degrassi cast member

      1. JaneDoe

        This made me laugh way harder than it should have, so thanks for that ?

      2. Chaucer59

        [] Flex Seal guy
        [] My Pillow guy
        [] Justin Bieber

      3. SuperZero

        So she didn’t even get a point for Blaine?

        1. NotPiffany

          Did you not notice that “Clown” was marked off?

        2. Michael Haneline

          That got a chuckle out of me.

        3. AbelUndercity

          “Creepy men” is an everyday suplex, and wouldn’t make the list.

      4. Undrave

        [✓] Don Cherry

      5. Kamino Neko

        [✓] A Train

        1. StClair

          *plays the FFVI “Victory” theme for you*

        2. fire_daws

          FF VI is severely underrated.

        3. Kamino Neko

          I’m having a ‘Berenstein Bears’ moment, here. IME, VI is consistently ranked as one of the best FFs. In fact, frequently the best.

          (VIII and XII are generally underrated, although they seem to be getting a reappraisal, of late, the same way IX did.)

        4. clif

          [ ] A Truck.

        5. calf

          SUPPLEX WITH INTEGRITY…

        6. Keulen

          Sabin is a goddamn badass.

      6. Regalli

        Beautiful.

      7. Matthew Evan Davis

        So which cast member? I would have gone with Drake, for efficiency since he could count for multiple categories not on the list. Grammy winner, rapper, et al.

        1. Zee

          Drake would also check off clown

      8. bcb

        Also
        []Grandpa (hers, specifically, not just any old grandpa).

  7. Sirksome

    Is she a granny though. Technically it might not count. No points for just an old woman.

    1. JetstreamGW

      They’re hardcore Christians who have several children that have been adults for a long time. She is almost certainly a grandmother.

      1. JetstreamGW

        And then I read the alt text and am legitimately surprised.

        1. Nono

          Not even that surprising. Joyce is still young. Jocelyne isn’t giving her kids anytime soon either. John just got married. That leaves the Jordan enigma, and they’re probably not on that friendly terms?

        2. BBCC

          If Jordan has kids, she almost certainly doesn’t have access to them.

      2. Svata

        according to the alt text she is not. and this upsets her.

      3. He Who Abides

        Alt-text says no.

      4. Yumi

        Hovertext begs to differ

      5. Dara

        Alt text says otherwise:
        “she’s not technically a granny and she’s actually quite sore about it.”

      6. Foxhack

        I heard Carol’s femurs are a nice vintage.

        1. Foxhack

          … This was NOT meant to be a reply.

          Dammit, why does this site keep timing out on me? No other Hiveworks site gives me issues 😐

        2. Needfuldoer

          Ah yes, 1961*, a good year for femurs.

          (* Or whatever [current year – 59] works out to, people reading this in the future. Assuming we survive 2020.)

    2. Sirksome

      Alt text says she’s not a grandma so Ruth gets no bucket list points. But I wonder who wins this matchup? Ruth has reach and youth, but Carol looks like she could hurt someone if she tried and she maybe has that whole righteous fury trait Joyce has. She must of inherited it from someone and Hank doesn’t really seem like a brawler.

      1. SuperZero

        She’s notably lacking in righteousness. I think that’s required for righteous fury.
        And Joyce hasn’t taken down actual combatants, except possibly Mr. MacIntyre. He was on his last hit point and she was still injured in the act. Ruth knows how to fight.

        1. JaneDoe

          Yeah, more like self righteous fury, really.

        2. Undrave

          I wonder if Joyce can access BURNING JUSTICE?! How convincingly do you think she can shout “IT’S OVER NOW, MEGATRON!”

        3. KryssLaBryn

          “All Hail Lord Satan!!” would probably have at least a temporary weakening effect on Linda 😀

        4. Leorale

          Ross is way heavier than Joyce, and she punched him several feet into the air. Even if he’s on his last hit point, that’s powerfully strong.

    3. Johan

      I thought her scam preacher son was pending a baby…

      1. BBCC

        They just got married and he’s planning another missionary trip to India so they’re probably not actively trying just yet.

        1. Droewyn

          Mission work didn’t stop my cousins-in-law, who actually wound up banned from the mission because they had too many children.

  8. Rosicrucian

    “Picked a fight with college staff” will go over well in the divorce hearing.

    1. clif

      Would look impressive on a tombstone as well, as long as we’re fantasizing.

      1. Reltzik

        And don’t forget, on the list of charges at her war crimes tribunal.

  9. Pickacard

    “Dumbing of age book (whatever number we’re on): Time to cross “suplex a granny” off my bucket list”

    1. Zor

      I am completely on-board with this

    2. Chris

      DoA book 10: You’d Be Surprised How Much Stupid Shit I Do.

      1. clif

        And the cover highlighting those maniacally joyful green eyes.

        1. Sombrero

          Great cover to mark a decade of DoA.

  10. Purblebirb

    This is what I’ve been waiting forrrrrr

    1. clif

      Hey, Ruth is enjoying her job today. You should too.

  11. fefex

    SUPLEX SUPLEX SUPLEX SUPLEX SUPLEX!!!

  12. Proxiehunter

    There go her femurs.

  13. Opus the Poet

    I guess we get to see Ruth see how far she can stuff someone’s foot in their ear.

  14. Stephen Bierce

    *cues up Kome Kome Club’s “Gayu” on the hacked Muzak*

    1. Bicycle Bill

      I was waiting for a sound clip of Michael Buffer — “LLLLLET’S GET READY TO RRRUMMMMMBBLLLLLLE!” — followed by the intro to Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger”.

      1. Stephen Bierce

        “Eye of the Tiger” is dead to me, unless it’s the acapella remake (Big Daddy?).

  15. Yumi

    Time to live vicariously!

  16. Nono

    Ruth hasn’t suplexed nearly enough bad parents.

  17. brionl

    My sister has six kids and only one grandkid. So far. And she’s quite sore about it too.
    She hasn’t bailed any kidnappers out of jail though. That I know of.

  18. katerly

    WOW. I was hoping my joke about hard cutting back to Carol fighting her way into the dorm was going to just, a joke.
    I’m so glad Joyce is not in her room right now and doesn’t have to deal with this dumpster fire.

    1. Angel

      I kinda wish Sarah was still in the room to meet her.

      1. Jamie

        I don’t, because I like Sarah.

        1. Michael Steamweed

          I kinda wish Sarah with the baseball bat was still in the room to meet her.

        2. Bicycle Bill

          Who said she isn’t?

        3. Nono

          She’s in the lobby with Dorothy and Joyce.

        4. NotPiffany

          I’m sure Sarah won’t mind if Ruth borrows the bat for a little bit.

        5. Jon Rich

          Was going to say, if Sarah *were* up there, Carol would discover what the wrath of her f***ed up Old Testament God feels like.

        6. JessWitt

          Fun as that idea is, Carol would be the lady walking in the dog and play the “privileged white woman threatened by a black person” card.

  19. Mra

    YAAAAAAAS

  20. Koms

    Just looking at Carol is making my blood boil.

  21. katerly

    I love how gleeful Ruth looks about this! It’s been too long since she has been given free reign to just bash ass.

    1. temperaryobsessor

      A parent is demanding access to their property and doesn’t take no for an answer, finally its just that now that I’m trying to be a better person there are so few guilt free opportunities for violence.

  22. He Who Abides

    Alexa, play “Coming For You”

  23. Nick

    Oh, I am going to ENJOY THIS. *maniacal grin*

    1. Bicycle Bill

      “Oh, this will be FUN! “    (from Hotel Transylvania 2)

  24. Alanari

    She’ll be delighted to find out Joyce decided to see her husband but not her. I’m kind of relieved to see she’s not in the lobby though. It means Joyce can’t run into her by accident.

  25. Dandi_Andi

    Ruth looks genuinely joyful. It’s a really good look on her.

    1. Brooks Flugaur-Leavitt

      I was going to say the same thing. She’s much more expressive here than she has been in the past, and that reads as healthy.

      1. Jon Rich

        Ruth holds a TED Talk: “How I Treated My Depression By Suplexing Shitty Parents.”

        1. Geneseepaws

          Ruth’s new best selling DYI, “How I Suplexxed My Way Out of Depression.“

        2. Reltzik

          A generation later, loads of academic work has been put into proving out the concept, and it has become established medicine. Everyone suffering from depression needs a shitty parent to suplex, and shitty parents are at a premium.

          As usual when there’s a large demand for a small (and ever-shrinking) demand, market forces take over and shitty parents can start naming their price for suplexing rights.

          Mental health care costs soar. Right wing media goes on a collective rant about how the liberalizing of society has squandered the precious resource of shitty parents. An anti-suplexing conspiracy theory truther-movement arises, arguing that suplexing is actually causes all mental health problems and makes parents shitty in the first place.

          Financial speculators begin buying up suplexing rights for no other reason than to resell them at a markup. The increased monetary incentive causes some parents to become shitty just so they can get in on the suplexing money. Rather than helping to alleviate the shortage, the increase in shitty parents (now being deliberately shitty) causes a huge increase in the mental health needs of their children, and the problem gets even worse.

          Eventually the bubble collapses, taking the economy with it. In the aftermath, a law is passed to create a private option for suplexing, and the government gets involved in manufacturing shitty parents. Before long no one has to pay to violently suplex grannies any more. Right wing media pitches a frothing fit, and there is much rejoicing.

        3. clif

          That sounds familiar somehow. Maybe I saw the movie.

  26. Kyrik Michalowski

    Ruth, show no mercy to her. Throw her happy ass out the window if you have to. I’m also ecstatic that Joyce isn’t even up there so Carol’s little tantrum won’t end well, even if Ruth doesn’t stop her.

    I’m curious though, what are the actual rules behind this? Can an R.A. throw a parent out if the child is refusing to see them?

    1. Nevermaker

      Not 100% sure on this, but I’m pretty sure most non-students aren’t even allowed in the dorms unless it’s a visiting day: add in Joyce explicitly refusing her parents up there, and I’m pretty sure what Carol’s doing counts as trespassing. Reasonably sure Ruth has the authority to turn Carol away, if not outright expel her from the premises!

      If I’m mistaken, please correct me!

      1. Axel

        I don’t know about IU but that’s definitely not true about universities here. They are probably easy to remove with surgery though

        1. Axel

          *security. in my experience, surgery can be difficult to get approved

        2. Needfuldoer

          But how else is Ruth going to claim her femur prizes? Those are normally inside people.

    2. Moriarty70

      Don’t give Willis ideas. If Ruth defenistrates Carol, DoA rules stat the body must fall in front of Joyce and the blood of her now much flatter mother will splash on her face.

    3. SeanR

      Most likely. I know that even a minor, if he or she is a college student, is exempt from having a parent get to read their records. I suspect, in this instance, the parent is guilty of trespassing, even if their name is on the checks that pay for the tuition.

    4. brionl

      She can probably call campus security to toss Carol out. Suplex a grannie, not so much.

      1. SuperZero

        If Carol attacks her, she can. If she intentionally provokes Carol into attacking her so that she can justify premeditated violence as self-defense… less so. But she might get away with it, or think she can.

        But while Ruth employs force, and not always justified, she threatens more than she acts.

        1. SeanR

          Does forcibly shoving her aside to gain the access that she was explicitly denied count? I feel it should. I mean, not up to striking her, but pinning her in a wrestling move?

        2. SuperZero

          Sort of, but it’s also over. Retaliation isn’t self-defense. You need to be stopping them from doing a thing, not just responding to a thing they’ve already done.
          Also your response is supposed to be proportional.

          Ruth probably also has specific rules she’s supposed to be following and likely isn’t. It’s her job to keep Carol out, but I doubt it’s her job to engage if Carol shoves past her.

        3. SuperZero

          (I am not a lawyer.)

        4. temperaryobsessor

          Its just after the attack yesterday I didn’t want to discount the possibility that visiting parents could be dangerous to my resadents.

      2. Nick

        Considering that Ruth’s signature threat is to “beat you to death with your own femurs,” I think it’s safe to assume that she doesn’t always mean exactly what she says. She suplexed Blaine, but he literally attacked her. When it comes to preventative violence, she’ll probably just pin or otherwise restrain Carol.

    5. SuperZero

      Even on Parent Day, Ruth had a list of approved visitors. When she caught Blaine chasing Amber, she beat him up.

  27. Reltzik

    … so Carol’s going to spend the night in jail for tresspassing, I take it.

    1. Leorale

      Blaine bails her out, the terrible cycle continues forever

      1. Needfuldoer

        Or worse, they meet at the jail.

    2. Chris Phoenix

      That’s OK, her church will bail her out.

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        They can’t, they’re out of money from having bailed out Ross.

        1. Michael Steamweed

          I’m sure they can still get emergency loans, second mortgages, maybe sell a kidney or two.

        2. Opus the Poet

          But you would have to be really desperate to take one of those kidneys.

          Thing is I know people who are that desperate, so take that as you will.

        3. Reltzik

          Most people don’t want a kidney unless they really need it.

        4. Leorale

          I just collect kidneys! Maybe it’s for an art project! Don’t ask questions! Idk, I just want organs!

        5. EspanolBot

          Carol: “Man, good thing we’ve got Joyce’s tutition money, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to afford my legal costs!”
          Ruth: “Wait, doesn’t that mean Joyce won’t be able to afford to come here?”
          Carol: “Good thing too, this is a wicked sinful place! I heard that they’ve had a gun-wielding lunatic wandering the grounds TWICE in the space of a year!”

        6. Corneel

          Since Hank is most probably the breadwinner, them being good christians, I don’t think it’s going to work out like that.

  28. Nevermaker

    Oh, this is going to be cathartic as FUCK.

  29. Bodmans

    I think I might be missing something in translation, what does the “One side” mean? That they’re on the same side? Move away?

    1. BBCC

      Short for ‘move to one side’.

    2. Julez

      (Move to) one side. Basically, get out of my way.

    3. Mra

      As in : “get to one side” because by standing in the middle she is blocking Carol’s path.

    4. Jamie

      The idiom is originally British, I believe; it comes from back when most people were pedestrians and needed to clear a path for mounted folk to speed through without collateral damage.

      I’m surprised to see a Midwesterner use it, honestly. But I could also hear Jonathan Groff singing Carol’s theme song, so maybe it fits.

      1. Kinoko

        I’m British (I mean, originally, I immigrated to the US as a teen) and I’ve never heard it before.

        1. Andrusi

          It might be one of those things the British invented, used, got Americans using, and then stopped using themselves. Like imperial measurements.

        2. Michael Chandra

          Idunno, last time I was in the UK, they still used the British Pound. badumtish

        3. Reltzik

          And it’s not like we here in America use the hogshead.

        4. KryssLaBryn

          I’m Canadian and definitely heard it growing up in western Canada, but now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve heard it in actual use since like the mid-Eighties at the very latest.

          The mounted riders in Medieval Britain had bells on so pedestrians could hear them coming and move their asses. Hung from the stirrups or other bits of the harness.

          You may remember the old nursery rhyme, “With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, she shall have music wherever she goes.” That’s why the bells on the toes of the lady riding the horse.

      2. Tan

        While I can neither confirm nor deny the origins, it’s been a part of American English for longer than I’ve been alive.

  30. Julez

    Carol, in all her futile glory.

  31. Cholma

    Aww yeah! Someone’s about to get a well deserved ass-kicking! (probably the first time someone has stood up to her in her life)

  32. BBCC

    GET HER RUTH.

  33. Mra

    Heh. Even if she does make it past Ruth, Joyce has already left.

    1. SeanR

      Ah, but the longer she is delayed here, the more time Joyce, Hank, and crew can get away to have a meal in peace.
      And the, oh, so satisfying moment, when, as the actual police are dragging her away in handcuffs, Ruth gets to inform her that Joyce left for dinner with friends before she had arrived.

    2. SuperZero

      Ruth has been instructed to protect Joyce from Carol. Ruth is doing a good job, not giving her hints about Joyce’s present location.

  34. ScarletSabre

    Oh PLEASE don’t pussy out on this smackdown, Willis. PLEASE.

    1. Chris Phoenix

      I think the expression “pussy out” to indicate weakness may have expired.

      1. Andrusi

        ruth: less
        granny: suplexed
        pu[JOKE BLOCKED BY ANDRUSI QUALITY CONTROL]

      2. Azhrei Vep

        It really should be more “Balls out” or “Scrote out”. As Betty White kindly pointed out, using “pussy” to refer to something as weak is ridiculous. A pussy really take a pounding. Balls? Not so much.

        1. Sam

          Well, the origin of pussy was originally either from an old Norse word puss for pocket pouch (an item of clothing), from the word pusillanimous which means cowardly, or from the word puss for cat. It wasn’t originally a sexual word at all, it converted to one over time but retained both the meanings for pusillanimous and puss as well. The meaning used in phrases is the coward one but unfortunately, because it has sexual connotations now, it has unfortunate implications.

        2. thejeff

          Not necessarily sexual, but the association with women – effeminate, female, weak.
          Pusillanimous is generally considered not related and the cat version seems better attested than the old Norse origin. It was for a time used as a positive, if condescending, term for women.

        3. Portland

          Don’t pusillanimous out on this!

        4. Kamino Neko

          It does not come from pusillanimous. There is no good evidence of it at all.

          The etymology of the ‘weakling’ definition – affectionate term for a cat -> affectionate term for a woman or girl -> term for an effeminate man -> insult for a weakling or coward – is well attested.

          The use for the vulva and vagina is a little less clear – it’s either from the ‘pouch’ etymology, or a branch off of the ‘cat’ etymology, via synecdoche from the ‘woman or girl’ definition, or possibly one influenced the other.

          But the ‘weakling’ definition doesn’t come from the ‘genitals’ definition – there’s just a good chance that they share a derivation.

      3. Corneel

        “pussy” has more than one meowning.

    2. Shen Hibiki

      The joys of not-actually-speaking-english. I never, until now, put two and two together on what people meant with “pussy” in the “don’t pussy out” context.
      I always assumed “small cat”, given “scaredy cat” is an usual concept. So for me, “don’t pussy out” was akin to “don’t run away like a scared kitten”

      … now I see some used it differently. ._.

      1. thejeff

        The origins are obscure, as in most slang, but it seems that the derivation goes from “cat” to “affectionate term for women” to “weak effeminate man” and “vagina”, both by association with the affectionate term for women.

  35. StClair

    Take her femurs!

  36. Fezzam

    Instructions to not let her up *here*? Shouldn’t Ruth have been ground floor then? Also it appears she doesn’t toss her back in the elevator but instead down the hall toward the rooms.

    1. Swissaboo

      If there’s more than one way up to the floor, which there almost certainly is, then being on the floor is probably a better way of keeping who aren’t supposed to be on the floor, not on the floor, because if you’re downstairs it just takes 10 seconds looking at the elevator when you need to be looking at the stairs.

    2. SuperZero

      I don’t think she kicked her. I think she’s marching after her.
      I could be wrong.

      1. Droewyn

        I mean a back kick isn’t a suplex, so…

  37. Kernanator

    You kids and your “OK Boomer”s. Back in my day, when you wanted to be dismissive of anybody older than you, you called them “Grandpa” or “Grandma”.

    1. woobie

      My daughter does this.
      To me.

      1. Hazel

        She has learned well!

  38. Nono

    On an unrelated note, I know that several people have definitely been suffering the site slowdown for a while now (likely due to the Hiveworks banner?). I don’t know how much jurisdiction Willis has over it, but I hope either him or whatever that’s behind the slowdown hammers it out soon, because it does discourage me from checking the comments more often.

    1. Reltzik

      I think it has something to do with the hostile redirects that were creeping their way in through the ads a few days ago. This slowdown is what replaced them, and I’m guessing they’re trying to figure out how to get rid of them entirely.

  39. RedCat

    I find it humorous that she went up the elevator just when Joyce arrived down in the hall. Good timing.
    Now suplex that granny.

  40. C.T Phipps

    That’s the Ruth I love! Yes, indulge in violence and nihilism!

    Be true to yourself!

  41. T Campbell

    Not as sore as she’s about to be, alt text!

    I appreciate that David understands that even rotten characters need some degree of complexity, an identifiable point of view, and traits that, if not strictly “likable,” are at least enjoyable to watch.

    Carol is utterly incapable of accepting that she’s the one fucking up her family relationships, and if she’d pulled this shit ten minutes ago when Joyce was still up here, it would’ve been even more of a disaster for her than it’s about to be. But even so, there’s a sort of twisted pseudo-heroic spirit to her refusal to back down in the face of Ruth. It’s the sort of thing Joyce herself might do, if properly motivated by a crisis with her loved ones. And it gives this clash a lot more chemistry.

    1. SuperZero

      Except Ruth has been specifically instructed to stop her for a reason. Carol knows that reason.

      I can’t say that’s not Joyce-like, but it’s not exactly her best trait.

      1. Maemae

        Plus there’s the fact that it’s a 98% chance that Carol isn’t intending to really comfort Joyce at all. Judging from her words earlier, and that initial phone call after the first kidnapping (‘At least he thought he was doing the right thing,’ ‘I would die for you’), I’d bet that Carol is less concerned with comforting Joyce and more concerned with ensuring this won’t turn her against the church.

        1. MsM

          I mean, in Carol’s mind, reminding her that Jesus loves her and God has a plan and part of that plan involves obeying her parents probably is comforting her.

        2. Needfuldoer

          She’s probably planning to grab Joyce by the wrist and drag her back home to La Porte.

        3. DalNiente

          That’s my theory.

        4. James

          Don’t jump to conclusions.

          She’s probably planning to guilt, yell, and/or generally harangue Joyce into doing it “willingly” first.

        5. JustAName

          She might not even be trying to hurt Joyce. It’s very possible that she was/is genuinely trying to comfort her, she just has a very different view of what there is to be comforted about.

          To Carol, the biggest tragedy of the night wasn’t the fact that several children got kidnapped (and might’ve even been killed if things had gone differently). It was that a good man died trying to help his daughter.

          It was same thing during the first kidnapping. Becky being kidnapped was irrelevant (children should obey their parents anyway), the real tragedy was how Ross got arrested for being a good parent, trying to help his (sinful) daughter.

        6. T Campbell

          Yeah, MsM hit it pretty well: there’s no difference in Carol’s eyes, because Carol is absolutely sure that greater happiness awaits Joyce in this world and the next if she remains faithful to God and the church and “her people,” which is all one as far as Carol’s concerned. She expects to find Joyce confused and angry but able to be led back to the flock with firm moral guidance. “We estranged Jordan from us by not squeezing hard enough!”

          Hank, who’s left other churches for violations a lot less severe than this one, isn’t buying that.

        7. Kimberly

          “We don’t know that these folks are monsters yet. They could still be people.”

          Hank has his answer now…

    2. Newllend(henryvolt)

      Another thing with Carol is that it seems sort of obvious to everyone but her that she’s doing more harm than good. From the last few strips she’s been in, she seems to give everyone the feeling that the only way she was even going to consider the possibility that she made the wrong choice is if her decision did end up getting Joyce killed instead of just nearly.

      By that standard of logic I wouldn’t stick around her if I were Joyce. But at the same time Joyce has made a number of mistakes as well (Not on the same scale when it comes to her mother but still) when it comes to doing something with what she seems to be “The right intentions” but the difference is when Joyce messes up and ends up possibly wronging someone she cares for she at least owns up to it and seeks to correct herself, instead of being in denial about it.

      That’s where the similarities and differences between them end for me.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Carol’s a a living embodiment of the “am I so out of touch” Principal Skinner meme.

  42. Jezi

    Over the course of this strip I’ve watched so many arguments happen down here about the moral defensibility of characters’ actions, quite frequently Ruth’s in particular.

    I doubt it’s going to be anywhere near unanimous, but I doubt the comment section has ever been so strongly in Ruth’s favor.

    1. SuperZero

      She’s a little eager to get in a fight. That’s bad, right?

      Actually I kinda think it’s just part of her intimidation style… but oh! That’s her first response to everything, even though it’s rarely the best first response! And that’s terrible.
      …except this is a pretty good time for it. Carol’s behaving almost exactly like Blaine was when Ruth said similar things to him. She made him run away, so that would be nice.

    2. Maemae

      I think it’s less a matter of people encouraging Ruth’s sketchy morals, and moreso people just wanting to see Carol get the shit beaten out of her.

      1. Jezi

        Yeah, that’s why I phrased it the way I did. It’s not that Ruth’s tendencies are any less concerning, just that nobody cares about that right now.

        (That said, I think even Ruth knows how bad the optics of attacking a kidnapping victim’s panicked mother would be, and is enough stronger than Carol that she can just get her by the shoulders and hold/pin her back. )

    3. Mariah Hardnett

      Ruth is a chaotic neutral always has been her violence has always been cartoonish and unrealistic but it’s fun to watch when aimed at the right

    4. Jamie

      It’s a touch gonzo for Ruth to actually physically harm Carol, but stepped down from comic-book logic to real-world logic and Ruth is pretty much in her rights.

      Like, Blaine pretty much took no damage from that suplex; he merely lost a minute or two of chase time. Under those kinds of physics, the usage of force is much more justifiable.

  43. ColdFury

    Is there like a Slipshine site for battle comics? I think “Ruth Suplexes a Granny” would sell pretty well.

    1. Hilzabub

      Maybe for sexy battle comics. I’m not sure how that would work in this case. Maybe Carol’s clothes stay firmly on.

      1. Peter Huppertz

        Let’s hope so.

        1. KryssLaBryn

          Maybe Billie comes out to help and clothing gets dislodged and Carol (still fully-clothed) ends up pinned under a couple of half-naked, horny lesbians making out (because they can’t get off her because that would allow her to get up and get away; but also they are horny teens, either actually or basically still, ha ha).

          Bonus points if Carol is kinda turned on by it and discovers something she finds fairly horrifying out about herself.

          Ooh! maybe she is so disturbed by it (I mean, it’s obviously God punishing her for her sinful family she’s raised) that she checks herself into that facility Toedad was trying to haul Becky off to, realizes that the methods they use are actual literal torture (and also don’t work), and comes to some devastating conclusions about conversion “therapy,” sexuality, and the kind of people who would force this onto someone they supposedly love, especially if they are a child, let alone the type of people that would do this to children in the first place.

          And about what kind of person that makes her for not only condoning Ross’s actions, but actively abetting him* the second time around.

          Sexual schadenfreude is is everyone’s fetish, ha ha

        2. KryssLaBryn

          * Actually, if you get someone in jail for kidnapping out on bail (like, if you raise his bail and pay it off) knowing full well that he intends to repeat his illegal action of kidnapping someone (and I’m pretty sure that is a federal crime) as soon as he’s out, because you support that kidnapping (and have done so vociferously, publicly, and repeatedly), does that count as aiding and abetting that criminal in the commission of his second crime?

          Is Carol/her church/anyone who actively helped to raise or contributed money for his bail/whoever actually went and paid the bail money off (or provided it to Ross’s lawyer to do so) potentially an accessory? Does Carol go to jail??

          Because frankly that would be pretty cool to see (although not sure how cool it would be for Joyce; SO MANY mixed feelings, I suspect!!).

        3. Rabid Rabbit

          You’d have to prove they knew he was going to, which would be difficult, to say the least.

        4. Regalli

          I mean, was it incredibly foreseeable? Yes. If you could come up with a but-for justification to actually sue them for as a civil tort, you could probably get a jury to rule in your favor by the preponderance of evidence standard. But even without the church, Blaine was still completely able and completely motivated to get involved, so they’re lacking cause here with which to actually sue.

          Aiding and abetting would be criminal charges, but the burden of proof is much higher. Basically, the only kind of suit you could actually bring is of the nuisance variety, and banking on no one in the church knowing enough about legal standards to contest and call for dismissal.

  44. Midnight Jon

    I want panel 4 but bigger because it encapsulates literally everything about me as a person.

    1. Needfuldoer

      That one panel would make a great fridge magnet.

  45. Ryek Hvek

    About now, the Walkerton parents waving lawyers at Carol might shift gears and move on to an order of protection for their student children against Carol and her entire church congregation. Hank won’t mind, he was planning on sh!tcanning his membership.

    1. Reltzik

      I’m not saying that there isn’t some degree of justification to this, though I think it might be an overstep.

      But either way I’m pretty sure there isn’t legal basis for it. She HASN’T harassed other students besides her own child, aside from shouldering her way past Ruth she’s not interacted with any other students at all, and the only heated argument she’s gotten in here (despite how poorly she’s behaved in it), she was not the instigator and it was with an adult. There’d be no basis in evidence for assuming she was likely to go after everyone else’s children. Same with everyone else in the church. They showed execrable judgement bailing out Toedad, but no malice.

      Also, parents don’t have standing to sue on behalf of their adult children, except in a few pretty rare cases.

      Joyce would have a case for the protective order against Carol specifically, since Carol (a relation by blood) has placed her in fear of physical harm. (That’s one of the things that qualifies as meeting the domestic abuse standard for issuing a protective order in Indiana.) And the University could come down on Carol specifically for forcing her way into the dorms without permission and contrary to official warning. It’s easily within their authority to ban her from the campus. But that’s about it.

      1. temperaryobsessor

        Linda could approach Joyce about getting an order of protection is she knew, but doing so would be setting a bad precedent.

      2. Ryek Hvek

        I still would enjoy how a court order proceeding might play out, with Carol’s usual shtick going over like legal lead balloons.

  46. tim gueguen

    And this is where we find out that Carol practiced Daito ryu Aiki-jujutsu before she was Born Again.

  47. BigDogLittleCat

    Ruth, you might want to just let her go. Remember who *is* still in the room. Sarah. Big sister Sarah. With her bat.

    1. whatevsman

      ok, but consider

      Ruth letting her go for the prospect of a tag team

    2. Maemae

      Sarah’s not in the room, though? She just left with Joyce and the Keeners, right?

      1. BigDogLittleCat

        Brain spasm on my part!

    3. SeanR

      Sarah was down in the lobby just a couple strips ago.

    4. BigDogLittleCat

      DERP. No she’s not. Sarah is going to lunch.
      Must have been wishful thinking.

  48. poofdepoof

    Ooooh I’m so glad Joyce is already downstairs… (I mean, sure, Ruth’s probably got this, but it’s nice to have more than one card in play, you know?)

  49. EvilMidnightLurker

    I keep getting Sea Hag vibes from Carol lately. Pretty sure the Sea Hag is a better person though.

    1. JessWitt

      Funnier too with Randy Milholland as the artist.

  50. Rani

    Hey everybody currently hyped for a Ruth/Carol throwdown: why are none of you entertaining the very strong possibility Carol has a concealed carry permit?

    1. C.T Phipps

      Honestly, I suspect she’d consider that unwomanly.

      1. SeanR

        Campuses are typically one of the places you AREN’T allowed to carry.

        1. SuperZero

          And she has such a strong respect for lawfulness.

        2. SeanR

          Getting caught with a gun in one of the places you are lawfully NOT permitted to carry one is a good way to never be able to legally own a gun ever again. I don’t know about Indiana law, but if the state laws say no guns on campus, you better not have one on you if there is any likelihood of them discovering it. Got in an altercation while trespassing in a dorm, and then having your purse “inventoried pursuant to arrest” would be one of those times.

          What’s more, I could see BEING armed where you weren’t supposed to be, being used as an amplifier for charges, turning what may have been a short sentence into a longer one. I don’t know that this is so, but it’s something that would certainly be in the back of my head if I was doing something that I knew could come back on me.

        3. Opus the Poet

          It used to be a Federal law against carrying on any educational campus (Gun-free/drug-free zone), but given the current climate I don’t know how that is going these days.

        4. SeanR

          The federal government backed off some time back, but the “Interstate Commerce” excuse may still be held as valid.

        5. Kalirren

          IU Bloomington has a specific policy against possessing firearms on campus that applies regardless of any permit to carry, except for law enforcement officers authorized by their agencies.

    2. HoneyThistle

      As a known associate of the now deceased madman who recently threatened a bunch of students on campus with a gun while kidnapping his daughter, you really think they would let her onsite with a firearm?
      I mean, they might, but holy-moly I hope not. Lawsuit in the making.

      1. Norah

        If she had it in her purse, how would they know?

        1. HoneyThistle

          If campus security didn’t search them on the way in (again, as known associates of a gunman who recently kidnapped a student) they are literally BEGGING for a lawsuit.

        2. Yumi

          How does campus security work in the version you’re used to? Because in my experience, campus security doesn’t search people on the way in. They’re not even at the entrances.

        3. HoneyThistle

          Honestly, campus security as I know of it is pretty lax, I’m just hoping special precautions would have been taken with these particular visitors, because, well, REASONS. GOOD ONES.

        4. SuperZero

          Is this a closed-in campus? Where I went to school, you had to get in through a gate (but could potentially slip in through an unmanned gate), but my sister’s campus was just… part of the city.

          If she had to pass a gate, she presumably would not be let in at all. Joyce might not have looked into getting her blacklisted, but given the present circumstances she must have been meeting with authorities so it would have come up. While I knew people who were blacklisted but managed to get it, security would be paying attention to her since she’s new to the list and a whole big thing just happened.
          But that only matters if she had to pass through a gate.

        5. Jamie

          The ending chase scene of the kidnapping had the white unmarked van heading into campus. It’s not closed.

        6. Needfuldoer

          The campus kind of blends into the rest of the town, it’s not fenced and gated off or anything.

          It’s not an uncommon arrangement for small college towns in the US.

        7. SuperZero

          From what I understand, my school’s gated campus was unusual. And it was still possible to enter through an unmanned gate, if you followed a student or asked nicely and one let you in (I was let out by a student when I was visiting campus, although that’s probably an easier sell).
          And there were at least two incidents while I was there when blacklisted people made it in through security. It was tight at night, but during the day it’s not like they check everybody’s name. The guard’s overlooked it.

          One of the two did actually fire a gun on campus, but he only shot himself (and it wasn’t a suicide. He only injured himself. On purpose. Nobody was quite clear on why. Intimidation without actually threatening somebody directly with the gun, I guess?). It was weird, and we were locked down very briefly because security was… kind of confused. “All students and faculty remain indoors. Lock doors if possible. Do not let strangers in. There has been an incident.” What kind of incident? Turned out they were vague because the reports didn’t make sense so they assumed they were missing something, but nope the thing just didn’t make sense.

      2. thejeff

        Even if there were security, she’d be more likely treated as “parent of victim” than “associate of kidnapper”, unless Joyce had requester otherwise.

    3. Nono

      There was also a brief conversation at church where she was seen telling someone that Hank needs to get a gun for the squirrels in their yard.

      Based on this, it seems more likely that she’s been pushing Hank to get the permit, if anything.

      1. tim gueguen

        Yeah, Carol has more of the ” We have to be ready for when the SocialistLGBTQMuslims come to get us!” vibe to her than Hank.

      2. SeanR

        The proper gun for a squirrel is either a .22 rimfire rifle or a shotgun. While .22 handguns are common enough, the impression I got from that comment was to get a long-gun. Something suitable for shooting squirrels.

        1. thejeff

          Agreed, but the impression was also that they didn’t have a gun at all.

    4. Jamie

      Because we already have a character in the hospital and narrative laws of conservation suggest we therefore won’t have another, and that was also already bending Willis’ self-imposed Word on what would happen.

    5. Michael Steamweed

      The instant she uses that pistol (if she has one) in a college resident hall, in which she is trespassing, in our world, she commits a felony. Currently, no Indianan university allows firearms. (Can’t say for the comic’s timeline.)

    6. Solenoid

      I’m not entertaining it b/c willis isn’t gonna have a character die here. Comic’s too small for two murderers. In fact, Carol packing heat would make Ruth’s kneejerk violence retroactively 100% justified.

    7. Andrusi

      Leading to a storyline in which a shared parental figure to the Joyce+Becky duo, upon being prevented from being awful to their daughter, starts threatening people with a gun on campus? That seems familiar for some reason.

  51. timemonkey

    I totally hope in a few days we see her getting dragged off campus by cops.

  52. Maemae

    I’m so proud of Ruth for channeling her anger into much more beneficial, productive outlets.

    Namely, beating the shit out of Joyce’s mom.

  53. abysswatcher1993

    Go Ruth go!

  54. Robert

    The last several strips have reminded me to thank Bokrug the Great Green Water Lizard for the parents I had.

    In real life, the more I learn about some other people’s parents, the more I love mine. I’m glad that I let them know that while they were alive.

  55. SeanR

    Okay. I’m trying to figure out something. What IS Carol’s objective here? Try to browbeatconvince Joyce to take her side? Blame Joyce for her soon-to-be failing marriage? What?

    1. SeanR

      Darn it. The tags I put around browbeat got deleted.

    2. Wraithy2773

      I honestly don’t think she knows. It’s probably along the lines of:

      1: Find Joyce.

      2: Tell Joyce she did nothing wrong.

      3: ????

      4: Everything’s better!

    3. SeanR

      Darn it again. The less-than delete greater-than tags I put around browbeat got deleted. Then deleted again in my reply.

      1. SuperZero

        Those are used in formatting code here. Where you trying to strike it?

        1. SeanR

          Yes.

        2. SuperZero

          If you look under the text box when you’re typing, there’s a list of a few of the codes you can use. Striking involves actually writing out the word “strike”. “S” is an option, but I’m not sure what it does if not striking?

          Let’s find out!

        3. SuperZero

          Okay, so there are two ways to strike text. Nevermind.

        4. Bicycle Bill

          I prefer to do it t⃥h⃥i⃥s⃥ ⃥w⃥a⃥y⃥ like this.

        5. Andrusi

          For me that just puts a box after every letter.

      2. Chris

        “Delete” is not on the approved html list. “Strike” is.

    4. bryy

      Judging by her body language, and that she most likely was on the receiving end of Sarah’s “FUCK YOU”, try to kidnap her own daughter.

      Who has bets on Carol not even hugging Joyce whe she sees her?

    5. BigDogLittleCat

      I suspect it’s nothing more than exerting control. Hank just walked out on her so she has to control *someone* How dare Joyce refuse to see her!!!

    6. Jamie

      It’s not in her conscious mind, but what she wants is to see and hear Joyce submitting to her authority. It matters less what Joyce does or thinks or feels and more how Joyce responds when challenged.

    7. Solenoid

      Most likely to drag her out of college entirely. You know, the Blaine motive with added “Because God”

    8. hallucigenia

      Speaking from personal experience, I’d guess that the goal is to browbeat Joyce back into that nice pliant haze you get conditioned into after a lifetime of gaslighting and emotional control, so that she’ll absorb whatever framing Carol wants to put on the situation and agree to whatever Carol asks her to do.

      ASK ME HOW I KNOW 😀 😀 😀

  56. Kitschensyngk

    Let my femurs go.

  57. synnerman

    To quote Bernie Mac from Charlies Angels 2:

    “Get that ******! Get her!*

  58. Aprion

    Go for it Ruth. Supplex the bongo straight through the floor.

  59. zelgato

    I”m just so very glad Ruth gets so much good screen time lately.
    I really like “happy ish and dealing with it’ ruth
    makes me feel better about myself

    1. Shariku

      Me too. It would be so easy to let her fade in the background now that the most strikingly worst parts of her character arc have been addressed. That we get to see her be happier is fantastic.

    2. Regalli

      Right? Antidepressants work wonders. (I do strongly suspect we aren’t done with Sir yet, so I’m sure she’ll get time to be stressed out in the limelight eventually, but for now? It’s so nice.)

  60. Jane

    …Yeah, Carol, because the university is seriously going to side with you over the RA being “overzealous” in protecting the kidnapping victims in the dorm. When there have been two kidnapping incidents already that year. Both of whom were parents kidnapping their adult children. And your church was the one who bailed out one of the perpetrators.

    Like, even if it wasn’t the obviously correct choice from nearly any perspective… Can you imagine the PR fallout if they were to discipline Ruth over this, and Joyce mentioned it to the press? They’re probably already scrambling to try avoid the reputation of “That school were a bunch of students were kidnapped by fanatics”… They’re not going to side with the people making their PR issues worse.

    Ruth would have to actually seriously hurt Carol here before it would be “stupid” of her to intervene, I think.

    1. Shariku

      That probably explains how Carol has ended up on the no-access-permitted list as fast as this. Walky’s mom has already been on the phone with the Dean and he so doesn’t want the PR-hell that is anything that may suggest for a second that the University supports the kidnappers in any way.

      To be fair, Hank is probably on the list too just as a precaution.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Well, getting on that list is probably as simple as Joyce saying “I don’t want my parents on our floor if they show up”.

        1. thejeff

          And it’s probably just Ruth’s list, not anything more official.

        2. Needfuldoer

          It could be both! Ruth is probably supposed to pass requests like that up the chain of command.

          Carol probably shouldn’t have made it as far as she has, but real campus security didn’t stop her.

        3. thejeff

          Because the campus doesn’t have that kind of security. Nobody at the gate checking ids, because there is no gate.

        4. Needfuldoer

          You’d think they’d at least station a rent-a-cop in the lobby of the residence hall half a dozen students were abducted from two nights ago…

        5. Regalli

          Yeah, unless they went straight to the access forms (and/or Puddinghead) I doubt it’s official, but Ruth knows damn well when to tell a parent that little detail or not.

    2. HMH

      “…Yeah, Carol, because the university is seriously going to side with you over the RA being “overzealous” in protecting the kidnapping victims in the dorm. When there have been two kidnapping incidents already that year. Both of whom were parents kidnapping their adult children. And your church was the one who bailed out one of the perpetrators.”

      I mean, have you considered she’s a white christian? The cops will show up, shoot Sal, and leave. Maybe they’ll grope Ruth a bit, if they find out she’s a lesbian. Standard pig thugs doing standard pig shit.

      1. C.T Phipps

        The FBI finally put White Racist terrorist groups on….the terrorist lists. SO its possible.

        Not LIKELY but possible.

        Roll a 100 on the 1d100.

        1. Reltzik

          *rolls 00*

          …. huh. These dice don’t actually go to 100.

  61. BlackScarabZ

    Looks like someone just signed away their rights to keep their femurs intact…

  62. Yotomoe

    Hmmm…Hot? Yeah I think I’m gonna say hot.

  63. FirePrincessLily

    I’d date Ruth for this alone.

  64. DT

    As hyped as I am for this, I just know Willis will somehow take this joy away from us.
    It’s his M.O. at this point.

    1. Undrave

      DAMN YOU, WILLIS!!!

  65. ProjectXa3

    DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

  66. Rikunda

    I really want to see this happen! Does that make me bad?

    Also she is not a granny. Age doesn’t make grandkids appear.

  67. Kensou

    95% of brain: BOOYAH, suplexing horrible human being time!
    5% of brain: I’m vaguely worried that Carol’s claim that Ruth would be stupid to get in her way could have some legitimacy… Ah well, wait and see.

  68. Quietlythundering

    Well, Ruth, time to become the bouncer you were always meant to be.

  69. General Tekno

    God, I’m reading this and going “the next phase after she gets turfed is going to be when she calls in the “Christian” influencers, isn’t it?”

    (I put Christian in quotes because I don’t consider a lot of those assholes to be embodying the principles of the texts they purport to extol.)

  70. Solenoid

    She’s going to be quite sore about quite a few other things shortly, I think. Sore about her femurs, sore about her kidneys, sore about her spleen, etc…

  71. NinjaNick

    Ninja style, Ruth. We’ll find out who’s stupid now.

  72. Eldritchy

    So… does Carol get to be escorted out in handcuffs for causing a scene? Please let her get escorted out in handcuffs.

    1. Rachel McCall

      With what Ruth has planned, I’m expecting a stretcher

      1. Eldritchy

        She is going to recreate a WHOLE Wrestling season on Carol.

  73. Kenny

    Technically, Ruth has no idea who this person is, her charges just escaped from a horrific kidnapping event. The school dorms are private property meaning consequences for Ruth doing anything would be slim, considering all the crap shes gotten away with before,

    Plus I really really really wanna see Carol get her ass kicked. Or heart smashed. Or some sort of Karma event happen to her to make her regret some of her life choices.

    1. Rikunda

      Didn’t they meet at the start of the school year? It is usually typical for all parents to meet the RA when their kid moves into the dorms.

    2. DaveM

      Even if she gets the snot beaten out of her, Carol will justify it as being a martyr for her faith. And the same people of her church who disapproved of Joyce and Becky (for the Wrist Brace and the Haircut) as “not keeping things to themselves” and “playing it up for attention” will honour her for her “steadfastness against the forces of the unholy”. Her sort almost never learn, they double down instead.

    3. Regalli

      Ruth has met the Browns (or saw them around in Freshman Family Weekend) to know who they are, but Joyce has almost certainly told Ruth to keep them out herself.

      And since the LAST parent to try and muscle their way in on ‘I’m her (parent), of course I have the right to see my property daughter!” has since gone on to kidnap his daughter and then murder someone, well. Ruth has some reason to be a bit overzealous, no?

  74. Bagge

    I’m so sad Ruth never got the chance to kick the snot out of Toedad. She should have had the whole set.

  75. Hilzabub

    Maybe Puddinghead saw into the future, and realized Ruth was exactly the right choice for RA.

    1. Bagge

      Kicking the shit out of abusive parents is her greatest skill as an ra

  76. foducool

    “oh boy, here I go maiming again”

  77. BenRG

    Carol, this is probably a seriously bad idea on your part. Ruth has personal issues with abusive parental figures which she’d love to work out on you! Add onto that the number of trespass issues the university has had recently and she’ll probably get a commendation for violently restraining you!

  78. Terah

    What does Carol even plan to say to Joyce?

    “Joyce, you’ve been through a horrible trauma, I want you to know Jesus wanted this for you, because Becky is a Lesbian and going to Hell”?

    1. BenRG

      She’s not planning on saying anything. Other than maybe: “Pack, you’re coming home and I’m finding a nice Christian husband for you.”

    2. DaveM

      More like “Joyce, when you’ve calmed down and thought about this you’ll realise that everything I and the church did was right and proper, and that none of this would have happened if Becky hadn’t disobeyed her father. And that’s the real lesson here, you’ll always be safe provided you obey and submit to your parents in every way”.

      1. C.T Phipps

        “Joyce, Becky helped kill her father. We have to take her down. I have guns in my car. Your father thinks they’re for fighting Antifa.”

      2. ischemgeek

        Having a mom pretty close to a Carol, I think you’re both too transparent about it. My money is on a guilt trip where she pretends getting kidnapped & physically assaulted is God’s wrath for straying from his teaching and implying it’s all Joyce’s fault for not betraying Becky. But like, through implications and double speak so if Joyce gets angry she can play the victim.

        Think less angry pastor, more Mother Gothel from Tangled.

    3. Bagge

      Something like this

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/02-to-remind-you-of-my-love/therightthing/

      1. ischemgeek

        That or her I’d die for you speech.

        She doesn’t want to browbeat Joyce into submission, she wants to plant seeds of guilt so Joyce tears herself apart with guilt and has no will or energy left to be defiant.

        1. Tan

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/sweetie/

        2. temperaryobsessor

          I heard what happened. Its just so sad. He was only trying to follow Gods example and save his lost sheep. I’m glad you weren’t hurt, you would never stray from Gods path for you.

        3. ischemgeek

          Yeah.

          Add in a dash of “I guess this is what happens when you defy God’s will.” To victim blame Becky with plausible deniability.

  79. Axel

    I hope Sarah and Joyce keep their dorm locked when they’re not in

  80. Keulen

    If Willis doesn’t show us Ruth suplexing Carol in tomorrow’s strip I’m gonna be pissed.

  81. Abbe_Faria

    Low key realizing, this is Ruth on her meds…glad to see she hasn’t lost a step 😛

  82. The Coolest Child

    Making the Dina’s Parents Strip patreon-Only
    DAMN YOU WILLIS

  83. TaintedSpud

    Wait… what sort of suplex? If she comes up behind Carol, that implies a German Suplex, a belly to back suplex, or Saito suplex. But if she can get out in front, that allows for the belly to belly suplex, vertical suplex, side suplex, Northern lights suplex…

    1. Shariku

      Why not all?

    2. Hatman

      may as well go with the dragon suplex just for maximum full nelson action and suplex.

      you might even say she should take her to some sort of municipality of suplexes.

  84. Aragem

    Wow. Instead of saying, “My daughter has been kidnapped and I have to make sure she’s okay.” or “PLease, I’ve been so worried and I need to see her”, it’s She’s MY family. She’s MY daughter. Parents who are more possessive than caring are toxic.

    1. Bagge

      Well, we know from the Toedad school of parenting that when they say “may child” they mean “my property.”

      and Carol is here to bring her property back home, much like Toedad did.

      1. Aragem

        What horrible is they use religion as a disguise to get away with it. Not consciously, but it’s there all the same.

  85. Thallo

    I swear, this might just be the happiest we have ever seen Ruth, as funny as that sounds

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      I have a vision of another moment that might match it, but it may have been in a Slipshine.

  86. Tomn

    I’m on a mobile. Is anyone else getting a full page video ad that covers up the comic, has no visible close button, and doesn’t go away after the video finishes playing? It’s for some kind of company named Promise, though I suspect it’s targeted since I live in Hong Kong.

    1. Hilzabub

      I saw nothing like that on mobile.

  87. Zaxares

    FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT 😀

  88. JessWitt

    I was foolish to think Ruth wouldn’t get to take down Carol. The way the latter she goes, she’ll be dragged out of IU kicking and screaming.

  89. Rabisch

    THE MATCH OF THE CENTURY!!! Ruth is younger and well trained, but Carol has a lot of experience and she’s basically EVIL! The result is absolutely not possible to predict. GO RUTH!!!

  90. Shteevie

    Alt-text stopped working in Vivaldi, but works in chrome. Anyone with an idea why?

  91. Peter

    GO FOR HER FEMURS, RUTHLESS!

  92. Alan in DC

    Fourth panel: T-Shirt ! ! !

  93. Regalli

    The glee in her eyes. Ruth has been waiting for this chance.

    1. seregiel

      Her eyes are a reflection of the majority of the comment section.

  94. FacelessDeviant

    Shialabeoufdoit.gif

  95. Deanatay

    Ruth panel 4: PLEASE do something stupid, old woman.

    Ruth panel 6: YASSSSSS

  96. hof1991

    Since no one is in Joyce’s room, let Carol race down there to shout at a locked door. Or empty room.Carol has this all plotted in her mind, so end that plot line. She’ll turn on Ruth and attack her for information. That’s a clear crime. Campus police would escort her out if she is wandering about, but arrest her if she attacks someone.

    I just hope the Keeners took the group someplace a little off campus where Carol can’t find them easily.

    1. BigDogLittleCat

      I really wish it would play out that way. Much more realistic and somehow more satisfying to let her bang on the door a while before telling her Joyce left.
      Joyce isn’t cowering behind the door you wretched bongo, she went to lunch with her friends. Not sure if should specify her *atheist* friends.
      That might distract Carol from the most important part, that her daughter is defying the hell out of her.

      And having her hauled off by campus security, official authority, you know,’listen to the adults and you won’t get hurt’ authority, is much better than being assaulted by a kid with delusions of power whom she will most certainly press charges against and try to sue off the map.

      1. temperaryobsessor

        Suing will take money Carol already lost a good amount of money bailing a kidnapper out of jail, and Hank will almost certainly try to stop any more spending sprees from Carol after that. Plus how will she juggle two major legal battles at once with the impending divorce. Furthermore Ruth’s grandpa has money, and he seems the type who would hire Ruth the best lawyers out there and then yell at her about it later.

        1. BigDogLittleCat

          Didn’t say Carol would win, only that she’d try. I’m sure her church has at least one crummy attorney who’d take the case on contingency, especially when they learn Ruth’s family has money.
          And sue the school for giving a violent person like Ruth any authority and not training her better. That case probably would have legs, in fact.

      2. James

        They’re secular, so they’re not real authorities though

    2. deathjavu

      Barging into dorms where you aren’t invited is already a clear crime- trespassing, regardless of any relation. Dorms are for the people that live there and their guests, and that’s generally spelled out in the contracts.

  97. PB

    I’m beginning to think that the only difference between Ross and Carol is a Y chromosome.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Alternate universe fic where she married Ross and Hank married Bonnie?

      1. AutobotDen

        Joyce and Becky as sisters? Yes, please.

        1. ProfNekko

          well there’s two options there… Either Joyce and Becky are sisters under Hank and Bonnie or the alternative they’re sisters under Carol and Ross… You sure you wanna risk that?

        2. Jade

          That is a dark, dark alternative universe.

  98. Amelie Wikström

    If you want to live by your own moral code, you really have to give up being indignant when the rest of the world disagreeing with you carries consequences. Like when your friend gets put in jail for his kidnapping/murder spree, or when people don’t take your side when you defend him, or when you try to barge into a college dorm cause you think you know what your kid needs better than she does and get suplexed all the way to the street.

    Okay the last one hasn’t happened yet, sort of jumped the gun there.

    1. Amelie Wikström

      *kidnapping/murder attempt whoops

    2. James

      But if she doesn’t get indignant other people might not know they’re WRONG

  99. ValdVin

    I’m surprised how much of Ruth’s foot that last panel holds.

    Why do I get the feeling Ruth’s “not allowed on this floor” list is bigger than all the others combined?

  100. ziggy78eog

    Why do I get the impression that this is something that she has been looking forward to, for a very long time now.

  101. DalNiente

    I’m concerned about Carol’s “Child, you’d be a fool to lay a hand on me.” I don’t think her faith is of the flavor (or strong/deluded enough) that supports indoor lightning-strike smitings, so like…what’s up her sleeve?

    1. BigDogLittleCat

      Sue her into oblivion, while she’s in prison for assault.

    2. James

      Might not be anything specific, just a complete conviction that she’s In The Right here and if Ruth actually interferes there will Be Consequences and everyone else will automatically be on her side in this.

  102. Dracke

    i want to see her bucket list

  103. DarkoNeko

    I laughed so hard at the last panel

    1. DarkoNeko

      I would almost say “it’s like the old Ruth” but she’s like, genuinely smiling rather than sadistically smiling ?

  104. ChrisEM

    Long time reader first time poster:

    Do it!!

  105. DerthManter

    I didn’t see this in the comments so forgive me if it’s a repeat.
    Someone’s gonna learn why the RA is called Ruthless

  106. Jenny Islander

    Ruth, your face of righteous anger is adorable.

  107. nightshade

    oooh i so wanna see this fight …….

  108. Auryn

    There’s ONE thing I want to see from Ruth during her upcoming grapple with Carol. ONE karmic petard-hoisting. I want to hear her say something to the effect of a college family sticking together – i.e. “We stand by our own.” Put those words riiiiight back in Carol’s face.

    1. Jade

      Oh, fuck yes

  109. TrueVCU

    IT’S FEMUR HARVESTIN’ TIME

  110. Jade

    Ruth loves Joyce more than Joyce’s own mother does.

  111. Icalasari

    I NEED THAT SUPLEX DRAWN!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.