204

Intended
Posted on July 7, 2019 by David M Willis
It's a second Patreon bonus strip for June!  Hallelujah!  It's about body horror.  It's a little late.  Because, again, body horror. I think I mentioned, like, everywhere I have an online presence EXCEPT here that I had an emergency surgery last Monday.  I have been in bed!  It's not fun!  They had to cut me open and put my colon back where it needs to go.  I had my GUTS in my JUNK.   And so, yeah, I am currently a little slow.  My buffer here's three months long, so that's working out fine, but my Patreon strips are drawn by the seat of my pants.  And so once I was well enough to actually write/pencil a Patreon bonus strip, Gordon McAlpin (of Multiplex 10 fame) offered to ink it for me.  Because, y'see, it's still difficult to sit for long periods of time.  Thanks, Gordon!  It is a great job.  You have saved me lots of pain. Anyway, there it is!  New content!  I was productive!  After what feels like an eternity.  All Patrons can go check it out.

204 thoughts on “Intended”

  1. Nono

    Oof. I mean, right to do, Sal, but terrible time and place for it.

    1. C.T Phipps

      She should make it up to Marcie by sleeping with her.

    2. Diner Kinetic

      I mean, honestly, what else could she do? this might hurt but I really think it’s the right move here

      1. Joe Angel

        For a second there I thought your reply was to C.T. Phipps and wow that paints a different picture.

        1. Rowen Morland

          And how.

        2. Diner Kinetic

          Oh god now, there are a lot of bedder plans than that one

  2. Yumi

    You passed

    1. Doctor_Who

      So did Sal.

    2. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

      With flying colors!

  3. ValdVin

    The blush on Marcie is surprising.

    1. desolation0

      Imminently anticipated smooching tends to have that effect on people regardless of any ulterior emotional inclinations.

    2. Walky_Talky

      What if Marcy had Malaya making Sal jealous all this time because Marcy actually likes Sal and this kiss would have been the fruits of all their labor?

      1. ValdVin

        I don’t know–good question.

        That would make me the perfect fool who’d fall for something like that, however. It sounds like something from a Shakespeare comedy or a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta.

      2. Wolfbeckett

        Good idea, but the comics we’ve had where Marcie is lusting after Malaya when Sal isn’t around would lead away from that conclusion.

        1. emmavoid

          I mean, could just be that she’s poly and likes both of them

  4. Alex

    …Goddammit…

  5. William Leonard Reese Jr.

    Oh no. . . Marcy is now conflicted and has to examine some feelings she has for Sal and Malaya.

    *ponders* . . . . WOULD Sal actually go for Marcy if Marcy showed actual interest in her? Is Sal straight? Bi? Pan?

    1. ian livs

      Sal’s allegedly super straight (but then, so was every member of my friend group at one point and now hardly any of them are actually straight, it turns out… so–who knows?)

      1. Rowen Morland

        Without any real context I’m going to imagine that as an awesome sitcom.

        1. djhash

          Last straight wo/man standing?

        2. djhash

          Intro: “I have many friends. We thought we were all straight. One day and one accident, they started finding out they weren’t. I’m the last one. Hi, I’m Ian; and I’m ‘The Last Straight Man Standing'”.

          Music: “You never thought that life was gonna be this waaaaay!”

        3. Cakey hookerbot

          I’m making my first comment after years of lurking just say that I would watch the HELL out of that show.

    2. Doctor_Who

      Word of Willis is that Sal is very straight.

    3. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

      Alas, Sal is extremely straight.

      1. ǝ snow ʍousɐ

        (see title-text)

    4. DailyBrad

      Sal is straight, and seemingly, I think Marcie could probably have some solidarity with Becky, if you catch my drift. (Marcie’s into both guys and gals, so I don’t mean for that part)

      1. C.T Phipps

        Eh, Willis could retcon it. I wouldn’t mind. Maybe straight but bi romantic or straight but lesbian romantic.

        1. Lacuna

          I feel that Dumbing Of Age is one of those things like Steven Universe or the new She-Ra cartoon, where you’re encouraged to look for the least heterosexual explanations possible.

          Or at least it’s two steps away from reaching that level.

        2. StClair

          Nah, fandom (all fandom, in my experience) does that naturally.

        3. Lacuna

          But some encourage it more than others!

        4. Punaparta

          “Everyone is gay in Gensokyo.”

        5. DailyBrad

          I doubt he would do that, especially since it’s come up before about her being straight, it’s not just word of god on the matter, so it’d be conspicuous. It’s not like with Danny where making him bi didn’t contradict matters.

        6. BBCC

          I mean, the only thing actually said on page was that she wasn’t currently willing to fuck Marcie. It’d be pretty easy to give her a revelation a la Danny (who also thought he was straight when the comic started).

        7. DailyBrad

          She also turned down Billie, though a lot of that might’ve been since Billie was drunkenly hitting on her, and it would probably be kinda awkward.

        8. BBCC

          Also, she didn’t really like Billie in general at the time.

        9. thejeff

          Could I suppose, but it seems too easy a fix for several long running plotlines. Not enough drama.

        10. Wolfbeckett

          Having Sal be “straight with an exception” for Marcie would be a little too mirror-y of Robin’s arc in Shortpacked.

  6. Ningee

    Next page Malaya walks up to Marcie and says. “Well we tried, but i think she’s too straight to hook up with you just to spite me.”

    1. Lala

      She DID shrug it off when Malaya got with Joe. You could be right– this could have been the REAL plan!

      1. Meagan

        Holy crap

        1. TachyonCode

          I’m unconvinced, but I have an uncomfortable (?) question: why did Marcie go along with this terrible plan in the first place?

          I mean aside from some of her more questionable decisions, this is the dumbest thing we’ve ever seen her do.

        2. Jhon

          Mature people making sensible decisions.

          I guess you haven’t been reading the comments lately.

        3. Deanatay

          Also, check the title of the comic.

        4. Wolfbeckett

          The plan wasn’t THAT unreasonable given Malaya’s previous behavior towards Sal. It’s sitcom-ey but Malaya DOES go out of her way to spite Sal however she can.

  7. ian livs

    I mean, on one hand, I’m glad Malaya didn’t get her way about this bc wow, was that a shitty thing to just ask people (one of whom you know hates you) to do. But on the other, Marcie looks so unhappy! (Also, her blushing is cute as heck.)

  8. Uno

    Oh could it be a reverse uno card the whole time? Marcies into Sal with Malaya helping??

    1. BBCC

      Either that or ‘Oh shit, my bestie is hot, this is awkward’.

    2. ian livs

      Malaya helping her with that would be the ultimate plot twist I didn’t see coming. I’d die laughing tbh

  9. Luzahn

    Sal you gotta stop being straight, it’s very inconsiderate.

    1. rustfire

      Sal is the most frustrating character for me, she checks off so many things that remind me of myself except for the whole doesn’t like girls thing

      Mixed Race: Check
      Long kinky hair: Check
      Bass player: Check
      Spent half her life in the south: Check
      Childhood delinquent: Check
      Motorcycle: Check
      Leather gloves and jackets: Check
      Heterosexual: Not at all

      1. Portland

        You’re like a cooler version of Sal!

  10. BBCC

    Malaya, you’re an asshole. Don’t pressure people to kiss when they tell you they’re dating.

    Carla, you put that phone down immediately, young lady.

    And oh. Oh, Marcie. Honey. HONEY. Whether this was a revelation she wanted Sal to kiss her or having an ‘Aw, shit, my bff is hot’ moment, this’ll be awkward and embarrassing.

    Knowing Malaya, she’ll probably take that as this is fake (which, tbf, it was) but it’s also (unlikely but) possible she’ll take that wording as a break up.

    Ah well. I still have fan fiction. Here, have some fluff.
    https://archiveofourown.org/works/19705681

    1. ian livs

      Bless you for the fluff~

    2. Bryy

      I have faith in Malaya not taking any responsibility here.

      1. 3-I

        Frankly, I’d be shocked if she did. After all, she knows literally nothing about Sal and has still decided she’s “utterly fake” for no reason.

  11. Thores

    Was this like… reverse hijinks all along? Marcie has secret feelings for her best friend, Malaya decides to manipulate Sal’s disdain for her so that Sal and Marcie end up kissing? While Sal thinks SHE’S doing the manipulating all the while?

    That’d be a pretty elaborate web to weave, and yet I wouldn’t put it past Malaya.

    1. jez2718

      I dunno, I never got much of an elaborate scheming vibe from Malaya, either here or in Shortpacked. That’s more of a Mike thing (or, less competently, a Sydney Yus thing).

      1. ktbear

        You may be right that this is too elaborate for Malaya, and the look on her face when Carla yelled out that Sal and Marcie were making out seemed to be genuine surprise. Now Carla, on the other hand, is well known for her elaborate schemes, re her machine to hit Mary in the face with a cream pie.

    2. Daisy

      I dunno, it was Joyce and Becky’s idea to fake them being together.

      Plus Malaya’s comment yesterday about it “making sense now”, on seeing that they’re together, implies she’s just concluded the reason Marcie puts up with Sal is because she wants to hit that.

      Which is hilarious to me because that’s what Sal thinks about Malaya. Maybe they’re both right!

  12. Lacuna

    Ignore this, sorry.

  13. C.T Phipps

    Malaya has been rejected and insulted by Sal since she began her friendship with Marcie began. Mostly because Sal hates that Marcie has any friends other than her (and dislikes that lack of attention). So, I’ve never had a problem with Malaya hating Sal.

    This?

    This is still shitty.

    1. DailyBrad

      I don’t think that’s ever been Sal’s issue, though. She disliked that she got less time with Marcie, and that Malaya goes well out of her way to antagonize Sal, but we haven’t seen her be downright possessive of Marcie or anything like that, not that I recall, anyhow.

    2. Megan

      Malaya is extremely insulting, abrasive and rude to literally everyone, so I find it hard to believe that you find Sal the problem in this situation.

      1. C.T Phipps

        Sal has literally threatened Malaya with violence multiple times. So, yes, I’m entirely comfortable with Malaya being rude to Sal.

        1. Marisa Mockery

          Malaya started physical fights though.

        2. JBento

          Uh, SAL started a physical fight by slamming Malaya against a wall after asking her to meet up under the pretenses of making nice and then promptly insulting her.

        3. BBCC

          Seriously, we may not know who was a dick to who first since we haven’t seen their first meeting, but we DO know who started that fight and it wasn’t Malaya.

        4. JBento

          Marisa might be referring to the fight Malaya started with AG, not Sal, back at the parking lot.

          (and yes, I know that the fight was AG’s goal all along and she totally pushed for it)

        5. BBCC

          I mean, AG opened that conversation by saying the fact she found them underage drinking made ‘this’ easier and then told Malaya to come at her. I think most people would accept that as AG starting the fight, regardless of the fact Malaya took the first swing.

        6. halstripey

          lol are we really still fighting about this shit?

    3. Rectilinear Propagation

      Malaya has always been shitty though, and insisting that people (especially Sal) aren’t being genuine is really her thing. Malaya immediately saying, “Prove it” is something Sal should have seen coming.

  14. Stephen Bierce

    *plays “I Would Do Anything For Love But I Won’t Do That” on the hacked Muzak*

  15. DailyBrad

    Marcie. 🙁

  16. Hazel

    Oh. Oh no.

  17. TrueVCU

    Come on Marcie she tried but this was always gonna be a house of cards

  18. Robbie

    Oh Marcie. You poor sweetie 🙁

  19. brumagem

    Dammit, Willis, you are still very good at making characters to hate. And not hate in the fun way, just look at and grimace. Malaya is just so cringy every time I see her.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      She’s litcherally the cringiest character in this web comic.

      1. Wolfbeckett

        The great Faz would like to draw your attention to this chart proving that Faz is the cringiest character in existence.

  20. Pocky

    y’can’t just give a girl blue vulva like that

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      ? She had blue vulva,
      Bluest of vulvas was the night

      1. Chris Phoenix

        Softer than satin was the air from her …

        (I’m NOT going to complete that line. Think Britishism that rhymes with the original word if you need a clue.)

        …Warmer than May, her tender thighs…

        (Dina joins in: …Feeling the raptor grow…)

  21. motorfirebox

    Wow. I’m not sure there any ways this could have gone worse that don’t involve major limb loss or organ failure.

    1. ktbear

      This ^^ is why I hate having such a good imagination.

    2. ValdVin

      “Organ failure”?

      I expect Willis to put a screenshot of your comment on his Twitter!

  22. brumagem

    Also, the ads from here are still obtrusive AF: https://imgur.com/a/s9TgW1S

    1. BBCC

      Message hive works tech support. They’ll get rid of it.

  23. Delicious Taffy

    Malaya is a gross pervert.

    1. fire_daws

      She’s not the one with the camera.

      But yeah.

      1. He Who Abides

        Carla’s not a pervert, she’s an agent of chaos and I love her for it.

        Carla for Joker if Phoenix fails?

        1. Delicious Taffy

          *when

        2. He Who Abides

          He’ll beat Leto, that’s all that matters.

          He has to.

  24. ShinyNeen

    Dang, the rom-com plan didn’t work?!

    Oh, right, stuff’s complicated : (

  25. Lacuna

    I was hoping that these shenanigans would get the chance to progress before going down in flames…but I also realize that Sal is not the kind of person to go this far to lie or be in-your-face hilarious about it. She’s typically someone who reacts to the madness around her. She is not a good shenanigan wrangler, if you will.

    Now if Marcie had gotten Becky to do this, and then got Becky to put on a wig and do her best Sal impression so she could trick Malaya…

  26. Chaucer59

    Shitty thing to do, Sal.

    1. DailyBrad

      She wasn’t comfortable with this situation, but wanted to help Marcie. I don’t think she ever thought she was signing up for coerced makeouts, though.

      1. BBCC

        Yeah, I think Sal knew the plan was dead in the water when Malaya demanded they kiss instead of being overcome with jealousy. No point continuing after that.

        Sadly, it looks like Marcie was either into it or having a ‘shit she’s hot’ moment and now she’s embarrassed about that on top of the plan not working.

    2. Josh Spicer

      Not as shitty as what Malaya did. All Sal did was decide to stop when their plan got too serious, a plan that never established they’d actually kiss.

    3. FacelessDeviant

      What should she have done?
      Done something she isn’t comfortable with or prepared for and kissed her best friend who secretly has feelings for her but wont be honest about them?

    4. Fart Captor

      I don’t understand what shitty thing you think Sal did here?

  27. etoile

    Ouch. Yeah putting myself in Marcie’s shoes, I’d be hurt too. 1) My best friend won’t kiss me even for fake AND 2) I was just humiliated in front of my crush. Leaving as a flushed miserable mess is just about right.

    1. Piotr W

      Okay, so it seems you just can’t win with Malaya. Whatever the plan, she’ll dismantle it and leave you humiliated. 🙁

      BTW. I don’t think that the plan was over as soon as Malaya asked Sal and Marcie to kiss… Demanding that two people (even two people in love) should kiss to prove someone’s point is rude – and Sal could’ve just given Malaya the middle finger here. “We don’t kiss for your leisure, bongo” and all that. I guess she and Marcie have been swerved by Malaya’s demand, so they didn’t realize it…

    2. Piotr W

      Oops, sorry! I posted in a wrong place…

  28. Diner Kinetic

    I was expecting escalation because willis, but I really thought it would be like… after lunch in-universe; I can’t wait to see how this day *ends* in a couple months; I really thought things were too calm after the sal/amber fisticuff rodeo power hour and it seems like the drama turbines are starting to spin back into gear

  29. LeslieBean4shizzle

    I was gonna say this yesterday, but the comments section broke.

    Anyway, yesterday, I was like “oh crap, the plan is DOA”. IF Malaya was going to bite, then she wouldn’t have had that reaction. Yesterday’s reaction tells me that she has 0 interest in Marcie. Which sucks for Marcie – I know, I’ve been there myself.

    Also, Malaya continues to be just the worst. Not for not liking Marcie that way (them’s just the breaks) but for insisting on the public kiss. That’s just rude.

    1. Lacuna

      I know you didn’t mean this, but “oh crap, the plan is DOA” feels like a perfect tagline for this comic.

      1. LeslieBean4shizzle

        **snort** Yeah, I probably should have used a different expression for “dead” when talking about a comic whose initials are also DoA. ^^;;

  30. Lacuna

    Willis, I just wanted to say that I’m glad your surgery went well and I hope you feel better soon.

    1. He Who Abides

      Seconded. All in favor, say “Aye”.

      Also, Willis, a rolling office chair and dependable spouse might help if you have difficulties getting around the house.

      1. Kryss LaBryn

        Aye!! Get well soon, Willis! 😀

        Also, his spouse is being super helpful with ball-wrangling and stuff already. You should check out his Twitter feed. XD

        1. He Who Abides

          I know she is (from the Twitter sidebar on this site, I’m not actually starting a full Twitter account). I just figured I’d offer the chair advice because I remember seeing a post about him having a hard time walking to and from the can, and I’ve been in a position to know about the usefulness of using an office chair in that situation.

  31. Far

    I just want Marcie to have one good thing ;_;

    1. BBCC

      She has a pretty great bff.

    2. Agemegos

      Yeah, me too. But I don’t think a binkfest with Malaya would be a good thing in the long term. Or even the medium term. Even if it was good in the short term, which I doubt it would be. Is there any reason to suppose that Malaya does girls?

      1. BBCC

        Walkyverse had her into a lady. Sexuality transfers.

        1. Agemegos

          At least Marcie’s bidar is working then. That’s something.

  32. DJTsurugi

    look how upset Marcie is, this isn’t ok. ~<3

  33. Synnerman

    Willis, I hope your recovery is swift, complete, and absent any complications.

  34. Foxhack

    I couldn’t say this yesterday: I hate Malaya.

    I’m saying this today: I still hate Malaya.

    1. Keulen

      Same here.

    2. Zee

      Biggest mood

  35. Josh Spicer

    Oh cool I can say this now.

    Fuck you Malaya. Not only is it incredibly rude to ask two people to kiss, but it’s incredibly rude to ask two people to kiss in public on your own wim.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      I agree. Malaya doesnt deserve to see intimacy, even fake intimacy.

    2. Shane Wegner

      I’d say, mitigated by correctly inferring it was a fake setup, it’s more like calling a bluff than actually requesting it. And to be fair, CARLA was the one who shouted they were going to.

      And was ready to cam pic the kiss. Put the camera away Carla.

      1. CJ

        Actually I don’t believe Malaya was thinking it was fake, but that she wanted to see Sal being vulnerable.

  36. halstripey

    After this, Malaya wil gaslight Sal for being a terrible girlfriend and making Marcie sad. Marcie will not hang out with Sal, and Sal will once again lose her best friend to Malaya.

    1. Josh Spicer

      And people will still somehow defend Malaya.

      1. abysswatcher1993

        I agree, Spicer. I agree.

        1. Bryy

          My fear is that, once she knows about the plan, Malaya will turn on Marcie as if they were never friends.

      2. timemonkey

        Because it’s Marcie’s fault for playing games and causing these situations instead of just being honest?

    2. halstripey

      If thris actually happens, then Marcie is not as likeable than I thought, so I hope the second part of my prediction is wrong.

    3. Shane Wegner

      Sal and Marcie have weathered a lot worse and stayed friends. Malaya just isn’t important enough to crush their friendship on a whim. They’ll survive.

      Sal would probably enjoy a new roommate.

    4. Fart Captor

      That’s not what gaslighting means. Gaslighting is a form of long term manipulation where you attempt to make someone question their own mind so they’re never certain enough that they correctly understand what’s going on to question you

      Malaya calling Sal a terrible girlfriend would not be gaslighting

      1. ValdVin

        As someone who expects “gaslighting” to show up in OED in two years, I appreciate your preciseness.

  37. abysswatcher1993

    Fuck you Malaya!

  38. Red Comet

    To be fair to Malaya… it was a really, really stupid plan.

  39. Owlmirror

    Kinda a pity. I had an idea which might have worked, in an alternate universe where Sal thinks faster and craftier.

    “Gosh, Malaya, I think maybe ya got me. I am really not sure I could actually kiss Marcie with full sincerity and all that non-fakeness ya keep demandin’. So why don’t you show me how it’s done? I’ll watch closely while you kiss Marcie with all the sincerity you can muster, and I’ll let ya know if I can match you”.

    [*Long makeout scene. Marcie works a hand free to give Sal a thumbs up. Finally:*]

    “I concede, Malaya. That kiss was definitely more sincere than my sincerest coulda ever been.”

    [*Sal shakes Malaya’s hand, walks off. Marcie grins goofily; Malaya says “. . . ” *]

  40. Keulen

    Poor Marcie. That plan backfired in a way I didn’t expect.

    Also, glad to see the comments are working again.

  41. lilure

    “The risk ah took was calculated,
    but man

    am ah bad at math.”

    1. Deanatay

      *cough* *ahem* betterthanWalky *ahem* *cough*

  42. Doopyboop

    I figured Marcie probably had an unrequited crush on Sal and that at least part of the Malaya thing is her attempting to move on from it. In Sal’s defense… She did check with Marcie about this thing before going through with it, so she can’t really be mad at her. I think she’s just embarrassed and flustered.

  43. All-Purpose Guru

    I’ve been where you are, David. Get well soon.

    It stands to reason that if you’re gonna have major surgery it’s gonna involve the butt.

  44. Falcon

    Malaya is only 50%~ at fault here, a new record! Sal committed to a plan she was not ready to follow through with. And Marcie caught feelings that are not any fault of Sal’s.

    1. BBCC

      Sal didn’t kiss her because it was already off the rails – Malaya didn’t get jealous and come on to Marcie. She was suspicious and demanded proof.

      1. CJ

        Called it.

        1. CJ

          Sorry, shouldn’t have been a reply.
          Marcie risked being hurt and here it is.
          Poor Marcie.
          They should have planned on what they’d do if Malaya was being her normal obnoxious self and how far they planned to go.
          And why the hell didn’t they just tell her to fuck off, she’s not entitled to watch them kissing?

        2. Falcon

          They’re caught up in the mentality of needing to convince Malaya it’s real, and Sal isn’t great at lying. So the smart “respect our privacy” option didn’t occur to her in the moment. As for Marcie, she wanted the kiss.

  45. BenRG

    Poor Marcie! Like Becky before her, she’s going to have to confront the simple fact that her best friend… sister in all but blood… really doesn’t think of her that way.

    1. Miri

      … More like a sister than a scissor sister you mean?

      1. MatthewTheLucky

        I wonder what Daisy’s up to?

        1. Jhon

          Journalism, of course.

  46. Shane Wegner

    Some people are just low Kinsey Number, it’s nothing personal Marcie. Even though I’m sure the feels feel bad even trying to remember that.

    The ironic thing now is Malaya can reinforce her idea “Oh, Selfish Sal was trying to play fake games to get attention again and someone got hurt, big surprise there. If only you had followed my advice to say what you want, this was avoidable.”

    Marcie should just say what she wants. Although telling Sal that that to Sal won’t help, Sal is only into some men.

  47. Newllend(henryvolt)

    Ok everyone is jumping the idea that Marcie is wrestling with lingering feelings for Sal in the same way as becky ( which is typical because it always comes to a fandom demanding more shipping) but here I’m thinking it’s Marcie feeling some sort of shame because she almost jeopardized her friendship with Sal just to nail Malaya.

    1. Wraithy2773

      Right now, seems like there’s a lot of possibilities. I’m currently on the side of “It’s a double-bluff, Malaya was acting comedicly onerous with Marcie’s blessing to put Sal in this position”, but that’s mostly because I love chaos.

      We’ll know the truth soon enough, might as well have fun with the insane possibilities :D.

      1. sirconanad

        >soon enough
        After David cuts away for three months, maybe.

    2. DailyBrad

      Eh, it’s also been somewhat foreshadowed, possibly, given how we even found out Marcie was into Malaya, with Sal’s “What do you get from her that you can’t get from me?”

  48. DarkoNeko

    alas, poor Marcie, it was expected.

  49. Piotr W

    Okay, so it seems you just can’t win with Malaya. Whatever the plan, she’ll dismantle it and leave you humiliated. ?

    BTW. I don’t think that the plan was over as soon as Malaya asked Sal and Marcie to kiss… Demanding that two people (even two people in love) should kiss to prove someone’s point is rude – and Sal could’ve just given Malaya the middle finger here. “We don’t kiss for your leisure, bongo” and all that. I guess she and Marcie have been swerved by Malaya’s demand, so they didn’t realize it…

    1. timemonkey

      You could probably win by being straight forward and honest. That’s Marcie’s problem here, she won’t just take the risk so instead she’s playing stupid games.

  50. KSClaw

    I hope next comic has Malaya getting punched in the teeth for her next stupid declaration of fake. I’ll take physically or verbally, because dear god someone put that bongo in her place if Sal can’t. I’m so sick of her “fake this, fake that” bs.

  51. Rabisch

    Hope someone will go after her. It will be interesting to see if that one will be Sal or Malaya.

  52. Sirksome

    Okay I just wanted to comment to say. I know this was a gag and Sal and Marcie probably deserved to be called out on their b.s., but Malaya shouldn’t get away with demanding people kiss to prove their effection. That’s the kind of disgusting stuff Joe normally gets criticized for doing. It’s especially horrible in a world where lgbt can get assaulted for not proving their gay in front of random jerks. Not cool Malaya!…Not cool.

  53. Jol Retzloff

    Awww … she cared for her as a friend. There was really no need for excessive intimacy; just caress her hair, and a quick closed-mouth smooch. Some church ladies smooch everyone; it doesn’t necessarily mean “Lesbian”.

  54. JBento

    Horribly bad plan backfired horribly. Watch the full report just after our groundbreaking investigative piece, “Water: Is it wet?”

  55. TheFlamingonator

    WAIT NO WHAT WAS THIS THE PLAN ALL ALONG

  56. Zaxares

    Poor Marcie. 🙁

    Also, bad Carla! No photographing/videotaping other people doing acts of affection unless you ask permission first!

  57. Eldritch Gentleman

    No plan survives the encounter with the enemy…

    1. fire_daws

      Or a pretty girl in a sundress

      1. ValdVin

        Good lateral callback. (Is that what we’re referring to it as?)

  58. hof1991

    Chance for some personal growth for Malaya here. Sal explains / yells at her. Malaya understands that she hurt an innocent bystander trying to hurt Sal. Changes a few of her ways and go after Marcia. Nope. Not dumb enough for this age.

    1. JBento

      Exactly WHAT is Sal going to yell at Malaya for? Not reading Marcie’s mind and/or not being interested in banging her? Because that’s gonna take a lot of yelling at a lot of people.

      1. BBCC

        I think at for demanding they kiss. It’s a pretty asshole move.

        1. JBento

          Though it IS an asshole motive, Malaya didn’t demand that they kiss. Carla announced, loudly, that they were doing it and Malaya went “sure, go ahead, I’d like to see that.”

        2. halstripey

          Um, read the comic again. “Do it. Kiss.”

        3. JBento

          Um, read the comic before that: “Sal and Marcie are totally making out.” Malaya’s basically telling them to not mind her (and yes, it sounds weird to me, too, but them’s the breaks).

        4. halstripey

          I don’t see your point here. BBCC said Malaya demanded they kiss. You said she didn’t. But she clearly did, as is seen in this strip and the previous strip.

        5. halstripey

          Carla lying about them kissing did not mean they were actually going to kiss. Malaya was the one who told them to kiss.

        6. JBento

          No, but it means the version of events that was given to Malaya (and that neither Sal nor Marcie did anything to disavow) was that they were in the middle of a PDA, interrupted by Carla drawing Malaya’s attention to it.

        7. BBCC

          What she actually said was ‘Well, let’s see it then.’ and then said it might be the first genuine thing she’s seen Sal do. That takes it from ‘Oh, don’t mind me’ and into a demand and a challenge (and, by extension, a dick move).

        8. JBento

          Literally EVERYTHING BY EVERYONE is a dick move in this story arc. Malaya’s AT WORSE the third least dickmover in this storyline, tied with Joyce and Becky.

          It’s why I can’t wait for it to end.

        9. BBCC

          Hey, you asked what Sal would yell at Malaya for. You got your answer – it’s a dick move demanding someone kiss in front of you to prove they’re genuine. It being a dick move trying to get her to hook up with Marcie to spite Sal doesn’t make it not so.

  59. Alex Boston

    My theory: the quickly improvised plan was Carla’s and is still in motion. Carla knew Sal couldn’t follow through and so the camera was a bluff to get Malaya mad at Carla, maybe even step on her, which is a thing Carla wants Malaya to do.

  60. ziggy78eog

    I was typing up a few sentences, describing how guilty Marcie felt, for using Sal, to get at Malaya, but then a thought came to me. What if Marcie was not interested in Malaya, but Sal? Looking at the last panel, what if that is not a feeling of guilt, but one of rejection? What if Marcie has romantic feelings, for Sal? This is still the, “I am pretending to be interested in Person A, to get Person B’s attention” scenario, but it is the reverse of what we have been thinking? All this time, it was, it was Malaya, working with Marcie, to set up this situation, where she can get that romantic moment, with her best friend. And now? Now Marcie feels rejected, and that can hurt.

    1. Sazazezer

      We’ve had a few private scenes of Marcie pining for Malaya. At the very least, it’s not cut and dry a reverse scenario. I think what we’re seeing here is that, seeing as Marcie is into girls, the idea of kissing someone as hot as Sal does appeal to her. It could even be a case the Marcie does have feelings for Sal that she’s buried in the past since Sal doesn’t swing that way, and they’re now forcing their way to the surface. But as an actual plan between Marcie and Malaya to get Marcie with Sal, i think that’s a no.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/nuzzle/

      1. JBento

        I’m not sure what I THINK, but I HOPE it’s a no. This whole thing is already ridiculous enough.

    2. Colineo

      Oh my God, what if Malaya had the same plan as Sal in reverse…

  61. Dutch

    Poor Marcie.

    Damn you Willis

  62. Cmd1095

    Based on Marcie’s blush… I’m guessing Marcie isn’t just sexually interested in Malaya, if you catch my drift

  63. Bagge

    Can you get a refound from a love detective?

    1. JBento

      Hopefully not – you wouldn’t want to be found even the first time, let alone a second. ;p

      1. Bagge

        Heh, good one

  64. JBento

    Oh hey, I just realised: I think this is the first storyline that makes me respect EVERYONE INVOLVED less.

  65. rustfire

    This is the most gut punched any strip has ever made me feel. My gay dreams crushed, poor Marcie’s face

    1. Aeromechanicalace

      Maybe Willis will show mercy on us and give us Becky/Dina Smooches.

  66. GollyGamma

    So I decided to write a post-time skip fanfic involving Carla.

    https://archiveofourown.org/works/19480057/chapters/46370893

  67. Eve

    Always sucks to look silly in front of your crush, poor Marcie.

  68. Colineo

    HAS THIS BEEN MALAYA’S PLAN THE WHOLE TIME?

  69. ADLegend21

    wait what if Marcie was using Malaya to get with Sal?!

  70. ivy

    Can Marcie now stop hanging out with Malaya, since it seems she has no interest in reciprocating her affection? Can she finally pry herself away from this awful toxic garbage bag of a person and find someone else with a better personality to lust after? Christ.

  71. Needfuldoer

    The real crime here is that Carla’s filming vertically.

    You’re not shooting right, dummy!

  72. Softsful

    I’m still holding out on this crack theory that Malaya actually wants Sal.
    … It doesn’t seem logical, and sure as heck ain’t my OTP… but some part of me still kinda half expects it…

  73. The Great Goblin Wizard Kazamaraz

    HAVE WE BEEN PLAYED?! Has Marcie actually been wanting to get with SAL this whole time and been using Malaya in an odd roundabout way to get to this point?! Will Malaya spill the beans if so?! FIND OUT TOOOOOOOOMORROW!

  74. Jenna

    Malaya is the WORST

  75. Antonio Tyler

    Wow, trying to trick someone into dating you didn’t work out.

    Shucks.

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