216

Introduced
Posted on March 23, 2012 by David M Willis
And so ends "Choosing My Religion."  New storyline on Monday! ...in hindsight, today's probably should have titled "Slobber."

216 thoughts on “Introduced”

  1. Jen Aside

    IT’S LICKY!

    1. OhHayMike

      Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff…

      1. Twisted Two-face

        While Mike banged your mom. For a nickel.

        1. Rikushadow5

          In case it wasn’t clear, with his penis.

        2. CWR

          Bang the mom slowly?

        3. Random Guy

          How else?

        4. waldosan

          with a megalithic boner.

    2. Tucker

      It’s Lickitung!

    3. Nathan

      Licky-style!

  2. Moonshine McGee

    Oh, Mike, you asshole.

    1. wererat

      really? all things considered he could have set up a video camera and black mailed them so he wouldn’t send a tape to her ex.

      1. SuziRoo

        Who says he isn’t?

    2. gangler

      How long was he supposed to just chill in that room waiting for a socially appropriate moment to leave? They’re kind of obstructing the door.

      1. mechaqua

        This brings up a good point is Mike really being an asshole… Well sort of its Mike so that was probably his intent but in this case he may be justified.

        Okay here me out

        Dorothy and Walky just starting making out and ya know i would kind of be weirded out if my roommate started doing this in my room without warning as well. It makes things uncomfortable and awkward for Mike. and its a little inconsiderate.

        This happened very fast so Walky’s hormones overpowered him, so he is not totally at fault and Dorothy didn’t know his roommate was in.

        all in all I think Mike is actually being pretty civil he could have let this escalate and embraced both Walky and Dorothy by acknowledging his presence after their clothes were off.

        1. Aegon01

          We also don’t know how long they were making out in the door.
          3 kisses, or like 3 minutes?

        2. wererat

          now the possable implied montage for the first three panels make me question just how long mike was there without them noticing…

        3. Historyman68

          3 months. Walky can’t grow a beard.

        4. Shippy McShipper

          Given the established rate of comic time to real time? About 2 and a half nanoseconds.

        5. Mercury

          Mike is always being an asshole.

        6. Petre Pan

          “I think Mike is actually being pretty civil he could have let this escalate and embraced both Walky and Dorothy by acknowledging his presence after their clothes were off.”
          He could have…embraced them! Yes, that WOULD have been assholery. Lol. “Hey, let me join in!” Or he just kinda starts kissing them both. “GAAAH!” “Shut up, your mom didn’t complain.”

      2. Volkai

        This is Mike we’re talking about here. He wasn’t waiting to leave, he was waiting for the perfect moment to interrupt, for maximum embarrassment and mood-ruining potential.

        Probably.

        1. gangler

          I dunno. We still haven’t seen him be much more than a little bit rude. Sarah’s done more to hurt people than Mike has. Certainly he does seem to take a certain pleasure out of making people uncomfortable, but if he was looking to maximize this I’d think it would’ve been prudent to wait a little bit longer.

          I think it’s reasonable to say that he was waiting to leave or wanted to end this, and killing the mood while causing embarrassment is a perk he enjoys.

      3. Rognik

        Isn’t this at Dorothy’s door? Mike shouldn’t care that she’s blocking it, and he’d be in the hallway. Perhaps he came along with Walky to discuss something, but him interrupting was him just being a jerk.

        1. gangler

          Nah, she knocked, Walky answered. That makes this Walky’s room. I guess Walky has Mike over. Or they might be roomies. Either way though Mike’s coming from inside the room since he’s behind Walky who opened the door.

        2. Kelly

          In an early strip (right before Sal showed up), Walky mentioned that Mike is his roommate.

    3. johannhowitzer

      This would be a lot worse if Dorothy was the one standing with her back to Mike.

  3. The Sound Defense

    This comic was in need of some Mike.

    1. Random Compliment Time

      I like your picture 🙂

      1. Random Compliment Time

        My random picture next to my comment makes me giggle. The look on his face hehe

      2. The Sound Defense

        Thanks! It’s my face.

        1. molochmachine

          That’s really the perfect response to any question or comment, regardless of context.

        2. karishi

          FAAAAACE

        3. Random Compliment Time

          well its a good face then. congrats 🙂

  4. Sensedog

    Indeed Mike, you are truly an asshole.

    1. fellixe

      Mike is the Anti-wingman

  5. Jetstream

    Mike-block?

    1. Sensedog

      Agreed, this was definitely a hardcore Mike-Block. They were DEFINITELY having fun at that when he interrupted. Another minute and I can’t help but wonder what else they would be doing with their mouths.

      Oh wait…yes I can. Dammit Mike…

      1. Valdrax

        Hardcore? No one’s crying, in jail, or waking up with a new tattoo.
        This is kid gloves.

        1. Sensedog

          I will admit that, yes, it could be much worse given that it is Mike.

        2. nothri

          “Hardcore? No one’s crying, in jail, or waking up with a new tattoo.”

          Dude, he’s only had the chance to say one sentence so far. Give the man some time to work his magic!

        3. Stevie Windup

          I’m pretty sure that Mike is skilled enough to pull all that off with one word.

        4. Stevie Windup

          On second thought, make that six.

        5. Random Guy

          “I emailed video to your Mom.” -Mike

        6. Rognik

          Somehow, I don’t think “Don’t you think she looks tired” would work in this case.

        7. Soleana

          My first reaction: hahaha

          …and then I pictured Mike as the Doctor. Time Lords preserve us.

        8. The Sound Defense

          Well he’s only in college now. Give him time to, uh… mature. I think.

      2. iSaidCandleja-

        Better to stop things now than to wait another minute then. How much creepier could it be if they started screaming each other’s names when Mike suddenly shouts “Nice to meet you!”

        1. Sensedog

          …I now have that image in my head, which is causing me to simultaneously laugh and shudder. I suppose if nothing else, they now know to scan the area for Mike (or others) before commencing hot sloppy makeouts.

  6. Lumino

    Perfect timing Mr. Warner, as always.

  7. Vabolo

    OMNOMNOMNOMNOM

    1. wednesday

      SCHHHHHHHLORP

      1. OhHayMike

        SPLATTER

        …no?

  8. Wonder Wig

    For a lack of practice, Walky seems to be a really good kisser.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      He practices his tonguing technique on his McNuggets.

      1. fellixe

        To get the sauce out of the bottom corners of those dipping packets you have to have some serious moves.

      2. Wonder Wig

        Anyone who knows how to tongue a McNugget is a friend of mine.

        1. Blob Marley

          Hello, friend!

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Subtle, very subtle. 😛

      3. Raiser

        Many have been baffled by the sight, a young man leaving merely the semi-crispy shells of McNuggets behind, like shucking corn.

        “A frightening thing to watch,” claims one.

        “I had to take three showers after I saw it,” claims another.

        “I taught that trick to his mom,” proclaims one who claims to be his roommate.

        The mother in question could not be reached for comment, however the message on her answering machine was evidence enough:
        “Your mom’s not coming to the phone right now. I’m busy. With her. For a nickel. Message after the beep.”

        One thing’s for certain, cherry-stem tying isn’t the only tongue art, any more.

        This has been an Action 8 News report.

        1. AndaisQ

          But… but the semi-crispy shell is the best part!

          D:

    2. Aydr

      Good kisser? His tongue is just, like, sticking out on his chin. How the hell is that good kissing?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Artistic Licence?

      2. Sensedog

        In the third panel in particular they both seem to be fully using their tongues, with Dorothy also clearly enjoying what he is doing. His tongue seems to drop-out only when Mike makes his presence known.

        Then again, I may be over-analyzing this…

        1. Aydr

          Looks like they’re both pretty terrible kissers to me… I dunno, in my experience there really shouldn’t be much of a gap between the mouths for tongues to be visible.

    3. Tom T.

      I’m surprised that Walky’s not more worried about cooties.

    4. Jen Aside

      How can you tell? There’ve been some awful kisses that look pretty good to a third party.

      [I’m assuming from movie commentary]

      Also, it’s easy to just follow the leader–looks like Dorothy whipped out the tongue first, after all.

  9. SUTBEric

    CLASSIC MIKE

    1. Izzy

      Retro mike

      1. SUTBEric

        MIKE CHECK

        1. FlyingFish

          (Everyone!)

          MIKE CHECK!

        2. Random Guy

          *ehem* An open Mike night.

      2. Historyman68

        Mike with lime.

        1. Izzy

          You put the mike in the coconut

  10. Nexev

    Dorothy has just offically had her Miktism.

  11. Plasma Mongoose

    Mikus Interuptus

    1. Markus

      Don’t complain. You called it.

      1. Markus

        And I’m Marcie again…

        No complaints there; she’s hawt.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          That she is, that she is.

  12. Aegon01

    XD Awesome

  13. Rayrayrave

    perfect timing

  14. Aizat

    No, whatever you do, don’t introduce yourself to Mike. If you do, the only thing you’ll be looking forward to is suffering.

    1. Arkadi

      And, especially, don’t let Mike introduce himself to you.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        …or your mother.

        1. Soleana

          Especially your mother.

  15. Roninwolf

    LICKEY STYLE!

  16. Gundi

    Polite jerky Mike is the best Mike.

    1. Rognik

      here, here! He’s far better when he seems to be trying to be nice than just out-and-out an ass.

  17. Ter

    Mike just pulled a Dina!

    1. NCP19

      I was just about to add “Also Dina’s there.”

      1. Rognik

        Dina is Amber’s roommate, not Dorothy’s. I thought this confusion was finally cleared up.

        1. kgy121

          Which makes it all the more surprising when she shows up in Mike’s room.

  18. Plasma Mongoose

    I just hope they don’t speak with their mouths full, that’s so impolite.

    1. Blob Marley

      mife ha meef ooh. Ah Dohffee.

  19. Rognik

    I’ve seen more awkward introductions. None spring to mind, but it’s not the worst.

  20. Ray Barrington

    Typical Mike. Interrupts sloppy makeouts and doesn’t even bring a mop.

  21. Sam

    And just as it was getting good…
    MIKE’D.

  22. TPman

    [smirks]

  23. Mkvenner

    Cock block…. I think.

  24. Sensedog

    On another note:

    Mr. Willis, I have actually been following this comic for several months now, and I just wanted to state right here that you are doing a kickass job. Along with Questionable Content and perhaps one or two others, Dumbing of Age is easily one of my favorite webcomics. Don’t ever stop doing what you are doing, because you are damn good at this.

    1. David

      Hooray! Thanks!

      1. Aegon01

        Seconded. Unlike QC, however, you actually update AT MIDNIGHT instead of 3 or 4 in the morning, and you get so many bonus points for that.

        1. David

          If I don’t update at midnight, I die.

        2. Kernanator

          I thought you turned into a pumpkin.

        3. Aegon01

          What pumpkin?

        4. Aydr

          A dead pumpkin.

        5. Usayasha

          On wheels.

        6. creatorx2

          Or do you turn into a gremlin?
          (see it’s funny because of the gremlins reference)
          (ha ha ha)

        7. Atcote

          You update around 4-5pm in Australia Land, which is perfect for the end of my workday.
          What I’m trying to say is, thanks for being in a timezone that’s convient for someone halfway around the world.

        8. SuziRoo

          QC is usually up around midnight Hawaiian time. Just sayin’.

        9. Lucca

          Alaska time too.

    2. Herohatch

      I too am a fan of QC, but since I’ve started reading DoA I look forward to these updates far far more. And I agree, don’t stop Willis.

  25. SplashBoogie

    Dorothy I told you this would happen! I tried to *shades* Warner

    1. 3rd Bob

      (oh hell…someone’s got to…)

      YEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

      1. Shippy McShipper

        NO! You’re supposed to link to it.

        1. Phillip Wilde

          You win an internet. Possibly two. The committee’s still deliberating on that bit.

    2. TheBenenator

      I TOLD YOU BOUT MAKEOUTS

      I TOLD YOU DOG

  26. mechaqua

    Mike should get business cards

    Mike Warner
    President and CEO
    Assholes Inc.
    6664 Nickle boulevard
    Bloomington Indiana,47401

    (T) 812-968-7666
    (F) 812-382-9680

    “We pride ourselves on providing highest standard of a dickishness in the industry”

    Specializing in
    Cock-blocking
    Your Mom
    Emotional Trauma
    and much more.

    1. Locke

      Are… Are those real numbers? SO TEMPTED TO CALL.

      1. mechaqua

        No, but there is a specific reason why i chose these particular series of numbers. 😉

        1. ChrisP

          Rejection Hotline?

        2. TheCerpent

          The first phone number was a dead giveaway, but I wonder why you didn’t use 812-382-5968 instead. Unless I’m guessing wrong. 😀

        3. mechaqua

          No you got it right and that was the number I was intended to put down but i for some reason i messed it up. Also Kudos on getting the joke!

        4. Tucker

          I don’t get it =[

          Too tired I guess.

    2. SUTBEric

      “I’m Mike Warner. I sell cockblock and cockblock accessories.”

      1. fellixe

        That sounds like a line of sunscreen for nude beaches.

        “If you want to be sure to enjoy your time in the sun, use COCKBLOCK! “

    3. HMRC4EVR

      Okay…have to admit I’m not getting the numbers references.

      Only thing I can think of is 867-5309 for Jenny, but that’s not right at all.

      What am I missing?

      1. Scoops!

        http://www.phonespell.org/combo.cgi?n=968-7666

        The second number I can’t figure out.

        1. mechaqua

          The second number I messed up on TheCerpent understood my intent though.

  27. Plasma Mongoose

    This will teach them to get a room next time.

    1. RandomNameGen

      That depends on whether or not Walky/Dorothy are into exhibitionism. It’s entirely possible that this will encourage them not to find a private venue of .. well, can’t be certain how far they would have gone.

    2. Tom T.

      That IS his room! Problem is that Mike was in it.

      1. Melizza

        Actually…from what I remember, it’s Dorothy’s room because she was in the middle of studying when Walky knocked on the door. So Mike was either following him, or sensed there was need for him there. (If I’m wrong and that is definitely Walky and Mike’s room, I’m sorry. Keep reading the comic when I’m tired lol)

        1. tetroga

          Well, it’s Walky’s room… if you note in previous comic the skin tone of the fist doing the door knocking.
          And the fact that walky is surprised by her showing up.

  28. MR C

    “hi my name is mike, and i hate other people’s happiness”

    then just imagine one of those old school batman sound effect pop ups saying “intentional COCKBLOCK”

  29. Enderkap

    I like the whole “double mouth open with tongues out technique.” I am going to need to implement that during future make-outs.

  30. John Madden

    Ruh roh.

  31. Roz

    I now I realize what a bongo I was in college. I totally did the same thing – word for word – to my roommate once. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t get out of the room!

    1. DiDi

      Pfft… that is not bongoy. I’d do the same thing if they were in front of the door. Not even lying.

      Anyway, this is hilarious.

  32. Aydr

    I love Mike. So much.

  33. Steve

    Oh mike, you make the best awkward situations.

  34. Dahlia

    Oh Mike.

    Never change.

    XD

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Not even his underwear? 😀

      1. Dahlia

        Well, okay, he should definitely CHANGE HIS UNDERWEAR xP

        Lol!

        1. N0083rP00F

          And socks, definitely socks ……. @_@

  35. RandomNameGen

    Did they stop, or just keep going awkwardly while looking at him? It’s hard to tell with only one panel.

  36. Zababcd

    In the third frame, the left arm of Dorothy’s glasses is raised, while the lens remains in place. I could buy the possibility that glasses have been knocked askew during the kiss, but this would mean that the right arm of Dorothy’s glasses must have jumped back up between the third and final frames, for the glasses to return to their natural position. This leaves two possibilities:
    1. The glasses, like Walky and Dorothy, were so startled by Mike that they jumped slightly in shock when he spoke.
    2. Mike has been watching for so long that the glasses have had time to rearrange themselves significantly before he speaks.

    1. David

      In the third frame, that’s actually Dorothy’s eyebrow, and I forgot to draw in the left arm of the glasses. Might add that in tomorrow when I have some time.

      1. Zababcd

        I thought of that possibility. I even wrote it as possibility number three – then I thought, ‘No, that seems too unlikely’, and deleted it.

  37. Atcote

    Mike is very upset that Walky did not formally introduce them, instead making the poor girl stand out in the hall.
    This left Mike with only two options:
    1. Go over and introduce himself like a gentleman.
    2. Pull up the covers and continue masturbating.

  38. wynne

    That’s one of the least gag-inducing images of french kissing I’ve ever seen. Congratulations, Willis.

  39. Plan D

    I sort of like realistic magnificent bastard Mike more than Xanatos gambit bastard Mike.

    1. begbert2

      Just wait until we learn that the entire reason Walky chose this college to go to was because Mike talked him into it months ago with the specific reason of getting him together with Dorothy to ruin her college career and multiply both her and Danny’s angst substantially. And that’s just his short game.

  40. oooo

    Willis, are you or are you not simply drawing each panel in response to our comments on the last? I know you probably have a buffer, but this just seems suspicious…

    1. David

      I drew this comic five weeks ago. I have a large buffer.

      1. CWR

        Brag brag brag.

      2. Mal

        It’s not the size of the buffer, but how you use it.

        1. David

          I use it to feel better than other cartoonists.

        2. the master plan

          Seems like a good reason to me.

      3. Izzy

        So you’re admitting you have a time machine

        1. N0083rP00F

          Nah, he just knows his audience very well.
          Maybe too well….. *tries to ignore the webcam*

  41. Blob Marley

    Walky in panel 1: “Meh. I’ve had better.”

  42. Cheredarenee

    …I think I’m in love with Mike…

  43. Romanticide

    Everytime you need a moment to be ruined… he is there.

  44. Henry

    …aaaaand LICKEY-STYLE ensued.

    Also, well done, Mike. Represent.

  45. Karloaf

    Mike.
    MIIIIIIIKE.

  46. Sensedog

    Now that I think about it, the first two panels (or perhaps all four as a fold-out “joke” card) could potentially be made into a very nice Valentine’s Day card. Just add hearts and a worded message, and there you go.

    1. ShadowMaskPrime

      First we ask for a text bubble-less last panel. Then on the Front, we have the first two panels, one above the other, with hearts and stuff. Inside, the last two panels with a space between them, within which is written “Hi. We haven’t been introduced.” and at the bottom, “I’m Mike.”, oe insert your own name.

  47. iggzy

    To paraphrase, Robin I believe, “Licky Style!”

  48. Herohatch

    So I suppose after this whole chapter, Dorothy chose Walky as her religion? I’m just fine with this.

  49. AckAckAck

    DAMMIT MIKE! Walky and Dorothy need some times together before they can agree on threesome!

  50. Bekah

    Yesterday, I was kinda not really but still sorta miffed that the Surprise Kiss didn’t come on a Friday again. But then we got Surprise Mike on a Friday, and I think that more than makes up for it.

  51. Maycroft

    Mike will be introduced to their moms.

  52. AJBulldis

    I had to stop myself from laughing at loud (because I’m at work).

  53. Slagathor

    Anyone else notice Walky is wearing the butt-taco shirt?

    1. begbert2

      Nobody at all noticed this yesterday.

      1. Slagathor

        Refernces to his other comics. References to his other comics everywhere

  54. ShadowMaskPrime

    Theory, Mike was there, behind the door, the Entire time, including while they were watching cartoons. All throughout he was like “Oh just make out already so I can introduce myself already!”.

  55. ryan

    everytime i see dorothy from this angle (with her eyes open), i’m reminded of that nerdy chicken that foghorn leghorn always babysits.

  56. ShadowMaskPrime

    “Hello. My name is Mike Warner. You kissed my roommate. Prepared to be Cockblocked.”

    1. Tucker

      YES, this!

  57. shoeboxjeddy

    Textbook licky style. NICE

  58. Adyeruz

    It must be Spring, all the girls in this comic are wanting to either make out or make babies.

    1. begbert2

      Just the light-skinned ones.

  59. Jeffrey Scott

    Mike is awesome!

  60. Lord Synick XXIII

    Oh, Mike, you magnificent bastard.

    1. davidbreslin101

      Damn it, I had to check the TV Tropes page for “Magnificant Bastard” and yes, he’s there, though only in his Shortpacked incarnation. must… close…. TV… Tropes…..

  61. Markus

    Looks as if Mike is seriously considering a career in chaperoning.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I just hope this doesn’t result in someone’s face being punched in like it did with Joe and Joyce.

      1. N0083rP00F

        But that’s the bast part and Mike just loves that part of the job.

  62. ziggy78eog

    How many guy/gals remember THIS little scenario in college? “Oh hi, I do not think we have been introduced; I am his/her room mate. Nice to meet you. Do not mind me, just keep making out in the doorway/our room.”

  63. Fauxlosopher

    HAHAHAHAHA MIKE

  64. Sophia

    Didn’t you hear, Mike? Her name is Doroth.

  65. Chuck

    This is why I love Mike =P

  66. Wolfie

    Mike is SUCH a dick!

  67. MarcinMN

    Walky’s fourth panel expression — with the line under the eye and the tongue sticking out — makes me think of the old Charlie Brown comics. Is this what “Peanuts – The College Years” would have been like?? =P

  68. JA

    Dammit, Mike…just as he was getting some tongue.

  69. Jererry

    I love how everyone just assumes that they were going to bang. Has no one made out with someone and not slept that person? Or is there a rule that real life things can’t happen in comics, because comics have to be bombastic? Yeah, and Mike’s being a dick. M-m-m-Moment Breaker!

  70. AliaPie

    I can only assume this leads to a threesome.

  71. Random Guy

    MY GRAVATAR IS UNFORTUNATE!

  72. Zoey

    For a nickel, thats all that comes to mind……

  73. Yotomoe

    Those guys are DEFINATELY makin’ out licky style

  74. Tucker

    Frankly, I’m surprised nobody else did it.

  75. Usayasha

    An odd number of people think that this id Dorothy’s room, but I thought it was obvious that that Dorothy knocked on Walky’s door.
    Also, I look towards Mike for inspiration on how to be an asshole. Mike, you glorious bastard.

  76. LiC

    That has to be one of the most graphic kisses that Willis has done. Yet.

    So I’m curious: is this Walky’s first kiss or do you suppose he’s dated in the past? I only ask because of his anti-girl stances from before, and yet he seems to be a natural at this.

    1. Izzy

      My tongue, I give it to you!

  77. Izzy

    I’m surprised your reaching all the way back to two or so days ago for a joke

  78. mrelegos

    Surely the title should have been LICKY-STYLE!

  79. Confused

    Why is everybody trying to be clever in every comment ever on every strip ever?

    1. Roborat

      Did you miss the memo? It is a contest, the winner gets an internet.

      1. N0083rP00F

        And a Femur. Do not forget the Femur.

  80. Bill M.

    Journalism!

  81. Dani

    Mike! Best Character Ever!

  82. jashin13

    Well, I can see their tongues dancing around, remind me not to read this with my parents in the room.

  83. Lucca

    With their expressions in panels 2-3 I am now imagining 2 Faz’s passionately making out…GODDAMNIT WILLIS

  84. Jenny Creed

    I’m practicing my “extremely disgusting make out noises”as I read this. You never know when you might need to make someone embarrassed about displaying their love.

  85. newllend

    Mike! Who the hell the just intrupts someone will there getting tounge

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