366

Item
Posted on August 15, 2015 by David M Willis

366 thoughts on “Item”

  1. Sue Aside

    kinda surprised she didn’t use “finished engaging in sexual intercourse“

    1. gkheyf

      she knows her audience :3

      1. Sue Aside

        haha welp

        1. gkheyf

          …………it’s like watching hypno-toad

        2. Clif

          Becky is such a good influence on Dina.

        3. inqntrol

          Do you mean this one?http://www.memecenter.com/fun/190886/hypno-toad

        4. 6Qubed

          ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOJOYCE

          AAALLLLLLLLLL HAAAAAAIIIIIILLLLL

        5. Karfsma778

          All glory to the hypno-joyce!

        6. Shay Guy

          Also “I’m an atheist.” Apparently, Joyce Brown doesn’t change facial expressions.

          (My God, was that really almost 10 years ago?)

        7. Sue Aside

          That’s frame #1! (mirrored)

        8. Shay Guy

          Somehow I missed the first link.

        9. Trismagestus

          a) It was 2011, not 10 years ago.

          b) It was about a month back – they haven’t even done their first semester yet.

        10. Screwball

          Clip that thing so you remove the neck & clothes, & I recon it works even better still. would do it myself, but don’t have the programs needed…

    2. -Sentinel-

      “Sue Aside”? That’s a new one.

      1. Someone

        either jen aside changed her name or thats her evil twin.

        1. Viktoria

          Well, it’s the same basic joke name, and Jen has been getting really frustrated with the comments about her not posting first every single day. It could be her, could not, but either way, how about the whole comment section takes it as a sign to lay off Jen, mmkay?

        2. Julez

          …oh god I never got the original joke until just now. >_<

        3. -Sentinel-

          Don’t feel bad. Took me a while as well.

        4. liahansen

          oh my god I got it a long time ago and forgot it until just now

        5. Disloyal Subject

          Ditto.

        6. Ahighfunctioningsociopath

          Trio

        7. lightsabermario

          Mew.

        8. MeyerFTW

          What you guys did there? I saw that

        9. Church

          ^ On how many posts

        10. maarvarq

          I didn’t get it until I read it out loud a couple of days ago.

        11. Kelly

          I still don’t get it…

        12. Someone

          Jen aside-Genocide

          Sue aside-Suicide

        13. -Sentinel-

          Kinda agree that those comments (“Hey, Jen didn’t post first, world must be ending”) were getting tiresome.

        14. Darkoneko

          It got so hella tiring.

        15. Someone

          To be fair, it is just one of many many over used jokes. So shut your
          FAAAAACE and stop Dannying this up or mike will do your mom for a nickel. and whatever overused jokes i missed.

          But yeah, its over done.

        16. Someone

          also, are you Amazi-Girl?

        17. jpic89

          Femurs.

        18. Darkoneko

          Oh, for the “danniying things up” it’s easy, I started using the same for all chars to show how annoying it is.

        19. Rowen Morland

          When does this comment section ever know how to lay off on a joke?

        20. Michael Steamweed

          NEVER!

        21. Roborat

          Never! We beat it to death, then resurrect the stain on the floor where it was, just to beat it to death again.

        22. Knightsky

          Or perhaps her good twin, rather.

      2. HMRC4EVR

        If there’s no goatee, then I’m guessing evil clone, Shattered Glass counterpart, or long lost twin kidnapped by aliens, sent back to Earth to prepare for their imminent invasion.

        1. RedFloyd

          As long as it isn’t a sign of a shift in mentality from world-hate to self-hate, things should be alright.

        2. StClair

          “Wait… of course! Amnesia!”
          “No.”
          “Evil clone.”
          “No.”
          “Android replica!”
          “No…”

      3. Plasma Mongoose

        Wait until you meet the rest of the Aside family; Pat, Mat, Parry, Sen, Reg, Fel, Herb and Petra.

        1. Sue Aside

          You missed Amb, Basil, Bird, Caan, Christ, Czar, Dee, Flora, Herr, Luke, Phil, Ratte, and Tairan

        2. Tacos

          That’s a lot of Asideseses…

        3. Sue Aside

          It could be the username variant of Plasmamongoose, except for needing moderation for each time =p

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Unfortunately all the synonyms for plasma are based on the blood not the element state.

        5. lightsabermario

          You could go with other states of matter, like Solid Mongoose or Liquid Mongoose or… WAIT. Mongooses eat snakes. YOUR NAME IS A PLAY ON SOLID SNAKE, ISN’T IT?

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          Yes, yes it is. Years ago in a forum or was it a comment section, we were discussing possible new codenames for Metal Gear and when the subject of the perfect codename for a character created explicitly to defeat Solid Snake and thus the name Plasma Mongoose was born and a few years later, I decided to stop using dozens of different names in different places and stick with Plasma Mongoose for all the places I comment at.

        7. Disloyal Subject

          I assume Pat and Mat have middle names beginning in ‘R.’

        8. gwalla

          Pataricide?

        9. gwalla

          What are paticide and maticide?

      4. Mr. Random

        She changed it a couple days ago after she started getting tired of the jokes.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          More like finished getting tired of the jokes.

        2. Opus the Poet

          I thought it was in response to my undead counterpart reporting that his universe’s Jen had just posted her own suicide video to the comments somehow over there and torn another dimensional gate. I guess that means that will be the last we see of him.

        3. Nightsbridge

          That entire comment train got deleted and was pretty tasteless, no lie.

        4. Opus the Poet

          That’s too bad. But the posting of the video at least reveals how that universe’s Jen was able to get first post if she was able to put things up before they happened. I had to sleep, so I’m wondering how tasteless it got, but on the other hand I really don’t want to know.

        5. DarkVeghetta

          In all fairness to the comment section, someone that consistently does something that attracts attention is really asking for… well, attention. But it seems she learned that she really doesn’t want to be famous – and now only her legend shall remain.

    3. MrZombieScordo

      I’m glad that the person that is probably jen is back, not for “first comment is so important” thing. but because even with commenting first, your comments are always really good

  2. sjmcc13

    *Terminal Error Encountered*
    *Reboot required*

    1. leoatrox

      *ERROR* File corrupted! Please load from earlier save!

      1. Michael Steamweed

        Click here to download and install Joyce 10.

  3. otusasio451

    Well, it’s time to reboot Joyce. Someone press the Ctrl-Alt-Delete buttons on her sweater. I’ll get the hammer.

    1. Someone

      no no no you have to take a toothpick to the little button for a hard reset

      1. Chinoy Industries, Ltd.

        She’s not hannelore, it can’t be that hard.

        1. Someone

          what if you took out her disk, wiped it with a cloth and put it back in?

        2. Tacos

          There’s always the tried and true N64 method of blowing into the cartridge.

        3. Dragon_Nataku

          Reach over and thwack her like a PSX

        4. otusasio451

          True. With her, you need a toothpick that’s been sterilized and autoclaved in a BSL-4 lab. Otherwise the system won’t start back up at all.

        5. Rycan

          BSL-4 lab? “Well, the good news is that you’ve been reset successfully. The bad news is that you may have an HIV infection now. See, turns out I may have grabbed the wrong toothpick…”

        6. TJ Pittsburgh

          If I remember correctly, HIV is only BSL2 or BSL2+ if tissue culture-concentrated, mostly on account of it not being aersol-transmitted and generally difficult to acquire. If HIV was BSL4, there would be much less HIV research due to the very few BSL4 facilities around. (I work in BSL3 with Alphaviruses.)

      2. Fred

        Try [Alt]+[SysReq]+ (in order) R,E,I,S,U,B …

      3. Strangeshapes

        Had so many obscene jokes go through my head at this…

        1. Kelly

          It’s not obscene, it’s the Linux Magic SysReq recovery

      4. John

        Let’s not do a hard reset on Joyce, that was already done in the other timeline.

        1. BrotherFlounder

          That was more of a reformat.

    2. Doctor_Who

      Her face is like that permanently.

  4. Hollister Dixon

    SYSTEM ERROR OH MY GOD

    …WESLEYYYYYY

  5. otusasio451

    Oh, God. Dina is learning humor now. SOON SHE WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Her emotion chip works much better than Data’s.

      1. merbrat

        *snrk* I was just thinkin the same direction!!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          All we need now is for Dina to show that she’s fully functional and willing to experiment in multiple techniques.

        2. OnyxIdol

          +1

        3. BrotherFlounder

          Dammit, now I’m shipping Dina and Tasha Yar.

      2. Andrusi

        Now I want her to sing the lifeforms song.

    2. Yet_One_More_Idiot

      Oh Dina, y u so adorkable….I think you just broke Joyce. 😛

  6. a4lbi

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

  7. brionl

    I think they broke Joyce.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      You break her, you bought her. 😀

      1. Doctor_Who

        Does that mean Dina has two girlfriends now? Damn, that girl is efficient.

    2. NinjaNick

      She’ll be stuck like that for hours. 😛

      1. David H.

        “Oh great, you’ve triggered her…”

  8. Plasma Mongoose

    Someone needs to turn Joyce off and then on again…

    1. Wack'd

      Are you sure she’s definitely plugged in?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Flip her switches just to be sure.

        1. cynthash

          Upload a new patch, just to make sure she’s functioning online.

        2. Mada

          Ohh mmyyyy~~

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Oooooooh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

    2. gkheyf

      first walky, then ethan

    3. zach

      I nominate Sal.

  9. Stephen R. Bierce

    A minor contributing to the delinquency of an adult. How novel.

    1. Stephen R. Bierce

      *plays Chic’s “The Freak” on the Muzak*

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Who’s the minor? Dina’s legal as far as I’m aware.

      1. Rutee

        I mean, ‘legal’ and ‘not a minor’ aren’t the same thing, but in context, I’m pretty sure it’s Becky (Who is ALSO 18, so still no)

    3. Lord Stoneheart

      I’m pretty sure everyone in the room is 18 or older.

  10. Jabberwocky

    you should have a tag for the joyce freakout panel

    1. Rutee

      I love Becky and Dina so hard right now.

    2. airyu

      Ahhh this should so be a tag!

    3. John

      What to call it?

      System 32 Joyce

      Blue Screen Joyce

      Broken Joyce

      1. Opus the Poet

        BSOD Joyce

      2. HMRC4EVR

        Matty Collector Joyce

  11. TJ Pittsburgh

    This supports my theory that Becky and Walky are brain twins. I swear: everything that comes out of her mouth, I can imagine him saying the same thing!

    1. Wack'd

      I really want to see the two of them continue to be friends.

      Ooo! Double-date!

      1. gkheyf

        so, walky/dorathy/becky/dina go to dinner…they do couple stuff, discuss paleontology, burp a song…and joyce is not invited.

        …on the bright side, maybe this freak-out rendered her unconscious and she’s just having a nightmare!

        1. Mada

          Dorothy and Dina talk about evolution and other godless subjects and each one keeps pausing here and there because she’s gotten used to Joyce interrupting.

        2. SonicBlueRanger

          Becky continues here one sided Rivalry with Dorothy by “Accidently” spilling stuff on her. Holy Crap this needs to happen.

        3. Darkoneko

          Oh, right, Becky has no reason to be passive aggressive with Dotty now. Hopefully.

        4. gkheyf

          Old habits die hard, but Dina can train her with a spray bottle

    2. sjmcc13

      So Becky is really the one who is Walky with boobs… and not Sal.

      1. gkheyf

        but to get a perfect boobed walky, you need becky in sal’s body…with dina watching >_>

        remorseisfortheweakiregretnothing!!!

        1. TJ Pittsburgh

          I’m sure Becky would really enjoy being in Sal’s body . . .

        2. Mada

          …BWAHAHAHAHAHA

    3. Nightsbridge

      “HEY, GUESS WHAT, I’M A LESBIAN” is kinda stretching it.

      1. gkheyf

        I could totally see Walky telling that

        1. gkheyf

          How the frig does “saying” even turn into “telling”? Is the Swype algorithm just messing with me? What do you want from me phoooone???

  12. Lapin

    She had to hear it sometime.

  13. spriteless

    Ahh man I wonder how many times Willis made that face irl to learn to draw it so great.

  14. Dana

    Brilliant. I mean, uh, clever girl.

  15. Viking

    Oh dear… Joyce has been broken. Where’s the reset button?

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      You think with the amount of times that’s happened so far they would have that installed.

    2. Tobias

      And then a portal opened, Dexter popped out with a mind wipe device, and DoA got hit with the biggest case of Cerberus Syndrome ever.

  16. Silvester Crow

    I could just imagine Joe walking in because of athe joke, saying “I was summoned by the sexy.”

    1. Wack'd

      “My pants suddenly got tight and I have no idea why.”
      “Never touch me.”

      1. Silvester Crow

        I just re read the entire roomies, its walky and joyce and walky this past week, and that’s exactly what I was thinking of!

  17. gkheyf

    i really, truly do feel bad about us constantly doing this to joyce, but she is just so much more amusing as a mark than as a person. i hope my evil never leaks out in the real world

    1. Chinoy Industries, Ltd.

      Take it from a soulless industrial conglomerate: manipulating and making fun of people is so much easier when you just give in and do it to everyone.

      1. gkheyf

        hey hey, soulless industrial conglomerates are people, too! in fact, give them the vote, i say. well, even more of the vote.

  18. valiskr3

    I think think I could love these two enough but here we are.

    1. Mada

      I only just noticed that not only does Becky have her arm around Dina when they walk in, but Dina’s got her arm around Becky as well.

      Its the small things. :3

      1. spiderfan14

        I think they’re the comics cutest couple.

  19. detective boomwolf

    Joyce’s face in the fourth panel is the face of someone who just watched their favorite character die in Game of Thrones.

  20. Yotomoe

    I’m ashamed of you Dina. No “In your bed”? Sloppy Sloppy work.

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Well she’s still a rookie at trolling.

    2. gkheyf

      which, coincidentally, is also an accurate description

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      That would have tipped Joyce’s mind just a bit too much.

    4. Kamino Neko

      Physical impossibility doesn’t aid a joke.

      1. newllend(henryvolt)

        Oh ya that’s right she’s not in Joyce’s room anymore.

        1. Tacos

          As of the day before, Becky is now staying in Billie’s old room. There’re beds there.

  21. airyu

    Can someone link the other Joyce freak out strip pretty please?

    1. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

      I’m pretty sure this goes against my namesake but here.

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/04-the-bechdel-test/gasp/

      I think there might be a third one of these floating around out there as well but damn if I know where it is.

      1. airyu

        Thank you so much! I didn’t realize it was this far back!

        An aside: I love your icon! Yay Evelyne!

    2. Catullus

      We’ve got, not just one, but two others.

      1. liahansen

        thank you so much

      2. airyu

        Thank you! I totally forgot about the second one!

    3. Jackson

      Gotcha covered.

      1. airyu

        Thank you!

  22. inqntrol

    Joyce.exe has stopped working.

  23. Josh

    I read that with such a deadpan. I hope that is right.

  24. Just Here

    Oh yeah, Dina’s an aspie all right. Gender & sexuality issues abound with aspies.

    Rebooting Joyce is easy, though. Grab her butt.

    1. MeghanTheDreamCrusher

      I think what she has is a lack of issue though…

    2. gkheyf

      dina and becky should do it together, i think. it’ll be their first joint activity

      1. Just Here

        No, no, no. Not Becky, just Dina. We’re going for shock value, not making it awkward.

    3. spiderfan14

      how is it an “issue”?

    4. David

      You have that confused with rebootying.

  25. Pierre-Eric

    Oh my, it seems the Dinasaurus is evolving!

    1. gkheyf

      i’ve been burnt on this before. how about we settle on ‘adapting’ or ‘acclimating’?

      1. airyu

        But she’s dressed like a pokeyman.

        1. gkheyf

          got the perfect compromise: digivolve

          that’s bound to piss no one off, right?

        2. Disloyal Subject

          Twitch twitch.

        3. Loki

          Cannot tell if you are joking, considering the concept of digivolution changed a few times trough the different seasons and fans keep arguing what the “proper” way is.

          I honestly cannot understand it. I mean, it is obviously the one from the third season where the Tamers and their Digimon merge into one body.

        4. gkheyf

          …that makes me a bit queasy. No, Tai! What’re you doing??

      2. Disloyal Subject

        Let’s go with ‘acclimating,’ since that’s the most accurate.

  26. Raen

    …I actually believed her at first. I mean, it wasn’t like it was actually going to be depicted on the main site, was it?

    1. airyu

      Yeah but wouldn’t there be more build up? The other ones made it very obvious that “hey, sex and possible slipshine is right here!!!” This one was just “fade to black, next scene!”

    2. Dana

      I figured she was confused with nomenclature, much as when she thinks of first base as being holding hands. That they’d done something far more innocent.

      1. airyu

        Okay, if I’m going to admit this it might as well be here: I’m an American, in my twenties and engaged, and honestly thought first base is holding hands or maybe hugging. So, what is it then?

        1. Yumi

          Co-commanding an army.

        2. Clif

          Language!

        3. Dana

          First base: kissing, chaste or deep both count. Second: Getting in the shirt. Metaphor breaks down for guy/guy sex. Third: I’m not really sure on this one, but “heavy petting” and oral sex are both possibilities. Basically it hasn’t evolved with the times so it’s pretty worthless. Metaphor is now strained to useless for lesbian sex as well. Home: full on penetrative sex. Definition only clear for penile/vaginal sex.

        4. Kryss LaBryn

          I always thought third base was hands in the pants, but no direct genital-on-genital contact (which would be home base, although maybe oral counts as well? Gods, now I don’t even know. Hands in the pants for third, though).

        5. vlademir1

          An outdated metaphor that gets used in some fairly bad taste and sketchy ways.

          Seriously though, the traditional sequence is:
          First base is kissing (ie mouth to mouth)
          Second base is making out with light petting
          Third base is heavy petting
          Home is penetration

        6. Mada

          Home plate with this ship is when Becky finally sees Dina without dinosaur apparel on her head.

        7. Kelly

          The base system is confusing: https://xkcd.com/540/

        8. ezrast

          I learned it as: French, Feel, Finger, Fuck.

      2. Nightsbridge

        Considering that she is very aware of exactly what Amber and Danny do, I think that the great mystery of what ‘sex’ is is no mystery to her.

        1. Brady Kj

          I learned when I was young that first base is kissing and a home run is sex. I’ve later been told that second taste is feeling the breasts and third base is feeling the genitals. I’ve also heard that the base system has evolved in some ways so that first base has to be French kissing and third base is oral sex. But all I know for sure is home run.

          I don’t know what these heavy petting and light petting are. Could somebody explain them? Are they some obscure 1940s terms like “friend of Dorothy”? Where do you people learn such old-timey phrases? Do you watch a lot of plays from the 1940s?

  27. liahansen

    FINALLY

  28. Doctor Doom

    Doom is enjoying this relationship already. Seeing more interaction between the two of them in the near future shall in fact be the highlight of Doom’s day.

    1. Someone

      Doom is easily distracted from world domination by the relationship of two college girls.

      1. liahansen

        Didn’t you hear? Doom recently conquered the multiverse. Now he has all the time in the world for shipping college girls

        1. Mr. Morningstar

          I can just imagine Doctor Doom sitting in his pajamas looking up fanart and saying to himself quietly “My OTP”

        2. Dean

          And he posts long, rambling critiques of other peoples slashfics that don’t really make sense.

        3. Darkoneko

          Not particulary different from a lot of people then 🙂

        4. Li

          Doom prefers to write his own slashfics! Definitely pushing the definition of “work safe” comic panel here. (The brunette is Loki. If you weren’t following the “siege” storyline, it gets confusing. This is not something that is literally happening, but apparently a Doom daydream.) (The blonde is Emma Frost.)

        5. Mada

          Doom has the best daydreams.

    2. otusasio451

      Hey, Doom? Uh, sorry about the Fantastic Four movies. If you need an army of loyal followers to help you destroy Fox Studios, I’m more than happy to join.

  29. Triniking1234

    Yup. That’s 100% completely wrecked right there.

  30. AnvilPro

    Off-screen Sarah is holding up a big cue card reading “10!”

    1. gkheyf

      elsewhere, walky doesn’t know why, but he now sports a bemused smirk. dorothy notices no difference

  31. Jon P

    You can tell this is a solid partnership by the way they fist-bump in the last panel.

    1. gkheyf

      that’s what it’ll be like when dina is elected president.

      she was born here, right? if so, lucky clever girl. no matter how much apple pie clogs in my veins, i will have never had been born here

  32. Kravis

    With that face, Joyce just created an avatar for the ages.

  33. Sympathy

    Cue Slipshine

    1. gkheyf

      a slipshine that is entirely joyce freak-out faces. who’d pay for it?

      1. Tacos

        Everybody.

        1. Darkoneko

          Everybody’s that’s in horror stuff ?

    2. Disloyal Subject

      I think I saw an edit of Mask or No Mask once that censored everything with Joyce freakout faces. That was… weird.

      1. Nightsbridge

        That is how Willis censors all slipshine previews on his tumblr. ALL.

  34. Khaner

    Disaster is afoot, my friend.

  35. dailybrad

    Sarah might continue to like having Dina as a new friend.

    1. Mad Archimedes

      Speaking of which… wasn’t she supposed to be spying?

      1. darkoneko

        Oh.

  36. Tacos

    Ha, Joyce has BSoD’ed. Might take her a while to reboot.

  37. Colineo

    Never change Joyce. Well, continue to grow and develop into a more knowledgeable, understanding and resilient person, but never change.

  38. Kamino Neko

    I was expecting Becky to be the one to say it, not Dina, but I totally knew this was going to happen…

    1. Strangeshapes

      Nah, Joyce probably knows Becky well enough the she could detect the lie. With Dina it’s more unexpected and harder to read.

  39. T Campbell

    I’m warming, not to this pairing– Lord knows Becky deserves some happiness and Dina some answers to her curiosity– but to its chances of at least medium-term survival. The two of them make a surprisingly good team.

    Although Becky, you probably should’ve led with “Hey, good news AND bad news, folks, I got a girlfriend and it’s NOT the reason I’d get kicked out of a school! Nope, DINA’s not the reason at all! That’d be my vengeful dad who’s probably going to make it back to campus by early tomorrow.” I’m just sayin’, that’s information worth not skipping over.

    1. gkheyf

      yeah, i sure hope that they have not forgotten that. there are important things other than adorable lesbianism…i suppose

      1. Mr. Morningstar

        honestly im not sure there IS anything more important then that

    2. Darkoneko

      I guess it’ll come to the conversation a bit later.

    3. Disloyal Subject

      Yeah, but then they wouldn’t get to torment Joyce.

    4. io

      I think shes a little more elated about dinaness than she is worried about dadness. But as she said in the other comic, she doesnt like bringing up her problems and worries to others. Dina is probably the one who is going to bring that up, once the aftermath of their Joyce slam.

      1. Darkoneko

        Welcome to the space jam, welcome to the butt slam~

    5. Strangeshapes

      In my headcanon, I imagine Dina going straight to the RA, and asking for help. Ruth starts to freak, and Dina deadpans some episode of Ruth/Billie shenannegans in which the two of them missed her standing behind a door. Ruth is on board and brings in Leslie for help.
      That, or Dina actually read the supporting materials handed out by the gay-curious meet-up and can get help that way.
      Or she blackmails Ethan and/or Danny for help in exchange for not telling Amber.
      Or she gets Mike drunk and he helps. But it doesn’t end well.
      So many options for badassery from Dina.

    6. Cerberus

      While yes, everything you said, I think her particular phrasing reveals just how much PTSD she carries from everything that went down in Anderson. It’s legitimately shocking to her that she’s getting a romantic relationship and it’s not going to be the cause of doom and gloom in her life and that maybe she can start rebuilding a full lesbian life outside of all that.

      It’s simultaneously heart-breaking and adorably healing.

      1. thejeff

        I think her PTSD and other issues long predate Anderson. She’s really good at the whole fake happy thing. Enough that her best friend is completely taken in – and probably has been for years.
        That speaks to long practice. And great need.

        “I’m fun, I’m loud, and I’m not this … stupid mess”

  40. Edupoet81

    Ha! Dina is learning to mess with people effectively. That Joyce freak-out panel really doesn’t get old.

    It seems that Becky is learning as well.
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/sneaking/

    Also, she said “hell.” Can’t recall is she ever dropped an h-bomb before, though she did drop an f-bomb recently. Still, she stammered on the word, indicating that it’s not a word she’s accustomed to use it, and reverted to fundie fake-swearing immediately after, with a “Goshdangit, Joyce!”

    Here, the h-bomb just seemed to just roll off her tongue. I could say Becky is *evolving* but I should probably refrain, for Joyce’s sake. She might not reboot for days, which would be years in real-time. We’d get comic after comic of Joyce with that same expression.

    Incidentally, I loved the fist-bump in the final panel.

    1. Tacos

      Well Becky is from a fundie background so “hell” probably isn’t considered a swear word.

      1. vlademir1

        At least in the US, it really depends on context. Generally any use outside of specifically referring to the place where the damned are tormented for eternity in either a cosmological or theological discourse would be considered swearing.

        1. Tacos

          I just meant that it was probably used enough times around her that it’s lost its sweary-ness. “Damn” might also be in the same boat now that I think about it.

  41. Too Old To Be Cool

    “I think you broke her, Dina.”

    1. gkheyf

      she tried to add an extra bin to joyce’s brain diagram from that one time

      1. gkheyf

        but joyce’s brain was busy fielding a torrent of images involving her best friend doing the horizontal dinosaur with an evilutionist

        1. Mada

          Open the door, get on the floor, Becky’s gonna do the Dinasaur…

        2. gkheyf

          Well, my friend, I think that you and I would get along famously

  42. Darkoneko

    So THAT’s what that Joyce preview was for, lol.

    Now, the ultimate tsukkomi combo is booooorn

    1. Kamino Neko

      The combo here are playing the boke. The tsukkomi is a solo job.

      1. Darkoneko

        nandeyanen~

  43. Packy

    So THIS is the comic with that frame!

  44. TheLurkerAbove

    This is the start of something very beautiful.

  45. Yossarian Duck

    Panel 4 happens.

    Suddenly all is black around Joyce.

    Eventually a light appears in the distance, and she, not knowing what else to do, walks towards it.

    As she gets closer, a figure appears. Joyce can see that it has wings, and she wonders if this is an angel, taking her to paradise.

    She can see that the figure is that of a beautiful woman not in white like she had been told, but in pink and purple.

    “Where am I going?” Joyce asks

    The Winged Woman smiles at her and with a flourish of her wand says:

    “WELCOME TO SLIPSHINE! A SITE WHERE THE JOYS OF SEX ARE DISPLAYED THROUGH COMICS!”

    Panel 4 happens, and the cycle begins again.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Groundhog day?

    2. Strangeshapes

      I am so on board with this.

      1. Yossarian Duck

        Secretly all the comics on Slipshine exist deep within Joyce’s mind. It’s like the Tommy Westfall theory, but with more porking.

        1. Yossarian Duck

          *Westphall

  46. Chubomik

    Now that’s some profile picture bait

  47. Dr. Smart

    so Dina is Pan… that is so cool, I still say Asexual Panromantic but I suppose Pansexual isn’t unlikely.

    1. Darkoneko

      She doesn’t really know

    2. Mada

      All we really know right now is that Dina is most likely Beckysexual.

    3. SonicBlueRanger

      Yeah that seems the most likely.

    4. Cerberus

      Yup, it’s looking like the bi/pan crowd were right with regards to Dina’s sexuality and I concede to that.

  48. C Baker

    So, um, what’s going on with Becky’s eye in that first panel? Is it just randomly floating on her hair?

    1. Bibulb

      I’m assuming that her hair there is kinda wispy – it’s been something that Willis has been doing throughout this. I’ve found it a little distracting, but meh – style is style. Works for him, works for me.

      1. Opus the Poet

        It is an artifact from the days when comics were drawn on paper, before the days of computers and drawing programs. The eye was drawn on top of the hair to show translucency of the hair. I have seen it done by putting the hair and the face on different levels and making the hair some level of transparent less than 100% but more than 0%.

  49. Bibulb

    SO MANY THINGS
    (A) That you redraw the Joyce AAAAAA panel appropriately and yet so carefully each time is beautiful.
    (B) Joyce holding the face in the last panel is hilarious.
    (C) Dina and Becky fistbumping? GLORIOUS.

    1. io

      Willis has a way of pleasing and abusing us with the comic in such a way that theres no escape.

  50. Caffieanted

    Poor Joyce but it’s so funny when she makes that face.

  51. AgentKeen

    Haha, her eyes are a lot shinier this freakout.

  52. Clorr

    Ok, I just got a slipshine account and read walky performs a sex….
    I can’t wait for Dina to figure out why mammals might not be so wierd.

    1. Strangeshapes

      Really? I can totally imagine a Slipshine that ends with Becky sweaty and panting and Dina smiling and musing, “huh, mammals are so weird.”

  53. Sock_V

    So is that Joyce’s brain breaking or her O-face as she secretly imagines those two in the sack?

    1. Tacos

      Why not both?

    2. BenRG

      It’s the former as a result of the latter.

      Joyce’s curse appears to be that she has an excellent imagination. Worse, it insists on showing her things that she would be happier and more stable not thinking about!

  54. Idon'tcarenomore

    Yeah they are a good match, never would have thunk it. But they are.

    The fist bump is great.

    Dina blew Joyce’s switches -lol at that one, now wiping ice cream off the kybd.

    Love Joyce’s freakouts. No idea how Mr. W. does that so well, but each is excellent.

    ps Don’t forget Toedad guys!

  55. cmd1095

    Not sure if Joyce even heard that it was a joke lol, she might still be in panic shell-shocked mode

  56. Clif

    For panel 4 I hear Hitchcock music.

  57. Dorje Sylas

    On the updside, looks like Becky is moving past that crush Joyce. She’s got another woman to think of as a sexual object now, instead of you in a stockholm syndrome way.

    1. blegh

      uh yeah, definitely, mutual attraction is absolutely the same as sexual objectification, perfect choice of words there

      1. A

        Agreed, that needs to be phrased less creepy.

        Dina and Becky are both open, honest, and completely upfront, making it one of only relationships that could really survive. And they both definitely like each other.

        1. A

          You know what? Fuck rephrasing. The last sentence about objectification just needs to stop. Forever.

        2. Opus the Poet

          There is nothing wrong about thinking of people as sex objects, as long as that is not the only way you think about them. “Hey look at this amazing person with a fully functional brain that has ideas and emotions and creates things, who is also like a firecracker in bed.” That is the healthy way a person is a sex object, as a facet of a personality rather than as the whole of their existence.

        3. blegh

          u clearly don’t understand the concept of objectification, pls read some nussbaum (and/or do a rudimentary google search)

        4. Spencer

          You wouldn’t really be looking at them as a sex object in that case. You’d acknowledge that they’re attractive, but there’s a huge difference between that and treating them as existing only for your gratification, which Becky absolutely has never done that to Joyce.

        5. Adam Black

          It could be worse.

          You could look up Satres definition of ‘Objectification” in Existential Phenomenology,
          and then cringe forever ,every time you see and hear it , used incorrectly.

          Or look it up anyways. I warn you , Its like “your and You’re” .

  58. kay

    …Dina has much to learn from this one.

  59. Robert

    this strip is the cutes….

  60. BenRG

    Poor Joyce! That isn’t an image that her brain was really ready to handle, was it?

  61. Kaunisenkeli

    I nearly lost it at work over the Joyce freak out panel. That face is priceless. xD

  62. Rocketboy1313

    And I was expecting the announcement of a new slipshine comic.

  63. NinjaNick

    Hello? How many fingers am I holding, Joyce?

    1. ninja_jesus

      One.

      It’s the middle finger.

      1. gkheyf

        Why Carla is not premed

  64. Agemegos

    How did Becky learn this stuff? Wasn’t Joyce the best-socialised in their homeschooling clique?

    1. io

      Its a simple joke, dina just makes it sound funny

      1. gkheyf

        It is a joke, but it will happen. Lots. They will do it everywhere. Their clothes and hair will always be messed up. Whenever you see them, you’ll know. Are you ready, Joyce? It’s just beginning. Beware…

    2. Strangeshapes

      No, remember Sarah asked Becky if *she* was the reason Joyce was halfway normal and Becky said, “Yep.” I think Becky was always a little rebellious and she mentioned loving to make Joyce have the Joyce face.

    3. Nightsbridge

      Also remember, measure of what makes someone ‘best socialized’ in a christian homeschool group proably has sa lot to do with adhering to christian doctrine and tradition as well.

    4. Enkai

      You can understand what a joke is and still not be as well socialized. Becky’s loud and in your face mannerisms, and more tellingly, the cast’s reactions to them when they first meet her, don’t exactly scream of one with high level social skills. It’s possible she knows but doesn’t care about social norms.

      I guess my point is that extroversion does not indicate level of social skill.

      1. Darkoneko

        Becky barely freed herself from her old group’s crazy “social norms”

      2. Cerberus

        That can be a thing. A lot of my high school friends were people coming from that Pre-Millennial Dispensationalist Fundie culture and so when they were actually figuring out the secular world and who they were, they ended up being a bit behind with regards to social development especially with regards to secular norms.

        I ended up doing a lot of work with a lot of them to help out with things like figuring out how to date, sex education, and how to drain the infected boil of casual unbelievably bigoted statements about race, religion, or gender that they didn’t so much believe as just came out sometimes because it was everywhere in their raising environment (part of my best friend’s church environment was the idea that black people were soaked in sin which is why their skin is darker as black is the color of evil).

        It can sometimes require rehabilitation levels of work.

        1. darkoneko

          That is scary

  65. Asper Storm

    I think those two love birds broke Joyce.

  66. Lulu

    Damn you Dina, I thoguht I missed some Slipshine update.
    No fair little lady, no fair.

  67. Zombycow

    getting a grandpa joestar vibe from her face. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70utG1L5bfU

  68. Torra

    I love every strip that involves a Joyce freak out panel. This one is definitely up there in my favourites. Plus cute Becky/Dina shenannigans oh my goodness

  69. Torra

    also its gonna be interesting how this plays out, as Joyce really doesn’t clash well with Dina hahaha

  70. Liz

    I have been waiting so long for the Joyce freak-out panel!

  71. Bagge

    Dina *turns to readers*: No, actually. We DID have sex and the events are recorded at Slipshine.
    Readers: SHUT UP AND TAKE OUR MONEY
    Dina: It was still a lie, playing on your expectations for a humorous effect. *fistbumps Becky*

    1. Mada

      I want this to be a thing; an advertised slipshine comic whose preview page shows one kiss between them…

      and it turns out the actual comic is just the two of them lying back in bed and talking about dinosaurs and evolution. The kiss panel was just something from the very end when Becky kisses her goodnight and they roll over and fall asleep.

      1. Strangeshapes

        Hey! Some people would find light petting and dinosaur conversations highly erotic. Don’t knock it till you try it!

      2. neeks

        Dina Performs a Cuddle

    2. timemonkey

      Not my money

  72. Bagge

    Awesome Joyce-face: achieved. I think we have a new Slipshine censor bar…

  73. Bluesnake462

    Dina strikes me as asexual

    1. ninja_jesus

      Why?

    2. Pinja

      Reality disagrees

      1. blegh

        yes of course, irl ace ppl are physically incapable of making sex jokes, or in fact mentioning sex in conversation in any way

    3. RedFloyd

      You strike me as somebody who hasn’t been reading the comic, and how that bias is exactly the kind of “she seems abnormal, so she must not be sexualized” stigma this arc is going against.

      1. pretty flacko

        Rekt

      2. blegh

        please explain the scathing political critique of ace headcanons this arc is administering in greater detail i am anxious to hear it

    4. Spencer

      …Wasn’t “Dina is Ace” the common theory? I mean, nothing she’s said here precludes it. It’s not confirmed, but you guys are acting like he’s saying “Danny has to be gay because he likes guys” or something.

      1. Cerberus

        Yeah, that part of the shutdown is kinda uncomfortable as someone who is ace, even though I agree that Panel 2 seems to suggest fairly strongly that Dina is actually a flavor of bi/pan. She could end up being panromantic ace or panromantic demi, but that seems less likely now that this comic exists than with the evidence we had before that…

        I’ll admit. I’m a little sad about it, but I imagine this is super awesome for pan people who want more representation.

        1. Spencer

          For what it’s worth, I’m still between “Dina is bi/panromantic Ace” and “Dina is bi/panromantic Demi” as it make the most sense to me from what we’ve seen from her. I feel that for Dina, it’s less about being drawn to people she’s attracted to, and more being attracted to who she’s drawn to; it’s just that Dina is unconcerned about the answer so she doesn’t put a lot of effort into pinpointing her exact definition unlike, say, Danny, who struggled with his feelings and had to find an answer.

    5. Plasma Mongoose

      Dina is Questioning going into Experimenting.

  74. blegh

    very happy becky’s finally over her biphobic phase

    1. ninja_jesus

      I wouldn’t say biphobic; maybe bi-ignorant.

    2. Tacos

      There is no phobia on her part though. She just said she didn’t know that that was a thing. Actually, she accepted bisexuality being a thing much easier than Danny.

    3. A

      Yeah, seriously. Stop assigning bigotry to people who literally are not aware something exists.

      Bi-erasure is a real thing, and I have experienced it, even from “friends”, but use it to describe situations when it it is actually called for.

      1. Spencer

        I think bi-phobia is the wrong word to ascribe to Becky, but her earlier instance with Billie was bi-erasure. Billie told her that she liked both and Becky said it was impossible. Danny was in the same boat until Dorothy cleared things up for him, much like how Becky understands now.

      2. blegh

        i’m sorry, i don’t think i understand what you’re saying? are you saying becky’s behavior was bi erasure rather than biphobia, or actually neither? tbh i’m not a native speaker & i don’t really see how the two are separate phenomenons rather than one being a subset of the other, but i’ll be happy to correct myself

        1. BrotherFlounder

          It was neither, as Becky had literally never heard of the concept of bisexuals in her life. If I remember correctly, Danny had also never heard of bisexuality. That’s neither erasure nor biphobia – though the latter (and maybe a bit of the former) is *why* she’d never heard of it. (As I understand it, bi erasure requires one to know of and reject the concept of bisexuality.)

  75. JTD

    Becky/Dina for next Slipshine.

  76. Mada

    This makes me want Becky to find out about Ruth and Billie for the sake of an uneasy alliance; Ruth doesn’t throw Becky out, Becky doesn’t out Ruth and Billie.

    Cue the asian-redhead double date 🙂

    1. Nightsbridge

      I expect it to come up later, with Ruth asking why the hell Becky is ALWAYS on HER floor, and Dina saying ‘she is my girlfriend, she often stays in my while while we-.’

      “I do NOT need the details.”

      ‘-. . . Talk about dinosaurs?’

    2. blegh

      hell yeah! i need some wlw solidarity asap

  77. Darwin

    Joyce appears to be broken now. They should just stand her in a corner until she finishes rebooting.

  78. Duncan (not THAT one, though)

    DOH! Someone hit Joyces’ reset button, or her face just might stay that way!

    1. m2iCodeJockey

      That is a visual representation of BSOD. I think we’re waiting for mem dump to finish writing before the next reboot…

  79. Les

    I hate the Wizard of Oz movie, but for some reason Joyce’s face reminded me of the Wicked Witch of the West screaming “I’m melting, I’m melting!” Becky is turning out to be a really good find for Dina; telling a risqué joke and fist-bumping in the same cartoon! Who knows what’s next (besides Willis of course)?

    1. m2iCodeJockey

      Glinda is the antagonist, not Bestinda (Wicked of West.)

      1. Kryss LaBryn

        In the original, it’s the Wicked Witch of the West who melts into the floor after the bucket of water (no idea in Wicked; haven’t seen that yet). If you haven’t seen it (the Judy Garland version), check it out! 🙂 It’s fun.

        1. m2iCodeJockey

          …The Munchkins sing, because Gingima is dead, under the house.
          Up floats Glinda:
          – “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?”
          – “I’m not any sort of witch! Witches are old and ugly!”
          …
          – “All good witches are beautiful.”

          Starting from that declaration, everything Glinda says is a lie. If fact, the only reason Bestinda is after Dorothy is Glinda stole Gingima’s shoes and put them on Dorothy.

          Glinda was always the antagonist. The audience is watching from Dorothy’s perspective and Dorothy tends to believe whatever she’s told.

          If you watch the movie from Glinda’s perspective, Dorothy is a witch who does not know she’s a witch.

        2. timemonkey

          Considering she was perfectly willing, happy even, to murder Dorothy, her friends and her dog and took great pleasure in the fear and pain she inflicted I have to side with Glinda. She’s keeping a powerful artifact out of the hands of an evil sadistic witch.

        3. m2iCodeJockey

          We don’t know, within the movie, the shoes have any power;
          -Dorothy arrive in a house that held together in a tornado AND landed.
          -Dorothy left with the shoes.
          Dorothy seems to have the power, not the shoes or house.

          Within the movie, Gingima and Bestinda are sisters:
          -The shoes rightfully belong to Bestinda.
          -There was no need for Dorothy to see the Wizard. “You wouldn’t have believed me.” (a lie)
          -The Wizard does not provide anything the group needs.
          -The result of their arrival at the Wizard is he is tested and exposed as someone without power.

          What we can say, within the movie, is Glinda used Dorothy to eliminate her competition for controlling Oz then, got rid of Dorothy.

        4. m2iCodeJockey

          So, if Glinda was only trying to keep the shoes away from Bestinda and not get Bestinda killed by having her challenge Dorothy, she’d have told Dorothy to go back into the house, wish she was in Kansas then, take a nap.

          Dorothy would be back in Kansas without anyone else being harmed.

  80. LordHaw

    You can almost see the BSOD if you look deep into her eyes. Love that face!

  81. Lavawight

    This is the most I’ve laughed at any webcomic so far.

  82. hof1991

    Becky and Dina are focused on the hijinks laden adventure ahead of them, where they will bond over defeating toedad. Slipshine will have to wait.

  83. Lurlock

    Pretty sure I saw this joke on Big Bang Theory, with Amy and Sheldon in place of Dina and Becky. Still funny just due to Joyce-reaction…

    1. Opus the Poet

      Amy is the one played by the girl who played “Blossom”, right? Then it was them assuring Amy’s mother that Amy was heterosexual in the worst way they could have assured her of that fact. Not quite a BSOD reaction, but close. IIRC Amy’s mother never made any further inquiries about her daughter’s love life.

      1. Lurlock

        Actually, Amy’s mother had nothing to do with it. Amy and Sheldon conspired to spread a juicy rumor among their friends as a social experiment. The victim of this prank was Penny, but her reaction was pretty much the same as Joyce’s. (Only slightly less cartoony.)

  84. Darkoneko

    Website has been really laggy since this morning. Is everything alright ?

    1. m2iCodeJockey

      It’ll be okay after a bran muffin and some tea.

  85. Alexx

    OH GOD SOMEONE PUSH JOYCE’S EYES BACK IN, HURRY!

  86. Just Here

    Broken Joyce is bestest Joyce.

  87. Wafflebob

    I have been waiting for this face

  88. Opus the Poet

    Joyce’s eyebrows have achieved orbit after leaving her face permanently.

  89. Bob

    This actually made me laugh out loud – and smile afterward. And if I still smoked I’d want a cigarette now. 🙂

  90. Cerberus

    I’m a little sad about it, but it looks like Dina is both bi/pan romantic and sexual rather than ace. Cie la vie.

    1. Cerberus

      Also, these two are adorable.

    2. Hyli

      I don’t think anything we’ve seen so far means Dina can’t be asexual. :0

    3. blegh

      not necessarily tho, there are plenty of ways to be ace

    4. Bart

      *C’est la vie

    5. BrotherFlounder

      Well, just because she’s making jokes about sex doesn’t mean she’s not asexual.

  91. Plume

    Joyce.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry for the inconvenience. Would you like to send an error report to Jesus?

  92. Tenn

    And now her face is stuck like that forever.

  93. Tenn

    It might just be a slowly shifting art style, but it looks to me like Joyce physically ages five years every time this happens. 😀

  94. Morrison

    Oh cheese this is going to end with Warrior Mary and Toe-dad joining forces isn’t it?

    1. John Madden

      ONLY CAPTAIN HERO CAN SAVE THEM NOW!

  95. man in black

    Now you’ve done it, hopefully she isn’t stuck that way

  96. John Madden

    I imagine Dina speaks in a monotone most of the time, which made it that much funnier to read.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I can totally hear Dina speaking like Rei Ayanami.

  97. Mydnyt

    I know its been mentioned before but i feel the need to mention it again… curse the name of whoever pointed out that the slipshine ad looks like Walky making out with the TA dude… that which has been seen cannot be unseen. Please for all that is holy he needs to pick a different image

    1. ninja_jesus

      I don’t see it.

    2. David M Willis

      i am sorry the image looks like two dudes doing it

      i will replace the image immediately, this is completely unforgivable

      1. John

        I’m kind of sad that you didn’t follow this up by replacing it with an ad for an actual dude-on-dude Slipshine.

  98. Ancient Mariner

    I will never get tired of Dina being Dina. (And learning about humor an’ stuff.)

  99. Christina

    I’m a bit confused, how come people don’t what know what a bisexual is in the comic?

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