204

It’s me
Posted on November 5, 2012 by David M Willis

204 thoughts on “It’s me”

  1. David Herbert

    He’s come to tell her he’s a vampire.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      and that he has been watching her while she sleeps…

      1. NCP19

        He feels…protective of her.

        1. Wonder Wig

          “What was our math homework?”

        2. Aizat

          “Pages 14 through 25. Due tomorrow.”

        3. TPman

          “Thanks. I totally forgot.”
          “Okay. Goodbye.”

        4. Ziaheart

          Is that actually what happened in the book?

        5. iRamble

          No it isn’t. That’s fairly well written and funny. None of that is in those books.

        6. Ziaheart

          Seeing as how we find out what Bella’s mother looks like before we find out what Bella looks like and her mother’s described as
          looking “just like me except longer hair” when we don’t even know what Bella looks like to begin with… I gotta say I don’t trust your account of events.

        7. Somebody

          It should have…

      2. Yotomoe

        She’s so cute when she sleeps. Occasionally she recites bible verses.

        1. wererat

          actually, that might be cannon…

        2. Drunken Nordmann

          And now I have to imagine Joyce as a bible verse-shooting cannon.

        3. ShadowWing Tronix

          She’s a Transformer?

        4. Drunken Nordmann

          Maybe?

        5. RandomPerson12

          Well, I guess that would be another reason for Ethan to hide his homosexuality in order to date her.

    2. Aizat

      Vampires don’t tell their victims they’re vampires. They just take their victims away to their castle.

      1. Historyman68

        Is this a Castlevania reference?

        1. Aizat

          Yes.

    3. tom

      Don’t you mean “batman”?

    4. Somebody

      That’s what should have happened.

    5. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

      But I thought he was a Greaser

  2. Wonder Wig

    Ethan is The Rake. O_O

    1. Aizat

      Or worse, Jeff.

      1. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

        That goofy-looking cartoony-faced dude who looks like he was in a freak Photoshop accident? Are people actually able to take that guy seriously enough to be afraid of him?

    2. Liam

      I think Joe is already the resident Rake.

    3. Liam

      I think Joe is already the resident Rake. Obviously Ethan is the Dandy.

    4. Kaci

      the only rake Ethan is, is the kind that piles up leaves.

      Or in his case, dudes.

      1. Spazman

        you guys are talking about rakes, and all I’m thinking of is the Shortpacked Batman comic where he keeps stepping on rakes.

        heh heh heh….

  3. Lumino

    Dreaming.

    1. Rebecca

      My thoughts exactly. I think Joyce is going to have a sexy dream.

  4. Yotomoe

    I am here to warn you that three ghosts will tell you the error of your waaaaaaays.

    1. Aizat

      Uh, Ebenezer’s is on the other wing.

    2. Maycroft

      Ghost of gayness pass: Harvey Milk.

      1. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

        Ghost of gayness future: Jack Harkness

  5. Tristan J

    “It’s a-me!”

    1. Aizat

      “Mario!”

      “Uncle Mario?”

    2. fellixe

      “Thank you for saving me, but your prince is in another castle!”

      1. Kaci

        “Do you have any pie instead?”

        1. Bradytown

          Or how about some sex “cake”

  6. Ragnal

    I’m putting money on:

    -It’s a dream
    -It’s Mike in a wig

    1. NCP19

      I thought it was Faz at first…despite him not showing up in DoA yet (I think?)

      1. Wack'd

        Guys, Ethan is tagged. The tags don’t lie.

        1. Historyman68

          But sometimes they… omit the truth

      2. Kaci

        it’s still Faz, in spirit.

    2. Steven

      I’ll place a bet on the former.
      It’s going to be a nightmare. I can see it coming.

      1. showler

        Sex dream.

        So…same thing as far as Joyce is concerned.

        1. Steven

          Well, next page is indicating this.
          However, I was more going with “Raped because of the subliminal fears she gained after the party.”

  7. Confuzor

    So how soon until Sarah wakes up and cracks his kneecaps with a baseball bat?

    1. Yotomoe

      I’m just imagining Ethan having to crawl out, knee cap less.

      1. Resne

        Sarah would wake up, look at Ethan, go “Bout damn time,” roll over and go back to sleep.

        1. Raoullefere

          Or request time to fetch some popcorn, since this oughta be memorable.

        2. Spazman

          “Marshall, it’s physics. If the top bunk moves, the bottom bunk moves too.”

      2. Jim

        I’m sure he always wears knee-pads.

        1. I.care.0

          You don’t take out your kneecaps when they crack?

          Weird. ‘-‘

  8. Aizat

    Cue the porno music.

    1. Raoullefere

      Haaall-e-lui-Ah! Haaall-e-lui-Ah! Halleluiah! Halleluiah! Hall-e-lui-ah!
      (gimme a beat!)
      Hal-chick-bow-Haw e-lu-ya Hal-chick-bow-Haw e-lu-ya…

      1. wererat

        i would watch the fuck out of a porno with that music.

      2. Dragon

        YES!

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          Didn’t they use “Hallelujah” in Watchmen?

        2. Raoullefere

          Nah, that was Len Cohen’s. This is from Handel’s Messiah.

          Joyce could probably tell you all about it.

  9. thomas0comer

    “Joyce, this is my room. Yours is in the other wing.”

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      +1 Like

    2. Kernanator

      Ahaha, excellent.

    3. Mogotoo

      We never did see the two part ways.

  10. Joe H

    Lying about not being gay, being super creepy and breaking into girls’ rooms… Yeah, Ethan is totally on a roll with the good decisions.

    1. Yotomoe

      Sorry but Mike told me the only way out of this relationship is to kill you.

      1. Geegles

        More like Mike told me the only way out of this relationship is to sleep with your mom. For a nickel.

        1. some dude

          no, the best way out of this relationship is to trick the other guy with feelings for her to sleep with her mom and give her an audio recording of the “deed”

        2. Usayasha

          Unless you edit and splice the moans and the bangs until the form a sound rather similar to the phrase, “Will you marry me?” I hear that gets ALL the ladies.

    2. Valdrax

      Okay, well now that’s three for three for this being some sort of Twilight reference.

  11. Steven

    This is. . . . this won’t end well. It’s about time we see the true extent of her trauma.

  12. wooskie

    your creepy halloween strip was five days late, jesus christ

    1. Jesus

      You rang?

      1. David

        jesus is sal, who knew

        1. Yotomoe

          Jesus is Amazi-Girl?

        2. DaJoshMaster

          But Amazi-Girl is Galasso!

        3. Joe_Doe

          Therefore Sal is Galasso!

        4. I.care.0

          Does Galasso weights as much as a duck?

        5. Regalli

          Depends, is he wearing the chef hat?

        6. Robin

          Galasso turned me into a newt!

          …

          I’m better now.

        7. I.care.0

          You “got better”, I guess?

        8. Jetstream

          No no, that’s not Jesus. That’s Jesus, Christian Martial Artist!

        9. Aizat

          I thought it was Jesus the bowling ball player.

        10. Chronos

          So *that’s* what the CMA awards are for…

        11. Mogotoo

          But, if Sal is Jesus…then that would make Mrs. Walkerton God!

        12. Mogotoo

          Also, no wonder Joyce admires Sal so much.

        13. thomas0comer

          Everyone is Jesus in Purgatory.

  13. Sporky

    We can’t see his face. How do we know he’s not an IMPOSTER???

    1. Yotomoe

      His eyes are in fact where his mouth should be, and vice-versa.

  14. Doctor_Who

    “I have a terrible confession, that I know will disappoint you and make it impossible for us to continue our relationship. I’m really…Amazi-Girl.”

    1. Aizat

      Then, a zebra in a trench coat with the voice of Macho Man Randy Savage bursts through the walls and yells “OH YEAH!!!”.

    2. Yotomoe

      Oh my gosh! You’re not gonna believe this but I’m secretly….DANNY!

      1. Liam

        And suddenly Ethan finds himself the one who wants what he can’t have, and Danny is just playing along.

  15. Plasma Mongoose

    Theory: Ethan is Basement Cat.

    1. Aizat

      And since I theorized Joyce is Ceiling Cat, does that mean they’ll fight soon?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        YES, all we need now is Long Cat to appear to referee.

        1. thomas0comer

          Sorry, longcat couldn’t fit in the elevator. Instead we have keyboard cat.

  16. Kernanator

    Don’t tell me: even her subconscious knows he’s gay?

  17. Regalli

    There are only two ways this can end.

    Neither of them is pretty. And I’m pretty sure both of them include the bat.

    1. Aizat

      Ethan’s Batman? Not since my discovery of Super Robot Wars had my mind had been blown.

      1. Regalli

        What, you didn’t know Ethan can breathe in space?

  18. Onomatopoeia

    Boiyoiyoing.

    1. Originalslugboy

      That is one weird alarm clock Joyce has.

  19. otusasio451

    This cannot end well. Or it could end fine. I honestly don’t know, just guessing here.

  20. Uniqueantique

    I don’t believe it, wouldn’t be Ethan unless he’s sleepwalking. Whoever that is, he’s in major trouble, you can just feel it coming from Sarah’s room.

  21. Solace

    Wonder how he got in there?

  22. Yotomoe

    I’m Batma-Ethan.

  23. Aizat

    It’s DDP?

    1. Dragon

      Self high five?

      1. Aizat

        FINALLY! Someone who got the reference.

        1. MLBlue

          Thats not a bad thing, Thats a good thing!

  24. Aizat

    Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality…

      1. Kernanator

        Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see…

        1. Grayven

          I’m just a gay boy, I need no sympathy…

        2. AsimovSideburns

          I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy

        3. Aizat

          Because I’m easy come, easy go

        4. Jimmy

          Little high little low

        5. Aizat

          Any way the winds blow doesn’t really matter to me, to me

        6. ADHadh

          Ice is back with my brand new invention!

        7. Jimmy

          ADHadh karaoke fail! :((

        8. DaJoshMaster

          I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy…

  25. Rex Hondo

    “I’m drunk enough to imagine you’re Mike. Let’s do this thing.”

  26. bunivasal

    So what’s gonna happen. Will he admit he’s gay, to her horror? Will he admit he’s gay, to her embarrassment? Will he admit he’s gay, to her arousal?

    I have no idea why, but I want Joyce to bang someone this time around. Just go totes bananaboats for scrotes.

    1. Matt

      Well she did bang someone before. Just took her all the way up until the night before the Martian invasion…

  27. Wack'd

    Ethan knows Joyce likes Twilight!

    1. Aizat

      Joyce likes Twilight? Somehow I doubt it.

      1. David

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/twilight/

        1. Aizat

          Oh right, that………I kinda forgot about that,

        2. AsimovSideburns

          The ability to suppress information is a wonderful tool of the human mind

  28. Aizat

    I used to have a dream like this. Only instead of Ethan, it’s a hot, psychotic, axe-wielding lady.

    1. Yotomoe

      Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeres JENNY!

      1. Aizat

        Nah, she just wakey wakey in a menacing tone.

  29. bunivasal

    Wait, Dave. Is… is this a Joyce sex dream?

    Hahaha, buckle up!

    1. Yotomoe

      A sex dream for Joyce is holding hands and occaisonally making eye contact and giggling.

      1. Kernanator

        Holding hands? Eye contact? How scandalous!

        1. Roborat

          And maybe she will show . . . some ankle! Oh gasp!

  30. LBD "Nytetrayn"

    Somehow, that doesn’t look like Ethan. The hair just doesn’t seem right…

    1. Raoullefere

      Mike in an Ethan wig?

  31. Historyman68

    I’m expecting this is Pintsize with Ethan’s face taped on.

    1. Raticate5

      it’s harder than it looks

      1. Yotomoe

        So is Joe.

        1. Roborat

          And there it is.

  32. MR C

    either there’s about to be a long awkward talk about coming out of the closet, or going in deeper using religion

    or it’s time for someone to take joyce to the bone zone

    1. Yotomoe

      If Ethan goes much deeper he’ll be come a gay within a gay. Gayception.

      1. MR C

        actually i believe that a gay within a gay is just called sex

        *badum tsss*

  33. Cholma

    “Are you there, God Joyce? It’s me, Ethan.”

  34. Matt

    Ethan’s going to pray the gay away. With his penis.

    1. Maycroft

      for a nickel.

      1. MR C

        with your mothers

        1. XMD

          FAAAAACCCEEE

        2. Mancuso

          Hahaaaaa, Mikes! Mikes everywhere!

  35. slicedtoad

    Why are her eyes glowing?

    1. L

      That freaked me out a little too, it’s she’s got natural nightvision. Oh wait, don’t we all? XD

    2. Jetstream

      She’s overdoing the Spice?

      1. Raoullefere

        Dude… Ethan Siegal… Closet Person

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        Spice makes your eyes go blue not green.

        1. HiEv

          I’d say Joyce’s eyes are more of a cyan color.

          (Though, if you want to get technical, the name for the color #77C2C3 is “Monte Carlo”, and it’s right on the fine edge between green and blue.)

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Someone discovered the Colour Name & Hue identifier I see. đŸ˜€

        3. HiEv

          I’m a computer programmer with a specialization in 2D computer graphics.

          So… yeah. I know all sorts of handy computer graphics stuff.

    3. darcos0

      glowing? pshhh, you atheists don’t know how much you can be filled with God’s love.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        God’s love is phosphorescent in nature? Who knew!

        1. L

          So a lightsaber is just God being really happy to see you?

        2. MR C

          don’t lightsabers make everybody happy (you know, until they cut through you

      2. begbert2

        Oh we’re aware of it, but usually the subsequent messy explosion happens quicker than this.

      3. Hotsauce

        You call your penis “god’s love”, don’t you? đŸ˜‰

    4. HiEv

      Good to see that I’m not the only one who thought that. đŸ˜›

    5. Pinja

      She used to be a member of SOLDIER

    6. Kamino Neko

      Oh, thank the GODDESS, I am not the only one who saw this.

  36. AliaPie

    That’s not creepy at all…

  37. Deemah

    I see everyone made the same jokes I already was going to make, I’m going to shortpacked I guess

  38. shoeboxjeddy

    Hoping it’s a True Blood style sex dream. Believing its just Ethan being an idiot (how the hey did he get in there?)

  39. EspanolBot

    Yup, breaking into the room of a girl who survived an attempted rape a few(?) days ago as she sleeps. This will surely go well.

  40. ReFlex76

    Let’s see:
    – Very against character for Ethan.
    – A little too much like Twilight (so I hear).
    – That look on Joyce’s face.

    Yeah, put me with Team It’s a Dream.

    Soon to be a wet dream, apparently.

  41. AsimovSideburns

    That jawline… Definitely Joe.

    Calling it now.

    1. Wack'd

      Joe and Ethan have the same square jaw…

      1. Karlaof

        Good old jewish genes.

        1. ADHadh

          *Jawish.

        2. Wack'd

          I’m Jewish. I wish I had a jawline that square.

        3. Historyman68

          It’s the Jew Bear!

  42. Dr.Z

    Creeeeeeeepy.

    And odd for even Ethan. Hm.

  43. Arturo

    This week in: “Dramatic Confessions!”

  44. Pinja

    Please dear God let this be a sex dream and not Ethan unwisely confessing.

    Also let Sarah allow him to get out of there with his knees intact if it isn’t.

    1. Rin

      Amen

  45. Tenn

    Like various other people, I think it’s significant that we can’t see Ethan’s FAAAAAAAACE.

    Maybe… because it’s been RIPPED OFF!

    Oh, yeah. Halloween – last week. Got it.

  46. Phillip Wilde

    Who’s willing to wager that that t-shirt is all he is wearing?

    1. Roborat

      If it is, Sarah is going to get an eyeful.

  47. Jack

    “I’m here to have gay pre-marital sex with you. It’s all your parents’ nightmares at once!”

    1. Skyboatpilot

      If her parents are anything like they are in the last universe, they wouldn’t mind that as much as you’d think.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      The only way I can think of that allows a man and woman to have gay sex together is good old-fashioned sodomy.

      1. Jack

        Since when did homophobia make sense?

  48. Ulstem

    Wow, Joyce’s eyes make her look like she has been using a bit too much spice in her food.

  49. theantiwesley

    Yay! I got a package filled with some microscopic love from Ohio today! I don’t know who will be in it, but I’m just thrilled!
    Now I have a little bit of Willis’ SOUL! (and it cost me more than a nickel, so it should be much better than doing your mom!)

    1. theantiwesley

      It’s Amazi-Girl! W00t! Still, not owner of my heart and liver, Billie, but still. đŸ˜‰ Thank you, Easter Bunny! Bawk bawk!

  50. 13thprotector

    Blue eyes that glow in the dark…. hnnn.

  51. jendra

    A little off topic, but I have never read your comics and Something Positive back to back until today and realized that there are two blond Mikes out there. Therefore, please Willis, for the love of nerds do a another crossover with Randy Milholland where the two Mikes meet.

    1. Spazman

      seriously? They’re both dicks, but Willis’ Mike will kick S*P Mike in the nards.

      to say hello.

      Things will degenerate from there, after, well, need I elaborate on S*P Mike’s mom?

  52. Volkai

    I have no idea where this is going.

    I love the fact that I have no idea where this is going. I have plenty of guesses but each one seems to be equally (un)likely.

    What’s the opposite of a DYW! moment?

  53. someguywithakatana

    “It’s me…Ethan…

    I’m Batman…”

    Anyone? Just me?

  54. RobHagen

    Interesting to see where this goes. Nice effect with Joyce’s eyes in the low light of the room. Very nice.

  55. Broggly

    Are you there Joyce? It’s me, Ethan.

  56. Falconata

    Her eyes glow at night….

    1. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

      She’s secretly part cat

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