243

Jag
Posted on April 24, 2014 by David M Willis

243 thoughts on “Jag”

  1. Bilfred

    pissed Danny is pissed.

    1. Jen Aside

      Reslamming Danny is reslamming

      1. someguywithakatana

        Slamming Danny is kind of disappointing and filled with self-loathing and tears.

      2. Ocbrad1

        Loved the “re-slam”!

    2. -Sentinel-

      I can’t remember the last time Danny used a swear word.

      1. John

        This is his second F-bomb.

        1. Connor

          Huh, interestingly enough, the mouse-over text on that one mentions having “all the information” too!

        2. Triniking

          2014. The year of Swearing Danny.

  2. Yotomoe

    More like a Jag-off, amiright?

    1. Red Comet

      Dorothy is secretly a Yinzer n’at.

    2. Fen_Star

      Those jag-offs took Jag off the air! -John Stewart

  3. Spectre

    The Danning levels are off the charts tonight.

    1. Yotomoe

      HE’S DANNING AT A COLLEGE LEVEL.

      1. Scott

        That loveable scamp!

  4. Opus the Poet

    Keep trying Dottie!

  5. Darbinator716

    Okay, not a PERFECT performance, but he didn’t Dan it up too badly.

    1. Yotomoe

      He could have been Dannier.

    2. Cthulhu's Intern

      He seems to have upgraded from Danning to Jagging.

    3. JetstreamGW

      He’s still pretty bad at this.

    4. Jimmy

      May I ask what “perfect” would have been?

      1. Ghola

        He forgot to knee her in the lady pouch and put on a fedora.

        1. taekwondogirl

          That’s neckbearding, not Danning.

  6. Khaner

    Hey, leave the Judge Advocate General’s Corps out of this!

    1. Charlie Spencer

      Yeah, I wondered about that reference. I’ve never heard the word used except in the context of military lawyers. What’s it mean in this case?

  7. BlackIo

    “Reslam” is my new favorite sound effect.

    1. Yotomoe

      Come Back and Reslam. Welcome back to the Jam.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Me and my brother used to play a game where we’d change every word in a movie title to a word different with a similar meaning.

        I totally stumped him with “Interplanetary Preserves”.

        1. Yotomoe

          The “Universal Goods”

        2. AJBulldis

          Cosmos Stuck.

        3. Andrusi

          Room Force.

        4. Tenn

          Three-Dimensional Expanse Multi-Instrumentalist Musical Improvisation.

        5. Yotomoe

          Fuck. That’d be a great band name.

        6. Michael Jordan

          Okay, I’ve been wracking my brain for hours, but I cannot guess this one. I asked Daffy and Bugs, but they didn’t get it either.

        7. stevecharb

          Aethereal Anthem

        8. Niklarean

          Astro Jelly Go!

    2. Cal

      Holy cow… I posted without reading all the comments and wrote almost the exact same thing.

    3. Tenn

      Reslam is my new religion. Praise be to the holy prophet who hammered on the door.

      1. DarkVeghetta

        So, you’re Lutheran?

  8. Doctor_Who

    “That’s right, I called you a television drama from the 90s! In fact, you’re a, a Melrose Place too!”

    1. newllend

      Dorothy stop watching late night TV land!

      1. Aint seen nothin yet

        Walky’s been making her watch dukes of hazard to get her to daisy duke it up

  9. tbf

    Dorothy is a sixty-year-old Hoosier?

    1. Maveric1984

      No, but I bet she knows a few.

  10. MM

    Sheesh, what did Harm and Mac ever do to Dorothy?

    1. That Damn Rat

      MAde her suffer through an episode of their insipid show?

      1. John

        I guess Dorothy probably wouldn’t appreciate the only reason I ever watched it, which is that Catherine Bell is zomghot.

        I’ve just learned that she became a Scientologist. I am sad now.

        1. DarkVeghetta

          WHAT?! No… no, no no no no… *sad no*. :'(

  11. C.

    This is like a Hallmark Channel version of a Frasier episode.

    1. Leorale

      but Frasier is already on the Hallmark channel. He’s listening.

      1. C.

        That’s the joke. Fraiser episodes are censored on the Hallmark Channel.

  12. MrSirk

    Ahhh the classic reslam for when nosy reporters don’t get the message.

  13. The Meek Ninja

    I kinda want to see the “RESLAM!” sound effect used more often.

  14. Jay Eff

    Hey, Dottie – try bringing back calling people “Mugs,” while you’re at it!

    (My brother already tried it once, but that was 30 years ago….)

    1. Yotomoe

      Rap-scallions is a good one.
      People also don’t learn Deralicts enough.
      I’m glad that Pleeb is making a comeback, though.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Derelict is at least known by people who have seen Zoolander, although I suspect it’s only within the context of a joke.

        And I’ve heard/seen plebe used for as long as I’ve known people to claim seniority, pull rank, or claim that PCs are better than consoles.

        1. Opus the Poet

          Ehh, I prefer “proles” for PC/console wars, it’s more obscure.

        2. JustCheetoDust

          I was worried that Patton Oswalt would ruin that when he once said he was going to “have some Victory Gin, and strangle a prole.” Ten years later I’ve met what, two other people who have read Orwell?

        3. No Name

          I take it your school didn’t make it mandatory reading. Still plenty obscure over here, though.

        4. JustCheetoDust

          I read “Animal Farm” on a flight when I was 16. I don’t think it was school related, though.

          The thing is, stuff like this never comes up unless someone is trying to make an obscure literary reference (or we witness such on TV or in a movie) so I don’t know how many people I’ve met have read Orwell. I do remember Vonnegut being required reading.

        5. Carlos

          My weirdo friends go around talking about the “pc master race”

        6. xKiv

          Which pc won?

        7. DarkVeghetta

          Because inferior console plebs.

        8. Historyman68

          Pleeb if you’re a Margaret Atwood fan. Though it’s less an insult than a descriptor.

    2. Aizat

      Is dingbat still a viable term?

      1. Keroshino

        I prefer “Meathead”

        1. Ahighfunctioningsociopath

          Nincompoop

        2. Aizat

          Wait, you mean Rolf’s farm hand?

      2. Ocbrad1

        Pinhead is my go to epithet when I need to refrain from the naughty language.

      3. DarkVeghetta

        Oh, Dingbat. You shall never be forgotten.

    3. John

      How about “jackanapes”? Spellcheck doesn’t even know that one.

    4. maxyai

      How about ne’er-do-well. Nobody says that anymore. It’s about time for a comeback.

      1. DarkVeghetta

        Fallout mentions it a few times, as do other games. It’s also more of a specific insult, rather then a common cuss word.

    5. Furubatsu

      Mug’s still pretty common in England

  15. Spliced

    When I was a kid, I’d watch TV shows and movies, and see something, and think I get it. And I’d be talking about it to someone, and they’d shake their head, and I didn’t get why.

    And Dorothy, you are trying to get the information, but you’re doing it wrong. :/

  16. Kernanator

    Reslam! nominated for Best Sound Effect of 2014

    1. clodia

      I second that nomination.

      1. Jay Eff

        I still prefer “Nutkick,” myself..

        1. Maveric1984

          I think Willis is taking cues from No Need for Bushido.

          I like it.

        2. Roborat

          Yea, that was my thought too. And thanks for reminding me about that c comic, I stopped reading that strip a while ago to let it build up an archive, I guess I should go back and catch up now.

        3. MIB4u

          I still prefer “Thumpasprung” … XD 😛

        4. kelticat

          My favorite was “Curbstomp”

    2. Aizat

      I still say SPOOM is the best sound effect.

      1. NightmareWarden

        I nominate “Reslam” for the official teleport/warp sound effect for the next year. Does anyone actually want “bamf” to win reelection again?

  17. Throng

    I want to see more slams!
    Reslam! Moreslam! slamorbeslammed!
    Again,dangerous slammage!

    1. Yotomoe

      THE SLAMMIN’ SALMON. WELCOME TO THE SLAMJAM. THE SLAMMORAMA.

      1. Throng

        Slam Aleichim! Aleichin Slam!

        1. Flimsyfishy

          Oh come on, who could forget about the Slam Jam?

        2. Rex Hondo

          Slamma-Lamma-Ding-Dong!

        3. Karishi

          It’s like some kind of poetry slam up in here!

  18. Ridureyu

    Can she interpret that as a physical threat? In my old college, it would take less than that to get you in serious trouble.

    1. Yotomoe

      What proof does she have that he even said that?

      1. Rani

        …look at the thing in her hands. The only thing left to ask is : is Dorothy enough of a dumbass to not have turned it on before she got to the door?

        NB: This is a wannabe Bob Woodward/Hilary Clinton hybrid who’s trying to speedrun her way into Yale and then the Presidency.

        1. Yotomoe

          YOU DURN KIDS AND YOUR CELLULAR PHONES. BACK IN MY DAY IF YOU WANTED TO CALL SOMEONE YOU’D HAVE WAIT 30 MINUTES FOR THE OPERATOR TO GET OFF HER SMOKE BREAK.

    2. MM

      Yesterday, Dorothy was trying to figure out if Danny had been there with Amazi-Girl. Note that she never seems to consider it a possibility he took part in whatever happened.

    3. shoeboxjeddy

      Fuck off is a physical threat? Or is it back off and give her some space? Your college must have been pretty ‘different’ somehow.

    4. Some guy

      How was that a physical threat?

  19. Cloverlock

    Man, it’s starting to feel like everybody’s clashing with everybody (excluding Walky and Dorothy, who are MASHING).

    I’ll see myself out

    1. Rani

      It’s like what my Dad said about Breaking Bad:

      “What a crazy show. Everybody is trying to poison everybody.”

  20. lu_86

    Here’s to Danny, the Ride to Hell: Retribution – 1% of webcomic characters.

    1. newllend

      To Danny! He finally grew a set!

      1. newllend

        No no wait, he’s The Eric forman of this comic( no he really lookes like Eric forman.)

  21. King G

    Annnnd there we go! Balls-Out-Boy has danned again!

    Also, we see Dorothy danning it up a little bit! Should be asking “I’d really like to prove that if it was her, it was totally justified because the dude was a total dickwad. Is he, in fact, a total dickwad? And while we’re at it, for a side column now, Danny–Are *you*, in fact, a total jag?”

    1. KKoro

      Dorothy shouldn’t be writing articles about Amazi-Girl until, as Danny said, she actually knows what happened.

      And as much as she claims she’s investigating to ease her conscience, even Danny should know her well enough to know that’s BS. She’s investigating because it will get her recognized, and even if Danny hasn’t realized it yet, Amber is getting hurt in the process.

      I don’t have enough faith in Danny’s grasp on things to trust that [i]he’s[/i] realized that, but keeping Dorothy’s nose out of this story is absolutely what’s best for Amber.

      1. Karishi

        Pretty sure Danny’s anger is from recognizing that Amber’s hurting and a worry that Dorothy’s continued investigation stands to hurt her more.

      2. Joe

        So how does Dorothy find out what happened if not by investigating leads and interviewing people?

        1. Charles RB

          Exactly: that’s how reporters work. As she says! That “take it from me” makes it sound like this is less about Dorothy and more about Danny still being guilty about his own cock-up

        2. DSL

          Look up “Streisand Effect” for an entertaining look at the way trying to suppress or block information is much more likely to result in that information, and distorted versions thereof, becoming more widespread.

        3. KKoro

          And if dorothy is willing to go off halfcocked like that, i have even less reason to belive her intentions arent entirely selfserving.

        4. timemonkey

          Of course it’s self serving. Right now she’s just doing her job because she doesn’t have enough information on the situation. She doesn’t know Amazi-Girl is just a broken, mentally and emotionally unstable girl with an abusive father she just had multiple violent encounters with.

        5. KKoro

          Like I mentioned below, Dorothy is being shitty to –Danny– here, too.

        6. Fred

          Dorothy should ask these questions, but not say “If I can prove she didn’t do it, I’d be happier.” That’s a law enforcement question, not a journalism question.

        7. KKoro

          By doing it as a friend trying to help, not someone looking for a selfglorifying scoop.

        8. timemonkey

          She’s not Amazi-Girl’s friend though. Because Amazi-Girl wouldn’t just talk to her. Dorothy wants her to be innocent because she thinks Amazi-Girl is awesome but if she’s crossing the line that’s a serious thing.

        9. KKoro

          Danny, like, exists as a person too.

  22. Wack'd

    “How dare you call me a Donald P. Bellisario series! You know I hate that guy!”

  23. Throng

    Seriously, though… she’s still recording. That’s on the corner of Clueless St and Uncool Avenue.

    1. DailyBrad

      “Wow, Dorothy, you have a recording of a guy telling you to fuck off. That’s… news, I guess?”

      1. Aizat

        “LOCAL COLLEGE GUY TELLS REPORTER TO FUCK OFF” Now that’s a headline….next to LOCAL NUTCASE TRIES TO FLY and OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD.

        1. Karishi

          To be fair, according to eyewitnesses that cloud totally had it coming.

        2. Eukie

          Daisy: “Your ex-boyfriend tells you to fuck off? That’s… Dorothy… I think you’re slipping. I may need to let Billie have the Amazigirl case back.

          …also, when you say ‘ex-boyfriend’, did you leave him because you found out you weren’t into boys? It’s relevant for… reasons.”

  24. newllend

    DAMN! He told her off.

  25. MidnaMajora

    I think “RESLAM” may be my favorite part of this comic, actually!

  26. Mr. Random

    He has a spine. I repeat, Danny has grown a spine.

    1. Packy

      And there was much rejoicing!

    2. begbert2

      He always had a spine. Problem is, he was using it to dump Amber.

  27. Mr K

    Now that Danny’s got some testicles, who will be his replacement?

    1. Hoboturtle

      “Hey guys! It is I, Howard!”

    2. newllend

      Let’s not get to hasty here, but if I were to guess I say joyce at least when she fucks up its funny.

      1. Drunken Nordmann

        And unlike Danny there isn’t such a realistic chance she might grow a pair.

    3. Ikaru

      …the glorious Faz?

  28. Rani

    This is increasingly reminding me of the last season of a lot of shows, where the core premise of a character starts rapidly imploding the world where that character gets her meaning.

    In this case, Amazi-Girl has or is in the process of turning much of the cast either into enemies, villains, or vigilante Dina

  29. Wonder Wig

    I think I quite like this Danny.

    1. Keroshino

      I agree…I am also enjoying “New Danny”…he is so much better than “Old Danny”

  30. Angelicfiend

    Man Danny, I like you but you are not that smart, are you?

  31. Ikaru

    I will have to use ‘you Jag’ now.

  32. EvergreenFir

    jag off!

  33. Ancestral Hamster

    Okay, Danny. Now stop talking to your ex. Your actions already imply that you have something to hide and you know something about Amazi-Girl. Just stop talking and ignore her from this point on.

    Especially if she asks for more favors like wanting your shoes for her new boyfriend.

    1. Karishi

      I know, right? You had the perfect out to not give any of this crap away – the sentence, “I do not want to talk to you.” – and instead…this.

      1. timemonkey

        He had the perfect out a few weeks ago by not telling someone actively hunting for information about Amazi-Girl that he was dating her.

  34. Galatine

    I’m going to side with Dorothy here, because I think Amazi-Girl should be taken off the streets. Campus. Whatever/.

    1. No Name

      Perhaps, but is that Dorothy’s real reason for doing this?
      If Dorothy really had Amazi-girls best interests at heart, she wouldn’t be pulling the reporter card at all, just the ‘this is for the greater good’ card.

      1. Throng

        (chorus) “… the greater good…”(/chorus)

      2. Galatine

        Dorothy is, as always, all about the Dorothy. She just happens to be right this time.

      3. taekwondogirl

        Honestly, wanting Amazi-Girl off the streets would be more about worrying for everyone else on campus’ safety rather than Amazi-Girl. They don’t know who she is, she has no accountability, and she’s assaulted someone pretty extremely. We as an audience know that her feelings on that were justified, the force wasn’t. People who don’t have the same info as us saw a guy beaten to a pulp for an unknown reason by someone who thinks it’s okay for her to be judge, jury and executioner.

  35. Charles Phipps

    I think Dotty is going to be more confused than anything else. Danny’s never reacted that way before. Of course, getting yelled and cursed at by your shy ex is probably pretty easy by outsiders to misinterpret that Danny isn’t a nice guy but a NICE GUY.

    And maybe get him hauled away.

    1. timemonkey

      It’s a clear sign he’s hiding something.

  36. Deathjavu

    Y’know, I just realized- Dorothy is being unusually dumb, or stubborn, or just underestimating Danny.

    Why on Earth would she think she could get information about Danny’s vigilante girlfriend from Danny? “Oh yeah sure, I’ll totally legally incriminate my girlfriend. She assaulted her dad, her name is Amber, she lives on our floor. Couple rooms down from you.”

    Unless she really was hoping for Danny to say the two of them were elsewhere? Or maybe it’s just the journalistic trick of doggedly following up on every lead, no matter how unlikely to give information?

    Either way…this shouldn’t be terribly surprising Dorothy, except maybe the ferocity. Nobody expects to get savaged by a poodle.

    1. timemonkey

      Maybe because Danny already offered her information on Amazi-Girl? Sure, she chose shoes instead but he was willing to talk. Also he’s a known source of information, it’s logical to try and get something out of him.

    2. John

      Danny’s telling her a fair bit by what he’s not telling her, and how. It may not be evidence she could use in a court of law, or even adequate to back up her article, but his reaction has pretty well confirmed that it was, in fact, him and Amazi-Girl that were seen leaving the scene of the crime. I mean, if Amazi-Girl were innocent, why wouldn’t Danny just say so? And she can use that to further her investigation along other lines until she does get something solid enough that she can print it.

      1. Charles RB

        That’s a point: why didn’t Danny just _lie_? All Dorothy’s got is that two people were involved and one had a cape. The witnesses haven’t even said it was Amazi-Girl.

        1. KKoro

          Have we seen him lie before?

        2. John

          Danny being Danny, I suspect he both won’t and can’t. Not with any degree of believability, anyway, and especially not to someone who knows him as well as Dorothy does.

  37. Idon'tcarenomore

    While Amazi-girl need help Galatine, I don’t want to see her taken off the streets by Dorothy and her rag.

    I want to see Ethan and maybe Dina and Sarah and Danny get together and sit her down and talk to her, while they drive her to the nearest clinic and check her in for psych. Eval.
    Danny can lie and say they’re married, or Dina can claim to be her sister or something.

    Get her to safety, as her idiot bastard father is still out there, and so is “to Hell with anyone’s personal well-being, I will do anything for a story-Dorothy”.

    Cheers Danny. You earned it. And congrats on the new spine, use it wisely.

    1. timemonkey

      Dorothy doesn’t know about anyone’s personal wellbeing. Last she saw of Amazi-Girl was a big grin after an awesome acrobatic stunt and a double bird. As far as she knows Amazi-Girl is doing awesome.

      You’re doing the same thing people accuse Danny -haters of doing, using your total knowledge of the situation, and the characters lack thereof to condemn them on irrational grounds.

      Also: Amazi-Girl became news when she decided to dress up in a costume and attack people on campus. She’s also a criminal for doing that and breaking into people’s dorms. She has recently completely lost control and ended up identified in a police involved incident which we know she’s guilty of (of course we also know why she did it).

      Amber needs help, I agree. But she’d forfeited her right to being left alone by her actions.She’s not stable, not safe to be around, and by trying to protect her Danny’s going to get dragged down with her. (except neither of them will end up facing the consequences that they should since that would remove them from the comic)

      1. No Name

        Just because noone’s dying doesn’t mean noone’s being removed. Willis may full well decide to Amber home and let her sort her issues out off screen.

        1. No Name

          *send* Amber home.

    2. Galatine

      Her father deserved exactly what he got, but that doesn’t mean it was the right thing for her to do. Amber’s a sick and dangerous person, and she needs help. The newspaper articles may be the only thing that get her help.

      1. Gold

        Or killed by someone she’s vanquished. You have a secret identity because you make enemies. Exposing her isn’t exactly going to help her.

        1. timemonkey

          She has a secret identity because she’s compartmentalising aspects of her psyche, not for any practical reasons. In order for Amber to become a stable, healthy person Amazi-Girl needs to die, metaphorically.

    3. taekwondogirl

      …Dorothy’s already proved she won’t do ANYTHING for a story. Remember how a few days/weeks back in comic time, she had the option of getting info from Danny about Amazi-Girl or borrowing his shoes, and she chose the latter to uphold her promise to Walky?

      Oh right, no you don’t remember that because that would interfere with your seething. Dorothy doesn’t have any of the same information that we do, that’s what creates the suspense. If you’re going to judge her actions, maybe take what she actually knows into consideration.

      1. KKoro

        One time she chose to fulfill a different selfbased goal, and still exploiting danny for it.

        Look, shes not bugging anyones dorm, but she still very much has a habit of focusing more on herslef than others, especially regarding her career, and shes being disingenuous in this strip when she shows up with a recorder, claiming shes just trying to get information and ease her conscience.

        Shes there for a story, and danny has rightly assessed that publicizing ambers plight will only make it worse. Dorothy may not understand how much worse, just like danny didnt understand what he was doing with blaine, but DANNYS actions, what the op was talking about, are correct. This is a matter that needs to be solved, but that shouldnt be done by gossipragging it.

        1. ninja_jesus

          In what way was she being disingenuous? Maybe she genuinely wants to help. She’s been sending the same message over and over to Amazi-Girl and Danny: that she wants to help, and she wants to paint them in a good light, and she wants to know all the facts before passing judgement. Perhaps, with all the info, the headline she prints out will read, “Local Vigilante Stops Abuser From Kidnapping Student” and not “Local Vigilante Beats Up Man Half To Death”. As soon as its known that her actions were in self-defense, and that she did not merely beat up Blaine for no reason, pretty much everyone will be on Amazi-Girl’s side.

          This is a story that needs to be told in order to clear Amber/Amazi-Girl of guilt; hiding it is only going to make her look even worse.

        2. KKoro

          Then come to him as a friend first. Find out what the situation is BEFORE you stick a microphone in his face.

          This shouldn’t be that hard.

          That “local vigilante beats up man half to death” is an option, even when Danny is telling her she really needs to wait until she has the facts before making claims, doesn’t make her look better.

          Seriously, this isn’t even a case of “how could she possibly know Amber’s situation” — she knows Danny, and has (accurately) guessed at his situation. And yet she comes not as a friend checking after him, but a reporter looking for a scoop.

          Danny must have, I dunno, told an admissions board about how she’s totally getting high all the time for her to repeatedly treat him with this much lack of compassion.

        3. KKoro

          “and she wants to know all the facts before passing judgement”

          Oh, and that at least Danny knows that Dorothy definitely didn’t hold to this principle by printing the article, and he probably suspects it as part of the reason Amber is so distraught right now. He may be wrong, but…Dorothy done didn’t wait.

          This is not a hypothetical for him — from what he’s seen, Dorothy’s –already– done damage.

        4. ninja_jesus

          Did Dorothy write the article about Amazi-Girl’s incident? I don’t remember that.

  38. Pyr05

    secret revelation information is secret.

  39. Cal

    RESLAM is my new favourite sound effect.

    1. MIB4u

      … But … but what about “Thumpasprung” …? DX )’:

      1. Throng

        They did that “i get knocked down, but I get up again” song, right?

        1. xKiv

          That’s not “I’ve got no thumbs, but I get back again, you’re never gonna drink me down”???

  40. Jason

    Danny still looks like an angry chipmunk.

    1. Keroshino

      Hey! Don’t mess with angry chipmunks…the’re nuts!!!

  41. SilverArrowArtemis

    Dorothy, you dropped a few points on the characters-I-like scale. You are dangerously close to falling below Joyce.

  42. Jim

    So her secret identity/punching people hobby is now actively dragging down everyone around her like a black hole of assholishness, to the point where ever her wimpy but generally moral friend is making himself an accessory to assault for her.

    So… basically, Amber is the realism-increased version of Shortpacked Mike in this continuity?

  43. ninja_jesus

    Dorothy can be a huge ally here. Kinda disagree with denying her an interview, but I understand the intentions.

    1. Marisa Mockery

      Dorothy could’ve been an ally from the beginning. Nobody seemed to recognize it though…

      1. ninja_jesus

        I bet this is gonna bite them in the ass later on. I can sense it.

      2. John

        She explicitly told Amazi-Girl that. Amazi-Girl blew her off.

    2. Charles RB

      Yeah, Danny’s standing up for Amber by acting _so suspiciously_ that anyone would go “shit, Amazi-Girl MUST have badly hurt somebody and Danny’s in on it!” and Dorothy will feel obligated to investigate even more. Nice one, Danny!

    3. Pinja

      I like Dotty but in this I wouldn’t trust her.

      1. ninja_jesus

        Why not? What would you stand to lose? She’s been wanting to do right by Amazi-Girl this whole time. If she wanted to discredit Amazi-Girl, she’d be pulling a J. Jonah Jameson and writing about how she’s a menace right now, with no facts and all fluff. But that’s not her because she has integrity and wants to know the truth. Not to mention that she genuinely does care about Danny when he’s not being an assbutt, and knowing that he was, say, being kidnapped by an adult who intended to do harm to another student, would really put Amazi-Girl’s actions into perspective. She’d realize, “Hey, Amazi-Girl was protecting her boyfriend, my ex from high school, from an asshole abuser. This is relevant information that would help put this situation into context.”

  44. ninja_jesus

    Also, glad that Danny has finally pussied up. It’s about time.

  45. Mass Confusion

    Danny’s trying to protect Amber, even though it will most likely get himself in a lot of trouble in the future. Sweet, but dumb

  46. Sir Robin

    He doesn’t even know it, but Dorothy used the Amazi-Condoms that were obviously meant for him

  47. Kathleen

    Yeah, he definitely Danned it up by getting so angry. She knows she hit a nerve, and will be following up on this. Might start tailing him.

    1. The Steve

      And because Danny can’t get Dorothy to stop doing the wrong thing, it’s his fault? She has a history of misusing Danny so I’m just glad he’s stopped being her lapdog. Yes, he shouldn’t have chosen this school because that’s where his girlfriend chose but who’s the one who waited to dump him until it was too late for him to make a better choice? There’s a reason Dorothy is one of my three least favorite characters in this cast…

      1. Charles RB

        She’s doing the right thing though. She’s a reporter told “go investigate this weird person running around beating up petty criminals”, found out said weird person may have badly hurt somebody for reasons unknown, and is asking a witness who keeps claiming he dates the violent person. And she wants to prove Amazi-Girl hasn’t randomly assaulted some guy (which is actually the wrong thing, that she admitted that to someone who is clearly aware of what happened & wants to cover it up – he could’ve told her any bullshit)

      2. taekwondogirl

        What exactly is the wrong thing here? As Charles stated, everything she’s doing is fine. What she’s doing is only problematic because of Amber’s past and how much it could hurt Amber. Dorothy has absolutely no way of knowing that. If she did, maybe she would be acting differently. However, she does NOT know it, so judging her for what she doesn’t know is stupid.

        Also, it’s implied that she told Danny several times when they were in high school and over summer break that he shouldn’t just go to the same college as her but he ignored her. Should she have broken up with him sooner? Yes. But why is Dorothy not allowed to make any mistakes at all?

        1. KKoro

          Shes allowed to make mistakes, but that doesnt change the fact that they were mistakes.

          Just like danny should feel regret for the things hes done, but not treated like a monster for the things he did unknowingly.

        2. taekwondogirl

          ..But you’re treating Dotty like a monster for her mistakes. Hypocritcal much?

          For reference, I am one of the ones who says the Danny hate isn’t fair.

    2. Blue Dragon

      If she follows him, she follows him. The trail will lead right to Sal, and Billie will be there to warn the competition off of her ‘scoop’.

      As for Dorothy, she might not realize it, but she isn’t chasing Amazi-Girl for her resume any longer. I can’t help but notice that whenever she chases AG or contemplates this hunt, she loses the willpower to say no to having sex with Walky. I admit I’m extrapolating from very few data points, though.

  48. Jimmy

    I’m amazed people hate Danny. Just because he isn’t perfect? And even when he does a good job people say he didn’t “Danny” it up. Really sad.

    1. Mangulwort

      I know. I am sick and tired of it. Its not funny and when ever I see Danny I know people will say how much he sucks no matter what. If he saved someones life people will say how he Danned THAT up. Its so dumb and makes me wish the comment section did not exist.

      1. scabbert

        Yup. Him being a butt monkey was funny for a while, but it’s really tired, at this point. A lot of the hate is just shoehorned in there, no matter what he does or does not do. It’s more just going through the fandom motions, than anything, I suspect.

  49. Morgauxo

    I finally dislike Danny. Until now i thought he was well meaning if a bit slow and very uninformed. But come on, what an idiot! He should have told her he was wrong, his g/f is not Amazigirl. He just suspected she was. Now, since Amber is out with him Dorothy will see them together at some point and know who she is.

    1. Charles RB

      And as soon as she goes “oh it’s Amber then”, it’s a piece of piss to find out about her dad and that very, very public incident in the dorms, and then it’s pretty easy to work out who Amazi-Girl was beating on.

      1. What was the question again?

        Yeah but conversely she’ll work out it’s her from the fact that it’s her father – if danny’d had the intelligence to at least rob amber’s dad after the assault (like Mike would have done in the same situation) then he’d have done a lot more to help protect her identity than hilariously trying to physically intimidate his ex-girlfriend with his skinny bean-pole body and liefeldian gritted teeth.

        We also have the even more worrying possibility that Danny is currently the one fundamentally responsible for Amber’s mental health – one wrong danny and amber will end up totally danny’d to hell and back.

  50. Scott

    Way to go Danny. Seriously. As another poster said, Dorothy wants a story to make her name and get exposure. She doesnt give a damn about what the consequences of her story might be to anyone but her.
    Danny may not be the brightest bulb on the marquee, but at least he realizes that he essed up and made things worse due to his ignorance. He is trying to protect Amber, and that’s pretty righteous in my book.

    1. Charles RB

      Dorothy was his friend. That was the best way he could think of to protect Amber from his _friend_, someone he personally knows and presumably would know she would give a damn about consequences if she had some idea of what happened? (If Amazi-Girl is just “that girl who runs around punching petty criminals”, there’s no reason for her to care about consequences) Does he think that little of her or, based on his dialogue, is this all about his guilt about talking to Amber’s dad?

      1. scabbert

        Dorothy’s given Danny a pretty strong impression that she’s single-minded about her ambitions, and will sacrifice just about anything to realize them. So it’s not unreasonable for him to expect that she’d sell Amber down the river at the drop of a hat just to get another line on her resume. So Danny can choose to give her that ammunition and hope she’ll simply sit on it, counter to what he knows about her, or simply shut her down now. Choosing the latter makes a lot of sense.

      2. Gold

        Dorothy has given no clue to Danny that she has concerns for anyone other than herself. With the limited knowledge Danny has, I wouldn’t trust her as far as I could spit.

        1. David M Willis

          Danny probably knows Dorothy better than anyone else in the main cast. His knowledge of her is not limited. They’d dated for like two years. He knows Dorothy fairly well. So if you think all he knows about Dorothy from dating her through half of high school is that she’s a selfish monster who cannot possibly be trusted ever, then, uh, man, Danny sure can pick ’em, huh?

        2. Deathjavu

          I see the point you’re making and really don’t agree with this idea that Dorothy is a monster, but the fact that Danny didn’t seem to realize Dorothy wanted to end their relationship, then followed up that relationship by going after the least stable woman in the Dumbingverse twice over, like some kind of bad-decision homing missile, and somewhere in the middle of that hitting on Sal, who’s not exactly well-adjusted, undermines it somewhat.

          In fact, I think the only good decision Danny’s made about females (arguably) was staying away from Billie, another trainwreck in progress.

        3. Ess

          Given that he’s now with a disassociative, self-entitled ruffian who drags him into dangerous situations (unintentional as it may be) and hopes for his continued affection in spite of the fact that he has been, and again could be in harm’s way,

          clearly.

        4. Ess

          That said, I’m on board with Dorothy on this. It would be interesting to see what she can do, and she has so many leads, now. Who does Danny spend time with, who is in his major, to boot? Who ran track and field? It wouldn’t be too hard for Dorothy to find out about her father issues, either. Even if what Dorothy will dole out to Amber through this does compromise her anonymity, it will ultimately lead to her being apprehended and treated. In all likelihood, the actuality of the story could easily be uncovered (Amber’s mother and Ethan could back Amber up in claims against Blaine) and she’d sooner be put in treatment than something potentially very harsh.

        5. scabbert

          Wait, what? I get that you’re W.O.G., and all, but that’s a bizarre line of argument. First of all, yes, Danny sure can pick ’em. Secondly, wasn’t the entire premise of their characters at the outset of this story that Danny was delusional about Dorothy and the nature of their relationship? I mean, we don’t have anything to go on prior to that, and I do take it as face value that this is a seperate continuity. Seems like he didn’t really know her all that well, after all.

          And once he gets the idea that she dropped the relationship to prioritize her aspirations, his main interactions with Dorothy are when she comes calling to a) ask to borrow shoes for the new guy she’s sharing a bed with, and b) pumping him for info to advance her career in a situation that turns out to possibly threaten his new love interest.

          So yeah, even if it’s not an accurate or fair assessment of Dorothy’s actual motives, I’d say I can see Danny having a justifiably wary, if not downright hostile attitude towards her at this point. I certainly couldn’t understand him giving up damning information up about someone he cares a great deal about but whom she hardly knows and could care less about.

  51. steve

    Jag? is she from pittsburgh?

  52. MO

    It’s only natural that Danny would Danny this up after Dorothy had to go all Dorothy on it. In fact, if these two Bradleys aren’t careful, they’ll make a complete Trisha out of this entire Esteban!

  53. Dude

    And Dorothy’s right again by the end. Danny’s a Jag.

  54. ShadowWing Tronix

    Considering Dorothy’s goal is to basically spill all of Amazi-Girl’s secrets to everyone, which will probably do who know what bad to Amber, I’m actually with Danny on this one. Poor choice of phrase aside.

    1. ninja_jesus

      When was this her goal? When did she ever say she wanted to unmask Amazi-Girl? She’s not fucking J. Jonah Jameson. She’s Danny’s ex and friend who cares about him.

      1. 3oranges

        She’s not fucking J. Jonah Jameson in the official versions, but sometimes I worry about fan art.

        1. John

          Next time on Slipshine!

  55. DruffySpinkilingus

    I actually look lie Danny…except I have a beard….

  56. Daibhid C

    I’m rather bewildered by some of the comments here.

    My own feeling: David Willis isn’t Scott Lobdell.

    With this in mind I find it hard to believe he’s writing Dorothy as Lobdell’s Lois Lane, a character clearly written by someone who has … issues. But that’s apparently the character everyone else is seeing here; someone who literally doesn’t care about anything but the story and will happily destroy everyone’s lives to get it. And since I have Dina-level skills in understanding people, I can’t shake the feeling that if everyone else sees this, maybe I’m wrong.

    1. KKoro

      She showed up to ak him about this as a reporter with a microphone.

      A close “friend”, one she dated for years, and when she thinks he might be having a crisis she shows up not to comfort but to interrogate.

      Above and beyond what her quest has already been doing to amber, i find her actions in this strip despicable for just that.

      1. Deathjavu

        I thought about it some more, and I’ve come to the conclusion that a) this is the worst thing Dorothy’s done thus far and b) it’s still not as horrible as you claim.

        She doesn’t really know what happened, and she’s not trying to lie to Danny about why she’s there. Plus, it’s debatable whether someone should show up to comfort their ex, since that’s…not really the same thing as a friend? I have no idea how to treat that situation. Can she really offer comfort in good faith knowing she’s working on the story in question?

        But she does know, or at least suspect, based on the line of questioning, that Danny might’ve been party to a felony assault. I don’t really think you want to go investigating something like that as a reporter when a friend of yours might be involved, just because of how serious it is. And then there’s questions of journalistic integrity when someone you know is involved…

        At the same time, I think the seriousness of what happened would make me, personally, feel compelled to get involved in some capacity. I’d probably very deliberately cut myself off from the story, but I also don’t have Dorothy’s ambition. Or really any ambition at all.

        Turns out real life doesn’t have obvious solutions, and neither does a good story.

      2. AgentKeen

        Because offering to try and get Amzi-Girl’s side of the story so that the police don’t try to take in her for an unsolicited act of violence (which is what everyone but Amber and Danny would think happened) isn’t trying to help?

        Yes, Dorothy is goal-oriented, but if it was just about getting the story for recognition, she could’ve just followed up on her observations of who Amazi-Girl is and outed her. Honestly, at this point, Dorothy should be able to pretty easily figure that out, but instead she’s trying to find out what actually happened and do what she can to help. About the only helpful thing she can do (since she is still only a student) is figure out the truth.

        And we don’t even know if she would still publish the story if she knew what really happened. She doesn’t have all the information, and Danny isn’t sharing, so she can only make decisions based on what she does know. I’m not saying she’s even making the best decision, but she isn’t being a horrible person here.

        1. ninja_jesus

          You’d think that with Danny’s experience with the frustration of not knowing all the information, he would be more privvy to talk this out with both Dorothy and Amber and compromise on what information is and isn’t okay to give out. What if Amber wants to speak up for herself now? Shouldn’t that be her decision and not Danny’s?

          I hope that’s what we’ll be seeing in the future, where Danny explains to Amber the situation with Dorothy, and Amazi-Girl decides to own up to this and make it clear that she was acting out of self-defense for Danny. She doesn’t need to say that Blaine was her father, nor does she need to reveal her identity. What really needs to be said is that Blaine was known to the school as a violent person before this incident took place. He verbally abused and physically intimidated one student, his first victim, then physically assaulted an RA, and had to be escorted off of campus. Establishing these facts will immediately put Blaine’s further actions into a harsher perspective.

          Blaine then cajoled Danny into following him off of campus in order to use him as leverage and lure the aforementioned first victim out from the safety of campus. Amazi-Girl “overheard what was happening” and stepped in to save Danny. As she confronted Blaine, he threatened Danny’s life, and she fought in his defense.

          Due to the rain and darkness, Amazi-Girl didn’t know what kind of damage she was causing; all she knew was that Blaine was an immediate threat which made physical force necessary. Afterwards, Amazi-Girl was led away from the scene by Danny to check on the status of Blaine’s first victim.

          There. The perfect statement.

        2. ninja_jesus

          Whoops, reverse that last part. Danny was led away from the scene by Amazi-Girl.

        3. Deathjavu

          This requires Amber not to slam the door in people’s face, or at least, not have Dina perform the approximate equivalent.

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/theraptor/

          I think Danny has no idea what to do, frankly, especially since he can’t talk to Amber about it. So he’s opted not to say anything, which kind of IS leaving the choice of what to say up to Amber.

      3. ninja_jesus

        Also, “interrogate” is a very harsh word to use for this situation, because that isn’t what she wants to do at all. It sounds like you’re trying to paint her as the bad person instead of letting her actions/words speak for themselves.

        1. KKoro

          I’m basing it on her actions/words.

          The first thing she said was that she’s there as a journalist. She’s repeated it several times. She makes a claim about being really happy if she could prove AmaziGirl isn’t a villain, but she is explicitly, in her own words, there to get a scoop instead of to check if he’s okay.

          I have a hard time believing she’s there as a friend. I’m pretty okay and supportive of most of what Dorothy does, but she definitely has a (perhaps at some points justified, given his millstonish qualities) method of treating Danny as a tool, rather than as a friend.

          I’m not slamming Dorothy for not knowing Amber’s situation. I’m saying (1) that Danny is correct, as he DOES know Amber’s situation, and that (2) regardless of Dorothy’s ignorance, what she’s doing here is incredibly shitty. Based on her own words.

        2. KKoro

          Basically, if she had said all the same things, excluding the “here as a journalist” and “I want to prove” and “I’m holding a microphone” bits, she’d be totally in the right to call him a jag. But that’s not what she did — she’s calling him a jag because he doesn’t think it’s a good idea to spill the secrets of someone he knows is in pain.

          People in pain, even if they’re totally justified and in the right and haven’t done anything wrong, aren’t generally super welcoming to being asked to help prop up some journalist’s cred, and Dorothy should really know that if she plans to be one.

        3. ninja_jesus

          1. She doesn’t know that Amazi-Girl/Amber is in pain. This is the same bullshit that people shat on Danny for before he knew Amazi-Girl’s real identity. If no one tells her, what’s she to assume? That Amazi-Girl attacked someone for no reason? Or, did she actually save someone from being kidnapped as leverage over another person? A testimonial in Amazi-Girl’s defense can go a long way for keeping her safe and out of police custody.

          2. This isn’t just for Dorothy’s “cred”. Once again, you’re trying to paint her as a bad person by describing her as cold and uncaring about other peoples’ feelings, which we know is entirely untrue. She does care about Amazi-Girl and her integrity, and she does care about Danny. I think she’s putting her job first here because the article she writes has the potential to either clear Amazi-Girl of all guilt, or condemn Amazi-Girl for assaulting another person without probable cause, and she wants to get it correct.

          Don’t you remember how Dorothy had a similar issue with Roz? She, at first, was going to just write how dumb the whole situation was and play off the issue as not a big deal. She later learned that it in fact was a big deal because Roz was making a political statement against her sister about the freedom of sexuality. Without knowing all the information, that article could’ve just as easily condemned Roz for causing unnecessary trouble for the school.

          This time, the stakes are higher because Dorothy’s article about Amazi-Girl can potentially keep Amber from being arrested, and instead, have Blaine arrested for abducting a student and threatening him with violence. That is what I can see coming out of this, and it’s of my opinion that Danny at least discuss Dorothy’s interview with Amber to see what is and isn’t alright to say.

        4. ninja_jesus

          How could she check up on him to see if he’s okay if she’s had no reason, up to this point, to think there’s something wrong? Obviously now she sees there’s something wrong with Danny and will probably follow up on that.

          Dorothy isn’t just there to “get a scoop”. She’s there to find out the truth. I mentioned this a few times in other posts already, but she isn’t J. Jonah Jameson, trying to pin any and all blame on Amazi-Girl. She does have integrity and she’s demonstrated this previously with Roz’s story. She also isn’t trying to take advantage of Danny. I’m sure that if she knew anyone else with ties to Amazi-Girl, that’s where she’d be instead, but she doesn’t; Danny has the most direct tie with Amazi-Girl and is her only lead for this story.

          And yes, Danny is correct, but the way he went about it was entirely wrong. As stated by others, his actions outright admitted that he was there with Amazi-Girl, and only enforces that Danny and Amazi-Girl are hiding something.

        5. Deathjavu

          She knows something might be wrong if she suspects (correctly) that Danny was there during the assault.

          That’s a serious enough problem that the possibility of it should be giving her pause. I mean…I’m pretty sure they give out prison sentences for stuff like that.

          Now I know that’s probably not really an option for DOA because it would be essentially the same as killing a character- too dramatic and it would drag on forever. But, in-universe, that’s really something that should be on certain people’s minds.

    2. Deathjavu

      No, I think people are just jumping the gun because there’s a full day in between updates, and people are impatient to draw conclusions.

      Plus, people are slamming Dorothy based on what they know, not what she knows. Not unlike how the comments section tends to treat Danny, in fact.

      So yeah. I may only have Amber levels of social skills (pretending I’m not insane for a few months at a pop), but it’s not just you who’s confused.

    3. fit-to-freak

      It’s because Dorothy is a woman who has a goal for the future and is not willing to sacrifice it. Apparently that makes her selfish. Not that Dorothy’s perfect or anything. But she’s not selfish just for pursuing her future.

  57. Cattus

    His approach should have been:”I have no idea what you are talking about”. But he’s Danny and an idiot. This approach will only make Dorothy try even harder.

    1. xKiv

      He might not want to lie even that much. So, “I don’t want to talk about this”.

  58. Michael

    I like the RESLAM!

  59. Lilith

    Now I want Amber becoming friends with Dorothy.

  60. Joshua Rotella

    Has anyone pointed out yet that IUPUI’s mascot is the Jaguar, and students are called Jags? Even have JagTags.

    1. ninja_jesus

      The IUPUI’s mascot should really be the Palindrome. It would look like a racecar. 😀

  61. OnnaStik

    Wow. All this Dorothy bashing is making me sad.

  62. Galatine

    Nope, Dorothy is still the hero of this piece. Best thing that can be said for Danny is he’s not the villain.

  63. The_Master

    What’s a Jag? Is that a slight at IUPUI?

    1. Lis

      I believe it is short for Jagoff. as in Jack off

  64. John

    Dorothy knows something happened. She doesn’t know exactly what. She has a responsibility to find out. So she’s asking someone who she has reason to suspect might know something, who knows her very well – intimately, in fact – and who has volunteered information on the subject before, what happened, while letting him know that she wants to be on their side. Oh my god what a monster.

    Danny’s in kind of an awkward spot, because telling the truth would incriminate Amber, he’s probably incapable of believably lying to Dorothy, and angrily refusing to talk says almost as much as telling the truth would – and all the wrong parts of it, at that.

    But Dorothy carries no blame for the fact that the truth is personally inconvenient to Danny and Amber. That’s down to Danny and Amber’s decisions. Neither is Dorothy to blame for Danny making most of those decisions with his eyes squeezed tightly closed.

    I suspect the best thing for everybody in the long run would be for Danny to tell Dorothy the truth. The whole truth, everything that happened and why, as best he understands it. Dorothy is certainly not the kind of person who would want to nail Amber to the wall for fighting back against her abusive father, and Danny should damn well know that. If he tells her, he can get her on their side – which she’s told both him and Amazi-Girl she wants to be – and it’s real handy if you’ve got things to cover up if the reporter assigned to you is willing to help you do that. And if he doesn’t tell her, he risks her finding out the bare facts of what happened without discovering why, and without the whys, the whats are pretty damning.

    But Danny definitely shouldn’t tell Dorothy without Amber’s permission. So he’s kind of screwed here. But that’s not Dorothy’s fault.

    And yelling and swearing at Dorothy is probably the worst choice. It’s got all the drawbacks of just telling her the truth without the advantages, and isn’t exactly going to encourage her to want to help out.

    1. John

      If Danny could have calmly told Dorothy, “I can’t talk about Amazi-Girl’s superhero stuff. It’s secret. I shouldn’t have even told you I was dating her,” that wouldn’t have been ideal, but it would have been a whole lot better than going off on her.

  65. Narf

    Danny shows some grit at last

    Excellent job, Danny

  66. DarkoNeko

    Welcome to the slam~

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