100

Jesus crap
Posted on December 13, 2012 by David M Willis

100 thoughts on “Jesus crap”

  1. Yotomoe

    She’s actually referring to Jesus that’s in Math Class. He’s grown quite impatient.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      “Blessed are the weak… Cursed are the tardy.”

      1. Aizat

        “And I will strike down with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to be tardy for class.”

        1. MIB4u

          Why did I hear this with Samuel L. Jackson’s voice …? XD

        2. Drunken Nordmann

          Who’s the cat who won’t cop out
          When there’s danger all about?

        3. Yotomoe

          Samuel Jackson needs to play Jesus in a movie. I’d watch that every day.

        4. Wonder Wig

          I’m tired of these mutherlovin’ snakes! In this mutherlovin’ Eden!

        5. Zababcd

          But mothers would not exist yet. Then again, neither would Samuel L Jackson.

        6. Tan

          Counterproposal: Samuel L Jackson as God the Father; Will Smith as Jesus. Morgan Freeman as the voice of the Holy Spirit, of course.

        7. ProjectXa3

          SO MUCH YES!

        8. Jim

          And Halle Berry as the first nude bimbo we gotta see in that movie! And all the trees are pine trees so there are no leaf cover-ups for Halle!

        9. Somebody

          Saying “bimbo” is just rude.

    2. Andrusi

      Ah, yes, Jesus Crap. He was valedictorian, you know.

  2. AngryBamboo

    I’ll bet Jesus crap smells heavenly

    1. LuckyStar7

      It’s gold and smells like frankenscence.

  3. David Herbert

    Wow, openly drinking out in the hall. She’s got balls. Probably stored somewhere from the guy she ripped them off.

    1. Leorale

      I think that’s coca cola.

      1. AngryBamboo

        silly Leorale! Canadians cant ingest Coca-cola…for some…reason…gimme a break its finals week and im tired

        1. Yotomoe

          Canadian’s can’t ingest Coke cuz it’s not Dry enough.
          Get it!?

        2. Bekah

          I do.

          I get the joke.

        3. Alyssa

          I approve of your avatar.

        4. Kryss LaBryn

          Because it attracts polar bears and dammit, that’s a real problem in Churchill, Manitoba!!

      2. Yotomoe

        Doing Coke is MUCH worse than simply drinking.

        1. Jim

          You got that WAY backwards.

      3. Questionor

        Definitely a soda bottle. It’s a plastic bottle not a glass one.
        3 bumps on the bottom and that kind of neck are not glass beer bottles.

        Of course no reason that some whiskey couldn’t have been added to the cola.

      4. Kitsuki Noriyuki

        see i thought it was a bottle of code red

    2. trevalyan

      Well, when you are the law, you’re above the law, this is true.

      Ruth, there is a point where you become an irredeemable asshole. You’ve seen the late girl in the halls before. You’ve probably BEEN that late girl. Try to not to make her even later just because you’re bored, hey?

      And Billie, shouldn’t you have letters on that shirt, or am I way too far gone to notice you had them there? I know you stole it back from Ruth using Splinter Cell tactics, but still- I don’t think you have the D R A G O N S locked in your drawer, ready for you to take them out and stroke them and croon “my preeeeeeecious…”

      Ok, that went to a weird place.

      1. Ziaheart

        Pretty sure that’s not the same shirt. She stole her cheer-leading outfit, not a shirt.

  4. Aizat

    All I could say is”Holy Shit”

  5. Sensedog

    Goodness, that must be an uncomfortable position for Billie…

    1. Aizat

      Especially with her huge……tracts of land.

      1. Jim

        I’ve seen that position in just about every movie of the “alt” variety. Now I just have to find a luscious female with “huge tracts of land” (though really, any size will do, as long as it’s fully paid for!) to twist into such a configuration. The last attempt resulted in the reply “Do I look like a contortionist??”

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    I bet Jesus Crap got picked on when he went to school, his face must be red from having to turn the other cheek so much.

    1. Aizat

      I hope he has a lot of room back there.

    2. Valdrax

      There’s a subtle but terrible difference between being the Messiah and just being Messier.

      1. Kernanator

        He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!

      2. Roborat

        Yea, and Mark Messier doesn’t take crap from anyone.

    3. Andiemus

      Maybe it’s red because Mary and Jo gave him too much *water* if you know what I mean…

  7. Leorale

    This strip reminds me of that one wherein Sal and Walky are hanging out on the couch, and Sal pokes him the face, because Eh. Anyone know where that one is?

    1. Yotomoe

      Somewhere deep in the Joyce & Walky archive. And by deep in the I mean “I’m too lazy to search through the”

      1. Mogotoo

        April 14, 2007.

        1. Leorale

          There it is. Thanks!

  8. Bekah

    Billie in the last panel… that actually looks really comfortable. I might try sleeping like that tonight.

    1. Yotomoe

      This was the last post Bekah made with a functioning spine

      1. Aizat

        I did that once. Hell of a neck pain.

      2. Bekah

        Who needs spines? Spines are for the weak.

        1. Aizat

          So, spineless is a sign of strength?

        2. Bekah

          Chickens have spines. Think about it.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          And hentai tentacle monsters don’t. Think About That!

        4. Aizat

          And this conversation just went from spines to tentacle hentai in a span of 19 minutes. Think about that!

        5. Andy

          …I’ll be in my bunk.

        6. Andiemus

          Thanks for ruining a nice conversation, Plaz.

        7. Wonder Wig

          I miss when Plaz’s gravitar would lead to the drama button. this conversation coulda’ used one right then.

        8. Plasma Mongoose

          You’re welcome.

        9. Plasma Mongoose

          I have inserted the Drama Button to my link.

        10. Wonder Wig

          Ahhhh I pressed it a bunch and now I need a nap. Best present ever.

        11. TheBenenator

          Donk! -9999 to Bekah’s argument. 😀

        12. Kernanator

          I am an expert at removing spines.

        13. Dibullba

          Who need spines when you have femurs?

    2. Aizat

      Don’t. You’ll wake up with a hell of a neck pain.

  9. Sri

    Aw, I was hoping for a Joyce trifecta. She was in today’s Roomies and Shortpacked. 🙂

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    For Ruth, this counts as foreplay.

    1. Aizat

      She likes it rough, I gather?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Are you really surprised by that fact?

        1. Aizat

          Not really. I thought she likes it rough when she’s buzzed or something.

        2. Wonder Wig

          They may fight, but the sex is great.

        3. Andiemus

          “But”? Try “therefore”

  11. Kernanator

    If this is Ruth’s idea of entertainment, I can’t understand why she doesn’t have more friends.

    1. Yotomoe

      for real. She’s a slapstick dynamo.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      But Ruth is a tsundere and everyone knows how popular tsunderes are.

      1. mrelegos

        And then, Ruth was recruited by NERV to pilot an Evangelion

        1. JBO

          Well her dad is dead and parental issues are basically required so…. confirmed?

        2. Michelle J Caboose

          Besides, she already has the red hair…

  12. JA

    Looks like something my RA from freshman year woulda done.

    He didn’t give a crap what we did, so long as we didn’t cause property destruction or steal or crap like that. He even joined us for drinking in a random dorm room every now and then. Best RA ever.

  13. andrew

    If she is already late why is she running? Is it because she wants to be late and tired?

  14. Uniqueantique

    She’s running because it’s really hard to trip a walking person?

    1. Michelle J Caboose

      Hmmm… No. In fact, I can even be tripped while standing completely still. I’m pretty sure I’ve even been tripped while sitting down.

      But then, I am something of a klutz… >_<

  15. Onomatopoeia

    Trip.

    1. Aizat

      Crash.

  16. Andy

    She must actually have a chance of making it on-time-ish. I never bothered if I was gonna be more than 10 minutes late

  17. coobee

    Now kiss.

    1. Kernanator

      Now make out. Make out, dammit.

  18. creatorx2

    Ruth looks kinda scrawny in comparison to Billie
    Which is weird because their relationship dynamic is practically the opposite of that

  19. Viktoria

    So, is the point of this to see how long it takes before someone calls the cops on Ruth? Because someone needs to call the cops on Ruth. She is completely out of control, and won’t stop abusing people until someone makes her stop.

  20. Dicrel Seijin

    This has actually happened to me. My friend tripped me as I passed and I did a face plant and came up with a bleeding nose and cut lip. Missed class entirely. I think it was two weeks before I began speaking to my friend again.

    Suffice it to say, any sympathy I’ve felt for Ruth is gone.

  21. Dr.Z

    Ya know, none of the RA’s in my colleges could do any of this sh*%.

    They were lucky to get people to listen to them.

    I guess they should have broken the law & assaulted people more often.

  22. nothri

    Wow. Ruth has gone from actively goading her charges into attacking and stealing their personal items to sharing a beer (albeit after breaking into their apartment) and only occasionally raining a casual kind of abuse down on their heads. I think its cute to see the way her relationship with her kismesis is evolving.

  23. Bugberry

    if this was in Japan, Billie would have toast in her mouth.

  24. Martigro

    I’m just gonna go ahead and ship these two.

  25. SeanNOLA

    Now redraw the last panel, but with Hawkeye in place of Billy.

  26. begbert2

    It’s girls-dropping-on-their-head week here at Dumbing of Age!! Tune in tomorrow for the thrilling climax, where Dorothy, Dina, and Amber trip and fall simultaneously out a third story window, bounce off their skulls, do a flip, and land in totem pole formation!

    1. Leorale

      I would read the heck out of that

    2. Mogotoo

      Meanwhile, in Shortpacked!…

  27. hailey

    Awsome

  28. LuckyStar7

    This just made the crap out of my birthday!

  29. Pinja

    Popular culture has really warped me when I think this is a form of flirting : /

    1. Michelle J Caboose

      Are you kidding? This is the kindest Ruth has ever been to Billie! It’s practically a marriage proposal!

  30. Somebody

    They really need to get a room.

  31. newllend

    One of these days there both going to get drunk and there let out every last bit of sexual frustration out

  32. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

    And that’s how Billie became paralyzed…

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