154

King
Posted on March 15, 2024 by David M Willis

154 thoughts on “King”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    if they’re shitty mobile merge games, a LOT of them, bc cooldown timers

    1. ian livs

      Too real

    2. Thag Simmons

      I mean if you’re a good speedrunner you can clear a lot of games in a frighteningly short time. I doubt Walky’s capable of beating the entire Fallout series in under two hours, but it’s theoretically possible.

      1. jflb96

        The trick is to only play Fallout, Fallout 2, and Fallout New Vegas; otherwise the series has actually beaten you

    3. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      Maybe it is like those “thousands of video games” things at flea markets back when, where starting with 3 lives, starting with 2 lives, and starting on level 2 were counted as three different games.

    4. Reltzik

      It’s an idle pass time, so it should be idle games.

      1. Needfuldoer

        I like Cookie Clicker, but Walky might not have the patience to play long enough to build up inertia.

    5. Queen Anthai

      I have no idea what you’re talking about, says the woman with Merge Mansion, Seaside Escape, Merge Mayor, Longleaf Valley, and Gossip Harbor on her tablet.

      1. Ana Chronistic

        Merge Sweets, Merge Inn, Merge Restaurant

        1. Ana Chronistic

          Merge Inn is great, bc it stars Gadget Hackwrench ??

        2. Queen Anthai

          You’re sleeping on Seaside Escape. It’s got a decent plot, well-rounded characters, and it’s queer as hell. I love it.

        3. Ana Chronistic

          nah, Webtoon Treasure Hunt has conditioned me to never play ANY mobile game until it has a Treasure Hunt quest, bc the rewards are only given to first-time users

    6. Freezer

      Marvel Snap, Gems of War. Free to play, no ads, no cooldown timers (I think Snap has a limit if you run out of cubs, but you have to suuuuck to hit that limit).

    7. DarkoNeko

      merge dragon, merge magic my beloveds

  2. NGPZ

    Re: last panel

    mood

    1. anon

      oh noes why pika jail

      and def fluctuates depending on a game, i don’t think i’d have the attention span to ever be a streamer, personality /commentary aside but some games like the sims you play for like a week straight and never touch again for 3 months or replaying some old stuff like pokemon (i guess they never did make one with another save file but i always played on emulators)

      1. NGPZ

        hey man there plenty of streamers with ADHD!

        also re: pika jail, i recently fell for a scam in which i lost all my paypal balance and my discord account to IRL team rocket

        support really appreciated ?

        1. cbwroses

          Sorry to hear that.

        2. Laura

          Oh noes! Scams suck. I’m so sorry to hear that.

          I just recently created an infodump link list (my language of caring) for a dear one who was also just scammed. Would it help if I shared it here? May not be right away, but def. before next strip. It’s all USA resources.

        3. NGPZ

          Very much appreciated, yes ?

        4. Laura

          Hi NG,

          Here ya go, NG. Sorry, just saw this.

          The Trade Commission has a step-by-step guide for victims of fraud:
          https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-do-if-you-were-scammed

          Report and recover from identity theft:
          https://www.identitytheft.gov/

          To report international cybercrime:
          https://www.ic3.gov/

          More in a bit…

        5. Laura

          Hello again,

          A few more consumer finance protections:
          https://www.ftc.gov/about-ftc/bureaus-offices/bureau-consumer-protection

          Consumer Finance Protection Bureau:
          https://www.consumerfinance.gov/

          If the mail was involved, you can contact the USPS inspector general:
          https://www.uspsoig.gov/hotline

        6. Laura

          Hello there,

          For victims of online harassment and exploitation, here’s how to Opt-out from data brokers and protect your personal info online:

          https://yourdigitalrights.org/data-brokers
          https://www.whitepages.com/suppression-requests
          https://www.wired.com/story/delete-yourself-from-internet/

        7. Laura

          Some people also use commercial identity protection services, VPNs, and other such online privacy tools to help protect their data from fraudsters and phishers and long-leggedy beasties…

          https://www.usnews.com/360-reviews/privacy/identity-theft-protection/aura
          https://www.eff.org/pages/tools
          https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/products/vpn/

        8. NGPZ

          ?? Thank you so much Laura, I reported my incident to the FTC for whatever good that will do. Additionally, thank you for letting me know WhitePages exists, holy shit ?

        9. Laura

          Some reason Akismet is now deleting all my comments. I’ll try again later.

          In the meantime, PayPal and Discord likely have fraud/scam help centers you can use, too, to try to get your money and account back.

        10. laura

          Hmmm… comments getting deleted again. Let’s try this.

          Here are the PayPal scam pages:

          paypal.com/us/security

          paypal.com/us/security/learn-about-scams

          We’ll see if this posts…

        11. laura

          OK, so this works. Here are the Discord safety pages:

          discord.com/safety

          discord.com/safety/protecting-users-from-scams-on-discord

          discord.com/safety/common-scams-what-to-look-out-for

          Hope you recover well and safely and soon!

        12. laura

          Hi again,

          Here’s the Better Business Bureau scam tracker. They also provide free dispute resolution services for disputed transactions:

          bbb.org/scamtracker

          It can also help to freeze your credit record:

          usa.gov/credit-freeze

          There are also free internet security tools to help protect small businesses. (As a freelancer, you qualify!)

          consumer.ftc.gov/features/identity-theft

          Good luck!

          -Laura

        13. laura

          I think you mentioned California a while back, too, right? If that’s where you are, these law enforcement resources might also help:

          oag.ca.gov/privacy/ccpa

          oag.ca.gov/consumers

          Here’s the nationwide scam enforcement office:

          fbi.gov/how-we-can-help-you/scams-and-safety

        14. NGPZ

          Oh shit, thank you so much once again, those will be helpful as well ??

        15. Laura

          Oh, you are so welcome, NG! It’s awful when it happens. I appreciate you for allowing me to infodump with you. I’m sending good vibes out through the aether webs for your safe recovery.

        16. NGPZ

          ????????????

        17. anon

          lol idk if i have adhd or anything but while some games are fun but i don’t think i could do 2 hours with commentary let alone a six hour stream (tho i know some ppl do have shiny hunting streams while casually talking), and sorry to hear that (and there are a ton of games out there but i don’t think i’d be as interested in personally playing them versus watching someone else playing in teh background while doing other stuff)

  3. Taffy

    Why do you think gamers have so many games? What, you think they’re playing just one the entire time?

    1. anon

      or a large steam library of games they never played, buti can imagine some person dedicating themselves to a specific mmo til the servers shut down lol

      1. Mano308gts

        Man, y’calling me out.

        I have several triple A titles, a litany of classic games (from the pre-2015 era, not the pre-’95 era)… Around 100 games in my library total. I have played (ever) about 40 of ’em… And meanwhile my top two games played have watched racked more than 2k hours (probably more than 3k for the top game)… while Skyrim’s in position #3 with around 1100 hours (but only 750 on my current account).

        I have an excuse though- while my tower is a robust build capable of handling everything I throw at it, my Internet is limited to DSL speeds; a 40+ gig game just takes too long to download.

      2. Needfuldoer

        Yeah but they were on sale…

        TF2 is still one of my most-played games of all time, and it’s still going strong even though it’s over 15 years old. I love that stupid, broken, old game.

      3. DaveM

        I remember reading that over 60% of steam games are purchased but never downloaded. I’m sure there’s some sort of a moral there, possibly using the words ‘late phase capitalist consumer culture’, but then I look at my own steam library, and the engagement each purchase has had, and I find I am in no position to offer advice to anyone.

        1. monkyvirus

          Mine aren’t played because my computer broke and I haven’t been able to afford a new one for 4 years. I have to do everything on my phone, thanks economy!

          But I do have a switch and I do tend to play one game at a time. But I’m autistic so it might be related lol

    2. Thag Simmons

      Steam sales can be a hell of a drug.

      1. UrsulaDavina

        Humble bundles and bundles 12.00 bucks for like 10 games

        1. Amelie Wikström

          I have about 2500 games from a couple of charity bundles and I’ve played three of them. . .

    3. Amelie Wikström

      I have sometimes played like 10 or 13 idle games at the same time. Tabbing around from Cookie Clicker to Clicker Heroes to Swarm Simulator to Realm Grinder to NGU to Idle Champions to Shark Game while trying to stay on top of Crank, it’s easy to feel like you’re making good use of your time, progressing in all these simultaneous vectors.

  4. Rose by Any Other Name

    I don’t think it’s wise to fuck spinners… sounds painful.

    1. Laura

      What does that final panel mean, anyhow? Executive function? Is that something on the computer?

      1. Decidedly Orthogonal

        The phrase “executive function” refers to a set of skills. These skills underlie the capacity to plan ahead and meet goals, display self-control, follow multiple-step directions even when interrupted, and stay focused despite distractions, among others.

        1. Laura

          Oh, yes. That thing that feels so tough for me.

          So, here, Walky is saying that his brain picks a new game at random every 5 minutes?

        2. David DeLaney

          picks a new thing to do so he’s not bored every…

          –Dave, it may be a game

        3. Masumi

          And sometimes, just getting out of bed.

        4. Mark

          Executive summary, no pun intended: managing attention to get things done in sequence.

      2. Laura

        Thanks, everyone, for all the answers!

    2. Decidedly Orthogonal

      How else you gonna clear it when the fucking mower is jammed?

      1. Laura

        Owwwwwwwwsswwwww!

    3. Needfuldoer

      They don’t stop.

  5. brionl

    So, does Walky not have any classes this afternoon, or is he ditching?
    What class are Joyce et al going to anyway?

    1. Sirksome

      I think the implication is that he’s skipping or maybe he only had math today.

    2. cbwroses

      Since the class is with Roz, it should be political science with Robin.

      1. Mark

        Between Robin and Roz, I’d be sorely tempted to skip that one.

    3. DailyBrad

      Skipping. I think he’s feeling a Way about the shit in his romantic life right now, and trying to find a way to decompress.

      1. Sentient Sandvich

        that’s probably the most relatable coping mechanism ever

      2. DashWallkick

        Yeah, I think looking at Joe being romantic and Dorothy trying to fix him and Lucy (and his altercation with Amber!) has made him not feel like learning about gender right now.

        1. Woop de doop

          His gender studies class was last term though.

  6. Sirksome

    Walky kinda playing fast and loose with his grades and classes considering how he’s consistently having academic drama. I’d worry he drops out if I didn’t know that was impossible.

    1. Jeremiah

      We don’t actually know his schedule (I think) so he might genuinely don’t have classes the rest of the afternoon. (I been told college students in the US can manage their classes like that, which might or might not be true).

      1. cbwroses

        It’s true.
        At least it was for me 20 years ago.

      2. Falco

        American former college student here. In the first semestor of my senior year of college, I only had classes on Monday and Wednesday. It wasn’t intentional, but that’s how it worked out. I certainly didn’t complain.

        …though Monday and Wednesday could get quite intense.

      3. Coatl

        Now that I think about it, I think math is the only subject Walky shares with the rest of the characters, are there others he shares besides that?

        1. cbwroses

          None that we’ve seen.
          Last semester it was math and gender studies, but he’s not in gender studies now.

    2. HueSatLight

      I know we don’t see every character’s every class, but we do see an awful lot of Walky not in classes when other people are in classes. Maybe he’s skipping a “telecom” class later, to avoid Lucy.

    3. DailyBrad

      I think he’s probably okay there, like judging by the stuff with Amber, he’s genuinely doing better academically. It’s his private life that is currently fucked.

      1. Durandal_1707

        Or _not_ fucked, as the case may be.

    4. Francoinblanco

      does attending classes have a real impact on grades? I mean, it would be nice to know what material to study, but can absence actually lower your grade even if you learn for the exam on your own?

      1. Freemage

        Depends on the class, honestly. Some will have participation grades factored in. Some professors will ‘cap’ your grade (No A if you miss too many classes). And some classes are very lecture-heavy, with no real way to study for an exam if you’re not in class (though having a friend who is willing to share notes might help).
        And in other classes, if you show up on exam day and pass, that’s all the professor will care about.

        1. Masumi

          Huh, such a cap would have backfired on me SO MUCH. Like, end of semester, ‘huh, best I can get now is a C? Nice, bet I can do that without studying’

        2. Schpoonman

          Freshman year, Calculus 1, me and a couple of friends crunched out our grades before the (extremely weighted) final, we were all looking at nearly perfect scores on the final to bump us up to As, and we’d have to basically miss it for us to drop from Bs to Cs.

          I don’t know about them, I didn’t study much after that.

      2. Eyebrow

        Some classes move real fast, with problem sets after each lecture to help you absorb the material. If you skip the lecture, the problem set may seem impossible, and the text material may be unhelpful. If you skip the problem set, you are seriously falling behind.

      3. HueSatLight

        Even if it’s not a participation required class, you have to be really disciplined about keeping the same pace as the class, and the instructor has to have handed out a syllabus, that they keep to, so you don’t have to remember to pester someone who shows up to know when the tests are.

        Participation class doesn’t even mean participation is graded. You do learn things from being there and asking questions and hearing other people ask questions you didn’t think of, and hearing different perspectives.

  7. Grimey

    I wouldn’t describe what Walky is feeling as jealousy so much as…A missed connection with someone. Hard to say if he misses Lucy so much as as he misses an assuredness that Lucy (and at one time Dorothy) represented.

    …So instead, video games.

    1. Coatl

      At the moment, he seems calm, but something tells me that Dorothy gave him other advice, only this time it is to apologize to Lucy, what this boy will do later is obviously uncertain…..
      Still, Walky/Dorothy will always be my favorite.

      1. Grimey

        Mine as well. S.S. Walky/Dororthy is ready to set sail again–! Though I kinda warmed to Lucy, if nothing else to want to see her shine.

        1. Coatl

          to cross fingers

      2. Odo

        I hope he doesn’t apologize to Lucy. He has done a lot of work growing a spine, and accepting the whole “this is all your fault” blame game from Lucy would be a set back.

        1. Mark

          Depends on what the apology is for. For not being in love? Ridiculous: he has no such obligation. For not helping Lucy to form realistic expectations of their relationship until it was pried out of him, when he knew she was laboring under a serious misapprehension? Yes. Think of it also as an opening for Lucy to apologize for putting so much pressure on a shiny new relationship.

          Emotions are what they are, but how we let them move us is our responsibility.

  8. Icalasari

    My ADHD relates, Walky

  9. Animedingo

    My record is 9

  10. NGPZ

    come to think of it….

    besides the games I code for work, I haven’t legit played a game for fun in like…. months

    heh. now ain’t that something 😮

    1. Laura

      I know the feeling. Once something becomes work it becomes less like something one does for fun.

      1. NGPZ

        Well that’s the thing — I picked this job so I can work and be lazy at the same time.

        But also, I seek to make my own games one day, specially for this comic. Playing games is something I should do both for that and for sustainable stress relief, but haven’t felt the drive in so long…

        1. Laura

          How about offline games? Like pencil-and-paper games? Sometimes those can help to reset the brain…

        2. NGPZ

          maybe.

          I’ll see about digging through Pokemon nostalgia for old maze games…

        3. Laura

          I like picking up a print newspaper and doing the puzzles on the comics page. Kind of meditative.

      2. RoyanRannedos

        Kevin gets it.

        https://www.kevincomics.com/comic/the-side-hustle-shuffle/

        1. NGPZ

          One of my goals is that when I’ve finally earned enough from commissions saved up, that I’m to take a break from them entirely and focus on making a fan game, a game I want to make.

  11. C.T. Phipps

    Is Roz still furious at Joe?

    1. Coatl

      I think so, but she’s not the instant retaliation type, but I remember Liz, so…

    2. cbwroses

      Was she? I don’t remember. Why was she mad at Joe?

    3. DailyBrad

      I don’t know that she’s given Joe much thought since their sex tape, but she’s also just so rarely around that I am probably forgetting stuff.

    4. Jamie

      They don’t appear to have interacted in …. five years?

      Unless you count “in a recording while Joyce watches“.

      1. HueSatLight

        Last appearance together in person: https://www.dumbingofage.com/carry/ No Roz / Joe interaction, but interesting Joe / Joyce (a couple of days after Joyce tells Joe everything he does matters, that he matters)
        and Walky / Dorothy interactions (they’re about to go “on pause”).

        1. Tan

          https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/upgrade/ appears to be their last on-panel direct interaction (though presumably they continued to be in the gender studies class the rest of that semester)

    5. Bash

      Furious for doing what? I think he did act like a jerk when she was substitute teaching Leslie’s class, but she just seemed resigned.

    6. Amós Batista

      Roz is furious because everyone.

  12. jeffepp

    Both Walky and Dotty are secretly not-so-secretly wanting to be the one Joyce is kissing.

    1. BarerMender

      I’d like to ship Dorothy and Joyce, but Dorothy had no response at all to Joyce’s big face hug. Walky and Joyce seem to be absolutely allergic to each other.

      1. Mano308gts

        They actually have a Gob-load of banter, though. Whether that banter is friendly is up for discussion, but given that both give and take, and given that they mutually consent to remaining around each other with regular frequency, they must at very minimum tolerate each other, and quite possibly enjoy the back-and-forth.

        However, that doesn’t necessarily make them compatible, given that Joyce has demonstrated at virtually all times an apparent type for absolute units…

      2. Sere

        Walky is a hurt flirt a la the toy at Dorothy’s head. Both time he’s been super mean to Joe is when he’s been in relationship gray areas and Jor has been with Joyce. Joyce is as ‘the sweetest ever’ like Lucy and rapidly throwing off the authoritarian stuff Walky didn’t know he subscribed to as well. She’s not as academic forced as Dotty, still likes cartoons, makes time for her friends and is considered objectively attractive among the cast. I’m not saying it is that, but I’d definitely not be surprised.

    2. Sarah

      Or perhaps wishing they were getting kisses in general. Maybe from the person they just had lunch with? ?

  13. Dara

    enigmatic panel 3 dorothy is enigmatic

    1. Coatl

      It seems that now he will try to let Joe progress as he should.

    2. Mark

      Yes. I read it as observing and pondering her concerns for Joyce. This is not typical Joe behavior. For that matter, it is not typical Joyce behavior. Dorothy looks thoughtful, as she did at the end of yesterday’s strip.

  14. John Campbell

    I was getting out the editor to update the count before i re-read that last panel.

    1. HueSatLight

      sounds more sexual when it’s not “fucks”

    2. NGPZ

      That’s why you gotta be careful writing with icing on a cake for someone named Clint.

      (if it’s all capitals you’re using, of course)

      1. RassilonTDavros

        Unless “someone named Clint” is Ruth’s grandfather, then you should give him what he fucking deserves.

        1. NGPZ

          Good point.

    3. RassilonTDavros

      Back in the days of Comics Code Authoritarianism, the word “flick” was indeed banned from appearing in comic books for this exact reason.

    4. Pergola

      Drops a flick bomb.

  15. UrsulaDavina

    2-3 games usually one on the PC Switch or Steam Deck and 2 ony phone usually solitaire while I listen to a podcast.

  16. RassilonTDavros

    Oh hey, Walky said “Ah’m”. A minor detail, to be sure, but I like the idea that Sal’s accent is rubbing off on him since he’s started reconnecting with her. It’s kinda sweet, in a way.

    1. John Campbell

      Are we sure that’s not actually Sal?

      Do we even know for sure that “Walky” really exists? When have we ever seen these “twins” in the same place at the same time?

  17. AbacusWizard

    gotta be careful with keming when you write “flick” in all caps

    1. Mark

      What is this “keming” of which you speak? 🙂

      1. AbacusWizard

        The spacing between letters. It’s actually “kerning” but “keming” is a joke variation on the word because the “rn” looks like an “m” if impropertly kerned. (I grew up in my grandpa’s print shop, so I might know a little bit more about typesetting than the average human.)

  18. BBCC

    Relatable. Very relatable.

  19. Pocky

    my gf could be playing BG3 and have her switch open to mess around with some other game.

    Meanwhile I gotta devote 100% of my attention to one game, trying desperately not to die lol

    1. UrsulaDavina

      I don’t know if she has ADHD but I do that to albeit with .y phone or switch playing tetris which relaxes me while playing a strategy game or a turn based game.

  20. DailyBrad

    Joe’s gentle “Learn things” is making me smile too much. God, I fucking love these two together.

  21. Jess

    re the alt text: my mom used to run a secondhand furniture store and one day she got a double flicker table lamp to sell. you can guess what it looked like on the sign she made. (one of her coworkers pointed it out to her and she changed it before any potential buyers saw it)

    (tbh I’m still not sure what a double flicker table lamp is)

  22. Francoinblanco

    Walky for the love of God dont play multiplayer in your state of mind

  23. M!a

    I have that problem SUPAH bad.

    So bad that one day, taking a Chicago “L” train route to work, I thought I was suddenly struck with enlightenment.

    I was just sitting there, watching the world go by, and suddenly my head felt absolutely CLEAR. There was no noise in my head: no regrets for the past, no worries for the future, no pain, no fantasies of what I could have been, no guilt, no self-doubt, there was NOTHING. I saw and heard and felt and smelled EVERYTHING.

    For the rest of the day, when I worked, I JUST worked. When I ate, I JUST ate, and when I rested I JUST rested. Everything I did, I poured my full attention into. Everything I saw was nothing more than it was, just its reality, and that reality was perfect.

    I texted my spouse: “Holy shit… the Bodhi Tree is a Red Line train and we are all Buddhas in waiting.”

    It took a couple of days to wear off. I never even knew until a year or so ago that what had been affected, and I’ll never know the cause, was my executive function.

    1. Rowan

      That sounds amazing.

  24. DarkoNeko

    Walky no

  25. Aura

    In the words of my people, Walky’s not here to fuck spiders!
    (Re: Alt text)

    1. Masumi

      Huh.
      I am, in fact, almost never anywhere to fornicate with arachnids.

      1. Tan

        Not even when playing the Monster Musume dating sim?

      2. Aura

        Haha yep, I think that’s the idea behind the expression! ^^ I’m pretty sure the most traditional use is as a reply to being asked if you’re drinking when at the pub; it’s kind of a way of saying that obviously you’re there to drink and not some other absurd reason such as arachnid fornication.

    2. Mark

      Terriffic. Now I’ll have the rest of the day remembering Sheldon Cooper working out the logical ramifications of the Spider Man song.

  26. Now

    I love how the kiss is drawn ! It do be like that when the small woman and the big man smooch

  27. Amós Batista

    What do you prefer: a lot of games as many you can take, or playing with one in entire year?

  28. Reltzik

    “I’m off to not do classes, like a king among men.”

    Huh. Kingship based, ultimately, on a class divide. How unprecedented.

    1. eh, whatever

      Day saved.

  29. juli

    Just wait until your brain gets bored of video games, Walky. It’s hard to compare an ADHD spinner pointing at nothing.

  30. Rabisch

    Walky said what he said in yesterday’s strip because he’s envious of Joyce and Joe. He just breakup (probably) with a girl he likes, he knows that it’s mostly his fault and then he sees these two be all lovely doves, it’s understandable that he feels annoyed.

  31. Loki

    DoA Book 14: Flicking A Spinner

  32. Amós Batista

    Of course Roz will sudden appear, as someone has talked about some insecurity about sex.

  33. Hof1991

    Walky and Dorothy both glancing at a couple in love and wondering what might have been. A sense of lost possibilities at age 19.

  34. Lightweight Baybee

    there’s roz
    help joe plz

  35. HueSatLight

    Youth pastor voice: “You know who else was a king and had their executive function flicked by a spinner arrow 23 times?”

  36. Yeet

    from scared joe to sad walky
    whiplash man
    are they walking off together
    could be interesting if those two get some paneltime
    joe should make walky try to lift some weights

  37. Dday

    Does anyone else think Roz might be feeling *sliiiightly* jealous of Joyce rn?

    1. Mark

      Maybe, but her expression just says to me,”you’re in the way.”

    2. thejeff

      Hard to imagine, considering her last known opinion of Joe.

  38. NGPZ

    Walky should play Pizza Tower. It really seems like his kind of game.

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