Sarah knows a lot about friendships the same way David Attenborough knows a lot about animal social hierarchies, but with fewer cameras and less funding
There was a girl in my high school who avoided interactions with everyone as much as possible, and for a long time I thought it was because she was concerned about being rejected. But later, I learned: she understood what friendships were really like and what our classmates were really like, and was concerned about being accepted.
Re: Yesterday’s comments and my cathartic wall of text, I’m REALLY REALLY sorry to those of you I triggered, and thank you all SO MUCH for your patience as I work out ways of processing and telling about my trauma that are more approachable and digestible to myself and others.
???
I am just so grateful to still be part of this diverse, wonderful community that comes close as ever to understanding me, the fucked up weirdo I am (not that I think that’s a bad thing, I like a lot of things that are weird and fucked, like this comic, and Bravest Warriors)
Re: Today’s Strip, This is just one of the things I really love about Dina, how she’s willing to learn about the world and the people in it, even when it’s sometimes frustrating and confusing, even when she comes across ugly realities such as Joyce’s and Becky’s abuse and sexual hangups, among other things.
I feel really appalled and really sad that systematic racism stopped her from getting something she desired to help her in school, and/or even life in general.
But at the same time, I find cold, bitter-sweet comfort in knowing that, having not been diagnosed from such a young age, she was spared the horrible experiences, the legally-justified TORTURE, the insidious traps she could have fallen into if she got that official label. ?
I don’t know if at all the comic will explore the dark side of the autism label, but if it does one day, however it’s addressed through the story, that Dina won’t be hurt!!!!
I empathize with what you went through, Wellerman, but my perspective is based on the fact that I wasn’t even diagnosable until I was 31, and most psychologists were still unwilling to even consider diagnosing an adult with autism until I was around 50. The horrible experiences and insidious traps were still there, though – corporate America is a horror show for those who can’t conform, who don’t understand office politics and who don’t even understand what they don’t understand (because everyone assumed you were “normal” and never needed to be told about social interactions).
Basically, what I’m saying here is that diagnosis or no, the rest of the world knows we’re weird and reacts badly. At least if you have the papers you can demand accommodation or threaten them with the ADA.
It’s really rough for us out there like you said, and just so you have complete understanding, it’s different if you get the label as a child like I did. It puts you at the mercy of school teachers and “professionals” who are often unsupervised, protected by the most impenetrable Kafka-esque systems.
Re: reacting badly to being “weird”, even if I could have learned to hide that, the “autism” label to those teachers, “professionals” and students was just a dead-give-away to me being “weird”, in addition to a million other hurtful assumptions and horrible treatment that they don’t dish out to just ANY “weird” kid.
annarchy
Wierd is wonderfully. But so is normal. If people weren’t so wrapped up in trying to be normal and of part normative Societital constructs or if they didn’t preach that normal was best. then you wouldn’t have people hiding their non normatively. People’s fear of being weird, actually bloats the perception of the numbers of normative populous. That’s why it’s hard to understand that people with red hair are as common as intersex disorders. Because we don’t look at intersex disorders or phenotype everybody. We can see hair and there’s even cultural Trends towards different hair colors being preferable and getting her hair dyed to match those trends. But natural redheads are as common as most genetic variants of human or many forms of disorders.
If we called being a redhead a disorder it wouldn’t make sense either.
I completely understand that. I got diagnosed in 2020 at age 45. We’re pursuing diagnosis for my son, who will be 17 this month. I know why my childhood sucked so badly now, and I feel vindicated.
Weller, in spirit of trying to help you a bit with this, I’ll tell you two things that helped me cope with, and learn to live with my ’tism.
First: Finding a proper psychiatrist who understood me and gave me some bran pills that helped me manage the cocktail of weird shit in my brain. IT turned me into a zombie for a week or two when I first started taking them, but they really helped blunt the worst of the ’tism and learn how to interact with the normies. Once I learned how to do it, I used that as a baseline to establish a pattern to interact with them that I could keep for when I was off the meds. Eventually, like any other learned skill, it becomes mostly automatic. Of course, society changes, and we can’t adapt as fast as everyone else, but that’s what practice is for.
Second: Aging helps. A lot. Maybe a mixture of experience and the changing of brain biochemistry, but I’ve managed to get better at interacting with normies thanks to aging, and while I don’t have as many spoons for interacting with people, experience has helped me be a lot more granular with them. IE, I chipped my 5 spoons into 50 chunks of spoon I can accomodate better.
I have never heard of meds for Autism. Autism is often comorbid with a lot of stuff that can be medicated, however
So I’m kind of staring at this all, “Meds… For Autism?”
Carms
given as how autism is sortof a variable cocktail condition, with many unique house mixes, it’s maybe a case of targeting meds at a specific symptom, and if the rest of the brain/body system shakes out ok, it’s easier to function. it’s medication that is treating autism, but not ‘meds for autism’ as such.
tbf, most meds work like this. ibuprofen doesn’t treat menstrual cramping, it treats the associated inflammation. sometimes you can point medication at the lynchpin of a condition and slice through the whole gordian knot, but only sometimes.
Icalasari
Huh, just found out through a little research that Risperidone (which I do take to help the effectiveness of my Fluoxetine) does help treat irritability connected to autism
Guess that is what was meant by medicating Autism (also guess this explains why I’ve been less pissy lately)
Arian
I can attest to the fact that my autistic son gets very agitated and angry, and Risperidone is what he takes to help him stay calm.
I’m not sure it’s not partly a placebo effect, because he calms down fast after he takes it, and I sometimes wonder if it could really work that fast. But I’ve never taken it myself, so I can’t tell, and he can’t say.
Hof1991
I’ve seen the effects with a relative with dementia. She wasn’t aware it was in her tea but it does calm her very quickly.
—-> BTW I still don’t AT ALL at all feel comfy with people here calling me “autistic”, at least not yet.
And that’s what I’m getting at here, the struggle.
It’s like…. some part of me wants to call myself “autistic”, but I’m just so SCARED of being vulnerable. ?
I just want a way to say it without saying “autism”, that’s equally valid and noticed.
I want a way to say it that ONLY keeps all the good parts, like people being able to read it fast, like how they can read something like “homoromantic bisexual gender-fluid” and instantly know that specific aspect about someone with very little reading, like being able to have this sense of community and relating to people who share some but not all experiences, a sense of powers, acknowledgement that I have to live differently,
that also keeps out all the bad parts, like something that if I say it, won’t make people out there subject me to condescending compassion, make hurtful assumptions, lump me in with those destined for mental deterioration and a cognitive fate worse than death, something that won’t make them infantilize me, something that won’t make people and employers use me as a token in their next pity party. something that won’t make people assume or think any part of me that I pride myself in is not really my own but down to some alleged, undue influence on my brain.
Like, it would really sadden me if I tried to make a name for myself out there in the world of science, invention, video games, creative work, etc., and if word got out I was “autistic”, and people would only pay attention to what I do because of the “autism” part, and it’s like, “oh, NOW you’re interested. Nice to know you only read what I write out of pity and that obligatory good deed you have to do so you don’t feel guilty for indulging in worldly pleasures and privilege and sugary foods and shit.
Also, that last part, about parts of myself that I KNOW are my own, my personality — I absolutely HATE it when people out there say things like “autistic people are more likely to be into STEM as a result of autism”.
Whether I ever call my neurodivergence “autism”, it should be known that my passion in STEM is NOT a biproduct of my neurodivergence. It’s a part of myself that I LOVE and that is my own, nothing to do with my neurodivergence.
And the people who think they can tell me otherwise because of the latest pop-psych pseudo-science brain bullshit peddled by greedy media corporations can all eat a double-decker ghost-pepper manure battery acid sandwich, just HATE the assumptions, you know?
I sure hope that’s palatable to the overwhelming majority of readers, but if it isn’t for whoever is reading this at the moment, I’m really sorry that I made you feel bad, however I made you feel bad.
I’m still learning, we’re ALL learning, and I love learning from all of you here, very grateful to have found this comic and it’s community.
Hopefully now with a clearer picture of my struggle, you might be able to think of ways you can help.
Thank you for taking the time to listen, really means the world to me.
also, i haven’t put up music as i almost always do here for a few days now, so…..
To be honest, a lot of what you’re saying here is why I’ve been reluctant to chase up my own diagnosis. I know I need to talk to a professional about my problems with sensory overload and anxiety, plus a few things that may be indicators for adhd if I’m really honest with myself, but I am worried for what it means for my work life. But the thing is that I’ve been called weird, talked down to and infantilised to some extent all my life without ever really knowing why. If I’m going to be treated that way anyway, maybe knowing the reason might be helpful and could grant me the help I need to properly address some of this stuff? Even if it’s just knowing that I am indeed neurodivergent and that’s the reason people aren’t really understanding what I’m trying to communicate? Does that make sense?
asmodai27
I absolutely HATE it when people out there say things like “autistic people are more likely to be into STEM as a result of autism”
And you have every right to!
For one, though ““autistic people are more likely to be into STEM” may of may not be statistically true (and with the way we diagnose it, I highly doubt that statistic would be scientifically relevant), it is important for everyone to understand that statistics mean nothing to an individual.
And then, the even more problematic part: “as a result of autism” is completely irrelevant to that statistic. We have no way (as of today) to know whether there is any link.
Masumi
I wonder, have you tried meditation? I think that’s helped me a lot, kinda both understanding my own workings better, and also rely much less on other people’s opinions on me. Or maybe that second part is a good portion of ‘running out of fucks to give’ that just happened over time, I’m not sure…
Eeeh, I have no clue if my random tidbits are in any way helpful. You just remind me of past me in some aspects, so my first impulse is sharing stuff I came across and found helpful. If it annoys you I’ll stop ^^
No worries, thank you for the effort, I appreciate it. ?
But for me this struggle is like…. how do I put this? Maybe a helpful analogue….
I like being gender-fluid. I love it. I flow through and get the best of so many gender-worlds, genders that don’t even have names yet!
I can feel more fem fem one day and more femslick the next, genderless the on another, and so on and so on.
I like how there exists a word for this way I am, how people in an instant can read that word and know I can flow through all kinds of genders with no way to tell which one I might be next, no assuming it, that word makes it so easy to see so many other people out there who are also like this, people who also feel they shouldn’t be tied down to any one pre-existing gender category, having a word that just helps us connect, that validates us!
But “genderfluid” as a word did not always exist. As much as I am very grateful for having this widely recognized, valid word for this part of myself on this day and age, it makes me feel also very sad for the genderfluid individuals who existed before it.
What was it like for genderfluid individuals like me in the past before “gender-fluid” became a valid thing? How did it feel to be forced to shove yourself into a category that just didn’t fit you, just to be recognized? It must have been awful, just not having a word to validate an important part of yourself, not being able to find others like this.
I’m just so grateful that I have this word to express this part of myself and connect with others on it today, also one for how I’m sexually fluid, yay!!!
Same for my neurodivergence. I can feel like the various combinations that “”autism”” could mean one day, “ADHD” the next, neurodivergences that don’t have names yet!
But like, where’s the word for that? What’s a thing I could say with a compound word where this is a valid, recognized way of being, one that I and others like me could connect on?
Allandrel
How we self-identiy is important and valid. I may proudly identify as “autistic,” and loathe “person with autism,” but I strongly support others’ right to identify differently.
Thank you too for trying to help, much appreciated, too.
But sorry, no, still feels like a target on my back, and really doesn’t help that Autism Speaks and greedy media corporations pretty much own that, too. *sigh* ?
Also “everyone is on the spectrum to some degree”, so…. ?
So too much tangled in with condescending “compassion”, you know?
Allandrel
I do. The “everyone is on the spectrum to some degree” is just so aggravating, along with the supposed complement “Oh, you don’t act autistic at all!” That one is practically “You are a credit to your people.”
Like, the think I wanna highlight here is, “autism” the way it is used by people out there, in that “you don’t act autistic” and the “autism” here, might not be different words, but they might as well be.
And this is by no means exclusive to neurodivergence, either. You take a person from Harrison, Arkansas and one from Santa Cruz, California, and both say “freedom” or “peace” or “social order”.
They may not be using different words, but they mean different things. It’s like they’re both technically speaking “English”, yes, but they might as well be different languages.
And interestingly enough, many MANY languages around the world, languages spoken by nations next to each other, especially in places like Western Europe (just off the top of my head) use a lot of the same words and grammar but INSIST on calling each other different languages because of key political differences, very important differences.
Really interesting how humans and communication work like that, and very much worth noting on a multi-cultural frontier.
Now, if I notice something really important about human communication like that, am I suddenly more or less “”autistic”” or “”neurodivergent””?
If you can recognize the fundamental obstacles to answering that question, you are already shattering the grand illusion that keeps the powerful in power.
Hopefully you know now. And knowing is half the battle.
If you’re up for advice butting in, I do have a couple recommendations:
One’s comparatively easy, or at least short-term: Try and recognize when you need to bow out of the comments for the day or the rest of a scene. Doesn’t have to be because it’s touching a sore spot, sometimes I just drop because I know I’ll get involved all day if I don’t stop here, or because I can tell I’m getting too riled up about something trivial and need a cooldown period. (Do not overthink the ethics of Secret College Dorm Iguanas.) There’s also some weeks where I know I shouldn’t comment even if the subject’s innocuous because I KNOW I’m too emotionally worked up from IRL stuff to not spiral if I do post. (And sometimes I just don’t have anything to say. At least as frequent! But since I do use this comments section semi-socially I try and keep an eye on myself.) Figuring out the line is tricky, especially since it changes and some days I AM game to spend all day in DoA mode or suddenly have way less mental wherewithal than I thought, and I’ve definitely screwed up before, but it’s a learning process. Goal is to catch yourself sooner the second time, and sooner still the third. And then maybe on the fourth you don’t catch it until way later, but hey, it happens to the best of us. Try again with the fifth.
Longer term and requires putting yourself out there, but still doable so long as you have internet and privacy: I also think it’s probably worth looking into broader neurodivergent communities, for the ‘I wish I could call myself autistic without being so afraid’ aspect you mentioned downthread and general support. Unfortunately, medically-sanctioned child abuse is not unheard of in ‘treatments’ for autism. But that means there are other people who’ve come out the other side, and there are spaces specifically for talking about that kind of trauma. Plus, it tends to be restorative just finding a space where other people are on your same wavelength and comfortable with themselves. I know Reddit has some dedicated subreddits on the topic that are likely good resources, and if you check the right tags you can find communities of actual neurodivergent and autistic people on most of the other major social media sites. (Actually Autistic has cross-platform appeal, and I suspect Actually ADHD would exist by now as well. CripTheVote on Twitter is a more general disability activism tag and explicitly political – and US-based unless I’m HUGELY mistaken, general note – but it might give you an idea of people to follow. Neurodivergent or related words will get you better hits than ‘autism’ or ‘ADHD’ on their own but I can’t speak to that for sure. The other ones I know of off the top of my head at 2 AM are for physical disability and chronic illness, so not necessarily where I’d recommend for pure neurodivergence stuff.) One of the reasons I attend Disability Day of Mourning is that, as horrible as the reason behind it is, I still take some strength in being at a vigil and being able to grieve collectively with people who I know Get It in a space where I feel no pressure to mask (in the metaphorical sense. Still masking in the physical COVID sense. Plus no one can see your facial expression in one, win.) And I also attend less traumatic events which are more straightforwardly restorative. You don’t realize how freeing it is to not have to clap until you’re in a room where the norm is Jazz Hands of Acknowledgement instead, or where people are casually bringing stim toys or you can play a low-thought game while you talk. All of which occur in physical space, but I wouldn’t keep hanging out around here if I DIDN’T have other people who also like the Long Wordy Comment style to bounce off of.
If you have access and opportunity it also DEFINITELY sounds like something a trauma-informed, neurodiversity-positive therapist would benefit, but that’s a big if which is why I list it last. Money, proximity, the ability to do so in a safe environment, actually finding one with those specialties who you also click with… tricky to say the least, especially when the trauma INCLUDES past therapy. But if you can find that unicorn of a therapist, it really sounds like something you’d benefit from as well. Note for the future if nothing else.
Hateful isn’t the word I’d use, I don’t think there’s any malice there.
Archieve
It’s passive aggression, usually done with an “I’m just joking” tone.
Throwatron
It’s probably, you know, her one valid defense mechanism she was able to use, for her whole life, to take power away from her constant abuse and mistreatment? I bet her Mom was the same way. You can’t fight back, you can say what you mean, because other peoples’ emotions and the social cohesion naturally trump your wants and needs, in every situation, as a Good Christian Woman. But, you can bury your venting, and your own fishing for your needs to be heard, in layers of irascible snark, if you’re not too direct about it.
jeffepp
Yeah, it’s more…
Imagine that everything you think and feel might get you punished. So, you pretend to think and feel different things, publicly. And, just to make sure, you exaggerate. You clown around, act over the top. And, you’ve done it all you life.
Then, you don’t have to hide. But you’ve spent so long clowning, and making misdirecting jokes, you don’t know how to not do it. The sass has become a part of Becky.
Sirksome
It can get a little hateful. Especially a few recent burns on Dorothy that cut more than their performative rivalry warrants. I still remember her stating Dorothy had no personality and could afford to be a bit more selfish just to make herself more interesting, while also doubling down on how unapologetic she was in her own characters flaws. That was harsh.
Vanessa
Yes, agree, Becky is due to learn a lesson herself. Joyce has been hit upside the head with a lot of lessons just recently and it would be nice to see some sympathy for her. I can see why Joyce is afraid to give Becky more ammunition to hit her in a very new, tender spot but I hope Becky would have a realization that’s she’s been using her Joyce as both a life-preserver and a punching bag.
Ladymissfit
Joyce needs to put up boundaries. Backy can be a good friend and often is. She just goes too far a lot of the time without realizing it. She needs to tone it way down but probably don’t get that unless joyce tells her how it makes her actually feel but she just bottles everything up and pretends its fine.
Mturtle7
“both a life-preserver and a punching bag” is a very apt metaphor for this kind of toxic friend dynamic. Nicely done.
Throwatron
I think it’s helpful to remember that Becky’s internal experience, though not existing in the same particularly neuroses as Joyce, is absolutely benchmarked to her own constantly-looming internal sense of “everything about me is irreparably wrong, and everything I’ve ever experienced has come with the constant subtext of my eventual, eternal damnation.” Her fucking dad tried to kidnap her at gunpoint, for fuck’s sake. Every time she even hears herself think or feel anything, she hears that internalized harsh criticism, which comes naturally from her kind of extended, endless systemic trauma.
What I’m saying is, her practical concept for how harsh a criticism can be, is pretty out-of-whack with normies. Every expectation which has ever been foisted upon her, by others or by herself, carries that innate subtext of “you are completely, utterly wrong, and it’s your fault, and your responsibility to fix.” It’s no wonder she can’t get that exactly right, when she comes at criticism, itself, from the perspective of ingrained self-hatred. Her flippantness is supposed to soften the blow, but she seriously over-estimates how softened any given blow can get, because she’s used to huge amounts of persistent emotional abuse being treated as completely normal social interactions, and crucially, ones which her inadequacy is naturally and rightfully responsible for her to be receiving.
Nono
Becky also is aware that she’s been know to overstep her performative rivalry role and needs to ‘get her likability quotient back up’.
I think she’s lucky that Dorothy is a relative pushover, because most of Becky’s best relationships are with people that don’t really fight back hard – Joyce, Dorothy, Dina.
Ladymissfit
Tbf, dorothy fights back by being nicebsck, completely disarming her from ammunition to use.
Nono
That is a fair point, Becky mostly copes by being defensive and snarky, similar to Walky. Or Carla. Or Jennifer. Or Malaya.
There’s a lot of them in this comic, that’s all.
thejeff
But also, I suspect, disarming Becky’s gauge for knowing when she’s going too far. If she’s actually doing it performatively as a friendly rivalry, I’d expect her to be watching for signs of pushback or of actual hurt from it to know when to dial back. Since she doesn’t get them, at least in a form she recognizes, it must all be fine and she can keep doing it.
But yeah, very definitely a coping mechanism for all her long term trauma. It’s a problem, but it’s a long way from “hateful”.
Technically, she did so when making fun of religion with Liz.
RassilonTDavros
I mean, she wasn’t really making fun of Becky specifically. I know there’s been debate on whether she was specifically making fun of herself (that is, the person she used to be) or of Christians/Christianity in general, but honestly I don’t think anyone would be interpreting it as an insult to Becky in particular if she hadn’t entered the room at the worst possible time.
Ladymissfit
It’s mostly the way joyce stood her ground that turned it into more outright hatefulness. It probably started as venting about herself but once becky began questioning about what it meant it quickly turned to joyce being fairly inconsiderate towards anyone with religious beliefs, becky included and it only spiraled from there.
Joyfulldreams
Becky barged in and decided to make Joyce’s crisis of faith all about herself, and quite frankly, all Joyce really did was respond in kind. It didn’t need to be about Becky, or Becky’s mom, or Becky’s faith, but Becky is the one who decided it needed to be about all of those things, so that’s what it became.
june gloom
Oh this again. No, Becky violated her privacy and threw a tantrum because she heard things that were not meant for her ears.
Joyce needs better friends in general, but Becky is by far the worst.
Needfuldoer
Joyce was attacking a strawman of the kind of person she used to be, and inadvertently cast a wide net Becky got caught in.
(Becky was only there because she tracked Joyce down and Kramered into a conversation she wasn’t part of, but still…)
Depending on who you ask she was making fun of Becky during the incident where she was outed as an Atheist
Vanessa
She wasn’t directly insulting Becky though, even if she was working through issues where she might have directly confronted Becky if she had more confidence in her own eloquence.
Imogen
OOooooh. I wonder if Joyce “making fun of Becky”, indirectly, has anything to do with Becky constantly teasing her and a part of Joyce not really liking it? Hm.
I do really like the current arc of “Joyce is actually a little burned out on being everyone’s cute little joke”. It actually reminds me a lot of my issues with Dina-style representation–Joyce is an in-universe “quaint autistic” whose habits are seen as funny and charming, but not necessarily respected as those of a normal human being.
Lion
Hm, if you don’t mind, I would like clarification on one point: when you use Dina as an example of this kind of representation, does this mistreatment have to remain uninterrogated by the narrative for it to count, or no? The reason I ask is that just about every instance I can recall of her being infantilized by other characters for her autistic traits is *immediately* called out: Sarah angrily comes to her defense when Raidah assumes she’s mentally challenged, Dina angrily calls out her friends for saying that it was weird for Becky to like her because she “looks and acts like she’s 12,” and both Becky and Dina call out Robin for describing her as “That frightening dinosaur child.” If this trope is meant to describe narratives where such harmful views *aren’t* examined, then I’m not sure Dina qualifies despite being named as the prime example of said trope. I may well have misinterpreted some aspect of your argument, though.
Taffy
When you say Sarah “angrily comes to her defense”, are you referring to her beating Raidah to a bloody pulp with the mannequin arm? That’s a little more than coming to somebody’s defense, innit?
Sombrero
Dunno, it looks like proportionated response to me. Extracting her heart and eating it, on the other hand…
Taffy
Maybe I’m being a little sensitive about the arm thing because my bio-father died in a horrific freak mannequin accident when I were only a wee lass, but yeah the heart thing was a bit much even for the tougher among us. And after poor Raidah offered to buy everyone ice cream and all.
Imogen
Oh, I actually think the NARRATIVE treats Dina that way. I can’t remember the last time she’s been allowed to just be a flawed person and not some sort of idealized autistic savant.
StClair
I’d say she was making fun of everyone “dumb” enough to believe in all of that, her own past self first among them.
(her motive being equal parts “scoring points with her cool new friend” and lashing out at who she used to be and those she blames for making her that way.)
Yeah, it wasn’t Dina getting mad at Joyce specifically, it was Dina getting mad at a system that puts her at a disadvantage through no fault of her own and Joyce was ‘Exhibit A’.
Like I said yesterday, her words and implied emphasis made her dialogue come across more pointed than she probably intended.
307 thoughts on “Know why”
Ana Chronistic
ironic that SARAH is schooling Joyce about friendships
Andy
Sarah knows a lot about friendships the same way David Attenborough knows a lot about animal social hierarchies, but with fewer cameras and less funding
Agemegos
Sir David got a GCMG in the Jubilee honours list!
Archieve
I’m hoping she might be unintentionally schooling Dorothy too. Joyce’s eating habits are something she joked with Becky about not too long ago.
Ladymissfit
Sarah knows a lot about friendship dynamics which is why she avoids them
Some Ed
This.
There was a girl in my high school who avoided interactions with everyone as much as possible, and for a long time I thought it was because she was concerned about being rejected. But later, I learned: she understood what friendships were really like and what our classmates were really like, and was concerned about being accepted.
Mturtle7
Isn’t “making fun of your friends in a way that isn’t ENTIRELY mean-spirited, but maybe it is a little” kind of Sarah’s precise area of expertise?
Some Ed
Also this.
The Wellerman
Re: Yesterday’s comments and my cathartic wall of text, I’m REALLY REALLY sorry to those of you I triggered, and thank you all SO MUCH for your patience as I work out ways of processing and telling about my trauma that are more approachable and digestible to myself and others.
???
I am just so grateful to still be part of this diverse, wonderful community that comes close as ever to understanding me, the fucked up weirdo I am (not that I think that’s a bad thing, I like a lot of things that are weird and fucked, like this comic, and Bravest Warriors)
Re: Today’s Strip, This is just one of the things I really love about Dina, how she’s willing to learn about the world and the people in it, even when it’s sometimes frustrating and confusing, even when she comes across ugly realities such as Joyce’s and Becky’s abuse and sexual hangups, among other things.
I feel really appalled and really sad that systematic racism stopped her from getting something she desired to help her in school, and/or even life in general.
But at the same time, I find cold, bitter-sweet comfort in knowing that, having not been diagnosed from such a young age, she was spared the horrible experiences, the legally-justified TORTURE, the insidious traps she could have fallen into if she got that official label. ?
I don’t know if at all the comic will explore the dark side of the autism label, but if it does one day, however it’s addressed through the story, that Dina won’t be hurt!!!!
???
Jon S.
I empathize with what you went through, Wellerman, but my perspective is based on the fact that I wasn’t even diagnosable until I was 31, and most psychologists were still unwilling to even consider diagnosing an adult with autism until I was around 50. The horrible experiences and insidious traps were still there, though – corporate America is a horror show for those who can’t conform, who don’t understand office politics and who don’t even understand what they don’t understand (because everyone assumed you were “normal” and never needed to be told about social interactions).
Basically, what I’m saying here is that diagnosis or no, the rest of the world knows we’re weird and reacts badly. At least if you have the papers you can demand accommodation or threaten them with the ADA.
The Wellerman
Thank you for sharing, very much appreciated.
It’s really rough for us out there like you said, and just so you have complete understanding, it’s different if you get the label as a child like I did. It puts you at the mercy of school teachers and “professionals” who are often unsupervised, protected by the most impenetrable Kafka-esque systems.
Re: reacting badly to being “weird”, even if I could have learned to hide that, the “autism” label to those teachers, “professionals” and students was just a dead-give-away to me being “weird”, in addition to a million other hurtful assumptions and horrible treatment that they don’t dish out to just ANY “weird” kid.
annarchy
Wierd is wonderfully. But so is normal. If people weren’t so wrapped up in trying to be normal and of part normative Societital constructs or if they didn’t preach that normal was best. then you wouldn’t have people hiding their non normatively. People’s fear of being weird, actually bloats the perception of the numbers of normative populous. That’s why it’s hard to understand that people with red hair are as common as intersex disorders. Because we don’t look at intersex disorders or phenotype everybody. We can see hair and there’s even cultural Trends towards different hair colors being preferable and getting her hair dyed to match those trends. But natural redheads are as common as most genetic variants of human or many forms of disorders.
If we called being a redhead a disorder it wouldn’t make sense either.
FairyGothMama
I completely understand that. I got diagnosed in 2020 at age 45. We’re pursuing diagnosis for my son, who will be 17 this month. I know why my childhood sucked so badly now, and I feel vindicated.
Mr D
Weller, in spirit of trying to help you a bit with this, I’ll tell you two things that helped me cope with, and learn to live with my ’tism.
First: Finding a proper psychiatrist who understood me and gave me some bran pills that helped me manage the cocktail of weird shit in my brain. IT turned me into a zombie for a week or two when I first started taking them, but they really helped blunt the worst of the ’tism and learn how to interact with the normies. Once I learned how to do it, I used that as a baseline to establish a pattern to interact with them that I could keep for when I was off the meds. Eventually, like any other learned skill, it becomes mostly automatic. Of course, society changes, and we can’t adapt as fast as everyone else, but that’s what practice is for.
Second: Aging helps. A lot. Maybe a mixture of experience and the changing of brain biochemistry, but I’ve managed to get better at interacting with normies thanks to aging, and while I don’t have as many spoons for interacting with people, experience has helped me be a lot more granular with them. IE, I chipped my 5 spoons into 50 chunks of spoon I can accomodate better.
Icalasari
I have never heard of meds for Autism. Autism is often comorbid with a lot of stuff that can be medicated, however
So I’m kind of staring at this all, “Meds… For Autism?”
Carms
given as how autism is sortof a variable cocktail condition, with many unique house mixes, it’s maybe a case of targeting meds at a specific symptom, and if the rest of the brain/body system shakes out ok, it’s easier to function. it’s medication that is treating autism, but not ‘meds for autism’ as such.
tbf, most meds work like this. ibuprofen doesn’t treat menstrual cramping, it treats the associated inflammation. sometimes you can point medication at the lynchpin of a condition and slice through the whole gordian knot, but only sometimes.
Icalasari
Huh, just found out through a little research that Risperidone (which I do take to help the effectiveness of my Fluoxetine) does help treat irritability connected to autism
Guess that is what was meant by medicating Autism (also guess this explains why I’ve been less pissy lately)
Arian
I can attest to the fact that my autistic son gets very agitated and angry, and Risperidone is what he takes to help him stay calm.
I’m not sure it’s not partly a placebo effect, because he calms down fast after he takes it, and I sometimes wonder if it could really work that fast. But I’ve never taken it myself, so I can’t tell, and he can’t say.
Hof1991
I’ve seen the effects with a relative with dementia. She wasn’t aware it was in her tea but it does calm her very quickly.
The Wellerman
I really thank you for that, Mr D.
—-> BTW I still don’t AT ALL at all feel comfy with people here calling me “autistic”, at least not yet.
And that’s what I’m getting at here, the struggle.
It’s like…. some part of me wants to call myself “autistic”, but I’m just so SCARED of being vulnerable. ?
I just want a way to say it without saying “autism”, that’s equally valid and noticed.
I want a way to say it that ONLY keeps all the good parts, like people being able to read it fast, like how they can read something like “homoromantic bisexual gender-fluid” and instantly know that specific aspect about someone with very little reading, like being able to have this sense of community and relating to people who share some but not all experiences, a sense of powers, acknowledgement that I have to live differently,
that also keeps out all the bad parts, like something that if I say it, won’t make people out there subject me to condescending compassion, make hurtful assumptions, lump me in with those destined for mental deterioration and a cognitive fate worse than death, something that won’t make them infantilize me, something that won’t make people and employers use me as a token in their next pity party. something that won’t make people assume or think any part of me that I pride myself in is not really my own but down to some alleged, undue influence on my brain.
Like, it would really sadden me if I tried to make a name for myself out there in the world of science, invention, video games, creative work, etc., and if word got out I was “autistic”, and people would only pay attention to what I do because of the “autism” part, and it’s like, “oh, NOW you’re interested. Nice to know you only read what I write out of pity and that obligatory good deed you have to do so you don’t feel guilty for indulging in worldly pleasures and privilege and sugary foods and shit.
Also, that last part, about parts of myself that I KNOW are my own, my personality — I absolutely HATE it when people out there say things like “autistic people are more likely to be into STEM as a result of autism”.
Whether I ever call my neurodivergence “autism”, it should be known that my passion in STEM is NOT a biproduct of my neurodivergence. It’s a part of myself that I LOVE and that is my own, nothing to do with my neurodivergence.
And the people who think they can tell me otherwise because of the latest pop-psych pseudo-science brain bullshit peddled by greedy media corporations can all eat a double-decker ghost-pepper manure battery acid sandwich, just HATE the assumptions, you know?
I sure hope that’s palatable to the overwhelming majority of readers, but if it isn’t for whoever is reading this at the moment, I’m really sorry that I made you feel bad, however I made you feel bad.
I’m still learning, we’re ALL learning, and I love learning from all of you here, very grateful to have found this comic and it’s community.
Hopefully now with a clearer picture of my struggle, you might be able to think of ways you can help.
Thank you for taking the time to listen, really means the world to me.
also, i haven’t put up music as i almost always do here for a few days now, so…..
*plays “Creeping Shadows” from Bleach Best Songs CD on hacked muzak*
Psi Baka Onna
To be honest, a lot of what you’re saying here is why I’ve been reluctant to chase up my own diagnosis. I know I need to talk to a professional about my problems with sensory overload and anxiety, plus a few things that may be indicators for adhd if I’m really honest with myself, but I am worried for what it means for my work life. But the thing is that I’ve been called weird, talked down to and infantilised to some extent all my life without ever really knowing why. If I’m going to be treated that way anyway, maybe knowing the reason might be helpful and could grant me the help I need to properly address some of this stuff? Even if it’s just knowing that I am indeed neurodivergent and that’s the reason people aren’t really understanding what I’m trying to communicate? Does that make sense?
asmodai27
I absolutely HATE it when people out there say things like “autistic people are more likely to be into STEM as a result of autism”
And you have every right to!
For one, though ““autistic people are more likely to be into STEM” may of may not be statistically true (and with the way we diagnose it, I highly doubt that statistic would be scientifically relevant), it is important for everyone to understand that statistics mean nothing to an individual.
And then, the even more problematic part: “as a result of autism” is completely irrelevant to that statistic. We have no way (as of today) to know whether there is any link.
Masumi
I wonder, have you tried meditation? I think that’s helped me a lot, kinda both understanding my own workings better, and also rely much less on other people’s opinions on me. Or maybe that second part is a good portion of ‘running out of fucks to give’ that just happened over time, I’m not sure…
Eeeh, I have no clue if my random tidbits are in any way helpful. You just remind me of past me in some aspects, so my first impulse is sharing stuff I came across and found helpful. If it annoys you I’ll stop ^^
The Wellerman
No worries, thank you for the effort, I appreciate it. ?
But for me this struggle is like…. how do I put this? Maybe a helpful analogue….
I like being gender-fluid. I love it. I flow through and get the best of so many gender-worlds, genders that don’t even have names yet!
I can feel more fem fem one day and more femslick the next, genderless the on another, and so on and so on.
I like how there exists a word for this way I am, how people in an instant can read that word and know I can flow through all kinds of genders with no way to tell which one I might be next, no assuming it, that word makes it so easy to see so many other people out there who are also like this, people who also feel they shouldn’t be tied down to any one pre-existing gender category, having a word that just helps us connect, that validates us!
But “genderfluid” as a word did not always exist. As much as I am very grateful for having this widely recognized, valid word for this part of myself on this day and age, it makes me feel also very sad for the genderfluid individuals who existed before it.
What was it like for genderfluid individuals like me in the past before “gender-fluid” became a valid thing? How did it feel to be forced to shove yourself into a category that just didn’t fit you, just to be recognized? It must have been awful, just not having a word to validate an important part of yourself, not being able to find others like this.
I’m just so grateful that I have this word to express this part of myself and connect with others on it today, also one for how I’m sexually fluid, yay!!!
Same for my neurodivergence. I can feel like the various combinations that “”autism”” could mean one day, “ADHD” the next, neurodivergences that don’t have names yet!
But like, where’s the word for that? What’s a thing I could say with a compound word where this is a valid, recognized way of being, one that I and others like me could connect on?
Allandrel
How we self-identiy is important and valid. I may proudly identify as “autistic,” and loathe “person with autism,” but I strongly support others’ right to identify differently.
How does “on the spectrum” feel to you?
The Wellerman
Thank you too for trying to help, much appreciated, too.
But sorry, no, still feels like a target on my back, and really doesn’t help that Autism Speaks and greedy media corporations pretty much own that, too. *sigh* ?
Also “everyone is on the spectrum to some degree”, so…. ?
So too much tangled in with condescending “compassion”, you know?
Allandrel
I do. The “everyone is on the spectrum to some degree” is just so aggravating, along with the supposed complement “Oh, you don’t act autistic at all!” That one is practically “You are a credit to your people.”
The Wellerman
OMG Right?!?!?!
Like, the think I wanna highlight here is, “autism” the way it is used by people out there, in that “you don’t act autistic” and the “autism” here, might not be different words, but they might as well be.
And this is by no means exclusive to neurodivergence, either. You take a person from Harrison, Arkansas and one from Santa Cruz, California, and both say “freedom” or “peace” or “social order”.
They may not be using different words, but they mean different things. It’s like they’re both technically speaking “English”, yes, but they might as well be different languages.
And interestingly enough, many MANY languages around the world, languages spoken by nations next to each other, especially in places like Western Europe (just off the top of my head) use a lot of the same words and grammar but INSIST on calling each other different languages because of key political differences, very important differences.
Really interesting how humans and communication work like that, and very much worth noting on a multi-cultural frontier.
Now, if I notice something really important about human communication like that, am I suddenly more or less “”autistic”” or “”neurodivergent””?
If you can recognize the fundamental obstacles to answering that question, you are already shattering the grand illusion that keeps the powerful in power.
Hopefully you know now. And knowing is half the battle.
Mr D phone posting
I usually self identify as a Sperg.
Regalli
If you’re up for advice butting in, I do have a couple recommendations:
One’s comparatively easy, or at least short-term: Try and recognize when you need to bow out of the comments for the day or the rest of a scene. Doesn’t have to be because it’s touching a sore spot, sometimes I just drop because I know I’ll get involved all day if I don’t stop here, or because I can tell I’m getting too riled up about something trivial and need a cooldown period. (Do not overthink the ethics of Secret College Dorm Iguanas.) There’s also some weeks where I know I shouldn’t comment even if the subject’s innocuous because I KNOW I’m too emotionally worked up from IRL stuff to not spiral if I do post. (And sometimes I just don’t have anything to say. At least as frequent! But since I do use this comments section semi-socially I try and keep an eye on myself.) Figuring out the line is tricky, especially since it changes and some days I AM game to spend all day in DoA mode or suddenly have way less mental wherewithal than I thought, and I’ve definitely screwed up before, but it’s a learning process. Goal is to catch yourself sooner the second time, and sooner still the third. And then maybe on the fourth you don’t catch it until way later, but hey, it happens to the best of us. Try again with the fifth.
Longer term and requires putting yourself out there, but still doable so long as you have internet and privacy: I also think it’s probably worth looking into broader neurodivergent communities, for the ‘I wish I could call myself autistic without being so afraid’ aspect you mentioned downthread and general support. Unfortunately, medically-sanctioned child abuse is not unheard of in ‘treatments’ for autism. But that means there are other people who’ve come out the other side, and there are spaces specifically for talking about that kind of trauma. Plus, it tends to be restorative just finding a space where other people are on your same wavelength and comfortable with themselves. I know Reddit has some dedicated subreddits on the topic that are likely good resources, and if you check the right tags you can find communities of actual neurodivergent and autistic people on most of the other major social media sites. (Actually Autistic has cross-platform appeal, and I suspect Actually ADHD would exist by now as well. CripTheVote on Twitter is a more general disability activism tag and explicitly political – and US-based unless I’m HUGELY mistaken, general note – but it might give you an idea of people to follow. Neurodivergent or related words will get you better hits than ‘autism’ or ‘ADHD’ on their own but I can’t speak to that for sure. The other ones I know of off the top of my head at 2 AM are for physical disability and chronic illness, so not necessarily where I’d recommend for pure neurodivergence stuff.) One of the reasons I attend Disability Day of Mourning is that, as horrible as the reason behind it is, I still take some strength in being at a vigil and being able to grieve collectively with people who I know Get It in a space where I feel no pressure to mask (in the metaphorical sense. Still masking in the physical COVID sense. Plus no one can see your facial expression in one, win.) And I also attend less traumatic events which are more straightforwardly restorative. You don’t realize how freeing it is to not have to clap until you’re in a room where the norm is Jazz Hands of Acknowledgement instead, or where people are casually bringing stim toys or you can play a low-thought game while you talk. All of which occur in physical space, but I wouldn’t keep hanging out around here if I DIDN’T have other people who also like the Long Wordy Comment style to bounce off of.
If you have access and opportunity it also DEFINITELY sounds like something a trauma-informed, neurodiversity-positive therapist would benefit, but that’s a big if which is why I list it last. Money, proximity, the ability to do so in a safe environment, actually finding one with those specialties who you also click with… tricky to say the least, especially when the trauma INCLUDES past therapy. But if you can find that unicorn of a therapist, it really sounds like something you’d benefit from as well. Note for the future if nothing else.
Vanessa
Oh Sarah knows mean-spirited. Of course I still love her.
Vanessa
When is Dina going to realize how hateful Becky is to Joyce and Dorothy?
And actually I love these matching awkward secrets.
Thag Simmons
Hateful isn’t the word I’d use, I don’t think there’s any malice there.
Archieve
It’s passive aggression, usually done with an “I’m just joking” tone.
Throwatron
It’s probably, you know, her one valid defense mechanism she was able to use, for her whole life, to take power away from her constant abuse and mistreatment? I bet her Mom was the same way. You can’t fight back, you can say what you mean, because other peoples’ emotions and the social cohesion naturally trump your wants and needs, in every situation, as a Good Christian Woman. But, you can bury your venting, and your own fishing for your needs to be heard, in layers of irascible snark, if you’re not too direct about it.
jeffepp
Yeah, it’s more…
Imagine that everything you think and feel might get you punished. So, you pretend to think and feel different things, publicly. And, just to make sure, you exaggerate. You clown around, act over the top. And, you’ve done it all you life.
Then, you don’t have to hide. But you’ve spent so long clowning, and making misdirecting jokes, you don’t know how to not do it. The sass has become a part of Becky.
Sirksome
It can get a little hateful. Especially a few recent burns on Dorothy that cut more than their performative rivalry warrants. I still remember her stating Dorothy had no personality and could afford to be a bit more selfish just to make herself more interesting, while also doubling down on how unapologetic she was in her own characters flaws. That was harsh.
Vanessa
Yes, agree, Becky is due to learn a lesson herself. Joyce has been hit upside the head with a lot of lessons just recently and it would be nice to see some sympathy for her. I can see why Joyce is afraid to give Becky more ammunition to hit her in a very new, tender spot but I hope Becky would have a realization that’s she’s been using her Joyce as both a life-preserver and a punching bag.
Ladymissfit
Joyce needs to put up boundaries. Backy can be a good friend and often is. She just goes too far a lot of the time without realizing it. She needs to tone it way down but probably don’t get that unless joyce tells her how it makes her actually feel but she just bottles everything up and pretends its fine.
Mturtle7
“both a life-preserver and a punching bag” is a very apt metaphor for this kind of toxic friend dynamic. Nicely done.
Throwatron
I think it’s helpful to remember that Becky’s internal experience, though not existing in the same particularly neuroses as Joyce, is absolutely benchmarked to her own constantly-looming internal sense of “everything about me is irreparably wrong, and everything I’ve ever experienced has come with the constant subtext of my eventual, eternal damnation.” Her fucking dad tried to kidnap her at gunpoint, for fuck’s sake. Every time she even hears herself think or feel anything, she hears that internalized harsh criticism, which comes naturally from her kind of extended, endless systemic trauma.
What I’m saying is, her practical concept for how harsh a criticism can be, is pretty out-of-whack with normies. Every expectation which has ever been foisted upon her, by others or by herself, carries that innate subtext of “you are completely, utterly wrong, and it’s your fault, and your responsibility to fix.” It’s no wonder she can’t get that exactly right, when she comes at criticism, itself, from the perspective of ingrained self-hatred. Her flippantness is supposed to soften the blow, but she seriously over-estimates how softened any given blow can get, because she’s used to huge amounts of persistent emotional abuse being treated as completely normal social interactions, and crucially, ones which her inadequacy is naturally and rightfully responsible for her to be receiving.
Nono
Becky also is aware that she’s been know to overstep her performative rivalry role and needs to ‘get her likability quotient back up’.
I think she’s lucky that Dorothy is a relative pushover, because most of Becky’s best relationships are with people that don’t really fight back hard – Joyce, Dorothy, Dina.
Ladymissfit
Tbf, dorothy fights back by being nicebsck, completely disarming her from ammunition to use.
Nono
That is a fair point, Becky mostly copes by being defensive and snarky, similar to Walky. Or Carla. Or Jennifer. Or Malaya.
There’s a lot of them in this comic, that’s all.
thejeff
But also, I suspect, disarming Becky’s gauge for knowing when she’s going too far. If she’s actually doing it performatively as a friendly rivalry, I’d expect her to be watching for signs of pushback or of actual hurt from it to know when to dial back. Since she doesn’t get them, at least in a form she recognizes, it must all be fine and she can keep doing it.
But yeah, very definitely a coping mechanism for all her long term trauma. It’s a problem, but it’s a long way from “hateful”.
Sirksome
Becky makes fun of Joyce, Joyce makes fun of Becky, is that really their relationship? I think that’s a bit pessimistic but this is a Sarah take.
Nono
Has… Joyce ever made fun of Becky?
Kyrik Michalowski
Technically, she did so when making fun of religion with Liz.
RassilonTDavros
I mean, she wasn’t really making fun of Becky specifically. I know there’s been debate on whether she was specifically making fun of herself (that is, the person she used to be) or of Christians/Christianity in general, but honestly I don’t think anyone would be interpreting it as an insult to Becky in particular if she hadn’t entered the room at the worst possible time.
Ladymissfit
It’s mostly the way joyce stood her ground that turned it into more outright hatefulness. It probably started as venting about herself but once becky began questioning about what it meant it quickly turned to joyce being fairly inconsiderate towards anyone with religious beliefs, becky included and it only spiraled from there.
Joyfulldreams
Becky barged in and decided to make Joyce’s crisis of faith all about herself, and quite frankly, all Joyce really did was respond in kind. It didn’t need to be about Becky, or Becky’s mom, or Becky’s faith, but Becky is the one who decided it needed to be about all of those things, so that’s what it became.
june gloom
Oh this again. No, Becky violated her privacy and threw a tantrum because she heard things that were not meant for her ears.
Joyce needs better friends in general, but Becky is by far the worst.
Needfuldoer
Joyce was attacking a strawman of the kind of person she used to be, and inadvertently cast a wide net Becky got caught in.
(Becky was only there because she tracked Joyce down and Kramered into a conversation she wasn’t part of, but still…)
Ladymissfit
Yeah pretty much
alongcameaspider
Depending on who you ask she was making fun of Becky during the incident where she was outed as an Atheist
Vanessa
She wasn’t directly insulting Becky though, even if she was working through issues where she might have directly confronted Becky if she had more confidence in her own eloquence.
Imogen
OOooooh. I wonder if Joyce “making fun of Becky”, indirectly, has anything to do with Becky constantly teasing her and a part of Joyce not really liking it? Hm.
I do really like the current arc of “Joyce is actually a little burned out on being everyone’s cute little joke”. It actually reminds me a lot of my issues with Dina-style representation–Joyce is an in-universe “quaint autistic” whose habits are seen as funny and charming, but not necessarily respected as those of a normal human being.
Lion
Hm, if you don’t mind, I would like clarification on one point: when you use Dina as an example of this kind of representation, does this mistreatment have to remain uninterrogated by the narrative for it to count, or no? The reason I ask is that just about every instance I can recall of her being infantilized by other characters for her autistic traits is *immediately* called out: Sarah angrily comes to her defense when Raidah assumes she’s mentally challenged, Dina angrily calls out her friends for saying that it was weird for Becky to like her because she “looks and acts like she’s 12,” and both Becky and Dina call out Robin for describing her as “That frightening dinosaur child.” If this trope is meant to describe narratives where such harmful views *aren’t* examined, then I’m not sure Dina qualifies despite being named as the prime example of said trope. I may well have misinterpreted some aspect of your argument, though.
Taffy
When you say Sarah “angrily comes to her defense”, are you referring to her beating Raidah to a bloody pulp with the mannequin arm? That’s a little more than coming to somebody’s defense, innit?
Sombrero
Dunno, it looks like proportionated response to me. Extracting her heart and eating it, on the other hand…
Taffy
Maybe I’m being a little sensitive about the arm thing because my bio-father died in a horrific freak mannequin accident when I were only a wee lass, but yeah the heart thing was a bit much even for the tougher among us. And after poor Raidah offered to buy everyone ice cream and all.
Imogen
Oh, I actually think the NARRATIVE treats Dina that way. I can’t remember the last time she’s been allowed to just be a flawed person and not some sort of idealized autistic savant.
StClair
I’d say she was making fun of everyone “dumb” enough to believe in all of that, her own past self first among them.
(her motive being equal parts “scoring points with her cool new friend” and lashing out at who she used to be and those she blames for making her that way.)
Nono
Oh, WHEW, yesterday’s tension diffused.
Taffy
Now we can start some brand-new tension today. And then again 24 hours from now. And every night after that.
thejeff
Or we can just dredge up past tension and argue about who’s the monster in the Joyce/Becky fight.
Azhrei Vep
To paraphrase Repercussions of Evil, “No, comments section, you are the monsters.”
Azhrei Vep
And then the comments were zombies.
Needfuldoer
Yeah, it wasn’t Dina getting mad at Joyce specifically, it was Dina getting mad at a system that puts her at a disadvantage through no fault of her own and Joyce was ‘Exhibit A’.
Like I said yesterday, her words and implied emphasis made her dialogue come across more pointed than she probably intended.
C.T. Phipps
Sarah: Becky makes fun of you and is a bad friend, you stupid dumbass.
Doctor_Who
Also Sarah: What? I never claimed to be a good friend.
Nono
Sarah is a big sister, she’s never claimed to be a friend.
Sombrero