118

Legitimate
Posted on May 10, 2011 by David M Willis

118 thoughts on “Legitimate”

  1. G.S.Mercs

    Well you see, when one pair of scissors loves another pair of scissors…

    1. Dr. Alex Horrible

      You get sharper scissors, and a more effective cut through paper, or what-have-you.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      They rub over each others blades, causing random chip marks to appear, thus damaging them both, resulting in throwiung away said scissors.

      Love Is Cruel Sometimes.

  2. Dedlok

    HA! Scissoring. I love it.

  3. Ragnal

    HA HA. Visual pun.

    1. Vert

      That better have been in Phil Ken Sebbin/Steven Colbert’s voice, because that’s certainly how I read it.

  4. addude

    What’s Dorothy’s major in this universe?

    1. George

      Lesbians?

      1. Doctor_Who

        My university didn’t offer that. 🙁

        1. skies

          Mine did. It was called Gender Studies :B

        2. Broughtlight

          Beat it. Feminism, Gender, and Sexuality Studies.

        3. Dr. Alex Horrible

          Sororities.

        4. tahrey

          UNFILTERED INTERNET! Ultimate trump!

          …oh, er… um… hi there?

        5. tahrey

          Wow, Joyce, really? That’s possibly the least appropriate of all possible random avatars the system could have given me. Apart from maybe some alternate universe black cyclops version.

        6. Dr. Alex Horrible

          That’s not the real Joyce!

        7. Rowen Morland

          Anti-Joyce!

        8. Zippy

          What?

        9. Plasma Mongoose

          @Zippy: Who is that supposed to be in your grava? Joyci La Forge?

  5. Gnoka

    It’s not like you haven’t been dropping hints left and right Daisy.

  6. JK9000

    I’m not an expert, but I don’t think that’s how scissoring works.

  7. Darth Shadow

    I lost it at the scissors. Good show, Walky.

  8. Cholma

    Daisy’s a Scissor Sister? ;p

    1. Brendan

      Invisible light! Ah-ah!

  9. Wackd

    Wow.

    A lesbian version of J. Jonah Jameson. Well, Jameson in reverse, I guess. Maybe. On the one hand–completely disregarding superhero news. On the other hand, just printing what sells.

    A zig-zagging lesbian J. Jonah Jameson.

    Still awesome.

    1. milk experiment

      Thanks to you, I now hear J.K. Simmons’s voice for all of Daisy’s speech balloons. 😛

      1. Jules

        “I need a girlfriend, and combustible lemons.”

        1. murrkitteh

          Ten Internets i have bestowed upon you, and your mother with my penis.

      2. daughterofthestars

        Simmons is cast to play the main character’s teacher in “Avatar: The Legend of Korra” which is an animated show. I’m pretty excited about this.

    2. Thomas

      She’ll never guess that Dorothy is actually Amazi-Girl! 😛

      1. Zem

        Oh my god I haven’t even thought of that. Of course she’d be wanting that job. And that’s why she is so successful at it. And they have the same head shape. And no-one has yet seen them together.

        1. Zem

          Talking of which. Could Dorothy and Amber be the same person?

          Consider the only panel where they are seen together.
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/04-the-bechdel-test/swap/

          Mark the use of the words “companion” and “swap”. Obviously Dorothy is Amber’s Tyleresque alter-ego. At some point during the next chapter she’ll be found trying to take a picture of Amazi-girl while wearing the costume herself.

          It’s gonna be amazingly tragic.

      2. calendarman27

        “that amazigirl is a menace, now get me some photos of her! and if possible make them involve scissoring in some fashion!”

    3. Undrave

      I think it could get screwier, she could become a composite of Lois Lane and JJ!

      “Get me pictures of Amazi-Girl! Hot sweaty pictures with battle damaged costume!”

    4. taekwondogirl

      Except JJJ seems almost asexual and is more concerned with a scoop on a masked vigilante. So they’re kind of opposites. :p

  10. Kittfox

    Ah that last panel just makes it <3

  11. arjay2813

    super hard to figure out the punchline for this one

    1. milk experiment

      Something to do with arts and crafts, maybe? Yeah, that’s probably it.

      1. Dr. Alex Horrible

        Totally.

    2. Dave

      Scissoring is a slang term for a particular form of lesbian sexual activity.

      1. Dr. Alex Horrible

        Lies. It’s definitely macaroni sculptures.

  12. A. Colunga

    Paper lets Rock watch for $15 through a hole in the wall.

    1. The Sound Defense

      This comment gets a thumbs-up.

      (b’_’)b

      1. BMeph

        And for a nickel, your mom gets a thumb up.

        (…the thumb is my penis.)

  13. ZARDIS

    well played, willis

  14. Cyth

    Oh Dorothy, I can sadly sympathize with you as of late.

  15. Plasma Mongoose

    I hope she doesn’t start running around with those things… someone can lose an eye.

    1. Dr. Alex Horrible

      faaaace? x_0

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Exactly!

        1. CWR

          Ask yourself where was the last place you saw the eye – try to retrace your steps. I find it helps to put frequently lost items in the same place every day.

        2. Dr. Alex Horrible

          Yeah, faaaces should be kept in one place, which should form a habit, and help you remember where you left it.

  16. The Portmanterrific Frogboy

    Now, if she was a vigilesbian, then Daisy might be interested.

    1. lord of dance

      vigilesbian- one who performs unauthorized and illegal lesbian acts on alleged homophobes.

  17. Janette

    Last panel is the best thing I’ve seen lately.

    1. CWR

      Facetious remark about the internet.

  18. Shift

    So rather than put effort into investigating a rumor that has been confirmed and seen by multiple sources, she instead is only interested in a sex video. Where did Daisy learn journalism from? TMZ or the National Enquirer?

    It’s not exactly hearsay if you have an entire floor of girls who can corroborate a sighting of Amazi-Girl, and considering the surplus of smart phones, probably got video-phone evidence of Billie being saved.

    And an because I need to get it out of my system…

    Mrs. Garrison: Oh scissor me Alison! Scissor me!

    1. XLR

      I NEARLY PURGED THE MR. GARRISON THING FROM MY MIND.

      almost. It was nearly gone. and you brought it back.

      DANM YOU WILLIS!

      …oh wait….

      DANM YOU SHIFT!

      1. Chester Sellars

        SCISSOR ME TIMBERS

        1. meanderling

          +1 internets!

    2. Makkabee

      “Where did Daisy learn journalism from?”

      Hustler.

      1. Lesharo

        “Dear ‘Penthouse’ Forum…”

  19. Matt of Steel

    So … when playing Rock, Paper, Scissors …. and both people throw scissors … hmmm.

    Unless she just has a metal on metal fetish.

  20. Whowhatnow

    So, do you guys think Daisy’s gonna be straight in this universe?

    1. shoeboxjeddy

      As straight as Ethan. And Ultracar.

      1. kagato23

        What is this bs? Again guys?

        Look. Dorothy is obviously gay. Anybody can see that.

        Now Ethan is obviously straight. At least we can assume so until the author says otherwise.

        1. Dr. Alex Horrible

          You’re not well-read on the continuity of the Walkyverse are you?

        2. Windy

          The amount of sarcasm and counter-sarcasm here is burning my mind! Just to be on the safe side: The author already said Ethan was gay. Now if you’ll excuse me I need some burn cream.

        3. Haituri

          As an aside, have you ever heard the 60s(?) song “Windy”? It’s pretty hilarious:

          “Who’s bending down to give me a rainbow?
          Everyone knows it’s WINDY!”

        4. BMeph

          For a nickle, I’ll give you some “burn cream.”

          …on your FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

  21. goatman95111

    Aww… Daisy is just denying her superheroine fetish, especially if Amzi-Girl’s costume is based on Batman & Robin.

    1. Lesharo

      I think we would have noticed by now if it was…

  22. DrDVD

    they should practice safe scissoring, with safety scissors 😀

    1. Romanticide

      This 😀

    2. Dark_T_Zeratul

      That is so much more hilarious with the Amazigirl avatar.

  23. Voodoo_curse

    Wait, the blonde is gay? that’s Ethan, right?

    1. Danielle

      No thats Daniel I think . Ethan has dark hair

      1. Dr. Alex Horrible

        Mike is the blond. Your avatar, Voodoo, is Ethan. Danny has brown hair.

        1. taekwondogirl

          The only thing you’re horrible at is picking up sarcasm.

        2. Voodoo_curse

          I picked up your moms femurs for a nickel with my penis in her faaaaaaaceee. DYW!

        3. taekwondogirl

          So what you’re saying is my mom boned you and you paid her for it.

    2. Zem

      We should switch to the “only Ethan is gay” jokes now.

      Willis said so in the News! It is Ethan who is gay, not Daisy!

  24. Plasma Mongoose

    Daisy is in desperate need of a good lay; my question is; Will Amber find herself waking up with Daist in her bed?

    1. Bekah

      That would be awesome.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I noticed a recurring theme in SP! where Amber either getting kissed by another girl or waking up with a girl in bed with her and I figured that the same is likely to happen in DoA as well.

    2. Haituri

      I think perhaps… naaah, I won’t say, ’cause if it does happen it’d be such a spoiler

  25. Lamer Namer

    She needs to be careful with those scissors or she’ll get a cut.

    On her FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

    1. Dr. Alex Horrible

      Medical bills cost more than a nickel. Though cuts to the face aren’t as expensive as broken femurs.

    2. Jackson

      It was only a matter of time. I knew it.

  26. L-

    Does Malaya exist in this universe, I wonder?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      If she exists then Blanka Ken should exist too.

      1. Tanner Kay

        You mean Rufus?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Of cause I meant Guile, who else would I be talking about.

  27. Dahlia

    O.e;;;;;;; *backs away slowly….very slowly*

  28. quietdevious1

    *tsk* Gonna have dull scissors if you keep doing that…

  29. CWR

    The death panels, silly.

    1. CWR

      This was a reply to something that is now…gone. Lord I look a fool.

  30. Jackson

    Norstein Bekkler says: “Is it THAT obvious?”

  31. ziggy78eog

    Just a lucky guess, I swear!

  32. sarpiedon

    so how many lesbians does it take to make a web comic?

    1. Zem

      All of them?

    2. L-

      The more the better, obviously. 😛

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      As many as it takes to screw in a lightbulb.

      1. boogily

        “How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbul–” “THAT’S NOT FUNNY!”

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Your Grav’s angry face makes your comment that much funnier.

  33. Joebo

    That was dirty!

    1. Dr. Alex Horrible

      Your avatar is so amazing with that line.

  34. Zem

    What? She admits it?

    I was going to make fun of it for another 10-12 pages! That’s…cheating!

    :p

  35. Loki

    I’m guessing the shipping between these two went on an uptick today.

  36. Roborat

    Loved that last panel. Even a pair of left handed scissors, nice touch.

  37. Kelsey

    SHE WAS BEING SO SUBTLE ABOUT IT, TOO!

    1. Engelfire

      I know, right?

  38. Sporkaganza

    The last panel is basically the best thing ever.

  39. nothri

    Ahh, yes, scissoring. For those occasions when fixing things with your penis won’t work for obvious reasons, and you don’t want to use your FAAAAACE.

  40. Orbit the World

    Daisy and Robin sitting in a bush….

    *Insert end of joke containing words ‘mom’ and ‘nickel’ here*

  41. rabidfaneater

    the last panel is amazing

  42. bee menardi

    lesbians don’t “scissor,” just so you know.

    1. Ry

      Indeed. The correct term for it is actually called “tribadism”. Everyone should be more familiar with the correct terminology for their preferred sex acts. That they perform. Frequently.

      When will people learn?

  43. Jenny Creed

    Thompson’s scissors: The only scissors strong enough to cut other scissors!

  44. DarkoNeko

    Just a hunch

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