256

Less
Posted on April 5, 2014 by David M Willis

256 thoughts on “Less”

  1. Jen Aside

    It’s like SEX

    1. Doctor_Who

      BETTER.

      1. Yotomoe

        Because Walky is involved.

        1. Tunaro

          3some!

        2. newllend

          Fingers crossed.

        3. Psycho

          The only DOA ship I need!

        4. Drunken Nordmann

          So – how do we call it?

        5. gka

          “President Dorothy?”

        6. DapperA

          And Her Harem. Conveniently, also the name of the White House Band, after the landslide election of Dorothy on the “CHECK OUT MY HAREM AND GOOD GRADES” ticket.

        7. Psycho

          “Caramel and Marshmallows” Whomever agrees with this ship name, say I.

        8. Kryss LaBryn

          S’mores? Kinda?

        9. Dante

          I!

      2. KingMabel

        SEX times 2?

        1. JustCheetoDust

          sexˢᵉˣ

        2. ninja_jesus

          SEX SQUARED

        3. Jen Aside

          That was sex to the SEXTH POWER

        4. Opus the Poet

          +1

      3. JA

        How can sex be better than sex?

        1. JustCheetoDust

          Exactly.

        2. 4th Dimension

          Sexactly

        3. Gordon Blvd

          THIS!

        4. Joe

          Infinite recursion! It’s sex all the way down.

        5. Cheryl

          OMG! YUSS TO YOUR REFERENCE!!

        6. Allcool-dontcare

          An orgy?

        7. Opus the Poet

          When it’s a threesome with two other people you love. Had to change my grave from Joke to Information for this one so people know I’m Being Serious Here.

      4. Wonder Wig

        IT FEELS LIKE HOW BACON TASTES

        1. NaughtbutaHoax

          Greasy, savory, often a little salty, and with a hint of char (if done correctly)?

          …hm… yeah, sounds about right.

        2. Big Doni Z

          AGREED!!!

    2. LiaHansen

      Okay, I don’t understand how Sodium Ethyl Xanthate comes into play in pre marital hanky-panky, but I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it.

    3. Ivan

      What’s it like? (wink wink! nudge nudge!)

      1. LWS

        Is your wife a…goer…eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Say no more…know what I mean?

      2. Rosie

        Say no more! Say no more! A nudge is as good as a wink to a blind bat! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdT-ZErIFRQ

      3. bibulb

        I was just going to say – this went from being a great Python sketch-ender to a rather poignant moment.

        (Also, Dorothy, just a hint : remember to use the word “caramel” when describing it to Joyce.)

      4. Roborat

        So I see I was not the only one to think of the Monty Python bit. My mind placed Eric Idle’s face over Joyce’s in the last panel.

    4. Yet-One-More-Idiot

      I think that part of Joyce really wants to watch Dorothy and Walky make a sex sometimes. 😀

  2. David Herbert

    Well you don’t normally rub his junk on your tummy.

    1. Jay Eff

      You also don’t normally use the word “tummy.”

      1. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

        “Give me all of your thing!” is probably not on anyone’s list of A+ Sexy Phraseology, either.

    2. Yotomoe

      I’m sure there’s some ladies who are into that. And I’m sure there’s plenty of dudes who’d comply.

      1. Hoboturtle

        Actually spent a second to look it up. Got a strange amount links for gay porn and a biography for Tim Allen…

        I am obviously not awake enough to make smart google search decisions.

      2. Walter Leet

        Ethan, you’ve been warned.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      More like inside your tummy.

      1. ninja_jesus

        I think you should see a doctor if that happens.

    4. Hoodiecrow

      “Rub it on my tummy,” Joyce moaned, holding Dorothy close to her naked body.

      “That’s not how it works,” Dorothy whispered, gently caressing her breast. “Wait, well, that’s kind of how it works.”

      1. biggo

        Why am I sweating? O_o

      2. TsunamiJane

        Jesus God, please make this a full thing!

        1. Hoodiecrow

          “The second temptation of Joyce”, in 99 parts, illustrated by Willis. 😉

          (#dontexplainthejoke Should you not get it, look over at Shortpacked!)

  3. Nono

    I foresee awkward in Ethan’s future.

    1. Mr. Random

      You MUST be psychic.

      1. That Damn Rat

        If awkward is the worst thing waiting in Ethan’s future, he can count himself pretty lucky.

    2. Jordan

      No, really? Though how much of it is self-inflicted is yet to be seen.

  4. Pteropine

    I honestly never thought I’d hear those words out of Joyce’s mouth.
    For shame.

    1. Yotomoe

      Joyce really IS getting corrupted by Dotty. HER PARENTS WERE RIGHT. EVERYTHING’S A LIE.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        The heathenism really hits you. 😛

        1. Opus the Poet

          Please, Dorothy is an atheist, not a Heathen. We used to have several Heathens that attended my church until they had job issues and got transferred out of state. Heathen is a very proud Pagan tradition.

        2. The Candyman

          Heathen and church in the same sentence. That’s a new one.

        3. vlademir1

          By traditional definition Dotty is both heathen (being one who doesn’t follow an Abrahamic faith) and pagan (being one who is not Christian). By modern definition, she is neither pagan (she neither follows any Neopagan religion nor any polytheistic religion) nor heathen (specifically being a post-Christian atheist rather than someone from an unconverted tradition and not being of that class of Christians who act in ways that go against the spirit of Christian dogma).

        4. StClair

          And then there’s heretic, which is not the right kind of Christian. (That’s the very worst, because they’re doing it wrong.)

        5. Kryss LaBryn

          Mind you, today “Heathen” also means “Pagan follower of Norse gods except not like how Wiccan followers do it;” there’s actually a surprisingly large difference between the way Wiccans view gods (seeing them as different facets of a single ultimate male or female entity, the way one person can be a wife AND a mother AND a doctor AND a geek) and the way heathens see them (as discrete individuals). So there’s that too.

        6. Lanval

          Um, Heathen in Modern use is more “One who doesn’t follow my religion”. I think you are thinking of an Apostate.

      2. Doctor_Who

        NOTHING IS TRUE. EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED.

        Joyce pulls up the hood on her dress and leaps off the roof into a cart full of plush toys.

        1. Kelly

          I like where this is going!

        2. Shadow12000

          Sexy plush toys, considering the context.

        3. Ben

          Plush sex toys

        4. Thixophobia

          How would that even work?

        5. Jen Aside

          If you have to ask, you don’t wanna know =|

        6. TheCerpent

          Like this.

    2. MissQuinn

      For shame, how dare she give into the natural curiosity that a sheltered girl in her late teens in her first romantic relationship would have! That whore!

    3. Shadow12000

      She has no reason to be against it, she’s just doing what she was told.

  5. Lucas

    Hey, maybe she wants to use the strap-on after all!

    1. Tunaro

      Bring on the fanfics and Slipshine comics!

  6. LiaHansen

    HOLY SHIT IT’S HAPPENING

    1. newllend

      There was a lot of ways she was going to react to this, and most of them ended like this

  7. NCP19

    Let us discuss this…somewhere more private.

    1. Yotomoe

      Let us discuss our privates privately.

      1. Mr. Random

        Do not discuss pubics publicly.

        1. Opus the Poet

          +1 People don’t want to hear that, normally. Of course there’s always Abby. Abby Normal wants to hear everything.

        2. Karfsma778

          Alright, Mel Brooks.

        3. Animal

          Speaking of which – what ever happened to our Blazing Saddles references? What the hell kind of comments section is this, anyway?

        4. Kryss LaBryn

          “Where the white wimmin at?”

  8. Yotomoe

    “It’s kinda like rubbing a thing on your tummy”
    “I KNEW IT!!!”

    1. newllend

      Like in bathroom, again.

  9. Kaprak

    YEs, lead her down a path of darkness. EVIL. FUN.

  10. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

    http://i.imgur.com/g7Mxj5n.png

    1. Bastylos

      I approve of that reaction photo. HANNERS WINS LIFE!

  11. Plasma Mongoose

    Never has a hovertext been so accurate!

    (exactly how your yuri slashfiction starts)

    1. Yotomoe

      I actually had an idea involving Billie and Amber but it’s really dumb. Should I draw it?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Hell yeah!

      2. LiaHansen

        the answer is always yes

      3. newllend

        Please.

      4. The Candyman

        Throw Sal in there too, for good measure.

    2. Yotomoe

      http://i.imgur.com/2HiRcf2.jpg

      Willis, I don’t ask a lot of you. But it’d mean the world to me if you colored/lined this!

      1. Kelly

        Awesome!

      2. saltchocolate

        He won’t do it . . . but it’d be awesome if he did!!!

      3. Leonou

        Perfect !

      4. Plasma Mongoose

        The best kind of duty!

      5. StClair

        “Day of the Meganekko”

      6. Yotomoe

        In the background of panel 3 those two girls are Rose and Rachel, respectively.

      7. The Candyman

        14 year olds?

        1. Yotomoe

          18 year olds.

        2. John

          Dorothy’s 19.

      8. Pro_Ice

        Well, I’m not Willis (and not even any good at drawing), but like that’d stop me!
        Anyway, here’s the colored version: http://i.imgur.com/MnEJ1VN.jpg

  12. VizardJeffhog

    WELL sometimes there’s a strap-on involved…

  13. Khaner

    The corruption has begun.
    Soon, Joyce will be having dong’s in both hands.
    With Willis will make it for slipshine.

    1. Yotomoe

      Slipshine: Joyce sucks like a billion dicks.

      1. Doctor_Who

        I don’t even think Willis is a fast enough artist to draw a billion.

        Although if you did the whole thing in Flash and developed an algorithm for generating the dicks randomly, the sky’s the limit.

      2. Deathjavu

        No, if I remember correctly, that’s about 35 years out.

        (we have to make sure Willis lives that long)

      3. JustCheetoDust

        That reminds me of a Brian Posehn joke about Tara Reid sucking dicks in a row the way a seal plays horns.

    2. Nono

      Wait, as in, is Ethan’s dong so big that Joyce needs two hands for it, or is she holding a dong in each hand?

      Very different implications here.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        It takes two hands to handle a whopper!

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          I remember back when they sold Triple Whoppers. Where are these times now?

        2. Roborat

          All their customers died of massive heart attacks.

    3. newllend

      I dont think so, because if you remember Ethans not interested in having sex( with Joyce).

    4. LiaHansen

      I can’t imagine that happening until at least their sixth week there.

      1. John

        Only five days left ’til she admits she wants to shove her face between Dorothy’s Legos, though.

        1. Khaner

          And her Eggos as well?

    5. fit-to-freak

      Some of these jokes are starting to make me a little uncomfortable? I can’t entirely explain why. I might just be over reacting.
      I’m not trying to single this one out in particular.

  14. newllend

    HA, Joyce:”Its none of my business…. Was it good? Was it Bad? Was is amazing!? YOU GOT TO TELL ME!

  15. Pyr05

    I knew this was coming! Besides, Joyce can’t think LESS of someone she already thinks less of because of her religious views. Right? RIIIGHT?

    1. Heather K

      Joyce doesn’t think less of Dorothy because of her religious views, though

  16. Quatoria

    *blink* Well, THAT was unexpected. Quite a contrast with Joyce from ItsWalky. Wow.

    1. saltchocolate

      I’ve never loved Joyce more! For panels 3 *and* 5!

      1. Leorale

        Right?? I am so proud of her 🙂

  17. Deathjavu

    So much better of a reaction than anyone was expecting.

    I’ll take it.

  18. Next Strip...

    The Yuri Slashfiction Starts

    1. Casey

      More like the yuri slash fiction intensifies

      1. Kelly

        Good avatar for that comment

      2. Big Drahma

        YESSSSSS

      3. NF

        **fictioning intensifies**

    2. Hoboturtle

      Seriously, when did they ever end?

  19. Sensedog

    Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight…

    1. saltchocolate

      Guh! I’m torn between saying how much I love that song and pointing out that it is definitely not afternoon there yet . . .

  20. arank11

    Panel 1: Freak out! Freak out! Freak out!
    Panel 2: Where’s the freak out? Why is there no freak out?
    Panel 3: Really? JOYCE isn’t going to think less of someone for having PMHP? Wow. She’s grown up. Good for her.
    Panel 4: Awkward silence. Seems appropriate
    Panel 5: Brain has a nuclear meltdown from the sheer surprise and awesomeness and OHMIGODWHAT’SGOINGTOHAPPENNEXT?!?!

  21. Kernanator

    It’s your business, until I’m curious. And I’m really curious.

    1. John

      So much curious it’s like two curiouses. A… bi-curious, if you will.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        LIKED!

      2. Kernanator

        Oh, bravo, John, bravo.

  22. Plasma Mongoose

    Now I understand why Joyce wears extra long sleeves, that way she can practice handjobs without having to see her hand on a guy’s dick.

    1. Yotomoe

      Unfortunately it chafes like a mother fucker so she’s more torturing the guys than anything.

      1. Jack Finch

        Could be cashmere, just sayin.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Terry-towelling pretty nice too.

        2. Totally not a murderer in disguise

          You always take things in the direction I wouldn’t think to go. I like that, you can stay.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          YAY! =3

        4. Kelly

          In some percentage of cases the material wouldn’t matter too much. Though in Ethan’s or Joe’s cases it would.

      2. vlademir1

        You are aware, Yotomoe, that there are people for whom that is a kink… right?

  23. caesaria82

    This took a turn I really like. Joyce is like, growing as a person. A+++ character development, there.

  24. Vael

    Oh goodness, Joyce is so adorable I might explode in glitter and rainbows.

  25. That Damn Rat

    Damn it we were promised a meltdown! You Lied to me comments section!

    1. newllend

      Wait wait I got thisJoyce,you can always try it and find out….oh wait a minute

      1. newllend

        Sorry didn’t mean to post this on your comment

  26. alicemacher

    Because someone’s gotta make the reference…

    “Well, you’re a man of the world, right? You’ve been there?”

    “What do you mean?”

    “You’ve done it with a lady–you’ve…slept with a lady.”

    “Yes.”

    “What’s it like?”

    1. Casey

      “Is Walky a goer?”

    2. brionl

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ona-RhLfRfc

    3. Ivan

      Hah! I did up top about 10 minutes before getting this far down the list!

      1. sanddorn

        And now to something completely different …

        1. StClair

          The Larch.

  27. someguywithakatana

    Remember the season 2 finale of Dexter and Monkey Master? “Monkey See, Monkey Flu”?

    … I mean… It wasn’t as good as that, but somewhere between that and “Sunday Slipshine”

    1. luciasar

      YOU TOTALLY CALLED IT.

  28. LiamAldam

    I don’t know how I feel about this. Luckily as far as the Willis method of audience reversal goes, what everyone wants to happen (Joyce having sex) will be diverted for a while.

    1. Tenn

      Eh, she’s had sex in the other universe. I’d prefer that she doesn’t rush into it.

  29. Izumi Ryu

    Now it’s Joyce’s turn to break Dorothy.

  30. Jack Finch

    The talk. Have the talk.

    1. newllend

      What do you think her parents told her when they had to give her the talk or did they just try to avoid it?

      1. JustCheetoDust

        They did what any good Christian parents would do.

        They let Superbook handle it.

    2. KingMabel

      You see when a boy gets a girl really happy by doing something stupid and reckless, they do something stupid and reckless that requires anywhere from 5-60 minutes, some protection and a red bull.

      1. StClair

        … no, they don’t ride the red bull. Look, I’ll start over.

      2. drs

        Joyce is the Last Unicorn.

        1. Rosie

          That would make Walky Schmendrick and Dorothy Molly Grue. That works for me.

  31. The Candyman

    So this is how the threesome starts.

    1. Opus the Poet

      +1

      We have Joyce and Dorothy, so Walky, Ethan, or Joe, or some other penis-owner as the third? Or possibly Billie or Ruth?

      1. The Candyman

        I was thinking Walky, but Joyce seems like an all or nothing person anyway, so if it gets that far she might very well include other people.

  32. sps48

    O_O

  33. GoogerGeiger

    It’s like the feeling of satisfaction you get when you pee after holding it in for a long time multiplied tenfold.

    1. Bill

      An interesting quandary.  How do you put into words the sensation of having sex — or any other intensely personal activity — to someone who has never experienced anything like it?

      GoogerGeiger took a shot at it; it’s going to be interesting to see how other people describe it.

      1. Ivan

        You tell her to find out for herself by using her hands, and finish what she started doing not long after learning to walk.

      2. Kelly

        Can’t be properly described, IMHO. Especially the emotional aspect which really outweighs the physical side. Since supposedly women are supposed to be the ones more into the emotional side, I will say that I am a dude.

        I could say a lot more, as I thought about it a fair bit in the many years before I had sex, but eh.

        1. fit-to-freak

          I don’t think there’s any way to determine how someone considers sex based on gender. There are stereotypes, sure.

    2. Roborat

      Reminds me of that Oglaf comic covering much the same question.

  34. timemonkey

    Wow, it seems I was actually right.

  35. derick

    Is Joyce going from “PMHP makes you a slut” to “PMHP makes you a slut, but it’s okay if Dorothy does it because reasons”? It’s still a terrible thing to believe, but I guess it would be a step in the right direction.

    1. Bastylos

      Maybe she sees Walky and Dotty getting married some day?

      All the other people that she has freaked out about were having unattached sex as far as I can recall.

  36. Jon P

    “No, never of you. Of Walky, never simply because it’d be impossible for me to think of less of him than I already do.”

  37. Idon'tcarenomore

    Wow. Joyce actually is asking about sex? Good for her. She’s growing up.
    If she doesn’t die of embarrassment first.

  38. themaskedpixie

    I’m not sure it’s been said, but I love that Joyce’s hoodie dress is too big, and I get why. It’s the same reason my mother had me constantly in clothes that were too big, it’s the length. If she had bought one that actually fit it would be “too short”. It’s just so fitting to the character, and relatable to me. Great job Willis.

    1. Ivan

      So then, he WAS repressed as well! That’s how he knew!

  39. C.W. Roden

    Its not a sin to be curious darlin….you asked the right question Joyce.

  40. Romanticide

    Joyce stating Dorothy’s pre-marital hanky panky is her own business… my I am feeling really proud of her right now 😀

  41. Bilfred

    Ohh, Joyce revelaing her deep dark secret.

  42. Salmo

    “Never of you. Always of Walky.”

    1. Jackson

      “Of course it’s a double standard! It’s good to have standards! …So double standards must be twice as good!”

  43. SilverArrowArtemis

    This isn’t in the script. *is said with a smile on his face as he hits everything within arms length with a stack of papers*

  44. JoeMerl

    “It was pretty terrible. It’s true what they say, you have to wait for marriage for it to actually be good or special.”

    “…You’re just saying that to make me feel better, aren’t you?”

    “Do you really want me to answer that?”

    “No.”

    1. parkrndl

      I was thinking something to that effect.

  45. Louu

    Oh my god, Joyce is just so adorable here and at the same time I’m so proud of her for not freaking out and Joyyyyyyyce

  46. Tom Speelman

    Awww…but also oh boy, did the stakes just get raised.

  47. Kitschensyngk

    Compared to how Joyce reacted to Joe and Roz, she’s taking this way better than I thought she would.

  48. acher4

    Should the last panel be so cute by design?

    😀

    1. Hoboturtle

      Dunno, I kind of see Dorothy’s mind tick as she tries to process ways to explain sex to Joyce.

  49. Hoboturtle

    Is this a Yuri Fanfic?

    (please say yes)

  50. Hoboturtle

    Is this a Yuri Fanfic?

    (please say yes)

    1. That Damn Rat

      Fanfic, by definition is written by fans, not the original author, it wouldn’t be sporting for Willis to write fanfic of his own characters.

      1. John

        The whole idea of DoA kind of is Willis writing fanfic of his own characters.

  51. Oxyvolt

    The Joyce remains unbroken. You go, girl, getting strong as rock and cute as a basket of kittens wearing little wool jumpers.

    1. StClair

      with extra long sleeves.

    2. David

      That reminds me of this story.

  52. Ancestral Hamster

    I really do like how both girls value their friendship. Dorothy is worried about losing Joyce’s good opinion of her. Their different value systems keep crashing though, so the path is a rocky one. Makes for a good plot though.

  53. CianM1301

    Yeah, Dorothy, we can’t believe it either.

  54. espanolbot

    It begins.

  55. David

    Well, it’s like hanky-panky, only premarital.

    There is a reason religions lay claim to it as a major incentive for their blessing of a union.

    Now it is true that some church leaders (like the late John Paul II) water down their bartering hand by admonishing about lust even in a marriage. And the Puritans from which the European American populace derive to a good degree by blood and traditions are also somewhat squeamish even about marital hanky-panky. But the usual bargain is “do whatever you like in the bedroom as long as you got our blessing for it”.

    So I don’t really see that Joyce is going in the direction “try it premaritally” when curious. But it might make the “try angling for a gay boyfriend and/or husband” angle seem like more of a bad idea.

    Not that she hasn’t already scared him shitless.

  56. Nagash1959

    Hey, loot at that. Personal growth without shooting your clone in the frickin’ face.

  57. zaratustra

    “Well, Joyce, for just $24.95 and a monthly payment of $9.95 you can find out!”

  58. Pjotroos

    Didn’t see it coming. I could be sitting here for a week trying to guess what happens after yesterday and I still wouldn’t see it coming. Love it.

  59. Katosen27

    I was expecting an explosion of ‘PREMARITAL HANKY PANKY!’

    What I received was much more satisfying!

  60. hof1991

    Feels for Joyce. She’s awfully alone. Laughed at and a source of funny stories by her friends. Almost drugged and raped. Of course she values Dorothy – her only real friend, the only one who respects her.

    If she asked her roommate this, it would get laughs and be a funny story.

    Plus Dorothy needs to talk about this. This is getting more serious than she wanted it to. Walky isn’t just a convenient boy-toy, though he would gladly do that.

    I think we are headed for DRAMA ENSUES not HIJINKS ENSUES.

    1. timemonkey

      Billie is also her friend. She’s Billie’s best college friend.

    2. Jack Finch

      I think Walky would be less happy with that than he’d like to believe.

  61. Sir Robin

    I figured Joyce would be asking Walky what it was like to have sex with Dorothy … also, what a strap-on is

  62. The_Master

    If Dorothy’s next words were, “Pre-marital hanky panky is not for everyone” or some such thing about premarital sex came out of her mouth, +20 respect for willis. Not because I advocate such a position, not because I believe waiting is better than not, but because neither side should be pushed on someone.

    1. David M Willis

      Why wouldn’t Dorothy answer Joyce’s question?

      1. Mal

        The only reason I could think of is if Dotty determines that Joyce isn’t mature enough to be responsible when she becomes sexually active.

      2. David

        Is that a trick question?

        Dorothy has her own moral standards and stance. Within that framework, she has decided that premarital hanky-panky is worth more to her than not having it.

        Joyce is her friend and sees her as a role model. However, she has different moral standards and stances. Copying Dorothy’s behavior will not necessarily lead to a net win for her.

        Since Dorothy cares for Joyce and respects her including her standards, she does not want to be the cause of causing Joyce to fall apart.

        So this question makes Dorothy very self-conscious: her actions have effects beyond herself, effects she did not take into account when making her choices.

        An ex girl-friend of mine had been an occasional smoker. I guess that basically she figured that she could accept the damage she did to herself. It was somewhat annoying to her that when she came back later from a party than I did or was on some party alone, that I smelled whether she had been smoking or not when she returned. I don’t remember whether I had mentioned this at some point of time, but at any rate, her mood dropped three notches when she thought I noticed.

        So once on a party of ours, I joined in the smoking. Or tried. “You are just puffing.” Inhale, cough, cough, cough. Somewhat embarrassing. I think it was her cigarette and I handed it back.

        She never smoked again after this party. I prefer to believe that she did not care for turning me into a smoker over believing that she did not care to get embarrassed again over my awkward show of sharing a smoke.

        To come back to your question: my guess would be that Dorothy would try answering Joyce’s question, but she would not have wanted to be asked the question in the first place. Because she’ll feel responsible for the effect the answer might have on Joyce.

        And it is communication. Making Joyce see her through her own eyes requires also seeing herself through Joyce’s eyes when she wants to pick her words carefully.

        At any rate, you have enough of a buffer that what you have chosen will not be swayed by this answer. I suspect you knew most of it by heart anyway.

    2. John

      I, on the other hand, would lose respect, because providing accurate information is not “pushing premarital sex on” anyone, and in any case my own beliefs are irrelevant. I don’t see how it would be in-character for Dorothy to deny Joyce the best information she can muster.

      1. fit-to-freak

        I mean, I wouldn’t lose respect for her because I could understand not knowing how to explain/not feeling like it. But I agree that it’d be out of character for Dorothy.

    3. fit-to-freak

      I mean, yeah it’s not for everyone. But that has nothing to do with Dorothy answering her question. Listening to someone describe sex is the same thing as having it?

  63. Animal

    “Could you say she did first what no one has ever done better and mention plump brown legs, flat belly, hard little breasts, well holding arms, quick searching tongue, the flat eyes, the good taste of mouth, then uncomfortably, tightly, sweetly, moistly, lovely, tightly, achingly, fully, finally, unendingly, never-endingly, never-to-endingly, suddenly ended, the great bird flown like an owl in the twilight, only in daylight in tfe woods and hemlock needles stuck against your belly.”

    Ernest Hemingway, Fathers and Sons, 1933

  64. Mcmindflayer

    Ooh man, Joyce and Walky are sooo getting together.

    Now for reasons that have nothing to do with previous iterations of the characters.

    1. Name 2 other people who have extreme dislike for each other for no reason. Walky and Joyce dislike each other because of religious beliefs, having not gotten to know each other at all. This is generally the beginnings of a romantic subplot. Look at Star Wars with Han Solo and Leia. Much Ado about Nothing with Beatrice and Benadick.

    2. It’s already been shown that Joyce think’s Walky’s hot and Walky pretty much likes any girl who likes Dexter and Monkey Master.

    The way I see it. At some point in the future, Dotty will leave for another college, Walky and Joyce will commiserate over the loss of their primary friend in their life, by watching Dexter and Monkey Master. Boom! Relationship.

  65. halcyon1234

    Well, Joyce, if you really need to knows the details on what sex between Walky and Dorothy is like, there’s an excellent illustrated guide available online for only a few dollars…

    1. The Candyman

      Or just talk to Mike. He probably has pictures.

  66. Tess

    Never of YOU. Walky, yes. XD

  67. -JAD-

    And so Joyce found herself slowly walking towards the edge of the Cragged Shame Pits of the Lustwolves, to see what was in there, and nothing else.

    1. The Candyman

      When you stare into the Cragged Shame Pits of the Lust Wolves, the Cragged Shame Pits of the Lust Wolves stare back at you.

  68. Tealjoy

    I’ll be honest didn’t think that would be the question she’d start off with.

  69. Lizzy

    CHARACTER GROWTH!!ASDFGHJKL;’

  70. Stomphoof

    I just like Dorothy’s face in that last panel. That “WHAT” look.

  71. Nick

    She’ll have to buy a Slipshine subscrition to find out.

    1. Arkadi

      Best comment!

    2. Arkadi

      There’s so much adorableness in those sleeves.

  72. Kas

    Haha, I was just thinking before the comic came up how great it would be if Joyce asked Dorothy what it was like. That said, I’m getting the feels from Joyce’s line “…No. Never of you.” She just has so much respect and love for Dorothy and I can’t handle how sweet it.

  73. maxlines

    Curiosity gets ’em everytime.

  74. ajm5007

    Whoa, hold up here. What kind of a professor/instructor/lecturer/TA hands a graded assignment to someone other than the student to whom it belongs? I would never give one student’s graded work to another student unless specifically asked by the first student to do so.

    1. fit-to-freak

      Yeah, that surprised me too.

    2. Kitty

      I’ve had a few classes where unclaimed assignments are left on a desk so that anyone who comes in late can just grab theirs.

    3. Heavensrun

      Some professors, especially with a larger class size, just pass the stack around and leave it to you to find your own. Joyce might’ve just pulled it from the stack.

  75. Kelli

    How do I get to the alt text whenviewing on a tablet?

    1. The Candyman

      Right to the left of the direction arrows, there’s an invisible icon that you can tap. The alt-text should show up then.

      At least, that’s how I do it.

      1. parkrndl

        Hey, I didn’t know that. Neat trick, thanks!

      2. fit-to-freak

        Oh my god thank you

  76. Raibean

    I once asked my friend what sex was like (specifically, vaginal penetration). She said it was “filling”.

    1. fit-to-freak

      Yeah, that’s one of the adjectives I would use.

  77. Viktoria

    I get the feeling that Dorothy is going to choose to skip a class in order to talk to Joyce about this. It would be a perfect showcase of how much she cares about Joyce’s health.

    And then the class she skips has a surprise exam.

  78. EvergreenFir

    Damn you and your alt text Willis! Quit reading my mind!!!

  79. John Madden

    I knew she would break eventually.

  80. nothri

    “Well Joyce, remember that thing I did to you with my tongue as a ‘thank you’ for sticking up for me in front of your parents? Its kind of like that, except larger and less flexible.”

    What? None of you can prove it didn’t happen off panel. Not while I assume any denial on Willis’ part is just a cunning ruse to throw me off the trail.

    1. Bill

      Ewww.

  81. Lanval

    Part of me secretly suspects that Wally has already begun drawing “Joyce Performs the Lesbian” and looking over the comments section with a maniacal smile as he strokes his money.

    The rest of me knows that this ends in tragedy and Ethan and/or Joyce tears.

  82. Roborat

    So what, she is going to think less of Walky?

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