303

Material
Posted on March 2, 2024 by David M Willis

303 thoughts on “Material”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    prob lots of sweat and stains lol

    (hope he cleans up)

    1. Michael Lanting

      I’m sure he cleans up nicely.

    2. Daniel M Ball

      I think he cleaned up already. Billie just needs to learn how to pick up the tells that ‘he’s not really into you, he likes the dude standing over there.”

  2. NGPZ

    An acceptable loss, apparently.

  3. Animedingo

    She deserves everything she has

    1. Bryy

      It just sucks knowing that her maturing arc is probably going to take five years.

      1. Icalasari

        In DoA time, of course

        1. Allen Alberti

          in real-time, it will coincide with the heat death of the universe.

        2. eh, whatever

          …which will never happen if there’s a Big Rip.

        3. Dafydd

          There’s probably a Big Rip every time Walky eats one of those 50-packs of McNuggets

        4. Miafillene

          *shakes her head…* Is it bad, that I expected this wisecrack? Or that I laughed so hard at it?

        5. Dara

          Perfect icon (for the comment) is perfect

      2. Holly

        To be fair, all the awful parents we’ve seen in this strip never made their maturation arcs. Jennifer, Raidah, and Mary are characters who may grow up to be the next awful parents who did not mature.

        1. davidbreslin101

          …damn, the realism of this strip is BRUTAL.

    2. Daniel M Ball

      That can be said for most people at eighteen. Though truthfully, it would e more accurate to say ‘she doesn’t deserve as much as she has’.

  4. Shitbird

    Get it boys

    1. Bash

      I might have to get Slipshine

      1. Angie

        It’s 1000% worth it.

        1. Taffy

          Although it’s best not to pay for more than a month at a time, since a lot of the comics are either slow to release or frequently on hiatus. Giving them time to build a backlog is ideal, so it won’t feel like they drag as much.

        2. Li

          I kind of agree.

          I will say there’s a lot of content? It’s just mostly not my cup of tea.

          I’m glad the first month when you re-sub is comparatively expensive, because it lowers the guilt I would otherwise feel for subbing every now and then (and then immediately unsubbing) substantially.

          (I forget the exact numbers but it’s something like $15 for the first month, $5 per month after that. SOMETHING like that, so that your first non-free-trial sub pays for a couple months of upkeep on the site / paying the artists even if you drop it immediately.)

  5. Dara

    Delicious

    1. David DeLaney

      appropriate avatar
      is appropriate

    2. NGPZ

      TASTY!

      TASTY!

      TASTY!

  6. DarkoNeko

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA eat dust Jennie

  7. Grayfinity

    Is this a net positive? I feel like this is a net positive.

    1. Thag Simmons

      uhh, that depends on if this is an “i can fix him” or an “i can make him worse” relationship. If Asher helps Ethan remember how to function, net good, if Ethan gets Asher to say “fuck it, nothing matters” somebody might actually die

      1. GholaHalleck

        It looks like Asher is going to try his best to fill that empty space in Ethans’s heart.

        …. With his di-*Is carried off by raccoons*

        1. David DeLaney

          they do say the way to a man’s heart is in through his*RACCOONS*

      2. Rose by Any Other Name

        So if the someone who dies is Asher… are ya still considering that a net positive?

        1. Thag Simmons

          I like Asher enough to hope he manages to successfully become a better non-mob affiliated person, so no, not really

        2. Dante

          Same. I’m here legit crossing my fingers for a Sexy Gay Survival Pact with these two, I want them to thrive (not easily of course, but yeah!)

        3. milu

          yeah they’re gonna have to SWEAT for it =D

        4. Steelbright

          Really also want this sexy gay survival pact to succeed. Getting better in unhealthy ways… What can go wrong?

        5. Mollyscribbles

          [insert ‘le petit morte’ joke here]

      3. Daniel M Ball

        Apathy is a valid option. There is no gravity, the earth sucks is a valid observation (Not accurate, but valid) sometimes saying “Fuck it all” is a valid defense against manipulation by peers, parents, associates and so-called superiors.

    2. anon

      well, assuming asher actually texted her or talked and officially ‘broke up’ as opposed to “i’m going to cheat on you to spite you” (which she might ‘respect’ but still kinda a dick move even if she wouldn’t necessarily feel ‘betrayed’ like most ppl in relationships would feel being cheatedon)

      1. Thomas

        What if… Asher really doesn’t communicate break-ups, because that’s not how you break with the mafia either. What Asher does are silent betrayals. He’ll just fail to show up at Jennifer’s.

      2. Seven

        It’s a weird situation because the last time they were on a strip together, he referred to himself as her “boyfriend” and she had him change the word up, so I’m not entirely sure what their relationship is supposed to be.

        1. adam Black

          Nothing. She strung him along and someone wanted him more.

        2. Mark

          I’d say he’s not entirely sure either, then.

      3. adam Black

        They aren’t exclusive. Jennifer was told the stakes and refused it.

      4. thejeff

        Bit of a meta twist for us all to be focused on the question of Walky cheating “we were on a break” style, but it was actually Asher who went ahead with it, in a similarly ambiguous situation

        1. Adam Black

          and Lucy is in the middle of Both

      5. Tan

        Can’t cheat if you’re not in a relationship, which Jennifer explicitly claims they are not.

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2023/comic/book-14/02-its-the-love-i-havent-got/stockmarket/

        1. NGPZ

          Not sure how explicit that is,

          but good call.

          So, they’re broken up, and Jennifer expects him to crawl back to her as tho he as no alternative.

          Little does she know….

        2. Mark

          sigh Is there some 21st century rule that nobody told to us oldsters, that forbids contemporary SOs to say “I’m sorry, [name], but this isn’t working out. I’m breaking up with you.”

        3. thejeff

          No, and several characters in this strip have explicitly talked about breaking up.
          But Jennifer is unhealthy in multiple ways, many of them linked to relationships, while Lucy is probably just new to the whole thing in practice and doesn’t get that she’s not being clear.

    3. Adam Black

      One Gay Garbage scow ship wasnt enough. Now we are on our way to 3?
      at Least Ethan is getting laid !!

      why do i feel Sal is going to have to rescue Ethan ?

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        Because of paranoia?

  8. TrueVCU

    YESSSSSSSSSSS

    1. Theluxland

      The only right answer

  9. Bittersweet

    Yesssssssssssssssss

    1. TrueVCU

      YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

      1. Dday

        Yes… ha ha ha… YES!

        1. Miafillene

          No. I mean yes, of course, but I had to be THAT person.

        2. Mark

          “‘No’ meaning ‘yes’?”

  10. Coatl

    Darling, if you only knew

    1. Doctor_Who

      Here’s hoping she finds out in the funniest, most ego-puncturing way possible.

      1. Coatl

        some snacks will always complement that moment

      2. Nymphie

        She discovers it as Joyce is proof-reading Amber’s latest slashfic

      3. Cholma

        Wait until she gets back to her dorm room and finds that Asher & Ethan are in HER bunk! :O

        1. Spacie

          And Lucy is watching with popcorn

        2. StClair

          She craves destruction, and they’re gonna give it to her.
          (Right after they finish giving it to each other.)

      4. M!a

        You know perfectly well her ego’s made outta Kevlar.

        1. thejeff

          Jennifer? Join a lesbian suicide pact because she’s so toxic she doesn’t dare touch anyone healthy Jennifer?
          What looks like her ego is a huge brightly painted balloon concealing her self-loathing.

    2. Mturtle7

      …I mean. She DOES already know, at the very least, that Asher once made out with Ethan. He literally just went up and told her immediately after it happened. Her response was basically, “Whatever, I’m too cool to care about whether you’re cheating on me, and you should be too.”

  11. Jeremiah

    I think knowing what he is leaving behind is precisely why he wouldn’t come back for you Jennifer.

    1. Coatl

      It will be interesting how that confident smile abruptly changes.

    2. Jo_cubstar

      Exactly this

    3. Holly

      I’m not so convinced as many people here that Asher is definitely DONE with Jennifer. He might still be trying to give her what she wants (mistreatment, drama, neglect). If he develops a vengeful resentment, he might even start toying with her the way she was with him – especially if that keeps him the attention of Ethan, who only seems interested in this arrangement if it causes drama, also.

  12. DarkoNeko

    Also bad new, he’s dating the boy you held at knife point now.

    1. BarerMender

      Wasn’t that Sal that held Ethan at knife point?

      1. Mturtle7

        I think that’s what DarkoNeko is referring to, yes! Sal in this strip as well, even though Jennifer is getting most of the attention (as is natural, her being such a cool ex-cheerleader and all).

  13. Yumi

    Making NOISES as soon as I saw the last panel, before even reading the strip.

    1. NGPZ

      Pika pi? What kinda noises exactly? Giggles, or more like general “well, I did not expect THAT” kinda noises?

      1. David DeLaney

        prob’ly the kind of noises one makes with that first mouthful of delicious dark chocolate/peanut butter ice cream and or perfectly seasoned chicken pot pie

        –Dave, so the taste equivalent of an earworm is a mouthworm, right

        1. NGPZ

          I think earthlings call that a “craving”?

          Or do you mean when the taste stays in your mouth for quite a bit after you’ve eaten it, as with something like pizza sausage, or mustard?

        2. David DeLaney

          when you suddenly realize you’re thinking about it
          and the taste is in your head

    2. milu

      dogs in a one-mile radius lost their shit

  14. bootshivers

    We’re eating well tonight

  15. Sirksome

    Trading up honestly and it hurts a little to say that but Jen’s fallen that far. Also don’t trust Asher even when he’s escaped a toxic relationship to make out with a slightly less toxic cute emo boy.

    1. Coatl

      I may be exaggerating, but since she joined Raidah, that was already a sign that everything was bad.

  16. Yotomoe

    Listen…I find Jennifer hot as the deep firey pits of hell but I don’t think I could put up with dating her for a minute.

    1. Jo_cubstar

      Agreed.

    2. Jeremiah

      3 hoorays for basic self respect!

      1. Yotomoe

        Oh I don’t respect myself at ALL. I’m just lazy. Dating her sounds EXHAUSTING.

        1. rowanmikaio

          I have never related to any comment in the history of time more than this.

        2. Teddae

          This should be top comment if there ever was one.

        3. Spacie

          That is also the same reason Walky won’t date her.

        4. M!a

          +1, Like, ?? and whatever else

        5. milu

          3 hoorays for basic laziness!

    3. StClair

      This is me and Penny.
      (Either version.)

    4. Mark

      Seconded!

  17. Grimey

    Quick, someone play “Hold On” by En Vogue!

    1. Laura

      Your wish is my Playlist!

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pj9ap3-HVzE

  18. Essex

    oh jennifer, no one needs to “fix themselves” for anyone elses benefit. and even if they did, you are not worth it in any way.

    1. Archieve

      The sad part is it seems like initially they worked because they were both committed to trying to be better but then Jennifer got insecure and decided he was better before his self improvement (smoking, being broody etc) because she no longer felt like she had a cool, non-Walky, boyfriend.

  19. Dot

    What a tryst!

    1. Dara

      Here, you earned it

  20. DiDi

    I don’t condone cheating. But it’s really, really hard for me not to find this satisfying.

    I hope Jennifer’s words mean that she officially broke up with him.

    And yet a dark side of me hopes she didn’t. I just… I want her humbled so fucking bad.

    1. Jeremiah

      I do condone cheating when one party has been treating the other like shit. Breaking up first would be ideal yeah, but I will not pretend to be mad about it.

    2. DailyBrad

      I think they kinda/sorta broke up, at least in so far as I’d call this at worst a grey area. Asher himself seemed unclear on what their relationship was last they interacted.

      1. GholaHalleck

        If it wasn’t cool for Dotty to smooch Walky, it’s not cool for Ethan to smooch Asher.

        It’s like.. 8 times hotter though.

        1. Nymph

          I think both were cool so I’m in the clear!

        2. Archieve

          Unlike with Walky, Jennifer seemed to want to deny that they were a couple last time they interacted and now she is wording it like she broke up with him unless he reverts back to his previous cool self so I don’t think she can expect relationship faithfulness from somebody she’s determined to deny being in a relationship with currently.

        3. adam Black

          That was only true of the first smooch with Ethan.
          He told her. She didn’t affirm exclusivity and here we are. Asher explicitly asked Billy.
          On the other hand, Miss Sunshine saw this in action.

          She knows Billy is stringing Asher along.
          She is copying her and doing the same thing to Walky.
          ( Walky doesn’t know this) . Walky is free.
          Walky feels the need to ask to ask her explicitly like Asher did. She’s specifically playing a childish game where she dumps Walky in public and expects him to chase after her. Without resolving status. Asher has already done that.

          Its not cheating if Walky moves on. Unfortunately I think Walky plays along and she gets back together.

          Walky should have a mini affair with Dorothy teach her how to be garbage. Then get back together with Amber.

      2. Mark

        Thinking that “kinda sorta broken up” is broken up, is a good way to make two people furious and lose both. I’d ask.

        1. Devin

          More in Walky’s case than here I think. I don’t think Ethan particularly cares at this stage.

    3. Felgraf

      I mean… She basically told him “you are not my boyfriend”, and he went “alright” and acted on that.

      There’s really not any definition where thats… Cheating?

      Like. Maybe that’s not what she meant! But his job isn’t to read her mind.

      1. Vegetalssfour

        I thought so too, but I went back to check, and Asher at least thinks he’s still with Jennifer per his comments to Ethan in the first panel here (which happened after his last interaction with her) https://www.dumbingofage.com/2023/comic/book-14/02-its-the-love-i-havent-got/destruction/

      2. Wereg

        Well, Asher himself did say he’s still with Jennifer. To him this is cheating, but IMO Jennifer made it perfectly clear that they weren’t a thing anymore. At least I would have taken it that way.

        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2023/comic/book-14/02-its-the-love-i-havent-got/destruction/

    4. Amelie Wikström

      It’s cheating if you can’t tell your partner about it, so consider:
      If Asher doesn’t tell Jennifer, he’s cheating, but they remain broken up.
      If he does tell, he’s not cheating, but they get back together.

      Jennifer Billingsworth, the Catch-22 drama hurricane.

      1. adam Black

        Nope. It already happened. He told her. He wasn’t cheating. They remained broken up, if seeing each other. At this point he doesn’t owe her explanations of other ppl he dates. Not unless she wants a polycule and he’s dumb enough to accept

    5. Mark

      Is it cheating? What was their expressed relationship status? Do we even know?

      I dated this girl for three years, and we had never even spoken about an exclusive relationship until I proposed. I hadn’t been seeing anyone else in all that time, but was free to if I’d wished to.

      We’ve been married almost half a century now. 🙂

      1. Mark

        She was seeing other guys during that three years. That was okay with me — she hadn’t promised not to and I hadn’t sought exclusivity.

      2. Chubsius

        To quote Jennifer, “kids a billion dudes. I don’t care.” Granted, she puts out some mixed messaging, but on the face of it Asher has express permission.

        1. Taffy

          Your typo gave me the idea that she wants Asher to impregnate (“kids”) 20% of Earth’s dude-style population, as part of a quest to earn her respect.

        2. milu

          either that or become a stand-up superstar with a (somehow???) all-male audience and make jokes at (“kids”) a continent’s worth of dudes.

  21. Lia

    lmao

  22. William

    Ohhhhh this is going to shatter her universe.
    And it’s going to be frickin’ glorious.

    1. clif

      I think you underestimate Jennifer’s ability to lie to herself.

  23. JessWitt

    That’s right Jennifer. Keep telling yourself that.

    1. Mark

      Ah! magical thinking.

      1. JessWitt

        I’m also quoting from Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion.

  24. Opus the Poet

    I’d say he’s leaning hard into the gay side of being bi.
    You be you, Asher. Be the best You you can.

  25. Amós Batista

    God may not exist, but karma is so real.

    1. Dante

      And just like here, it’s always better when given a little push

      1. milu

        right it’s only karma, even in the western sense, when justice just sort of happens by itself.

        this is not that

  26. sakamism

    Lol. Major step up, even with Ethan in the state he’s in

  27. Joe Moose

    Ohhhhhhh boy *fans self*

  28. DailyBrad

    Panel 3 is where I am at. Asher and Jennifer sucked for each other, and while everyone agrees he isn’t losing much by losing Jennifer, I kinda think the same holds true for her, too.

    Relationship was long past its expiration date.

    1. Laura

      Meanwhile Asher and Emo are sucking together in a different kind of way…

    2. Coatl

      Come to think of it, did they really fall in love previously or was it just a suggestion from their new friends because they looked “good together?”

      1. Bash

        For Jennifer it was always about the aesthetics. I think Asher may have had some real feelings, but it’s become clear to him that Jennifer doesn’t return them.

        1. DailyBrad

          Probably not a coincidence that this coincided, yes, with the group trying to pull Walky in, but also with when she started interacting with Ruth again, who she obviously still has very strong feelings for.

      2. M!a

        Status reinforcement. That’s all Billifer ever does; it’s all she’ll ever do.

        1. DailyBrad

          That never factored into what she liked about Ruth, honestly.

          Isn’t me saying that they should get back together, exactly, but it does illustrate a difference between Ruth and Asher when it comes to their place in her heart. One of them has one, and the other, I dunno… not saying she never cared about him, but I am saying she seems pretty over it.

  29. Laura

    Is Sal back to smoking these days, or does she just put the cigarette in her mouth to hold it and pretend? I can’t tell if that’s a puff of smoke or a puff of breath fog on a cold day, coming from her mouth. But the cigarette does not look lighted.

    1. Nymphie

      Jennifer is also exhaling a puff of breath in panel 4, so I would guess its the latter

    2. BBCC

      Sal never didn’t smoke. If you go through her appearances, she’s always smoked.

      1. BBCC

        To answer your other question panel two seems like a puff of breath and panel three looks like actual cigarette smoke.

        1. morleuca

          But it looks like her fingertips are all the way up at the end of the cigarette. If it was lit, she’d have already blistered herself

        2. Holly

          I think they are walking out of the building and Sal is putting the fresh one in her mouth

        3. DailyBrad

          Yeah, she probably just has not lit it yet and has placed it in her mouth.

    3. Laura

      Thank you all for helping me suss that out!

    4. Taffy

      And also here’s a direct example of Sal explicitly smoking, because I wasn’t sure so I checked.

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2022/comic/book-12/04-dont-stop-billie-ving/niceout/

  30. elfroyalty

    y’know what? good for them.

  31. RassilonTDavros

    On my next archive binge I should really keep a tally of how many times Jennifer is hopelessly wrong about something.

    1. GoodbyBallad

      Make sure to count every time she calls herself “super perceptive”. And don’t make a drinking game out of it, you’d destroy your liver.

      1. Holly

        Don’t make a drinking game out of it, you might attract her attention through the 4th wall

    2. M!a

      And yet immune to all consequences.

    3. Emperor Norton II

      Keep a running tally of who is more hopelessly wrong, she or Sarah.

    4. Sol

      I think there’s a strip (pre-timeskip) that kind of calls out Billie for this lmao

  32. Derek

    I am incredibly curious what in the goddamn Billie thinks Asher needs to fix, because he clearly tried adjusting his attitude for her and she hated it so I would be as confused as he is about what the hell she actually wants to happen

    1. anon

      She wanted more “smoky brooder motorcycle”/stereotypical ‘bad boy’ i guess versus someone that’d have a matching outfit/butt taco shirt like walky does

      1. Archieve

        But then when Asher went back to smoking for her she acted like he was trying too hard and walked away. I think what she really wants is someone who fights with her to give her a feeling of bad boy drama along with that toxic edge she had in her last relationship.

        1. Amelie Wikström

          What Jennifer wants is for everyone to see the Billie who lives in her head who’s super cool and does everything better than everyone and knows everyone better than they know themselves and solves all problems and is such a good investigative journalist and writer she saves the newspaper industry and handles toxic relationships and alcoholism with superhuman skill and infinite resilience and who definitely would never love Kit Fisto.

          Though I have no idea what it will take to reconcile herself with the fact this person can’t exist, especially as long as she can put all that inconsistency on Asher being a bad boyfriend who can never do what she wants no matter if he does what she wants or what she says she wants.

        2. Mark

          Well, she did figure out AmaziGirl’s alter ego, and they’re talking right now!

    2. Bash

      She wants somebody who is cool and makes her look good by association. She wanted to effortlessly be too mature for Walky, and Asher gave the exact opposite impression. If she says any of that it will expose the performative nature of her maturity. So instead she brings up smoking as an example of Asher no longer being cool. But just taking up smoking again won’t fix anything, because that was never the core issue. Because she can’t say what the real problem is, it can never be addressed.

  33. Aslan

    Hell yeah, Willis

  34. Newlland(Henryvolt)

    Jennifer: “I’m not sure he’s Jennifer material, he’s been kind of a geek.”

    Meanwhile with Ethan and the baddie he pulled by being an emotionally wrecked and edgy geek.

    1. anon

      lol this kinda shallow thing you expect to hear from like 15 year old, then again i guess it’s not like college students are stereotypically known for their ‘maturity’ versus like, frat parties (even if a lot of it is overfinflated by movies/culture/etc and the average student isn’t partying every weekend), but you’d think jen would appreciate the ‘sexy nerd’ aspect versus “X is hot so he gets away with being an asshole to ppl”

      1. Archieve

        I’m not sure it’s ever clicked with Jennifer that it’s possible to be the ‘sexy nerd’ she’s still justifying her love of Star Wars as a cultural phenomenon that’s too popular to be unknown.

      2. Needfuldoer

        Jennifer has a very “stereotypical 1950s high school from a 1970s movie” view of how social circles work.

      3. Bittersweet

        Nah, that’s what I hate about Jennifer. I remember being 18/19, I was immature in a lot of ways, but not like this. This is something I’d expect from a 14 or 15 year old (and not even me at that age, I can’t empathize the “geek v cool” debate at all because it just doesn’t make sense to me to care about. All the cool kids at my school were nice, I just had nothing in common with them. The last time they weren’t nice was MIDDLE SCHOOL. This is middle school behavior.)

        Like, I try so hard to give her benefit of the doubt, but she consistently manages to do things which remind me of all the most exhausting people I’ve ever met and just… I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to care about those sorts of people. I didn’t when I was 11, and as I’ve gotten older my tolerance for it has only decreased.

        Like, you know who else cares so much about being cool? My five year old, and she’s gradually learning why that’s not the end all be all of life. Jennifer and my five year old have the same priorities in life right now.

      4. Mark

        The thing about being 18 is that half are still 15 inside and most of the rest are about 25.

        1. thejeff

          And which half varies from moment to moment.

  35. Charles Phipps

    Is Sal of the mind Jennifer is better off without Asher or Asher is better off without her.

    1. drs

      Started with the first, now thinking the second

    2. Archieve

      Sal still seems to think Asher is problem, don’t think she fully appreciates how toxic Jennifer can be in relationships.

    3. DailyBrad

      She has reached a certain level of civility with Asher, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t think he’s trouble.

      Jennifer’s a bit of a doofus, but Sal still has familial feelings towards her, even if they aren’t as strong as Walky’s, and would prefer she not get pulled into shit with Asher’s family, etc, even if he insists that’s behind him now.

      1. Archieve

        True, the mob family ties could be a danger no matter how much Asher tries to leave them behind.

        1. Holly

          They’re exactly what Mike spent his life trying to defend Ethan from, too. Damn, that’s sad.

    4. Bash

      When Sal was hanging around with Asher, he was encouraging her to rob convenience stores and calling the cops on her to save his own skin. It hurts to think that he’s not that person anymore, and is instead a good boyfriend to Jennifer. Therefore Asher is still a dangerous criminal and Jennifer needs to get away before she gets hurt.

      1. Mark

        Plus: no matter how much Asher may want a different life, this attitude is new and not fully baked. It’ll take a long time and some work to establish it, and old habits could get the better of him.

      2. C.T. Phipps

        I mean, Sal has that exact attitude thrown at her.

    5. Sporky

      Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was both: Jennifer is better off without a bad influence like him around and EVERYONE is better off without Jennifer around

  36. Lawzlo

    Big bottom
    Big bottom
    Talk about mud flaps
    Ethan’s got ’em.
    Big bottom
    Drive me out of my mind.
    How can I leave this behind?

  37. Jahu

    LET’S GOOOOOOOOO

  38. Anon A Mouse

    New Slipshine?

  39. BBCC

    You should talk, Miss. “Favourite Star Wars Character Is Kit Fisto.”

  40. Fern

    The most shocking thing about this strip is that new ethan seems to bottom.

  41. DashWallkick

    Wouldn’t be Bille if she didn’t have utterly undue confidence about things she’s wrong about.

  42. 0xKruzr

    she’s SO WRONG, ALL THE TIME. it’s incredible.

  43. Suet

    “kind of a geek” but if you talk about Kit Fisto at the drop of a hat…

    “Baby Come Back” but the singer is more righteous.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Nah, the singer-character in that song is far more self-aware than Jennifer lets herself be.

  44. Bryy

    “Fix him”

    I hope this is not foreshadowing to Jennifer’s internal homophobia flaring up.

    1. NGPZ

      Given the first panel evidence, I think it’s her allergy to Broclones, actually.

    2. Archieve

      More specifically, her allergy to feeling like she’s not the cool girl with a dangerous boyfriend.

      1. NGPZ

        Eh, she always seemed more like the hot girl to me. :p

        1. thejeff

          hot girls are cool

          and vice versa

  45. Formerly Glenn

    I think I like this Ethan Asher relationship nearly as much as I dislike the Billie Ruth relationship.

    1. lyzyrdwyzyrd

      This isn’t a relationship yet.

    2. C.T. Phipps

      I mean Billie and Ruth is actually violently abusive. There’s no real making that romantic.

  46. TulipKitten

    You have to really be an awful person when someone cheats on you and you still look like the asshole here.

    1. anonymsly

      I’m not sure it’s cheating when she either broke up with him or gave him permission, or both.

      1. C.T. Phipps

        He asked if he was her boyfriend and she said not to refer to himself as such.

        He’s in the clear, IMHO.

        1. hatman

          To us he’s in the clear. Jennifer probably thinks he’s not because REASONS.

        2. TulipKitten

          What does Jennifer even want?

          … Oh, Ruth. Duh.

  47. Max

    Asher is in the process of fixing himself right now. I doubt he will go back to Jennifer after he’s finished, though.

    1. Archieve

      Yeah it’s probably going to be awkward for Jennifer at the next meeting/ hangout with Radiahs group when Asher doesn’t show up as Jennifer’s other half. I don’t think she appreciates that he was the only one on her side.

  48. Cmasta1992

    Jennifer I love you and I’m starting to realize it’s because we both have a fetish for self-sabotage

    (And the glasses)

  49. Dante

    YES… HA HA HA… YES!

    THANK YOU WILLIS ILU I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. I’m the sicko in their window. It’s me. And oh boy it was worth every damn second.

    Also, yeah. As everyone has commented: I’m also Sal here. WTF JENNIFER LMAOOO that will be fun to watch too. Asher’s behind is on a better place, babe.

    1. milu

      praise be ?‍♀️

  50. Rabid Rabbit

    It suddenly strikes me that all the Slipshines we’ve seen with Billie involve Ruth.

    Which is great, but does raise the question: Is she actually any good with guys?

    Maybe there are extra reasons Asher’s having a go with Ethan.

    1. Rosstifer

      Jennifer sucks, but evidently not that well.

    2. Taffy

      She’s canonically never touched a penis.

      1. Mturtle7

        Was that on Willis’ Twitter or something? Or was it actually confirmed in the comic somewhere?

        1. milu

          She blurted it out loud in the middle of her threesome with Robin and Raidah

        2. Taffy

          Yeah, like it’s on-panel and everything. Do people just not read the comic anymore?

        3. Taffy

          I haven’t used or looked at Tweeter in over a year, and I’m not parasocial enough to look at Willis’s activity on any site but this one.

      2. thejeff

        This dredged up the memory of a girl from college – might have been a younger sister or friend of someone I knew – who’d been having sex and didn’t know if her boyfriend had been wearing a condom. When it was suggested that she check, the response was “But then I’d have to look at it or touch it!”

        1. milu

          awww. did she ever come out of the closet to your knowledge? =P

        2. thejeff

          Don’t know. Haven’t actually thought about it in years. That’s definitely a possibility and one I doubt I even considered at the time.

          Chalked it up more to just weird sexual repression.

        3. Taffy

          Yuki Oyama be like:

        4. milu

          i have no idea who this is and duck duck go is of no help at all

          unless you do mean Yuki Oyama, the Associate Professor at the department of civil engineering of the Shibaura Institute of Technology or Yuki Oyama, the Paris-based paper artist?

        5. Taffy

          She’s from an ancient webcomic called Ménage à 3. Had a wiener phobia that caused her to see dicks as tentacles because her dad is a renowned tentacle hentai artist, and she’d fly into a violent rampage the second she saw one.

        6. milu

          oh shoot, that sounds unpleasant. is it like.. a metaphor for incest????

        7. Taffy

          I think it’s just a joke about tentacle hentai, mainly. The writing in that series isn’t particularly deep.

      3. HueSatLight

        Reiki handjobs only.

    3. Mturtle7

      You know, I don’t think Jennifer would allow herself to care about Asher rebounding onto Ethan, but being told that Ethan is better at making Asher c*m than her would almost certainly drive her into an ABSOLUTELY FROTHING RAGE. I would pay to see this happen.

  51. Icalasari

    Slipshine when?

  52. Professional asexual

    HERE WE GOOOOOOO

  53. blizzarddragon

    Alright, I’ll say it. I miss Billie. The REAL Billie, not this farce, Jennifer. I miss the bongoy but lovable ex-head cheerleader with a closet geek side that cared about others, Joyce and Walky in particular, that finally started having a healthy relationship with Ruth, and seemed to be doing better, all until that stupid timeskip ruined her. Billie was one of my favs, but I can say for the most part that I HATE Jennifer.

    1. C.T. Phipps

      I approve of Jennifer. Jennifer is off drinking and trying to be her own person.

      Billie was violently abusive to her girlfriend and okay with suicide.

      Jennifer may have her problems but she’s a 1000X better headspace. Sadly, becoming BIllie again would only be worse.

      1. blizzarddragon

        She WAS getting better and working on getting healthier up until Halloween happened and Raidah sunk her claws into her.

        Also, it was mutually abusive between Billie and Ruth. That doesn’t make it better, but Billie wasn’t the only one violently abusive to the other.

  54. Acher4

    As per yesterday.
    I feel though that this is not a bottoming-out moment for Asher and Ethan. Mostly a win. 😛

    1. David DeLaney

      well, at least one of them’s probably gonna bottom, but neither of them are quite out, are they?

      1. Mturtle7

        I mean, Ethan is definitely out. Screwed like half the dudes in his dorm wing, yelled “I’M GAY!” in a crowded room, the whole nine yards.
        Asher, not so much (I presume).

        1. Alan in DC

          Grampa’s gonna be thrilled…

        2. HueSatLight

          It’s ok, they’re in the woke mob.

  55. Needfuldoer

    Will this push her even further into Raidah’s circle?

    1. Doctor Aker

      Quite the opposite, actually. Raidah said a few books ago that they were only tolerating Jennifer to keep Asher around. Odds are she’s gonna get ghosted the second they learn he broke up with her.

  56. Zamperla

    She’s really not sure what to do with a relationship without a kind of mutual orbit thing going on huh.

  57. foducool

    makes me laugh because he knows EXACTLY what he’s leaving behind lmao

  58. CianM1301

    It appears I was mistaken. Here’s< the aforementioned trysitn’.

  59. David DeLaney

    {voice=bear name=Fozzie} Now _that’s_ what I call a PLOT TRYST! {/voice}{sunglasses}

    1. David DeLaney

      if you love somebody, let them go
      and see who they hook up with
      and take some notes for when they come back to you

  60. Pylgrim

    So… what is “Jennifer material” at this point? The jockiest of jocks? If there isn’t at least some domestic violence there will always be the suspicion that he’s a pansy? So emotionally distant that she seems gushing in comparison?

    1. Daibhid C

      I think a tendency to argue back and at least threaten violence occasionally is definitely part of it. Along with red hair, sarcasm, support for losing hockey teams, and being female. Not that Jennifer would admit that that’s Jennifer material for even a second.

      1. C.T. Phipps

        I mean, if Jennifer material is “person I threaten and commit violence against” then we can be glad Ruth is not it.

    2. Sam

      Batman. She wants brooding, without an addiction, who will argue with her and keep her distant in public, but may be more vulnerable in private on rare occasions.

      1. lyzyrdwyzyrd

        Batman absolutely has an addiction.
        If he didn’t, he’d be Bruce and not Batman.
        He is addicted to being Batman

        1. Sam

          Being Batman is an acceptable addiction because it is effortlessly cool and only a nerd would suggest punching your problems is not the right way to deal with them.

        2. Da Boy

          Sadly Bruce Wayne is dead, he died in the Crime Alley and what came out wearing his skin was an empty vessel that wished to be filled with purpose. And that purpose was Justice and Vengeance.

    3. thejeff

      What’s Jennifer material? Ruth.

      Other than that and other than the cool girl image she needs a cool motorcycle dude to prop up, I think we can see part of the problem if we look back at her relationship with Ruth. She’s a bratty sub and Asher’s not a top.

      1. Taffy

        She’s the annoying kind of brat, too. Hot as she is, I don’t think I’d be willing to put up with the shitty attitude long enough to get through foreplay, let alone the whole two hours.

        1. thejeff

          You’ve got to be the kind of person who finds that kind of thing hot.

          Like Ruth.

        2. Taffy

          I’m like Ruth in a lot of ways, but that definitely ain’t one of ’em.

  61. Da Boy

    Jennifer, a suicidally depressed dork is better material than you as far as Asher is concerned.

  62. adam Black

    No Jennifer. Asher wasn’t turning into a geek.
    He wanted to bang a hot geek.

    1. Da Boy

      It’s a risky manoeuvrer, you can’t get that close to a geek without becoming a bit of a geek yourself through osmosis.

      1. Mark

        Is that a bad thing?

        1. Da Boy

          Not for Asher, that’s for sure XD

      2. Adam Black

        Yeah. its sad, that literally Jennifers thought process ( might catch the geek cooties ) , when he caught it from her !

        then she she used this as a defense mechanism ( oh hes nerding out ) to deny the obvious : My BF is attracted to Walky and Sal, and also into dudes.

  63. Yeet

    “he knows what he’s leaving behind”
    yeah that’s. that’s why he’s leaving, jennifer.

    I don’t think this is all that comparable to a potential walky/dorothy hookup
    asher tried to talk to jennifer after kissing ethan once and got told to go do it again and was told (more recently) that him and jen are not actually together
    walky apparently hasn’t really talked to lucy after the big argument to see where they’re at (but it isn’t looking good)
    I think walky has the emotional intelligence to know that needs to be capped off one way or the other, but not necessarily the emotional fortitude to do it

    1. Bash

      I thought it was worse than a “big argument”. If somebody told me that our relationship dynamic was unhealthy and concluded with “I will see you in class,” I would assume I was dumped. But then again Walky isn’t great at subtext.

      1. Yeet

        you’re probably right but I think lucy is new enough at effectively socialising that if I were in walky’s shoes I’d want it to be explicit and literal

        1. Adam Black

          Except, She just admitted to sarah she doesnt know if they are togther.
          She KNOWS she left walky on the hook. thats not naive, she knows.
          The only naivete is not knowing the limit of manipulation of a girlfriend

          ands its not Innocent because she JUST witnessed Jennifer do the same thing,
          and them schemed to make Billy Jealous, to bring them back togther.
          ( SEE how well that worked )

          Dont Mistake her sweetness, for innocence.

          She’s very very vary Canny and cunning. Shes a shameless social climber.
          She Knows that Walky might think they are broken up and do something with someone else: She just saw this whole scenario with Jennifer the day before.

          She showed up on purpose so walky would see her, and chose to be Polite and resolve nothing. This was 100% a social power move. Her sweetness allows her to do social manipulation without any guilt. its NOT Guilelessness.

          The worst situation shes EVER been in the entire strip is a microaggression having walkys mother tell Walky he is slumming. (But she walked into that Lions den fully aware she is rude to her own daughter, after being told and deciding to charm her anyway) The rest of the cast was Kidnapped.

          Dont forget how she went to Billys old floor looking for something to manipulate her with . Then interefered with her relationship with Ruth , just so she can play matchmaker ,( she doesnt learn) Inserting herself as IN charge of all Billys social life. ( This so frustrates me, because Lucy was my favorite character on shortpacked. ) She acts like all these actions Just passively happenned to her. They didnt.

          Lucy really feels like she shes immune to self criticism.

          after looking at all this evidence, I NO longer BELIEVE Lucy thought Walky said “I love You” .

          Ockhams Razor says it was a manipulation that she thought was “sweet” , and she it was a power move ( just like the rest ) to put him on the spot to go along or claim he didnt love her. ( because those are the only options)

          Which implies shes took it personally trying to be honest, as if hes choosing not to love her.

  64. Adept

    Billie’s self image as “the hottest thing around” keeps biting her in the (probably very nice) butt. There are more things in life than that Billie, and more to you as well.

  65. Taffy

    She wants to be Georgette so badly but she could never.

    1. Mark

      applause

  66. Serendipity

    Jennifer, you need to understand that you don’t have a single thing figured out. You do not understand people. You are not a master manipulator nor should you seek to be.

    1. Mturtle7

      Aha! You’re only saying that because that’s what she WANTED you to say! BEHOLD her unbelievable powers of post-factual rationalization manipulation!

    2. Adam Black

      are you kidding me? Asher did exactly what she said to.
      its all part of the The Plan

  67. Teapot

    Amber sits up in bed, her Fujoshi Senses tingling.

  68. Rabisch

    YES! This is so satisfying to see!

  69. Spacie

    What a nice comic to wake up to on a Saturday.

  70. Hof1991

    Everyone is a NPC to Jennifer. It confuses her when they act with agency.

    1. Jamie

      The term you’re looking for is “solipsism”.

  71. bcb

    Jennifer is still not willing to admit that she is also a geek.

  72. milu

    FINALLY
    GAY SHENANIGANS

  73. Devin

    I struggle so much with Jennifer because most of her issues seem to stem from self-loathing, but she makes it absolutely everyone else’s problem.

    1. Holly

      Classic narcissitic behaviour tbh

  74. Smooti

    BASED ASHER

  75. Nevermaker

    Yeah, he does, Jennifer. THAT’S THE PROBLEM.

  76. poyo

    GOD i hate jennifer so much. like we get it, youre actually incredibly insecure and you overcompensate for it. grow up

  77. Steelbright

    Do i think this is the best way for Asher & Ethan to go about this? No. Could something positive come out of it? Definitely. Do I enjoy watching Jennifer stick it to herself by being a dumbass? HELL YEAH.

  78. Sporky

    listen i get that this bullshit is jennifer’s whole thing but like… after reading this comic since 2011 i’m just exhausted at this point. can she have some other character traits please? like, ANY other character traits

    1. eskimolos

      I mean, she does. It’s not effective every time, it may not even be half the time, but Jennifer does genuinely go out of her way to help people she sees suffering or thinks could use it, and she does get shit done in not always terrible ways when shit needs doing. She doesn’t, as far as I understand it, actually have an overinflated sense of self worth and importance, but she’s clearly been raised by negligent wealthy parents to fake it till she makes it, and I do relish how the faking it often makes it… worse. Her distaste for Asher’s softening is because she does not feel worthy of being cherished and needs to be treated with contempt and/or aggression to feel the same need to live up to her partner’s expectations that she feels about her parents. She’s an excellent case study of how wealth and status themselves are massively harmful to a person’s sense of self.

      1. thejeff

        I’d say the neglect probably plays a bigger role than the wealth and status, though they certainly shaped the effect the neglect had on her.

    2. Sombrero

      I guess the point is she can’t until she really tries.

  79. Matt

    long time reader, first time commenter, but I would pay so much money for an Ethan/Asher slipshine, please Willis if you’re reading this GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT

    1. Lonesome Rider

      hi matt maybe keep an eye out on the smut patreon. I wouldn’t be too surprised if there will a drawing there in the near future
      patreon.com/damnyouwillis69/

  80. Li

    Nice.

    (Sometimes people read comic strips and enjoy developments in them, despite those developments not being optimal for the short- and/or long-term happiness of the characters involved.)

    1. Taffy

      It seems like more people are getting fed up and exhausted with the ceaseless, 24/7/365 fussing over what is or isn’t the Most Optimal Thing™ in any conceivable circumstance, and whether or not that reflects on real human beings’ moral fiber if they enjoy/dislike reading it.

      Can we keep the trend up?

      1. Li

        ❤️ I figured if I threw that disclaimer in, I’d at least get to avoid some folks who weren’t familiar with my comments (I’m not THAT much of a regular), and at least everyone else would have been warned I wasn’t in the mood for being accused of condoning possibly-maybe-it’s-unclear cheating on people in real life lmao

        1. milu

          my solution to this thorny issue is to enthusiastically condone cheating!

        2. Li

          Snorfle I was just noticing you both doing that the other day. And yeah, much as I also would give Walky a pat on the head for doing the mature thing (yesterday’s strip made me sad for both of them), her kissing him was also a “nice.” moment for similar reasons.

          And I like Jennifer. I think she’s interesting. I just also think her reaction to this would be interesting!

        3. milu

          i was doing that???!! that doesn’t sound like me.

          anyway, same, i love jennifer!!! she’s just.. so cool.

          (but seriously, she is ridiculous, but mostly inoffensive. truly the hate mystifies me, even in the irl transposition way of relating to fiction which i find very weird but ok sure, let’s do it: she sounds like a 24/7 lmao-fest, i would enjoy the hell out of hanging out with her just to hear her say one incredible thing after another)

        4. Li

          ❤️

          I’ve also consistently seen some just very boring reads of her. Like the idea that Asher sleeping with someone else is going to “humble” her, something she apparently needs because she’s so full of herself — like, really? Are you sure? These folks think she’s going to be shocked she’s been “replaced”.

          Meanwhile I’m over here like, Jennifer’s self-esteem is so obviously a paper tiger. She can talk a good game, but I genuinely don’t understand buying into it and thinking she actually thinks she’s great. I think Jennifer thinks she’s hot (within certain parameters), but I don’t think she thinks she’s any kind of real “catch”. I think not so very deep down, she expects to be replaced.

          She both doesn’t think she deserves the person Asher was becoming (gentle, loving, no longer aloof, successfully quitting cigarettes and at her request) and doesn’t believe such a person would actually stick around. The only partners she feels like she can “keep” at this point are people who are fucked up in at least two ways. Anyone who improves themself too much will leave her, the way Alice and seemingly Ruth did.

          But I can spell all this out and still be enthusiastic about this potential trash fire development ? Gonna be an interesting, compelling ride.

      2. Li

        Like maybe this will be good for Ethan and or Asher, maybe it’ll even spur Jennifer towards character development eventually, but honestly who cares when it’s so interesting?? The drama potential! Excellent use of dramatic irony, too.

        Lots of ways for this to unfold and I’m excited.

        (I’m also a sucker for a happy ending but the thing about happy endings is they come at the end of the story.)

  81. Cloud

    Quickly someone tell Amber, she has lemon to write.

  82. Rikunda

    Does that mean he is Billy material but not Jennifer? She was always arrogant and condescending. I would say narcissistic if not for Carla.

  83. Maddie B

    Good for you, boys.

  84. wilddeath

    He’s leaving behind a bad relationship.

  85. Josh Spicer

    Yeah, he…he certainly does, Jennifer.

    He certainly does…

  86. HueSatLight

    Joyce conspicuously absent from list of who Joyce would say is hottest.
    My vote would depend if Joyce were saying it anonymously or where other people could hear.

  87. The Jighole Man

    Jennifer: It’s simple. If I treat him poorly and tell him he’s not edgy enough for me, he’ll do everything in his power to give me exactly what I want. What; Leave me for someone better? Of course he won’t leave me for someone better. He knows I’m worth it.

  88. shrub

    Lets face it, Jennifer is not as hot as she thinks shes is.

    But I can’t fault her confidence/delusion

  89. David DeLaney

    also, obligatory yesyesyesyesyesss before the clock strikes 13

  90. Warcodered

    How are they both the better and worse people in the relationship now?

  91. Jude Deluca

    He traded one bottom for another.

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