177

Misplaced aggression
Posted on May 23, 2013 by David M Willis
I'll be at Phoenix Comicon today!  Come see me and Joel Watson at Booth #243 #1749! That'll be an Artists Alley corner booth in the far back corner next to the "LEGO Display" and "Star Wars Neighborhood." Check out John Troutman's map.

177 thoughts on “Misplaced aggression”

  1. Regalli

    Amber, are you hiding something?

    1. Psycho

      Amber’s not fooling anyone….or should I say…..SPIDER-CAR!!!

      1. John

        Amber’s not fooling Spider-Car? Does Spider-Car even exist in this continuity?

        1. Yotomoe

          If Robo-Vac can exist in this continuity, then Spider-Car had better!

        2. nothri

          If Spider-car doesn’t exist in this continuity then of course she isn’t fooling him. You can’t fool that which has no cognizance to fool.

        3. Portmaneau

          No. Amber is Robo-Vac. Because we all know the truth.

      2. Aras Pabedinskas

        Is Spider-Car part of the Dexter and Monkey comic or does he/she have her/his own series?

        1. Philisitine

          The correct way to say that is “does Vrrrm have vrrrm’s own series?”

        2. Hermitix

          I like and favorite this despite lack of support for such things on this site.

        3. Felix Kütt

          +1

  2. Jen Aside

    Yikes, does Amber buy ALL the comics, LITERALLY? D= [Do they even MAKE that many a week?]

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I don’t know about comics but when I get a call from Pulp Fiction about my orders, there can be quite a few manga for me to pick up.

      1. TaZZerath

        Plasma, excuse me for asking, but where do you hail from? I just ask because there’s a Pulp Fiction Comics right near me… probably just a coincidence…

        1. Yotomoe

          Plas is an aussie. Da’s all I know.

        2. Osaru Sensei

          and here I thought I couldn’t be more of a Plas fangirl lol.

          (And no, I’m Swedish myself)

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          I haz fangirl? OH MY! 🙂

        4. Felix Kütt

          You’re the commenting super star! 🙂

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          The Pulp Fiction store I go to is located in King William Street in Adelaide.

        6. TaZZerath

          Snap 😀

        7. Yotomoe

          To go to a Pulp Fiction store, Do you have to speak “ENGLISH, MUTH FUCKA!!”?

        8. saltchocolate

          That was Samuel L. Jackson’s line, wasn’t it?

        9. JustcallmeSoul

          english motherfucker, you speak it? what?! say what one more time i dare you i DOUBLE dare you.

          on a side not, one of the most disturbing moments of my life was when my 12 year old female cousin recited 2/3rds of that scene to me against my will, language and all, and my uncle commented “damn, she memorized THAT quickly.”

      2. John Harmon

        Manga is comics.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          True, but I have only seen manga in book form not comic form.

        2. Robin

          Manga is people!

        3. Felix Kütt

          manga is green?

    2. RaijinK

      Marvel had 15 superhero issues out this week. I think DC’s still doing 13 a week so it adds up to 52 a month? There are quite a few non-big-two superhero titles out these days too. So there could be well over 30 on any given week.

      1. Ghotiheads

        Are you telling me she gets a New 52 every month?

        1. Raijink

          Well she’s getting Aquaman at least! And if she can stand that, I don’t see her snubbing much else in the line.

        2. Alex Stritar

          Actually, I’ve heard that the Aquaman stuff has been good lately.

    3. John Harmon

      By “they”, do you mean the comics industry in general? Because yeah, I’d say all of the comic companies out there would put out that many comics a week.

    4. VintagePhoenixMatt

      I think I can speak to this – that’s me handing Amber her comics in the strip up there! (Hi, I’m Matt, manager of Vintage Phoenix Comics in Bloomington) Each week we have between 100 and 150 new titles on the racks, and while we have a diverse selection, we don’t order nearly everything that the comic book industry produces each week. We really do have customers who purchase stacks resembling this.

      On an unrelated note, I think I need some new clothes – I recognized the shirt I’m wearing in the strip immediately, and I’m wearing it today.

      1. Reepicheep-chan

        Well there you have it. That is a pretty definitive answer, I would say.

      2. Regalli

        That is one hilarious coincidence.

      3. begbert2

        Good god, how much does a stack like that cost?

      4. Jen Aside

        Oh, okay, so Amber’s singlehandedly keeping the comics industry in business. *thumbs up*

        1. Jen Aside

          [no Youngblood or Zen: Intergalactic Ninja, tho]

      5. The blot

        Matt needs to be tagged! At the very least call him Comic Book Guy (or is that name already taken!?!)

    5. thecanvashat

      Well, she doesn’t buy Action Comics.

  3. Aras Pabedinskas

    Misplaced? She is clearly placing it on that man’s chest.

  4. Yotomoe

    Glad to see Robo-Vac is back.

    1. TaZZerath

      I hear he was different after the “New 12” re-imaging though

      1. Aras Pabedinskas

        I mean the explaination of him merging with a vacuum cleaner became so weird after they modernized it with a roomba.

        1. TaZZerath

          Robo-oomba never had the same ring to it, did it?

        2. Yotomoe

          Yeah, but at least the Christopher Nolan movies seemed to go too.
          “The Vac-Knight” Was a box office smash!

        3. TaZZerath

          “The Vac-Knight Sucks” was a bit of a let-down though. Probably should’ve gone with a better title.

        4. Aras Pabedinskas

          At least the villains were good. I loved how such an utter mess the villain, The Hair was.

        5. JBO

          yes, but the Dust bunny is still unbeatable!

          Nicholas Cage’s best role ever in my opinion!

          “YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I GOT THESE EARS?”
          I still get goosebumps.

        6. TaZZerath

          Yeah I guess… but having giant mutated superfleas as minions just a little TOO over the top.

        7. Portmaneau

          I’m still waiting for the sequel though.

        8. StClair

          My favorite is the end of the story about the shag carpet:

          “So how’d you finally get it clean?”
          “We tore it out and put in hardwood floors.”

        9. bookwormdalek

          At least it was better than the final movie of the
          original movie series: Robo-Vac and Dustpan. That
          movie nearly killed the Robo-Vac franchise.

        10. Notebooked

          Oh my god, I KNOW. Who thought it would be a good idea to give Robo-Vac a ‘funny, cute’ sidekick?! Nozzle did fine on that front!

          “I’m not cleaning THAT up!” Urgh, I still hear it in my nightmares…

      2. Joel Rice

        Yeah his costume is a stupid turtleneck now

    2. charles

      This needs a Robo-Vac tag, no?

  5. Kensou

    Brilliant save there. XD

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    It is obvios now that Amber’s not Amazi-Girl, I mean, who has ever heard of a hard-core comicbook reader actually taking up the mantle of superhero for real, I mean REALLY? 😛

    1. Yotomoe

      That’d be like me becoming a rubber pirate, looking for 7 dragonballs so I could defeat my girlfriend’s 7 evil- exes.

      1. TaZZerath

        That was YOU?

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        If you had rubber powers, you shouldn’t even need any dragonballs to defeat some mere ex-boyfriends.

      3. JBO

        Naw, instead of rubber powers you should learn three sword style fighting. Then you can use the “Power of love” the “power of self-respect and the “Z sword” at teh same time!

        1. Dicrel Seijin

          Nah, I’d prefer to grow body parts. Grow some arms or legs to trip the ex up. Grow some arms to pin the ex down spread eagle. Grow a pair of legs (or four) for alternating groin stomps.

          I haven’t decided if I’d stand off to the side, hands on hips with my head thrown back laughing manically, or perhaps conducting this symphony of pain with a little baton.

          And yes, I have given this some thought–I used to be part of a One Piece online roleplay. You get one guess who I played.

      4. Aras Pabedinskas

        I don’t know about you guys but I really want the power to transform into a human. Man, that would change everything.

        1. Megatron

          It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

      5. JBO

        After my old friend the comedian was killed I decided to spread anarchy by blowing up the parliament and all people who had experimented on me when I was interned in a prisoner camp. But then my robot side kick turned out to be posessed by a weirdly named Alien who wanted to eat all of reality and in the process created 52 parallel universes. I only maneged to defeat him by swallowing a deaging poison and now I must pretend to be some random ten year old while living next door to my not-girlfriend.

        1. TaZZerath

          Attach ‘Directed by Ron Howard’ and you got yourself a Hollywood smash

  7. Doctor_Who

    She’s just embarrassed to admit she reads Aquaman.

    1. Theozilla

      Hey Aquaman is awesome. I’m personally more impressed she can afford so many titles. I do wonder if there are currently any superhero comics on the market now that begin with Y or Z?

      1. TaZZerath

        And what about those poor numbered superheroes?

      2. Scoops

        Young Avengers?

        Also if her list starts at Aquaman, this means she’s not reading Animal Man.

        1. Kamino Neko

          Presuming she gets her pull regularly, Animal Man and Aquman don’t come out in the same weeks. The latter came out this week, the former last week.

          Of course, reading Aquaman but not Animal Man is perfectly understandable, as Aquaman continues to be a good book, but Animal Man went to hell with the Rotworld crossover (which didn’t do Swamp Thing any favours, either).

      3. C.

        Young Avengers.

      4. RaijinK

        Zatanna had her own series a couple years ago. Currently? Uh…I think Zaucer of Zilk has some superhero elements in it maybe?

      5. John Merklinghaus

        I think they stopped printing Zorro a few months ago, which is a pity, since Batman probably subscribes to it.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      Aquaman can control Cthulhu, now that’s hardcore.

    3. JBO

      Aquaman is not squashed by the pressure at the bottom of the ocean. He still can throw a punch at that depth! He is at least as strong as super man.

      1. Yotomoe

        Just not as versatile. Superman’s just too OP.

        1. Neospector

          Like Goku, but less screaming.

      2. Piper

        Yeah, funny how Aquaman rules 70 percent of the planet, while living in the crushing depths of the ocean gives him inhuman strength and the ability to leap several stories on dry land. Plus his skin is so dense it’s nearly bullet-proof, he has untapped telepathic potential that impresses even the Martian Manhunter, AND he managed to land a gorgeous, interdimensional mermaid assassin for a wife … and people think he’s lame because he “talks to fish.” I personally think the current Aquaman book is among the best DC is producing.

  8. Sir Robin

    I’m glad to know Amber is not one of those indy snobs who looks down on superheroes like most female comic readers are portrayed in other comics

    1. Yotomoe

      I dislike snobs. They’re always trying to one up you by being obnoxious and elitist.

  9. David Herbert

    Less than a month and she’s already recognisable as soon as she walks in the door? She must love that place.

    1. Yotomoe

      If she is not on screen, just assume she’s in there.

    2. Greg

      Uh… are Amber/Ethan/Mike from nearby the school?

    3. timemonkey

      If she buys a huge stack on a weekly basis they’d recognise her pretty quickly.

  10. TaZZerath

    Presently whenever I go to comment on a comic I see the animated Sal Gif… it makes me think this is her reaction to reading the current strip

  11. Philippe G.

    And I thought I was buying too many comics every week.

  12. Ragnal

    Y’know, it’s okay to say you read superhero comics, Amber, I don’t think he’d get THAT suspicious of you being Amazi-Girl. Hell, my headcanon is basically Danny getting all the hints and STILL not realizing the connection.

    Of if you’re gonna lie, I’ve got a list of independant stuff you can rattle off: Love and Rocket, Saga, Maus, Walking Dead, the Sonic and Mega Man comics, Usagi Yojimbo, the TMNT comic series that is still ongoing despite Nickelodeon’s buying the franchise…

    I have a friend who talks a lot about indy comics, so I could go on. 😛

    1. Sir Robin

      I’m sure she is buying those too

  13. arjay2813

    i didn’t see the part about x-men at first so i thought she was trying to hide that she’s a dc fan while he’s a marvel fan. the joke works both the original way and that way

  14. ReFlex76

    “Oh hi Frank! Say, we got that Model D-83 Swedish Sure-grip Suck Machine you ordered!”

  15. ridtom

    Hahahaha oh Amber, you just gave that man a mild concussion…..

  16. SUGauthor

    You know, now that I think about it, Amazi girl seems like just the type of girl who would read a bunch of super hero comics…

    1. Sir Robin

      You think she shops there too?

    2. SUGauthor

      Though now that I’m ACTUALLY thinking about, why would Amber come here with Danny, when she knew there was good chance that might happen?

  17. Zababcd

    Ah, the old Intage Comic store.

    1. begbert2

      That would be a great name for a store.

      “It’s pronounced “in-ta-jay”

  18. Yotomoe

    Poor comics guy, suffering from such a spontaneous random act of violence.

    1. TaZZerath

      I’m sure he’s used to it, but normally when comics are delayed!

    2. JBO

      Worst customer ever!

    3. John

      She’s just annoyed because him putting Aquaman first implies that he forgot her Amazi-Girl titles.

      1. JBO

        I read that as: He forgot her amazigirl titties.

        Damn brain get your head out of the gutter!

        1. John

          Don’t be silly. No one forgets the Amazi-Rack!

        2. SUGauthor

          Except for Ethan who fails to notice its there.

        3. JBO

          Well he only uses them to cover his head.

        4. Regalli

          It makes for an excellent hat!

        5. Yotomoe

          http://sadpanda.us/images/1614797-8MICCC7.png

        6. Regalli

          YES!

  19. JBO

    Why would she hide that she reads comic books?
    I think by know she should have realized that Danny wouldn’t get that she’s Amazi-Girl if it hit him in the face.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      She’s worried that even Danny might be able to catch such a big clue like that.

      1. Yotomoe

        This Danny we’re talking about. He was excited when his ex-girlfriend said “We need to talk”.

        1. JBO

          Hey Amber, why is there a Amazigirl costume in your room?
          *Gasp*
          COULD YOUR ROOMMATE BE AMAZIGIRL??
          Gilligan cut to Dina being perplexed when Danny talks about playing mario cart.

        2. John

          “Are… are you an Amazi-Girl cosplayer?”

          (I was going to take this somewhere else, but I decided I don’t really feel that Shortpackedy tonight.)

        3. NightmareWarden

          Danny:”Are…are you Amazigirl?”
          Amber:”N-no! I I I… want to be her sidekick!”
          Danny:”NEVER! I WILL BE HER SIDEKICK!”

          So who is the supervillain(ess) to our super-heroine, Amazi-girl?

    2. Keith

      Yea. It doesn’t really seem like a natural reaction. I don’t feel that anyone would suspect someone of vigilantism just because they read a lot of superhero comics.

  20. Wonder Wig

    So she doesn’t read Aardvark Man or Zebra Girl? 🙁

    1. Yotomoe

      Or Matter-Eater Lad!? The most specific superhero name I can think of!?

      1. JBO

        WHAT ABOUT SQUIRREL GIRL???

    2. John

      Zebra Girl’s update schedule is too slow to have a book every week.

      1. Vabolo

        Alas!

  21. macbone

    Holy crap, that’s a stack of comics! And that’s this week’s? Wow!

  22. C.

    There’s Dexter on the front wall.

    1. Joebo

      Yes, and why isn’t he tagged?

  23. Uniqueantique

    Stop worrying Amber. Danny is not just oblivious, he’s totally out of it.

    1. Yotomoe

      Danny wouldn’t get the point if you stabbed him with it.

  24. Kernanator

    Dammit, Amber, it’s okay for you to admit to Danny that you like comic books! He’s not the type of person to look down on you for it, in fact, it may make him like you better…

    Okay, maybe I can see why she wouldn’t want him knowing.

  25. Greenygal

    …so, Amber, your plan was to go to the comics store with Danny but not let him see which comics you were buying or even talk about the comics you were interested in? I don’t think you have really thought this outing through.

  26. Spieguh

    Ah the Vintage Phoenix, where I spent many a dollar on Star Wars comics and met David Prowse instead of going to class.

  27. Kernanator

    Amber, this is like responding to someone saying, “Hey there,” with “WHAT BODY?!?”

    1. JBO

      Billie’s body of course. Yesterday. DAMN.

      1. Kernanator

        DAMN, indeed.

    2. Yotomoe

      “Yo, man. What’s up?”
      I didn’t kill him!!!

      1. Robin

        “What’s up?”
        “I didn’t do it! I don’t even have an axe!”

  28. Slyness

    I know it’s probably for the joke but CHAIRMAN WOW! At at least $3 per comic (and probably more in some cases), that is a healthy pile of cash represented by that weekly pull.

    1. RaijinK

      She gets the bulk discount.

    2. Rowen Morland

      And look at his smile!

    3. Kamino Neko

      ~$120 by my estimate of the size of that stack, which, considering she’s also a WoW addict, and has a cell phone means Amber is laying out a good amount of money on a regular basis. With school, WoW, and her…other hobby, I don’t see her having time to work, so…it’d be interesting to see where Amber’s moneys are coming from.

      1. Geminia999

        Sounds like Batman to me

  29. T Campbell

    Amber, Amber, Amber. You were doing pretty well with the mussed hair and the blue voice, and most importantly, you didn’t seem too WORRIED that Danny might catch on. He’ll figure it out when he figures it out! Relax and enjoy him in the meantime, and he’ll be attached to you in both your identities, hopefully enough to overlook that whole “lying to him over the entire course of your relationship after he already got serious trust issues from his ex” thing.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Then shortly afterwards, he gets stuffed into a fridge.

      1. Maja!

        +1

    2. someguywithakatana

      You’re forgetting the part where Danny is chronically pathetic. I honestly doubt it will even occur to him that he should be totally pissed that she’s been lying to him all this time.

      1. T Campbell

        But what WAY is he pathetic? Will he go the “obsessively forgiving doormat” route, which is convenient but eventually creepy, or will he be the sort who now throws the best thing in his life away because of his cauldron of not-that-difficult-to-resolve issues? It’s not really a simmering cauldron. More room temperature.

  30. billygoatofdoom

    Oh God! There’s going to be so many bent pages!

    1. begbert2

      Particularly since she seems to have shoved him through the comic stack!

  31. Anon

    What do Amber think of Sailor Moon?

  32. Zoey

    falcon SHOVE!

    1. Portmaneau

      ouch

  33. Aesir

    How can she have a weekly pull of comics if they’ve only been there for a couple of weeks…surely that’s not enough time for her to be a regular customer enough for that (and for the shop guy to know her) already

    1. Slyness

      I worked at a comic book store for about three years, and weekly/monthly pulls were something that we set up for anyone who wanted one, not just regulars. We also took a deposit, enough to cover approximately a month if the person just dropped off the planet. People who set up pull-boxes became regulars, but they didn’t have to start that way.

  34. Tenn

    Aquaman.

    X-men.

    And everything in between.

    That’s one hell of a sandwich!

    1. Groove

      Ruh-roh Raggy

    2. Kamino Neko

      … Giggity.

  35. Ancestral Hamster

    “I’m shocked! Shocked to find gambling in this establishment!”

    Oh, Amber …

    1. Wack'd

      “Your winnings, sir.”

  36. Astfgl

    I don’t understand why Amber’s so worried. I mean, we already know that Amazi-Girl is Mike….

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Very Drunk Mike.

  37. DT

    ….Why does the comic shop owner look so smug about bringing Amber her pulls?

    I was confused about why Amber would be so… defensively secretive about her love of superheroes… But previous commenters deciphered that one for me.

    1. begbert2

      I think he’s just smiling. It doesn’t help that he’s looking downwards (because he’s tall), or that his eyes are beady.

      1. VintagePhoenixMatt

        Beady eyes?! Thanks a lot, begbert! Seriously though, I take customer service very seriously, I’d never act smugly toward such a good customer (with such a large subscription list!).

        -Matt (manager of Vintage Phoenix Comics in Bloomington)

  38. Crumplepunch

    X-men?

    HOW DARE YOU. *SHOVE*

    1. Andiemus

      The only reasonable explanation.

  39. Bunivasal

    Please. She probably just pretends to read those comics to get boys to like her so she can spike them into the friendzone. I bet she can’t even name every Batman pencil artist since 1980 in alphabetical order. Plus, those glasses are probably fake too.

    I’m going to get banned for that, aren’t I?

  40. Volkai

    I think I may have startled the neighbors with that sudden laughter.

  41. Charles Phipps

    I’m more confused as to how she can afford that many comics in today’s economy. As a poor college student, I was only able to get a few titles a week and the occasional graphic novel.

    1. begbert2

      Perhaps she inherited her parents’ billions after they were gunned down in front of her.

  42. T Campbell

    Also, I look forward to the inevitable Robo-Vac/Dexter crossover.

    Also, it’s probably worth noting that Danny takes Amber’s “no superheroes” official policy in a lot of stride. If you’ve read Shortpacked, you know that superhero fans can sometimes get… defensive about their literary preferences.

    Huh. What if Danny actually DOES know? He knows the tropes, after all, and he thinks of himself as “Lois Lane,” which would make Amber “Clark.” I know he comes off as pretty thick, but I think most of that is emotional immaturity and willful denial, not an actual lack of intelligence. He might have witnessed this little exchange and just thought, “Aw, look, my cute little Clarkette’s freaking about her secret ID again.” Playing dumb would be part of the game.

    1. begbert2

      Nothing has actually happened to disprove this theory – it would actually be a FAR more flattering explanation for his obliviousness than anything else that comes to mind. I would be quite pleased if this came to pass.

      On the other hand, this comic isn’t called “Smarting of Age”.

    2. Kernanator

      That’s what I’ve been saying!

  43. Focka

    Jesus fucking Christ, how much money is that?! How the hell can she afford that many comics? Ooh, does DoA!Amber have millionaire parentals? Is she secretly earning money through product endorsements as Amazi-Girl? Did she sell her story to some comic writer for a 6-figure advance and is soon going to be collecting Amazi-Girl titles too??

    I am so jealous of that comics pile, though. I wanna afffffooooord those toooooo.

    1. Notebooked

      In a shocking plot twist, Amazi-Girl turns out to be a common mugger, stealing the wallets of those she doles out ‘justice’ to.

      Or maybe it’s the inheritance from her dead rich parents whose horrifying death inspired her to become a superhero in the first place. Either or!

      (Man, though, I know the feeling. Heck, I want to be able to have any comics at all. There aren’t any comic book stores in our area, and the closest thing is a sci-fi store that sells graphic novels/compilations, which are fine but so expensive…)

  44. Notebooked

    Why do I love the fact that Amber doesn’t even look at him as she shoves comic clerk dude to the ground?

  45. Tnoy

    Right. Display your upper body strength. Good move, Amber.

  46. bunivasal

    Ah, it just wouldn’t be a college freshman relationship if it didn’t involve inexplicable, pointless lies.

  47. Kernanator

    Oooooh, I get it now, it’s because she’s exhibiting misplaced aggression herself!

  48. Bri

    If we’re doing comics in alphabetical order wouldn’t Alpha come before Aquaman? Or does Amber not read it?

  49. NightmareWarden

    Could Amber go to jail for the crime of death-by-paper? Homicidal papercuts are no joke people.

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