Moved
Posted on May 23, 2014 by David M Willis

155 thoughts on “Moved”

  1. AHR

    Come on Mike, no need to be petty. Just cause Walky left you for someone prettier doesn’t mean you need to take revenge.

    1. Jen Aside

      haha Gravatar win

    2. thecanvashat

      Prettier than Mike? Ha!

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      Clearly screwing mothers for a nickel just doesn’t excite him quite the same way as getting some of that caramel goodness does.

      1. newllend

        He could get that from Sal if he wanted,No really if it ment screwing with someone’s head he would do it for That reason only.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          But Walky radiates uke which suits a seme like Mike a lot better.

        2. sps48

          Are those typos or something I’m’na hafta look up?

        3. PrincessCarlos

          I wouldn’t if I were you.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Uke: BL fan slang for a guy who is the ‘bottom’ when engaging in gay sex.
          Seme: BL slang for a guy who is the ‘pitcher’ when engaging in gay sex.
          SEMME: The name of the top-secret organisation that SP! Mike served in.

        5. gangler

          That’s some quality punsmanship.

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          Danke! A day without puns is like a day without gums, harder to sink your teeth into.

        7. Ancestral Hamster

          Actually, I thought “uke” was the noise the bottom makes while his bottom is being plumbed. “Uke uke uke.”

          Re: caramel goodness. Mike: Bring me another Walkerton, this one’s full.

        8. Parnifia the Bastard

          Actually, “seme” and “uke” are general terms, not just BL. They may have started as BL terms, but now they encompass any Character A X Character B pairing. (To my knowledge, anyways.)

        9. John Cabot

          Not exactly, but if I try to describe how it’s a thing with built in ‘personality traits’ and shit my brain starts screaming and I have to go do something else. The uke is meant to be small and weak, the seme big and strong and it’s a very heteronormative porn trope from Japan.

          It keeps getting applied to characters that weren’t designed for it, which leads to things like weepy Iolaus in Hercules’ arms.

          Aw dangit, I explained it anyway.

          See also: Lemons, limes.

        10. StClair

          JC: Just so. It’s “but which one is the man?” all over again. Because actual new, non-binary gender roles would make so many heads asplode.

      2. Noel Schornhorst

        Now I want Mike X Walky to be the next Slipshine thing!

  2. Tunaro

    Even when he’s helping people, Mike can’t stop screwing someone else over.

    1. Nunc Pro Tunc

      And thus the balance of the universe if kept in check.

  3. KingMabel

    In his defense, those DVD’s have the interviews with the cast AND…

    Korean captions.

    1. JustCheetoDust

      Even then, those Korean subtitles are just a hidden distress signal from the overworked animators and not a true translation.

      1. KingMabel

        I can’t think of a number big enough to give you for this…

    2. ZORK

      Wait, the Blu-Rays lack those? Do they come with any other extras instead? I mean, I only have the DVDs because I don’t have a Blu-Ray player (well, except for my PS3, but I use it solely for games).

  4. Wonder Wig

    Mike’s face in the last panel gives me pause … there needs to be snow slowly falling outside.

    1. KingMabel

      Or maybe his shock allowed him to see the word bubble.

    2. LiaHansen

      with a very slight upward tweak of Mike’s eyebrows, that could be the most dramatic panel in DoA history.

      1. StClair

        “I did it thirty-five minutes ago.”

  5. Shanunu

    Classic.

  6. Gram91

    It’s been a while since we’ve had a Mike Moment.

    1. newllend

      We need more of those, we need to see more moments of Mike messing with everybody and I mean everybody.

  7. Gnoka

    Maybe the skateboarders are sale and friends and this is a plan to force walky to patch things up with his sister

    1. Historyman68

      Skateboarders for sale!

  8. newllend

    For a second there I thought he gave them to Joyce, then I thought he would haft to go over to her room to literally fight her over them, then again Joyce looks like she has more muscle mass than him.

    1. JeremiahTheBulldog

      Evidently, you haven’t seen him nude.

  9. Nick Piers

    I don’t know. This seems pretty dickish, even for Mike. Isn’t it?

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      For most people, this is dickishness performed on a level that changed not only their lives, but the lives of those around them.
      For Mike, it is just Tuesday.

      1. Iamnoht

        So did Mike change his last name to Bison?

        1. Alex

          So that’s what the M stands for.

          … Wait, I knew that. Mike Bison was the original name for the boxer character.

    2. Yet_One_More_Idiot

      This is also something very commonly done by many parents of high-school/college-aged students. The moment they go away from home, even for a weekend, throw out all their comics and DVDs that they’ve spent years paying for and patiently collecting, because “now you’re an adult, you don’t need all those childish stories”.

      Many a potentially very valuable comic collection has been lost this way over the decades. My own dad had a largish collection of DC Comics (mostly Superman) from the ’60s. The moment he went away on a school trip for a week, his mum threw his whole collection of “kiddie comics” out.

      This completely ignores not only that such collections can appreciate in value over time, but even the more basic fact of how much money was spent amassing them in the first damn place. xD

      1. begbert2

        The thing I find most appalling about such behavior is a parent stealing and destroying the possessions of their own child. They wouldn’t do that to a stranger; they’d be arrested. If somebody broke into their house and did it to them they’d feel horribly violated. Parents who do this to their kids are both criminals and horrible people.

      2. Historyman68

        But you could argue that the remaining comics wouldn’t be worth as much, maybe not even rare at all, if not for this behavior.

      3. Historyman68

        Maybe the only justified example of this would be in White Teeth: when the kid goes to a book-burning demonstration to burn Salmon Rushdie books (I think), his mom burns all his stuff in the backyard to make a point to him about how wrong it is to burn books.

      4. Roborat

        Yea, my mom let her clients kids (she ran an in house ceramics business) read my comics when I went to university, needless to say, they were shredded. They also destroyed my plastic model collection.

  10. Chrissy

    I don’t understand why people like Mike.

    1. Wack'd

      I prefer Ike, personally.

      1. arank11

        Only true 50’s kids will understand this

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          As a 60s born kid, I also understand it.

        2. Heavensrun

          I’m sorry, I didn’t read any of your words because your avatar makes it impossible to look at them long enough.

        3. Jen Aside

          Words?

        4. JustCheetoDust

          Or anyone who didn’t live under a rock during that weird PR stunt two years ago.

        5. Rutee

          Yer kiddin’ right? They were still selling Mike n’ Ikes when I was a kid, and they were popular enough.

        6. Durandal_1707

          I think arank11 was referring to the Eisenhower’s “I Like Ike” campaign slogan, although the joke he was referring to probably was referencing the candies.

      2. JustCheetoDust

        So did Ice Cube.

        Things could be different now that he’s gone from rapping about malt liquor (and starting rap beef among brands) to having arguments with beer bottles.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      I think they like Mike more for what they remember from SP! than for what he has done in DoA.

      1. Heatth

        I like Mike from DoA before I even read SP!. I just find him funny. Sure, it is not someone you would like to hang out with, but it is certainly entertaining to watch.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I feel that way for a number of characters I have read/watched over the years, they’re awesome from an outsider’s POV but they would be annoying, sometimes even horrible people to actually deal wih on a daily basis.

        2. Rutee

          Most of them would be a huge pain to deal with daily. Mike’s entertaining as a sometimes food though, as an outsider.

          Mind you, while I’m at a loss to understand it, Mike is just another in a long line of folks similar.

    3. newllend

      Everyone like a charismatic asshole for example take: steven Hyde(that’s 70 show) Bender( futurama)kusco(emperors new grove) master shake(ATHF) DEAD POOL! everybody fucking loves Deadpool

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        That’s so true it hurts.

        1. newllend

          I also forgot Blue from foster home, I’m also counting Stewi from family guy for that entire “where’s my money” thing , till this day that is still funny.

        2. Chrissy

          That is a great, true list! But if Mike is being a total jerk to manipulate a situation and have it work out well for people, he shows no indication that’s what he is trying to do. I haven’t read SP! because I want the characters in DOA to stand alone for me, and I think I must be missing some human element with Mike. As far as I can tell, he doesn’t care if his cruelty works out to help people, he is just a huge dick that no one should keep around. If I were Walky I would be submitting a room change request

        3. newllend

          And like the guys I mentioned some of us think some of the things he done has had a reason. if he thinks his actions some how have a good effect on people then he isn’t just an asshole,but if he has no idea that he is secretly helping people find guidance and is just doing all this stuff just because then he’s just a straight up dick or he could be chaotic neutral. Stuff like this is the core of these kind of characters their like antiheroes of comedy.

      2. Annie

        Also Dr. Romano from ER. He was awesome, but it was also kind of awesome and satisfying to see him crushed by a helicopter.

    4. Cloverlock

      I have only followed the DoA universe, and I can safely say that Mike is my favorite character.

      Yes, he is a major asshole, but I firmly believe there is a point to everything he does. His douche bag-ery is not a collection of empty actions. Each one, I believe, can better the person they immediately affect. The problem with this is that we, the audience, are the only ones with a birds-eye view and comprehension of the various lives of these characters, so what he’s doing can not be internalized as a step in the right direction. at least not now.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        A lot of people seem to think that Mike is some kind of Stealth Mentor with an asshole twist but I wonder if he really is or not.

        1. AgentKeen

          It’s just another way that he can be an asshole. You never know if he’s helping or not.

        2. Cloverlock

          As annoying as his methods for mentoring might be, that has to be the answer. I mean, there have been many moments where characters did not reflect on their words or actions until they it was thrown in their face, along with mud, by Mike. We have yet to see him gain anything, even personal enjoyment, from being so hurtful or even brutally honest, leading me to believe that it’s meant to do something to that person, as if Mike is some pampadoured parent scolding his same-age kids for their emotionally-driven or irrational actions towards others.

        3. Annie

          This was great. Some how you found the words to describe how I feel about Mike in the DoA universe without knowing that’s how I felt.

        4. newllend

          its Either a 50% chance he is or 50% chance he’s just on the nose of the problem all the time and he’s being an ass just because.

        5. begbert2

          I don’t believe for an instant that Mike intends to be a stealth mentor. That’s some Draco in Leather Pants level crap there. The guy did not stick his books in Walky’s backpack due to altruism; he did not try to break up Dotty and Walky due to altruism; he did not ignore and quietly accept Ethan’s choice to make Joyce his beard out of altruism. Mike did all this just because people piss him off and he doesn’t care what happens to them. (Even his best friend!)

        6. Cloverlock

          1) In regards to the whole “ignoring the beard” thing, I always just thought that was none of Mike’s business, and that, for lack of a good reason, he has decided to stay out of it for now, a left-field move considering his past actions (or maybe he truly doesn’t think that’s the right move right now, it’s Dave’s story whatever)

          2)I never said that Mike is following some doctrine of Altruism. I am not saying that he is some selfless saint. Far from it, perhaps. I wouldn’t be surprised if later on, we find out he gets some sick pleasure from seeing others reflect on choices they can’t change. what I was arguing is that these moments of dick moves might actually be beneficial to the development of the characters, something I considered when I noticed how the characters took to heart his harsh comments. If they were meant to be the words of just another asshole, I do not believe they would have so much effect.

  11. Wack'd

    Thank what now?

    1. Mr K

      Walky’s an atheist, so I guess he doesn’t want to say god.

      1. begbert2

        But the Cheese is god! …Sort of. In a universe we’re not supposed to talk about here.

      2. Rutee

        …hasn’t he already?

        1. begbert2

          He has. It’s one of those little things that come up when you’re an atheist using a language which has been steeped deeply in a religion for over a millennium. The word “god” means both “any sort of diety”, “that one particular autocratic diety”, and “shit!”; in the latter usage it’s not even a theistic term.

    2. Kelly

      He may not be a real (demi)god on this universe, but that doesn’t mean Walky can’t decide to use the D&MM character name that way.

    3. AgentKeen

      Walky’s mom actually thought the audition was for a Cheezian evangelical video, not that weird little Christian cult.

      1. Bill

        Well, it was a rather cheesy video.
        Or isn’t that quite what you meant?

    4. Annie

      Am I the only one that grew up saying “cheese and rice!” instead of “Jesus Christ!” as a swear word? It took me forever to figure out that the use of “thank cheese” and such that’s often said in the SP! universe wasn’t an extension of “cheese and rice!”

    5. Tobias

      So The Cheese is a character in D&MM? Makes sense.

  12. Kernanator

    On the plus side, those skateboarders are going to have some sick airtime.

    1. Rybridge

      Bu-Dum-Tsh!!!

      1. Kernanator

        D-Did I make a pun unintentionally?

        1. Heavensrun

          If you did, I’m not sure what it is either.

        2. AgentKeen

          TV airtime

          (I did it, I explained the joke, oh no….)

  13. Izumi Ryu

    At least he’s honest about being an ass. Better than you can say about a lot of people.

  14. Mr K

    I bet the skateboarders are Sal, Marcie, Malaya, and Carla.

    1. newllend

      Now thats why I like DoA Mike so much, when the plot needs to speed he is there to do something about it in the best way possible, making it inconvenient for all other characters yet fun to watch for us. Wait Sal doesn’t have a skateboard its probably someone else.

      1. LBD "Nytetrayn"

        Didn’t Marcie have a skateboard?

        1. newllend

          Oh ya.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      I can imagine Sal gaining some measure of pleasure from ruining Walky’s anime DVDs.

      1. newllend

        Do What you want to a man but there are two things you do not FUCK with: his video games and his anime.

      2. begbert2

        Since when is D&MM anime?

        1. Jen Aside

          “Anime”-tion = animated shows => only people outside Japan call Japanese animation “anime”

          SO THAT IS TECHNICALLY CORRECT IN A SENSE I GUESS

        2. Jen Aside

          only people outside Japan call ONLY Japanese animation “anime” dangit missed an only

        3. begbert2

          Is that true? Do english-speaking people residing in Japan and speaking or writing english refer to Ren and Stimpy by the word “anime” in their english sentences?

        4. Chris

          1. I think my brain just exploded. 😛
          2. Not if they’re speaking/writing 100% English. Even though in Japanese “anime” (アニメ) is just an extremely common abbreviation for “animation”, that is not true in English. But people speaking Japanese would call Ren & Stimpy “anime”.

        5. 3oranges

          And panzer is just German for tank, but it would still be really strange to call an American tank a panzer.

  15. MightionNY

    Ah, the return of Mike-sourced dickery. I didn’t realize I missed it until it came back.

  16. Jay Eff

    *reads alt text*

    WALKY: “Oh no! My low-res special features!!!”

    1. KingMabel

      Hey! It included a sneak peak at an upcoming spin-off series.

      That may only get one season.

      1. Jen Aside

        What about the “you have to play a trivia game to unlock the deleted scenes” bit they took out because people watching BDs have better things to do?!

  17. Stephen Bierce

    Time to upgrade to BluRay.

    1. Stephen Bierce

      And I missed the ALT text the first time. Well played, Willis.

  18. arank11

    I kind of feel like this is the most assholish thing Mike’s done in this comic to date. You don’t go around messing with a man’s fandom merch! That’s like if he gave Ethan’s Transformers to a guy to use in his diorama on the history of the potato or something, or gave away Joyce’s… I don’t know. Bible, maybe? You get the point. Never mess with a man’s fandom merch!

  19. JessWitt

    Praise the almighty Cheese!

  20. ShaggyDonahugh

    Ah Mike, destroying other people’s childhood’s and masculinity on a daily basis. What would the universe do without you?

    1. KingMabel

      Have few nickles and more dissatisfied mothers.

      1. Rutee

        p. sure Mike does not mint nickels.

        also so far the only person we’ve seen satisfy a mother sexually is Joe’s Dad (…also named Joe?)

        1. xKiv

          Joe’s Dad’s name’s Richard.

  21. Darth Cariss

    Is this the first time “cheese” has replaced “god” in DoA? I know it’s a staple in your other comics, but I hadn’t noticed it in this one until today’s strip.

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      He was a little churchmouse back in the day.

    2. Gigafreak

      The Cheese might be the Dumbiverse’s equivalent to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, since Walky disbelieves in God.

      1. David

        “Cheese” is an exclamation typical for a Crispian.

    3. jeffepp

      I was surprised to see that I had to scroll down so far for a post on this!

      Ya, it’s a mouse reference. But has Walky been doing that the whole time? Inquiring, but to lazy to go back through the archives, minds want to know!

    4. 3oranges

      I thought maybe Cheese was a Dexter & Monkey Master reference, since they are talking about those DVDs.

      1. Alex

        Well, guess they need a hero to go against the villain protagonists. Then again, don’t think they need a hero to foil their schemes.

        I’d compare them to Pinkie and the Brain, but Dexter and Monkey Master don’t really line up with them well.

    5. John

      For the uninitiated: The Cheese was an entity of tremendous cosmic power in It’s Walky!, and some of the characters took to swearing by him where others might say, “Jeez” or “Jesus”, and some have carried the habit forward into Shortpacked!.

      (To quote Walky on the subject of God: “His name is the Cheese an’ he kicked my butt.”)

      I’m pretty sure this is the first time anyone in the Dumbiverse has said it. I think it’s unlikely to be a churchmouse reference; more probably the Cheese is a character in D&MM as he was in IW!, and Walky’s referencing that.

  22. Tealjoy

    Wait is Walky and Joyce really the only one’s who haven’t figured out how Mike is?

  23. Black Bumblebee

    Mike’s right arm looks sort of odd in the last panel, as if it’s going straight down but also pulling back the curtain at the same time. Three arms, perhaps?

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      It would explain Walky’s shocked expression.

    2. horrorshow88

      Desk or some other sort of college dorm furniture in the background, below his sleeve.

  24. Ashley

    Yeah, Walky seems like he’d be fun to tease.

  25. Idon'tcarenomore

    Mike is a force of nature. He arrives, he screws you over, he’s gone.

    I agree that for the most part, Mike doesn’t seem to get any sort of gain from what he does. But, the ones he screws over eventually do come to appreciate/hate him for what he does.

    He pulled off a beautiful 4 way back in his Semme days. Never been equaled.

    Today, yup, it’s gotta be Sal’s crew riding the ramp over Walky’s DvD’s. A sort of poetic justice?
    Looks like Walky may be feeling a bit of what Sal felt when she gave up and walked out of the dorms on Parents Day, the day her mother never seemed to notice she was in the room, and her dad said she looked better with straight hair?

    1. Chris

      Surely Mike gets a strong sense of satisfaction from doing what absolutely needed to be done. Hand of God type stuff.

  26. Quiwi

    Ah! Mike is still Mike.

  27. Shade

    I’m confused with Mike’s expression. It’s…..unusually soft for the subject matter. I don’t want to say that he almost looks like he regrets doing it, but…….

  28. WingedBeast

    Uh, Mike, bad move. I know you’re all sociopathic sadist ‘n all, but this could actually get you a law suit, real consequences you can’t get out of. Literally destruction of property.

    That or just plain murder… ’cause, really, if you knew Mike personally, wouldn’t the thought strike you that it’s just saving more lives down the line?

    1. begbert2

      He (and Joyce) managed to get away with repeated and severe acts of physical assault, so I don’t think this will be a problem for him.

  29. Pan

    Oh Mike, I missed you

  30. Blue

    All of you commentators are awesome.

  31. Pyr05

    That last panel: The most stoic you will ever see from Mike.

    1. hof1991

      Mike with the trap fully sprung and as much at peace as he gets.

      1. AgentKeen

        -5 seconds past- Welp, time to go screw with Ethan.

  32. CianM1301

    Damn, Mike. That’s downright cruel. I know you’re an asshole, but still. That’s just pushing the envelope.

  33. Katosen27

    Ah Mike, never change.

    Also, to those who think he’s crossed the line…you don’t know Mike, do you? This is nothing.

  34. GrandSavage

    I feel a little uncomfortable knowing I’ve seen both their Junk

  35. Van Jealous

    We’ve missed you, Mike. Welcome back!

  36. Valmore

    Yay! Mike’s back! Finally!

  37. hof1991

    Thanks Mike. Needed a break from all the feels.

    1. Bilfred

      Danke.

  38. Yatsude Hatte

    …is it me, or does Mike look like a pre-steroids Johnny Bravo here?

    1. Jack Finch

      Oh….God.

      1. Marc in MN

        You’ve seen it….now you can’t un-see it!

    2. StClair

      Hoo ha!

  39. Clif

    You realize that Mike is still messing with his mind, don’t you. He hasn’t given the DVDs away at all. Why make the effort when you can get just as much mileage out of his repeated belief that you’ve gotten rid of them just because you’ve said so. You get to savor his anguish again and again.

    It’s only when you reach the point of desensitization that you really get rid of them.

    1. Bill

      Of course not.  For Mike to give away Walky’s DVDs to prop up a skateboarder’s ramp means that, even though he was being an asshole to Walky, he was being nice to someone else.  And from what I’ve seen in the Dumbiverse, Mike just doesn’t roll that way.

      1. cesium133

        Ah, but that’s the genius of the plan! The DVD cases will be too weak to hold the ramp up against the force of the skaters on it, so it will collapse under them.

  40. Sanguine Cavalier

    Was quite confused by many of these comments until I realised that SP! was not, in fact, a typo of S*P. It’s extra confusing because apparently Mike is webcomic shorthand for “a-hole, probably with blond hair”

    1. John

      CRFH’s Mike has black hair. And Between Failures’ isn’t even an asshole!

      And, yeah, punctuation is important. SP! is Shortpacked!, S*P is Something Positive.

      Amazi-Girl/Pythagorean team-up?

      1. xKiv

        Captain Mike also isn’t an asshole.

  41. scabbert

    I realize that this is not true and Mike is just stringing him along, but this is the first setup where I can imagine Mike getting legit knocked on his ass for his shenanigans. You don’t mess with Walky’s cartoons. You don’t even joke about it.

  42. MrSirk

    Mike is such a kind man helping those skateboarders.

  43. Dantas

    What is SP! I get the sense that it is another comic that I would probably enjoy…

    1. Jason

      shortpacked.com. It’s another universe with the same characters. Prepare to be confused.

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