141

Muster
Posted on April 21, 2014 by David M Willis

141 thoughts on “Muster”

  1. Jen Aside

    Dorothy will be a reproductive president…?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      And thus, Dotty will be destined to become the first Atheist Pro-Life Feminist President. :3

      1. hoovy_woopeans

        lol if you think Dorothy would be pro-life

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          At the very least she might feel the need to create a baby boom to deal with the aging population.

        2. cooledd4

          “Will our president need to take time off?” We will find out next in bias news at 11

        3. The Candyman

          Suddenly World Peace has a downside.

    2. Michael Steamweed

      Ah, but will President Dorothy need to take maternity leave? Will the Vice President take over her duties? For how long? And she’ll have her job when she returns from leave, right?

      1. Ghola

        That’s the job of the vice president, to make sure the very idea of displacing the president is such a terrifying idea no one dares to try it.

        Worked for Teddy Roosevelt.

  2. Mr. Random

    STRICT SCHEDULING IS KEY!

  3. Kernanator

    Once you pop, the fun don’t stop.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      So Dotty becomes a breeder? Malaya will become her rival for sure. 😛

  4. Doctor_Who

    Does she leave the glasses on during sex because she’s in a hurry, or because glasses are totally hot?

    1. Yotomoe

      Because if she took them off, Walky would have no idea who this blonde chick on top of him is.

    2. Dr. Zeus

      Depending on how bad her eyes are it could be ’cause Walky’s totally hot.

    3. Maveric1984

      Ok, I’m a dude, but I leave my glasses on during sex because I like being able to see what I’m doing. I’ve never been with a girl who also wore glasses, but I would expect them to wear them as well.

      1. Nakari

        Male, been with a girl with glasses. We both took ours off. To not go horribly detailed: When one of you is leaning down, they begin slipping. Especially if you’re sweating.

        This is not a good thing.

        1. gka

          Yeah, they just end up falling off at the most inconvenient times. And when the kissing starts to get confused and intense, if both of you are wearing them, that can lead to collisions.

        2. garaden

          Yep. Tink!

          …and now I’m imagining two gay guys “swordfighting”, complete with sound effects…

        3. Kernanator

          And now I’m imagining two gay guys “swordfighting” while quoting The Princess Bride…

          “You are wonderful!”

          “Thank you. I’ve worked hard to become so.”

          “I admitted you are better than I am.”

          “Then why are you smiling?”

          “Because I know something you don’t know.”

          “What’s that?”

          “I am not left-handed!”

        4. Ivan

          Glad I missed the movie AND your twist of imagination!!

        5. Kernanator

          I’m sorry, I’m trying to figure out what you’re saying and having trouble with it.

        6. Ghola

          You’ve.. You’ve never seen Princess Bride?!

          God, that’s right isn’t it..
          All those great movies were never part some of your childhoods…
          You poor, poor bastards..

        7. ocbrad1

          And Kern has forever changed my perception of that movie!

      2. TCS

        What if she’s nearsighted?

  5. aaaaaaaa

    Walky preforms another sex. And another.

    1. The Cozburger

      Yeah, the novelty’s definitely wearing off, now…

      1. JeffEpp

        That’s not the impression that I’m getting.

  6. David Herbert

    Hope they bought some more condoms or are they still using the amazi-ones?

    1. Yotomoe

      They ran out of Amazi-condoms. Now they’re using Fantasti-condoms.

    2. Doctor_Who

      They got new ones. While condoms that render you immune to criticism are great confidence boosters when you’re new to this, if you stick with them how are you ever going to improve?

    3. Maveric1984

      Either way, The Great and Powerful Willis has said that Dorothy is on the pill.

      Plus, it’s not hard to get condoms for free on a college campus.

      1. Equuizzicals

        relevant?
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/04-the-bechdel-test/planned/

        1. Sir Robin

          That was my assumption

        2. Jen Aside

          I’m tempted to make that jingle… =|

          [nah]

  7. -JAD-

    It’s his weenus / it’s his fire / and your desire…

    1. burntnorris

      My god.

    2. brionl

      Dorothy on Walkie atop
      Burning like a caramel flame

      1. Jen Aside

        Libido of unscheduled love
        His weenus was insane

  8. Plasma Mongoose

    *Reads ALTTEXT* Reproductivity huh? mhmmmmmmm!

    1. begbert2

      It’s not about having babies, it’s about being productive a second time!

  9. newllend

    The fall of Dorothy.

  10. rhelmot

    That’s one hell of a title-text callback!

  11. Yotomoe

    Walky: The 15 Minute-Man.

  12. Maveric1984

    Fifteen minutes eh? I know I lasted a very different amount of time when I was new to the thumpaspring. Perhaps Dorothy is good at teaching foreplay.

    1. Bill

      If Dorothy can save fifteen minutes by just “holding it”, I’m just trying to figure out what all she has to do when she takes a bathroom break.

      1. Dr. Zeus

        The same thing as everyone else. Mobile games.

        1. Maveric1984

          Reddit

  13. 3oranges

    These panels just hide too much! Will we ever find out exactly what are they supposed to like the IMU on?

    1. Doctor_Who

      Fazbook.

      1. JustCheetoDust

        That’s where you go to get poked. Constantly.

        1. Roborat

          And charts, don’t forget the charts.

    2. Maveric1984

      Bookface, YourSpace, and Gaggle +

      1. Jen Aside

        Titter

  14. Wonder Wig

    I’m imagining The Pursuit of Happiness with schedule sexy times.

  15. Equuizzicals

    Walky performs a sex 2: this time it’s personal.

    followed by Walky performs a sex in space and Walky performs a beatdown of Freddy Kruger and then a fourth sex.

    1. Yotomoe

      Walky Performs a Sex 2: Electric Boogaloo.

      1. Maveric1984

        Dotty might like an electric boogaloo, makes for some good vibrations.

      2. Bill

        That wasn’t funny yesterday either.

        1. Yotomoe

          Counterpoint: It’s always funny.

      3. Kernanator

        Walky Performs a Sex 2: Sex Harder.

      4. Gigafreak

        Sex and bathrooms. Bugger loo.

    2. Maveric1984

      Walky Performs a Sexs?

      Doesn’t really work like “Aliens” did.

      How about “Look Who’s Performing a Sex Too”?

      1. Jerden

        Gramatically, I believe it should be “Walky Performs Sexes”.
        It’s still not a good title, but at least it’s a grammatically correct bad title!

    3. Doom Shepherd

      Walky Performs a Sex III… In 3D!

    4. Rabid Rabbit

      Walkyfans perpetuate a linguistic cancer, Part MMMCDXCV.

    5. John

      Maybe it’s Dorothy’s turn to do the performing.

  16. Plasma Mongoose

    I like to think that Dotty recorded the sex and is now watching it in the last panel so she can show it to Joyce.

    1. newllend

      Wow that’s twisted…. Again your ok in my book.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Kiitti ^_^ I try my best.

    2. Dr. Zeus

      “To answer you’re earlier question Joyce, this is what sex is like.”

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Internets for you! ^_^

    3. JustCheetoDust

      Alternative: post-coital selfie.

  17. Maveric1984

    Just so long as Dotty remembers to pee before she goes. Don’t want a UTI!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Unless she wants to ‘shower’ Walky off first.

      1. itsAlana

        1. ew
        2. what the hell, dude.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          1. I know it is but I couldn’t resist posting it.

          2. It helps if you don’t visualise it.

        2. JustCheetoDust

          1. You’re doing ‘s work.

          2. Funny story related to that second point: Silence was ruined for me when Dave Attell once said “Then it got quiet…you know the kind of quiet right before a hooker takes a piss on you?”

        3. JustCheetoDust

          * God’s work. Or (insert other deity’s name here)’s work.

        4. Maveric1984

          Hey, each to his or her own. Some people like that kind of stuff. At least it’s not scat.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          The only theory I can think of as to way some people get off on things like peeing and scat is the relief you feel after holding it in foor so long can feel a lot like climaxing.

        6. Drunken Nordmann

          Still doesn’t explain what the one being peed on gains from that.

        7. JustCheetoDust

          Maybe he’s just trying to be a (water)sport about letting a girl pee on him.

          Oh wait, you’re mean people who actually enjoy that and not Walky. I can’t help you in that case.

      2. Reflex76

        That would be golden!

    2. Don't Mind Me

      Aren’t you supposed to pee *after*?

  18. OsoPescado

    Walky performs another sex :3

  19. Next Strip...

    Dorothy Um… Holds It and Everything Cancels Out

    1. Roborat

      Dorothy holds it and gets a UTI?

  20. indignostudios

    What if Walky wants her to mix a bathroom break and fun times?

  21. Lizardizzle

    Dorothy noo, your studies!

    Aw fuck ‘im.

  22. JA

    Sexytime will not be denied.

  23. XMinusOne

    Fifteen minutes? Aw, c’mon guys, you can do lots better than that. Rumpy-pumpy should never be scheduled, unless you’re married with small children.

    1. Woahheynow

      Hey, you only need five minutes if you know what you’re doing.

      1. NotFred

        In my experience the more you know, the more you go 🙂

  24. John

    So am I the only one who finds institutions and corporations and whatnot begging to be “liked” to be really pathetic?

    1. Jerden

      They’re just searching for love and approval!

  25. MightionNY

    “Reproductivity”? Boy, it almost sounds like Willis is hinting that Dorothy might get pregnant, throwing a wrench into her carefully laid (pun intended) plans! But then, Wills would never do that, EVER. 😀

    1. David M Willis

      I wouldn’t.

      Not going to happen.

      1. MightionNY

        I am both relieved and disappointed at the same time. 😀

        1. stewbacca

          I am relieved– just because then we will be stuck with endless abortion debates all over this comic- and I think at that point I would just bow out– there is no humor in those arguments..

    2. TheStranger

      There’d be no point unless he decided he wanted these characters to age after all (which he has repeatedly and adamantly said won’t happen).

      Until or unless that changes, pregnancy would end up being an eternal storyline, and I don’t think Willis wants to write The Neverending Baby Bump.

      Or to hire Limahl to sing the theme song.

      1. Megatron

        I don’t even want to think about how long it’d go on. It could be like, three years before she’d even suspect she was pregnant because her period’s late. A late period storyline could take the better part of six months.

        Willis would 90 years old before she started showing.

        Oh, and it’s been played to death and is kind of pointless.

        1. Rutee

          Also, results in more fleshlings.

      2. begbert2

        Given the rate the comic is advancing through in-universe time, I’m not sure we’d notice them aging.

    3. GhostWriterL

      Dorothy might be horny as hell but I highly doubt she’d let Walky get away with going bareback. She also, like many college age women, might be on birth control because 1) it’s convenient to not have to deal with all the monthly BS that a menstrual cycle brings with it, 2) she normally has very painful or debilitating cycles, possibly 3) being rather fair skinned, possibly takes it to reduce or eliminate acne breakouts, or any other number of medical reasons. Wanting sex doesn’t mean your IQ automatically drops by 100 points.

      1. A

        Facts.

  26. Kelly

    Welp, back to slipshine I go.

  27. Animal

    Only fifteen minutes?

    Hah. Amateurs.

    1. The Candyman

      They’re young, give ’em a break.

    2. Roborat

      Who said they only did it once?

  28. T Campbell

    “LIKE IMU ON FACEBOOK! LIIIIIIIIIKE US! We don’t CARE if we’re participating in the co-opting of the simple word “like” by a corporate behemoth, we don’t care if we sound like desperate teenage stalkers, we just (sob sob sob) we KNOW we’re not that popular with The Kids but we need to LOOK popular so we can get the alumni fundraising and the tuition money WE HAVE TO WIN AT SOCIAL MEDIAAAAAAA– WE HAVE TO! LIKE US, LIKE US, LIKE US YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BRATS”

    1. Animal

      Wha?

      1. Amazi-Stool

        Take a closer look at panel 1!

        Also:
        “Stop co-opting the language!”

        Relying on the dictionary definition?

        How “unconventional.”

        1. Animal

          Yeah – maybe a tiny bit disproportionate on that response.

  29. MO

    Are those the lust wolves I hear a-howling?

    1. Maveric1984

      AWOOOOOOOOO!

      1. Saintslayer

        Made me think of Werewolves of London.

        1. Maveric1984

          Hey there little red riding hood…

  30. Suzushiiro

    COMING SOON TO SLIPSHINE: “WALKY PERFORMS A QUICKIE”

    1. Gigafreak

      Walky was henceforth known as Runny

      1. Ivan

        That was pretty good!

        Plus… he might be running down her leg too!

        1. Maveric1984

          +1, did forcefully eject air through my nostrils.

        2. Roborat

          Awww, nobody liked it when I made that joke the first time they did it.

        3. Maveric1984

          Sorry, I don’t read the comments every day.

          Ya know, sometimes I miss the old forums…

    2. Maveric1984

      Nah, they went back to the dorm,got naked, and got in bed for this. That’s not a quicky. A quicky would be if they found a quiet spot in the stacks of the library, dropped their pants to theor knees, and pulled the panties to the side.

      Honestly, one of my regrets of college is that I never got to try this…

      1. Ivan

        Strangely, one of MY regrets is that I didn’t HAVE to (I ended up marrying her too), but I COULD have, but it just would have likely been met with “Hey! 5 minutes to the room, and it’s open season!” — which, actually, isn’t the point.

        Divorced her tho… now I just need a new 19 year old! Can I still do that 30 years later? Hefner does!!

  31. Jeremy

    15 minutes? not bad walky, not bad at all…

  32. Kschenke

    Hey, props to Walky for acknowledging that Dorothy has other things to do and supporting her need to stay up with her school stuff. I know we’re making sex jokes mostly in the comments, but it shows that Walky is actually thinking about what Dorothy wants to do and not just what he wants to do with her.

    1. Ivan

      Sucker!! That is just playing hard to get! You broads fall for it every time!!

      😀

  33. Roborat

    Meanwhile Sierra is sitting at her desk with an uncomfortable look on her face.

    1. Chris Phoenix

      +1, burst out laughing in the middle of Starbucks

      1. Roborat

        Yay me!

  34. Charles Phipps

    I wonder if Dorothy will be heartbroken or if she already knows that becoming President will depend less on her grades than how much money she’ll be able to raise by pandering to special interests. Oh and having a good head of hair.

    1. timemonkey

      She needs the grades to get to the better school.

  35. Sir Robin

    15? Damn Walky …

  36. Sir Robin

    Looks at poll to the right … Malaya????

    1. John

      She’s already made an appearance.

      1. Sir Robin

        Oh yeah, I remember noticing that but never knew there was an official tag

  37. StClair

    Dorothy had her own plans all drawn out, but now her… “caramel cravings” are shaking and erasing them…

  38. leadsynth

    I can’t be the only person who noticed that Dotty’s shirt collar has somehow changed to plain white. It was purple plaid before…

    1. George

      It still looks pink to me, the plaid just comes and goes.

  39. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

    Damnit, Dorothy. Don’t say that sort of thing while aroused. That’s how you end up with weird fetishes.

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