130

Mutually
Posted on June 11, 2012 by David M Willis

130 thoughts on “Mutually”

  1. Jen Aside

    Whoops?

    1. NCP19

      http://www.sadtrombone.com/ (sorry, but I had to)

  2. Mkvenner

    No, emotional bombshell was a dud and misfired.

  3. NCP19

    But…the only way to win is not to play!

    1. Kernanator

      Billie would much prefer a game of Tic-Tac-Toe to what she’s experiencing now.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        The best way to win Tic-tac-Toe is to be the first player and hope the other guy screws up.

        1. gangler

          That would’ve been a fun twist. The boy screws up and the computer learns that the only way to win is through a pre-emptive strike.

        2. Mute

          Like this, perhaps? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFCOapq3uYY

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Exactly like that, what they need to do to settle matters now is to have a showdown via the Ultimate Staring Contest.

  4. Wonder Wig

    Too bad Billie didn’t find more skeletons while in that closet.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      If she did, she wouldn’t feel as boned as she does right now.

    2. fellixe

      Well played!

  5. addude

    Point set match. Game Ruth. If she’s lying extra points for cunning.

    1. NCP19

      “Oh, and now we play the game of who had the worse dad?”
      “My dad’s dead.”
      “Classic!”
      “No, he’s seriously dead.”
      “Hilarious!”
      “He died of a heart attack last year.”
      “…I’m sorry for your loss.”

      1. Joe H

        I’ve done that once. It made work incredibly awkward for the rest of the night.

        1. addude

          A guys walked up to me and played a sound bite of a woman moaning and he said that my mom with him last night. Complete jerk never saw him before he was just being a jerk. Straight faced I said my mom died two months ago and he and he’s friends jaws dropped. I walked away selling it like a boss. My mom is okay. That’s how you do it.

        2. StClair

          I buried my mother’s ashes today.
          Do I win?

        3. madd

          Selling it would have involved punching the guy in the face and yelling “My mom is dead, asshole!”

        4. Osaru Sensei

          MY PARENTS ARE DEEAAAAAAD!!!

          I’m a horrible, horrible person. 😐

  6. David Herbert

    And now they’re gonna get drunk together and bond. And people will write slash fics about it.

    1. Splash*Boogie

      Mmmm Ruth/Billie? I can dig it!

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      …and it will be called Blackmail Shipping.

  7. iSaidCandleja-

    Don’t believe it Billie, that’s the oldest trick in the book! Just don’t blame me when you call her bluff.

    1. Rex Hondo

      What, you think Ruth is pulling a Wheaton’s Nana Gambit?

  8. Bunk

    Should have kept your mouth shut Billie. Don’t mess with Ruth’s Lady Balls.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      You just said a mouthful. 😀

    2. Cheredarenee

      we call them ovaries, thanx

      1. Andiemus

        Obviously Billie doesn’t.

  9. Rex Hondo

    Man, Billie. First Amazi-Girl, and now this. For a journalism student, you’re really rotten about actually doing any research.

    1. Charles RB

      That’s true – does she actually care about the course? (Or would that interfere with valuable WAAAAA I WAS A CHEERLEADER time?)

    2. AndrewFoose

      Of course. Why should she waste her time on things that aren’t her?

  10. Doctor_Who

    “Lady balls”? See, that doesn’t strike me as something an actual lady would say. It’s more like something I would say and then regret severely.

    1. Yotomoe

      Are you implying that Billie is an actual Lady?

      1. Krashthemystro

        no she’s a cheer leader

        1. Wack'd

          “But”, not “no”.

      2. Ancestral Hamster

        To paraphrase, “That was no lady, that was Billie!”

    2. WhiteEyedCat

      As a lady (I’ve got a card and everything) I can assure you that the term “Lady balls” is quite often tossed around, and considered complimentary…for some people.

    3. kyface

      female here — would just say balls (no “lady” with it) whether or not the owner has them

      1. kyface

        “alleged owner” …. derp

  11. Krashthemystro

    well fuck.

  12. Plasma Mongoose

    Her step-father then?

  13. Yotomoe

    when you assume you make an ass out of Uma Thurman.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Which is a lot harder than making a horse out of Sarah Jessica Parker.

      1. Hiredg00n

        or a Platypus out of Pauly Perrette

        1. Kernanator

          Or a dick out of Mel Gibson.

        2. pan_dim_onium

          C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!!

          Sorry, always wanted to do that.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Do you feel better now for doing so?

  14. Sensedog

    Oddly, these two could end up as friends. Hey, stranger things have happened.

  15. Khantalas

    Well, well, well. What *is* Ruth’s big secret, then?

    1. Yotomoe

      She’s Mike in drag.

    2. Rognik

      An Electra complex?

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      That she’s Amazi-Girl’s arch-nemesis.

    4. Gundi

      I’m guessing Ruth has a couple of ’em. Most people do.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I keep mine in a deep hole in the middle of the bush, like all smart killers. 😛

    5. Wack'd

      The Shadow knows.

    6. BOB

      Her father is dead and the “sir” in her life, whether stepfather or guardian, is abusive and controlling. Thus driving her to drink.

      1. secret

        it’s totes her Dominant.

        1. Andiemus

          There is no way in he’ll that Ruth is a sub.

        2. Andiemus

          There is no way in hell that Ruth is a sub.

        3. Khantalas

          You’de be surprised. Not to be profiling or whatever, but people highly aggressive and dominant outside the bedroom have a strange tendency to be subs inside the bedroom.

        4. Giovanni

          I second this – it was the first thing I thought when rereading her phone conversation.

  16. Wack'd

    Ruth, you have no right to call anyone an asshole. Ever.

    I mean it. EVER.

    Unless Billie personally killed your father. (In which case she should prepare to die. And so forth.)

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It’s her right as an American citizen to call someone an asshole, it’s written in the Bill of Rights IIRC.

      1. Yotomoe

        She could also call her an african snowball princess. I dunno why…but she could. god bless america.

      2. Alex Stritar

        *Looks through Bill of Rights*

        Huh, what do you know, it is. Also, according to the Constitution, the Vice Presedent’s jobs are being the tie braking vote in the senate and protector of the Space-Time Continuum. Are we sure our founding fathers weren’t drunk when they were making these documents that created the foundation of our country?

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Bring drunk was normal cack then, maybe they were high at the time.

        2. Yotomoe

          Abraham Lincoln was far too busy fighting vampires to pay attention to what he was signing.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Abe was alive when they wrote the Bill of Rights?

        4. Yotomoe

          Abraham Lincoln has always been. He died for our sins and rose 3 days later.

        5. Gundi

          No, see, Abraham Lincoln was the 22nd Doctor. And also will be. Time is complicated.

        6. Aizat

          And then he became a vampire hunter and fought alongside the Belmont family.

        7. Andiemus

          I don’t think Sam Adams spent 15 minutes sober between his 14th birthday and his death.

        8. Rex Hondo

          No, but I’m pretty sure that saw Gary Seven in one of those paintings of the Continental Congress.

        9. Plasma Mongoose

          OOOOL Obscure ST:TOS reference.

        10. Ancestral Hamster

          Yeah, dayuuum.

        11. Rex Hondo

          Not that obscure. I mean, Assignment: Earth. Back-in-the-day Teri Garr? Mrowww.

          Or maybe I’m just old…

        12. Plasma Mongoose

          Obscure by modern standards.

        13. Rex Hondo

          Not helping on the “feeling old” front, there, Mongoose. 😛

      3. Splash*Boogie

        Article II, Section 3
        Fuck you Hamilton. You’re an asshole and will never be president.

        -Thomas Jefferson

        1. Yotomoe

          Article VI, section 4
          I get to write my name first guys. I promise I’ll leave space

          -John Hancock

  17. Kernanator

    This… could have gone better.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It is likely going to get worse, I seen this trope in action too many times to believe otherwise.

      1. Kernanator

        Of course! After all, Billie hasn’t finished digging her own grave yet.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          If you give someone a shovel, they will bury YOU with it, that’s what my grandpappy used to always say.

        2. pan_dim_onium

          I’d say something about your grandpappy, but I fear the ironic rebuttle of his recent death

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Recent? He died decades ago.

  18. WhiteEyedCat

    Oh Billy, never tell people that you’ve been hiding in their closet. They start checking and then you have to find a new spot.

    1. Khantalas

      Speaking from experience there, sir?

      1. WhiteEyedCat

        Of course not, I am certainly not typing this from underneath your bed. That is a ridiculous accusation.

        1. Khantalas

          …my bed is welded into the floor. There are no breathing holes. How are you still alive?

        2. WhiteEyedCat

          I’m secretly Leslie’s gooey pink cat, I need nothing so mortal as oxygen.

    2. Jackson

      Billie is not really good at maintaining an advantage.

  19. Uniqueantique

    Humm..and the games afoot. Interesting. As an investigative reporter, Billie makes a good tightrope walker. If Ruth is lying…then who was on the phone….curiouser and curiouser.
    I can see them as friends, they are both crazy as shit house rats and just as self absorbed.

  20. Brasca1

    Maybe not her Dad, but whoever it was they have enough hold over Ruth to compell her to drink and now that Billie knows it’s not Ruth’s father she can narrow down the choices further.

    That is if Ruth is telling the truth and if so I wonder how he died.

    1. Riku

      It could be her brother? He might be much different in this universe.

      1. Aydr

        Nah, not the brother we know at least. Nobody’s been THAT different in this series so far, and not only that but Howard’s her younger brother- not a chance she’d be calling him ‘sir’, no matter what.

  21. Ridureyu

    Lost a parent way too recently to be able to take this comic.

  22. Kernanator

    No punchline to see here folks. Move along.

    1. Splash*Boogie

      I’m just waiting for the punch.

  23. Janette

    Cue Batman: “My parents are dead!” reference.

    1. Kernanator

      Wait.

      Does that mean…?

      HOLY COW GUYS, RUTH IS AMAZI GIRL!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Then who on Earth is Sal supposed to be?

        1. ryan

          it depends which earth you’re talking about

      2. Rex Hondo

        Nah, Ruth is too axe crazy. If anything, she’s the Prometheus, or maybe the Hush to Amazi-Girl’s Batman.

  24. Aydr

    With these two, everything is spiked.

    1. Yotomoe

      Billie spikes her beer with beer.

  25. Aizat

    Remember my theory way back then the guy on the phone was Ruth’s father? No? Good!

  26. Flimsyfishy

    And boom goes the dynamite…

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      The sound effect you were looking for was *fizzle*

  27. FAKE

    THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

  28. phlebas

    It’s still possible that was her dad on the phone. It’s possible that was the last time they spoke. That would warrant some serious drinking.

  29. Steverino

    “vise”

  30. Nav

    …Really, nobody has come up with the possibility that her dad was in the service and was just KIA. The “Sir” in question being a Company Chaplain or Commanding Officer?

    1. narmenduke

      Unless Ruth herself is in the military, she wouldn’t be obligated to call the chaplain or CO “sir” (although she might just choose to do so out of respect, I suppose). And I don’t see why either of these figures would be chewing her out to the point of making her cry.

  31. Charles RB

    ….oh dear.

  32. Fata Morgana

    So, I don’t like Billie or Ruth. I dislike them by a lot, in fact. Is this the expected reaction?

  33. artemi71

    …Yep.

    I’m officially done with Billie.

    1. Historyman68

      to make it official, you’ll have to fill out form 22B, and sign… here… here… annnnnnd initial here.

      Thank you!

  34. Hitoshi

    haha, how awkward.

  35. Jererry

    And Billie continues to hold the Championship Belt for “Worst Person in DOA Universe.” I bet her Dad is proud.

  36. Gargamel

    See: Ruth versus Billie!
    Which clinically overgrown super ego will win?

  37. Lis

    Billie is in a slightly tighter spot I think (though I’m not sure all that Ruth would have to admit to give up her info) in order to give the information she would have to, as she has right now, admit to breaking into her RA’s room and hiding in her closet for hours, knowing Billie she would probably spill that she stole the liquor as well just because she bumbles like that.

  38. G.G.

    wait wait wait. Then what was the “Yes, I am sorry to disappoint, sir all about. 0_o

  39. Keulan

    This is Ruth we’re talking about. She could be lying to screw with Billie even more.

    1. AndrewFoose

      I approve this theory.

  40. Brady Kj

    Why did Billie assume Ruth has issues with her father? In what universe has anyone ever called their father “sir”? Sounds like she was insulted by her boss or a near stranger. Probably her boss.

    1. joequincy

      Methinks you had a normal father. I don’t claim not to have, but at least one of my friends calls their father “sir”… and so do I, because YOU DO NOT F*** with that man, and that’s what he demands.

      Unfortunately, some people just have controlling parents. :/
      If they’re lucky, they can survive it without any deep emotional troubles showing up.

  41. LiC

    Yeah, Billie didn’t think this through. The booze thing, can of course be used against Ruth, because that’s against the school rules.

    The attempt at using Ruth’s emotional issues against her however… yeah, that’s not going to scare Ruth off. After all, what would that information do against Ruth? Most likely it would get her sympathy from other people or provoke her to become even more aggressive. It would basically be poking an already psychotic and blood thirst bear with a stick, and then teaching that bear to use a rifle and standing before a big bulls-eye.

  42. KKoro

    The “Latest” button is only going forward a few on the last few pages.

  43. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

    So Ruth is Amazi-Girl…

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