165

Nethers
Posted on August 31, 2011 by David M Willis

165 thoughts on “Nethers”

  1. Doctor_Who

    Joe’s new nickname is “Little Dick Monster”. It is decided.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I’m not so sure he will still like it as much if everyone started to refer to him as the LITTLE Dick Monster.

      1. Ancestral Hamster

        Drop the “monster”, just call him “Little Dick.”

        1. David Herbert

          What about little Joe?

        2. wandering meme

          wait…is He little or is…”HE” little???

        3. wandering meme

          Specificity!

        4. Name

          Well, we all know Joe’s big. Little Joe (thank God) hasn’t shown up in a strip.

        5. wandering meme

          Also, she’s really pushing for those votes, huh?

    2. David

      “Dickmonster.” The lack of space is important.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Like the Cookiemonster?

        1. wererat2000

          yes. a cookiemonster of dicks.

        2. Tristan J

          Om nom nom nom nom.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          I wonder if THAT was on the video.

        4. Sjosten

          This conversation became incredibly awkward for Joe as soon as Plasma brought up CookieMonster. Cool. I mean, how many times does a Sesame Street character lead to a sex tape reference?

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          I don’t know why exactly, but this comment warms my black heart.

        6. Clang

          I believe you mean cockmonster

        7. Jimmy

          As long as no one declares dicks a ‘sometimes food’ everything should be alright.

        8. Plasma Mongoose

          @Jimmy: Does that include Spotted Dick?

        9. icepyrox

          Is it irony that in a comic strip with a person forgiving little dickmonsters for violating nether regions and upholding family values, a commenter has the gravatar of said person and replies “Om nom nom nom nom” to “a cookiemonster of dicks.”? Or is there a better word?

      2. Magnus369

        All that came to mind was… No space for the dickmonster… suddenly goes from insult to freaky. Much approved!

    3. wandering meme

      Vote DeSanto!

      She forgives all the nether defiling little dickmonsters!

      1. Rikushadow5

        I’m dead serious about that, Willis. I’d buy “Vote DeSanto!” Badges.

    4. wandering meme

      @Doctor Who:
      Thus it is spoken. So let it be done.

      Accordingly, all references to being “Joe’d” shall henceforth be changed to being “little dickmonstered”.

  2. Jen Aside

    “So does the internet!”

    teh intarwebz knows ALL

    1. Jen Aside

      I’m going to guess the ticklish spot is in her pants, by the way.

      1. Cha

        I bet it’s her nethers.

        1. wandering meme

          not anymore. they’re probably numb thanks to the nether-defiling little dickmonster.

      2. Cope

        So….her knee pits, then?

    2. Greg

      I’m secretly checking this comic while waiting for a meeting to start and the “So does the internet” line almost made me burst out laughing.

  3. Plasma Mongoose

    THE INTERNET KNOWS ALL!

    1. Kernanator

      It sees you when you’re sleeping. It knows when you’re awake. It knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good or GTFO.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        “4chan is coming TO TOWN!”

        1. begbert2

          And there goes the neighborhood!

  4. Mkvenner

    Family Values my arse.

    Well its more family values than Warren Jeffs and the FLSD have. Ha!

    1. No

      Hey now, the FLSD has wincest, the epitome of family values.

  5. A. Colunga

    Looks like ending up on the internet is a family curse.

  6. Leon

    I’m going to guess thar Roz’s plan (if she had one) didn’t come together.

    1. DaJoshMaster

      I’m sure there was coming somwhere down the line! 😛

  7. Deuecebag

    Haha, nethers, I’m so going to start saying that in everyday conversation.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      You mean conversation like “Mike did your mum in her nethers and stuck a nickel up there.” 😛

      1. iSaidCandleja-

        Woah, that is NOT cool. Aside from sounding down right painful, it makes me think of arcade games. Very disturbing arcade games.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Also the idea of someone’s mother having a ‘joystick’ doesn’t help either. 😛

          (The internet corrupts all)

        2. lokitsu

          Your mom is a complete slot machine.

      2. Xalticus

        I was thinking of completely replacing the word “never” with nether, it would go mostly unnoticed when spoken, but when typed it may raise a eyebrows..

  8. George

    So now we know why Roz is so intense. Also, using tickling as a threat proves that Robin will never be mature in any universe.

  9. Undrave

    I like Roz.

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    Doesn’t defiling suggest that Robin thinks that Roz was a virgin beforehand?

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Or it could mean the Robin just thinks Roz should have higher standards and Joe was beneath her.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        How can Joe possibly be beneath her? If anyone likes to be on top, it’s Joe! 😀

      2. RayBarrington

        Beneath her, on top of her, behind her…

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          pERFECT gRAV rESPONSE

      3. wandering meme

        Joe was beneath her…

        e heh…e heh heh heh heh heh…

    2. MM

      Not necessarily. It’s like Joyce’s analogy about the flower petals: “sinning” once is bad, but not as bad as repeating it.

      1. MM

        Holy crap, do I feel weird explaining that with a Joe gravitar.

        1. Rikushadow5

          Just because Joe understands does not mean Joe approves.

  11. Mkvenner

    Evil witch! Take two antibiotics and call me in the morning. If your still crazy then we will have to lobotmize.

  12. Ridureyu

    TICKLEFIGHT!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Evolving into FANSERVICE!

    2. MichaelHaneline

      +1

  13. Inara

    I almost feel like the Robin/Joe exchange should’ve been accompanied by a brofist.

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Indeed. And that would be just the type of front page picture to help her campaign.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        CONGRESSWOMAN FORGIVES DICKMONSTER!

        Now thoses are what I call headlines.

  14. Chupacabraconvoy

    Okay three strips and I got to say, this Robin kind of dick monster herself, albiet in a different way. Then again, we’re only three strips in.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I am half expecting for Robin’s skin to peel off revealing Sarah Palin inside.

      1. Mkvenner

        I was expecting *shudder* Ayn Rand.

        1. Jacob

          What! No one expects Ayn Rand!

        2. Another Jacob

          So Ayn Rand is the Spanish Inquisition?

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          No, the Russian Inquisition, they are worse.

        4. creatorx2

          NOBODY EXPECTS THE DICTATORSHIP OF THE PROLETARIAT
          (wait that’s Marx, crap)

          NOBODY EXPECTS STUPID TRAIN METAPHORS also I haven’t read Atlas Shrugged

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          “I love the smell sight of weird comment tangents in the morning.”

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          That would be scarier as she has been dead for about 30 years.

        7. Mkvenner

          Roting in hell I might add. 🙂

        8. Doom shepherd

          Still several levels above Marx in the ice, though.

        9. Mkvenner

          No they’re stuck in the same room.

          It’s Hell what more do you need.

        10. Tristan J

          Sartre sits in the corner, grinning like an idiot.

        11. Just for kix

          Apparently, ignorance is bliss. Living in a pseudo-free market has this effect I presume.

    2. Viktoria

      I hate Walkyverse! Roz and enjoy(mostly) Robin, and I dislike DoA Robin and love Roz. Have to wonder if Willis did that intentionally.

      1. Rikushadow5

        When in doubt, just cry out the three words people have been saying for years:

        “DAMN YOU, WILLIS!!!”

  15. Tristan J

    Joe is totally my favourite.

    (Note: My favourite changes from panel to panel)

  16. Kernanator

    While this Robin is definitely more mature than her original incarnation, it’s obvious from the tickle comment that she will never lose a little childish streak.

    1. Jacob

      Well, if she was a totally serious and mature character, she wouldn’t be Robin.

  17. Hello, Mr. Anderson

    I… I think I love DOA Roz. Not expected!

    1. Charles RB

      I know, right?! This IS an alternate universe!

  18. Linkara

    It’s actually kind of fascinating how the relationship is so different than Shortpacked. There, Robin always feels that her sister is intruding on her life and is the one more likely to yell and insult, while it’s reversed here.

    1. Tristan J

      What I like is how Robin is just as shallow and self-absorbed, but in a totally different way for a slightly different reason.

      1. Lunchbox

        And nowhere near as likeable when being shallow and self-absorbed, either :\

  19. Jason

    Man, if Sarah Palin actually had the STEEL BALLS to call Levi Johnston a “little dickmonster” in public, I could almost maybe see myself vote for her!

    1. Jason

      Especially if she called him “the little dickmonster who defiled my daughter’s nethers”!

  20. NF

    Them fists are stranglin’ fists!

    Stranglin’ fists of rage.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      They thirst for Robin’s neck.

      1. Jack

        Sounds like a weird fetish to me.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          That’s Rule 36 in a nutshell.

  21. Beachfox

    Easy there, Roz. You’re intruding on your professor’s Happy Glow Time with her crush object. That’s going to impact your grade if you’re not careful.

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      Joe already impacted her grade. With his penis.

      1. Fauxlosopher

        And it wasn’t even for a nickel.

        1. wandering meme

          But it was in her faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace. (does that make it a faaaaaaaaaaaaacial?)

    2. ryan

      i doubt it. we all know what happens when two women get into a tickle fight.

      1. MichaelHaneline

        I actually have some links I could post, but NSFW. 😛

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        They wet themselves laughing!?!

  22. DRM888

    I’m not usually a DoA fan, but “Forgiveness accepted” made me laugh out loud.

  23. Matt Boyd

    Sometimes a politician has to know when to represent her constituents’ views. Like George Wallace!

  24. Steven

    Roz was the one who made the video for her own political/societal motivations first, using (and endangering) her sister’s career for notoriety. They’re both pretty terrible.

    1. Sam

      Yeah, though I have to admit I’m disliking Roz a little more. But that’s really only because I have some residual bias from the Walkyverse Roz.

  25. Rikushadow5

    Whatchu gonna do, Roz? Punch her in the FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE?

    1. wandering meme

      with her femurs.

      …Vote DeSanto! She CAN make you!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Vote DeSanto! She knows your tickle spots!

  26. spsook

    I love the idea of Robin having her own political machine. I hope you can expand on this.

  27. Locarno

    You know, yesterday I was thinking that, were I assisting Robin (assuming Robin is a Republican, here), I would have her try to paint Roz as some flaky campus liberal, and the very best way to do this would be, oh, to drop by visiting Roz in a gender studies class (screams ‘liberal’) and then tweak Roz into getting all pissy in hopes that she causes a scene at the actual campaign rally later that night.

    If so, all is going according to plan, and Robin is probably secretly praying that Roz manages to scrape up an actual crowd of campus radicals at whom she can stoically confront in front of the cameras. Do you know how much she’d have to spend in advertising to buy that kind of credibility?

    1. Rikushadow5

      I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume the value is significantly higher than $9000. Could be wrong about that, though.

    2. gerardo

      Roz IS a flaky campus liberal, she is doing all this not for some political ideal but for an innerfight with her sister. She is not limiting to advertise “free love” but going to the extreme to confront her sister in a political arena (she did know the thing was going to blow when she made the video)

      1. Locarno

        You, I, and Robin all know Roz is a flaky campus liberal, but in terms of neutralizing the controversy her little sister ginned up, Robin needs to demonstrate this to the electorate.

        1. Locarno

          Also, how is it that whatever program assigns Gravatars somehow manages to pick one that is inappropriate to whatever comment is being made? Does “AI” stand for Artificial Irony?

  28. creatorx2

    I love how Roz is the little sister. It is a very well-thought-out mechanic.

    (heh you know what else is a very well thought out mechanic)
    (Joe’s nether-region-defiler)

  29. Jimmy

    Sure she has the freedom to do what she did, but in that same respect, people have the right to criticize her for it. Public officials and celebrities deal with it constantly whether it be an inappropriate comment or an affair or things of that nature. It isn’t illegal, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences. Right or wrong, it’s life.

    1. begbert2

      Roz doesn’t like the way life is – that appears to be her point. She hung the bait out, and when Sis took it, the crime against her was committed.

      Though I think criticizing her would have gone over a little better than forgiving her. Forgiveness is just so patronizing.

      1. begbert2

        The crime against Roz, I meant. Pronouns…

      2. Jimmy

        I agree in principle, but there’s not much talk from her about a solution to the problem (maybe that will come later). However, as long as people have opinions, this won’t ever go away. Just my opinion anyway

        1. begbert2

          It’s theoretically possible that one day we’ll collectively as a society get over being bothered by other people’s sexual behavior, the way many of us have gotten over being bothered by other people’s interracial romances. There is no sign of this happening in the forseeable future, admittedly, but that’s no reason why Roz shouldn’t see it as an ideal to be pursued – not the least by her own sister.

        2. gerardo

          Yeah I read that propaganda about “loving the children” too. But I say, if you need to have sex then sell It and buy It, the whole love thing does not apply in the cases when you just want a bang.

        3. Steven

          We will be comfortable with other people’s sexual behaviors when everyone stops publicizing their sexual behaviors.
          The solution is to just stop talking about it:
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2d2SzRZvsQ

    2. vlademir1

      How much freedom she really has to do what she did is debatable. The funny thing about freedom is that it’s granted via social contract, and only those willing to forgo society have truly unfettered freedom as the social consequences of their actions are made moot by removing themselves absolutely from society.
      For the rest of us, our freedom is tempered on how it’s consequences affect those around us (unless one is a complete sociopath), and the magnitude of such consequences depends on how well known one is, As an example, most of the world wouldn’t bat an eyelash over Paris Hilton if she wasn’t from the family she is and by the same token no one would give a nickle either way over Roz’s video exploits is her sister weren’t in congress.
      Assuming she made the vid specifically to tweak her sister’s nose or to make a statement about sexual freedom by leapfrogging off her sister’s public figure status, she, in my mind anyway, is the one who has denigrated herself here and it paints her in as bad a light as Robin’s response does her.

  30. wandering meme

    Still wondering who said “So does the internet!”

    …I hope it was Walky!

    1. begbert2

      I’m thinking it was Joyce!

      …okay, possibly not.

      1. Sir Robin

        I’m guessing it was Joe

        1. begbert2

          I actually don’t think so – that reads as a dig against Roz’s exhibitionism in posting the video, and Joe wouldn’t be inclined to insult any aspect of what Roz has done.

        2. gerardo

          Joe is machist, despict the woman body as an empty object that can be made to do pointless jokes is in his nature. He did it for the Lulz, as he honestly doesnt care about Roz

        3. iSaidCandleja-

          I didn’t read it as an insult. It sounded like a gloating frat boy type who just high fived his mates offscreen.

          But if it was an insult, it was totally Mike who said it.

        4. Roborat

          I’m going with,it was the entire class.

        5. vlademir1

          I’m personally assuming Dean McHenry, who probably feels that the video reflects badly on his school.

  31. OmegaDez

    I like Roz.

    1. Static Air

      Oh, hellz yeah! Sex education advocate, feminist, amateur porn star, opponent of fake political rallying. Roz is so boss, Roz is Da Boss.

    2. SasquatchKing

      I mean obviously Robin is meant to be the enemy here, but Roz is just throwing a tantrum. She sounds like she’s a five year old fighting with her parents about bedtime. It’s the same argument.

      1. OmegaDez

        I so don’t agree. Roz’s life is her own, fuck what some conservative hillbilies think.

      2. OmegaDez

        I so don’t agree. Roz’s life is her own, fuck what some conservative hillbilies think.

  32. Matt of Steel

    Firstly, DoA Roz is quite awesome.

    Secondly, if politicians in real life talked like Robin does … I’d probably watch the news more often.

  33. Jimbo

    oh man, “so does the internet” totally needs to be a meme now!

  34. Luke

    Now, wait a minute. In the original continuity, Robin only ran for congress because she was sugar high as all hell. But since she doesn’t have superpowers in this ‘verse, sweets presumably don’t have as insane an effect on her.

    So was it still because of high highness, or did she actually *want* to go into politics in this universe?

    1. begbert2

      Maybe she’s an attention whore?

    2. Locarno

      There are some pretty weird and unexpected paths to politics in real life. People have been elected who were basically asked to fill a spot on the ballot – there was a lot of that in the recent Canadian elections; the NDP put in some space-fillers in Quebec and was probably as surprised as anyone to have them actually elected. Alvin Greene was an unemployed guy who collected the bare minimum of signatures and won the Democratic primary for Senator in SC because of voter dissatisfaction. I vaguely recall some story about the Republican Party once placing a want-ad for a candidate (I think a Congressional rep, too!).

      So despite the lack of superpowers, there’s no reason Robin can’t have gotten elected due to some weird stuff happening. I personally favor the want-ad approach (“It was either retail or Washington”) because I expect that sort of odd ad-hoc stuff from Robin.

      1. Kirby

        xD I love that… sounds perfectly like something she would do too. Although I don’t think it would be ‘retail or Washington’ I think it would be more like; “It was retail or Washington, and the retail place refused to hire me.”

  35. Paul1963

    Yeah, DoA Robin has pretty much the same personality as Walkyverse Robin. Give that woman some Cadbury cereal!

  36. LeaLeonis

    The internet knows everything!
    (Although Google didn’t come up with any satisfying results to “Roz DeSanto ticklish areas”, nor to “Robin DeSanto pubic hair”, but that’s probably just because I didn’t search had enough.)

  37. Pat

    Leslie’s smile has faded.

    That’s sad.

    1. Kirby

      No no, Roz’s shouting just broke her out of her fantasy for a moment. It’ll be back momentarily.

  38. Horerczy

    Roz has a special gift for always annoying me I think. All I can see here is she joes random people to try and prove a point that she is free to do as she wishes.

    1. begbert2

      But…she is free to do what she wishes. (And who she wishes, as well.)

      1. gerardo

        So why bothering to prove the point then? For me is an attention whore and a rebellious girl, mostly because of her sister (A politician in the family? thats not good…)

  39. aaronbourque

    Well, it looks like this Roz is at least as self-centered as the Shortpacked! Roz, but with added misguided self-righteousness! Unsympathic character successfully created!

  40. gerardo

    Mi politic stand is that if kids are not responsable enough they shouldnt have sex (a.k.a Responsable Fun). But when my Ethics teacher asked me how I would prevent they from having sex I said “first ofend then castration, there would be no secon offence”, yeah she reacted the same as you.
    Other problem was my definition of “responsable enough”=Not Stupid. They acused me of nazi eugenics. But I meant good!

  41. gangler

    After this we discover that this is all a big misunderstanding and no one on campus actually knows what sex is. The video is mostly just Joe tickling Roz for two hours. Despite their behavior at many times almost resembling known fetishes at no point during the video does any form of sexuality occur. Ten minutes of it is just the two of them puzzling a pair of dildos before engaging in a impromptu mock-sword fight.

    An investigation is put forth to discover how this video was able to successfully pull the wool over the eyes of the entire student body, the news media, and the voters of a congressional district. Ultimately it’s Leslie who compiles all the data into a thesis that somehow fixes all of the country’s problems. History is made.

    1. shovels

      When does Leslie gets to have love time with Robin then if she is making the thesis!?

      1. gangler

        Robin capitalizes on this to earn herself presidency with Leslie as the first lady. They also make a video together that goes to great lengths to correct misconceptions regarding sex. It will become the Kama Sutra of the modern world.

        1. Kirby

          “Candidate Desanto, how do you feel about people saying that you’re lesbianism goes against the family values that you promised the nation?”

          Robin: Now now, I know you guys all are up in arms about Leslie here, but I’m not going to be the one to break tradition! It’s the ‘First Lady’ not the ‘First Gentleman’!

          Everyone nods in agreement.

  42. DiDi

    See… the problem with her logic is that once she put it on the internet for the world to see… it kind of became her sister’s business. And the world’s for that matter.

    Like Joe said, now the internet knows where she’s ticklish. She just asked for her sex like to be critiqued. Why is the girl so surprised?

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      She made it public, that doesn’t mean she expected it to go viral. Maybe it was only meant for her facebook friends to see. Specifically I recall a powerpoint presentation made by a girl comparing all of her sexual partners on campus… it was only meant for friends until someone started emailing it to everyone and soon it was on the evening news.

      1. Pat

        HOW IS THIS NEWS?

  43. Tetroga

    Yeah, see, now I’m not liking this universe’s Robin. She’s basically just the run of the mill politician. Roz is totally in the right at the moment. Its pretty annoying that even DoA Robin just makes anything she’s involved in about her self.

  44. Scot

    When I read panel 4, I couldn’t help but think of this video.

    http://youtu.be/lsYjdbrkWxk

  45. Derek

    Seriously, commenters of DoA? Seriously?

    Why are so many of the comments slut-shaming Roz, or at least implying that she did something wrong?

    I totally agree with what she says in the fourth panel! Her body is her own! She can do what she likes! She can have sex with everyone or no one at all; she can tattoo “Aladdin” on her forehead if she wants to and she can shave off her eyebrows and it would be nobody else’s business!

    At least not all comments were bad; I completely agree with the person who said we are not yet in the century when people do not care about others’ sexual antics.

    1. Kirby

      I agree with you that it’s Roz’s business, but I disagree with the people that are saying that Robin’s trying to make it her business.

      If you pay attention, she’s basically just saying she forgives Joe and Roz for the cameras, and probably doesn’t honestly care what her little sister does. But she’s expected to do something to “clean up her house” (so to speak) by her constituents, so she’s putting in a passable attempt at screentime so she can get out of this as quickly as possible, so she can get back to her attempt to get ‘Cadbury Cereal’ off the controlled substance list.

      1. khambatta

        What Robin should be doing is explaining that her house doesn’t need cleaning.

    2. Pat

      She certainly can. She even may.
      This does not mean that she should.

      Now people who approve of Joe’s actions while disapproving of Roz’s very similar actions? Or vice versa? That’s quite unfair.

      But people have just as much right to say they’re both wrong as you do to say they’re both right.

  46. Kirby

    (Actually, she probably does care, but at the same time she doesn’t because, y’know, it’s Robin).

  47. Jenny Creed

    Oh gee, thank you for forgiving us for hurting absolutely no one, I know how much it hurts you when we do that.

  48. Celeste

    Roz is def my fave character so far omg she’s basically me

Leave a Reply to Cope Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.