175

Nextdoor
Posted on August 21, 2015 by David M Willis

175 thoughts on “Nextdoor”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “YES! I was given permission by a rebel!”

    “Does this not circumvent the purpose behind rebellion, to acquire permission from even an imagined authority?”

    “lemme ‘splain ya something called ‘sarcasm’, Dina… maybe also ‘irreverence'”

    1. Doctor_Who

      Maybe Sal will give her permission to smoke and get a tattoo next!

      1. gkheyf

        make sure to get it signed in triplicate! just to avoid misunderstandings

        1. Dean

          And get it stamped by Personnel. Preliminary authorisation should arrive in 4-6 weeks.

      2. inqntrol

        And a leather jacket,the piece de resistance

        1. Chinoy Industries, Ltd.

          inb4 VIVE LA RESISTANCE!!!!!

        2. N0083rP00F

          VIVE LA DIFFERANCE!

      3. Ana Chronistic

        …a candy cigarette, and a temporary tattoo?

        1. Betty Anne

          Don’t knock it! For those of us who were “sheltered” (Read: isolated by controlling parents), candy cigarettes and temporary tattoos were a secret joy that made us feel like a bad-ass at school, but could be disposed of without evidence before we got home and our parents found out. >_>

        2. Ana Chronistic

          not knocking it, just verifying

        3. Senko

          I’m just wondering if you make a rebel an authority figure do they stop being a rebel?

      4. Darkoneko

        Yeah no, she ain’t takin’ no responsability fo’ anyone else’s crap.

      5. Nono

        Don’t forget the holy grail: a motorcycle ride.

        1. Doctor_Who

          If Becky gets one of those before Joyce, we will see the JoyceFace to end all JoyceFaces.

        2. Toes14

          Well, Becky will say “Fuck” before Joyce now, so that qualifies her according to Sal.

    2. m2iCodeJockey

      God-dammit…

    3. Plaid

      Your username confuses me but I love it. Also the gravatar.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Consider her a cousin to the Asides.
        Seriously, pronounce the name out loud. That’s the joke.

        1. That Damn Rat

          Plaid may not be familiar with the word anachronistic, it has a fairly niche field of use.

        2. Deanatay

          Wrong! The Chronistics are an ancient family of time-travelers. Every couple of generations or so, one of them travels back in time and marries into a different family.

          By this point, they’re basically related to everyone.

        3. m2iCodeJockey

          “Someone is getting ahead of themselves…”

        4. bodmans

          but… wouldn’t that eventually be detrimental to genetic diversity, and thus cause all kinds of inbreeding diseases?

        5. Gordon

          Depends on where in time they go and whether they find their partners in the same geographical area. There are literally billions of different people for them to choose from and the effects of inbreeding really only show up over generations. If I were to go back say, ten generations on my family tree, we wouldn’t be all that genetically similar. Hell, five generations ago we wouldn’t be similar. I mean, roughly speaking I only share a quarter of my genes with my grandparents.

          Unless the time traveling family is like…the Duggars or something, I don’t see the issue cropping up.

        6. Sunny

          So it would be ok to have sex with one’s great-grandmother. Good to know…

        7. Gordon

          You’d have to ask your great grandmother about that.

          I won’t presume to know her thoughts on it.

      2. Tacos

        Anachronistic yo.

      3. Kryss LaBryn

        Anachronistic. A thing out of its proper time.

      4. Amazi-Stool

        What confuses me about that name is that it is written exactly like the word, only has a space in it.

        The Asides were not that obvious and always started with the short form of a female name.

        So what i propose/suggest is to keep the old scheme and change the name to “Ann A. Crony’s Tic” or something like this!

        1. Ana Chronistic

          What confuses me is the ones I used are all names I made for characters and y’all seem to be leaping all over that and do I explain exactly who everyone is or

        2. Ana Chronistic

          I thought of a variant so I’m not using the Facebook cosplayer’s name (that I totes had first) but idk I kinda like the straightforwardness

  2. Darkoneko

    Hey Sal, long time no see !

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      Enjoy this page it’s going to be a nother 30 till we see her again.

      1. Darkoneko

        Unless Dina leave the room immediatly I think we’ll see her again tomorrow~

        1. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          So then, Sal is no longer the girl next door?

          Wait, was she ever? 😉

        2. neeks

          She lets her parents think she is, does that count?

      2. BenRG

        I’m not sure that’s the case, but that’s a spoiler so I’m saying no more.

      3. Halloween Jack

        Mmmmaybe. Or maybe there will be a Becky/Dina/Sal triangle and/or menage a trois.

        1. Darkoneko

          Pretty sure Sal’s stance on this is “yeah, i’m NOT doing that, no”.

  3. Cheryl

    IKR

  4. Mr. Random

    It’s time for a … SPEEEEEEEEED REEEEEECAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!

    1. gkheyf

      aaaand go–![trip-n-fall]

    2. Nono

      Now imagine Becky saying it in that tape-rewind speed.

      1. AgentKeen

        Also, the squeaky tape sound.

    3. Darkoneko

      It’s impressive to be able to say all that without catching your breath, seriously.

      1. tim gueguen

        Becky is secretly a clone of Willow Rosenberg.

    4. Stephen R. Bierce

      Go Speed Recap
      Go Speed Recap
      Go Speed Recap Go!

      1. Ana Chronistic

        ♪Here it comes, here comes Speed Recap: She’s a lesbian Joyce… She’s a lesbian, she’s gonna be roomies ’cause she’s homeless♫

        [/trying too hard]

        1. Mr. Random

          Try harder.

        2. Deanatay

          Try Hard: With A Vengance!
          Live Free Or Try Hard

        3. WolfLann

          A good day to Try Hard

  5. Badeyes

    SAL! Getting clued in.

    1. Mada

      And luckily for Becky, she’s not around all that much, so the likelihood of her accidentally blabbing is slim to none.

      1. Darkoneko

        Blabbling to who, anyway. Her only friend’s Marcie.

        1. Mada

          Hence “slim to none”.

        2. Darkoneko

          I almost wrote “Malaya” instead of “Marcie”, and then spend 5 good minutes thinking “what the hell, brain”.

        3. Nightsbridge

          I suggest bleach.

        4. Bagge

          In a very strange universe next door:

          Marcie: “I wanna tap that”
          Sal: “Me too. In fact, she’s my knew only friend. See you never.”
          Marcie: [sign that can’t be translated to any written or spoken language]
          Malaya: “Sure, whatevs, but I’m still the cool one.”

          And then Sal and Malaya rode away into the sunset on a motorcycle.

        5. Deanatay

          … and had BEST HATESEX EVAR

  6. Mada

    Let us hope everyone can be as understanding as Sal is.

    Okay, that’s a vain-as-fuck hope, but oh well.

    1. Tacos

      The only one I can think that might not be understanding is Ruth.

      1. detective boomwolf

        Her and Mary.

        1. Tacos

          Well Mary is sorta a given so…

      2. Mada

        I like to think if/when Ruth confronts them about this, Dina’s going to reveal that she’s known about Ruth and Billie for some time (cue flashbacks showing Ruth and Billie doing their best to be careful but Dina happening to be nearby without being noticed).

        And thus a sort of “You don’t tell on us/we don’t tell on you” deal is struck.

        1. JetstreamGW

          That seems a bit cutthroat for Dina.

        2. Mada

          Oh I don’t think Dina would be cutthoat about it; I just wouldn’t be surprised if she unveiled the relationship in a matter-of-fact tone, much the way she asked Amber about her running around in a costume.

        3. Willoughby Chase

          It would be the sort of thing Sarah would do.

          She’s the baseball bat you keep handy, just in case, just for that sort of emergency.

      3. Nightsbridge

        I still think that Ruth is going to have more sympathy for shitty-family shenanigans than we give her credit for. We still don’t know much about her grandfather, but we know it’s not good.

        1. Mada

          Fair point. I’m hoping Ruth’ll be understanding too, but at the same time I can still see some sort of “you don’t tell then we don’t tell” deal.

        2. begbert

          As that ‘you don’t tell then we don’t tell’ deal sounds like blackmail, I see Ruth as more likely to react to it with a rousing game of femur removal.

        3. Tacos

          I do believe that Ruth would be sympathetic but aside from Mary, she’s the next most likely to not be understanding.

        4. That Damn Rat

          She is however in a position of authority, and can not allow this to continue, so while she would probably be sympathetic, she may still have to apply the boot.

        5. JetstreamGW

          Pff. Ruth abuses her authority as it pleases her.

        6. thejeff

          Exactly. Ruth will be helpful, if not openly sympathetic. This isn’t something to report. (Has Ruth ever reported anything that would get any of her charges in trouble?) This is one more thing to hold over them to keep them in line.

        7. Tacos

          If Ruth cared about using her authority responsibly then she wouldn’t be in a relationship with one of her charges she is supposed to look out for.

      4. BenRG

        Oddly enough, I can see Ruth, if she is fully aware of the circumstances, telling Becky that she’ll look the other way unless she gets caught by someone in authority. If that happens, she won’t help her and will deny under oath that she knew Becky was still in the dorms.

        I can also see her telling Joyce, Sarah and Sal that she’ll cheerfully throw all three of them under the bus too to protect her position.

        Whether she actually would do that is not certain. She’ll say it because she has the ‘ruthless’ rep to maintain.

  7. gkheyf

    if you say it fast enough, it’s ok. that is why beck keeps practicing that

  8. MM

    Becky’s lucky Sal’s innate desire to rebel against any and all authority trumps her desire for a single.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I landed a single in my senior year. Roommate dropped out to join the Air Force, and they never got around to assigning me someone new. I could invite friends to stay over, and prance around naked all I wanted!

      Not at the same time, though. That would be weird.

      1. Someone

        Prancing around naked with friends should never be weird!

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Prancing around naked while teaching class on the other hand is a little odd.

        2. Darkoneko

          I doubt they’d let that go even for health classes

        3. tim gueguen

          Depends on the class. If it’s something like the history of nudism it would be quite appropriate.

        4. Nightsbridge

          “Today class, we couldn’t find a model. So, I will volunteer!”

        5. Deathstalker

          Heh, one of my anthropology professors was commenting on something and said basically about nudity taboos, and why no one came to class nude.

          Next day, 2 students come in wearing trench coats, and once class began took them off, nude. No one said a word. The professor said something (I can’t recall exactly, and can’t ask him anymore.) along the lines of I stand corrected, and went on with everything.

        6. WolfLann

          Or art class

        7. Disloyal Subject

          Not if you’re a cuttlefish.

        8. Tacos

          It’s only weird if you make it weird.

      2. Agemegos

        I got one in freshman because by residence (Basser College at UNSW, in 1982) was such a dump that they couldn’t fill all the places. My room hadn’t been repainted since my brother lived in it fifteen years earlier. Nor had the leak in the roof been fixed.

        I took advantage of the single to have a major depressive episode without anyone noticing. You know the “freshman fifteen”? I lost fifteen pounds in freshman year by skipping meals and exercise.

        1. Agemegos

          “my residence”, not “by residence”. Oops.

      3. vlademir1

        Well, depends on what kind of friends we’re talking about. I had friends in college I could invite over an be naked around… there were certain types of benefits involved.

        1. Kryss LaBryn

          We started with naked hottubbing at my roomie’s mum’s house (parents were hippies who didn’t want clothing fibres clogging up the filter, so it was okay lol) and just sort of went, “It’s hot and we’ve already all seen each other naked, so…” from there.

      4. hof1991

        Prancing and parading always seem to involve nakedness. Who prances around without being naked? Parading around naked is just about the only kind of parading people mention.

  9. otusasio451

    Rule #15 of sheltered suburban kids: “Swearing is allowed if quoting someone or somthing that has sworn.”

    1. Rutee

      Not in my house, it wasn’t!

      1. Betty Anne

        ^ This. More like, “If quoting someone else, replace the swear with an acceptable substitute such as the first letter of the swear, or actually saying “swear word,” because we don’t talk like that in this house.” ^^;

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    I believe in spontaneity… just as long as you plan for it first.

  11. David Herbert

    “Oh dear God, now ah live wit a lesbian Joyce.”

    1. newllend(henryvolt)

      A lesbian joyce/walky.

      1. detective boomwolf

        Lesbian Joyacky.

        1. Darkoneko

          “So… I have a wonderbread little sister now ?”

        2. Darkoneko

          Oh wait, that’d be gingerbread, right ? 😀

        3. detective boomwolf

          You topped yourself. I didn’t think it was possible, but you pulled it off.

        4. timemonkey

          Wonderbread is her name for Danny, not Joyce.

        5. Darkoneko

          I know (also it’s Becky, not Joyce)

        6. Tenn

          “You gotta try this lesbian joyky, it’s a lot bettah than regulah joyky. It’s made from lesbian cows!”

      2. Bagge

        “Take that, Marice. I ALSO have an annoying little brat to spend time with now.”

    2. Blackbird

      Mmmm, lesbian Joyce….

      1. Yotomoe

        Becky, stop posting.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      A Christian lesbian who experiments sexually with an atheist and you thought you were going to have to share rooms with a square…

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Has Dina been confirmed as atheistic?

        1. Opus the Poet

          Yep.

  12. Darkoneko

    Re alt-text : As a wikipedia editor, yup, you just can get away with a hella lot of things if you’re “quoting”.

  13. Stephen R. Bierce

    *plays Monty Python’s “I Bet You They Won’t Play This Song On The Radio” on the Muzak*

  14. Idon'tcarenomore

    Love Sal. After a minute to process motormouth’s statement (that all is hard to say without a breath in there), not surprised she agreed.
    I think she would have agreed even without Billies 2cents but, this is funnier.

  15. Idon'tcarenomore

    Just got a thought: if Toedad manages to find that room while Sal is at home….this will be interesting.

    1. Mada

      Sal vs. Toedad….

      I like this mental image.

      I like it a lot.

      And best of all, Marcie wouldn’t be around to make her stop 🙂

      1. Darkoneko

        …That would be all kinds of bad for Sal, tho.

        1. Mada

          Well yes, but for the past few days I’ve been pondering various scenarios that would involve Toedad getting his ass kicked; be it verbally, metaphorically, or physically.

        2. Disloyal Subject

          I’d prefer for him to be broken with words than with violence and watch him collapse in on himself in a blubbering wreck as he realizes what he’s put Becky through. But since it’s unlikely that he’d listen & accept another’s words, I’m more than happy to see just what Sal is capable of.

        3. darkoneko

          It could probably go the shortpacked Leslie’s way.
          Ah well, we shall see in due time. Hopefully before the next world war.

        4. Tacos

          Only if the body is found. I kid of course. Kinda sorta.

    2. BenRG

      He’s bigger than Sal and maybe she is out of her depth. Amazi-Girl to the rescue.

      Amazi-Girl saves Sal from being assaulted or worse. There are… consequences for Amber and Sal alike.

  16. dailybrad

    Billie knows her sorta-but-not-really sister well. Which is good it’s only sorta, or that time she drunkenly tried to mack on her would be creepy in addition to very awkward.

  17. Yotomoe

    Poor Becky. She’s gonna be rooming with a hottie walkerton who sleeps in the buff. Gotta be tough on a gal.

    1. clorr

      Poor Becky? She has a girlfriend who is also Dina; which makes up for any downside. More importantly, her having a girlfriend means she doesn’t need to jump everyone’s bones. now she can enjoy the eye candy.

      1. darkoneko

        And if Dina happens to be ace ?

        1. timemonkey

          Doesn’t mean she’s unwilling to have sex, just a lack of personal interest.

    2. Kryss LaBryn

      No more buff than Mickey Mouse.

    3. Bagge

      Well, it means she’s not sleeping with Joyce any more so I say as distractions go it’s a step towards the safe side.

  18. Rebecca

    I don’t know why that last panel makes me laugh so hard but it does. I can’t decide which is funnier, “sweet I get to use a swear!” or Sal’s reaction to it.

  19. Cerberus

    Panel 5 Internal Dialogue: Damn that’s metal as Hell. Ah totally want to stick it to the man for that sh… well played, Billie, yah wise ass, well played.

    1. Bagge

      I think the only thing that really irks her is that Billie got one over her.

      “I’m NOT that predictable, am I?”

  20. Cholma

    Dina: “Billie, Sal said to inform you that you were correct, and also fornicate you, intelligent buttocks.”
    Billie: “What?!”
    Dina: “I am summarizing?”

  21. Disloyal Subject

    Digging the cycling banners, and the closer look at Sal’s tattoo.

    1. Opus the Poet

      Which cycling banners? And double plus on the tattoo.

      1. Disloyal Subject

        The background at the top, behind “DUMBING OF AGE: A College Webcomic by David M Willis”
        They used to be static, at least for my browser, but now I’m seeing a variety.

        1. Bicycle Bill

          I’m pretty sure that this is a function of those so-called “smart ad” programs that select the ads you see based on your recent browser history.  A few weeks ago, out of curiosity, I clicked on what I thought was an ad for inexpensive cycling water bottles and it turned out to be a site for a company that creates and sells promo advertising items (like pens, notepads, calendars, coffee cups, and yes, bicycle water bottles).  I backed out of there immediately, but I’m still getting ads for this company popping up on a regular basis.

  22. Bagge

    Panel five Sal here nods in recognition to panel four Sarah Here.

    “You too, huh?”

  23. BenRG

    Sal has learnt a terrible truth about rebellion: When your rebellious behaviour becomes so formulaic that people who know you can predict how you will react to a given situation with a high confidence of the outcome, then maybe you’ve lost that wild spontaneity that you were looking for! She’s also found that her childhood playmate has grown up to be an expert manipulator!

    I suspect that Sal is going to be in a worse mood than usual for the rest of the week. 🙂

  24. Asper Storm

    I am starting to really love how freaking awesome Billie is!

    1. Bagge

      Aaaaaaaaaalpha BONGO!!!

  25. Asper Storm

    Oh and I guess Becky starting to turn awesome too.

    1. Zatar

      Started?

  26. BenRG

    It occurs to me that panel 1 needs more attention. Becky is telling Dina what it’s like being home-schooled.

    I suspect that Dina had a lot of misconceptions about what Joyce and Becky’s childhoods were like based on incorrect assumptions about home schooling. It might be interesting to see if this leads to her to react to Joyce in different ways.

  27. Bagge

    This is Billie getting back to Sal for This

    1. merbrat

      Right! (bonus: Mini Joyce Reaction Panel)

  28. BenRG

    I’m getting the feeling that Becky is going to end up being Sal’s equivalent of Joyce. For all she’s ‘rebelling’, Becky is going to be relentlessly and naively cheerful, upbeat and moral to the point that it drives poor Sal to distraction. However, as with Sarah, she can’t help but admire the girl’s spirit and dedication.

    1. Bagge

      I really hope they will spend enough time for that to be the case. It might be that Sal just slips out through the window and leave Becky to her own antics though…

    2. darkoneko

      Sal isn’t a rebel anymore, now she became amber, playing all the time with Danny… ‘s 3DS.

  29. Les

    The ultimate test will be getting Dina to swear; actually I’m not sure whether it would be her or Joyce?

    1. Bagge

      Dina won’t be that hard – just see how easy she fell into using “butthole dad” as the established nomenclature. As long as she get’s the idea of the swear being the proper term for something she will use it without hesitation.

      Dina *calmly spoken while playing mariocart*. Fuck. Fuck. Oh, that was an interesting application of newtonian physics. Fuck…

      1. Nightsbridge

        People I know always seem startled when I straight up swear at people, for some reason. It’s not like I feel any special reservation, it’s just usually usually not called for.

  30. Deanatay

    Wait, only ‘a’ swear? Which of ‘fuck’ and ‘ass’ does she not consider a swear, anymore?

    1. Gigafreak

      Ass means “donkey” sometimes! Everyone wants to ride Billie plus she can kick things with enough force to vaporize a small city! It fits!

    2. Emperor Norton

      OK, so my take on this (which quite possibly is wrong): “Ass” is growing milder and milder as a swear in itself, and “smartass” is pretty much no longer an actual swear, but just a mild… insult? Except Billie wouldn’t of course be insulted if she heard this.

      What do we call a word or expression that the sender is meaning as an insult, but that the recipient is more likely to take as a compliment?

      1. Deanatay

        It’s the opposite of a back-handed compliment, so, a ‘back-handed insult’?

      2. Sunny

        tvtropes lists it as “Insult Backfire”. I’ll do us all a favour and not link to the site.

  31. Spencer

    Is it possible to be a rebel when your rebellion has become a trope in of itself?

  32. Julez

    It might be that the perspective on this is a bit weird but how damn big are these dorm rooms? This seems kinda huge.

  33. Mr. Bawkbagawk

    if you ended the story arc with this comic? it would still be satisfying.

  34. Bagge

    I love Dina’s and Becky’s double act. Dina is loud and funny and has a big goofy grin and you just know that she’s speed talking in panel four to get everything out there before Sal has time to react.

    Dina is in standby mode.

    1. Bagge

      Yeah… I think you will find the place in the above paragraph where I should have said “Becky” instead of “Dina’.

  35. Effie Ray

    Am I the only one who would like to see Mike deal with Toedad? It would be a disaster, sure, but a hilarious one. I miss Mike…

    1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      Yeah, but this is the realistic universe. He’s not going to be able to set Toedad on fire without consequences.

    2. timemonkey

      I don’t see how standing there, saying rude things that’ll just fly over his head would be productive or even all that entertaining.

      1. tyersome

        … well, based on a moderately humorous and mildly unfortunate personal experience, I would have to say that even stupid assholes can figure out they’re being mocked … and can react violently …

        … maybe Mike will become a ‘hero’ by provoking the toe-thing into a public act of violence or perhaps a stoke or heart attack …

        … yes, I know that this is too much like a happy ending … but the Willis could ‘treat’ us to Becky being agonizing conflicted about all this …

  36. Rocketboy1313

    Is it odd that I “hear” Sal’s voice as Applejack from “MLP: FiM”?

    Cause I know Sal is not country. So that makes it a little weird.

  37. Edupoet81

    Billie is right that, regardless of how Sal feels about being given a new roommate without her consent, she wouldn’t narc on Becky to the Establishment on principle. I’d thought about that before, after Billie first made her suggestion.
    Sal is clearly peeved that she isn’t as inscrutable as she previously imagined. She may need to start rethinking her image.

  38. Wack'd

    Naïve Fundies Moving in with Grouchy Asocial People: The Webcomic

    1. David M Willis

      *ruth and billie fight over who doesn’t have to be the naive fundie*

      1. timemonkey

        Pretty sure Billie’s already lost that fight.

    2. Darkoneko

      hehehehehe

    3. Tenchan

      For some reason, I’m hearing “The Odd Couple” theme song.

  39. TPman

    Ah! Ah! Giant blue spider on your arm Sal!

  40. Shadow Eagle

    hmmm, i could of sworn when i read that on Friday it said “”fuck you, WIDE Ass”.
    My brain must be in edit mode…

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