243

Obstacle course
Posted on April 6, 2021 by David M Willis
The Dumbing of Age Book 10 Kickstarter, for Renounce Magical Thinking and Embrace Empirical Evidence, is now in its second week!  Let's recap its met stretch goals thus far: 1) Everybody who pledges for something that gets snailmailed to you, whether it's book(s) or another magnet, you get a free Billie magnet!  Huzzah! 2) Saturday and Sunday websites were renewed for another year! 3) In addition to the free Billie, eight other magnets are available for pledging!  HOSTAGE JOYCE, HOSTAGE DOROTHY, NIGHTGUY, HARRISON/JAIME, AGATHA, MEREDITH, HOSTAGE ETHAN, and CLOSET COSPLAY AMAZI-GIRL are now unlocked! When we reach $50k, a HOSTAGE SARAH magnet will join their ranks! 22 days left to go!  The Kickstarter ends late Tuesday, April 27.

243 thoughts on “Obstacle course”

  1. Doctor_Who

    Sarah’s sexual awakening: Legends of the Hidden Temple reruns.

    (Her safeword is “Silver Monkey”)

    1. Yotomoe

      Are you implying that Sara’s Free to play? But with lots of commitment and maybe a few microtransactions?

      1. Common sense

        i am rather torn between doing the obvious Marriage joke here or not.
        it seems a little to easy.

      2. darkgloomie

        The microtransactions are to unlock Other Jacob.

        Batteries aren’t free, yiu know!

    2. Needfuldoer

      How did so many contestants mess up that damned Silver Monkey puzzle?! It’s just three pieces! Maybe the shrine had a reality distortion field.

      Poor Joyce would be traumatized by the Temple Guards, even if she had a full pendant of life.

      (I don’t know why, but my first thought was Double Dare, not LOTHT. These kids are all too young to remember those shows.)

      1. Doctor_Who

        That’s why I had to specify rerun.

        These whippersnappers will never know the dream of taking homea piece of the Aggro Crag from GUTS.

        1. Needfuldoer

          Or taking a trip into the Video Zone to defeat the Video Game Wizard of the day.

          Or physical challenges around the Slime Geyser. (Or just the Slime Geyser in general. RIP.)

      2. Paradox

        To be fair, the contestants on that show were actual children, not to mention the stress and pressure of competing and having hundreds of thousands of people watching

        1. Khyrin

          Additionally, Multiple episodes were recorded in a single day, with each segment recorded in a single block, e.g. ALL the Moat crossings, THEN the Steps of Knowledge, THEN the temple. any adrenaline high going into the temple probably petered out because of the delays.

    3. Deanatay

      Gods, I’m old.

      I have no idea what ANY of these people are talking about.

      1. milu

        this isn’t a generational thing, those are nerds. no one has a clue what they’re on about ^^

        1. thejeff

          Must be both, because I’m a nerd and I’ve got no clue what they’re on about. Some TV kid’s show well after my childhood, I think.

      2. Vegetalss4

        According to google it’s an old childrens tv show that ended more than 25 years ago, it’s entirely possible you are too young rather than too old to know about it.

        1. Paradox

          Wait, it’s really that old?

          There is no way I saw it when I was only 2 years old, I must have saw only reruns and thought it was new

          Because I watched it in the late 90’s

        2. JetstreamGW

          Nickelodeon always ran reruns for years.

      3. Needfuldoer

        Prepare to be edumacated.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=US-WKYA89Ig

  2. Nono

    There’s something extremely bizarre going on, alright.

    Why is Walky ahead of everyone on the way to class???

    1. Jamie

      Are they going to math? Did Walky decide to start trying?

      1. Clif

        He’s in a hurry to see Jennifer’s reaction to his new look.

    2. AbacusWizard

      Confidence boost grants +1 to stride length!

    3. Dean

      The others have all slowed down to check out the goods.

      1. Wizard

        I’m amazed it took until the third reply for someone to suggest that. Seemed obvious to me.

        1. cbwroses

          Except Sal is right beside them.
          It’s possible that she’s walking in solidarity, but I think it’s more likely that Walky has some pep in his step from the attention (even if he still doesn’t know why).
          Of course, they all could have given him space because they knew they were going to keep talking about him and it’s not exactly the kind of conversation they want to have with him.
          Maybe all three.

        2. Azhrei Vep

          The others slowed down to check out the goods, except for Sal, because he’s her brother so he’ll never be anything but gross and/or embarrassing.

        3. Pimellon

          Sal can be seen pulling ahead of the pack, with strides just as long as Walky’s.
          My guess is she took a second to realize why everyone had slowed down, and is noping out of there.

        4. cbwroses

          You can still see the bottom of her hair near Sarah.

    4. hof1991

      Everyone is behaving like pod people. He’s the one who’s changed but to him it looks like everyone else has.

    5. Jhon

      Little does Walky know that his future is being decided by intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic, slowly and surely drawing their plans against him.

      1. misanthropope

        now that’s MY dialect of nerd right there.

      2. StClair

        *plays “The Eve of the War” on the hacked muzak, good and loud*

  3. Ana Chronistic

    “can I get that certified and notarized”

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      Meh. It’s been rubber-stamped. Will that do?

  4. Newllend(henryvolt)

    Joyce: “Your not going to do Walky are you?” Sarah: “I’m insulted you’d even suggest that.”

    1. Mr D

      Meanwhile, I took the opposite implication: That the only thing currently stopping her is that he’s short.

      1. cbwroses

        Same here.
        Annoying and with questionable hygiene, one still has a chance.
        Short? That’s a deal breaker.

      2. Deanatay

        Hey, size makes a huge difference. My spouse was everything I wanted in a partner, except about a foot shorter. It took me years to realize that.

        1. Mr D

          >Hey, size makes a huge difference.
          That’s what SHE said :V

    2. All-Purpose Guru

      *Lucy nods furiously*

  5. AbacusWizard

    “…in which case DIBS”

  6. jeffepp

    Joyce: “Oh, I didn’t say that. Just Sarah.”

  7. Sirksome

    Did Walky suddenly become the protagonist of a harem anime? Wait no, that can’t be right. If he was Sal would be crushing on him too.

    1. Shitbird

      They’re twins?????

      1. Mydnyt

        Have you not watched harem anime? The sister usually crushes the hardest.

      2. Thag Simmons

        hello welcome to anime

        1. Bruceski

          Not just anime. People get WEIRD about twins.

        2. Phil

          Yeah I know some Yuuzhan Vong who worship twins as gods >.>
          (Incidentally, also some Children of the Vault, but the twin-ness is not the cause for worship in that case.)

      3. Delicious Taffy

        Oh, poor naive Shitbird. Anime doesn’t care.

      4. Sirksome

        It”s okay hecause despite looking similar we later find out Walky was adopted and is actually Sal’s twin cousin and crown prince from a ruined kingdom that was engaged to her when they were toddlers! Which means they have to marry to preserve the royal blood but will also leave Walky convenietly availabe with an excuse to bang the other girls in his harem. This is all just in the first episode by the way.

        1. UrsulaDavina

          The fact that this is an actual troupe is distressing.

          Also not confined to Anime see: The Hapsburgs and like every royal family in history of the world up until the mid 20th century and still happens sometimes beyond that.

        2. Skadi

          Ah, the fun game of “Family Tree or Tumbleweed”.

        3. Marsh Maryrose

          Fishing-boat captain and author Linda Greenlaw, born on a small fishing island in Maine, describes her family tree as being more like a family wreath

        4. Roborat

          So something like Tenchi Muyo then.

    2. Yotomoe

      Nah she’s the sassy sister character. Her job is to hit Walky with oversized mallets when she thinks he’s being a pervert.

      1. Clif

        Which is always.

        1. Yotomoe

          I don’t have a voice in my head for Sal but I’d love to hear her screaming “BAKAAAA” with her accent.

        2. Opus the Poet

          I hear her as Delta Burke not laying it on as thick as she did playing Suzanne Sugarbaker. Just a touch.

        3. Proto

          Back-ah!

        4. Roborat

          Dammit, now you guys have me seeing this as a mash up of Tenchi Muyo and Love Hina.

      2. Needfuldoer

        Straight to Horny Jail.

  8. Jane

    Sage advice from Joyce. Never listen to yourself speak.

    Hm? You say that’s bad for personal growth? Well I’m PERFECT, so that doesn’t apply to me. What do you mean that saying that kind of thing means that I need to start paying attention to what I say!?

    1. Clif

      I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.

  9. Suet

    Lucy: “He’s mine, you hear? MINE!“

    “Hompk”

    1. RowenMorland

      Lucy hangs out with them to make friends and try to do Walky, and she’s almost struck out with Walky.

    2. Jhon

      Lucy needs to play with Walky’s hair.

  10. Proto_Eevee

    Here come the Walky/Joyce shippers. Tbh I never really liked their relationship in the walkyverse

    1. King Daniel

      heresy

      1. Clif

        hisery as well. What does Proto have against the rain?

        1. King Daniel

          They are the storm we all have to endure.

    2. John

      I still hold that they make better semi-antagonistic pseudo-siblings than they ever did a couple.

    3. Mravac Kid

      Them are fightin’ words!

      1. Mravac Kid

        Together Forever!

        1. Chris

          NSFW?

        2. Demoted Oblivious

          Nah. Totally SFW. Unfortunately.

        3. milu

          nope it’s wholesome as fuck

  11. Dr. T

    From some of the websites I’ve seen, Lucy also needs to confirm that Sal isn’t interested in doing Walky.

    1. Lia

      you should see better websites

    2. Kyrik Michalowski

      Isn’t the internet a wonderful place?

      1. Clif

        Educational too.

    3. Yotomoe

      Twins: Aesthetically great as a pair, but then it becomes weird when you try to take it too far.

      1. Clif

        At one time, I had a girl friend who was fond of the phrase, “Incest is Best. Roll Your Own.”

        We were not related.

        1. DrunkenNordmann

          She’d probably enjoy Crusader Kings then.

        2. Roborat

          Alabama says hello.

  12. Stephen Bierce

    *plays ELO’s “Do Ya” on the P.A. speakers*

    1. Delicious Taffy

      No such thing as a bad pick when it comes to ELO.

  13. Lia

    my god sarah thats it u put it into words…….. ryan reynolds jake jyllenhal it is a hundred percent oh my god it totally oh my god dot gif

  14. DailyBrad

    I have no idea if Walky is down for casual fun, anyway, but I admit, Sarah and Walky shacking up could be funny, so it’s a bit of a shame we’re not getting it. 😛

    Lucy is so goddamn cute.

    1. Nono

      Amber was kinda casual, in a way.

    2. Yotomoe

      I can totally get behind the height difference. Tall girl/short guy is hot cute!

      1. Devin

        I could not agree more.

    3. Doctor_Who

      I’d be down for it happening just because it might result in Joyce accidentally seeing Walky naked one morning, and her reaction would be Ultimate Joyce Face.

      1. Yotomoe

        Even worse she’d see Sarah AND Walky naked. I’ve never tried it myself but seeing two of your friends nude definitely’s gotta poison the ol’ mind for a bit.

        1. Clif

          Hm. I suppose it would depend on who the friends were.

        2. Yotomoe

          I dunno. I don’t even wanna see my hot friends naked. I won’t be able to get it out of my mind for different reasons!

  15. DiDi

    It’s really weird when you’re basically like Sal and don’t see a difference. I keep trying to see if something subtly shifted in the drawing and I’ve got nothing.

    1. Grimeyville

      Possible answer: Walky doesn’t look different, but his current attitude and mild personality shift with Mike gone has /made/ him hot.

      1. Mordecai

        Shot-in-the-dark Prediction: Booster will say this as if it’s really obvious

        1. Grimeyville

          I mean. Yes.

        2. a/snow/mous/e

          oh man, i hope Booster has something to say about this. (and yeah, personality seems plausible to me. i also don’t see why everyone’s saying that Walky’s hot now)

      2. Mr D

        I thought the big personality shift that Walky had was “It hurt me that Mike died and I’m okay with that and I’m not okay with THAT”

    2. Alex

      The strip is (presumably) an approximation of real life. So there might be changes that don’t show up in Willis’s drawing style.

  16. Sporky

    DoA Joyce just said Walky is hot, the world is ending

  17. Bagge

    Lucy makes a move.

    She’d better or someone else will snag him before she does.
    (at least she’d get closer if he’s not that into her, which I suspects)

    1. plasticwrap

      I think this is true! If she dilly-dallies too long she’ll miss her shot!

    2. Yotomoe

      I honestly have this feeling Walky’s not ready to date at the moment. Still hung up on both Amber and maybe a bit on Dorothy. Dude needs some time but the girls keep coming.

      1. Clif

        Still hung up on Dorothy and a bit on Amber. Fixed that for you.

      2. All-Purpose Guru

        Nobody said anything about “dating”, mainly schtoinking.

    3. Bagge

      I meant so say that she would get closure.

      On the other hand, I’m pretty sure HER plan is to get closer without having to actually make a move.

    4. Keulen

      I kinda hope she does make a move soon, because Walky clearly isn’t getting her hints so far.

  18. Jonah Sanville

    i just….i cant see it?? is that the point?? he looks exactly the same. i feel lost

    1. Clif

      Nothing is real except what’s in our head. The rest is just applied mathematics.

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        Everything is real /except/ what’s in our heads. We’re stuck applying mathematics through faulty biologicaly evolved coprocessors to try and sort out a massive sensory data stream that straight-up lies to us. We’re stuck with a false sense of independent thought, a very weak ability to self check our conclusions, and a prediliction for rationalising emotional fight, freeze, or flight responses. None of which help hold back the darkness of the absurdity of existence or the futility of what is effectively eternity.

        Despite that though, I’d still like to buy you a pint Clif. You seem an interesting set of auditory input to parse.

        1. milu

          or wait, check this out, maybe “real” is a concept that is impossible to define without reference to cognitive processes, therefore it only makes sense as a function of consciousness, therefore nothing is real except what’s in our minds? QEDeeeeee

          (i’m being silly ok, don’t quote me or whatever)

        2. milu

          PS i agree with you about Clif. they sound fun. they might sort of owe me a painting, but, you know. that’s ok. they shared a random genetics articles yesterday, so i guess they’re still in my good book

        3. a/snow/mous/e

          oh did they?? i have a genetics degree actually lol

        4. milu

          i mean actually it wasn’t straight genetics research, it was taxonomy research that used genetic dating to support the hypothesis that bird and mammal lice diversified at the same time as their host species. (spoiler: sure seems like they did ^^)

          i did read it because what the hell, but it’s not fascinating unless you’re super into lice phylogeny. i think Clif was just being goofy but i imagine they have something to do with biology or why would the pun on “radiate” even occur to them. anyway, hi there Clif if you’re listening

        5. Demoted Oblivious

          Wait wait. So did bird lice diverge when mammals and reptiles diverged, or did the lice evolve later, cover multiple species and then diverge when birds did from sauropods?

          I mean, I imagine that lice would be a pretty early adaptation to the evolution of megafauna…

          Dina, can you jump in on this?

        6. Demoted Oblivious

          Also, 4. Four posts. It took four posts to go from, “Buy Clif a pint,” to the genetic analysis of the divergence of avian and mammalian lice.

          That. Is. AWESOME.

        7. milu

          hahaha guess we just can’t stop talking about lice, YEAH BABY GROOM ME hrm sorry, so listen, this is what i got from the journal article (which is linked in yesterday’s comment section btw, this is all happening in public =P). i’m not a biologist, so grain of salt. grains of salt. all the salt.

          Birds and mammals are the only groups that even have lice; not sure why, but i imagine it would have something to do with having dense fur/plumage.

          Birds and mammals both appeared long before the end-cretaceous (K-Pg) extinction 65Mya, and so did their respectice lice. the research dates the common ancestor to the existing lice lineages to around 100Mya. They do that by comparing their genome to that of a closely related outgroup (bark lice).

          After the K-Pg extinction, with so many dominant species gone (non-avian dinosaurs and pterosaurs in particular) mammals and birds both underwent a big radiation event (increase in the diversity of species within a group). It had long been assumed that ectoparasites such as lice would undergo a similar radiation at roughly the same time, because that’s just what made the most sense— but it appears that hadn’t been studied yet.

          The article mentions that research has gone into showing that the somewhat similar parallel situation of the co-evolution of flowering plants and pollinating insects has been much better researched, so they weren’t expecting to break new ground here, just confirm a widely-held hypothesis with actual data, and that’s just what they did =)

    2. Rainhat

      I’ve just opted to take that as the joke. Working fine so far!

    3. Loki

      Reminds me of the episode of Pokémon where Brock points out subtle differences between all Sister Joy (Sisters Joy? Sister Joys?). Meanwhile, several of them are shown on screen and look exactly the same.

      1. Fist_of_Life

        I think Sisters Joy is grammatically correct? I assume it would be the same as the Brothers Grimm.

        1. Demoted Oblivious

          Yes, and Governors General, Commanders in Chief etc.

    4. Spencer

      His hair has been longer and messier since the timeskip.

    5. Heather

      I recall a lot of people liking his hair etc and how he looked upon his first appearance after the time skip. Sal also got further compliments if I recall in the comments. But like the difference between Walky now and yesterday in their time stream is nothing.

  19. Lia

    all you people saying you see no change are lying to yourselves and should just start licking the screen like the rest of us

    1. Thag Simmons

      You’re doing what to your screen?

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Licking it.

        1. Clif

          My screen has no taste and neither do I.

        2. SolomonK

          Funny line, Clif, but I dispute it, by which I mean “Thank you for your kind response to my question about themes in DoA the other day.”

        3. Jhon

          My screen tastes like the soda I snorted out my nose last week.

  20. Kyrik Michalowski

    Lucy is making sure she doesn’t have any competition for Walky’s affections. I have to admit, if they were to do the horizontal tango then I would almost certainly pay to see it.

    1. Clif

      But the thing is, the way she’s going about it is calculated to reduce her lack of competition. Nothing makes something more desirable than someone else not wanting you to have it. It’s the way humans are constructed.

      For the most part.

      1. Fist_of_Life

        She has turned Walky into forbidden fruit. They must have him now.

    2. All-Purpose Guru

      It would be so cuuuuute

  21. RassilonTDavros

    I love how Panel 3 Joyce simultaneously betrays a) her confusion over suddenly finding Walky attractive, b) her jealousy of him having dated Dorothy when she can’t admit her feelings, and c) how conflicted she is over feeling both of these things at the same time.

    1. Yenklette

      Yeah, everyone’s fixated on this being Joyce/Walky shipping fuel when Sarah literally calls out the Jorothy (?) fuel right there in Panel 3. I’m actually starting to wonder if it’s going somewhere. I honestly think it would be really interesting to explore Joyce recognizing some actual bicuriosity, and not just as a joke.

      1. Yenklette

        *Panel 4, oops!

        1. Yenklette

          Okay, far-fetched prediction: This chapter began with Dorothy and Becky finally starting to make peace. It will end with Joyce realizing she has feelings for Dorothy, thereby thrusting Becky into an absolute maelstrom of emotional turmoil.

          I know it’s unlikely, but in my defense, I’m pretty sure this is the second or third time this particular chapter has made an allusion to Joyce’s “no I’m totally straight but girl is just, really pretty…” tendencies. So it does feel like an actual Thing they’re building toward right now.

        2. Delicious Taffy

          If Joyce and Dorothy don’t canonically become legally gay married to each other and adopt at least 3 cats together by the year 2025, I will drink an entire Pepsi.

        3. Clif

          Pepsi? That’s pretty bold of you.

        4. RassilonTDavros

          As long as it’s not Crystal Pepsi. Crystal Pepsi is the path to the dark side.

          Side effects of Crystal Pepsi may include, but are not limited to: compulsive urges to betray all of your friends, delusions of having existed since the morning of the universe, and a willingness to justify your actions by stating that at least you never filmed a dead body you found in the woods. Don’t bother contacting your doctor to see if Crystal Pepsi is wrong for you; It’s wrong for everybody.

        5. Clif

          What if you avoid all Pepsi but the symptoms still apply?

          Asking for a friend.

        6. Miri

          You mean “at least you never filmed the dead body you found in the woods” surely?

        7. Demoted Oblivious

          You’ve only left one?

        8. Demoted Oblivious

          Found! Found. I meant found. You’ve only found one?

        9. milu

          i know nothing about pepsy but you’re being goofy and i just wanted to hang out in your thread.

        10. Varangian

          Y-you shut up! Crystal Pepsi is great! Crystal Pepsi was amazing for the short time they brought it back! It allowed me to bring justice, freedom, peace, and security to my new empire!!

          …ah hell.

        11. Fist_of_Life

          Now hold on. What size of Pepsi are we talking about?

        12. RassilonTDavros

          Yeah, all the remarks other characters have made about Joyce having a crush on Dorothy over the years have genuinely seemed to be pretty on the mark to me. Though at the same time, all the jokes people like Walky made likely just made it harder for her to accept her feelings, given that she was still in “being gay is a sin” mode when they started. I’d like to think all that setup has actually been going somewhere, whether Dorothy ends up reciprocating or not. And of course, the one who initially convinced Joyce that her occasional attractions to women didn’t actually mean anything was friggin’ Jennifer, who is pretty much the queen of bi-erasure at this point. (And possibly other kinds of erasure, if my hunch about Jennifer turns out to be true…)

        13. Sirksome

          I doubt it will happen though. Maybe Joyce will eventually have a bi revelation but Dorothy is very solidly straight. She’s a straight as Becky is gay. I don’t know which strip bit I’m pretty sure she’s said something like I’m a zero on the homosexuality spectrum. Dorothy want D.

        14. Devin

          You’re absolutely correct. She did leave the slightest wiggle room, but I think that was more about explicitly acknowledging the potential fluidity of sexuality than leaving room for that shift later on. I could obviously be wrong but that’s my reading of it.

        15. milu

          y’all keep acting like you’d be shocked by a character in a coming-of-age story who has been claiming to be straight then later turned out to be queer as fuck?!!

          > “yes but Dorothy is very mature + she knows about the Kinsey scale, so”

          Dorothy wants to be president. Being gay is not good for being president. I mean, being gay is sort of scary generally. it’s very reasonable to be in denial about one’s bisexuality.

          Also reading all the books does not instantly copy-paste to deep emotional self-knowledge… or i would be so annoyingly wise by now. luckily i’m still a bumbling fuckup yayyy

        16. Mr D

          @milu
          If a character (or person) states their preference outright I tend to believe them.

        17. milu

          but characters are not people.

          If a person tells me they’re straight, i’m like “ok cool”. If a character says they’re straight, that’s the writer choosing to put those words into their mouth, so there’s a lot that could be asked, like:
          * how could this play out in the story?
          * what sort of cultural tropes does this reference, and what does it say about them?
          * how am i expected to react to this sort of storyline?
          * how might it be subverted?
          * what kind of emotions am i deriving from this, and why, and so on.

          and i think stories of characters adamant about their straightness who then find out they’re queer are interesting. you know?

        18. thejeff

          Anything’s possible, but a good writer will generally drop hints that the character might be in denial or lying or otherwise mistaken.

          Arguably that’s true of Joyce, but it’s hard to see it for Dorothy.

        19. Devin

          @milu my consideration for this takes into account the context, which was a conversation she was having with Danny, a person whom she trusts and has been vulnerable with, as well as the specific character in question, who is more likely to be self-aware (has explicitly made mention of some of her own flaws in the past) and have put specific thought into this than most others. Additionally as other people have said, there have been no thematic clues that call Dorothy’s statement into question. (I would especially like to point out that even her statement left room for potential change, so it would be inaccurate to characterize her as adamantly asserting she’s straight.) And yet even given all of that I wasn’t speaking with absolute certainty. Yes I’d be surprised at this point given all of this. I would be significantly less surprised about other characters, say Joyce.

          Could it be interesting for Dorothy to have a realization? Absolutely, but it’s not a sin to be surprised if Willis chooses to go that route given that it seems based on all signs that he’s not.

        20. milu

          aw man yeah i was a bit abrasive, sorry. i got worked up for no good reason.

          i agree that the scene in question had that sort of honest vibe, and i believe that Dorothy really believes she’s straight, and you’re absolutely welcome to feel whatever in the event of a revelation to the contrary =)

          i guess i just don’t remember the story well enough to say with confidence whether there have or haven’t been hints that she might find out she’s not straight. so, you’re probably right i guess!

        21. Sirksome

          @milu. It’s not really about whether Dorothy could come out as bi. I do think it’s possible, it’s just that in this 10+ year run there has not been much if any evidence for it. Unlike characters like Joyce or Danny, ect. Dorothy has not had any moments even hinting at any sort of bicurious inclination. It just hasn’t happened and I can’t comfortably make a claim without evidence. Like even Walky once joked he’d suck a dick for free pizza and was totally chill with Ethan checking out his butt. Dorothy hasn’t had the moment, much like Becky has never shown a shred of interest in a guy. Believe me, I’m waiting for it but I don’t know if it will hapoen.

        22. milu

          i mean i get that Dorothy doesn’t seem very bi. and sure, she’s probably straight. it’s just, pointing to her self-identification as a Kinsey zero as definitive evidence that it is preposterous to ship her with Joyce just sounds weird to me?

          and the comparison between her and say Becky only goes so far. Coming out as queer is not the same thing as stating that you’re straight. Everyone is presumed straight, including by themselves until proven otherwise.

        23. Yenklette

          I don’t think Jennifer persuaded her she wasn’t bi, actually. Jennifer was, if anything, encouraging to Joyce, but Joyce wasn’t ready.

          I don’t want to force a straight character to be gay or anything just for my own shipping fun (I actually agree with Devin and Sirksome that I think Dorothy is probably straight), but a lot of Joyce’s talk reminds me a *lot* of real-life closeted gay moments. “Haha, yeah, I’m super straight, I just think my friend is super cool and cute and wonderful and I feel happy when I’m around her and I have strong opinions about who she dates and feel jealous of those people.”

          It reminds me of the closely related, “Haha, yeah, I’m totally cis, I just think skirts are pretty and make fun swishing motions when I twirl. I just think pink’s a nice color. I just think being trans sounds neat, but I’m definitely cis.”

        24. Demoted Oblivious

          Sadly, We also don’t seem to have a lot of room in our culture for any spectrum. We want everything to be binary. Gay or straight, in or out, male female, trans or cis. Which must make things so much harder for nb and queer and anyone else who isn’t all-the-way anything. Which really, probably includes _everyone_ about /something/.

        25. RassilonTDavros

          Yeah, sorry I got the panel number wrong.

  22. Yotomoe

    Panel 3 had Sarah phrase that in the EXACT way to get me super turned on by the idea and phrased it like a negative thing. I guess I’ll add it to the list.

    1. BBCC

      Different people have different likes and dislikes. Just because it doesn’t do it for Sarah, doesn’t mean you can’t be into it.

    2. Delicious Taffy

      Tall women are hot. It’s well-documented.

      1. Yotomoe

        This is true. I have never understood guys who don’t like tall girls. That’s like…super BONKERS to me. God…imagine having a girlfriend who can reach the top shelves and junk. Sign me up!

        1. tyersome

          At a minimum that sounds anatomically awkward — maybe you could consider not putting your junk on the top shelf?

        2. Yotomoe

          If you don’t put it out of reach you’ll be messing around with it all day. It’s about setting boundaries!

        3. tyersome

          I can see the advantages of your approach, but I’m pretty much inseparable from my junk. I mean there seems to be little point in keeping it if you aren’t going to play with it — though I must admit that does seem to rub other people the wrong way when I try to involve them …

        4. Yotomoe

          It is very important to rub people the correct way.

        5. Roborat

          Cats too, otherwise things can get painful.

        6. Devin

          Then why did I bother paying extra for detachability?

        7. Sirksome

          Fear, Yotomoe. The fear in every man’s heart when faced with the option of having it all at the price of breaking the heavily ingrained societal stereotypes thrust upon them. It goes both ways too as Sarah has shown. Many women fear the short man. Humanity hasn’t yet evolved to that level. Enlightenment is still out of reach.

        8. Clif

          Enlightenment is on the top shelf.

        9. Leorale

          +1 Clif

        10. Devin

          I’m over 6′ tall and there’s very little that catches my eye more effectively than a woman being taller than me. It’s an attribute I very much appreciate.

      2. Yotomoe

        Also not to be too crass but you can rest your head on a tall girl’s chest when you hug them and that is both comforting and like super duper hot. (assuming she lets ya I guess.)

        1. Leorale

          Yeah our society is really deeply stupid about short people, very especially short men.
          More for me, but still, it’s bullshit and I wish society would cut it out.

        2. tyersome

          You might find this comic to be relevant to your interests 🙂

    3. deathjavu

      Fucking preach, this comment thread is all solid gold. Just all of it.

    4. Rocketboy1313

      “I know that I just met her Mr. Red, but I love her. She is… sturdy. I want to climb her.” -Fes, “That 70’s Show”

    5. Leorale

      “What you said, but without the sarcasm”

  23. BBCC

    I believe that was the conclusion, yes, Lucy.

    1. Clif

      It may be a conclusion, but it’s very much not what Joyce said.

  24. Reltzik

    Sorry, Panel 4 Joyce. Dorothy’s a hipster. She was into Walky BEFORE he was hot.

  25. Sirksome

    I’d like to mention by the way that this some prime evidence for the Joyce is a heavily repressed bisexual theory. Her stating Walky previously not being hot enough for Dorothy is Joyce casually admitting she thinks Dorothy is hot. I wish Becky were here to call her out on this!

    1. RassilonTDavros

      I would say that I’ve been saying this for years, but I only got into Willis’ work a few months ago.

      …but if I had been reading for years, then I definitely would have been saying this for years.

    2. Clif

      It’s true that this is Joyce admitting that she thinks Dorothy is hot, but this is also her admitting that she thinks Walky is now hot.

      1. Sirksome

        I think she admitted that a long time ago. I vaguely remember her noticing a certain singing mouse boy as cute in old episode of the humming hymmel or whatever that show was. It’s just until now he wasn’t hot enough for Dotty. Which means all this time Walky was hot but Joyce thought Dorothy was hotter!

        1. Yenklette

          I am glad that we Smirking Sarahs are in alignment on this.

        2. Demoted Oblivious

          Thirded.

  26. Hazel

    Sarah saying she’s the protagonist like it’s nothing in a comment about sex and no one reacts to it either is so, so, so satisfying and funny to me.

    1. Clif

      We’re all the protagonist in our own anime.

      1. Keulen

        Walky seems to be looking like a harem anime protagonist at this point. I’m not sure I want to know what type of anime I’m the protagonist in.

        1. Roborat

          I always wanted to be the protagonist in a To Love-Ru style anime.

  27. plasticwrap

    Do we really think Joyce is bisexual? Sure, Lucy called her a white bisexual version of herself, but do we REALLY think Joyce is secretly into girls? And as luck would have it, never Becky?

    1. Delicious Taffy

      We’d really like for her to be, at the very least.

    2. UrsulaDavina

      Maybe Joyce may be hetroflexiable or saiposexual or demisexual. Which may explain why she is super interested in Dorothy.

    3. Rycan

      I could easily see it being either way. For now, I’m just treating it as an unknown.

    4. RassilonTDavros

      Even Joyce’s heterosexual urges are extremely repressed, so I can totally buy that she’s had attraction to other women but simply never recognized that attraction for what it was. As for her not having feelings for Becky, I think it’s pretty clear at this point that Joyce sees Becky as the sister she always wanted and never (realized she) had.

    5. Yotomoe

      Maybe she’s not sexually attracted to Dorothy but she’s like…in love with Dorothy. I’ve got lots of dudes I would never touch or kiss cuz it’s gross to me but like…I’d be super cool being married to them.

      1. Leorale

        Oh fun, bi-romantic heterosexual Joyce.

        1. thejeff

          That’s kind of my theory. Complicated, as explicitly called out long ago, by Becky warping her notions of close friendships between girls.

    6. thumb

      Well according to her, Julia Gray and President Doris, based on herself and Dorothy, are definitely emphatically not into each other.

      So I guess she’s not bisexual even a little bit. You can tell by the volume of denial.

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        She’ll go to eleven.

    7. timemonkey

      I don’t think she is, she’s even expressed the occasional desire to experience such attraction. She just doesn’t hold anything back when it comes to affection.

    8. Yenklette

      I think that if Joyce is bisexual (or biromantic—good call on that), it’s very obvious that she thinks of Becky as a sister. I won’t be the first person here to point out that you can be capable of romantic/sexual attraction to someone, and love them very intensely, and still have no such interest in them. Joyce clearly feels a different way about Becky than she does about Dorothy, bi or not.

      1. Sirksome

        That’s the same thing I was thinking. It’s kind of the same relationship Walky and Jennifer have or had as of current events. They aren’t blood related and have been available romantic partners to each other for years and yet never banged? Why?! Because they’re more like siblings than friends and not every sexually compatible relationship leads to pairing.

  28. Hinoron

    “WE’VE agreed that YOU’VE decided not to do Walky”? Very carefully omitting herself?

    Interesting…

  29. Rycan

    Nice use of “If I can’t see you, you can’t see me!” logic, Joyce.

  30. Notmuch

    Oof, pour one out for the short guys. :/

    1. Yotomoe

      I feel bad for really short guys honestly. Among other things. It’s weird how I’m only recently noticing that men kinda get bodyshamed by ladies quite a bit as well. I mean everyone has tastes but sheesh it’s no fun being a punchline.

      1. Leorale

        Yes, it is shitty.
        After we end fatphobia, let’s take this as the next step for body positivity, please and thank you

    2. Zaxares

      Yeah. I had to wince at that line too. I mean, everybody does have their tastes and you’re entitled to your preference, but there’s a difference between saying “I like tall men” and “Short men can’t be sexy”.

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        To be fair, Sarah did make it clear it was her preference, not that as a general thing shorties can’t be sexy.

  31. Bicycle Bill

    Still can’t quite get used to treating the concept of ‘doing’ someone – which I assume means doing the mattress mambo – as casually as if one was talking about going to McDonald’s.  Reduces it to nothing more than just another biological function, like going to the bathroom and taking a good healthy poop.

    1. Yotomoe

      I mean it kinda is. I do think we kinda put too much importance on sex. Like it’s super intimate and you gotta be careful cuz there’s a lotta trust and feelings and stuff involved, but at the end of the day it’s just some weird shit we mammals do that feels really good. So I’ve heard…

      1. Demoted Oblivious

        Hear hear Yoto, and it’s not even restricted to mammals. There’s all kinds of variations on sexual reproduction, including friggin’, … sorry, fucking TREES man. Now, whether you want to qualify those different kinds of reproductive act as ‘having sex’, or fucking is definitely up for debate. I wouldn’t call two fish popping out their eggs and semen into a river near some rocks ‘intimate’, yet at the same time, I readily call out those “fucking trees” in the spring when they be spooging their pollen all over the place and kicking my allergies into over-drive.

        But does sex feel good for other animals? Well, it’s a solid explanation for my parrot masturbating on his perch, and I can’t readily think of a better reason for a male mantis to risk being eaten to get passionate with a female unless it was going to feel DAMN good. (well aside from fulfilling an innate drive or instinct, but pleasure sure is a good way of motivating something).

        Do we mammals put our own spin on it? Sure, but it’s not unique to our branch of the tree of life. Not even the wierd shit.

        1. Yotomoe

          I’ve always called Pollen season just a big planetary Plant Bukakke.

  32. BenRG

    It’s weird that Joyce has this incredibly clear self-awareness and yet it doesn’t impact on her behaviour at all! Not so much ‘no filter’ as ‘no internal monologue’.

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      But her awareness does though, just not necessarily in this case. Joyce has arguably demonstrated the most character growth, and it’s affected how she treats Becky, her family, and friends, including new acquantances, like Booster. She just also still carries around some blind spots or willful ignorance, and frankly with all she’s gone through, I can’t begrudge her taking the time for a breather before pushing through more change, or even choosing to maintain status quo on some aspects of herself.

    2. StClair

      I agree that it’s weird, and would add that IMO it’s intended/used (by Willis, not by her) for comedic effect.

      “This is a joke. Observe how I am aware of my situation and behavior and yet, at the same time, not at all. It is funny.”

  33. Dara

    I love this line coming from Joyce and I’m not even sure why but it’s awfully, awfully good, and maybe one of the best lines of hers?

    “I try not to. People always tell me I’m embarrassing.”

    1. Keulen

      “People Always Tell Me I’m Embarrassing” would make a good DoA book title. Though I also like “So We’ve All Agreed You’ve All Decided to Not Try to Do Walky”.

  34. Varangian

    Lucy is GOAL-FOCUSED. GOOD ON YOU, sis.

    Sarah, on the other hand, has a terrible attitude about this. To me, Sarah, that thinking is preposterous. Crab Rangoon, things of that nature.

  35. K. Ivan Ruppert

    Oh good, I’m not the only one who remembers that old Nickelodeon game show Double Dare.

  36. 0phidiophile

    Has Joyce been taking lessons from Robin?

  37. Rabisch

    Lucky, GO FOR IT!

  38. thumb

    Smooth, Lucy. No one noticed.

  39. ziggy78eog

    Sarah, Joyce, and Lucy all, “do”, Walky. You even can mix and match, for all sorts of pairings; I swear, these Slipshine strips just write themselves.

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      Why does this remind me of … was it Tom Greene? “Kiss me. Now you kiss me. Now you kiss her.”

  40. Bunivasal

    Please don’t remind me of the one week in college I was hot

  41. milu

    THEY GONNA HOMPK

  42. Avian Maria

    I love how Walky hears none of this despite being just feet away and them all going to class as a group. What a beautiful idiot.

  43. milu

    Anyone else feeling like Sarah is really trying to convince herSELF that she doesn’t want anything to do with Walky?

    Sounds like a friend of mine who was starting to develop an unconvenient crush on her Tinder regular fuckbuddy, and she would go through this laundry list of sort of unfunny jokes he’d made and vaguely irritating habits he had that she would never hold against someone normally, but in his case were proof positive that they couldn’t possibly be together

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      An Inconvenient Crush: A no-holds barred look at online dating, pair bonding, and not procreating. By Al Gore. Coming 2023 (with the notch in the 2 meshing with the 3 to make a sideways heart emoji, a la <3)

      And yeah, maybe Sarah is protesting too much, or maybe she just knows what she likes and gets a chance to spout some negativity. I mean, she really didn't have a problem acknowledging her desire for Jacob. She was just more driven to see Raidah lose him.

      1. milu

        oh i don’t think Sarah has a problem with her sexual desires in general. She just sounds annoyed to find herself attracted to Walky, specifically

        1. milu

          also the <3 emoji made from the 2 and the 3 is genius

    2. Demoted Oblivious

      I can almost picture Sarah going all Jessica Jones/Luke Cage if she ever had a chance at Jacob. Especially with her attitude and that ‘protagonist/obstacle course’ mentality.

  44. Zatar

    Solid logic Sarah.

    1. Zatar

      Heh heh heh Okay this is a Gravatar I can get behind.

  45. DarkoNeko

    Speaking of hot, how can you leave your neck open like that, it’s freezing outside <_<

  46. Pat

    You’re so good at using panel gutters as beats.

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