145

Omnisexual
Posted on June 18, 2023 by David M Willis

145 thoughts on “Omnisexual”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    “I was unaware that hotness was a subjective quality, despite the scientific-sounding nomenclature”

  2. Animedingo

    Billie you suck

    1. Rose by Any Other Name

      Jennifer, on the other hand, seems unlikely to given her current dissatisfaction with Asher.

      1. Kyrik Michalowski

        I see what you did there. Nice.

      2. cbwroses

        One more reason Billy was better.

  3. Yeet

    Goddammit Jennifer, stop being mad at people for doing things you claim to want them to do or you’re going to be mad over dumb shit forever
    Pick something more important to be mad over, like everything insisting you use an app now

    1. UrsulaDavina

      Exactly maybe I want to use a website instead of simplified version. Fuck you Paycor!

      1. wilddeath

        I have nerve damage in my fingers which make navigating smart phones difficult at the best of times. An actual computer website is preferable for me and i imagine for other people in my position.

        1. Decidedly Orthogonal

          Seriously! The ability to pinch and zoom on virtually anything is one of a touch-screens greatest strengths, and these morons are doing everything they can to nuke that. ??‍♂️

          It’s right up there with formatting and structuring a website only for mobile browsing. Thanks ING/tangerine. It looks great on my phone, but I’d like to see the balance on more than just two of my accounts when I’m on my 4k computer monitor.

  4. Dot

    Billie’s been kind of one note since regressing to being Jennifer, huh

    1. ZerglingOne

      I think she’s coming to the uncomfortable realization that she’s attracted to guys like Walky, and the level of existential dread that’s putting in her is causing her to act this way.

      1. Archieve

        Think until this realization she thought she had made huge social progress, now it feels to her like she’s just gone in a circle.

        1. Needfuldoer

          She may have actually regressed if that’s her takeaway.

          At best she’s been spinning her wheels, because she’s still assigning all value to social cliques and outward appearances. She needs to decide who she is, but that would mean introspection and she’s not going to do that any time soon. Instead, she’ll double down on molding the world to fit her high school drama structure.

    2. Thag Simmons

      I mean she’s always kinda been like this

    3. Meagan

      Before she was one note in a different way, no? Booze, basically. And denial of issues.

  5. NGPZ

    I see Jennifer is still trying desperately to fill that Ruth-shaped hole in her life. ?

    Also, re:Alt-Text, Jennifer at the very least could use some more Dina in her life. ?? ✌️?

    1. Proxiehunter

      And the . . .

      On second thought I’ll leave the obvious jokes about her Ruth shaped hole to others.

      1. jflb96

        I didn’t think that that’s how those worked, even if they had been together long enough

    2. Angel

      well i suppose knowing that you’re attracted /wanting to be in a toxic relationship is slightly better than being blindsided by it, but hopefully jen won’t get into a relationship with another suicide pact that she follows through on/attempts

    3. Needfuldoer

      PFFFBBT

  6. Animedingo

    Also dream otp right here

    1. RassilonTDavros

      …which one?

      1. Zero

        Becky and Asher, obviously.

  7. BBCC

    Welp, she and Asher are on the rocks. I give it another couple days maximum in comic time.

    Which, y’know, could still be a while.

    And yeah, I’d like to see Dina’s thoughts on this too.

    1. HueSatLight

      Ominously named chapter “It’s the Love I Haven’t Got” incoming.

  8. Just an Armadillo

    I’m proud to have reached a point in my life where people like Jennifer aren’t hot to me anymore. I consider it a sign of personal growth.

    1. Angel

      well physically i think some features are still there but yeah ‘hotness’ can’t rly outweigh a terrible personality, surprised some ppl get away with as much as they do, fame/riches aside, then again i’m more demi leaning to begin with

      1. Needfuldoer

        … Huh…

    2. Bogeywoman

      Which ironically would increase the chance of Billifer being attracted to you

    3. Needfuldoer

      As Judge Judy once put it, “beauty fades, dumb is forever”.

  9. Sirksome

    One day in the future Becky and Dina will have to buy the women of IU apology donuts.

    1. Matthew Davis

      Luckily Dina has moved past obligatory greeting and into friendship with Joe, so he can give them the skinny on the best apology donut places.

  10. JessWitt

    Huh I can’t shake this feeling that Asher and Jennifer aren’t long to be together.

    1. Needfuldoer

      At least until he starts assertively pushing back, and that reignites her spark.

  11. UrsulaDavina

    Never change Dina, unless you develop a deplorable personality feature, like getting way way WAY to into Warhammer 40k lore then please do change.

    1. Dunedon

      Arg … Sorry, flagged this by mistake (far fingers on phone) …

      All I really wanted to say was “Hey! I represent that remark” 😉

      1. UrsulaDavina

        No worries it happens. I am not saying it’s bad to be into Warhammer 40k or Warhammer.fantasy just ya know don’t get to into it ?. Although I have heard about the endtimes in Warhamer Fantasy and I am sorry.

      2. vlademir1

        But how do you represent it? Being gigeresque? Wearing blue and gold? Driving a very fast red car? 😀

        1. UrsulaDavina

          I understand one of those references.

        2. UrsulaDavina

          I had to sound one of them out so now I understand two.

        3. MiaFillene

          Too late for me. I got all three references. And understood them. Help!!!

    2. Buttery Commissar

      It’s true, we are the worst fandom. 😉

      Jokes aside, you don’t worry about the 40K fans who love the lore and the setting and just want to read and talk about it. They may info dump but they’re just excited.

      You worry about the ones that enjoy the openly fascist factions “too much* and use the “purity” rhetoric as a proxy to talk about why folk shouldn’t be allowed to “be in the fandom”. Which is less a dogwhistle and more an entire airhorn about their wider views.

      For the rest of you: Imagine if someone’s sole interest in Star Wars was using the Empire to justify why certain groups of people shouldn’t be allowed to enjoy Star Wars, until you realise that person is just racist and phobic. That’s the gauntlet you run walking into 40K spaces.

      1. UrsulaDavina

        Yeah I was kind of alluding to the fascist xenophobic element ls of the fanbase.

        1. UrsulaDavina

          *elements the damn auto correct split my text. Anyway I know some warhamer players both fantasy and 40k and they aren’t fascists or xenophobic, I assume most of the fanbase isn’t.

      2. davidbreslin101

        Oh, believe me, creepy Star Wars Empire stans exist….

  12. Kyrik Michalowski

    Asher needs to dump Billie/Jennifer as soon as he can. No amount of sexiness will be enough to cover up her bullshit. She’s the type of person that deserves nothing but one night stands, and honestly that would make life easier. She isn’t around long enough to make herself or her partner’s worse.

    1. Johan

      He… ordered a hit. He’s not exactly great…

      1. Devin

        He is not. Which is what it makes it absolutely buck wild that I still want better for him than Jennifer is seemingly able to give.

      2. BBCC

        A hit on BLAINE, that’s a public service.

  13. C.T. Phipps

    Wow. Jennifer is really put off by even the slightest bit of geekness.

    Butt Taco is cool!

    1. UrsulaDavina

      A bit ironic that she loves Star Wars specfically Kit Fisto, but she probably is suppressing that aspect of her personality.

      1. Needfuldoer

        Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

  14. cbwroses

    Damn it, Jennifer.

  15. RassilonTDavros

    So Jennifer’s type is “I can fix them,” followed by a loss of attraction as the fixing begins to take hold? Yeah, that’s a wee bit of a conundrum so far as long-term relationships are concerned.

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      I hope she can get away from that kind of attitude. You shouldn’t need to “fix” your partner in life. Can being together make you better people? Sometimes, but it should be a benefit, and not something you demand.

    2. Bryy

      I don’t get the play here. Asher has already stated that Jennifer “fixed him” in regards to smoking, but then she wanted him to start up, but now she’s upset again?

      1. Leorale

        Jennifer still likes drama and fighting and mutual self-destruction. Being in a drama hurricane makes her feel passionate and alive. Asher doing what she wants isn’t what she wants, because she wants him to fight with her.

      2. Needfuldoer

        She’s just mad because lately he’s been taking on the public image of the wrong Walkerton twin.

        She wants a cool, aloof, biker rebel who smokes, not a carefree goofball.

        At least for right now. She’ll change her mind and get mad that reality didn’t immediately bend to her will again later.

    3. Doopyboop

      I don’t think Jennifer’s type is necessarily ‘I can fix them’ though I can see why you’d think that. Her type seems to be ‘I can fix them’ but what it actually is, is ‘we can be poison together because we cannot be fixed’. She doesn’t actually want Asher to be better, although with Raidah’s influence she’s trying to, like, effect that to seem ‘mature’.

      Jennifer wants him to be sexy, hot, EXTREMELY MASCULINE(this part is mostly to put distance between herself and her relationship with Ruth since she’s trying to lean real hard on ‘I was straight all along!’), and a dangerous broody guy but not TOO dangerous, just the right amount to keep circulating drama of some kind into her life.

    4. APW

      I’d say that Jennifer’s type is “I can’t fix them”, which is why Asher is such a disappointment.

    5. Angel

      she just wants the bad boy stereotype i guess with asher

      or ‘attracted to narcissm’ or whatever. i wonder if anyone would be a ‘healthy’ relationship for her at this point

    6. Yeet

      I think she wants an exciting relationship but hasn’t worked out that can mean, like, going paintballing sometimes and not enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-etc ad nauseam

    7. Mturtle7

      My theory: her “type” is horrendously self-destructive and full of problems, not so that she fix them, but so she can convince herself that her own problems aren’t worth closely examining.

  16. NGPZ

    RE:alt-text, I really hope that means a possibility of a Dina Becky Jennifer polyamory!!!! ?

    1. Angel

      feels like that’d be a bit awkward, the only ‘realistic’ thing i can imagine happening within the scope of this storyline/universe is maybe jennifer ‘helping’ dina pick out ‘sexy’ outfits

      1. ShellShockBP

        Slipshine April fools comic.
        It’s a threesome where everyone has really bad dialogue/art and then at the end you learn it was Dina describing the fantasy scene, which in turn was based on one of Amber’s fics.
        Hard cut to Becky’s who’s [redacted] so much she’s become dehydrated.

    2. Amara

      I wasn’t expecting Dina to start their excursion into the poly waters but there’s no other way to interpret her intention imo. Maybe this will be how daisy finally gets laid lol.

      1. Angel

        i would just think it’d be a ‘bonding’ thing to check out hot girls together like how joe invited danny to ‘check out hot girls AND guys’ that one time lol, versus her being ‘open’ to a third person, tho i suppose someone that’s actively sexual can fulfill a need for becky if dina is ok with becky being involved with another person

      2. Mark

        OK, I’m weird: I thought “Dina wants to know specifically what attracts Becky to her, and getting an idea of what attracts her generally, would help with that.”

        1. brute

          that was my assumption too

  17. Yotomoe

    Ok y’know what Becky. You’ve got good taste kid.

    1. Sirksome

      Did you sponsor this strip or something?

    2. Kyrik Michalowski

      Becky is able to separate out personality and body long enough to potentially fantasize about Billie/Jennifer. However she still recognizes that Billie/Jennifer is not a great partner atm.

  18. thakoru

    It took me far too long to figure out that “Literally smoking” meant “smoking a cigarette” and not “on fire.”

    1. Golden Yak

      “I can’t believe he’s smoking cigarettes!”

      “Again you misunderstand Jennifer. Asher has ignited through spontaneous combustion and his body is currently smouldering with flames, his flesh searing from his bones.”

      1. Needfuldoer

        Ruth is armed with a fireplace poker and some tongs, eagerly awaiting the femur harvest.

    2. Joe Moose

      I had to read that panel twice before realizing that also.

      “He’s smokin’!”
      “Dangit, that’s what happens when he eats ghost peppers!”

    3. HueSatLight

      He’s wearing un smoking.

      1. HueSatLight

        been thinking all day about what kind of tuxedos each of the cast would wear.

    4. Angel

      i mean, that’s still a possibliity if youre not careful, like the ppl who somehow fall asleep while smoking

  19. Yotomoe

    Are you two looking for a third?

    1. Mewzard

      I know I shouldn’t hope for the impossible…but…*waits for Joyce to show up*

    2. Bogeywoman

      Perhaps cuckolding but in a lab and Dina is behind the observation glass taking notes?

      1. Taffy

        That’s just the plot of Rat Race.

  20. DarkoNeko

    Another very normal day for Billifer.

  21. Pocky

    there’s a certain point where personality detracts from any form of good looks

  22. Chaucer59

    Billie was mean, spiteful, selfish and self-centered, a misanthrope and a misogynist. Jennifer is just like Billlie, but nasty (and not in a Janet Jackson feisty way) and unlovable.

    1. Chaucer59

      On second thought, Jennifer could be my ex-wife. ?

    2. Angel

      it’s the “queen bee head cheerleader” mind set she never grew out of. she’ll either grow out of it in the next decade or two, or forcing her future 5 year old daughter to go down teh same path she does, assuming she’s not hyper rich and foisting all the responsibility of raising a child properly to some live in nanny (nothing against ppl who wanna be nannies/child care takers for a living but there’s a diff between occasionally helping and essentially having a stranger raise someone else’s child)

      1. BBCC

        There’s a non-zero chance she’ll inherit her dad’s money at some point. So, yeah, non-zero chance of a nanny.

        1. Angel

          i’m sure she’d get some of it but given how she was raised or emotionally distant from her parents they’d probably at least expect her to have her own career. unless it’s just more so “we have this huge house you can live in so you don’t need to worry about buying another”

  23. Well_Played

    I feel like Jennifer will end up with Walky at the end.

    1. Angel

      i do see them being capable as the only ones putting upwith each others BS. or just some fwb/hookups on and off again lol

      ca;’t rly imagine either of the mbeing ‘married’ tho, or jen only getting married for business/other benefits

      1. Bryy

        “Oh no. I like Walky’s weiner.”

    2. Devin

      I hope for better than that for Walky.

  24. Reltzik

    …. but wait, if Jennifer tells people to stop doing what she tells them to and they don’t stop doing what she tells them to do, are they still doing what she tells them to do?

    1. HueSatLight

      What she’s looking for in a partner is the Lament Configuration.

  25. Bogeywoman

    Becky repping the lesbian colours. Nice.

    Dina’s colour scheme is more aromantic than asexual, but could be agender which I think would suit her.

    1. UrsulaDavina

      Dina may be more demisexual I wouldn’t describe her as aromantic beacuse she clearly has romantic feelings towards Becky. Also I am not sure if she considers herself agender.

      1. UrsulaDavina

        I just noticed you meant the colour of their clothing. I still dont think Dina aromantic but falls under demisexuality of asexual umbrella.

      2. Bogeywoman

        I agree, demi. My mention of agender is purely the colours she’s wearing, but I do also know a lot of autistic folk who don’t feel connected to any gender because it’s just more nonsensical social stuff, so i can see her in that boat.

        1. UrsulaDavina

          Yeah I can see that

        2. Taffy

          As one of the resident AFWDFCTAGBIJMNSS’ses, I don’t necessarily see that reflected in Dina, but I also wouldn’t be surprised.

    2. Tan

      I believe Dina’s colors are get what you mix 1 part grey-ace with 3 parts DINOSAURS

    3. thakoru

      Dina’s been rocking a green, gray and black color scheme for longer than any of those flags have existed. (In real time, not comics time. Probably also in comics time; she’s at least been wearing the hat since she was a kid.)

  26. Angel

    yeah guess it’s not gonna last because for all his faults/disliked by ppl, i imagine asher is n’t rly the type to ‘play games’

  27. Owlmirror

    Huh. When I read “aloof and severe”, I didn’t think of Ruth; I thought of . . . Jennifer’s father. Unnamed, never seen, giving her plenty of money and zero actual interaction/attention.

    Am I wrong?

    1. LiterallyJustSomeGuy

      You’re not wrong

    2. Mturtle7

      Oh god it was Freudian all along

  28. Archieve

    Just tell him to be aloof and severe then, duh. In all seriousness I get the feeling Jennifer isn’t going to be happy no matter how Asher acts because she’s finding problems with him to distract from her own personal issues

  29. Clif

    Good to know, alt text. Good to knos.

    1. Clif

      We have word of Willis that Jennifer and Dina are endgame, but we also have word of Willis that Jennifer is Mike, so …

      1. milu

        I occasionally suspect that this Willis deity is not a very serious one. Something of a trickster figure mayhaps.

      2. Sombrero

        … we’ll have a dynamic endgame!!

        Don’t show me the door. I’ll take myself out.

  30. LiterallyJustSomeGuy

    I really want Asher to have some better friends. I wonder how Asher and Danny would interact, and I’d love to see Asher and Sal resolve more of the weirdness between them. I would especially love to see Jennifer’s reaction if Asher starts casually dating Danny and Sal.

    1. HueSatLight

      Asher sending group text to extra dirty cops who kill witnesses for him: Hey, you guys want to hang out some time? I know a place that has fancy hamburgers.

    2. Imogen

      Danny/Asher OTP to just absolutely obliterate Sal.

  31. foducool

    ASHER, RUN WHILE YOU CAN!

  32. Thomas

    Right, Dina doesn’t do objectification. Good for her! I guess that’s more her being ace or maybe her very specific brand of neurodiversity, because it’s sure as hell not simply because of autism.

    1. Mturtle7

      If I’m reading this context right, I’m pretty sure it’s just a combo of “very asexual” and “generally nice person who doesn’t like objectifying people”.

      1. Thomas

        I don’t think Dina’s asexuality is wholly inseperable from her neurodiversity, so I guess it’s a bit of both. Objectification is not something that comes natural to her, that’s for sure. I have a hard time believing some people are just too nice to engage in objectification. I think we all do it to a certain extent and there are certainly situations in which it’s socially acceptable to check other people out, f.e. in places like bars where people come to be seen and dress to impress.

    2. Imogen

      It does sort of drive me nuts how Dina’s neurodivergence sometimes feels like it’s used to make her “Perfect” in a weird fetishized way, so the “Dina’s not capable of objectification” joke bothers me a tiny bit if it’s from that direction.

      I think it’s mainly because she’s demisexual, though. Demisexual people’s attraction tends to be directly linked to personality, so in a sense, some of them may be “incapable” of (sexual) objectification simply because they don’t find objectified people attractive. Of course, you can sort of objectify people’s personalities, in a sense. Fetishized autistic perfection is one such example, in fact.

      1. Thomas

        Dina is certainly a character without observable flaws. The struggles she faces stem entirely from her difficulties in understanding social interactions. Fetishization happens as an audience reaction and not due to invitation by the narrative, I think. Would you say that Dorothy & Leslie, two other near-faultless characters, are similarly fetishized?

        1. Imogen

          Dorothy and Leslie make frequent bad judgment calls and are often the butts of the joke, so, no, I wouldn’t. People read Dorothy as “near-faultless” because her faults–workaholism, toxic productivity and a need to be “correct”–are very friendly to the kinds of people who analyze webcomic characters. 😛

  33. AGV

    Jennifer: Ugh, my cool boyfriend is acting like a massive dork just like my childhood not-friend

    Also Jennifer: My cool boyfriend is smoking when I told him not to? Why can’t he just be cool?!

    1. Icalasari

      No no, she’s upset that he’s smoking when she told him to

      1. Needfuldoer

        I’d be pretty stressed-out too, if my SO kept trying to make me play-act their idealized mental image.

  34. milu

    Y’all are so wrong about Jennifer. She’s best girl, like, no contest. (Malaya no longer being a girl cleared that top spot for her)

    1. spriteless aunty

      I think I’d like to see Malaya and Jennifer duke it out. Therapy through punching is Jen’s favorite right?

      1. Needfuldoer

        If Malaya thinks the other characters are “fakey”, wait until they meet Jennifer.

  35. ShellShockBP

    Becky’s outfit being the lesbian pride flag is one more reason why I love her.

  36. vanayh

    i love how becky is decked out in the lesbian flags colors

  37. Roam85

    Asher is a jerk. I am not rooting for Asher. That said, at this point then his answer is dump her. She wants aloof and severe, show her you’re ready to end things. That’s as aloof and severe as it gets.

    1. Sam

      I do think he should dump Jennifer. If he wants to turn around and be a good person, Jennifer ain’t the person who is gonna accept who he is and encourage positive growth. She likes drama.

    2. Victor Riley

      Yeah, I can’t believe I’m actually feeling sorry for Asher in that relationship. She needs a bit serving of humble pie.

  38. HueSatLight

    Don’t tell her Sal is hot, she already knows

  39. Nenja

    There’s no pleasing Jennifer, apperantly.

    1. Slartibeast Button, BIA

      “There’s no pleasing some people.”
      ‘That’s just what Jesus said sir!’

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQtNzXzDPX0

  40. Joy

    Has she seen a doctor for when Ruth threw her to the floor???

    1. NGPZ

      Probably just comical rough-housing as far as in-comic consequences are concerned, but if you’re talking about her paradoxical dialogue, it’s actually a text-book instance of what narcissists do in relationships.

      Jennifer wants her partner to act in accordance with what she wants, but also wants him to do it simultaneously without telling him. She wants to have her cake and eat it too, and will eventually dump Asher due to becoming the source of her own frustration like this.

  41. Imogen

    For those who don’t get it, Jennifer wants someone who can hurt her like Ruth did–and someone to show Ruth that she’s not doing better without her.

    1. Imogen

      Oh, and someone who needs her to fix them. I did forget that angle. Look, Jennifer’s kind of messed up, is the subtle subtext I’m alluding to.

      1. Plaaaa

        It’s got nothing to do with any of that. She’s upset because Walky upstaged her, and she’s incapable of being honest so she’ll attribute her rage to anything and everyone but what upset her.

      2. HueSatLight

        A lot of conflicting drives, they can’t all be met, but they can all be unmet.

  42. Suet

    Aloof and severe isn’t Asher’s job to do, it’s Joyce’s!

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