189

Options
Posted on December 2, 2013 by David M Willis
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189 thoughts on “Options”

  1. Aischylos

    *SHOVE*

    1. saltchocolate

      “I want to run to you . . .
      I want to run to you . . . ”
      (as sung by Whitney Houston)

      1. David Herbert

        “When the feeling’s right, I’m gonna stay all night
        I’m gonna run to you.”

  2. Vivvav

    Love seeing her put in her place.

    1. Nena

      She is not having a lucky time at IU, is she?

  3. Herohatch

    And just like that, Billie’s plans are crushed.

    1. Deathjavu

      Nope. Dorothy already ate! With Joyce.

      (ok so…we put *this* ball on *this* tee and then the fandom-)

      1. timemonkey

        They had tacos.

        1. ankhtahr

          Then the fandom had tacos?

          Yes I understand that you meant Joyce and Dorothy, but I couldn’t let this pass…

        2. madd

          Tongue tacos.

        3. timemonkey

          Butt tacos.

        4. TheBenenator

          Butt tongues.

      2. paradoxius

        It’s alright, though. Walky doesn’t want lunch; he just wants witnesses.

  4. Mr. Random

    Gravity! There you are!

    1. Ourorboros

      Gravity is a harsh mistress.

      1. Jenny Creed

        I think I’ll try defying gravity.
        *and now the song is on your mind too*

        1. xKiv

          Billie has been brought down.

        2. Arkantos

          But you’re not a tiger. Are you? I don’t know. This is the internet, after all.

      2. Cody B

        Harsh, but fair.

      3. Charlie Spencer

        So is the Moon.

        1. Static Air

          Sci-fi references for the WIN.

  5. GoldStarz

    Looks like Billie’s “matchmaking skills” have turned against her.

  6. Ourorboros

    And burned again, Billie.
    I hope that panel 5 was in slo-mo with fans making their hair flow.

    1. Aakriti

      I like the way you think!

  7. Deathjavu

    Heh, Dorothy already ate. Jokes on you Walky!

    1. Yotomoe

      He’ll just eat enough for the both of them.

      1. GoldStarz

        AND Billie!

        1. Mason Kramer

          He’s going to eat Billie????

  8. Keroshino

    That Glare!

    1. Kiggy

      Reminds me of the Jurassic Park T. Rex

    2. I dont know what to put here

      It’s paralyzing.

  9. Yotomoe

    You missed your chance Billie. And just like you, you don’t get do-overs.

    1. Bilfred

      *snaps fingers and hikes up suspenders*
      Well, darn! I thought for sure I could get do-overs on this one!

  10. David Herbert

    Oh, so she’s too busy for Joyce but can make time for Walky?

    She’s a horrible BFF.

    1. Yotomoe

      But a great Girlfriend.

    2. Deathjavu

      I don’t think she’s gonna stick around.

      1. isitsevenyet

        Ditto this. She probably only has time to say hi.

        1. begbert2

          Or maybe she’s going to drag Walky off and force him to study alongside her again.

    3. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

      BF>BFF

      1. EEWWW

        except when BF <3 BFF then </3 or reallly complicated.

        1. Mr. Bulbmin

          Oh, no, I just sorted out this dodecahedron of who would be willing to sleep with whom. We’re not going any further, as I am out of string.

        2. Arkantos

          But what about the cast-wide orgy that was proposed yesterday?

        3. GenericGuestName

          Hypercube?

    4. taekwondogirl

      I think she specifically came up for air to get something to eat, and happened to see Walky. Unfortunate timing.

      1. Deathjavu

        Isn’t she just on her way back to her room after lunch?

        1. Ourorboros

          Yes, she is (at the moment) just happy to run into her boyfriend.

  11. Gottawonder

    This is not Billie’s Week.
    Apparently, Sal and Walky are still not exactly on ‘speaking’ terms from Walky’s reaction to seeing her.

    1. John

      I don’t think Billie’s had a week since she got to college.

      1. Random832

        Has it even been a week?

        1. John

          Move-in day was three weeks ago today.

    2. xKiv

      Or Billie’s Month. Or Billie’s Year.

  12. Doctor_Who

    Panel 2: that is the least happy anybody has ever been while playing Mario Kart.

    1. LiaHansen

      Unless she also just got hit by a blue shell, that statement cannot possibly be true.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Blue shells suck, but somehow never enough to make me stop playing.

    2. Yotomoe

      Clearly you’ve never been shitty at Mario Kart.

      1. GoldStarz

        Or played against someone better than you.

        1. Yotomoe

          Which is everyone when you’re Shitty at Mario Kart.

        2. rachel

          my friends, please listen. in MK7, the mk that they are playing in this very sequence, if a blue shell is going to hit you, you can dodge it with a mushroom. seriously. if you lay on that speedyshroom RIGHT BEFORE the blue shell will hit, you will dodge it and it will blast behind you. for real.

          signed,
          a person who is using a signature on a commenting board. WEIRD

          p.s. I love mk

        3. Kyrros

          http://i.imgur.com/Y5AGd.gif

        4. rachel

          for realsies, fellow amber gravatar chooser!

        5. Deathjavu

          Yes, this is true, and has been true in every Mario Cart with blue shells. HOWEVER, the timing is incredibly finicky. More importantly, the ? boxes never drop mushrooms on someone in first!

          You can also do it with a boost pad on the ground, but that’s even harder to pull off than mushrooms. More available for someone in first though.

          As the XKCD below me notes in the hovertext, you *can* evade blue shells, but it is deep magic.

        6. rachel

          really, every other one? GAH. I didn’t know! I just… tried it one day, and I think I’ve gotten it to work twice? & then I woke the dead with my “HA-HAAAAA, EFF YOU BLUE SHELL” exclamations. I honestly thought that being able to ‘dodge the blue shell’ was akin to being able to save General Leo, and that Internet People always gon’ be spoutin’ it. et cetera.

        7. Roborat

          Wow, I had no idea there were blue shells in Mortal Kombat?

        8. Aljax

          I like you now.

        9. isitsevenyet

          Rainbow. Road. D:

          (I confess my only experience is with the Wii version of Mario Kart. And we had to sell our Wii a long time ago so now I miss it.) 🙁

    3. rowanmikaio

      Except for blue shells.

      http://xkcd.com/290/

    4. Kladeos

      When you can’t drive for shit in video games, especially racing games, you look like that. Especially when you somehow manage to be going the wrong way.

  13. Opus the Poet

    And how were there 2 comments up when I refreshed the comic with today’s comic? are you people just waiting to get the comic as soon as it comes out with comments pre-loaded and ready to copy/paste?(and 2 more waiting after I clicked the link to make a comment).

    1. LiaHansen

      Shh. You’re making us all look crazy in front of the casual commenters.

    2. Lokitsu

      The first five comments for every strip are all really Willis.

      1. LiaHansen

        And then one every five after that. He’s very subtle about it.

      2. Deathjavu

        Yesterday I was Willis? Damn, missed my chance.

        I thought I was suddenly infinitely more interested in Transformers…I should’ve tried to art something.

  14. Fran

    Gosh, Dorothy is so damn happy to see Walky! Such a cutie!

    1. isitsevenyet

      Harumph. Walky and Joyce forever!!!

      (Really, I’ll be… okay… with it if he ends up with Dorothy in this universe, but I’m rooting for Joyce until that somehow becomes impossible.)

      1. Aljax

        I’m rooting for Joyce too, but in a different way. I think she’d be much cuter with Dorothy than Walky is.

        1. Mr K

          Walky will end up with Dina right? Joe will end up with Roz, and Sal with Billie.

  15. Wonder Wig

    I wanna imagine that not as Walky knocked her over, but as an anime fall-thing.

    1. GoldStarz

      No it’s totally a nature documentary thing

      (In boring documentary voice) And here we see the wild Billie in it’s native environment, oh what’s this, it seems this Billie has activated its natural defense mechanism of falling helplessly to the floor in response to seeing its natural enemy, the Dorothy.

      1. TPman

        Sounds like myotonic goats
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nxCqAYnLLQ
        and
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6smm1WCFv-8

      2. shparky

        For some reason I heard that in David Attenborough’s voice.

        1. Shadlyn Wolfe

          That is because all documentaries fall into two categories: Those with narration by David Attenborough and those that SHOULD have narration by David Attenborough.

  16. caesaria82

    Walky’s range of facial expressions in this strip is spectacular.

    1. Bilfred

      I prefer “spooktacular”

      1. David Willis

        racists from the 1950s certainly would

        1. Bilfred

          I was referring to the fact that Walky is secretly a ghost, but that works too.

        2. saltchocolate

          ????

        3. Bilfred

          spoooooooooooooookyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…..

        4. I dont know what to put here

          Scary Skeletons…

        5. John

          Halloween was a month ago?

          (Or like five years from now, depending on whether you’re talking real-world or in the comic.)

        6. isitsevenyet

          I can’t decide whether it’s a bad thing or a really really good thing that I have no idea what you’re talking about.

  17. Kladeos

    Sal. </3

  18. Aischylos

    Guys, Dorothy and Danny in the same room (If she notices him, this could inevitably add to the amazi-girl drama). And Sal and Walky. THE TENSION IS RISING

    1. saltchocolate

      “This dorm ain’t big enough for the . . . :::counts::: . . . 5 of us.”

      1. Ourorboros

        @saltchocolate:
        Then the hoped for shipping mashup/orgy won’t fit in anything less than the stadium

        1. saltchocolate

          There happens to be a stadium close by! It’s our lucky day!

        2. Ourorboros

          Will it be carried by the Big 10 Network?

        3. John

          Billie’s gonna end up having to watch from the stands again, isn’t she?

        4. Ourorboros

          At least she introduced everybody to each other.

    2. Yotomoe

      And then Amber walks in just in time for her dad to swing in from a window.
      Behind a door there’s Faz and Dina makin’ out. Behind a curtain there’s Mike, banging your mom.

      1. Bilfred

        He overpayed by 5 cents, too.

        1. TPman

          She was willing to give it up for free, but Mike wanted her to feel cheap.

      2. Mr. Bulbmin

        And Ruth appears out of nowhere, with the femur of a helpless bystander in hand.

  19. taekwondogirl

    It’s hard to feel sorry for Billie when she never seems to learn a lesson.

    1. Ancestral Hamster

      Agreed.

      “Oh, I was a cheerleader in high school. That makes me the MOST IMPORTANT person ever! Grovel before me, worm! Hey, don’t ignore me! You’re supposed to reaffirm my inflated sense of self-worth!”

    2. Ourorboros

      “Break the Cutie” is the favorite trope with Billie.
      Perhaps at some point she will figure it out.

      1. Mr. Bulbmin

        I prefer to think of this as a cast of Butt Monkeys.

      2. John

        But she’s so funny when she breaks!

      3. Keroshino

        That will happen when Danny figures out how to not be an idiot!

        …or in other words “when pigs fly”

    3. timemonkey

      While I do agree it’s only been like a month in their time, realising your entire perspective and lifestyle are incorrect and it’s YOU who are in the wrong and need to change takes time.

      1. taekwondogirl

        That’s true, but no one is giving Danny that same acknowledgement. Also, Billie has had her views and the way she does things challenged a lot more than Danny has.

        1. Kladeos

          Billie’s only a jerk to Walky, someone who she’s known so long they consider themselves like siblings. I think she can be forgiven for that. Being a jerk to him is probably pretty ingrained.

        2. begbert2

          And Danny isn’t a jerk to anybody, which is CRIMINAL.

        3. taekwondogirl

          Billie’s kind of a jerk to anyone nerdy; she thinks she is better than them. She’s actually kind of a jerk to anyone she thinks she is better than, and that’s a lot of people…

        4. Kladeos

          Examples? She was mean to Ruth at first, but that’s fixed itself. She even took Joyce under her wing.

        5. Kladeos

          Okay, I got impatient, and skimmed through the Billie tag. Billie is “mean” the to following:
          – Walky (old childhood friend; she’s also nice to him: tried to set him up with a girl he likes, Dorothy; they still hang out here and there and are generally companionable)
          – Sal (until Sal signed the Roommate Agreement)
          – Sarah (Sarah started it)
          – Ruth

          So honestly, just Ruth, and we all know how that worked out. She was not mean to Dina or Joyce, both of whom stick out a little socially. She wasn’t even mean to Danny.

        6. John

          Billie’s funny! Danny isn’t.

          Also, Billie cares about others, but pretends she doesn’t. Danny doesn’t care about others, but pretends he does.

          Billie will insult and complain about Walky, and then try her best to set him up with the girl he’s interested in, just to get him out of her hair of course. Danny will insult and complain about Joe, and then insult and complain about the girls Joe’s into, only for Joe’s own good of course.

          Billie will pull a fire alarm and kick down a door because she’s worried about the well-being of someone who’s been harassing and bullying her and who she’s gotten in several fistfights with, and then clean her up and get her back on her feet, all the while claiming that she doesn’t really care. Danny will coldly cut a friend out of his life because he’s worried that he might be growing to like her more when she isn’t wearing a mask and then spin it as the only moral thing to do.

          Billie talks a good game about how no one else is cool enough for her, but when they have problems, she’s on it, with her stupid plans and wealth of helpful knowledge pertaining to terrible and horrific things. Danny talks a good game about how he’s honest and loyal and righteous, but when push comes to shove he would rather be able to point at how honest and loyal and righteous he’s being than actually be good to the people around him.

        7. KKoro

          Your version of the comic sounds like danny’s a lot more dramatic than the one on this website.

        8. John

          Yeah? Which of those things didn’t happen?

        9. begbert2

          Honestly I don’t see a SINGLE thing you said about Danny being accurate to his words and actions in the comic. Not a damn thing. The boy is genuinely concerned about others, and while sometimes he doesn’t realize the best approach, he tries to do the best for everyone as well as he’s able. His relationship with Joe is genial, especially considering that Joe would probably be annoying as hell to share a room with at times. Danny didn’t “coldly” cut Amber out; he repeatedly tried to distance himself gently, and then regretfully had to push her away after she’d spent an evening demonstrating to him that there were no lines she wasn’t willing to steamroll over. And the fact that he chooses not to cheat on his girlfriend with the pushy girl from his computer class IS doing what’s good for them. Cheating on people is being BAD to them. Leading people on is being BAD to them. And he regretted being forced to do it. The notion that he’s doing it so that he can swell is head is deranged and delusional.

          Yeah, the Danny you hallucinate is definitely much more dramatic than the one in the comic. And they have almost nothing in common!

        10. John

          Yeah, soooo…..

          Anyone who can manage to not descend into unprovoked flaming over my interpretation of a work of fiction got anything to say?

        11. begbert2

          I find character assassination based on false information provocative. It happens a LOT with Danny too – to the point I feel compelled to correct the factual errors in the smear campaign when I see them.

          But let’s look at your comment if we take out the comparisons between Billie and DemonDanny: “Billie’s funny! Danny isn’t.” That’s all that’s left.

          As that’s just a statement of opinion I’ll let it stand.

        12. taekwondogirl

          I don’t recall Danny bongoing to Joe about the girls he brings home, so much as that it’s invasive. Which the way Joe goes about it, sometimes yeah that’s a valid point. I also haven’t seen him insult any of the women Joe’s come home.

          Just because Danny’s dumb doesn’t mean everything he does is wrong and self-centered. Calm down on the Danny hate. He’s boring, he’s afraid of change and he’s as self-centered as everyone else in the comic. It just shows itself in a different manner.

          Also, every instance you’re talking about Billie caring is very separate from her “I’m better than you” attitude. Yeah, she will do things that are nice for others, but it’s just as full of ulterior motives as whatever Danny does. To pretend that Billie’s actions are better than Danny’s is blind. I will agree that she is much more interesting to see being a jerk than Danny, but part of it is thinking that maaaaaybe this time she won’t think she’s better than someone else.

        13. John

          Well, there’s the whole thing with Roz. Which is, yeah, he’s not insulting her to her face (though a couple strips down the road there he approaches her with the apparent intention of doing so, though we don’t see what actually happens), but he’s definitely hostile towards her. (And to the best of my recollection, the worst thing that happened to Danny over that whole thing was that Dorothy visited his room to interview Joe. Which may have been unfortunate for him, especially in its timing, but which I don’t find blameworthy on anyone’s part.) He does make some fairly insulting implications about Roz and Joe himself, to Joe, immediately after the initial event. (I’d link that too, but spam filter.)

        14. taekwondogirl

          If I recall, I think Danny’s problem was that Roz basically used Joe for political purposes. You guys, Danny really is about as selfish as your standard kid that age, there’s no reason to go twisting everything to show him as selfish.

  20. Bill

    Did you ever have to make up your mind?
    You pick up on one and leave the other one behind?
    It’s not often easy and not often kind;
    Did you ever have to make up your mind?

    1. I dont know what to put here

      Some regret, and some don’t.
      Some forgive, but some won’t.
      One abandoned, all alone.
      Stranded somewhere, with no home.
      …
      Why are we rhyming?

      1. Kiggy

        Was that Loving Spoonful? 🙂

        1. Bill

          Mine was.

  21. Bilfred

    terrified walky is terrified

  22. OmegaDez

    If I was Walky, I’d simply have lunch with the two of them. 🙂

    1. Yotomoe

      “See, Dorothy. Even my childhood friends are hot. There are no ugly women in my life.”

      1. timemonkey

        Not physically anyway.

  23. Regalli

    Ahem. It sucks to be Billie~!

    1. Yotomoe

      Ahem*

      I’m kinda pretty and pretty damn smart
      I like romantic things like music and Art
      And as you know I have a gigantic heart
      so why….DON’T I HAVE A BOYFRIEND
      FUCK!
      It sucks to be me!

      1. Bilfred

        lies spread by the communist nazi jews.

      2. Yotomoe

        Points to anyone who gets this reference. I barely even get this reference.

        1. caesaria82

          Avenue Q. I’d like my points plz, thx.

        2. Yotomoe

          congratz…i think.

        3. Bill

          Great show, btw.  I’ve already watched it on stage twice, and if you ever get the chance to see it yourself do so.  It’s still running off-B’way in NYC, and there have been a couple of touring troupes that give a very good performance as well.

        4. caesaria82

          I love the show a lot, too. I’ve only ever listened to the cast album and never actually seen it performed (I live in a country where it’s never been performed), but I really want to. One day I’m just gonna move to NYC for like a year and watch ALL THE SHOWS. ALL OF THEM xD (life goal lol)

  24. nothri

    Ahhh…Billie getting comeuppance for her elitism. Hurray for nostalgia.

  25. TPman

    Poor Billy. What is that, a triple rejection?

    1. Ourorboros

      Only double. I don’t think there has been a real friendship established between Billie and Dorothy.
      It was Walky who walked through Billie to get to Dorothy.

      1. John

        That makes Dotty the only person in the room who hasn’t rejected Billie.

        Though I guess Sal’s was less a rejection than, “You were tryin’ ta mack on me? Sorry, didn’t notice. Hey, did Ah introduce you to the hot sk8rgrrl who’s been ridin’ my bike?”

        1. Ourorboros

          “The first rule of motcyclin’ is don’t -”
          “-Don’t make it awkward. Right.”
          Billie had made a mild pseudo-lesbian remark.

          Billie also tried to kiss Sal while drunk. Rejected too.

        2. John

          Yeah, that latter was the one that I don’t think was a rejection so much as just complete failure to notice that Billie was goin’ in for the kiss.

    2. TPman

      1. I figure Danny not hoping for a second chance counts as a sort of rejection in Billie’s mind.
      2. Walky initially turns down Billie’s offer.
      3. After accepting, Walky ditches her almost immediately.

      Triple Rejection.

  26. newllend

    You can’t have lunch with Wally she already ate

    1. newllend

      Her, Wally…nobody get on my case about it ok

      1. Bilfred

        I don’t need to. The FBI is already on it.

        1. David Willis

          the fbi also wants you to know his name is walky

        2. isitsevenyet

          Well technically his name is David, if we’re gonna go about correcting it. 😉

      2. newllend

        Mother fucking phone auto correct !

  27. Jack Finch

    Why are they acting like they haven’t seen each other?

    1. David Willis

      jack finch has never been young and in love

      1. Ourorboros

        Ah yes, when time is inverted.
        At that age, time with the one I loved only felt like minutes when it was hours. Did leave walking on air.
        Time apart, minutes apart felt like hours each.
        Age brings sanity at the cost of euphoria.

      2. Ancestral Hamster

        Well, the character Jack Finch has been young and in love … Don’t know about the poster using that alias and avatar.

        1. TPman

          An imposter! I knew it!
          But does what he had with Shauna count as love? Perhaps that is why the young lad is confused.

      3. Jack Finch

        Damn kids. Get off my lawn.

  28. John

    And then they smack skulls and end up faceplanting into Billie’s cleavage.

    1. Ourorboros

      I believe that’s Joyce’s fantasy. Might turn Ethan straight though.

    2. Ancestral Hamster

      For added awkwardness, Walky ends up face-planting in Billie’s crotch.

      1. Mr. Bulbmin

        Nope, not doing it again . . .
        Damnit, now you’ve done it. I have a half dozen clips playing of possible responses to that scene.

        1. Keroshino

          Your mind…I would love to see how it works!!!

      2. John

        I think maximum awkwardness would be if that were Dorothy, and Walky ended up in Billie’s cleavage. Because you know Walky would go, “Motorboat! PBBBPPBBT!”

        And then Billie would STAB EVERYTHING.

  29. Roomba Ron

    I honestly cannot dislike Sal more at the moment, not saying Walky is in my good books lately either but everything Sal does is pissing me off lately

    1. Kladeos

      Sal’s not allowed to glare at people now?

  30. Kernanator

    And that’s how Billie forgot this whole morning ever happened.

  31. Someone

    On my phone. What is the hover text today?

    1. daedalusomega

      “bowling pin strike sound!”

    2. Ancestral Hamster

      “*Bowling pin strike sound*”

      1. Someone

        Thanks.

      2. Ourorboros

        Is there a way to read hover text on tablets and cell phones (Android)?

        1. Jenny Creed

          Apparently, that cutting edge mid-1990s HTML technology is beyond the capacity of current generation of smartphones to handle.

          I totally heard the bowling pin sound in my head by the way.

        2. turbanous

          Well it is kinda hard to hover over an image when you don’t have a cursor, even more so when your touchscreen device interprets every all contact as a “click”.
          However you can always use your search engine of choice for a bookmarklet to display image alt text. That’s what I did so I could read alt text on my phone. We have the technology.

        3. Keroshino

          Download the comic chameleon app!
          That’s what I use to read the alt-text.

        4. Bill

          The Comic Chameleon app is currently only available for iPhone.  They say that their developers are working on an Android version.  They had better get with it; something like 50% of all smartphones out there currently use Android OS, and Q3 of 2013 81% — that’s four out of five! — of all smartphones shipped had Android.

        5. Bill

          Fixed the link.

        6. OldFart

          You can long-press to get hovertext (at least with Firefox) on Android, but the longer ones get cut off after 52 characters on my phone. Today’s works fine, but Willis is often more verbose.

  32. I dont know what to put here

    Walky is really pushy.

  33. Jimmy

    That look of Sal’s… *shudder*

  34. The kid

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWF17fTR8Ks

  35. Jack Finch

    OK. I’ve got a soundtrack for Sal and Walky now. Main theme for The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. (I know what you’re thinking…who’s the ugly? Nobody. But looking at panel 2, you just know it ain’t gonna be pretty).

  36. Aaron Bourque

    Wow, Billie and Ruth are just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO interesting to watch.
    …

  37. StClair

    “Oh, thank GOD!”

  38. Alexis

    Oh no.

    A person who acknowledges Walky’s existence.

    Billie’s kryptonite.

    1. John

      A person who acknowledges Walky’s existence, whom Billie (thinks she) actually set him up with.

      Methinks Billie protesteth too much.

  39. man in black

    Great page

  40. Rani

    Oh just turn them all into Tang already.

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