286

Orders
Posted on December 1, 2014 by David M Willis
2014-11-patreonpreviewIt was the end of the month, which means that the Dumbing of Age Patreon folks got their monthly bonus comic!  This month they voted for Conquest, so they got Conquest (with a side of Galasso and some Raidah-and-pals cameos).  Voting for December's bonus comic should go up in the next day or so.  Dina has yet to win one of these!  That's supremely odd. This coming weekend (December 6-7), I'll be off to Austin, Texas, for another wonderful Webcomic Rampage at Dragon's Lair Comics & Fantasy.  All your favorite webcomic folks will be there, like my convention wife Joel Watson and my convention mistress Randy Milholland and my convention big sister Spike Troutman and my convention twin sister separated from birth Danielle Corsetto.  Does that make David McGuire my convention weirdo cousin?  I dunno, I'm running out of meaningful convention family parallels. By the time I get back on Monday, you'll have been granted access to a new Slipshine.  Also, don't forget, today's Cyber Monday, so pick up some Dumbing of Age books while you're online shopping!

286 thoughts on “Orders”

  1. Jen Aside

    POOP

    1. sps48

      Bleh

      1. Pier

        POOP BLEH The sound of my heart…

        1. poofdepoof

          +1

    2. Jen Aside

      okay to be fair it could be #1

      and

      DAMMIT KISS ALREADY YOU DORKS

      1. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

        But think of what will happen to amber if she comes out of the bathroom and sees them smooching

        1. -Sentinel-

          She’ll be turned on?

        2. newllend

          Well in raged then turned on, but no not just yet when and if that happens I want both Joyce and Amber to see it at the same time.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          It will result in the most epic of hatewanks… err hatespelunking?

        4. newllend

          Don’t you mean hatepucking?

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Yeah that too. 😀

        6. That Damn Rat

          I suspect she’d have a blackout and Ethan wouldn’t be pretty anymore afterwards

        7. Disloyal Subject

          But which should dress as Steve Rogers, and which as Tony Stark, for an optimum turn-on?

        8. Ed Rhodes

          I feel I can safely say if one of them is going to dress as Tony Stark, the other has to dress as Bruce Banner!

          SCIENCE BROS!

        9. Jerden

          Ethan looks more of a Bruce Banner to me, so I guess that makes Danny Tony Stark.

        10. Wonder Wig

          It’ll be, Wallace! Again!?

        11. Vangeln

          She’s gonna flip the table and some shit.

      2. timemonkey

        No! This must be done properly! Break up first, boy smooches later.

  2. Opus the Poet

    Yeah, there is a hair across your FAAAACE

    1. Dreadhawk177

      If Ethan doesn’t back off, Danny will have to use the MAAAAAAACCCEE

      1. Opus the Poet

        But Danny has sexual fantasies (disturbing sexual fantasies but still…) about Ethan, so it’s not like the attention is unwelcome.

        1. Dreadhawk177

          I still think he wants some SPAAAACCCEE

        2. Jacob Newburn

          S-Space?! SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPACE! WANNA GO TO SPACE! “Son, I’m proud of you!” “D-Dad? Are you space?” “Yes son! Now we can be together again!”. W-wanna go to space! See space too fast! Get pulled over by space cops! S-space courts! S-Space Jail!

        3. Leo Atrox

          if only there was a like button!

        4. TheSuicidalGiraffe

          Well timed and well executed

        5. la6uɐ mous

          OK, who let the space core in here?

        6. Jacob Newburn

          What’s your favorite thing about space?! mine is space.

      2. Roborat

        But Danny is wearing a hoodie, I thought that was a LAAAACCEE.
        .
        .
        .

        I know, that was terrible. It was the best I could do.

        1. Kryss LaBryn

          I hope things don’t heat up too fast; Danny would probably be more comfortable with a slower PAAAACCEE.

        2. Sparks

          So what you’re saying is he needs some SPAAAAACE?

  3. MrSirk

    You should be hoping for more than that Amber.

  4. Dean

    Whatever drinks they order, Conquest will bring them a milkshake with two straws. Conquest knows the score.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Her gaydar is finely tuned.

      1. Doctor_Who

        Galasso trained her in it’s use. Like Dr. Insano, Galasso knows the importance of gaydar in a world domination scheme.

        I mean, imagine how much shorter most Bond movies would be if the villain sends a slinky seductress after him, and he just says “Sorry, I’m gay”. You need to know in advance if you should send a dude.

        1. Kelly

          He can’t even tell male from female (well, I guess we don’t know that canonically for this universe, but…), so how could he tell if someone was gay?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          As you know, homosexuals emit gaydiation which can be detected by modern technology. 😛

        3. Usayasha

          Gaydars, Gayger Counters, Homometers… modern technology is primed and ready to detect and harness the powers of gaydiation.

          But the invisible stuff, like asexuals, bisexuals, pansexuals… how do you harness something you can’t even see? They are the next frontier for sexualitechnology. If we can learn to see them, we might be able to power entire countries.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Asexuals hold the secrets to that dark matter scientists keep banging on about.

        5. StClair

          ha HA, “banging.”

        6. chisci

          I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS THREAD

        7. nothri

          Obviously the best way to detect bisexuality is to measure the half-life of the individual.

        8. Cynthia

          >bisexuality
          two things

          >half-life
          a series of consecutive events

          HALF-LIFE 3 CONFIRMED

        9. timemonkey

          He can’t tell himself but he knows gayness exists!

      2. -Sentinel-

        Your avatar is cute.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Danke!

        2. OnyxIdol

          Wait, You’re german? Or just tossing some of that around?

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          Saying thanks in a foreign language is my way of being fancy. ^_^

        4. OnyxIdol

          Ach so ist das 😉

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Ya!

      3. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

        where is your avatar from?

        1. Disloyal Subject

          Clementine, from Frivolesque.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Today’s gravatar is Clementine from the webcomic I discovered a couple of weeks ago called Frivolesque, it’s very cute with offbeat humour. ^_^ It gets updated every Monday.

        3. MrSirk

          I’ve read and agree! Thanks for the link Plasma! *_*

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          You’re welcome, Dez makes a pretty good webcomic and it needs more love.

        5. tinfoil theory

          Not only is Clementine cute, it’s my favourite music application.
          http://www.clementine-player.org/
          I wonder what got named after who.

        6. OmegaDez

          Never heard of the app. 🙂 I just named her Clementine because of her orange color scheme. Thought it sounded cute. (and slightly clunky as a name, but she wasn’t supposed to become an important chracter at the time)

        7. Plasma Mongoose

          The name flows well enough for there to be a classic old time song called ‘Oh My Darling Clementine‘.

        8. Opus the Poet

          The definitive version for Boomers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D89GXGKD2I8

        9. Deanatay

          Cute! She’s like a bishie Velma!

          (Which, in my pantheon, is VERY hot.)

        10. OmegaDez

          … “bishie” ?

        11. Plasma Mongoose

          The word you want is bishoujo which translayes as “beautiful young girl”.

    2. Yotomoe

      Would you say her milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard?

      1. liahansen

        And they’re like *makes out with each other*

      2. Plasma Mongoose

        More like her milkshakes makes all the boys quite hard(for each other).

        1. Deanatay

          Her milkshake does bring all the boys to the yard, but then they start making out which each other, and ignore her.

          Her milkshake is flavored with tears.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Needs some taffy to deal with all that salt. 😛

    3. newllend

      Amber:My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard…what do you mean its not for me?

    4. TheZachariah

      Her milkshake does bring all the boys to the yard

  5. Yotomoe

    Yeah Danny, what the fuck? How did you even do that? Or Is that Amber’s hair?

  6. Mkvenner

    poor amber.

    1. MrSirk

      Danny’s all about the loyalty. I’m sure he won’t jump on the Ethan train just because he can.

      1. Jerden

        If you know what I mean…

  7. Plasma Mongoose

    Careful what you wish for Amber… 😀

    1. Taigan

      My thoughts exactly.

    2. newllend

      If she plays her cards right things could work out well for her.

      1. Deanatay

        Love triangles are best when they’re equilateral.

        And bi.

        BIDIRECTIONAL! I meant BIDIRECTIONAL!!

        (Oh, dear God, the word ‘erection’ is in there…)

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Nothing quite like discovering a hidden double entendre is there? 🙂

    3. Arkadi

      Curses! The Plasma Mongoose beat me to it >:(

  8. Mr. Random

    “Dina has yet to win one of these! That’s supremely odd.”
    Translation: Make Dina win. Make her win. Pleeeeeease.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I can only guess that everyone believed that Dina was going to win anyway so they voted for someone else instead.

      1. Doctor_Who

        My only guess is that Dina gets so many votes that her count winds up reset to zero from integer overflow.

        1. MrSirk

          I can only guess it was gonna be Dina riding a velociraptor and the poll exploded.

      2. winter

        But we see a lot of Dina in the regular storyline compared to Conquest et al., so it makes sense to vote for the people we don’t get to see regularly.

        By which I mean vote for Asma, please.

  9. Khaner

    There is too much cute in this comic.
    Somebody is going to be hit by a truck.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Walky really needs to stop throwing his toys about, I don’t believe there are Optimus Prime plushies after all.

      1. Doctor_Who

        It’s the alternate universe where Walky is a TF fan and falls for Ruth.

        “I give it to you!”

  10. liahansen

    OH COME ON

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Is that a suggestion? 😛

  11. Van Jealous

    Could the last panel imply that Amber’s love life is about to turn to…..?

  12. T Campbell

    Oh, dear. Oh, my. Oh, dearie my.

    When this started, Ethan and Danny had the excuse that it looked like Danny and Amber were finished as a couple– at least Danny thought so, and not without some justification. Now they don’t have that. They can tell themselves otherwise all they like, and it could be argued that they really can’t help themselves, but this is not what good friends or good boyfriends do.

    1. winter

      I’m pretty sure they don’t know what they’re doing, and that it could be taken in a romantic way.

      …okay, that’s BS. But I’m pretty sure they think the other is straight and therefore that the other wouldn’t take what they’re doing in a romantic way.

      1. liahansen

        I’m not convinced Ethan really believes Danny’s straight, but yeah, Danny’s still in complete denial. That said, I can sympathize with Ethan. He’s been repressing his sexuality so hard for so long, he’s gotta let it out somehow, even in seemingly little ways that he can make believe are innocuous and unnoticed. I bet though that if Danny ever responds positively to his little advances, Ethan will be the one to break it off. He wouldn’t do that to Amber, right?

        1. winter

          Yeah, it’s hard to judge who might suspect what about who here. They’re both unsure about one another, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they had an inkling that the other wasn’t responding to them as a straight man probably would.

          But they’re really just flirting here, which is pretty harmless in of itself. I agree that Ethan, and probably Danny too, would both cut it out out of concern for Amber if it escalated.

        2. MrSirk

          That’s the question. What happens if this escalates? Ethan went right back in that closet yet he flirts accidentally or otherwise with the cute guys. Not only is that majorly hypocritical, but it’s unfair to Amber, Joyce, and even Danny! If this evolves there could be pain for everyone involved as I seriously doubt this will end in a sexy orgy.

        3. Itama

          my question is would she care if they broke it off? amber is in a really unstable place surrounding the situation with ethen. if she thought her boyfriend might be even a LITTLE BIT gay for him, i’m not sure that she wouldn’t just fly right into full stop batman style rage/angst and do something she seriously regrets. i could easily see her topping billy and ruth in the self destruction department, if she tried.

        4. Leorale

          Amber doesn’t self-destruct. Her destruction goes outwards.

        5. Itama

          oh, certainly.
          i’m just worried that she’ll try to destroy the wrong thing, and end up being taken down with it.

        6. chris73

          Like his behavior with Jocelyne?

        7. winter

          No comprendo.

          By which I mean, pretty much exactly like his behavior with Jocelyne. Ethan was a bit overenthusiastic with her, but he didn’t do anything that could even remotely be construed as cheating, or anything clearly indicative of intent to cheat iirc. (And even if he had, I think he’d be more reluctant to do something that would hurt Amber, vs Joyce). So was that your point, or…?

        8. Leorale

          I read Chris’s point as, Ethan is flirting heavily with people that he thinks are attractive men, impulsively and without quite realizing what he’s doing. He just doesn’t fit in the closet.

        9. chris73

          Well mostly except he knows exactly what hes doing which makes it all the worse

        10. Kelly

          I don’t believe he does know what he is doing, in this case anyway. And maybe not when he first met Jocelyne (obviously he did when they met at the fountain)

        11. timemonkey

          When you’re repressed it’s entirely possible to flirt super hard without realising it.

        12. chris73

          It seemed pretty clear his intention was carnal and he didn’t seem to care about (or even remember) he had a girlfriend

        13. winter

          I don’t know. Flirting might be carnal intent, but I don’t think it’s an indication that one would nessesarily go through with the carnal intentions at the end of the day, and to me that makes a big difference.

          I get that not everybody agrees with me on that, tho. And it probably doesn’t make that big a difference to Amber, so maybe my focus is off.

  13. JessWitt

    Danny with sclerae and blushing is the cutest.

    1. liahansen

      I only know what sclerae are through the context clues of your sentence, and without them, they sound like some horrible skin condition, which makes the sentence funny in an odd way to me.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I only learn what sclerae thanks to the ‘boorus which sometimes include black_sclerae for the characters with black eyeballs.

  14. Atropos

    Adorable levels rising…

    1. Leorale

      I know, right? I love this so much. <3

  15. Yotomoe

    Is amber hovering at a weird angle or are her thighs just THAT thick?

    1. liahansen

      I think she’s lifting one buttock off the toilet seat, so as to make as little indirect stranger butt-to-butt contact as possible without straining her legs.

    2. newllend

      obviously the second one, she can give Chun-li a run for her money

      1. Yotomoe

        She does her Amazi-squats.

        1. newllend

          Amazi-squats require you to do squats on the edge of a building, if you do not do every one of them perfectly your ass will fall.

        2. Yotomoe

          Of course if you have successfully done enough Amazi-squats you will land on the ground legs first completely unharmed and crush the pavement beneath you with your Hulk strength leg muscles.

        3. MrSirk

          It also lets you skate down hand rails, teleport through trees, and jump of buildings onto moving trucks while giving the double bird!

          Amazi-Squats=Two fingers bongo!

  16. arank11

    Ohhhhhh noooooo. Willis, why do you hate Amber so much? First the abusive dad, then the thing with Ethan on prom night, and now her current boyfriend is about to Licky-style her ex-boyfriend and why the frickin-frick can’t things ever go right for her?!?!
    On the upside: YAAAAAAY DANTHAAAAAN!!! (What? You’ve never seen a hypocrite before?)

    1. la6uɐ mous

      Ethanny?

  17. Yotomoe

    I can understand your concern Amber. I hate both of them.

    1. newllend

      With a passion that’s like no other.

      1. zach

        Passion certanly is a word for it.

  18. caesaria82

    SO CUTE!! BUT I AM SO CONFLICTED. BECAUSE AMBER. BB. I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M YELLING. SORRY. I CAN’T STOP. JUST. SO CUTE!!!

  19. CookieCrumbler

    Danny’s infatuation with Ethan is the best thing to watch

    1. Leorale

      I agree. Bi Danny moments = Best Danny moments.

  20. Kernanator

    Yeah, they’re getting along perfectly.

    Also, panel 5 Danny is the most adorable Danny that has ever existed.

    1. neeks

      Yeah, he’s all “sempai is noticing me!”

  21. caramelundqueer

    Well…yeah…this is only a matter of time isn’t it? I don’t think Danny INTENDS to cheat on Amber but I think he definitely will if he doesn’t put some space between himself and Ethan before it’s too late. But then he’d have to actually admit to himself he wants to fuck the shit out of Ethan. I don’t think he’ll be in denial about that for much longer. I think he has until the end of this lunch to accept that.

    1. F

      I think the powers of repression will be enough to ensure he resists for now, when he eventually cheats on amber it will be because he wants to make sure he’s gay first rather than lose her for the sake of experimentation.

  22. winter

    I kind of love Danny and Ethan together too much. I’ve been dying of anticipation since August, and it’s detracting from my appreciation of some of the other storylines.

    MORE OF THESE TWO PLZ! MORE, MORE, UNTIL I’M COMPLETELY BORED WITH THEM AND SICK OF THEIR FACES!

    1. Leorale

      YES THIS

      1. tinfoil theory

        They seem to have taken quite the shine on each other. Would you mind if, by accident, they slip?

        1. pyrophobia

          Icwutudidthur

  23. newllend

    This going to go real fast from “hope they’re getting along” to “Ethan I’m going to kill you !”

  24. Jacob Newburn

    Do I smell kinky threeway Slipshine comic? No… Wait… It’s just poop…

    1. Deanatay

      I could totally see a Danny/Ethan Shipshine that turns out to be Just A Dream…

      1. John

        If Danny’s dreams about his repressed sexuality are anything like Joyce’s… I don’t think anyone would pay to fap to it.

        Actually, what am I saying? This is the Internet. People totally would.

        And, man, Ethan is like some kind of sexuality repression vortex that sucks in the people around him, isn’t he?

  25. sun tzu

    OK, Ethan.
    Breaking Amber’s heart on prom night? Terrible, but not your fault.
    Her spending all of summer break helping you deal with your horrible family, who clearly aren’t any nicer to her than to you? That doesn’t reflect badly on you so much as it reflects well on her. She’s a good friend.
    You deciding to pretend to be straight so you could date a girl who’d never done anything to hurt you? That, in fact, reflects pretty awfully on you.
    But now, after you broke Amber’s heart, after she went through thick and thin for you, after you spat on all her effort by dating a girl anyway… you’re flirting with her boyfriend.
    Much like you were flirting with Joyce’s sibling earlier.
    Jesus Christ.
    Between this universe’s version of Ethan, Mike, and Blaine, did Amber have ANY non-horrid person in her life growing up? Does her mom deal meth on the side?

    1. chris73

      Ethan is a selfish prick, theres no way around. He barely has any positive qualities and he really only thinks of himself

      But hes attractive and gay so his behavior can be excused

      1. tinfoil theory

        Ethan does care about other people, especially Amber. He is not hurting her repeatedly on purpose. He’s not so much a selfish prick as an oblivious prick who doesn’t quite know what he’s doing. I think we’ve all been there.

        1. pyrophobia

          Second vote for oblivious prick.
          Still means he’s a prick tho’

        2. F

          Totally, hes not cruel he’s just negligent and oblivious to the feelings of someone he ‘cares’ about and the consequences of his actions.

          I believe the term is teenage douchebag.

    2. newllend

      He means well it just he’s a…Immature prick who tries to fix other people’s problems when he can’t even fix his own without making them worse

    3. winter

      I agree that Ethan running back into the closet after Amber stood up for him over the summer was a dick move.

      But, Christ, it’s just a bit of flirting. It’s not like he’s propositioning Danny here.

      1. Itama

        yeah, but he cant be sure whether danny might start reciprocating. what do you think happens to amber if she even THINKS that she’s had another gay boyfriend? she’s not exactly in a stable state right now, and ethen is risking pushing her down a REALLY slippery slope of self destruction.

        1. Leorale

          Is losing a boyfriend because he’s gay (or, in this case, bi) actually worse than losing a boyfriend for any other reason? I’m pretty sure there isn’t a fun reason to lose a boyfriend.

        2. Itama

          true, but in this case i think it would be especially bad because of the fact that this has happened before to her. the whole ethen breakup/return to closet thing is a large part of why she she GOES AROUND AT NIGHT BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE (bolded for emphasis.) that should speak volumes about how much it effects her mental state, and she’s only starting to trust him again. now what happens if he manages, all in one stroke, to cause a repetition of that event, shatter her trust in him (probably permanently) AND shatters her trust in danny, who is largely why she’s getting better.

          if this ship happens, i see a total mental breakdown in her future.

        3. winter

          Nobody can be sure if somebody is going to reciprocate/escalate the flirtations into something more, but I am of the mind that the test of someone’s character comes after the reciprocation/escalation, and not before. I know that several people here disagree with me on this, but what can do?

          It’s reasonable to say that Amber will be upset if she even THINKS Danny is gay. But since Danny is bi, that’s a bridge that’s going to be crossed whether or not Ethan does what he does. And if Danny was straight, the bridge would not have to be crossed, regardless of what Ethan does. Amber’s next to that slippery slope regardless of Ethan, so I don’t think it makes sense to blame him for the crime of possibly making Amber THINK Danny is gay.

          Obviously, actually going further with Danny would be another issue entirely.

        4. Itama

          of course it would make sense to blame him for that. saying “amber is already unstable, so its fine” is some completely crazy logic. he KNOWS amber is in a dangerous mental space, he KNOWS he’s a large part if the reason she’s there in the first place, and he KNOWS that this her new boyfriend is probably the only thing keeping her stable. regardless of whether danny needs to come out sooner or later, ethen really owes it to amber to keep his freaking distance.

          i’m not sure what you mean when you say that a “test of character” should come after they flirt. it would be much safer for him to just not flirt with danny to begin with.

        5. winter

          My point was not “amber is already unstable, so its fine”, it was “it would be fine if amber wasn’t unstable, and it’s not Ethan’s fault that she is”

          Amber’s a ticking time bomb, and it would be a lot nicer and a lot less stupid if people gave her a little space, but I can’t blame people for not having the delicacy to tiptoe around her.

          But I’m glad people have more sympathy for Amber here than I do. The Ambers of the world need it.

        6. Loki1001

          If her boyfriend is the only thing keeping her stable, that’s a profoundly dysfunctional relationship that is intensely harmful to both parties.

        7. Jerden

          If it’s keeping you stable, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship is dysfunctional, more that everything else is dysfunctional.

        8. Loki1001

          Yeah, it really does. It means that it has become a co-dependent relationship. It’s not a relationship between partners, but a relationship between an addict and an enabler. That’s honestly what Amber and Ethan’s relationship was, until Amber pulled away, and it is shaping up to be what Amber and Danny’s relationship is.

        9. Jerden

          You can’t expect perfection in relationships.

        10. Spring

          It kinda is his fault she is though. His diving back into the closet is a HUGE aspect of her current issues.

          Hypo: If Amber were to see him sexually brushing hair out if Danny’s face, and break up with him, would Ethan be to blame at all in your mind?

        11. winter

          Is it his fault? Diving back into the closet was a stupid and insensitive thing to do, but Amber’s reaction to it was way disproportionate. And I can’t blame Amber either: she’s a kind person who’s been through too much, without people around to support her like she needs.

          But I’ve been an Amber, and what I learned is that it’s not reasonable to expect other people to know how to react to your unpleasant circumstances, or to know what’s going to set you off, when you’re so angry it seems like anything could. What Ethan’s doing is stupid here but, so far, it doesn’t fall far out of normal acceptable behavior around friend’s bf. And while Ethan should probably know better, since he knows what Amber’s going through, from my experience it’s not reasonable for to expect him to be able to watch himself all the time around her, when he’s doing something that would usually be innocuous.

          re:hypo: It depends on what you mean by blame? Amber breaking up with Danny in such a circumstance would be an overreaction imo, but completely understandable given her past. Ethan would certainly be a large cause of the break-up (to blame, if you like) but it wouldn’t retroactively make his actions here horrible or less appropriate or anything. Sometimes bad things happen and it’s not really anybody’s fault.

          Except it is somebody’s fault. Somebody put these characters in this shitty situation. Damn you Willis!

      2. ninja_jesus

        He could’ve started flirting with any other guy. ANY other guy. He instead chose to flirt with Amber’s current boyfriend.

        I get it, he’s trying to very slowly explore his own sexuality in a way that doesn’t change people’s perception of him into “that gay guy”. He equates being gay, and identifying as gay, to being different in a way that ostracizes him from everyone else. So, with beard in place, he explores his sexuality in secret.

        But don’t choose the one guy your best friend is dating and is feeling stable with. That is way more than a dick move.

        1. winter

          I probably should have stuck to the silly comments~

          Suffice to say, I don’t think that the flirting is nessesarily intentional here, and I don’t think that flirting is bad so long as involved parties know clearly not to take it further when other people’s feelings are involved. I don’t think this is dick move level yet, but I guess some people disagree.

        2. ninja_jesus

          Sorry. I just see how badly this can go and I react to the potential drama that can be created here. That, and face-touching is pretty intimate thing to do with someone. >_> I wouldn’t let anyone touch my face like that unless I really knew that person for more than a few months.

        3. winter

          I feel you. There is so much potential drama here and this situation can go way badly! And it doesn’t help that Ethan and Danny are both being profoundly stupid and thoughtless here. It’s just… I see a lot of people here acting like what Ethan is doing here is way more malicious than it is.

          I’d say Joyce and Ethan are probably the most physically affectionate of the cast. With, maybe, Danny, Dorothy, and Amber following as far seconds.

    4. WingedBeast

      I don’t think Ethan is so much horrible as he is… well… dude, be out, gay and unashamed and you’ll be able to work through this a lot better!

      As for Amber… would it be too selfish of me to say I’ll help pick up the pretty, woobie pieces?

      No, guys are not immune to the woobie.

    5. Loki1001

      Oy vey. Amber pulled away from Ethan. The comic has repeatedly said and shown that both Amber and Ethan were incredibly co-dependent. Amber spun off in her own, strange, direction, leaving Ethan adrift. Joyce happened to be the first (only, except for Mike) person to find him in that state and immediately projected her own desires upon him. Naturally he remodeled himself to be what she wanted. He’s not merely pretending to be straight, he’s also a Jewish person who is attending Christian church. When did Joyce ever stop to work through Ethan’s issues on his terms, rather than hers?

      And secondly, how exactly self-aware is Ethan’s flirtation? Danny is the one who actually seems aware that it is flirtation. Ethan might be aware of the attraction but not aware of the flirtation. It’s clearly not seduction, he probably thinks he’s just being friendly towards someone he is mildly attracted to (and fighting that attraction tooth and nail).

    6. timemonkey

      Ethan only decided to go crawling back into the closet because he’d faced near universal rejection and Amber decided she needed some space before he’d made any new friends so he ended up facing that rejection alone and caved under the lonliness. It’s not a good move but it’s understandable, and Amber has no real right to judge since she’s the one who decided to abandon him.

      And sometimes you can’t help and don’t notice when you’re flirting, especially when you’re repressed.

  26. Tess

    Every time this storyline comes back up I am torn between my shipping Danny and Ethan and the fact that Amber would have one boyfriend leave her for being gay and another boyfriend leave her FOR HER exboyfriend because he is also gay (technically bi).
    Major life angst. Poor Amber.

  27. foolicus maximus

    clearly what’s going to happen is a three-way.
    Right?
    Thing will turn out okay in the end, right?

    1. Em

      That would make a glorious slipshine, you have to admit. But I dunno if he’d use Danny and Amber again, since he’s already done one with them.

  28. Archivist

    …Poly?

    1. takashid

      we can only hope

    2. timemonkey

      The odds are poor. Even if they tried it’d just end in disaster.

  29. PSadlon

    Too well, Amber. Too well.

  30. begbert2

    Okay, seriously, personal space! I would *never* uninvited touch the hair or face of a person I was only barely acquainted with. Or had merely known for twenty or thirty years, or possibly since my birth. That’s dating levels of contact there, minimum!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I know it would bug me if someone tried that with my face.

    2. JWLM

      And your point is? I mean, what *exactly* would you call a trip to a comics store together for these two?

      1. begbert2

        I would call it “hanging out”. If merely walking into a building in the company of another person equaled dating them then all football teams would be giant recurring gay orgies.

    3. winter

      I wouldn’t either. But, I have to admit, I like people/friends who are more touchy-feely huggy face-touchy than me, so I would accept this behavior from others, even if I would never do it.

      *shrugs* Everybody’s different.

    4. timemonkey

      Danny seems the type who likes to be touched.

      1. pyrophobia

        “- by both sexes”
        I fixed it for you! 😀

  31. Rabid Rabbit

    Not quite the same cast, but she may get her wish after all. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/burn/

  32. stuffandthings

    So much cute! I have all the feels! Also, I don’t think this necessarily has to end with all the heartbreak. It’s quite possible that she’s not super in love with Danny (especially not as in love with him as she was Ethan given her and Ethan’s history). I mean, their whole relationship has the whole Amazi-girl dynamic to it so it seems like their relationship is somewhat loose from the get-go.

    Danny and Ethan seem way more into each other, so Amber could be okay to be single for a time while she sorts her stuff out and she’d be happy that her best friend’s finally happy.

    As for Joyce, well she could already be on the road to realizing her boyfriend could never love her the way she wants him to and that maybe reinforcing his insecurities about his sexuality is actually quite harmful and not okay.

    Alternatively, this could end with many tears and table-flipping who knows.

  33. Katie

    Am I the only one still rooting for polyamory here?!

    1. winter

      No.

    2. Leorale

      I think several people are!
      IMO Danny is too fundamentally monogamous to be into it, but other folks think otherwise.

      1. tinfoil theory

        I would say Danny is absolutely oblivious to the possibility that there might be alternatives to monogamy, if he weren’t rooming with Joe. I’ll say he’s oblivious to the possiblity of there being something between the extremes of being monogamous and being Joe.

        1. la6uɐ mous

          More specifically, the only form of polyamory he knows is no consensual polyamory, AKA serial monogamy.

        2. begbert2

          I’m pretty sure Joe is all in favor of threesomes, foursomes, and cheerleedingsquadsomes, so long as he’s the only male involved.

        3. John

          I don’t know as I would put money on that last bit.

        4. Em

          I think Joe just likes orgasms, and it totes fine with whoever is willing. At least in a threesome, foursome, or orgy. I think one on one he probably prefers ladies, but I really don’t know.

    3. ninja_jesus

      That would be the ideal, wouldn’t it?

    4. Kelly

      That solution worked well when Robert Jordan used it. Could work for Willis too. It can be a nice change of pace from the usual love triangle deal.

      But yeah, I don’t see Danny having the nature for it.

    5. timemonkey

      I’m rooting against it. For this group at least. It’d be out of character and end badly if they tried.

      I mean come on, Ethan’s still coming to terms with his sexuality and dealling with all the rejection that came with it, Amber’s so broken she’s practically two [people in the same body, neither of which is stable, and Danny is still completely oblivious to almost all of that while dealing with his own super monogamy and inferior complexes.

      Polyamory requires a certain level of confidence and maturity that almost nobody in the comic possesses. Especially not these three.

    6. begbert2

      It wouldn’t really be polyamory because Ethan’s not interested in Amber. All it would be is Daniel being in two open relationships simultaneously.

      1. John

        Ethan doesn’t want to bang Amber. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t love her or can’t be in a relationship with her. He has and has been in every universe that we know of. Love and sex and relationships aren’t necessarily inextricably linked.

        If Ethan can be in a relationship where he can love Amber and not have to bang her, just give her a high-five over their Danny sandwich, I think he might go for it.

        Danny’s relentless monogamy and discomfort with his attraction to Ethan are the main obstacles here.

    7. Suitora

      Well, Amber is pretty heavily into slash… I could see it happening.

  34. Itama

    oh, pleas don’t let this ship actually sail…
    ambers drama levels are so high right now, having ethen steal her boyfriend (even if he doesn’t mean to) could make her do some SERIOUSLY self destructive shit.

    1. Em

      That’s why I really dislike the Ethan/Danny ship. I need there to be a good outcome for Amber. (my good outcome looks like Ethan and Danny hook up, so Amber and Mike have some delightful hatefucking and end up falling in loooooove. but i dunno if willis will do any relationships that he’s already done before)

  35. ShaggyDonahugh

    NOW KISS!
    What? Amazigirl? No, these are just dolls of Ethan and Danny I made because OMG THEY ARE TOO CUTE!
    The real Danny and Ethan are making out in my closet as we speak.

  36. zmm

    haha. so.. i wonder which way this’ll shape up to

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      Amber begins dating her alter ego, which turns into a spiraling staircase of pain for evil-doers everywhere.
      Danny and Ethan continue to be adorable, and my god isn’t this ship just so perfect!?!?!?

  37. metaceryn

    Raise your hand if you thought “Amber is in a better place” = “Amber died off-screen somewhere.”

  38. Jade

    Willis, you damn tease.

    Thank you

  39. Danielle

    All I want for Christmas is a Amber/Danny/Ethan poly triad.

  40. CarlaGriffin

    OT3!

  41. Miles

    While the rest of the comments seem to be splarging over the fanfic bate or whatever the only thing I can think of is just when Danny almost stopped Dannying up everything and Amber was just getting out of her emotional state of depression and whatnot and now was happy wither her life…. Danny is slowly turning Gay and is going to leave her for her EX and she’s going to be broken all over again.
    Ruth is Not Poison, Billie is Not Poison… Danny is poison… the slow acting kind that you think was just a cold but then after a week you think its gone and then a month later it kills you.

    1. Marisa Mockery

      Pretty sure by that logic Amber is too. And most of the cast. They’re all messed up in some way or other and that affects how they influence each other.

    2. takashid

      Danny is bisexual. A person cannot be “turned” gay. He was always bisexual he just didn’t know it. Nor has he done anything wrong to Amber yet. *shrugs*

      1. Kelly

        Thank you

      2. apostateCourier

        The Best. Thanks for stepping up for us bi people.

      3. JWLM

        Thank you.

  42. Aolbain

    Goddamnit Ethan

  43. Boomwolf

    Could this get any more awkward?!

    1. begbert2

      And then they suddenly realize that neither of them is wearing pants.

    2. Em

      If she walked in as Ethan was brushing the hair out of her boyfriend’s face, while said boyfriend is blushing hardcore.

      Yeah that’d be pretty awkward.

  44. Spliced

    Oh dang. Man if this was happening to me I would be all kinds of ON FIRE right now.

  45. Orangey

    Hahahaha and of course these two sit next to each other, instead of Danny sitting opposite and next to Amber. Oh Danny. OH DANNY. Why do I love Danny so much, this is the opposite of how I used to feel about him

  46. Bill

    What was Willis thinking of when he gave her the name “Conquest”?

    1. David M Willis

      “what would Galasso name a daughter”

      1. Nono

        Conquesta?

      2. Bill

        ‘Nuff said.  I didn’t realize this was supposed to be Galasso’s daughter.
        But this does, of course, beg the question of who is Galasso’s wife……
        because it’s obvious that Conquest got her looks from her mother’s side of the family.

        1. Kelly

          Oh, weird. For some reason I thought you also read Shortpacked! Anyway, I don’t think it is too much of a breach of protocol to say that Galasso’s wife is probably named Pamela.

        2. Bill

          No, I have not read Shortpacked! or Roomies or It’s Walky or any of the other Willis projects other than the odd strip someone links to from here at DoA because when I stumbled across DoA it was billed as a stand-alone and knowledge of the characters as they appeared in the other comics was not supposed to be needed or necessary.

        3. timemonkey

          Knowledge of the other comics aren’t necessary but they do explain some strange things, as well as reveal many in-jokes.

        4. Roborat

          Plus there is the fact that they are pretty awesome comics.

        5. podian

          Well, It’s Walky!, Shortpacked! and Joyce&Walky! are pretty awesome.
          Roomies!, on the other hand, serves only as a prologue to It’s Walky!…

        6. Leorale

          If you want to read more about Galasso and family, you can find them in Shortpacked, where they are funny and interesting. However, you’re correct that doing so is totally optional, and you are also welcome to just enjoy DoA as a stand-alone without the alternate universe stuff.

        7. JWLM

          Funny and interesting…and also very, very sad.

        8. John

          Pamela has actually made an appearance on this side of the reality divide.

          I think Connie’s looks just come from being the Evil Overlord’s Beautiful Daughter, so of course she’s narratively required to be beautiful.

          I think Conquest is a fine name for a girl, too. If I ever have a daughter, I might consider naming her that.

          And, yeah, reading the Walkyverse isn’t necessary to understand the Dumbiverse, but there’s fairly often bonus funny for people who know what these characters got up to in the other universe – ironic inversions or weird fun-house mirror reflections of Walkyverse events.

        9. Romanticide

          Pamela appears the first time the pizza place is shown on the comic if my memory doesn’t fail me. 🙂

      3. pyrophobia

        That makes sense

  47. LS

    Whilst I appreciate Danny’s budding bisexuality, he is not allowed to break up with Amber. It would displease me.

    1. ShaggyDonahugh

      If the Willis giveth, the Willis can/will taketh away.

    2. timemonkey

      Therefore Amber will realise how bad the relationship is and break up with him. This will be both emotional growth and leave Danny able to hook up with Ethan as she broke up with him because of her. Best possible scenario!

  48. nkh

    *Adorability intensifies.*

  49. Robin

    THREESOME

  50. Sporky

    “This month they voted for Conquest, so they got Conquest.” Well we got her too! See, we’re not second-class citizens.

  51. JessWitt

    That fifth panel needs to be manga-ized, with shojo bubbles, roses, and what not.

    1. chisci

      Don’t tempt me

  52. madock345

    Am I a bad person for shipping Danny and Ethan even though I know it would destroy Amber? I feel like I should feel bad about that, but at the moment she feels like an acceptable sacrifice for this level of awesome.

    1. Loki1001

      Amber shouldn’t be dating anyone in the first place. Not until she gets mentally stable.

    2. timemonkey

      People are so sure she’d be destroyed. Like her entire self image is based around not dating gay guys. She didn’t fall apart when Ethan was gay, she wouldn’t fall apart when Danny comes out as bi. he might even be happy that Ethan has someone who could make him happy and get him to accept himself again.

      1. Rabid Rabbit

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/screening/

      2. 3oranges

        Amber didn’t fall apart because Ethan was gay, but she has actually broken into two pieces.

        And it does look like what happened with Ethan (being rejected romantically, working hard to defend him, then finding him with another girlfriend) didn’t help.

        It’s not a stretch to think seeing signs her relationship with Danny might follow a similar path could make things worse.

        1. timemonkey

          And I’ve been very vocal about the fact that she and Danny should break up, even before I started shipping him with Ethan.

  53. Emoroffle

    Commencing squee in 3… 2… 1…

  54. dull

    It doesn’t have to be complicated. Everybody loves polygamy.

  55. TheHorseCouncil

    And then joyce asks becky if she wants to meet her boyfriend and for whatever reason dorothy and walky part ways again, maybe she goes to class. So walky, becky and joyce go to galassos once joyce texts ethan and finds out where he is. And the rest is a mystery~

  56. Nick Piers

    Oh man, Amber is going to be SO relieved!

    And then she’ll be happy to see the boys are getting along, too!

  57. pyrophobia

    I can see many other shoes dropping in the near future
    Soon I’ll have no nails left from biting
    GDYW

  58. Malchus

    Oh, something’s getting along all right.

    ERECTION!

  59. Deanatay

    *sigh* Willis is just feeding the shippers, now.

  60. MiniPlane

    Y’know, before I was kind of just like, “oh, okay, Danny’s kinda crushing on Ethan, that’s fine, let’s see how that goes,” and the Ethan/Danny/Amber comments were funny, but eh, I wasn’t really feeling it.

    SUDDENLY I AM FEELING IT.

    And I don’t understand
    WHAT about this page makes me ship it????

    BUT SUDDENLY I AM SHIPPING IT.
    I AM SHIPPING ALL OF IT.

    *shakes fist*

  61. MiniPlane

    CURSE YOU, WILLIS.

  62. zach

    Is this mana from heaven or PCP?

  63. fantasyfreakvi

    I’m SOOOO conflicted! On one hand, I want Ethan to FINALLY stop denying his sexuality, end that painful storyline with Joyce, and get with Danny. On the other hand, I don’t want to see Amber get even MORE broken.

  64. Ulzur

    Men on the toilet: “Whew, better out than in.”
    Women on the toilet: “MY EMOTIONS ARE EXPLODING LIKE MT. ST. HELENS.”

  65. Bagge

    Danny and Ethan are, respectively Amber’s friend/boyfriendish and friend/ex. They are also her handlers. “How is she doing today?” “Is she talking to you?” “Has she had one of her… episodes?” “Does she harm herself?” “Does she harm anyone else?” “Does she harm… you?”

    This is so-so-so far from healthy relationships. In fact, it is only a few layers removed from being abusive. I think we pretty soon will see Danny try to decide wether to brake up with Amber or not (to peruse Ethan or just to get away from an unhealthy situation), and Amber’s mental health will be a factor. When/if that happens it will be VERY creepy.

    1. brumagem

      The situation is definitely not ideal, but I don’t think it’s nearly as messed up as you make it out.

      Amber has anger and self-esteem issues, but she’s never (physically) hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it (unless you count the time she unsuccessfully went after the skating gang, Sal et al.). As for yelling-episodes, yes she has some ways to go, but she’s making progress.

      As for Danny/Ethan prospects, Danny’s inability to obfuscate the truth is too strong. He’ll talk to Amber long before he and Ethan actually do anything (except maybe a heat-of-the-moment kiss). Amber will freak out at first (deja vu) but Danny still has feelings for her and hopefully will be able to communicate that before any confrontations.

      1. Bagge

        You are right (even if I definitely count the skating gang episode it was not thank to Amber/Amazigirl that no one was hurt) that things are not as bad as I make it out. I’m worrying about the future – hopefully unnecessarily.

        We know that Amber is improving and that her mental health is (kinda) OKish. But the thing is that I’m not sure that Ethan and Danny know that. Especially Ethan who mostly has seen angry/secretive Amber the last couple of days have cause to worry about her and worry about Danny. I’m hopefully overthinking it, but I do detected traces of him probing if Danny is OK in his and Amber’s relationship.

        Ok, Ok, he is probing something completely different as well, but my suspicion stands.

    2. gwalla

      Um, everything after “How is she doing today?” comes from your imagination (seriously, when has either of them even implied the possibility of Amber being abusive?)

      1. Bagge

        Yeah, that’s true. We’ll chalk it down to predictions caused by an imaginative mind and hope that I’m wrong.

  66. Jerden

    Just two guys, sitting in a café, chatting about a girl. I see nothing homoeotic here. 😉

    1. Leorale

      Willis continues to purposely fail the reverse-gender Bechdel test 😀

  67. Dalky

    if (love_triangle_count >>2)

    Solution: Polyamory?

    end_if

  68. Trismagestus

    Does her shirt say ‘Hugs Boson’ or ‘Hugs Bosom’ do you think?

    1. ahecht

      Hugs Bosom (see http://www.dumbingofage.com/about/)

    2. la6uɐ mous

      Sadly not a God Particle reference.

  69. ailorn

    Ok the contrast is the joke, “haha Amber doesn’t know what’s going on and worrying about the wrong thing.” The touching seems inappropraite to me. Ethan knows he is attracted to his friend’s love interest and yet still gives in to his impulse to touch without a thought. Danny is not setting a boundary with someone he has recently realized he is attracted to when he is with someone else. Granted he hasnt quite accepted and understood that he is Bi and just seemed relieved he is still attracted to Amber, so I give him a little more of a pass than Ethan. Despite how cute the interaction is I take issue with them both flirting with disaster and potentially hurting Amber. I don’t think the easy answer of a poly relationship would work since amber and ethan are incompatable as anything but friends.

    1. zach

      They are not currently compatible as friends.
      they seem to be working on it.
      spogress has gone well, but expect major delays.

  70. Arkadi

    Careful what you wish for, Amber…

  71. Tenn

    “You’ve got some whites in your eyes, too.”

  72. Nena

    High school and college years are full of crazy drama. They make all kinds of really stupid mistakes. Lord knows I did a lot of stupid shit at that age. Most people that age have absolutely no insight about things like this, because they never have been exposed to things like this before. High school is so controlled and monitored. When they go off to a college campus, there are no guidelines. I’ve seen some pretty messy, painful shit happen because of this.

  73. Em

    I feel like this is clear flirting, which bothers me. They are both in the wrong here, I think. Danny should put a stop to it, and Ethan shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. But I also think that they don’t realize that they are doing it. It’s possible to flirt with someone and not be aware that you’re doing it. But it’s very uncool to flirt with your friend’s s.o. It’s also not cool to flirt when you have an s.o yourself! I feel very weird about this situation.

  74. IAmDeltaS

    They should all date each other. Danny and Ethan and Amber, all together in one threesome. That would solve this problem! 😀

    1. Sir Robin

      I still maintain that the final DOA strip ever will just be the entire cast in one big orgy

      1. Marisa Mockery

        I think Willis would happily draw that Slipshine.

  75. Frost Magi

    PLEASE JUST KISS ALREADY! MAKE MY COSMIC FORCES CORRECT LIKE GOD!

    These two are literally perfect for each other, they are so damn cute together. I have like, DREAM about these two. GOD I love them <3

    1. Frost Magi

      Also, I like that Danny is there for Amber and Ethan wants to help out. But think of it this way. If Danny and Ethan hook up and go out, then Joyce will probably ALSO figure out that she does have SOME lesbian impulses somewhere in her heart and her and Amber would be perfect. Though I kinda still want the whole “Wayce” to occur.

      1. Em

        But what about Amber?

  76. Mlamlah

    Please let there be a threesome coming.

  77. Frost Magi

    I touched on Amber, Em. If Danny and Ethan hooked up, Amber and Joyce would become the second lesbian couple in DoA. It would actually be perfect.

  78. Frost Magi

    I also like how in the comments, Mlamlah has Ruth and I have Billie. Hey, wanna have sex Ruth?

  79. Marisa Mockery

    It could be because she’s in like 4 strips XD I checked. Poor Conquest. No love in this series.

  80. Idon'tcarenomore

    Careful what you ask for Amber, you’re likely to get it.

  81. Kysterick

    The background makes me want to drive down and get some Mother Bear’s.

  82. Timni

    POLYAMORY!!!

  83. ImUncreative

    OT3

  84. TheGrumpyBear

    Lost track of the comic. That duck billed waitress in the first panel…gah. So ridiculous looking.

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