224

Outloud
Posted on August 20, 2018 by David M Willis

224 thoughts on “Outloud”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    I don’t think I want to know what class Ruth thinks this is for

    1. Stu

      Remedial sex ed? Lord knows Joyce needs it.

    2. Walky_Talky

      Gender Studies……Obviously.

    3. Opus the Poet

      Gender studies, OBV

      1. Emperor Norton II

        I hear that making the same comment at the same time is how you find your true soul mate.

        Or your long-lost evil twin.

        1. Chris Phoenix

          Why can’t the same person be both?

        2. Emperor Norton II

          Have -you- ever met your evil twin without them kidnapping you, hiding you in a forest cabin, then shaving off their mandatory Evil Twin Goatee™, pretending to be you and basically ruining your reputation and your relationships and your job and your life? Because I haven’t.

          And I don’t know about you, but after this has happened, I generally don’t really feel like in the mood for just sitting closely together on the couch while talking about everything and nothing and my hand just casually slips into their hand and suddenly it’s already morning because I don’t notice time passing and I just feel like a better person simply for being with them and I can already see our future, in which [EDITED TO STOP THIS LONG-WINDED NONSENSE]

        3. HeatherJean

          No, never. Because I AM the evil twin….

        4. cbwroses

          Daria Gravatar seems especially appropriate for that comment, be it sarcastic or sincere.

        5. HeatherJean

          Oh, this little thing? I’ve had it for years. It was my mother’s.

        6. hof1991

          https://youtu.be/r1Esq1l0Yoo

          My evil twin also has an evil twin.

        7. SgtWadeyWilson

          I thought I found my long lost evil twin once.

          Though it turned out we were both actually just chaotic neutral…

        8. Schol-R-LEA;2

          I’m pretty sure Ruth’s long-lost twin is named Phoebe.

          (Kinda reaching back, there, aren’t I…)

        9. HeatherJean

          Mad About You?

        10. showler

          Are you referring to Avalon Phoebe?

        11. Schol-R-LEA;2

          Yeah, I am. The Maple Leafs shirt brought the series to mind.

        12. Annonymouse

          If I had a twin I am not sure they would be evil since I am not all that good or bad, more of a very lawful [regimented] neutral.
          They would more than likely be chaotic stupid. Then again, if that were true, that would explain why they have been lost so long ago.

    4. Christopher Clark

      Mechanical Engineering?

      1. LookingIn

        …well, it is part of mechanical history.

        Seriously, steam driven vibrators…

        1. Khyrin

          Or Culinary Arts. Bread Dildos were a thing.

    5. Emily

      Calculus

    6. Tacos

      Quantum Physics.

      1. LookingIn

        …well it has been proven that the moment of clarity after masterbation is one of your mind’s best moments

    7. BBCC

      Lots of gender studies, sexuality studies and health majors have classes that have to do with sex.

    8. Dean

      She needs another one to re-enact the lightsaber duel from Empire Strikes Back for her drama class.

      1. Not D'kcaw

        What about the one from The Force Awakens?

        I mean, Sarah’s is from a grandparent…

        1. hof1991

          Ruth is unlikely to have one from her grandfather.

    9. Larkle

      I did have a sociology class where an assignment option was to do something socially confusing and take notes on how people reacted to it.

    10. Circeus

      Dina’s how-to-sneak-around lessons?

    11. Reltzik

      Market Research 101.

    12. Marsh Maryrose

      Home Economics.

      What, you’ve never gone to http://dildo.pizza?

      1. Marsh Maryrose

        I just did this for a cheap laugh but then I read the QC comic and realized that the current Claire-and-Marten situation is sort of like a funhouse mirror version of the current Dorothy-and-Walky situation.

        1. HeatherJean

          Pet Peeve: comics and cartoons where buttons are on the wrong side, are inconsistent scene-to-scene, or are just plain impossible. Examples can be found in Family Guy, Beavis and Butthead, and Questionable Content.
          https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3811

        2. HeatherJean

          Messed up. Should bev
          https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3813
          I think

    13. Eyebrow

      It’s for Pintsize’s “dildo-based art installations”.
      https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3811

  2. Ragnarok

    Joyce, this is not how you do research.

    1. JetstreamGW

      Yeah. She needs a clipboard, and a survey document.

      1. Doctor_Who

        And you can’t just sneak up on people. Gotta stand on a street corner and accost passers-by, like the other survey takers.

        “Hi, do you have a minute to talk about your masturbatory habits?”

        1. Emperor Norton II

          My answer will always be “yes”.

      2. Falcon

        Dorothy would be an excellent source of tables and graphs.

        1. Bickendan

          “DorothyFaz would be an excellent source of tables and graphs.”
          Fixed that for you.
          *twitch*

        2. Adrastos42

          Dorothy would be an excellent source; Faz would be an abundant source.

      3. Marius Wynyard

        Don’t forget the labcoat!

  3. AnvilPro

    Look out Dorothy, there’s a new girl on the floor making a chart of everyone

  4. Reltzik

    The things that happen when you don’t have your phone out to record them…

  5. Nono

    I can’t tell if this is more catlike or doglike behaviour.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Joycelike.

      1. LookingIn

        half the stalking, twice the shame of a cat

        1. Tacos

          I’m pretty sure cats have no shame.

        2. Reltzik

          They do, just not about normal stuff. You can see their shame when they miss a jump, pratfall, realize that someone was watching them, and slink away.

  6. Achallenger

    It’s like a bold move, but somehow safer

  7. ShinyNeen

    Dang it, alt text, reminding me of Ruth’s crippling depression.
    (But also c’mon she’s totally gained new fucks to give, that’s what all that character growth is good for, riiight?)

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      It isn’t that she ran out of fucks because of her depression, she just gave them all to Billie. You can check previous strips/Slipshine to confirm, or for fun, you know whichever makes you happy.

    2. Kamino Neko

      Being out of fucks doesn’t necessarily come from depression. Especially when you’re an authority figure, and Joyce is the kind of person you have authority over.

    3. Doctor_Who

      I don’t know how long it’s been, but hopefully Ruth’s meds have started to take effect, and she’ll no longer be fuckless.

      1. mrnoidea

        Oh, it is very well possible to be happy without a fuck to give. 😀

      2. Regalli

        I think we’re still in that first couple week period? We began the storyline with her wondering if the medication was finally kicking in, and she described therapy as an attempt to ‘beat sunny into’ her. Without knowing what that therapy looks like, that could be accurate or it could be she’s still in that not-hospitalization-levels-but-clearly-sub-functional phase where all hope seems forced.

        1. BBCC

          It’s been a week and three days since she was sent to the hospital.

        2. Agemegos

          That’s a bit quick for most antidepressants, but not out of the question. Tricyclics used to work quicker than that for me when I could take them.

        3. BBCC

          I believe Ruth said at one point her’s take roughly two weeks? Or that might have been a comment about antidepressants on average. Regardless, it’s not impossible, and it could still be her having hope in the form of treatment now (or the group therapy, as she’s speculated it’s helping).

        4. Agemegos

          Yeah. Psychiatrists have always told me to expect relief in two weeks (whereas I found that tricyclics would kick in in four or even three days, probably because their sedative side-effect made me able to sleep well). It’s possible that pshrinks routinely give a slightly long estimate to encourage patients not to flake early. Be that as it may, two weeks is what I’ve always been told.

    4. Reltzik

      Not until Billie visits again.

  8. shadowcell

    Dumbing of Age Book 8: The Stick of Shame

    1. Walky_Talky

      Slipshine: Ruth and Billie’s Wild Wiggly Willie Adventure

    2. Doctor_Who

      Calling it that reminds me so much of this Wonderella strip.

      That was my intro to Wonderella, btw. Couldn’t stop laughing for like an hour.

  9. MasakiSayz

    I need ten more strips of Joyce asking literally all the girls on the floor about this and each one’s reaction being more extreme than the last.

    1. David M Willis

      i thought about it but this storyline was already running long

      1. Transgressingwaffle

        Do it! Dont let your dreams be dreams!
        Seriously though you should add a bonus section in the next print book. Day 1 buy for me.

      2. Tan

        So you restrained yourself to 9 more? Tough but fair.

      3. Emperor Norton II

        Interesting.

        DYW has already perfected the art of making the readers suffer by making excellent comics that just punches them right in the FEELS.

        Apparently that is no longer enough; so now he’s making his readers suffer by telling them of the amazing ideas he’s had but decided against doing.

  10. DailyBrad

    Shamestick sounds like a z-list comic villain.

    1. woobie

      It’s called a Spirit Stick in public.

      1. cbwroses

        Well, that puts the beginning of Bring it On in a new light.

    2. Marsh Maryrose

      A villain that Schtickshift would battle.

  11. TooOldToBeCool

    “Yes, I do…and if you ask first for a demonstration I WILL rip your femurs out.”

  12. Kyrik Michalowski

    Joyce, there has to be a better way to do this, also referring to it as a “shame stick”? No wonder she got mad at you, we just talked yesterday about not shaming people for owning a vibrator. Just because you are repressed doesn’t mean anyone else should be ashamed of it. Someone please have a real sex talk with this girl, the one her parents should have had with her/she should have learned through the internet if your parents/guardins have issues

    1. Nono

      Roz would have a field day.

      1. Reltzik

        Roz would be angry-confrontational about it, though.

        Dorothy would go soft on her to limit her shock and awkwardness.

        ….

        ….. Dammit, this just became Sarah’s job, didn’t it?

    2. Regalli

      Yeah, this ain’t healthy. Like, this is so far beyond healthy we need a fullscale excavation to reach the levels of repression Joyce is on.

      Going back to yesterday’s discussion of whether Ryan trauma’s tied up in this, I think Joyce isn’t even aware that might be a factor because she’s NEVER had a healthy grasp on her sexuality and she’s repressing it so hard now she can’t or won’t recognize where which parts of it came from.

      1. Reltzik

        … it’s not a healthy STATE to be in, but I’m reading it as a healthy ACTIVITY. Joyce is going to grow into understanding and acceptance of sexuality (even if she chooses not to partake herself) through small painfully awkward baby steps that slowly normalizes it for her. Like this right here.

    3. Rabid Rabbit

      To be fair, Joyce didn’t get to hear us talk about it.

  13. Kris

    If by “class” you mean “sexual” and “assignmen” you mean “repression” then……no Joyce still isn’t ready. It’s so she can lightsaber fight with Mary and re-enact the ending to Revenge of the Sith.

    1. Reltzik

      Uh….

      …. wait.

      …. are we talking the Palpatine/Yoda half, or the Kenobi/Anakin half?

      …..

      …. also, what does the lava/senate seats represent in this metaphor?

      1. King Daniel

        Couch Cushions, or alternatively: The Floor Is Lava.

        1. hof1991

          My favorite Floor is Lava comic
          https://www.geeksaresexy.net/2017/11/20/floor-lava-true-story-comic/

      2. cbwroses

        It’s got to be the Yoda vs Palpatine fight simply because you know Maey would be yelling “You were the chosen one!” in the other fight, and she’s too much of a bongo to be Obi Wan.
        But I bet you could easily imagine Joyce, after finding out a significant number of her dorm mates unashamedly masturbate, that she’d fall like Yoda and have to escape.

  14. RicardtheDragoon

    So, she’s taking a survey now. If the results are positive, she might just shift her morality a little bit closer to … healthy.

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Her morality?

  15. Nono

    I’m actually apprehensive of whenever she talks to Dina and/or Carla about this one.

    1. Conuly

      Does she know that Carla is trans? And what trans *means*?

      1. Nono

        She doesn’t. When she was doing introductions it was just ‘This is Carla. She gets a room to herself for some reason.’

      2. BBCC

        She’s around the right age she might be familiar with the bathroom controversy.

        Which she almost certainly learned about from her mother.

        She went to an LGBTQ+ event with Ethan but who knows how much info she actually looked at, especially since she and Becky didn’t think bisexuality was real (pre-Sierra and Billie).

        1. Regalli

          Yeah, my best guess is that she knows enough of the looming specter of Villainous Deviants to recognize the term, but when someone she cares about actually explains what it means to them personally, she’ll have another Becky moment of crashing before restructuring her brain to accommodate new information.

        2. abysswatcher1993

          To have a Becky Moment Joyce must first have the concept of transgender. Also, Carla being trans doesnt exclude her from Joyce’s quest.

        3. thejeff

          Like BBCC said, she probably learned about transgender from her parents/church in the context of bathroom controversies. She likely has the context of transgender, it’s just a horrible one.

        4. BBCC

          It doesn’t, but her being repulsed by sex, including masturbation, probably means she doesn’t own a vibrator (at least not for masturbation – she might have a vibrating massager).

      3. Dana

        My guesses would be no, and it depends on where trans issues come on the gender studies syllabus.

    2. mrnoidea

      I actually think Dina would be pretty upfront with an honest answer. She’s shown to not worry about this sort of stuff.

      “Do you have a vee-brah-tor?”
      “No.”

      1. Not D'kcaw

        “I do, however, have a vibrator.”

      2. Reltzik

        “A what?” *googles* “… oh. This appears to be an entirely unexplored avenue in my research, complete with copious online photographic and visual guides. Thank you for calling it to my attention, Joyce. How do you suggest I discuss the matter with Becky?”

        1. BBCC

          And that’s the story of how Read Hall had to have all its windows replaced.

  16. Stephen Bierce

    *notices there is a short in the speakers in this room*

    1. Ikeepforgettingmyname

      *plays ‘Good Vibrations’ on her phone to fill the void*

  17. newllend(henryvolt)

    Joyce is really good at stealth just Metal Geared her way in.

  18. Tacos

    Oh god, she’s actually gonna ask everybody on her floor if they have a vibrator.

    1. Keulen

      I did not expect Joyce to do this, but now I want to see more strips of her asking each of the girls on her floor if they have a vibrator.

  19. Haven

    How did she get into Ruth’s room without her noticing?

    1. Kamino Neko

      Ruth seems to have a literal open door policy on her RAing (not sure if that’s a personal choice or IU policy), she was deep into studying, and Joyce was doing a Shame Sneak. So…pretty easily.

    2. drs

      Joyce has been previously established as teleporting.

      1. Keulen

        This strip is the best example of Joyce’s teleportation ability.

    3. Lingo

      Nobody in this dorm seems to lock their doors anyway. Yesterday Mike went into Dorothy’s room just to taunt her.

    4. Reltzik

      Reformed Ruth has an open-door policy. I’d say she’s coming to regret it, except I’m pretty sure she regretted it from the get-go.

  20. Foxhack

    Ethan: “Is that the name of a Transformer? It sounds like the name of one.”

  21. Cerberus

    Oh my, is it wrong that I think it’s adorable that she’s doing basic inquiry, testing a claim for evidence instead of running down whatever mental pathway allows her to avoid the issue?

    Cause yes, her wandering around asking people about shame sticks is a train wreck, but I’m so proud of her for her growth.

    1. lilyliv

      Yeah, same tbh. Considering how short a time has passed since she came to college, Joyce has really grown a hell of a lot. Like what she’s done in a matter of weeks took me and other people I know actual years. She’s opening her mind a lot, and sure, she’s got some more room to grow, but I mean, same here, same for everyone. I’m proud of the kiddo.

    2. ShinyNeen

      That’s my general reaction to Joyce a lot lately. “This is way off, but also so much better than before!” Progress feels good!

    3. Regalli

      I mean it is better than just shoving it in the mental trash bin again.

      And actually there’s a chance that someone in this hall has the ability, time, and patience to give Joyce an effective Talk. (Ruth might, Carla can probably give a ‘the whole deal grosses me out but if you like it, fine, just keep it away from me’ sort of thing, Roz probably has a slide show prepared for this exact day…) Which I have to figure would be a net positive for the floor, if only for less chance of Ding Dong Bandits.

      1. ShinyNeen

        I was all set to go “oh, Dorothy juuust expressed an interest in doing just that!”, but then I remembered. Time. And so instead I get to be worried about Dorothy again.

        1. Regalli

          Every time is Worrying About Dorothy Time on my clock! (It is also Worrying About Amber Time, though they get a one-hour break for squeeing about Becky and Dina.)

    4. Emperor Norton II

      One could argue that this might be Joyce’s first steps of redemption towards -herself-. We both know that she’s already taken great steps of redemption towards other people (particularly Dorothy and Becky), but she’s still not learned much about redeeming her attitude towards the aspects of her that she’s denying to be expressed, as the term “shame stick” clearly shows.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Oh, hello there, long run-on sentence that sounded a lot better and made perfect sense in my head. I haven’t seen you in a while. Must be at least two comments since last I made you.

    5. Bagge

      It’s a very… Joyce thing to do.

  22. BarerMender

    Yay! Ruth is a lefty!

    1. Marsh Maryrose

      As are Dorothy, Joe and Sal. All four appeared in a Willis twitter post on #LeftHandersDay.

      1. ReFlex76

        Yup; just before their first time, Dorothy was grabbing Walky’s dick with her left hand.

      2. Nono

        Sal being a lefty in contrast to Walky is interesting, actually. That’s not a common quirk with fraternal twins, is it?

        1. Emperor Norton II

          Well, if it was truly a random thing; it would happen with about one in five set of fraternal twins; since about ten percent* of the population is left-handed.

          Of course, in a left-handed person’s family, there are more left-handed people than a random sample of people, so the odds of a lefty/righty set of fraternal twins is probably somewhat higher, I would think. In other words, it seems to actually be fairly common.

          On a side note, about 30% of the population is in fact mixed-handed. This differs from being truly ambidextrous in that they do different tasks with different hands, but each task has a favoured hand.

          I am one of these people. I write with my right hand, but I throw many things with my left hand; except bowling balls, which I throw right-handed. I play golf right-handed, but badminton left-handed (I actually can play badminton right-handed too, yay!). I use soup ladles and pizza cutters with my left hand, but when using knife and fork together, knife is in right hand and fork is in left.

          Some of these things I can change hands on, most of them not.

          *Number based on the top results of a quick internet search

        2. Conuly

          Well, if it was truly a random thing; it would happen with about one in five set of fraternal twins; since about ten percent* of the population is left-handed.

          For a while, the schools my nieces were in had lots of parents-attend days. Parents both being at work, I was the one who had to go to these things. Judging from what I saw at three different schools, I am convinced our stats on this are dead wrong and the number is closer to 20% or even higher.

        3. Marsh Maryrose

          I used to joke that I am equally clumsy with both hands. (Still true — poor fine motor control doesn’t care about handedness — but it doesn’t seem that funny any more.)

          My 11th-grade basketball coach suggested I try shooting with just the right hand, and that did improve my consistency, but sadly did not do anything about then-undiagnosed depth-perception issues.

          My oldest brother is a lefty. My mother told me (when I was an adult) that she’d noticed early on that I was ambidextrous. Having already seen the issues that my brother faced as a lefty, she gently encouraged me to use the right hand when that was an option. It mostly worked.

          But back in the ancient days when people wore watches, I wore mine on my right wrist. I’m not sure how that started, but I’m sure it confused people who noticed that and expected me to be left-handed.

        4. ischemgeek

          I have dysgraphia and dyspraxia. Get you so much on the bad motor control thing.

          I remember I’d stay up till 1 AM writing and re-writing the same assignment over and over trying to get one version legible enough I wouldn’t lose marks on handwriting, only to be told the next day that I needed to spend “a bit more time” on my handwriting by the teacher. :\

          Funny enough: My handwriting got a lot more legible (still not great but more legible) when I decided not to hand write anything other than math and occasional notes to myself. Fancy that, when I’m not overworking myself into joint dislocations (I also have hypermobility and hypermobility + sensory-motor dysgraphia area bad combination) and tenosynovitis and handwriting doesn’t feel like stabbing broken glass into my joints I’m better able to write legibly. Go figure.

        5. Inahc

          I’m a lefty, but always wore my watch on the left because that was where people wore watches, and by the time anyone commented on it, it had become a habit and felt *wrong* to wear it on the right. (I don’t wear jewellery either because it feels icky – sensory issues suck.)

          many drinks have been spilled from absentmindedly trying to check the time.

  23. Sporks5000

    I never imagined the words “vibrator” and “zebra” sounding so similar before

    1. Koms

      Zebras are just horses on vibrators.

  24. Wright

    Forgot to post this on yesterday’s comic, but here goes:

    I don’t quite believe Sarah, that everyone has them but Joyce.
    Chances are, oh-so-pious Mary doesn’t, and I would put money on Agatha not having one. I’m sure there must be a few others.

    I get that Joyce’s fear of sexuality is detrimental, but there are valid reasons why a person may choose to not be sexually active. I really don’t like Sarah’s attitude of “Everyone’s normal but you, you freak.” It’s kind of like slut-shaming in reverse.

    1. Ivy

      I mean I’m not sexually repressed but I don’t have a vibrator. Don’t need one.

    2. Regalli

      Not to mention Carla (sex-repulsed ace, meaning the only reason she would have anything of the kind is for schemes or actual back massaging.) I think the number’s a lot lower than Sarah expects, though certainly not zero (I’d place good money on Billie, even if she’s not in the dorm anymore.)

      But yeah, the message was a lot better delivered by Dorothy with ‘the urges you’re experiencing are normal and valid’ than Sarah’s implied ‘something’s wrong with you for this’, even if it’s geared more towards Joyce having sexual thoughts and not acting on them rather than not having them at all. I get that it’s Sarah and she’s testy because Joyce is Joyce, but it still came off even sharper than usual.

      1. Wright

        I thought someone was ace! Forgot it was Carla. Thanks!

      2. thejeff

        Yeah, I’d say Sarah was exaggerating for effect and while they may be common on the floor, it’s certainly not everyone. In addition to those already mentioned, Dina probably doesn’t, given her early lack of interest/knowledge of sex things.

        OTOH, Roz may have enough to average out to one apiece. 🙂

      3. Human

        Sex repulsed ace people may still masturbate. Obviously not all do, but a fair number. Asexuality means there are no people you’re sexually attracted to, and sex repulsed people might actually have an easier time masturbating using a vibrator. People don’t even necessarily have to use it on their genitals to still come from the vibration.

        1. BBCC

          Willis has said before that Carla wouldn’t be in any slip shine pin ups (which include things like sexy poses and masturbation) because she wouldn’t be into it, so she probably doesn’t have a vibrator for sexy reasons.

    3. Rain

      Masturbating is not a form of being sexually active, though. Like when they ask you at the doctor’s office if you’re “sexually active”, that is strictly about having sexual activities with at least one other person.

      I think Sarah is wrong, too, partly for sad reasons — there’s still a distressing number of married heterosexual women who don’t know what orgasms are, either at all or just in terms of never having experienced one first-hand (hah, pun) — but assuming that most people around her masturbate is orders of magnitude away from assuming most of them are sexually active.

  25. Mollyscribbles

    Secondary response: “Please tell me you’re not asking to borrow one.”

  26. mschmidt62

    Wasn’t Veebrator Gigantor’s sister?

  27. Ivy

    Just use your hands or grind on a pillow, Joyce.
    You don’t need a fancy tool.

    1. tirachokko

      Weird place to comment, but the pillow thing doesn’t work out so hot for some of us (painful/nothing?) Like, 10/10 have faked it for someone else partially b.c it was the easiest way to refuse to remove all my clothing but get through the situation, but wasn’t sure if it was just something gone wrong(?)

      1. Ivy

        I mean I just mentioned the pillow thing cuz it’s what worked for me before I figured out where the clit is, so I figured it’s sort of a beginner’s step

      2. Ivy

        Also, I’m sorry for this situation you were in, that sounds rough

      3. Inahc

        I don’t get the pillow thing either, but my clit is practically an innie. also, using my hand is pretty hard on my wrist – vibrators are way way easier.

  28. Emperor Norton II

    On an almost complete side note.

    Last night, I watched “Nanette” on Netflix, Hannah Gadsby’s latest stand-up show.

    I’m still stunned from it.

    I have never watched such a -meaningful- stand-up show in my life.

    And I’m sure that many people here have already watched it (I reckon a fair few DoA fans are also Gadsby fans), but if not, then I really, really, -really- recommend it for you.

    Content Warning: This show is not always about Hannah being funny (which she is); in the second half, she will talk honestly about some of the worst aspects of being a lesbian woman that is not particularly “feminine” looking. I don’t think I need to explain further what that means.

    Now, I was not surprised by hearing of those things, not in the least. I know about them all too well. But the way she tells it, the way she grabs your attention and makes it impossible for you to stop… “Brutally honest” is a term that is not good enough to describe this part of the show.

    I recommend this show. That is all.

    1. Inahc

      yeah. first thing I watched when I got netflix 🙂

  29. Inahc

    Now I wanna see Joyce try to say “smeghead” 🙂

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Inahc, do you have any idea what the penalty is for calling your RA a smeghead?

      1. Reltzik

        Depends on the RA. I imagine some would actually encourage it.

      2. Abel Undercity

        You spend the rest of the year in suspended animation, with a forfeiture of shares.

        1. Marius Wynyard

          Beats the forfeiture of femurs… ?

      3. fire_daws

        Oh Delicious Taffy,, you are a smeg head.

  30. Bagge

    I’m really glad that Joyce in the last panel confirms that she’s asking every woman on the floor, so it’s not just my headcanon.

    1. Emperor Norton II

      My headcanon involves Becky sneaking behind Joyce and listening in on all the conversations.

      1. Bagge

        I still maintain my headcanon that any time we see a tree in autumn colours, Becky is up there pretending to be a squirrel.

  31. toby

    I am absolutely delighted to see where this goes.

    …a sentence not uttered by Joyce while conducting this survey

    1. Kim

      Haha 🙂

  32. Kim

    Actually, she succeeds in pronouncing it correctly in swedish. Hope she doesn’t find out 🙂

    1. Bickendan

      I’m all for ‘veebrahtor’ being the correct pronunciation, period.

    2. Emperor Norton II

      I’m now imagining The Swedish Chef using a vibrator instead of a normal mixer when f.ex. making some pancake batter.

  33. Emperor Norton II

    On a more positive note:

    -If- you are sexually active, and -if- you like vibrators, and -if- you got about a hundred bucks to spend, then “Doxy” is one really good choice. Bought it for my wife a few years back, and of the sex toys I’ve gotten her over the years, it is -by far- the most used.

    But it’s basically a better Magic Wand; so if you already have that, you are probably already good.

  34. tim gueguen

    I wonder if Joyce has been taking invisibility lessons from Dina.

    1. BenRG

      I think that this proves that invisibility is caused by social awkwardness, not any intrinsic quality on Dina’s part.

    2. cbwroses

      Rather than invisibility, this is straight stealth.
      Joyce came in trying to hide.
      Dina you just don’t notice (until you feel the kiss of the blade against your throat).

  35. Keulen

    Behold, the field in which Ruth grows her fucks.

  36. Groningen

    That IS how you pronounce it in Dutch

    Source: I’m dutch.

    1. erejnion

      That is how it’s pronounced in a lot of languages. Frankly, English is the odd one out.

      1. Emperor Norton II

        Still not as odd as how in all other Latin or Germanic based languages, it’s “ananas” in one form or another; while in English, it’s “pineapple”.

        1. Roborat

          I thought it was “throatwobbler mangrove”.

        2. avistel

          You are a very silly man and I’m not going to interview you

  37. BrokenEye, the True False Prophet

    Asking for a friend

  38. Reaver

    “shame stick” And Joyce still with her slut shaming ways

  39. kitty

    sarah was most likely not speaking literally about the vibrators but then joyce most likely took it literally

    at times like these i wonder if there was a real life occurance that happened to willi s that inspired this story line for the auto biographical character

  40. brasca1

    Seriously Joyce?! Sharing toys is good, but not these toys!

    1. CJ

      Don’t fret. She’s just checking if Sarah’s pronouncement was true.

  41. BenRG

    Poor Ruth is increasingly aware of the fact that she seems to be practically the only sane person on this floor.

    1. hof1991

      Sanity = not a frosh. The sophomores seem pretty sane.

    2. Agemegos

      I find it very weird having to reconcile my knowledge that I am totally and permanently incapacitated by mental illness with my frequent strong feeling that I am the only sane person in a conversation.

  42. Bunnyfufu

    I have renamed my vibrator to shame-stick.

  43. Ophidiophile

    Yes, Joyce, if you say it out loud, you’ll have to buy one. However, you can pick up some lubricant at the same time, and then you’ll be able to talk to Dorothy.

    1. stoodmuffin

      I feel there is a small percentage that this could be where it’s going

    2. Emperor Norton II

      If you say “vibrator” loudly three times in a row while standing in front of a mirror, Erika Moen will suddenly appear and ask you questions to help you figure you which vibrator is best for you.

  44. stoodmuffin

    Is. Is this going somewhere or is this where the joke ends?

    I have. Questions if this has further plot developments.

    1. Reltzik

      Tomorrow, first three panels of the strip, Joyce explains why she’s asking (Sarah said everyone else on the floor had one and she was trying to see if that was true) and then scampers off in mortal shame.

      Panel 4: Ruth staring after Joyce in WTF shock.
      Panel 5: Ruth thinking about it.
      Panel 6: Ruth conducting “surprise contraband inspections” of Mary’s dorm room.

      (Just speculating, not transcribing from Patreon previews.)

      1. BBCC

        …Why would a vibrator be contraband?

        1. Rabid Rabbit

          Because it’s Indiana? I mean, the campus is no-alcohol, so who knows what else is banned…

        2. King Daniel

          The campus is no-alcohol because the drinking age in the US is 21, and many – if not most – of the students will be in the 18-20 range.

        3. Agemegos

          When I was a very young undergrad at the Uni of New South Wales there were three colleges (= US dorms) on the campus that were affiliated with various religions*. The Anglican (= US Episcopalian) college forbade alcohol, the Catholic college forbade women (seriously: the residents had to evacuate each floor one a week for the cleaning staff), and the Jewish college forbade food.

          * besides several secular colleges.

        4. JBento

          FOOD? O_o

        5. thejeff

          In the dorm, I hope, not the entire school.

        6. Agemegos

          Yes. In Shalom College the inmates were not allowed to keep any food in their rooms whatsoever. It was something to do with keeping kosher. The rule against women at Warrane College was much weirder — residents were in my day not even allow to have their mothers visit them in their rooms. (Warrane College is run by Opus Dei.)

        7. JBento

          I disagree on the weirder. If you want to take away my nightly snack, be prepared for me to feast on your bloody corpse instead.

        8. thejeff

          I don’t know. I mean, I get segregated dorms. I get policies about visitors and all that.
          Clearing the floor for the cleaning staff? That’s weird.

        9. Reltzik

          Because of the Principle of Convenient Half-Assed RA Excuse.

        10. JBento

          Ah, good ol’ PCHARAE. Doeesn’t get much use these days, because Millenials are killing the bullshit industry (I wish).

    2. BenRG

      Wild, random possibility: Joyce runs into Mike, who is depressed and sulking because Ethan has dumped him. The two get talking about their relationship errors and neuroses. The resulting outpouring of various deeply-entrenched anxieties leads to emotional vulnerability and their making out, much to the surprise of them both.

      The next few chapters will have at least a B-plot about them trying to work out what (if anything) they do about this.

      1. Clif

        Good luck with that.

  45. AndysDrawings

    Desk Joyce is watching you veebraht.

  46. Anywhere

    The Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit has become the Vibrator Vigilante. You could fill a rogue’s gallery with Joyce’s sexual hangups.

  47. Delicious Taffy

    Jesus would buy a vibrator, Joyce. He’d buy the shiniest, loudest one in the store, and use it until it turned to atoms in His hands. Be like Jesus.

  48. Emily

    Joyce really needs to learn about boundaries.

    1. timemonkey

      If she has to stretch hers so does everyone else!

      1. Inahc

        er… I don’t think the word means what you think it means?

  49. kilgaen

    “Do you have a fuck?”
    “Sorry. If I do, I got none to give.”

  50. Vulcanodon

    In a way she’s testing her reality against Sarah’s.

  51. BenRG

    I’ve got the feeling that this is the start of what is going to be a long and complex conversation between Joyce and Ruth. Some strange part of me wonders if others will be dragged into it too.

    Eventually, Sal will find out that the large group of girls wandering around the dorm are ‘finding out who uses vibrators’ and no-one will know why!

  52. Bibulb

    “No, I have a Slipshine. It works wonders.”

  53. JBento

    That’d be either a terrible class assignment, or a REAAAAALLLLY good one.

  54. Bagge

    Now, I wonder how many of the women in the floor answered with:
    “A vibrator? Oh you poor thing, of course you can borrow it. Just clean it VERY CAREFULLY.”

    Makes me wonder if she has asked Roz yet.

    1. thejeff

      She hasn’t asked Roz. Roz would have given her a detailed explanation, showing her various different models and describing their uses and the advantages of each kind.

      It would be days before Joyce rebooted.

      1. CJ

        That’s a Joyce-Face I’d like to see.

      2. ValdVin

        Roz probably has loaners for just such an ocaission.

  55. FacelessDeviant

    Shame stick would be an AWESOME nickname for ones private parts!

  56. abysswatcher1993

    There’s probably a few women that don’t have vibrators… they could probably just have dildos or do manual job…

    Also, I hope Ruth takes time to have the talk with Joyce, because I doubt Sarah would.

  57. Ryek Hvek

    Doesn’t everybody take Remedial Depravity 101 ??

  58. erejnion

    That’s exactly how it’s pronounced, dear.

    In Bulgarian. Вибратор. Vee-brah-tor.

  59. Danny

    in joyce’s defence, she did pronounce it correctly in dutch

  60. ego

    once in a while jeph jacques goes on vacation and has half a dozen episodes written by other strippers. “joyce’s dildo quest” seems to call for that sort of treatment, maybe the comics could be included at the end of the book as bloopers, or outtakes

  61. Gojira

    Do you wanna buy a fuck?
    A what?
    A fuck
    A what?
    A fuck
    Does it quack?
    Of course it quacks.

  62. Ahem

    Actually, Joyce used the correct Latin pronunciation.

    What would upset her most, that she spoke in Catholic-Latin or Pagan-Latin?

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