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Paramour
Posted on May 19, 2022 by David M Willis
The Dumbing of Age Book 11 Kickstarter is live! I Excised All my Anxieties into Cartoon Characters Who Definitely Don't Have Feelings for Each Other will collect "Year Eleven," spanning the five storylines that start on September 10, 2020, and complete on August 26, 2021. This includes new commentary, 24 Patreon bonus strips, behind-the-scenes artwork, and new character designs into an 224-page tome with luxurious glossy paper all bound up into a sturdy presentation.   11 character magnets are unlocked, with more to come!   6 days to go!

267 thoughts on “Paramour”

  1. Doctor_Who

    I just knew every frame of these two interacting would be gold.

    1. Jenniffniff

      Right? I’ve been waiting for this narcissism-off!

      1. Mturtle7

        It’s the stuck-up straight man vs. the wacky narcissist!

  2. The Wellerman

    Welp I’m bored.

    When’s tea time? ?

    Also, what’s your favourite kind of tea? ?

    *plays “Westminster Bridge Down” by Murray Gold on hacked muzak*

    1. RassilonTDavros

      Heh, guess I’m not the only one who’s been thinking about Who more than normal these last few days. Brain’s still reeling from the news!

      1. The Wellerman

        Wait, what news?

        1. Stephen Bierce

          Probably means recasting The Doctor over the past week.
          Else it could be Her Royal Highness visiting Paddington Station to inaugurate the Elizabeth Line of the London Underground.

        2. RassilonTDavros

          Oh uh… there’s a lot

          a LOT a lot

          I don’t want to like say it all here directly, for people who are trying to keep free of any and all news surrounding it, but here’s a link to the official news page for the show.

        3. The Wellerman

          All very good!!! I think. Do humans think this is good?

          Anyway, I hope the Weeping Angels come back some time soon, they’re my favorite monster in the series!!!

        4. wwwhhattt

          More Scots is always a good thing. More weeping angels would be good too, although I never thought they lived up to their first appearance.

          Anyway regarding the OP, Earl Grey if I just want a quick drink, chai if I’ve the time (and enough ginger lying around)

        5. Saida

          How do you prepare a chai? I usually get chai latte from a shop when I have it.

        6. wwwhhattt

          8 cardamom pods (bashed)
          4 cloves
          1/2 a cinnamon stick
          5cm ginger (grated) (not a very useful measurement, but as long as the piece isn’t too thick it’s about right)
          500 ml water

          Bring that to the boil and leave it on a low heat for 10 minutes, then add:
          2 teabags
          sugar (I do a couple of teaspoons)
          500 ml milk
          Heat all that up and strain it.

          I’ve heard of people adding espressos, but I’ve never tried it Similarly replacing the fresh spices with 1/16th teaspoons of ground versions of each.

        7. davidbreslin101

          I’m just waiting for all the fans who’ve spent the past 3 years going “I’m not sexist but it sucks now” to pivot to “I’m not racist but it sucks now.”

        8. RassilonTDavros

          Pfft, as if those buffoons would actually wait until the new Doctor aired to say shit like that. I’m seeing those takes already!

    2. Opus the Poet

      I prefer Irish Breakfast, either straight or with a ton of sugar and a splash of milk, which is how I drink it when I first get up, just like I did when UI was a wee lad in Placentia NL.

  3. Ana Chronistic

    “Now see here… firstly, Ruth and I aren’t friends”

    1. Sirksome

      Pfft. This might actually be true though.

      1. JBento

        I mean, Ruth told Carla that she’d just have to put up with Mary’s harassment because that’s the way things were, so yeah, that’s definitely true.

        1. thejeff

          Because she was being blackmailed. They’ve dealt with it.

          Judging by their behavior and their interactions, Ruth is one of Carla’s closest friends here – which isn’t to say much, since we don’t see Carla seeking out people to have friendly interactions with much.

        2. Sirksome

          I don’t want to presume meaning in Ana Chronistic’s quote, but I at least interpreted it to be from Jason’s pov. Meaning even Jason doesn’t consider him and Ruth “friends” even if they are involved in some sort of romance or relationship.

    2. Juanoku

      Yeah i can buy that

    3. Rose by Any Other Name

      Yup. Paramour implies lover (or fuck-boy) rather than anything with an emotional component. There’s also an element of secrecy implied in the term – that Jason is someone she wishes to keep secret. Not that sending him to deal with Carla is a good way to do so, but…

      1. Nova

        With polyamorous couples, paramour can just be used in the same way “partner” is, specifically alongside “metamour” to distinguish your partners from your partners’ partners.

        1. Nova

          Yes I know I wrote “polyamorous couples” but I didn’t want to get into the explanation of “polycule” at the same time.

      2. BBCC

        I mostly know it from game of thrones/a song of ice and fire, where it’s a partner you’re not married to which usually involves sex but also sometimes feelings.

        Which, tbf, IS usually scandalous because y’know…..nobles aren’t supposed to have lovers outside of marriage (and if they do, they’re supposed to pretend they don’t exist).

    4. Mturtle7

      I am now imagining Jason attempting to refer to himself as Ruth’s “boy toy”, which results in his head exploding before he can say the words.

      1. milu

        Oh shit that would actually be really hot

  4. Sirksome

    Are ya winning, Jason? …..No….no you’re not.

  5. ThunderNight

    He’s Ruth’s Paramore? Sounds like some misery business.

    1. Tisiphone

      They were born for this.

    2. Thag Simmons

      She’s going through some Hard Times

    3. Dinajoyce

      I think Carla might start a Riot!

    4. Carla's #2 Fan

      We’re going to end up with an Emergency, aren’t we?

    5. Rose by Any Other Name

      Jason’s obviously worried about Where The Lines Overlap between fuck-toy and boyfriend.

    6. milu

      Carla: “Pfff, you’re not her Paramore. We all know who that is. You’re just a knockoff. And you know what? Good 4 U”

    7. Andy

      Only for as long as she tells him “I’m Still Into You”

  6. Nick Piers

    Come to think of it, how disappointed was young Dina when she learned a thesaurus isn’t a dinosaur?

    1. Doctor_Who

      She was disappointed, discontented, disenchanted, disgruntled, crestfallen, despondent, downcast, and frustrated.

      1. Bicycle Bill

        The discovery of this comment and response leaves me delighted, ecstatic, elated, gladdened, gratified, jubilant, and overjoyed.

      2. Bicycle Bill

        In addition, if you can find one, I recommend perusing a copy of “Dodosaurs” – subtitle, “The Dinosaurs That Didn’t Make it” – by Rick Meyerowitz (orig published in 1984, expanding on an article printed in the long-gone but still lamented “National Lampoon” magazine).

      3. StClair

        Excellent. Fantastic. Magnificent. Superb.

      4. RedCat

        Also sad.

      5. Username Taken

        *Chef’s kiss*

        This reminds me of The Goes Wrong Show. 😀

    2. Thag Simmons

      That name has always frustrated me

    3. Agemegos

      I’m disappointed that no puckish taxonomist has yet used “Thesaurus” for a generic name.

      There used to be a fossil snake called Montypythonoides riversleighensis until some party-pooper (a friend of mine from school, actually) reclassified it into Morelia.

  7. Wraithy2773

    Yeah, mild middle-fingers to Carla for demanding foreigners stop talking how they feel comfortable talking. It’s an ass thing to do.

    Honestly, the amount of “shitting on the brit” that goes on in this comic… I mean, what did the English do to deserve that kind of treatment?

    …okay, yes, there’s that. And that. Right, that too. And yeah, that was a dick move. Oof, forgot about that. Yeah, that too, Damn, didn’t know about that one. Riiight, that was pretty awful too. Slow down folks, starting to talk over yourselves…

    1. Yotomoe

      I mean on one hand I agree. on the other hand I’m friends with some Brits and they don’t talk like Jason. Though they definitely do choose their words more careful than I do and I do admire that. Granted I also use kinda large words which makes me sound a bit pretentious so I’m used to it.

      1. ValdVin

        For me it’s not the accent alone. He seems to unleash his inner Henry Higgins at the drop of a hat.

        1. ahecht

          I was very confused by your comment until I realized you said Henry Higgins and not Henry Huggins.

      2. Emmy

        I am a British English Lit teacher. And I don’t chose my words that carefully ?‍♀️ I’ve certainly never said paramour.

    2. Nono

      Americans pile on Brits and Canadians a LOT, even in a fair amount of media. I think it’s less so now… but still.

      I think making fun of Aussie accents was a thing for a while, too.

      1. Wraithy2773

        Americans pile on the Brits a lot because they’ve done more awful things to developing nations than we have, historically speaking. Gotta secure the moral high ground where you can!

        1. Laura

          Sarcasm?

        2. Wraithy2773

          If you count the shit that the English have done to Scotland and Ireland (and probably Wales too), they’re way ahead of Americans. You have to keep in mind that the United Kingdom had a several hundred year head start on the USA, and did a lot of their stuff back when starting a drug epidemic in order to spark a war to force onerous trade concessions on a sovereign nation was seen as only mildly untoward.

        3. Laura

          Huh. I didn’t think there was a worse crime than dropping the atom bomb. Granted, Japan wasn’t exactly “developing”. But neither was China when Britain started the opium wars.

          Not trying to argue, just thought that dropping the bomb was the worst thing a nation could ever do.

        4. Laura

          I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m some kind of terrible holocaust revisionist or something. I’m not. Plenty of crime to go around. I just meant, in terms of developing and putting into circulation and establishing precedent for using a new technology with not just the capacity but the likelihood of poisoning all life on the planet — not just currently but for hundreds of thousands of years to come — I just, it doesn’t seem like anything else really compares.

          That’s just me, though. My Grampa helped design the darn thing. And got 2-4 family members who’ve experienced radiation poisoning. So, I mean, it’s just a personal perspective.

        5. The Wellerman

          Nuclear technology has a bad reputation for sure, but it’s also part of our only hopes for saving our planet from devastating climate change, which if we can avert will make all life on earth, including humans, winners.

          Also this quote:

          Our powers… come from a dark place. But that place doesn’t make us who we are. It never will. We can use our powers to help people, like I’m helping you right now.”

          — Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

        6. The Wellerman

          Sorry, ADHDemon brain! ??

          Your Grampa was a physicist or engineer? I actually find that cool, since I’m a STEM major myself! ?

        7. Wraithy2773

          Oh, the nuclear bomb was a terrible weapon to drop on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

          But… we tend to overamplify it. The firebombing of Tokyo killed a fairly comparable amount of people to Hiroshima, after all. The USA wasn’t exactly lacking a way to kill massive numbers of people from the sky.

          And I don’t think the comparison between Imperial Japan and Opium War-era China is really appropriate, given that it’s, ya know, Imperial Japan. They were an imperialist state, they weren’t in the USA’s economic or military weight class (at that point, frankly, no nation on Earth was), but they were conquering other lands and oppressing their people in order to fuel their own economic and military engines.

          The nuclear bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki were horrendous acts, completely unnecessary, utterly pointless, and a terrible crime against the Japanese people. But they were not the most imperialist action taken in world history by a long shot, it’s just an entirely different flavor of horror.

        8. The Wellerman

          You’re missing the point human!

          If we don’t employ all the help we can get in combating climate change, including that from nuclear power, all humans are DONE FOR.

        9. Wraithy2773

          @The Wellerman: I was responding to the just general talk about the nuclear bombs being the greatest Impeiralist crime in history. I’ve got zero issue with Nuclear Power assuming that its practical to implement (Nuclear Reactors do tend to take a while to build, I’ve heard modern ones can be done much faster and if so I heartily support them, but it is a concern to keep in mind).

        10. Laura

          Fair point. I appreciate your perspective, and I am grateful to you for sharing it.

        11. Wraithy2773

          @Laura Likewise! We’re dealing with war crimes and imperialism and all that fun bullshit, best advice is just be honest, grab a drink or a blunt, and try to remember that there never were any “good old days”, just times we didn’t know more…

        12. The Wellerman

          Hooray! Hope for your species! ?

        13. khn0

          It’s kinda hard to have a civil nuclear programm without a military one.
          Because plants are strategic devices that need a close control, an accute defense, and no fucking with them. And when you ask for control, defense, and no fucking, it’s never far from the army.
          Also I have problems to see it as a solution: time, same problem with water use as hydraulics when water become scarce, relying on imperialism for uranium (see problems in Niger) -not even speaking of waste. I’m from a country that implemented nuclear civil research in the 50’s and favoured nuclear energy in the 70’s so that’s it’s a large majority in our mix, and if the whole planet had the same energy use as we do, it’d still be catastrophic.

        14. not someone else

          Yeah. As an American, my attitude towards Britain is pretty much “we learned it from you, Dad, we learned it from you“.

        15. Wraithy2773

          Oh dear fuck did we.

          So did our siblings, Canada and Australia, they just didn’t go nearly as far as we did.

        16. BBCC

          I dunno, Canada has over 100,000 Native children forced through a pretty horrific “school” system designed to beat the Native out of them and a whole lotta those kids didn’t make it out. The last one closed within my lifetime. I’m 26 years old.

          I’d say we have a fair chunk of reckoning to do ourselves.

        17. a/snow/mous/e

          And the cat’s in the cradle with a silver spoon…

        18. Greebs

          To be fair, the British will do more than our fair share at throwing shade on our transatlantic cousins too. But we’re a tiny island yelling at clouds instead of the largest country on the English speaking internet, so it probably doesn’t come across so well.

        19. Roborat

          Why are you talking about Canada?

        20. drs

          Brits had more of an overseas empire, thus the ‘developing’ nations. America went more for a contiguous empire, from sea to shining sea, and our main victims were all the native nations in the way. Plus all the African slaves we imported, not that Britain was innocent there.

          Also America went for an overseas empire too, but with a lighter touch, messing around in banana republics and overthrowing leaders rather than outright administration. Except for Cuba, and the Philippines… and Afghanistan and Iraq…

        21. The Wellerman

          Eh, they’re equally contemptible.

          The point really is that we move forward to make this world more fair, embracing the will to favor the weak and restrain the strong in all that we do.

          One by one, the White Gods fall,
          And their self-righteous angels fall with them.

      2. The Wellerman

        Eh, I give ’em a break ’cause I was practically raised on British and Australian and Canadian TV shows!

        Crocodile Hunter will always have a special place in my heart!! ?

        Also that one time I tried to build a real Nu Nu from TeleTubbies! ?

        1. The Wellerman

          IF YOU NEED A BREAK FROM HARD DISCUSSION HERE:

          How many of you remember pretending to be a Weeping Angel on the playground? ?

        2. StClair

          on the…
          in 2007, you were…

          *crumbles into dust*

        3. Needfuldoer

          Playground?

          I was in college in 2007…

          [Saving Private Ryan aging sequence dot gif]

        4. Agemegos

          I had retired by 2007.

        5. Agemegos

          In my day it was daleks.

        6. Azhrei Vep

          Weeping angel? Pffft. Nobody even knew what Doctor Who was on the playground back then. A fact I am terribly nostalgic for. I miss not knowing about Dr. Who. Those were better times.

          Nah, everybody was all about that hot new character: Sonic the Hedgehog.

      3. Yotomoe

        I think it’s because, as of right now, It’s kinda the only punching up, or at least not punching down, that people will on average not really call you out on. I mean you can also punch at rich people or the government but that’s a lot less personal.

        1. zee

          I believe that’s also punching up

        2. Yotomoe

          I concur.

    3. zee

      *stares in commonwealth*

    4. Sirksome

      I think every country does its fair share of piling on every other country. I’m pretty sure no one country has the absolute moral high ground. I think it’s just part of human nature. We are a tribal species after all.

      1. The Wellerman

        See, this human GETS IT.

        Did resentment and baggage like this not exist before the British?

        As far as I’m concerned, as long as humans stay “human” — as long as individual humans’ intrinsic vulnerabilities compel them to give themselves over to concentrated power just to survive in an unjust, indifferent universe, only to restart social pyramids over and over again — this viscous cycle of tyranny, conflict and resentment, all this UGLINESS that stains your species and your history, will be an inevitable aspect of existence.

      2. Wraithy2773

        Pretty much! I wasn’t meaning to actually come off as sneering at the Brits or outright taking their side, history’s an ugly, complicated mess, and sometimes I enjoy using a bit of gallows humor to try to approach the blood on the various hands…

        1. The Wellerman

          If your species will continue, clap your hands!

      3. zee

        There’s actually a video about this
        https://youtu.be/auFC_LfO5hQ (sorry for no embedded, on mobile so i do not wanna fuck with html)

        Tl;Dr because of our… Unique path to existence, it was concluded that the English speaking Caribbean was the least bad comparatively. Not spotless by any means but, less mass bloody. It’s an interesting watc

    5. LiamKav

      She’s not calling out Jason for being British though. She’s calling him out for being up his own arse, and pretending that British people use words like “paramour” as a regular thing.

      1. milu

        well, she did rightly peg him down as an elitist though as evidenced by his last statement.

    6. Agemegos

      This list of countries that the UK hasn’t invaded is much more manageable than its complement. There’s Andorra, Belarus, Bolivia, Burundi
      Central African Republic, Chad, Republic of Congo, Guatemala, Ivory Coast, Kyrgyzstan, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Mali, Marshall Islands, Monaco, Mongolia, Paraguay, Sao Tome and Principe, Sweden, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, and the Vatican City. The other list is about 180 names long.

      1. milu

        XD
        …
        T_T

      2. Mano308gts

        It’s about time for the English to invade Sweden, get back at them for that whole episode 1,000 years ago, when near enough every Swede, Dane, and Norwegian thought that England was their personal shopping ground…

        (Yes, exaggerated a tad bit, but for the sake of humor. Plus the Swedes barely pillaged in England, they were to busy in Finland/Kievan Rus.)

    7. Andy

      I mean, Jason’s being pretty classist with his “I shall not lower myself to a cruder level such as yours” comment. Which really isn’t surprising; classism is almost a bigger problem in the UK than the US.

      1. Wraithy2773

        Sure, but he only did that after she refused to talk to him unless he changed his mode of speech. As far as I’m concerned, he’s well within his rights to pull a “fuck me? No, fuck you!” move there.

        And yeah, Jason is classist as fuck. Its a major character flaw with him. No question. Carla’s character flaw of demanding everything be about her is a lot more annoying in this strip, though.

    8. Opus the Poet

      TBH even the brits and other UK citizens dislike this particular accent, I read an article in a UK magazine (OK porno rag) that called it Jen Teele.

    9. Devious Smile

      i mean…doing things that are “ass thing to do”. is kind of Carlas Normal MO.
      the only other one that comes close to her is Malaya.

  8. Yotomoe

    https://i.imgur.com/nTLZiF8.png (questionable?)
    https://i.imgur.com/JNw5hvB.png (questionable? There’s walky boobs)
    alright here we go. Gettin’ back to business.

    Fun fact when I started this a while back , the punchline to page 38 was one of the first I came up with.

    Story so far…
    https://imgur.com/a/9Ob1cy3

    1. The Wellerman

      ? ?

      Walky I’m into the weirdest crap too!
      ADHDemons forever!!!! ? ?️‍?

      ???

      Seeing them relate on this level is just so precious!!!
      Spite it all they’re still the best of childhood friends!

      Seriously bruh, you have no idea how happy this makes me!!!

      ???

      *plays “Shoulder to Shoulder” by Carly Simon on hacked muzak*

    2. Bagge

      This is turning downright adorable

    3. milu

      Which one is page 38?
      And what do you mean “questionable”

      1. keldas

        Questionably SFW.

        IMO these are SFW, but there are NSFW references in speech bubbles so *shrug*

        1. milu

          oooh makes sense thx

    4. cbwroses

      Why do I find her kissing him and then saying “but I guess I am, too” so hot?
      Adorable, of course, but why also hot?

      1. milu

        because tenderness and vulnerability are hot? (especially from someone who prides themself on being “normal” like Billingsworth)

        1. cbwroses

          Maybe.

    5. cbwroses

      Also, it’s kinda cool that she’s at least reconsidering that she’s not just doing HIM a favor when she’s looks at the living caramel sculpture (enjoy it while that metabolism lasts, Walky).

    6. Roborat

      Still really enjoying this, you are a masterful storycrafter. Also, think you have a typo in the first strip you linked, second panel, the “to” reads better as “the”.

  9. Sirksome

    I am confused at how exactly (dating?) Ruth gives Jason any authority or responsibility to Ruth’s RA obligations? For that matter does Ruth even have any power to tell Carla what to do in regards to her freedom to, I guess gossip about who banged who? This is just really weird how this turned out.

    1. Taffy

      I think Jason’s basically sort of dumb and decided to put on the responsibility like a character from an old kids’ show, not that any real authority is existing here.

      1. Bagge

        >I think Jason’s basically sort of dumb
        That checks out

    2. Yotomoe

      Technically speaking he has no obligation. I think he’s doing it out of a sense of responsibility. He’s sleeping in her room, she is out, so he thinks he should at least help her with her work while she’s out. Probably overstepping a bit but I assume his heart is in the right place.

      1. Bagge

        >Probably overstepping a bit but I assume his heart is in the right place.
        Out of heart, brain and dick, two things are in the right place, which is pretty good all things considered.

        1. Taffy

          Pff, that should be an expression. “Well, he completely messed this up, but at least his dick was in the right place.”

        2. milu

          “He did it out of the goodness of his dick”

        3. Taffy

          “I know I messed up, but if you can find it in your dick to forgive me…”

        4. milu

          “I think it’s time you and me had a little dick-to-dick”

        5. Taffy

          “She took one look at her and fell dick over heels.”

        6. Andy

          I’ll point out that we don’t see below his waist, so there’s a chance his dick isn’t in the right place

    3. Deathjavu

      No, Ruth doesn’t have that power to stop Carla telling Joyce either. This plan was stupid all the way through from the start, Jason’s involvement only a bad plan worse.

      1. Roborat

        Maybe she used the power invested in her RA status and deputized him.

    4. Cerusee

      It doesn’t. You have to take into account most of the characters being very young, very inexperienced, and having weird, confused ideas about what beinf in charge means. Jason has absolutely no authority or responsibility here at all—but he’s somewhat publicly dating the RA, he was in her room when they knocked on the door, he’s a recent ex-TA that some of them knew in that capacity, and he’s older and also is a recent ex-TA where he had a very small amount of authority and he himself remembers that. Also, he has an upper class British accent and a sense of class entitlement. None of this translates into actual authority, but added together, it’s not weird that some naive American undergrads look at everything Jason has going on and think “oh yes, authority figure” even if it’s just like RA-level authority. As we like to say in these salt mines, it’s not called Smarting of Age.

    5. Agemegos

      He doesn’t have responsibility or authority. He has arrogance and no clue instead; a field-expedient substitute.

    6. Mturtle7

      My understanding of the situation is that as the RA, Ruth is someone people in the dorm tend to ask to help resolve disputes. Like, if two roommates can’t agree on something, or a large group in the dorm is pissed off at someone’s habits, they might go to the RA and she’ll try to end the conflict one way or another (in Ruth’s case, she might just do it by scaring the offender and/or victim into submission, though she has been trying to cut down on that lately). Becky and Dina were upset about something Carla said, so they went to get Ruth, assuming she would take their side and therefore resolve the dispute by putting Carla in her place (I like to think they were wrong in this assumption, but that’s neither here nor there). Upon discovering that she was out, they promptly declared that Jason, as the person currently standing in Ruth’s doorway, was obligated to act as the New Ruth for them. Jason “reluctantly” agreed because he really likes being pushed around by teenage girls while making token protests about his dignity (see: his relationship with Sal).

      1. Mturtle7

        …you know, now that I put it that way, this kind of makes me want to ship Carla and Jason, platonically or otherwise. She loves poking holes in arrogant people’s dignity, and he loves getting his dignity ruined by uppity teenagers – they can both easily get what they need from each other. I can easily imagine a one-sided “prank war” between these two escalating into a serious long-term relationship.

        1. Blue

          I don’t like them as a couple but a prank war would be gold.

  10. BBCC

    Look, Jason, once you learn she’s friends with Sal, this will all make sense.

  11. Cerusee

    ahhhhhh I love a good clash of the inflated egos with no civilian casualties. Go on, writhe some more! These two are fun.

  12. Jonah Sanville

    Carla’s right!! Carla’s always right

  13. Bagge

    I hope Walky takes notes, that was a more effective burn that anything he has ever dished out

    1. cbwroses

      Walky doesn’t take notes even when he’s present for something, so the possibility of him doing so now is…completely possible if Carla decides to regale others of how she slammed a door in a walking thesaurus’ face.

      1. Bagge

        Given that Walky’s one and only example of taking notes consisted of Jason being eaten by a scientifically incorrect dinosaur, I’m not sure which would be the better scenario.

  14. AY

    Carla’s face is great in panel 4, I can practically hear the snort

    1. milu

      Haha yeah it is =D
      ty for pointing it out, love the attention to detail

  15. tim gueguen

    How could Jason not know about Carla Awareness Week? I’m sure she arranged for every cell phone in a 500 mile radius received a text about it, whether the owners have texting services or not. Perhaps supplemented by TV and radio ads.

    1. Bagge

      He filtered it out because in his world there is only one queen and it isn’t Carla

      1. King Daniel

        It’s Freddie Mercury’s band, right?

        1. StClair

          One flesh, one bone, one true religion
          One voice, one hope, one real decision

        2. Casi

          Give me, give me FRIED CHICKEN!

        3. The Wellerman

          OOO!!!

          SAUCE preference? ?

        4. Bagge

          He is British

  16. zee

    Damn i came here early for once hoping for best ship since I’ll have to be out of the house in half an hour tomorrow morning and won’t have time to scroll through the comments when i wake up

    1. zee

      Jason, i love you, but not when there’s sal cuteness to be seen

      1. BBCC

        You get me.

        1. Casi

          But it’s Carla Awareness week!

        2. BBCC

          We can be aware of more than one person!

        3. Casi

          Can we though? I have doubts that there is anyone other than Carla that we can be aware of, because she requires a lot of awareness to survive. She’s a perception vampire after all.

        4. BBCC

          I have TWO eyes! 😀

        5. Spencer

          We’re being repressed.

        6. zee

          Rise up my comrades! As individual shippers we are powerless, but together we are strong. The Dina/Becky shipper bourgeois have been living in indulgence while the Danny/Sal proletariat starves. No longer shall we live under the oppressive boot of Damn You Willis, together we shall rise and make our demands heard! Seize the means of shipping, redistribute the screentime!

        7. zee

          Damn that too like 20 minutes and the new strip is gonna be out in 10, my efforts will go wasted

        8. Spencer

          I laughed.

        9. zee

          Thank you, comrade

        10. BBCC

          Same.

  17. newlland(Henryvolt)

    I like learning and using new witty words as much as the next guy, heck I even looked up the definition of the word Thesaurus just now and up until now I just thought the paramour was the name of a band (points for them for clever naming) but sometimes I got to be careful not to be that guy who uses over complex words just to sound smart.

    Like the were a number of different options he could have used if he didn’t want to say he’s her boyfriend, like “Lover” or ” Significant other”.

    1. Laura

      Actually takes more smarts to talk and write at a 5th grade level. I keep trying, using MS Word’s “readability statistics,” and I can’t do it. One day I will be worthy to edit a Wikipedia Simple English article.

      1. The Wellerman

        “Behind every great physics concept, there is a simple picture that even a child could understand. If there is no simple picture, then it probably isn’t a good one.”

        — Albert Einstein

        Being a STEM major who’s taken a Scientific Writing class that emphasizes this, simply explaining things so that others can actually build on communicated ideas is crucial to social and scientific progress alike.

        Thanks for sharing Laura!!! ?

        1. RedCat

          Yes! I experienced this the other day, my friend studies applied computer science, and I did not get anything about what he was talking about until he visualized it for me, because I have like, no pre-existing knowledge about coding. Visualizing stuff really helps.

      2. milu

        @Laura YES!
        so true. That’s why I’m (still) a bad writer. I’m constantly tempted to take the easy path of using an obscure word rather than work a bit harder to find an idiom or image that will actually shine in its simplicity. Same with sentence construction, I still have a lot to learn about pith and impact. Also, I use too many adverbs. #LifeGoals!

        1. khn0

          If you’re writing fiction, it is somehow part of poetic license to be allowed to utter words simply for how they sound rather than to be perfectly understood. Also context will always help the reader (unless you’re planning on learning, you’re not reading with a thesaurus on the side, which means some semantics will always be a little murky for a given person, what isn’t that bad because semantics aren’t absolute). Also as a writer you’re responsible for a greater part for unobscuring obscure words that the average reader. Also for PoC writers and revolutionaries it has been a powerful tool to subvert the white language.
          tl;dr: you do you but impact and shining are not always the best literature (no I don’t like neither King nor Preston).

        2. milu

          yeah, of course there are many ways of writing well. i’m not even making a value judgement as to which are superior here.

          as a reader, i enjoy the verbose and the terse, the tortured and the crisp, the velvety and the rough, Regalli and Yotomoe =D It’s more about intent, i guess.

          and that’s my issue as a writer (…of internet comments mostly)— i struggle to control my mannerisms, rein in my latinates and pare down my syntax. i have a penchant for brackets and a sweet spot for hedges. i indulge in fractals of sidebars and adjectival lacework and neglect the hospitality of conciseness.

          so… i suck basically =P

        3. khn0

          Well the point I was making was that there are too many “concise telling” writers out there -for my taste anyway- already.

          Back at the university, I was taught that the average lexicon of english-speaking people was around 200 words (plus derivatives), while some other language had a 800 words average, or 2000, depending on factors like average education level, exposition of the language to foreign words, process for creating neologisms, technological level of the main language people when stabilizing said lexicon, polysemic uses. All in all, I think to remember that english language was the one where interactions were possible with the less lexicon, hence a tendency to conciseness, nouning verbs and verbing nouns whenever possible to make it shorter, and a rich slang. That makes it indeed very difficult to possess litterarily for any foreigner, and in the same time makes any personal or cultural linguistic habit emerges as particular or even peculiar.

          Writing internet comments as an art form is a thing I think Magnus Enzensberger and many other people would label as totally legit.

          I don’t think anyone here would say or even think you suck at it.

  18. Durandal_1707

    Incidentally, “thesaurus” is Jason’s answer to Dina’s password request.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Dina: “Wrong. Incorrect. Erroneous. Invalid.” *Slams door*

  19. bcb

    I thought Carla Awareness Week was in the last week of October? And also every other week, because the Dutch are a festive people.

    1. milu

      Carla is as surprised (and delighted) as you!

  20. nightshade

    no offense but IRl Carla would verbally smacked down very quickly by almost everyone there

    1. Amelie Wikström

      Like she was verbally smacked down by Walky in the Ultra Car/Dexter and Monkey Master debate?

      It’s impossible to argue with Carla. That’s not necessarily a positive trait, but that’s how she stays alive in a world that wants her to stop. You can tell her she’s judgmental or obnoxious or conceited or wrong or whatever, but the only thing that’s going to happen is that she doesn’t care about what you have to say. If you’re lucky.

      Presumably people have already tried and given up by the time we first meet her.

      1. Eldritchy

        Problem is while this might have been true in the past she is now in a very supportive and safe environment and alienating potential friends and allies will just hurt her in the long run. No one wants to hang out with an asshole unless they have something to gain.

        1. Sirksome

          I mean Carla’s a billionaire heiress. Not only does she not need to feign interest in social interaction if she doesn’t want to, she’ll never lack of people wanting to get close to her, purely for selfish gain and exploitation, or otherwise. Carla is essentially untouchable in our society. So yeah, maybe her obnoxious attitude would normally be a detriment to her in the future, but the truth is actually not really.

          Also I do think most of her friend group knows how performative her egotistical personality really is. Part of her may legitimately think she’s better than everyone else and some arguable ways she is, but she’s also the first one to ask for acknowledgement, validation, and inclusion. Often inserting herself into situations just to be around people.

        2. Username Taken

          I’m not sure if I would say any trans person lives in a safe environment, even if they have a great support system. Carla certainly didn’t feel safe when Mary was harassing her and Ruth punted on putting an end to it. 🙁

        3. Sirksome

          I think it might be a little different for Carla. I can’t speak for the trans existence myself, but I do believe just by know a few trans friends that they would be extremely jealous of Carla’s existence, even if that meant dealing with pricks like Mary.

          But “safeness” in this case I think is more up to the individual, as the dorm at least doesn’t present itself as a discriminatory environment except for Mary who is an obvious outlier. So, the real question is if Carla feels like she’s in a safe environment in the dorm? In general, I say she does, or at least doesn’t show any obvious signs of discomfort.

          IU and society as a whole are questions larger in scope. It would be interesting to know Carla’s takes on that honestly. She presented a rather dismissive opinion once to Malaya, but I’d like to hear more details on that.

        4. thejeff

          Money certainly helps, but it doesn’t shelter you from the bigotry completely. Of course trans friends would be happy to have the money – but they’re already dealing with the prejudice anyway.

          For Carla, I’d say the biggest factor is the supportive parents. Even without the money, that makes a huge difference. If her parents rejected her, she might not have the money, even if they were rich.

        5. Blue

          It’s hard to feel completely safe in a culture that until recently had little experience with trans people. Somebody can make the most innocent remark without realizing its hurtful.

  21. brionl

    Hail, Hail, Thesauria!
    A land, I didn’t make up!

    1. Needfuldoer

      That episode didn’t age well…

      1. cbwroses

        It didn’t? What’s wrong with it?

      2. RowenMorland

        Was it good at the time?

  22. brute

    i love Carla

  23. Bryy

    Now I want to know what portion of Ruth’s psyche needs Jason’s bullshit.

    1. Wraithy2773

      Probably that he’s responsible, moderately uncomplicated, aims towards being a moral person, sexually interested in her, and isn’t dependent on her for his mental health.

      Jason’s got a fuckton of issues, but he’s hardly the worst fuckbuddy around. Compared to most of the cast, he’s incredibly uncomplicated and she might just want something casual to lean on.

      1. The Wellerman

        Fuckbuddy… I don’t know why, but I’m just laughing my ass off just from that word!!!

        ????

      2. milu

        He’s also non-american, pathetically smug, morally compromised. They have stuff in common.

        Oh and he’s a massive bratty bottom, I’m sure that plays a part

        1. RedCat

          You know, now that you say is, yes, definitely a bottom.

        2. Roborat

          And if memory serves, a rather well hung one as well.

        3. Blue

          Wasn’t Sal literally on top of him at some point?

  24. Throwatron

    …I don’t know what this character dynamic is called, but I think I might be aroused by it.

    1. RedCat

      Two smartasses?

  25. Lily

    “partner” iwould get but if someone called me their paramour i’d think they were trying too hard. or super into that band lol

  26. not someone else

    I get the strong impression he doesn’t want to be Ruth’s boyfriend, he wants to be Ruth’s begrudging, arm’s-length casual sex partner.

  27. PirateTawnee

    Once she’s done with Jason, could Carla mock me for any British quirks I have that seem normal to me but are apparently not?

    1. Daibhid C

      Will you react to her mockery by saying “Ma’am, I am British” in that perfectly normal British way that we do all the time?

      1. PirateTawnee

        Indubitably.

  28. Rabisch

    This could be both the beginning of a lifelong friendship or of a lifelong aversion between this two. Definitely Jason has no obligation to do what he’s doing.

  29. Darkoneko

    You’re not paid enough for this shit, Jason, just walk off

    1. milu

      you dont know how Ruth is gonna “pay” Jason for being such a good pet. it might be worth it.

  30. Sombrero

    I truly hope this is going to escalate.

  31. Judas Peckerwood

    Oh Jason, you’re nowhere near the level to which you’ll eventually lower yourself.

  32. Florence

    I don’t hate Jason, but I do feel nothing about him most of the time. I just don’t have anything I can cling to unless another character is going through something interesting enough to keep my attention

    1. Needfuldoer

      He works best when he can play straight in contrast with the wacky hijinks happening around him.

      (Not many opportunities for him to be the 99p Stores Bond here in the Dumbiverse.)

      1. Florence

        Yea, I liked him best when he was tutoring walky or drinking with Ruth.

    2. The Wellerman

      I know how ya feel bruh! Neurodivergence, ADHD stripes and all ?

      How’s it going Down Under?

      Sorry, have a lot of goofball energy right now, but still! ?

      1. Florence

        It’s fine I guess, bout to have an election in 2 days. Personally just very bleh inside, tired I guess

        1. The Wellerman

          ? Oh, sorry to hear!

          Wanna cheer you up somehow.

          Want in on a DOA game project I’m working on? It’s got dinosaurs in it!!!
          Scientifically accurate ones!! ???

          Also, I like having friends. Really helps.

        2. Florence

          I’m just not energetic for much right now but thanks for the offer

        3. The Wellerman

          You’re welcome! ?

        4. The Wellerman

          In the off chance ya change your mind or just wanna chat, discord is on my page if ya click my name ?

        5. The Wellerman

          *plays “Just Like You” by Kyle Gabler on hacked muzak*

        6. Agemegos

          Yeah. There are twenty-three parties and five independents running for the Senate in my state, and I still haven’t got round to due diligence on their platforms. I’m probably going to end up using some rule of thumb such as leaving any party with “Values” in its name til last.

        7. Agemegos

          At least for the House of Reps it’s okay: there’s an okay independent running in my division, and only four parties that I ache to put dead last.

        8. JBento

          Also “Family” and “Freedom”.

  33. Francoinblanco

    God now Jason walking around and telling people he is somebody paratrooper.
    Besides using big words might be impolite but slaming doors because of that is just rude

    1. milu

      I don’t know if that was an intentional portmanteau but XD @ “paratrooper”

    2. Blue

      Carla would never be rude! She is great and everyone else is a bug.

  34. Amós Batista

    Is Jason implying he in on a affair with Ruth. And there is another person “official” to her?

    1. Eldritchy

      Femurs

    2. Agemegos

      Nope. He’s just using a big word that he doesn’t really know the meaning of, to sound fancy. This is because he is a pompous ass.

      1. cbwroses

        Or he recognizes that “especially” illicit doesn’t equal “always” illicit.
        Or he’s using it informally which, according to my look up function, paramour in British terms, can mean toy boy, and old British terms can mean fancy man, both of which could apply to Jason.
        Or maybe the illicitness is due to his lack of work visa.
        I’m just suggesting that being a pompous ass doesn’t negate the possibility that he knows what the word means.

  35. AGV

    You ARE a pompous arse, Jason

    1. Reaver

      So is Carla lol

      1. Eldritchy

        Ass on Ass Combat! Mhm… that sounded kinkier than intended.

        1. RedCat

          There is an anime about that. Only got girls ass-fighting, though. And I mean that literally, this is not a euphemism.

        2. Eldritchy

          Oh yeah, Keijo!!!!!

        3. Francoinblanco

          Requiem for a Dream flashback

        4. milu

          *shiver* that was a particularly unpleasant scene which i wish i hadn’t seen as young as i did. that movie was so exploitative, ugh.

  36. Maggie

    As much as I like to side with fellow Brits over Yanks, I’m with Carla on this one.

    1. The Wellerman

      Maggie, Maggie, which one are you, might I ask?

      1. JBento

        She said “fellow Brits”, so I presume she’s one.

  37. Eldritchy

    Well with a bit of luck Jason will get so caught up in arguing that he’ll forget what he came here to do.

  38. ValdVin

    I learned paramour as a word way before the common meaning of “a lover, especially the illicit partner of a married person”. I also took that to mean someone who cheats.

    Is there anything illicit in his having Ruth as a bedmate and bunking there for several days?

    1. cbwroses

      It’s especially illicit, but not necessarily illicit.
      But maybe the illicitness comes from him basically being an undocumented immigrant (I assume the term applies since he no longer has his work visa from being a TA).

    2. Amós Batista

      I got a weird theory that Jason is investing in Ruth to marry her and, eventually, grab an american nationality.

      1. spriteless_auntie

        North Americian, maybe.

        1. ValdVin

          Yeah, at some point that plan will fall on the shoals of “Your passport doesn’t let you bring a guest to the US. This isn’t a health club.”

  39. milu

    Carla is just having way too much fun

  40. Deviant

    Ouch, right in the cultural identity. Thats gotta hurt.

  41. -

    Hmmm, not sure this isn’t somehow counter to “accommodate other people’s methods of self-expression” or something modern and trendy. At any rate, I don’t think one can dictate to others on matters of idiolect and vocabulary. That said, Carla IS supposed to be insufferable. Note that none of the above is an endorsement of Jason as anything other than stuffy and slightly annoying, however.

    1. Blue

      It’s very rude behavior by Carla, and people mostly find it funny because Jason can be insufferable.

      1. -

        Indeed- as I said, “none of the above is an endorsement of Jason as anything other than stuffy and slightly annoying”. Not trying to make it a competition of who’s more insufferable and whose conduct is more deserving of criticism (this caveat necessary given… internet interaction is never clearcut!)

  42. milu

    Hey hey, this is a continuation of the “is it ok to tell everyone you fucked” convo, if anyone’s interested.

    I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind, if anything I hope my mind is changed by the end of this because i feel like there’s something i’m still not getting here. But yeah, I’ve thought about it some more and i’m not quite done dissecting this issue.

    Still, i wanna say, if anyone is uncomfortable with me bringing this up yet again, i will stop. this is not a pressing issue and i’m not looking for a fight.

    So, in a comment thread yesterday a few people answered my question of “why would you say the way Becky and Dina are telling people about having fucked is inappropriate?”

    Bill’s choice of words i found quite telling. Bill, would you agree that you hold socially conservative positions? Because that means we’re probably not going to agree in any case. I don’t think social change is a priori a bad thing, and i’m wondering how much this is a case of you just being uncomfortable with change (your dismissive tone about social media leads me to guess you’re not really familiar with them and somehow wish they wouldn’t exist, or at least aren’t interested in them to begin with, which in my opinion disqualifies you from judging them. this is tangential but after all, you did choose to rant about social media in a discussion about talking about sex irl)

    Reaver, i sympathize with your perspective but on second read I noticed you also caricatured Becky here when you said “don’t tell the cashier you fucked your girlfriend raw“. This is both not an equivalent situation (service worker vs. college friends and acquaintances) and not an equivalent statement (neither girl said anything quite this crude).

    so, i have to say i’m still unconvinced. i don’t think “people may be offended” is a sufficient reason to argue that doing something is inappropriate.

    The parallels brought up (burping in public, talking about having taken a poop) are not quite satisfying to me, because they don’t contain the political dimension that two queer women, one of them ace, the other fundie-raised, loudly announcing that they’ve had sex, DOES have.

    Are you welcome to find it annoying? sure.
    Should they stop talking about it if the other person asks them to? sure.
    But should we condemn this transgression of the social norm that says you don’t talk about sex openly and in public? of that i’m still not convinced.

    1. milu

      (that said, in this specific instance one thing i do agre is problematic, as Miri pointed out yesterday, is the whole “don’t tell Joyce” business. i agree but i think people were not all reacting negatively to B&D’s indiscretions for that reason)

      1. anonymsly

        I personally was and am reacting in the vein of ‘I don’t need to hear it seven goddamn times’ and mostly the ‘we’re going to tell everyone other than Joyce and swear them all to secrecy so she can be excluded and we all laugh at her stupidity forever’. Plus, you know, a healthy dose of loathing for Becky in most instances.

        1. shanunu

          This, right? I’m happy for them to be this happy in their relationship, but when I realized their mission was to tell EVERYONE except one person, hoping that person will be excluded (which won’t happen, even if they think it’s for her own good) is like. Really toxic to me? And I don’t super get the logic of NOT wanting Joyce to find out. She has self admitted she doesn’t super care about premarital sex like Becky does, and even if Becky is in denial about Joyce being an atheist now, WHY is it logically okay for her to have had premarital sex as a Christian and then to lie by omission to another “Christian” about it??

        2. Blue

          I think premarital sex would easily risk reopening the atheism debate that happened at most two days ago.

    2. Reaver

      Meh I don’t care enough about this topic to continue, I really don’t feel up to justifying why I think it’s not cool to spew off to randoms who didn’t ask about your sex life.

      You have a good one though.

      1. milu

        fair. Looks like not many people are as interested as me anyway. Heh, I can get a bit obsessive about trivial stuff sometimes I guess =/

  43. RassilonTDavros

    Yeah, I know some of the comments here are judging Carla’s apparent anti-British bias, but I’m just gonna say that if I were in her shoes I probably wouldn’t have a high opinion of people from “TERF Island” either.

    1. RowenMorland

      Perhaps Jason could embrace American culture more to learn from their lack of trans discriminating ways.

      1. milu

        *audience laughs uproariously*

    2. Blue

      I don’t think it has anything to do with Britain, she just doesn’t like anyone more self-important than her.

  44. Keulen

    Carla’s got a point. I follow multiple British twitch streamers who don’t talk in the overly formal way that Jason does.

  45. egg egg

    I don’t normally consider what characters sound like, but I’ve definitely decided that Carla’s voice is the nerdy, nasally Chie voice from the newer persona 4 golden.

    1. Blue

      I love Persona 4 but the English voices… Actually the English in general is bad.

    2. Taffy

      You’re gonna go with Erin Fitzgerald Chie over Tracey Rooney Chie?

  46. Cris

    This is beautiful.

    Carla rubs everyone the wrong way (on purpose, it’s her goal), but there’s such a palatable difference between a transwoman being insufferably proud and the same coming from another mediocre white man.

    The clash of egos flipping the status quo upside down is just (chefs kiss) SO good.

  47. Mturtle7

    You know, as soon as Jason was told to go make Carla do something, I tried to predict how that interaction would go, and I think I actually made a comment along the lines of “Carla will tell Jason he has to go through some ridiculous and arbitrary series of trials before she’ll consider agreeing to his request.” It looks like that prediction was SPOT ON!

    Can’t wait for the next comic, where she tells Jason she won’t listen to anyone who isn’t wearing a bucket over his head and doing the Darth Vader voice.

    1. Blue

      That’s not on-brand for Carla at all.

  48. anonymsly

    Give up now, Jason. Carla’s never going to let you actually say the request you foolishly agreed to make. Just tell the door ‘go ahead and tell Joyce, I no longer give a monkey’s’ and walk away. With any luck you’ll re-trigger Carla’s oppositional defiance and she’ll yell something like ‘I won’t because you’re not the boss of me, pipe cleaner!’

  49. Eldritchy

    I have this desire to see Jason and Carla play a WH40k battle… with Carla playing Orks just to annoy him
    “Come on ya git!”

    1. Blue

      She skates so fast because she always wears red.

  50. Daibhid C

    Apparently, there are people complaining Carla is being anti-British here somehow? Whereas my reaction as a British person was “FINALLY, someone’s exposed this absurd affectation for what it is!”

    Frankly, Jason would make much more sense as a character if it was revealed he’s from Des Moines, started doing the accent to get girls, and is now stuck with it.

    1. Blue

      Oh my god I need this in my life.

    2. C.T. Phipps

      *clap clap clap*

  51. Spencer

    I feel like Ruth and Jason’s relationship status is more Paradeez instead pf Paramour.

  52. Username Taken

    This strip felt weird to me, and I finally realized why: Carla feels like the kind of person who would tell a stranger to call themselves Ruth’s “partner,” not her “boyfriend.” I mean, she guessed right, I just don’t see her as the type to insist to strangers that they used specific gendered terms for themselves.

    IDK. Anyway, I love Carla as always and Jason is an enjoyably pompous goofus, as usual. 10/10, I love this duo interacting. Between this and the Sal/Danny cuteness, and the Becky/Dina cuteness, I’m enjoying the parts of the story that are balancing out the negative drama right now.

    1. the jighole man

      she’s not concerned about gendered terms or whatever, she just doesn’t like people using unnecessarily fancy language for the sake of sounding smart/fancy/sophisticated.

      and i agree with her, it is annoying.
      or should i say “pompous vernacular is indeed most irksome.”

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